Take me Home
by blanchemalfoy
Summary: Status: COMPLETE. The Road Home’s sequel. It’s Draco’s and Harry’s sixth year and they’ll have to deal with their love for each other, their parents’ sins and Voldemort’s terrible plans. SLASH! HD
1. Empty

**Title:** TAKE ME HOME (1/?)

**Author:** blanchemalfoy

**Rating**: R

**Summary:** The Road Home's sequel. It's Draco's and Harry's sixth year and they'll have to deal with their love for each other, their parents' sins and Voldemort's terrible plans. I hate summaries so much...

**Pairings:** **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warning:** This is SLASH (male/male pairing). If you don't like the idea or think is wrong, etc, etc, just don't read the story. You've been warned. 

A/N: Thanks to Tiger Blak, and Lucinda K., my beta readers. If you didn't read The Road Home, I'd suggest that you do. ^_~.

Chap. 1 – **EMPTY**

***The Past***

To James Potter, one of the greatest things in life was to be able to fly on a broom. He loved the sky more than anything in the world. This is where he found himself on a cool night in December, during his seventh year, trying hard to calm his heart from the hideous feelings that it held for Lucius Malfoy. 

He didn't know what drew him to the guy. Lucius was charming when he wasn't bragging about his fortune but other than that, he couldn't possibly understand why he liked him so much. It was lust. An animal lust that he was trying hard to suppress but was failing miserably. What had he been thinking about, kissing Lucius like that after their race?  

And if that moment of stupidity wasn't enough, ever since that episode, he couldn't take his eyes off Lucius. He was so confused about his feelings. He loved Lily. She was soft and delicate. Lucius was rough and nasty. She was like a summer breeze; he was like a stormy night. But still... James liked Lily and he lusted for her, but not in the same way that he lusted for Lucius. With Lucius it seemed so intense and irresistible. 

But he wouldn't surrender. He couldn't. He had Lily. He'd rather die than hurt Lily. To give in to those nasty emotions that he felt for Lucius wasn't a good thing. For one thing, everybody knew that Lucius was the son of a cruel man, a man that knew no mercy or honesty. A man that people used to say was connected with the powerful and even more cruel Lord Voldemort. To let himself become involved with Lucius was almost the same as signing his death warranty. 

He was determined not to give in, and with that in mind, he went to the Gryffindor locker room to take a shower. What he didn't know was that as he took off his clothes he wasn't alone. Someone else was there already, waiting for him, watching his every move. And as he was about to take off his trousers, he sensed someone behind him and turned around to face whomever it was. To his surprise, it was the same person that he wished to avoid. __

"Potter," Lucius said.

"Jesus, Malfoy! Don't scare me like that ever again! What are you doing here anyway?"

"I had to see you. This is the only place that we can talk without being interrupted."

"We don't have anything to talk about," James said dryly. 

Lucius smirked, "You're so funny, Potter. You haven't been able to stop smiling at me ever since you kissed me, you–"__

"Don't!" James cut him off. "I don't know what happened that day, all right? Let's just forget about the whole thing and call it a day."

James tried to put his shirt on, the idea of taking a bath long forgotten from his mind, but Lucius stopped him. 

"You're going nowhere, Potter! Not until you hear me out!"

"I don't want to listen!"

"But you will! _Imperio_!" Lucius shouted before James could react properly.

James froze and his mind seemed to fly away.

"I'm sorry for this," Lucius said, his face contracted. "You gave me no choice. All I want is for you to hear me out, and also for you to tell me why the bloody hell you kissed me that day. You left me on the pitch all alone and confused. Why did you do that? Why did you kiss me? Answer me!"__

"I kissed you because I wanted to," James answered, his eyes lost somewhere else.

"That's not enough. I want details."

"I kissed you because I'm attracted to you and you make me burn. Every time I look at you, it's like being caught by a tornado. It's dangerous and exciting. I'd been wondering for a while what would be like to touch and kiss you. I just wanted to know."

Lucius's jaw fell open. 

"Do you still feel that way?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yes."

Lucius breathed soundly and sat on the floor. "I... I feel the same way."

There was no response from James, who kept staring straight ahead with an empty expression.

"Listen, Potter, and listen carefully. I need you to help me. I know your father is very important and he practically runs the Ministry all by himself. I'm thinking about running away. I'll tell all about my father and Voldemort's plans. But I need a place to hide! I have nowhere to go." Lucius sighed. "You're not listening, are you? I guess I should release you from the control curse. But please tell me you're going to help me."

"I will help you."

Lucius stood up and stopped a few inches away from James.

"Before I release you from the curse, maybe I should enjoy just a little." Lucius brushed his lips on James'. "Kiss me, James," he whispered.

And James did. Lucius got lost in the kiss but he still managed to mutter 'Finite Incantatem' before letting his wand drop on the floor. To James, it didn't make a difference. The kiss and the curse had the same effect on him. He deepened the kiss, thirsty for more. He needed to feel more of Lucius so he started to unbutton the blonde's shirt.  He'd yearned for this moment for so long that now that he had Lucius in his arms, he didn't want to pull away. His hunger for Lucius was so ravenous and he wasted no time taking off their clothes and extracting all the pleasure that he could from the situation. __

They touched, kissed and held each other with passion. 

"Let me take you," whispered Lucius.

"Yes."

"Lie down on your stomach," Lucius murmured to James, who promptly obeyed.

What happened next was a sequence of low moans and guttural sounds that sent both of them to the stars and back to earth again. James gripped Lucius' hand in his own as they got closer to climax and when the ecstasy finally arrived, Lucius disentangled his hand of James' to stroke the other's face. 

"I never thought that sex could be so good," Lucius confessed.

He tried to cuddle against James, who pulled him away and stood up looking very lost. 

"What have you done?" James asked, his face contorted with confusion and pain.

"What are you talking about?"

"You raped me!"

"What?" Lucius stood up to face him. "What we did was totally consensual, Potter!"

"You had me under Imperius, you sick bastard! I didn't know what I was doing!" James shouted.

"Don't give me that shit, Potter! You weren't under the curse anymore!" Lucius shouted back. 

"You're lying!"

James quickly got dressed and tried to leave as fast as he could but Lucius' firm grip stopped him. 

"You're not going anywhere, Potter. Not until we talk about this."

"Let go of me!"

"NO!"

Lucius anger increased to a dangerous level. He pushed James against one of the lockers. 

"You liked it, Potter. It's useless to deny it!"

"It was the curse, it wasn't me! And how dare you cast an unforgivable curse on me! Everybody told me you were evil but did I listen to them? No. Somehow I thought you were a nice guy under the cool exterior but I was so wrong! Look what you did to me! Look what you make me do! You're sick."__

Lucius was too outraged to say anything. He clutched his fists and punched the locker, purposely missing James' head by an inch. He knew he shouldn't lose his temper but he couldn't get a hold of himself. His face started to redden and he felt short of breath. Soon, he was breathing with difficulty and he fell on the floor. James knelt beside him with a panicked expression.

"What's going on? Talk to me!"

Lucius pointed his index finger at his robe and muttered with extreme difficulty, "Robe... please... help... Jimmy... look... left pocket..."

James got Lucius' robe and looked for whatever it was that he was supposed to find in the left pocket. He found a small device of some sort and he handled it to Lucius, asking himself what it was for. Lucius put the device in his mouth and pressed the button three times with James' help. Then, as his breath went back to normal, the device slipped out of his hand and he leaned his head on James' leg. 

"Are you ok?" James asked. "Should I call someone?"

"Don't panic, Potter. I'm better now."

"You scared the hell out of me. I thought you were dying."

With his eyes closed, Lucius smiled bitterly. "You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"No! Of course not."

James was still confused about the whole episode, and he was disgusted not only with what Lucius had done but also with himself, but he didn't want Lucius to die. 

"What happened?"__

"I'm asthmatic, Potter. Funny, huh? The great Lucius Malfoy has asthma." Lucius put his clothes on when he was fully recovered, not wanting to look into James' eyes after the show he had put on in front of the Gryffindor. "Don't say a word about this to anyone, Potter." He took two steps forward but turned around to face James once more. "I really hate you, now more than ever. But I have to know if you will help me. You remember what I said to you, don't you?" James nodded and Lucius went on, "I hate to depend on you but I have no choice. What will it be, Potter?"__

"I'll see what I can do."

Lucius shook his head and smirked, "Not good enough, but I guess it will have to do for now." 

He walked towards the door but stopped with his hand on the knob when he heard James' voice.

"I promise to talk to my father, even though I don't believe your intentions are noble."

Lucius didn't answer back. He had a harsh comment right on the tip of his tongue but he didn't say anything. He just opened up the door and left. 

"Lucius... I hate you so much," James muttered in tears.  

_                                                           ----------_

***The Present***

"Lucius..." James muttered before waking up entirely. 

It took a while for him to notice that once again he had dreamt about the past. A past that he wished to bury forever into the depths of his subconscious, but that had been brought back thanks to Snape and his memory potion. 

For sixteen years everybody had believed that James Potter was dead, only to find out that he wasn't. He'd been kept hidden on an island in the Pacific by a woman named Vivienne Grosford – Lily's best friend in the past – a woman who had loved James in an obsessive way. Her love for him had been so deep that she had taken him away and erased his memory the moment she realised that Voldemort had vanished from the earth but James was alive. 

Vivienne had been the first one to get to the Potter's house right after the tragedy with her partner by her side. Thinking that Lily and Harry were dead, Vivienne had killed her partner and placed an illusion charm on him so that for the next twenty-four hours he would look like James. Then she had taken James away and in spite of the fact that he had tried to struggle the moment he had been conscious again, she persuaded him to leave everything and start over with a new life and a new identity. 

_"Your family is all dead, James. There's nothing left for you here," she had whispered to him while he cried over the loss of his wife and son. _"Let me take your memory away. Let me take you away. I can end your misery, James. Please, let me do this for you."__

Desperate, James had agreed. And for sixteen years he had no knowledge of what had happened in the wizarding world.  He knew all about magic, but nothing about Hogwarts or Voldemort. But then Vivienne had developed cancer, and she had found out by chance that Harry Potter hadn't died that day. She had wept for him, and in her madness, she had told James everything. 

James had stayed by her side until the day she had died, and even at the end he hadn't hated her. He felt pity for her. Vivienne had always been a troubled woman. Later on, when James had arrived at Hogwarts, he had found out that Vivienne had been a Death Eater, and a dangerous one, but that she had never really understood what she had done. In her mind, she thought she was helping James. It had been all Voldemort's fault, as usual. _He had taken advantage of her unstable mind. _

_'Poor tormented soul,' thought James. _'May she rest in peace.'__

Now James was back at Hogwarts and he wished he was back on the island. Just a few people knew that he was there and no one would say a word about it until James recovered all of his strength. 

The process to get James' memories back had been long and painful. Vivienne had erased too many of them, so they'd come back to him in stages. It took him a month to remember everything. In the mean time, he created a new bond with Remus and Sirius but not with Harry. His son… He still hadn't gotten used to the fact that he had a son. He didn't know what to say or how to behave when Harry was around. In fact, James didn't like to have Harry around. Those moments were always awkward and disturbing. Harry also didn't know how to act around him, so they just avoided each other.

The night James had finally remembered it all, things had gotten even worse between him and Harry. It didn't make any sense to him why he wasn't able to talk to his son or even hold him, so he had cried. It wasn't like he didn't want to do any of those things. He just couldn't do it. Harry reminded him too much of Lily and all he had lost. Lily... the only woman he had ever loved. 

After getting back his memories, James had gone into a state of shock for two weeks. He'd spent most of the day and night in the Hospital Wing under the cares of Madam Pomfrey. Every now and then he was assaulted with terrible headaches. The medication helped him to a point, but in the potions and tonics he drank there wasn't a cure for his disturbed soul or his depression. Once Sirius tried to cast him a Cheering charm but the effect went off fast, leaving him even more depressed than before. 

The only nights that he'd slept well was when Harry'd spent the night beside him. He didn't know about it though. He had said to Madam Pomfrey that he didn't want Harry around because he didn't want his son to see his father breaking down. But Harry, the famous rule-breaker, slipped in under the Invisibility cloak almost every night. 

And then there was Lucius Malfoy… The only person who had made him burn from the inside out. He wondered what had happened to Lucius. Was he still alive? Was he still married to Narcissa? He remembered that Narcissa had given birth to a boy a little before Lily had had Harry. Did the boy go to Hogwarts? Was he Harry's enemy as well? So many questions… his head started aching again.

He reached for the tonic that Madam Pomfrey had left on the bedside table and touched a soft hand. He instantly grabbed the hand and twisted in self-defence. The person moaned in pain.

'Dad, it's me!"

"Harry?" James let go of him and stared at his son with remorse but also anger. "Harry, didn't I say to you that I didn't want you here?"

Harry's eyes flinched. "Yes."

"How did you…" James stopped talking the moment he saw his old Invisibility cloak spread on the other bed. "Oh, I see. Dumbledore gave it to you." He took the cloak in his hands. "You shouldn't have sneaked out like that, Harry. I could have seriously hurt you!"

"But you didn't."

James sat on his bed and sighed, "Sirius warned me about you. He said you're a Marauder." 

Harry smiled weakly. "I guess. I have the cloak and the map."

"The Marauder's map? I thought it had been confiscated years ago."

"It was, but someone stole it from Filch and gave it to me." Harry took the map out of his pocket and handed it to James.

"Oh, my God." James' eyes sparkled as he looked at the map. "This brings back good memories."

"Remus doesn't like to look at it."

"Remus had always been the most pessimistic and the gloomiest of our gang. He wasn't a natural prankster like Sirius and me." James commented and then put the map aside. "Come here, Harry." Harry stopped in front of James, who took his hand in his and stroked it gently. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Harry muttered. "Does your head hurt?"

James smiled. "A little. That reminds me…" James reached out for the little bottle again and drank its contents. A minute later, he sighed in relief. 

"You were having a bad dream."

James tensed. "Sort of."

"You said Lucius Malfoy's name, didn't you?"

Harry had hit a very painful nerve and James snapped, "No, I didn't! Even if I did, this doesn't concern you! You shouldn't be here, Harry! I'm not well yet and your presence disturbs me. Please, leave! Now!" 

James regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. He saw the hurt in Harry's eyes and he wanted to hex himself for being responsible for that. Harry took the cloak and turned to leave but James called him back.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I'm still very lost and…" James bit his lower lip. "Can I be brutally honest with you?"

Harry faced his father and nodded.

"It hurts to look at you."

"I'm sorry."

"No, please, don't be. It's not your fault." James sighed uncomfortably. "You can stay here for the night. I promise I won't behave like an asshole."

Father and son lay down on their respective beds.

"Can I say something?" Harry asked.

"Yes, sure."

"You don't have a scar...," Harry said, staring at James intently. 

With Harry's eyes watching his every move, James felt like a rat lab. 

"Actually, I do. It's only a small scratch on my right shoulder. It's nothing, really," James said. "Go to sleep, Harry."

The silence fell upon the room. There were many things Harry wished to ask James, but his father wasn't ready to answer any of them. Maybe he never would be. Harry was worried about his father. He had heard a conversation between Dumbledore and Remus that had scared him. According to the Headmaster, the fact that James had gotten out of Voldemort's wand was a terrible sign. James would never be the same as he once was not only because of the tragedies of his life, but for a much darker reason.

_'I'm afraid that a piece of James' soul got trapped on Voldemort's wand that day. He didn't die but a part of him did.' Harry had heard Dumbledore saying. _'There are no records like his case. No one has ever survived a killing curse before. Not that we know of. Only Harry, but Harry is fine, which is a mystery. And James… I'm afraid that… I'm afraid that now that he's gotten his memory back, he'll become darker. He said to me that he's been feeling very empty ever since he had taken the potion. That worries me.'__

_'What are you saying, Headmaster?'_

_'I don't know, Remus. But I think, and this is only rumination of an old man, I think that without a part of his soul, James will die. And I think that by administrating the memory potion on him we might have accelerated the process. If we don't kill Voldemort soon and destroy his wand, James won't survive. The wand will claim the rest of his soul. James had only survived till now because he had been living very far away from here.'_

_'Far away from the wand, you mean.'_

_'Not only that but Voldemort wasn't as strong as he is now. It's a mystery how James survived or Harry for that matter. We may never know the real reasons. All I know is that we have to stop Voldemort quickly or I don't know what will happen to James.'_

_'How do you know about all this, Headmaster?'_

_''There's a book about it. Of course, all that's in it are only theories. Like I said before, there are no records like Harry's and James' case.'_

_'James is… empty, then?'_

_'No. But a part of him is and we must hurry.'_

After that day, Harry had been near his father all the time, even though James didn't know about it. He felt hurt by his father's distance but he knew now that it wasn't James' fault entirely. James was only… empty. And lost. But wasn't everybody? Anyway, his father was the main reason why he had to kill Voldemort as soon as possible. 

Harry had spent the entire month learning battle skills with Snape, Remus and Erin. All of his anger had been focused on his practices and it made his magic level increase. Snape was impressed with Harry's increased skill both with the wand and without it. He was actually being nice to him; well, as nice as Snape could be. It was probably because of Erin, who was a very loving wife. She had softened Snape's heart a little. 

And then there was Draco… Harry sighed. They hadn't talked to each other for a month now. Draco's dream link had always been closed to Harry. No matter how hard he had tried to enter Draco's head, he hadn't succeeded yet. It was just like Draco to shut him out on purpose. Harry was worried sick about him but there wasn't anything he could do at the moment but wait. Tomorrow was his birthday. Who knows? Maybe he would receive some good news for a change…

                                                           --------------

"Who would have thought that my link with Harry Potter would actually turn out to be good for something?" Voldemort hissed to Wormtail. 

"Indeed, My Lord," said Wormtail with his annoying voice. "My Lord… if I may say so… Why is it a good thing? I mean, last year you discovered that this link was a really bad thing. It means that you can't kill Potter because if you do, it'll kill _you_, Sir."

Voldemort rolled his eyes. He was glad that Lestrange was coming back that day because the rat was getting on his nerves. He couldn't think of anyone more pathetic, foolish and slow-witted than Wormtail. Perhaps Goyle and Crabbe were dumber, but Goyle's child was turning out to be quite a surprise. He and the Malfoy child had achieved the best grades at the Death Eater's camp so far. 

"My Lord? Err… Sir?" Voldemort heard Wormtail calling him. 

Voldemort glared at Wormtail, who cowered in fear. 

"What I mean, my brainless minion, is that with the proper incantation, I'm able to know what the brat feels. That was how I found out two things that might be of use to me. One, that Harry Potter is in love with the Malfoy child." Voldemort explained and Wormtail squeaked. "And two is that James Potter is still alive, but not for too long." 

"WHAT?" Wormtail squeaked even more at the news. 

"Oh, don't worry. James Potter is worse than dead. I don't know why he didn't die that day, but the fact remains that if Potter junior is right in his assumptions then his father won't be alive for much longer. My wand will claim his soul." The hideous man stroked his wand gently. "Oh, yes. I can almost feel its desire for the rest of James Potter's soul. It won't be long…"

Wormtail breathed normally again. He didn't want to face James Potter. He got chills just thinking of what his old friend – whom he betrayed – would do to him if they ever met again. He hoped that his Master was right.

"M-my Lord," Wormtail started carefully, "H-how are you going to kill Harry Potter without killing yourself?"

"With the Green Flame." Voldemort stroked Nagini, his Basilisk. 

"A-and w-what is it, My L-Lord?"

"The books say it's a myth, Wormtail, the most powerful weapon in the world, that once it is released nothing can stop it. Not even Harry Potter and his damn luck. They say it's a beautiful flame that never fades away. It can heal but it also can destroy. Can you imagine what I can do if I have this weapon? I can rule the world!" Voldemort's red eyes sparkled with evilness. 

"A-and w-where can suck a p-powerful device be found?" 

"That's the problem, Wormtail. No one knows. The ancients believed that the Flame was just a beautiful myth. But there are at least four books which say that the Flame exists for real. I'll have it. It's just a matter of time. Lestrange will find it for me, I'm sure of it."

Wormtail was jealous about the Dark Lord's preference for Lestrange, but he never complained. He knew Lord Voldemort wouldn't like it if he did. 

"Soon Lestrange and Lucius will be back from their encounter with the giants and then we will set our next steps. Get in touch with Ethan as well. I'll need him for a nasty mission. Maybe I'll let you join it this time. He'll hunt down Narcissa Malfoy, the turncoat. I believe she's with an old friend of yours named Sirius Black."

Wormtail nodded. "Yes, my Lord. He used to be my acquaintance. I'd framed him in the past." He smiled evilly.  "He's wanted by the Ministry. He's considered a murderer thanks to me!"

"You're not so useless, Wormtail. Sometimes you get things right. Now, get in touch with the camp and bring me the young Malfoy. Then you can bring me Gregory Goyle, too. Make sure that they don't see each other."

Wormtail approached Lord Voldemort. "I-I think that Draco Malfoy likes Harry Potter as well, Sir."

Voldemort hissed something to Nagini and the Basilisk left the room. 

"I could finish him off for you, My Lord," Wormtail suggested venomously. 

"Do not touch the child, Wormtail or you will regret it. Draco can be a weapon against Potter. A very interesting weapon indeed. Now, bring him to me. I want to have a word with him." Noticing that Wormtail hadn't moved yet, Voldemort raised his wand and pointed at him. "What are you waiting for?"

At a glance, Wormtail vanished from the room.

                                                             --------------

Draco had just finished throwing an unforgivable curse on a future Death Eater when he heard one of Voldemort's slaves calling him. To his disgust, it was Wormtail, the rat, and that visit couldn't be a good sign. 

That month had been the worst of Draco's life. His father had sent him to that awful place where he had to cohabit with the most evil teenagers on earth. The motto followed there was that only the strong survived. In order to do just that, Draco played the game very well, even if that meant that his soul had to die a little every day. 

He hated everything about that place. At Death Eaters' camp, he learned quickly that he should always be prepared for the worst. In order to succeed, he had to be as nasty as his roommates and so far he was doing a great job. But at the end of the day, he always hated himself. Not that he pitied any of the guys that he had duelled with. One of them had tried to take him by force once. No, he didn't pity any of them. But he did worry that he might turn out to be evil just like them. 

He tried not to think about Harry but sometimes he just couldn't help it. At least he had closed the link they had acquired when Erin had cast the Daydream Connection spell on Harry so he could save Draco from the Cruciatus curse. He missed his boyfriend a lot. He wished there was a way to get in touch with him. 

He sighed and walked towards Wormtail. As he passed by, some guys stared at him with desire. He didn't even pay attention to them. Everybody knew that Draco wasn't interested in any of them. He had made it very clear that he was there only to learn Dark Magic and that was all. The problem was that Draco had very delicate features and he turned more beautiful by the day. He was a few inches taller than before, and his hair had grown a little, constantly covering his eyes and making him very attractive to both genders. Not only that, but he was also part Veela, which made him irresistible. But no matter how much the guys of the camp tried to call his attention, he was never interested in fooling around. He loved Harry and no one else. 

"What do you want?" he asked Wormtail.

"Lord Voldemort wants to speak with you, insolent boy."

Draco smirked, "Really? Well, tell him I'm busy. I have a Killing curse lesson in about ten minutes and I don't want to miss it."

Wormtail fumed. "You have to come with me! Lord Voldemort is expecting you. And when he says sit, you have to sit. When he says jump, you have to jump. When he orders you to jump off a cliff, it's exactly what you have to do. Get it, Malfoy?"

"No, not really. I'm not his dog."

Wormtail raised his wand at Draco. "Now listen to me, you piece of shit!"

"NO! You listen to me! _Expelliarmus_!" Draco shouted, making Wormtail's wand fly to his hand. 

Wormtail opened his eyes widely at the sight of that. He was too astonished to say anything. Draco had not only disarmed him, but he had done it without using a wand. How was that possible? Most wizards find it very hard to control their magic without the use of a wand. Draco didn't seem to have that problem though. 

"How did you..."

"Cool trick, huh?" Draco sneered. "You would be surprised at how much I've learned this month. But if our Master wants me so much, I guess I should see him. Take me to him, worm."

                                                           -------------

As his conference with Voldemort ended, Draco sighed in relief. He loathed Voldemort with all his guts and it was hard to share the same room with the creature. Voldemort was not a nice thing to look at. His face reminded most of a serpent. He didn't have eyelashes and his skin was cold and slimy. There were rumours that Voldemort was planning to get a new body but no one knew exactly how he would do that. Draco prayed that the idea had nothing to do with Harry. 

Voldemort hadn't said anything new to him. He'd just praised Draco for his excellent performance on the Dark Wizard Class' training.  Then he had sent him home to spend his birthday with his father, which was the most unusual thing for him. For one thing, his father didn't care about his birthday. For another, Voldemort didn't have a heart. Then why did he let Draco go? He was probably up to something.    

When Draco arrived at the Manor, he almost shed tears of relief. Not that he liked the house, he just hated the camp more and he was happy to be out of there. He went to his room to take a long bubble bath in his tub and found his father waiting for him. 

"Draco. How lovely to see you. I hope you're having fun at the camp," Lucius smirked.

Draco smiled bitterly. "I'm having the time of my life."

"Good. Your fiancée keeps asking about you, but Lord Voldemort has forbidden her to see you. The poor girl is desolate."

Pansy, the bitch, was also Voldemort's granddaughter. Draco had almost forgotten about her. She still thought of them as a couple. She didn't know however that Draco had decided to break up with her for good because he wanted to be with Harry. He would have to deal with her later.

"Please, tell me she's not here."

"She's not here, Draco. She wanted to, but I sent her home. I knew you wouldn't like to see her."

His father was being nice to him. That wasn't a good sign.

"What do you want? Why am I here?"

"Tomorrow is your birthday. I thought you'd want to celebrate with me."

Draco almost laughed. "Yeah, right."

"Honestly, Draco. Not everything I do has an ulterior motive. I know how hard those trainings can be. I've been there before. I just thought you needed a rest, that was all. I care about your welfare."

Draco wished that were true. "Cut the bullshit. What do you want?"

"I want nothing. Lord Voldemort wants you to be here and I have no idea why."

"Now we're talking. And what are you doing in my room?"

"No particular reason. I just wanted to have a look at you." Lucius got closer to him and stroked his face slightly. "You've grown and your hair is longer. You look so much like me. I just hope you don't make the same mistakes I once did."

"I won't. That's a promise."

Lucius nodded, his eyes flickering. Suddenly, Draco remembered why he had returned home in the first place. He wanted to help his father. He was convinced that Lucius wasn't as bad as he appeared to be and that he could save him. Since Lucius had sent him to the camp, he'd forgotten about his previous plans. But now that he was back at home, he was willing to put them into practice. 

"Father, do you remember what it was like when you were younger?"

Lucius stared at him intently. "What's your point, Draco?"

"You were in love once, right? Have you ever thought what would be like, if things had worked out between you and… him? I mean, what if he hadn't died and…"

Lucius paled. "You don't know what you're talking about. You have no idea, Draco. Don't go there because…"

"I know more than you think. You loved James Potter, didn't you? What went wrong?"

Lucius felt aghast by his son's insolence. "How dare you ask me those things?"

"Snape told me about your father and the things he used to do to you. I'm really sorry, dad. I didn't know. I knew he was a cruel man, but I never knew how much. Snape said that grandfather used to whip you without any mercy when you did something wrong. Is it true?" Draco asked, ignoring Lucius outrage. "Grandfather is dead! You don't have to live under his sick expectations anymore! Why can't you join the Order? I know you don't like Voldemort!"

"Shut up, Draco. Just SHUT UP! You don't know what you're talking about."

"It's not too late for you!"

"Yes, it is!" Lucius' breathing quickened. "Listen to me, Draco, and listen very carefully because this is the only time I'll tell you this. Don't try to save me. You won't succeed. If you still think that the Order of Phoenix is the answer to all the worlds' problems, I'm very sorry for you, because they are not! Voldemort will crush them all! Do you want to be on the losing side? Do you want to be killed?" Lucius shouted. "Get this once and for all, Draco. Love is a sham! Potter was a fake! He was just a bastard. And Harry Potter will break your heart, because that's what Potters do. Do you really think that Harry Potter will choose to be with you? He'll leave you for the first red-haired woman that comes along. The Weasley girl seemed fond of him. Just wait and see."

"You're lying. Harry is not like that!"

Lucius sighed, trying to regain his cool posture. "Forget about Harry Potter, Draco. You have a new life now, a new purpose. Harry Potter is not a part of it. And if you insist in this madness, I'll personally take care of him."

Lucius slammed the door shut on his way out. 

                                                           --------------

"Lucius," hissed Voldemort. 

"My Lord." Lucius bowed in front of him and kissed the hem of his robes. "What can I do for you?"

Voldemort sat down on the couch in the Malfoy Manor's living room and stared at Lucius. 

"I came here to congratulate you. Your son is showing remarkable skills in the Dark Arts."

Lucius grinned. "I knew he would please you, My Lord."

Voldemort smiled in a horrible way. "So far, he's the only one able to do magic without the use of a wand. That's a very rare gift, and a very dangerous one. I hope you can control him, Lucius. Draco has to be on our side."

Lucius' blood ran cold. "He is, My Lord."

"I hope so, because I wouldn't like to wipe the Malfoys off the face of the earth. Your father was a great man, Lucius, one of the best of my old crew. In fact, he's responsible for one of the cruellest plans on earth.  A project that I'm putting on practice again."

"May I ask what it is?" 

"Wormtail!" Voldemort shouted and Wormtail quickly ran to his Master's side. "Show Lucius the photographs of the Muggles' Concentration Camp."

Wormtail handled them to Lucius and Voldemort anticipated the pleasure of seeing the true face of Lucius Malfoy. He knew Lucius was just a coward – a useful coward, but a coward nevertheless. It was a well-known fact that Lucius didn't have the same strength of the old Archibald Malfoy. Sure he knew how to play the game very well but that was all. Deep down, if Lucius had a chance, he'd jump the ship and abandon the captain without a second thought. 

He waited for Lucius reaction and wasn't disappointed when he saw Lucius shocked face. 

"What's that?" Lucius asked feebly. 

"That, my dear Lucius, is your father's big creation: zombies. And the raw material to that is the Muggles. Isn't it brilliant?" Voldemort laughed cruelly, followed by the arse licker Wormtail. "I do hope you will help me with it. Your father would appreciate that his son continued his master piece." 

As he stared at the photos of the rotten bodies and faces, Lucius felt sick to his stomach but he tried hard not to show just how disturbed he was by those pictures. 

"We can turn Muggles against themselves. Ah, the irony of it…" Voldemort seemed delighted by it. "Anyway, I have another mission for you, Lucius. For now at least. I found out that James Potter is alive."

All the pictures slipped through Lucius' hand and fell to the floor. 

"What?" Lucius whispered. 

"Wormtail, get the pictures," Voldemort ordered, finding Lucius' reaction very interesting. "James Potter is alive. He survived the killing curse somehow. But he will die. He's not strong enough. You see, my wand has a part of his soul and soon it'll claim the rest of it. I'm planning to kidnap Potter senior and I need you keep him here for me. It won't be for long, don't worry. The reason I ask this is because my fortress is not done yet and the dungeons of your house are quite something. You don't seem so pleased, Lucius. Is there a problem?" Voldemort asked coldly. 

"No, of course not, my Lord!" Lucius said, hiding his shaking hands. "How are you going to kidnap James Potter?"

"Oh, just leave that to me, Lucius." Voldemort stood up to leave. "Don't screw up, Lucius."

"What about Draco? Is he involved in the plan? Is that why he's here?"

"No. I decided to give Draco the month off."

Voldemort omitted his true reasons for doing that. The fact was that Draco's future was unclear to Voldemort's seers. They didn't know if Draco would turn to the Order's side or not. All they knew was that Draco Malfoy was destined to do something great, for better or worse. Draco had proved to be powerful and Voldemort didn't want him to develop his power to its full potential. He had to keep Draco under strict vigilance. But Lucius didn't have to know that.

                                                           ---------------------

Draco lay on his bed, thankful that he didn't have to put up with Voldemort at dinner. His presence wasn't necessary, which made Draco very curious about the subject of the conversation. He'd tried to listen behind the door, but his father put a silence spell on the room and he hadn't been able to hear a thing. 

He took out Harry's picture from his favourite book and stared at it, wishing that Harry was there with him. He quickly hid it the moment he saw Lucius bursting into his room like a mad man. 

"YOU! You knew!" Lucius accused him.

"Knew what?"

"About James Potter! You knew that he was alive! Harry Potter must have said something to you!"

Draco maintained a calm facade but he was a wreck inside. "How do you know?"

"Voldemort's just told!" Lucius was very disturbed. "Is it true? Is he alive?"

"I have no idea."

Lucius quickly shortened the space between them and shook Draco violently. "Don't lie to me!"

"But I really don't know! There were rumours about it when I left Hogwarts, but I never saw him!"

Lucius set Draco loose. "Voldemort wants me to _host_ him."

"What does that mean?"

"Don't be dense, Draco! He'll kidnap James and bring him here!"

"Fuck. But… How is he going to do that? James is probably very well protected, just like Harry."

"I don't know. He didn't want to say."

Draco noticed that his father was starting to breath with difficulty and he worried. 

"Dad, are you ok?"

"This… this is a bloody disaster, Draco," Lucius left Draco's room and went to his own. 

Draco followed Lucius and helped him lie down on the bed. 

"Do you want me to get your medication?" Draco asked.

"No." Lucius gripped Draco's hand until his breathing normalized. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

Lucius let go of his son's hand and asked him to leave. Draco didn't go away though. 

"What if it gets worse?"

"It won't, Draco. Just get out!"

"No! If you have another crisis then who will get your nebulizer? I'm staying right here!"

"Isn't it ironic that I have to use a Muggle devise? Life is so damn hilarious sometimes."

Draco knew his father was weak, and that by the morning he would be back to his nasty self, so he decided to take advantage of that fact.

"Father, maybe now you and James can talk things over."

Lucius smiled bitterly. "You don't get it, do you, Draco? I don't give a fuck about Potter. I never did."

"Yeah, right. Just like I didn't give a fuck about Harry."

"You're going to annoy me all night, aren't you?"

"Maybe. You were the one who taught me to be that way. What's your goal, father? I know you're not a murderer like Cyrus Lestrange or Ethan Clamch. What do you want to achieve by staying on Voldemort's side?"

"That is a dumb question, Draco. I think Potter's passed his stupidity on to you. I want power. I want to be the next Minister of Magic. Or maybe the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Dumbledore is too old to be in the position."

"Dumbledore is a good Headmaster."

"Oh, please. Spare me! Unless you want me to have another asthma attack…"

"No, of course not! I'm just saying that…"

"Dumbledore… He's just an opportunist. A very clever opportunist though. He's just using Potter."

"I don't believe that."

"Then you're being naïve, Draco, and I didn't teach you to be that way."

"This is probably the first time we've actually talked in a civilized manner."

"Don't get use to it." Lucius closed his eyes. "You can go, Draco. Is it midnight yet?"

"No."

"Happy birthday anyway. Take the floo powder and go."

Draco stared at him with curiosity. "Go where?"

"Hogwarts."

Draco's jaw fell open. "Why?"

"It's my birthday present to you. Go see Potter."

"But…"

"Don't question me, Draco."

"It doesn't make any sense. What's behind this sudden kindness?"

"Maybe I just want you to leave me alone."

"Do you trust me not to tell them what I know?"

"No, I don't. You can think whatever you want. I don't bloody care."

"Dad…"

"Just go Draco! Fireplace number 5, third floor. Go and see if James Potter is really there. And tell Dumbledore that… tell him that your grandfather's big project has been put into practice. Don't ask me what it is. Just tell him that. He'll know what I'm talking about."

"I… I don't want to leave you here alone."

Lucius smiled feebly. "Who's the father here?"

Draco smiled back. "All right, I'll go. But not now. I'll go there tomorrow. Harry is probably asleep anyway."

"If I wasn't so tired I would hex you, Draco."

"No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't have the courage to do it."

"Don't be so sure. Don't trust me, Draco. I know you have this hope that I'll turn good someday but I won't."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you."

"You're stubborn, I give you that." Without opening his eyes, Lucius went on, "Since you're going to stay here, you might as well sleep on the bed."

Draco opened his eyes wide. "Next to you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't question me, Draco. You know I don't like it."

"But…"

Draco didn't remember the last time his father had been tender to him. Maybe when he was five and had been very sick. Lucius had spent the day taking care of him. 

"If you want to go back to your room, it's fine by me."

Draco held the urge to stick out his tongue at him. 

"I'll stay," Draco said, smiling. 

"All right. But I'm warning you. If you snore, I'll kick you out."

A/N: Please, review!


	2. Kisses in the Moonlight

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Title: TAKE ME HOME (2/?)

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Author: blanchemalfoy

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Rating: R

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Pairings: **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

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Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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Warning: This is SLASH (male/male pairing). It's kind of sad that this has to be a warning if you think about it.

A/N: Thanks to my beta readers: **Lucinda K.** and **TigerBlak**, and to the reviewers **Queen of** **Vegetasei**; **Sophie Black; Chaircta; Belle; lark57; Intangible Lollipop; dragons lover; Purple*Passion; Sarah; Hyperbole; Patricia; Diamond Ice; herktownhick; Marie McBride; The Insane Floo pot; CLS; Draco Malfoy-N-Harry Potter; Formica; Mayaz Felton; Myr; Toyo Malloy; sarah; SDD3304!**

Chap. 2 – **KISSES IN THE MOONLIGHT **

31st of July. 

It was a hot summer day and Harry was lying by the lake, hiding himself from the sun under a very old, big and gnarled tree. So far, his sixteenth birthday was becoming the worst day of his life. His father hadn't even remembered it. Harry had barely seen him that day. It was like James was avoiding him on purpose. The only one who had greeted Harry was Hagrid with one of his famous birthday cakes. 

He could understand why the professors hadn't said a word to him. A spy had discovered that the Dark Lord would try a massive attack on a Muggle village and they were running out of time trying to find out more about it. But what about his friends? They hadn't even sent him a card! It just wasn't like them to forget about his birthday. 

With a sigh, he stared at the sky above him. Suddenly, Padfoot blocked his view and started licking him. Harry couldn't help but laugh. 

"Padfoot! Stop it. It's kind of gross that my godfather licks my face!"

Padfoot barked as if he was trying to talk to Harry. Then he looked around and changed himself into Sirius Black. 

"Happy birthday, Harry!" Sirius hugged his godson.

"Thanks, Sirius. You and Hagrid are the only ones who remembered."

"Hmm... I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. I have a present to you, but it's in the castle. Come on, let's go inside."

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise, of course."

Sirius changed into Padfoot again and Harry followed him to the castle. Finally, winding their way through the corridors of Hogwarts, Padfoot stopped next to a locked door and barked. Harry looked at him amused and opened the door. The room was completely dark and Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Padfoot, what..."

Immediately, the lights came on brightly and a choir of surprises was heard. Harry grinned widely at the scene. Ron and Hermione were there, each holding out a package to him. Dumbledore blew a very noisy whistle, Dobby was making the last arrangements on the chocolate cake and Remus held Harry tightly. Erin was the next, followed by a very peevish Snape. Harry didn't care about Snape's bad mood that was more than expected, or Peeves sudden annoying appearance. They'd thrown him a surprise party and he couldn't be happier. Even the whole Weasley family was there.

"Happy birthday, Harry!" the crowd yelled. 

Harry had never received so many gifts and greetings in his life. The only thing that spoiled his day a little was his father's lack of emotion. James seemed even more out of place than Snape and Harry felt sad about that. But then he remembered that his father wasn't well, and that it would be too much to ask of him to just get back to living a normal life. His father loved him, even if he hadn't said it yet. It wasn't his fault, Harry muttered to himself. It was all Voldemort's fault. 

"Oh, my God, Harry! I've missed you so much!" Hermione said for the third time. 

Ron growled with jealousy and Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Honestly, you would expect him to be over that," she commented to Harry. "Ron is such a drag..."

"Hey! I'm not! Besides, if I'm a drag, then why are you dating me?" Ron asked.

"There's this saying that goes: can't live with them, can't live without them. That's exactly my case. I do love you, but sometimes you're a real pain the a..."

Ron put his hand on Hermione's lips to prevent her from saying the 'ass' word.

"It's not right for a lady to say such things, Hermione," he said, teasing her.

She pinched him. "Oh, please, don't start... I can say whatever I want. You're not the boss of me Ron, and we've long passed the phase of the feminine oppression. Women today can pretty much do or say anything they want and..." Hermione's speech was cut short by Ron's kiss. "You know, contrary to what people – or men for that matter – think, not everything can be solved with a kiss and..." another kiss was shared between them.

Harry rolled his eyes. He had missed that arguing between Ron and Hermione. His friends had only written to each other over that month. Now that they were dating, Mrs. Weasley had talked to Mrs. Granger and they thought it wasn't proper for Hermione to sleep over at the Burrow. Ron was disappointed by that decision and after much talking, he'd convinced them that there was nothing wrong with his girlfriend spending a few days at his house. She would sleep with Ginny. Problem solved. It hadn't been that easy though, but eventually Mrs. Weasley had agreed with the whole thing. After Harry's party, Hermione would go with the Weasleys to spend the rest of the summer at the Burrow.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Harry? It'll be fun!" Ron asked. 

"Sorry, Ron, but I have to stay. I'm having some extra-classes and besides, I don't want to leave my dad."

"Too bad, Harry, but I understand. I'll have to put up with Hermione then. She doesn't even like to play Quidditch..." Ron pretended to complain about her and she slapped his arm. "Ouch. I was only joking, pumpkin juice."

"Don't call me that! It's degrading! And I'll play Quidditch with you if you want to."

"You don't even know how to mount a broom, Herm. Last time you tried it was such a disaster."

Hermione made a face and Ron kissed her tenderly.

"I love your clumsy way with a broom," Ron whispered to her.

"Brooms were always an instrument of oppression for women and..."

Hermione kept talking and Ron kept rolling his eyes and constantly kissing her. All that kissing and cuddling made him remember about Draco. Harry missed Draco so much that it ached. He wished he could go to Malfoy Manor, just to see what was going on there, but it was too risky. Even Dobby didn't want to risk it. Dobby had refused to help Harry the last time he'd gone to the Manor saying that it was way too dangerous. Harry hadn't listened to the warnings, as usual. But that was before. He didn't even know if Draco was at the Manor. 

"Hey, Harry, my man!" George patted Harry on the back. "Did you like our prankster's kit? We've made it especially for you, right Fred?"

"Oh, yes. It's our best work, Harry. I suggest that you try it when classes get started again."

"It's great, thanks." Harry smiled.

"You know, thanks to you we'll be able to open our shop." George said. "That money you gave us will help us a lot, Harry."

"We've already rented a place at Hogsmead. You must visit us when it's done."

"And we promise that we'll pay every galleon back to you, Harry."

"No, honestly, you don't have to. That money was a gift." Harry's face reddened. "What's the name of the shop?"

"What do you think? It'll be called Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes!" Fred said out loud.

They laughed hard as they remembered that that was the name Mrs. Weasley have given them when she had found out about their jokes and tricks.

"No, seriously, tell me the real name." Harry said after he regained his breath. 

Fred and George looked at him stunned and said at the same time, "That is the real name."

"Oh. Well, it's good! Really...," Harry tried to fix it.

"No, it's not," Fred said.

"You didn't like it," George replied.

"I thought it was a good name. You know, like a personal joke..."

"Yeah, so did I..."

"You'll have to think of something else, George."

"Hey, guys, that name is fine."

But they weren't listening to Harry anymore. They were too busy with their own discussion about the new name of their joke shop. While everyone in the room kept talking and laughing, Harry took the opportunity to sneak out. He didn't go too far though.

"Hey, Harry, wait!"

Harry turned around and saw Ginny Weasley walking towards him. He hadn't paid much attention to her the previous year, but now that he was actually looking at her, he realised how beautiful she was. Her long red hair was shining brightly under the sun and her body had developed too. His eyes went straight to her breasts, even though he tried hard not to do that. He looked at her eyes and they were sparkling with innocence and happiness. Happiness to be with him. 

He shook his head and commanded himself to stop looking at her as if he was interested. He wasn't. He loved Draco, for Merlin's sake. What was he thinking? Damn testosterone! 

"Hi, Ginny."

"Hi." Her face was as red as the colour of her hair. She looked adorable like that. "Are you enjoying your party?"

"Yes, it's great. I've never had a surprise party before. I've never had a party, actually."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Don't worry about it. That doesn't bother me anymore."

While they talked, James watched them through the open window with sad but also happy eyes. He felt twinges of dejavu as he watched the scene. He and Lily stood in that same spot one day and it was also the place where they had shared their fist kiss.

"Lovely scene isn't it?" said Severus bitterly. "How curious it is that the past has the annoying habit of repeating itself over and over again. Ginny Weasley is not like Lily though. Hermione Granger is more like her. The Weasley girl is too innocent. Lily was never innocent."

James clutched his fists. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Severus grimaced. "Oh, but I do know, _James_. We both know that she wasn't innocent at all."

"Shut up! You knew nothing about her!"

"I knew everything about her! Or did you forget that she was a Death Eater as well?"

James didn't think twice before going for Severus' throat. Both men rolled on the floor punching and kicking each other like they were still on their sixth year at Hogwarts. When Remus saw that, he instantly remembered the past. That scene had been very common in the corridors of the castle in the past. 

He and Sirius immediately separated them. James looked murderous and so did Severus. Everyone in the room was shocked by the scene. Erin stared at her husband disappointedly and she left the room without waiting for her husband. Severus, already regretting the whole thing, went after her to apologise for his childish behaviour. 

"You shouldn't let him get under your skin like that!" Remus said to James.

"You're hurt, James," Sirius pointed out.

"Well, I'm here so I might as well have a look at it." said Madam Pomfrey with a disagreeable face.

James' eyes fell upon Harry, who was staring at him intently. He began to perspire. He wished Harry hadn't heard what Snape had said about Lily. Harry shouldn't know about that, ever. He would do anything to protect Harry from the truth.

"What happened?" Harry asked his father.

"Nothing, Harry," James sounded harsh even though he didn't intend to.

"Nothing? What was that all about? Why did you fight?"

"Why do you think, Harry?" Sirius said, "You know how nasty and cruel Snape can be. Your father was only defending himself."

"Yeah, but... He's been acting so nice lately. Why the sudden...?"

"Nice? NICE?" James snapped. "There's nothing nice about that man, Harry! He's an evil bastard who thinks he's better than everyone else in the world. I noticed that you and he are very close. As your father, I forbid you to speak to him! I don't want you alone with him!"

"What?" Harry stared at his father as if he was facing a lunatic.

"You heard me! I want to be next to you when you meet him! I don't want you to be alone with him."

"No, I won't do that. It's insane."

"He's a Death Eater, Harry!" James yelled.

"He was! He's not anymore! He's on our side now." 

Harry couldn't believe that he was defending Snape of all people, but he couldn't help it. He was tired of his father's weird behaviour, even if there was a motive to that. He knew he wasn't being rational but it was his birthday; his father hadn't said a word to him so far and now he felt like he had the right to tell Harry what to do.

"You'll do what I tell you, Harry!" James caught Harry's arms and squeezed.

Everybody felt even more shocked by that.

"JAMES!" Dumbledore's voice boomed through the room like thunder.

Immediately, James let go of Harry and blinked. He stared at the people around him as if seeing them for the first time. He looked so lost that everyone in the room felt pity for his confused state of mind. Everyone but Harry.

"You can't tell me what to do. And you won't," shouted Harry before running out of the room. 

Sirius stared at James with a sad expression. James didn't react to Harry's outburst. He couldn't. He had hurt his son for the second time. Why did he do that? It wasn't like him to be violent. His head hurt, too, and he just wished he could go back to his hospital bed. 

"Sirius, Remus, help James to go back to the infirmary. Poppy, please go with them," Dumbledore ordered. "I don't think James is feeling well."

"Sir, let me go after Harry first," Sirius asked.

"I think Harry needs to be alone for a while," Dumbledore stated. "But I won't make any objections if Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley decide to find him. I'm sure Harry needs someone his own age to comfort him right now. Later, Sirius, you can go talk to him."

Hermione and Ron left the room in search of Harry and Sirius and Remus led a very confused James to the Hospital Wing.

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Later that day, Sirius looked for Harry everywhere but didn't find him. He was worried about him but Hermione and Ron had said that Harry was fine – as fine as he could be – and he wanted to be left alone for a while. With that in mind, he went looking for Remus at his office. James was sleeping peacefully in the Hospital Wing and that was the first opportunity he had had to actually talk to Remus alone. 

"Remus," he called, knocking on the office's door. 

"Come on in, Sirius. The door is not locked."

Sirius turned the doorknob and entered the dark room lit by candlelight. His friend was sitting at his table, reading a book quietly. He smiled. Remus'd always liked to read. He'd made fun of it in the past and for that he regretted. His relationship with Remus ever since he'd escaped from Azkaban was tenuous at best. Sirius never knew what to say to him. Remus always looked distant and cold, even though his eyes told Sirius the opposite. It was a very sad thought but the fact was that Sirius didn't know his friend as he once did.

"What are you reading?" Sirius asked, uneasy.

Remus didn't look up. He was too busy trying to hide his shaking hands and his anxiety at having Sirius so close to him after so long. No one knew about it, but Remus had been in love with Sirius from a very young age. After Sirius' imprisonment, he thought he had forgotten all about it, but when he saw him again at the Shack, he realised that he hadn't got over that feeling yet. It was a feeling that consumed his soul. And the worst part was that he couldn't do anything about it because Sirius loved Narcissa Malfoy and she had given up everything to be with him. Besides, Sirius had never swung that way. 

"Nothing important."

Sirius crossed his arms and made a face. "Really? Then why don't you shut it and talk to me?"

Remus did exactly that and his eyes came across Sirius's. "What do you want?"

"I thought we were past the awkwardness, Remus."

Remus sighed, "We did. In a way. But there is still... issues... between us."

"What issues?"

"You never told me why you switched the secret keeper position with Pettigrew. Why was that?"

Sirius looked down. "Why do we have to talk about such painful subjects?"

"Because only then we'll be able to move on, Sirius. But I know why you didn't tell me."

"Then why did you ask me?"

"I want _you_ to tell me why, Sirius. Because then I want you to ask for my forgiveness," Remus said harshly. "You thought I was the traitor, didn't you? You hadn't said anything to James or Lily, but I knew you suspected me."

"What did you expect? You suspected me, too! I knew you did because after our graduation you started to look at me in a way that made me uncomfortable. You watched me very carefully like you expected me to do something stupid. After a while, you started to act weird, too. You never talked to me, you were always making excuses not to meet me."

"There was a reason for that, Sirius, but not the reason you thought."

"What was the reason then?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. We ruined our lives with our distrust for each other. And we thought we would be best friends for life. What a joke," Remus said bitterly. "But I don't... hate you. Not at all. I do care for you, Sirius, in spite of everything."

"So do I, Remus. I love you. You know that, don't you?" Sirius got closer to Remus, whose eyes flickered, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for suspecting you in the past. That was a very crazy time for all of us. Voldemort got what he wanted. He made us all mad and unhappy. But this time things will be different, Remus. We'll fight against him together. And we'll save James in the process. We owe that to him."

Remus smiled weakly. "Sure. You can count on me."

Sirius smiled and hugged him tightly. "I'm really sorry."

"I know."

Remus shut his eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. The werewolf in him breathed in Sirius' scent and almost growled in satisfaction. Both the werewolf and Remus had missed that scent. Remus pulled back before he lost control of his will. 

"I'm going back to the Hospital now," Sirius said. "Want to join me?"

"No. I have to look for an answer for James' illness."

"We all know the name of his illness. Voldemort and his damn wand!" Sirius said, enraged.

"Yes, but maybe there's a spell that will allow us to claim the missing part of James' soul."

"Do you need my help to look for it?"

"No, stay with James. I think he'll need someone to talk to when he awakes."

"Alright. We can talk later then."

With one last glance, Sirius opened the door to leave the room but Remus stopped him.

"Sirius? How is Narcissa?"

"Oh, she's fine. Sad, but fine. She's talking to a few allies for the Order. Actually, I forgot to tell Harry something that I found out about Draco..." Sirius muttered to himself. "His birthday is today, same day as Harry's. Isn't that weird?"

"You mean, Draco Malfoy?" Remus asked with curiosity.

"Yes... I guess Harry has to tell you himself, Remus."

"About what?"

"They like each other, Remus."

Remus opened his eyes wide. "You mean... like like... as..."

"As in a couple."

"Merlin!"

"It's quite a shock but after a while you get used to it," Sirius joked. "You should talk to him."

"Because I'm a queer?" Remus asked bitterly. 

"No, because he likes you and he respects you. I don't have a problem with your sexuality, Remus. I never had."

"I know." 

"By the way, do you have someone?"

"No," Remus answered quickly. "I've never had the time. It's complicated. I'm also a werewolf."

"You'll find someone, I'm sure of it."

"I don't really want to find anyone."

"You should. I'm very happy with Narcissa," Sirius winked before leaving.

Remus sat down on his chair again and sighed. It would be one hell of a year, he could feel it. He was glad that Narcissa wasn't there because he didn't think he would be able to watch them together. He needed to put an end to that feeling. Sirius didn't love him. Not in the same way as he loved Sirius. He had to forget...

"Hey, I brought your potion," Erin said, entering his office.

"Thanks Erin. How's the greasy bastard?"

She smiled. "He's fine. I left him in our bedroom facing the wall. He'll think twice before behaving like that again."

"I'm sure he will, having you to lecture him," Remus grinned at the thought of Snape staring at the wall like a child.

"His manners have improved a lot, whether you believe it or not. He's being very nice to Harry."

"Maybe he's doing it just to spite James," Remus suggested. 

"No, I don't think so, even though he likes to spite James. But he really likes Harry in his own way. And now that he's going to be a father, his heart is starting to soften," Erin smiled sweetly, placing a hand on her stomach. "It's going to be a boy."

"Really? Does he know?"

She shook her head. "Not yet, but I know he'll be delighted to hear about it."

Remus laughed. "I'll just bet he will. You know, I'm here just because you ask me to be, Erin. I hope you know what you're doing."

"You're not dangerous, Remus."

He raised an eyebrow. "I am. We've been through this before."

"Not as long as you take the potion."

"It's still a risk. Like when I was..."

She shushed him. "It's settled already. I'll make sure you take the potion."

"If you say so..."

"You should tell him how you feel, Remus," Erin said all of a sudden.

"Tell what to whom?"

"Tell Sirius that you love him."

Remus almost fell out of the chair. "NO! Never! How do you know anyway?"

"I'm a seer. I know stuff from time to time. The baby is making me more sensitive than usual."

"I can't tell Sirius, Erin. He's in love with Narcissa."

"I know. But still... The future is very vague, Remus. It hasn't been written yet in spite of what some people think. Maybe you won't be with him, maybe you will. I see someone in your life, but not as clear as I would like to. I don't know if this person will be good to you, so be careful, all right?" she said with a weird tone of voice, her eyes flickering. After a few seconds, she smiled again. "Now I need to take a nap. I'm so tired. Have you hear from Harry? Is he ok?"

"Yes. Hermione and Ron said he was all right."

"That's good to know. He's such a sweet boy."

After she was gone, Remus spent the rest of the day with his mind on the mysterious person that was destined to cross his way, for better or worse.

-----------

"AHHHHH!"

Draco landed on the kitchen floor of Hogwarts, his face and clothes full of dust. Immediately, he was surrounded by house-elves, all of them looking at him with curiosity. It wasn't every day that someone popped out of the fireplace. Actually, there were only a few people who used that fireplace to travel by floo powder and Draco had never been one of them. 

In a very bad mood, Draco stood up and tried to dust off his clothes. 

"God! I hate that crummy way of travelling! I can't wait to get my license so I can apparate."

Then he remembered that no one could apparate onto the grounds of Hogwarts, and he felt really stupid for it. One of the house-elves leaned forward to help him clean his clothes, and soon at least four of them were doing the same thing. Draco counted to ten and closed his eyes. To go back home he would make sure to use a port-key instead of floo powder. Someone would have to help him with that.

"MALFOY, SIR!" said a squeaky voice.

Draco opened his eyes and looked around. "Dobby?"

"Yes, it's me, sir. What're you doing here?" Dobby asked, standing in front of him. 

"I came here to see Harry."

"Oh, you came for his birthday. How thoughtful of you, sir."

"His birthday? Today is his birthday?"

Draco couldn't believe it. Harry's birthday was on the same day as his! What a coincidence! 

"Yes, there was a surprise party, but it's over now. Mr. Potter had a nervous break down." Then the small creature started to squeak and bang his head on the wall. "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"

Draco made him stop it. In the past, he used to find those scenes funny, but now he realised it was just cruel. How could he enjoy them before?

"Don't do that, Dobby. You're not in my house anymore!"

Dobby put his hand on his head while the world gained focus again, he said, "Oh, right. I forget about that sometimes. Freedom is such a new thing for me. I'm still learning how to be free, sir. It's stupid, I know but..."

"It's all right, Dobby." Draco said gently, taking himself by surprise. "What I want to know is what happened to Harry. You said he suffered a nervous break down. Is it true? Could you lead me to him?" Draco said anxiously. 

"No, sir, not Harry Potter. Harry Potter is fine. James Potter is the one who is ill."

"Oh."

Draco should have known that the problem was with James. After all, his father had told him about his conversation with Voldemort. 

"Is James better now?"

"Yes, sir. He's at the Hospital Wing. He's asleep."

"Good. And Harry? Where is he?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Dammit!" Draco cursed under his breath. "I want to go to his room and wait for him. Can you help me with that?"

"Yes, but there's a problem."

"What problem exactly?"

"The Headmaster asked us to keep an eye on that fireplace, sir, and let him know if someone comes out of it. I'm sorry to say, sir, but you'll have to come with me to see the Headmaster first."

Draco raked a hand through his hair. "All right. I suppose I have to. But afterwards, could I take a shower? I stink. And all of this dust... Ugh. I need a bath urgently. I can't meet Harry like this! I have a reputation to maintain."

"Ok, sir. But first, I'll lead you to the Headmaster's office."

--------------

The conversation with the Headmaster wasn't as brief as Draco thought it would be, mainly because Dumbledore wanted to know what was happening with Lucius and Voldemort. Not only that, but he had shown particular interest in the concentration camp for Muggles.

"That's not good, my boy. Not good at all." Dumbledore said, smoothing out his long white beard.

Dumbledore had also told Draco that the kitchen's fireplace had been used by one person only, many years ago. That person had been Lucius Malfoy. At first, Lucius had helped them fight Voldemort, but not for long. When Archibald Malfoy had made up his mind to join Voldemort, Lucius had become a dangerous Death Eater. 

"Your father was never a killer, even though he didn't mind if people were dying. I saw the look in his eyes after the Chamber of Secrets was closed again and back then I hadn't thought that his soul was worth saving. But now... Maybe..." Dumbledore stared deep into Draco's eyes. "What he did is very curious. He sent you here to talk to me and to see Harry Potter. He let you come so you could warn us about Voldemort's plans. What does it tell you, Draco?"

"That his soul is worth saving."

"Really? Are you sure?"

Draco looked upset. "Of course I'm sure! He wants to get out but he's afraid of Voldemort."

"I don't know, Draco. Maybe yes, maybe no. You're his son though, and you know him better than any of us. Just be careful about your father, Draco. I think Lucius is confused, especially now that James is here."

Draco's eyes opened up widely. "Did you know about them?"

"Yes, there's hardly anything I don't know about in this school. I hope that Lucius will regain his kindness. Oh, yes," he said with a smile at Draco's surprised face. "Once upon a time, Lucius was a kind boy. Life wasn't very good to him though."

"What happened? Why did he turn to Voldemort's side? Is it something to do with James?"

"Mainly, yes. He couldn't stand the fact that James was going to marry Lily. And it didn't help that James treated your father harshly. It wasn't James' fault though, Draco. They were two headstrong kids who didn't know what to do with their lives. James was scared about the whole thing, and he loved Lily very much. Your father was also engaged to be married to Narcissa... And James didn't trust Lucius. The odds were against them. Fate was against them and they didn't handle it well. But that won't happen with you and Harry."

"I hope so."

"Oh, but it won't. You both know what you want. Your father and James didn't."

"So basically, there was a big misunderstanding between them."

"Yes, you could put it that way."

Draco sunk down onto the armchair. "I have the feeling that my father is still in love with James."

"That could be good. And then again, that could be really bad. Just be careful, young Malfoy. Now you can go see Harry. The password for the Gryffindor common room is _Brave Heart*_. Such a wonderful muggle movie!" Dumbledore announced with a grin.

-------------

Draco finally made his way into the Gryffindor common room at exactly 7pm. He took the time to take a very long shower and now that he was looking good just like he'd intended to before the floo powder and the damn fireplace ruined his good appearance. 

As he went through the portrait of the Fat Lady, he was awe-struck by the view. The common room was different and much more enchanting than the Slytherin common room. For one thing, it was warm. For another, it didn't look like a lonely cave but rather a loving grandmother's living room. It was cozy and it seemed to invite you to take a nap on the fluffy couch by the fireplace. No wonder Harry liked that place so much.

He followed Dobby's directions and entered Harry's room. It was empty but he could see traces of Harry everywhere. A wet towel carelessly tossed on the floor; a portrait with all the three Musketeers laughing and waving in the picture; a vial of Harry's favourite cologne; a Quidditch guide on top of _Hogwarts, A History_ and a big poster of the England Quidditch team zooming up and down.

He took a deep breath and sensed Harry's smell in the air, flooding his lungs with tenderness but also lust. He'd missed Harry so much. He hoped he wouldn't take too long to coming back to his room. 

-------------

It was 10pm when Harry finally went back to his room. Hermione, Ron and all the other guests had long left the castle and weirdly enough, he was actually glad for it. He was in a bad mood and he wanted to be alone. But that could be difficult as he saw someone's silhouette lying on his bed. He got closer to it and grinned widely as he saw who it was. 

Draco, his Draco, was sleeping on his bed as if he was a Birthday present – the best of them all. He wondered if he was dreaming or being delusional. Maybe Draco wasn't there at all; he was only an illusion created by Harry's intense desire of seeing him. Just to make sure that he wasn't losing his mind, he poked Draco on the shoulder and nothing happened. Draco didn't move but he didn't disappear either, which was a good sign. 

Kneeling beside his bed, Harry stroked a lock of Draco's hair, which seemed longer than before and even whiter. To Harry, he looked absolutely beautiful and almost ethereal. Very carefully, he kissed his boyfriend's lips once, twice, until Draco started to reciprocate the kiss. Slowly, Draco opened his eyes and smiled.

"Am I dreaming?" he asked in a whisper. "Because if I am, please don't let anyone wake me up."

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Harry and Draco exchanged an Eskimo kiss. "Hi." 

"Hi, boy wonder. I missed you." Draco pulled Harry to the bed and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, take it easy or you're going to suffocate me," Harry joked.

"Oh, sorry." Draco pulled back just a little and grinned. "God, it's so great to see you. Did you miss me?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I've missed you! In fact, I've tried to reach you with the daydream spell so many times that I've even lost count! What happened to you? Why did you shut me out, Draco? Where were you? And how come you're here?"

"Easy, tiger. One question at a time. And honestly, Harry, I don't want to talk about bad things right now. I just want to enjoy the moment. _Carpe_ _Diem**_, you know? Let's just make out. I promise I'll tell you all that have happened to me ever since I went home."

"Hmm... I don't know..."

"Oh, come on!" Draco kissed him. "Please?"

"Did you... are you... did you receive the Dark Mark?" Harry asked with difficulty.

Draco stared deeply into his eyes and shook his head. "No, Harry, I didn't. Please, don't ask me any more questions. Just for now. I don't want to ruin this moment."

Harry sighed. "Alright. But at least tell me how you got here."

"My father helped me."

"WHAT? Lucifer himself helped you to come visit _me_? Or did he have a darker motivation?"

"No, and don't call him Lucifer! He was actually nice to me. And he let me come here."

"It's hard to believe, Draco. Nice isn't a word to describe your father."

"He was nice, believe it or not. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he knows about your father."

Harry went white. "What?"

"He knows, Harry. And so does Voldemort," Draco said carefully. 

Harry tried to free himself from Draco's arms to run after Dumbledore but Draco held him firmly.

"I've already told Dumbledore. He'll warn your godfather and the others. You don't have to worry, Harry. Your father is not in danger. Yet. The fact was that my father allowed me here so I could let Dumbledore know that James is in grave danger! I believe that my father still cares for yours. He does, Harry, but in his own way."

"I don't know, Draco."

"Let's not talk about it now. Your father is perfectly all right and..."

"He's not, Draco."

Then Harry told him about the connection between James' soul and Voldemort's wand.

"Basically, everything leads to that damn wand! If only we could destroy it," Harry said, frustrated.

Draco stroked Harry's face tenderly and sighed in defeat. "I'm so sorry, love. And I thought that our lives couldn't be more complicated... I guess I should tell you what's happened to me. Then we can obsess about it and move on to more important things. Like a good snog."

Draco's narrative was long and Harry paid attention to every little detail. He didn't like knowing that Draco was training to be a Death Eater; it didn't matter how many times Draco assured him that he would not become one. He also didn't like knowing that Draco hadn't officially broken up with Pansy and they argued about it endlessly. 

"I'll let her know, Harry, but I can't do it yet."

"As long as you don't have to play her fiancé anymore..." Harry scowled. 

"I have to be careful. For one thing, Voldemort is her grandfather – even though sometimes I can't believe it. For another, she's a vindictive bitch. I can't risk it, Harry. Not now. I still have to play by the rules although I don't like them. But so far I'm doing fine. I've learned to do magic without the help of my wand," he bragged.

Harry shrugged. "That's not much. I can do it, too."

"Hmm... Now I'm depressed. I thought that I'd finally learned something that you hadn't. What a disappointment..." Draco teased. "Well, you have to be the special one all the time... That's one of the hero's trademarks. A hero should always know how to do everything perfectly."

"Shut up!" Harry pinched him. "I'm not perfect. There are a lot of things that I can't do."

"Like what?" Draco asked, amused.

"Like... like... potions! I suck at it and you know it. But you're good in that department."

"You're right. You really suck at potions. And I'm really, really good at it," Draco boasted. 

"Arrogant prick."

"But you love me even so."

"I do."

They kissed, this time with more intensity until they were both out of breath and dazzled. 

"Happy birthday, Harry."

Harry stared at him delighted. "You know about that? I never told you the day of my birthday. Did Dobby tell you about it?"

"Yes, he did. If I had known sooner, I'd have brought you a present."

"You're the best present I've gotten today."

Draco flushed and smiled shyly.

"You look so adorable when you blush," Harry commented with a grin.

"No, I don't! I do NOT blush, Potter. That's a girl thing and I'm definitely not one."

"Tell me about it." Harry kissed Draco's lips and then his neck. His hands went down to caress him more intimately and Draco moaned. "I've missed you, Drake. Don't shut me out again. I hate to be left in the dark."

"I know, Harry, but it was necessary."

"Are you here to stay for the night?"

"Yes."

"All night?"

Draco nodded. "Do you want to hear something very weird, Harry? Today is my birthday, too."

"You're kidding!"

"I'm certainly not! Today is my birthday!"

"Oh, my God! Happy birthday!" Harry brushed their lips together. "That's such a coincidence!"

"Tell me about it," Draco teased, biting Harry's lower lip and kissing it. "Have you heard from my mother?"

"Yes, she's fine. She didn't come with Sirius today but he's here. If you want to talk to him later..."

"Maybe. I'm glad that she's all right." Draco seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Why didn't you use the same fireplace I did to get to my house last semester?"

"I didn't know about it, Drake. I asked for Dobby's help but he refused saying that it was too dangerous for me to go to your house. That was why I had to ask Zabini, the slimy git, to point me in the right direction. I wonder why Dumbledore also didn't tell me about that fireplace."

"It's weird."

"Definitely. And it's even weirder that you father has never used that fireplace! I mean, think about what he could do with it!"

"See? That's proof in his favour! He's not that bad."

"That can be put to discussion, but not now. Now I want to take off all of your clothes and make love to you."

"Sounds good to me."

And so they did. 

Harry took off Draco's clothes very slowly, savouring with his mouth and his eyes all of Draco. He gasped as he saw some wounds in Draco's back, but the blond assured him that they would heal and didn't hurt. Harry kissed them one by one as if in his kiss alone lay the power to heal the red marks. 

Draco reciprocated the gesture by placing soft kisses on the sensitive parts of Harry's body, making him go wild.

"You're so beautiful, Harry. Your eyes are even more intense than before. Is that good or bad?"

Harry didn't have an answer to that question so he captured Draco's lips with his. 

"I've dreamt about this moment for an entire month," Harry whispered against Draco's lips. "You and I, here, together again."

"So have I, Harry."

Harry smiled, enrapturing Draco completely. 

"Do you hear that, Harry?" Draco said between their kisses.

"What?"

"Music."

Harry frowned, not really hearing anything, but then he heard a very delicate sound coming from outside of his window. 

"What's it saying?" Harry asked.

"Something about kisses in the moonlight." Then, to Harry's amusement and delight, Draco sang it. "_Oh, kisses in the moonlight, sugar, that would make this night complete; there have got to be; oh, kisses in the moonlight, sugar, fly away with me._..***"

"Sounds very romantic."

"Fly away with me, Harry."

And Harry did.

They laughed, teased and loved each other all through the night. That night became one of the best anniversaries of their lives. For years to come, Draco would still remember it, especially when life seemed to become unbearable. He'd always remember that night, that magical night when they completed each other perfectly with passionate touches. He'd always remember those sweet kisses in the moonlight. 

A/N: * Brave Heart is a movie directed and started by Mel Gibson. It's so good.

** _Carpe Diem_ means something like 'enjoy the day'.

*** Kisses in the Moonlight is a very beautiful and romantic song performed by George Benson. 

Please, review!


	3. I Ain't Missing You

**Title:** TAKE ME HOME (3/?)

**Author:** blanchemalfoy

**Rating**: R

**Pairings:** **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warning:** This is SLASH (male/male pairing). 

**A/N:** Thanks to TigerBlak, my beta reader; and to all the reviewers! Thanks to those who corrected me about the meaning of Carpe diem. Since I'm Brazilian, the word for it is "aproveitar", which means enjoy in English. Of course, I'm not very good with translation, so… But thanks!!! Hope you enjoy the chapter. 

Chap. 3 – **I AIN'T MISSING YOU**

Getting a full night of sleep should have gone smoothly, but because Draco hadn't in over a month, he tossed and turned on the bed, throwing Harry out of it more than once. Finally, at three o'clock in the morning, he woke up for good and poked Harry until he was awake, too. They've talked and made love again until Draco, exhausted, fell asleep with Harry stroking his hair softly. 

At sunrise, Draco felt a delicious shiver running down his spine and as he opened his eyes slowly he realised that the sensation was caused by the cool tip of Harry's tongue on his neck. 

"You're insatiable, Mr. Potter," said Draco hoarsely.  

"I'm sixteen, Mr. Malfoy, what did you expect; that I would live like a Tibetan monk?"

"Hmm… Does that mean you've been unfaithful to me?" Draco asked with suspicion. 

For a moment, Harry was glad that Draco had his back to him so he wouldn't see him blushing like a school girl. He remembered the strange attraction he had felt for Ginny the previous day, but that didn't mean anything. It wasn't cheating. He just found her interesting to look at, that was all. 

"Of course not! I only have eyes for you, my love," he whispered, kissing Draco's shoulder. 

Draco turned to stare at Harry – his father's words haunting him – but as he saw deep into Harry's eyes, he realised that Harry was telling him the truth. Harry loved him and no one else.

"I'm so tired, Harry."

"I know."

"I could sleep forever, you know?"

Harry bent over to kiss Draco in the forehead. "I'm sorry, Draco. I wish you didn't have to go back to that place."

"Actually, I don't. Voldemort let me stay at home, which is quite unusual not to mention suspicious as hell. I don't know what he's up to, but he is up to something. That's why I have to go back home and spy. I sense that Voldemort doesn't trust me, Harry. Why did he keep me around?"

"Keep you friends close, keep your enemies even closer," Harry quoted.

Draco slapped his forehead, "Why didn't I think of that before? I'm so stupid."

"But you're a good looking stupid," Harry taunted.

Draco tickled him until he was on top of Harry. "You have a thing for good looking and stupid guys then. How intriguing. I'd expect that the Boy-Who-Lived kept his standards high."

"I do. You're my ruin."

"No, don't say that. I don't want to be your ruin."

"Then you're my salvation."

Draco pinned Harry on the bed and kissed him slowly. He stroked Harry until the boy was moaning and pleading for more; and they loved each other again.

                                                           ----------------

Harry left Draco sleeping on the bed and went to take a shower at the Gryffindor boy's bathroom near his old dormitory. It didn't even cross his mind that someone could have wanted to talk to him – like Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus or worse, James. And indeed, that was exactly what happened.

As soon as James woke up from a dreamless sleep, he went straight to Harry's bedroom so he could ask for his son's forgiveness regarding his previous nasty behaviour. James' head still ached but not with the same intensity as before, and he felt much calmer. 

He stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait trying hard to remember the password. 

"I remember you," she said. "Always sneaking out of the common room at improper hours."

James flushed, "Well, I..."

"You're a Potter. My, my! I heard the rumours but I just couldn't believe it!"

James didn't know what to say so he stayed quiet.

"What's the password?"

"I... I don't remember. Harry told me but... This is the first time I've come here. Well, not the first time since this used to be my House, but... It's been a long time. And my head is still a little fuzzy. With all of the memories coming back to me... it's making me forget stupid things like passwords."

The Fat Lady pitied him but didn't open the portrait. "I can't let you in, but perhaps I can give you some tips. Here it is: _the Gryffindors are known for having it_."

"Courage?" James suggested.

"Kind of, but no."

At that moment, Peeves, the annoying poltergeist, passed by floating over James' head and smiling like a maniac. With his sharp voice, he made fun of James' lack of memory. The Fat Lady cursed in a way that she, as a lady, had never cursed before. 

"Potty Potter daddy. Don't know yet what expects him at the other side of the portrait. A blond boy is there. Sleeping, yes, yes," Peeves smiled evilly and flew away.

"What was he talking about? I thought Harry was alone in there. Is there someone else with him? A blond boy?"

"Oh, dear... I guess I should let you enter, even though I know I'll be reprimanded for that..."

She opened the portrait and James went through it without losing any time. He wanted to see who was there with Harry since his son hadn't said a word to him about a friend coming to stay over for his birthday. In fact, James didn't remember a blond boy at the party. But as he stepped into the common room, he was assaulted by many different memories of his past and his head throbbed. He let out a cry of despair as the voices inside his head grew stronger and he knelt on the floor.

Meanwhile, Draco was awaked by desperate and disturbing shouts and quickly got off the bed. He grabbed the first things he found on the floor, and thinking that Harry was in trouble he was down the stairs in less then fifteen seconds, his wand ready for anything. 

What he saw paralysed him completely. In front of him was a troubled grown man who looked just like Harry. It didn't take him long to realise that he was looking at the one and only James Potter – also known as his father's damnation. 

He noticed that James had his eyes lost somewhere else and he wondered what he was seeing. With a sigh, Draco knelt beside him, passed James' arms around his shoulder and led him to the couch. It took a lot of effort for Draco to lay James on the couch but after a while, he succeeded. 

"Sir? Mr. Potter?" Draco asked carefully so he wouldn't scare James. "Are you all right?"

James looked at Draco, his eyes coming into focus again but his mind still far away. His hand reached forward and stroked Draco's countenance slightly. The blonde's eyes flickered at the unexpected affection. He felt hypnotised by James' blue eyes that were staring at him like he was some sort of a vision that would disappear at any moment. Draco didn't move from his spot. He let James map his face with his fingertips and put a lock of his hair behind his left ear. 

"Lucius?" 

It was then, at hearing that whispered name, that Draco realised that James wasn't seeing him at all. It was Lucius he was seeing through Draco's delicate features, which resembled Lucius' in every little detail. 

On his side, Draco was fascinated by James care with him. To him, that meant that James had cared for his father once. Maybe he still did. He should say something though, something to make James wake up from his dreamland because he was weirdly close to Draco now. 

"Sir? I'm not...," the words got stuck on his throat as James' lips moved closer to his own. 

"You haven't changed at all."

Draco had a perfect explanation to that but he didn't say a thing.

As James' lips brushed his, Draco's eyes widened and he couldn't understand why his body seemed to become petrified all of a sudden, preventing him from moving away. He closed his eyes as James kissed him slightly and pulled away instantly when he heard Harry's shocked voice shouting '_dad!_'

"I swear I have nothing to do with it," Draco defended himself as Harry got closer. 

"You seemed to be enjoying," Harry stated, crossing his arms and glaring at Draco with a not so pleasant face.

"You're father is daydreaming, Harry. What did you want me to do? I was afraid of his reaction if I pulled away. He thinks I'm Lucius. He was shouting in pain, Harry! I was just trying to help him."

Harry glanced at his father with a worried expression. James seemed to be coming out of the trance he was into quite slowly. He sighed. 

"That happens sometimes," he explained to Draco. "Dumbledore doesn't like him to be wandering around Hogwarts alone precisely because of that. He hadn't seen the common room yet. I guess the memories about this place got to him big time. And then he saw you... you must look a lot like your father when he was young."

"I do." Draco was still trying to recover from the shock when he noticed Harry was wearing nothing but a towel carefully tightened around his waist. 

And that was exactly what James noticed when he woke up entirely. 

"Harry? What are you doing wearing nothing but a towel? And who's this boy?"

This time Harry was the one paralysed with shock and Draco tried to think of something fast. James wasn't ready to hear the 'Hey daddy, this is my boyfriend' speech.   

"This boy?" Harry asked looking very angry. "You didn't seem to think of it when you kissed him!"

"What?" James looked bashful. "I didn't, did I?"

"Yes, you did. You called him Lucius."

"No, that's not true!"

"Potter...," Draco called Harry's attention.

James stared at Draco and opened his eyes wide when he realised that indeed, the boy looked like a carbon copy of Lucius Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" he whispered.

"You're right about the last name but I'm not Lucius. I'm Draco, Lucius' son."

"Oh. You're Malfoy's son? My God! You look just like him!"

"Yeah, I know. And my mother actually thought I could have been Black's son!"

"WHAT?"

"Hmm... never mind." Draco decided to change the subject quickly, "Hey, Potter, why don't you go to your room and spare us of your nudity? Go put something on, please! The vision of you wearing only a towel is making me sick. Honestly, when I said to you that I felt like watching a striptease, I was talking about Granger's striptease, not yours!"

Harry glared at Draco with a look that said 'yeah, right'. He knew that Draco wasn't serious though, and that he was just saving his ass from James' inquiring about them. 

"Like I would ever do a striptease to you of my own free will, Malfoy," Harry smirked.

Draco held in laughter. "Like I would want to watch it."

Harry went back to the bedroom, but not before glaring at Draco one more time. 

"You and my son... you're..." James started uneasily. 

Draco was still very ashamed about the whole episode with James but he tried to hide it.

"Some would say we're friends, but I wouldn't go that far," Draco drawled. "Potter and I have some sort of agreement, that's all."

"Agreement?"

"Yes."

James glanced at him with distrust. "Does this agreement allow you to wear my son's clothes?"

Draco froze and for the first time since he got out of the room he looked at what he was wearing. It was Harry's famous red sweater, which now stamped the Gryffindor's blazon in it. He held the urge to bash his head on the wall and called himself stupid over and over. 

"I had an accident on my way here and Potter landed me some clothes," he said, proud of his lie.

"What kind of accident?"

"I came through a fireplace and my clothes got all dirty. Ugh. It was so disgusting. That will teach me never to use scum's transportation again. I ruined a fine pair of dragon leather boots because of it!"

James smiled to himself. "You sound like Lucius, too. The same snobbish way. I'm surprise you're friends with my son. You're not a Gryffindor, are you?"

"God, no! I'd kill myself if I was. All that bravery rubbish. No, I'm a Slytherin and I'm proud of it."

"A Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room. I don't think that has ever happened before. You say you're not Harry's friend but he must trust you a lot if he let you enter here. In my old days I didn't allow Slytherins students near the corridors of the Gryffindor Tower. I never trusted them and I still don't."

Draco sneered, "Are you sure you're a Gryffindor?"

"Gryffindors are not stupid, Draco. Your presence here does not please me."

They stared at each other and Draco said acidly, "You weren't thinking about that when you kissed me."

"I... I didn't mean to. I still don't think I did it."

"I know. You thought I was someone else. It doesn't excuse you, though." Draco stood up to leave. "Tell Har... Potter that I went to the kitchen to get something to eat." And he left through the portrait hole. 

Harry appeared downstairs a little after Draco was gone wearing a black outfit. He looked around searching for Draco but he wasn't anywhere to be found. He glanced at his father, whose mind seemed to have wandered off again.

"Where's Malfoy?" he asked.

"He went to the kitchen." James looked up to face Harry. "Sit down, Harry. I think we need to talk."

"About?" Harry asked defensively. 

"I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I had no right to ruin your birthday like that. I'm really sorry. I guess I'm not a good father. You know I'm not well, Harry. I should have stayed at the island. I... to be honest with you I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm... lost. I keep having these headaches and they're driving me nuts."

Harry's eyes flickered. "It's Voldemort's fault not yours. None of this mess is your fault."

"Maybe I should go back to the island."

"NO! I can't believe you! I've never thought you were a coward!"

"I don't know how to act around you, Harry!"

"Well, neither do I, so I guess we'll have to learn then. I don't think you're as bad as the Dursleys," he joked. 

"Sorry about that, too. Sirius told me that they took care of you."

"Yeah, if you could call that care...." Harry sat beside James and after pondering for a while he said, "I want to help you. I don't want to lose you before I even get to know you better. But you have to try, too. You can, you know? You're Godric Gryffindor's heir! We can do this."

James smiled. "Who's the parent around here?"

"You are."

"No, I don't think so." James cuffed Harry's head. "You're much more mature than I was at your age. The man you're turning out to be, Harry... It's amazing. I'm proud of you. Your mother would have been proud of you, too."

For the first time since James had arrived at Hogwarts, he hugged his son, so tightly that Harry almost couldn't breath. But Harry didn't care. All that mattered was that his father was finally starting to care for him. 

                                                                       -----------

"Remus?"

Remus looked up and saw James standing at his office door. He always felt very emotional when he saw James. He couldn't help it. To him, it was such a miracle to see James alive. James had been his confidante in the past, the best friend a person could have ever had. 

"Hi, James. Are you ok?"

James smiled bitterly. "That question is starting to annoy me. I'm not ok, Remus, and you know it. Please, don't ask me that ever again or I'll kick you."

"Sorry. We're just worried about you, James."

"I know. Where's Sirius?"

"Someone told him that Draco Malfoy is here and he went to talk to him."

"What for?"

"Sirius has been living with Narcissa Malfoy, Draco's mother. Didn't he tell you?"

"No. I mean, he told me he was living with someone but I didn't know who she was."

"Now you know."

James sat in front of Remus and tapped his fingertips on his knees. 

"What's up with Harry and Draco Malfoy?" he asked afraid of the answer.

Remus frowned. "I don't know. Why are you asking?"

"He was at the Gryffindor common room and he was wearing Harry's clothes."

"Really?" Remus looked truthfully surprised. 

"Are they, you know... l-lovers?" James asked with difficulty, the mere thought of it sending chills down his spine. 

"Why don't you ask him?" Because Remus honestly didn't know about it.

"I thought about it but at the last minute I just couldn't do it. The idea disturbs me a lot," Remus looked hurt by the comment and James added, "Not because Harry likes another boy, Remus, but because this boy may be a Malfoy. I don't like the idea, Remus. A Malfoy, for Merlin's sake! Our families have been enemies for generations. Everyone knows that one shouldn't trust a Malfoy not even if his life depended on it. Do you know this Draco Malfoy well?"

"I've taught him DADA. He was... a difficult kid to handle. Very snobbish and conceited."

"Just like Lucius."

"Yes. He did remind me of Lucius at the time. A lot actually. All I know about him now is that he's a spy for the Order and he came here to warn us about Voldemort's latest plans. He's changed, even though I didn't believe it at first. He's turning out to be a very brave young man. I think Harry trusts him."

"Do you think he loves him?"

"I don't know, James. I've never noticed it. To be honest with you, I've never seen them together."

"Then how do you know that Harry trusts him?"

"Because Harry told me, but that was all he told me. Look, why don't you talk to Sirius? He's closer to Harry."

"I will." James looked down. "What happened to Lucius?"

"He's the same old bastard as he used to be."

"And his son is a spy for the Order. Tell me, Remus, my old friend, why is the world upside down? I mean, a Malfoy spying for the Order..."

"Lucius used to be a spy for our side once."

"He was a traitor all along."

"Not really, James. He snapped when he heard about your marriage with Lily."

James almost fell out of the chair as he raised himself from it. "That's a lie!"

"I don't think so. I know how he felt about you."

"He felt nothing but hate!"

"He liked you, James. In a very weird way, but he did."

"NO!"

"He couldn't handle the fact that you'd married Lily because she used to be a Death Eater."

James covered his face with his hands. "He didn't like me. He just..."

"What? Lusted for you?"

James nodded. "It was sordid. It only happened twice and I loathed him afterwards."

Remus looked at him with a sad expression. "What happened twice, James?"

"Don't make me say it, Remus. You know what happened. You're not that innocent. It was just a fuck."

Remus got closer to James and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"It wasn't my fault that he decided to double-cross us." James started to shudder. 

"I didn't say it was, James. Lucius never really did anything to deserve your love."

James cuddled next to Remus, desperately needing to feel the heat of another human being. 

"I kissed his son," he whispered. "I saw Draco in front of me and I thought it was him. I'm not well, Remus. I feel so lost..."

Remus had tears in his eyes. It'd been a long time since he'd cried for the things he had lost.

"Don't be, James. We're here for you."

"I don't want to hurt Harry."

"You won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know you, James. You'd never hurt Harry."

"Does Harry know about Lily?"

"No. We never told him."

"Good. Don't ever tell him, Remus."

"He should know, James. If he finds out about it later it could be a disaster!"

"He won't find out. Just make sure that slimy Snape keeps his mouth shut!" James kissed Remus' forehead and disentangled himself from his best friend's arms. "I'm tired now. I think I'm going back to bed."

As he left, Remus buried his hands on his hair in despair. When had he turned into such a liar? He had lied about his real feeling for Sirius; he had lied to Harry about his parents' past; he had lied to James about his real condition... He couldn't handle the pressure anymore. After so many years holding back the tears, he let them flow freely. He barely noticed someone entering his office and holding him tightly. To his surprise, it was Sirius.

"Did you hear our conversation?" he asked.

"Yes."

"All of it?"

Sirius nodded.

"We're so screwed, Sirius."

"I'll talk to James. I'll tell him everything so you don't have to omit things to him anymore. I know how much you hate doing that, Remus, because to you omitting something is the same as lying. I'll tell him about his soul, Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy. Dumbledore told me that I could. But I won't tell him anything about Harry and Draco because that's something between father and son."

"Be careful when you tell him, Sirius. He's too fragile."

"I know. Now wipe these tears away 'cause we have guests today."

"Really? Who?"

 "Giants," Sirius said with a mischievous look.

                                                           ------------

All of the staff gathered outside to see the arrival of the giants. It was a once in a life experience that no one wanted to miss. Even James came out as well, having Madam Pomfrey to keep an eye on him. She showed contempt for the others curiosity, implying that the giants' arrival wasn't some sort of a freak show, but she too was unable to take her eyes off them when they finally came to sight. 

Draco stared at Harry in amazement as the giants made their way out of the Forbidden Forest. There were at least ten of them. Some of the women reached the top of the trees, but all men were inches taller than the highest trees of Hogwarts. They could be seen from a very far distance. The noise of their steps could also be heard from very far away and the shaking land could be felt under their feet. Harry felt very lucky to be witness to that.

Dumbledore warned the crowd one last time that they should not talk to the giants unless they talked to them. Giants were very moody and they should be very careful with their words and manners.

When they finally arrived, they saw Hagrid walking in front of them. Hagrid had been responsible for the meeting and he looked quite happy and proud of his achievement. At his side was his mother – the shortest of the women. None of them looked happy though. They looked rather distressed for they had travelled many miles to be there.

"Artemis!" Dumbledore said with a grin, greeting the giant leader.

"Dumbledore," echoed the loud voice of the tallest of the men.

Harry and Draco covered their ears at the sound and Snape shook his head in disapproval.

It had taken two years to convince them to come to Hogwarts and join the Order. Now, it'd take at least a month to persuade five of them into staying and guarding Hogwarts. They were moody but not as dangerous as the Dementors, which pleased Dumbledore. Not only that, but they could keep an eye on the Forest as no one else could. Their eyesight allowed them to view long perimeters so if someone started an attack through the Forest, they would know before anyone else.

The lunch was served outside because the giants couldn't fit inside Hogwarts. 

Draco and Harry got bored long before the others and they snuck out after an exhausting hour of chit-chat. By then, Artemis had been softened by Dumbledore's sympathy and as he laughed, the ground trembled a little. 

James was the only one who saw his son and the Malfoy boy whispering in each other's ears and heading off to the castle. Was he going insane or had he really seen them holding hands? He shook his head, thinking that he _was_ insane. He'd suffered so much because of Lucius and it'd be too ironic if Harry was in love with Draco. Harry should know better than to trust a Malfoy. He thought about following them but Harry would hate him if he did that, so he decided to talk to him later on. He hoped that the boys were only friends and nothing else.

                                                                  -----------

"That was... interesting," Draco remarked as they walked through the corridors. "I mean, they're not that bad and... they're actually kind of... boring."

"They're not boring. They're kind of... slow. It's probably because of their height. They're..."

"Big."

"Yes."

"Do you want to see something else that is big?" Draco suggested with a seductive tone of voice.

Harry smiled. "I see it everyday when I take a shower."

"I'm not talking about that, you perv! Besides, yours is not that big."

"You've never complained about it before." Harry enlaced Draco from behind and kissed his face gently. 

"That's because I'm a gentleman."

Harry bit Draco's earlobe and stroked his stomach over the red sweater.  Draco moaned in delight.

"Really?"

"Yes," Draco whispered, his head falling back and exposing his neck to Harry's kisses. "But don't worry. You're still young. It'll probably grow a few inches more."

Harry pulled away. "Are you serious? Do you really think that little Harry is... little?"

He looked so adorably insecure that Draco couldn't help but laugh. He knew that that was a terrible mistake but the urge to laugh was stronger than himself. Harry felt ultimately outraged by it and he turned to leave but Draco pulled him back into his arms and kissed him. 

"Did I ever tell you that you're beautifully naive, Harry?" Draco said, his eyes shining deeply with amusement. 

"Yes, once. Just a little before I did my striptease for you, which by the way, you enjoyed!"

"Oh, yes, I remember that day quite well."

"Did you have to tease me like that in front of my father?"

"I wasn't teasing you. I was just trying to fake the animosity between us. Like in the old days."

"You don't think I should tell him about us then?"

"I don't think your father is ready to hear about it, Harry. He's..."

"Weak, lost, disturbed... Pick one!" Harry said bitterly.

"I'm sorry, love." Draco rested his forehead on Harry's. "But the good thing is that he still likes my father otherwise he wouldn't have kissed me."

"Right. That damn kiss..." A shadow fell upon Harry's features.

"It wasn't that much of a kiss... it was more like a brush of lips and not even that much!"

"I know what I saw, Draco. And I don't want to remember it ever again. Eew. You and my father..."

"All right. Let's bury it forever!"

"Did you feel something?"

"Of course not, Harry. I was just fascinated by the way your father's eyes were shining because that was a proof of his love for my father. I didn't feel anything except awkwardness!" Draco decided to omit that James was a handsome man though. He had the feeling that Harry wouldn't like that remark. "Now, let me take you to a hidden place that I discovered on my way to the kitchen this morning."

"There are no hidden places in this castle that I don't know of, Draco. I have the Map, remember?"

"I don't think you know about _this place, Harry."_

"It's impossible."

Draco fumed. "What? I'm not good enough to be a marauder then?"

"It's not that, Draco, it's just..."

"It's not just the stairs of this castle that moves, Harry. Some rooms move as well. Maybe this one appears once every decade or something. Who cares? What matters is that I've found it, it's brilliant and I want you to see it. If you don't want to then..."

"Calm down! You've got a temper, do you know that?"

Draco frowned. "That's it. No sex for you today." And he walked away.

Harry was torn between amusement and anger, and after a while he decided to follow Draco. 

"Drama Queen," he muttered.

"Right. I'm the one who is insecure about the size of my d..."

Harry covered Draco's mouth with his hand. "Shush. Do you hear something?"

Draco muttered a curse and shook his head. Harry took his hand off Draco's lips, who punched his arm. 

"Ouch!" Harry complained, stroking the place where Draco had punched him. 

"Never do that to me again!" Draco pointed the finger at him.

"I thought I heard steps coming from behind us."

Draco looked around and saw nothing. "And I think you're mental. There's no one here but us."

Truth to be told, Harry had always hated the dungeons. It was an extremely dark, cold and creepy place. Even Snape had moved out of his quarters to another place because that gloomy environment wasn't good for Erin's baby.  There was no one there except for the house-elves and a very big and ugly troll that was wondering around the corridors looking lost. Wait a second... Harry opened his eyes wide. A troll? 

He poked Draco, who stared at him with irritation.

"WHAT? We're almost there, Harry."

"A troll."

"A what?"

"A TROLL! THERE'S A TROLL HERE!"

"You're delusional, Harry. You must be spending too much time with your father and..."

"He's behind you..."

"Yeah, right. Like I'd fall for that!" Draco heard a loud grunt behind him and froze. "Is there really a troll behind me, Harry?"

"Yes." Harry couldn't take his eyes off the immense lump of a creature. 

Draco gulped. "Ok. Don't panic. We can handle a troll."

The troll grunted louder and raised his club to strike them. The club descended upon them and Harry jumped on top of Draco to protect him. They rolled on the floor before it could hit them. The impact of the club destroyed a wall and the sharp rocks flew away through the room, almost hitting them. 

"_Wingardium Leviosa!" shouted Harry, making the club float on the air and land on the troll's head._

The troll looked stunned for a moment, and then he fell on the floor.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked Draco.

"Yeah. Is he dead?"

"No, I think he's just passed out."

"FUCK! And all you had to do to knock him out was a rising up spell?"

"It worked for Ron on our first year." Harry shrugged.

"Now I'm really depressed."

"Are you really all right?" Harry asked, worried.

"I'm fine, Harry. And you?"

"I'm fine, too."

Draco noticed a small cut on Harry's cheek and gasped. "No, you're not! You're hurt, Harry!"

"It's nothing Draco."

"But it's bleeding!"

"You're overreacting."

"We should go to Madam Pomfrey. And we should tell someone about the troll."

"No need to worry. Let me handle it," Filch said appearing out of nowhere and scaring them. "You can go now."

Draco and Harry stared at him with suspicion but went away nonetheless. 

"Do you think he's the one responsible for the troll?" asked Draco after a while.

"No, he doesn't have the guts to do it."

"But wasn't kind of weird the way he appeared all of a sudden?"

"Yes, but... I mean, Filch? He couldn't have done it. He's a squib."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Harry made Draco stop walking and stroked his face. "Do you think that someone let the troll in on purpose?"

"I don't know. It's not possible. All we have here are allies."

"It was just a coincidence then?"

"I think so, Harry. He must have got in through one of the Hogwarts tunnels."

"I thought those tunnels were magically protected."

Draco sighed. "They are. But maybe he found a gap somewhere."

"This is not good, Draco. If he can find a gap – and he's a stupid creature – so can a Death Eater."

"No more hidden room, then. No more cuddling either… We should talk to Dumbledore."

"Yeah. Right now."

They started walking again.

"But first you should take a look on that cut!"

"I'm fine."

"Harry..."

"Don't make such a fuss about it. What was in that hidden room anyway?"

"Books. Thousands of old and dusty books. And there was the Gryffindor blazon on every shelf."

Harry stopped dead. "WHAT?"

"I think it was Godric Gryffindor's library."

Harry stared at him as if he was dealing with a lunatic. "You talk about it as if it was nothing! Merlin! You found Godric Gryffindor's library? I can't believe you, Draco! Why didn't you tell me before? Dammit! What if it only appears once a decade? We should go there right now!"

Draco looked embarrassed. "I wanted to give you a surprise. I gave you nothing for your birthday so... But we can't go there now, Harry. We have to tell the others what happened. I mean, it's damn ironic that at the same day the giants arrive to guard the Hogwarts' grounds, a troll sneaks in through a tunnel without being noticed."

"Ok." Harry sighed in defeat. "Let's talk to them first. Then we'll come back to find that room!"

                                                           -------------

Later on, while the adults discussed the troll, Draco and Harry went back to look for the room but couldn't find it anymore. Harry was extremely disappointed by that, while Draco kept cursing himself under his breath about the troll fiasco.

Draco still couldn't believe that Harry had been the one who stopped the troll and not him. He had trained so much over that month only to panic at the first sign of danger. Harry had protected him, not the other way around. He'd failed.  

"Maybe we should ask Dobby about it," Harry suggested. "How did you find it anyway?"

"I stumbled and fell right into that wall. The wall was just an illusion though."

"Didn't you say something when you fell? Like a password or something?" 

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"Dammit."

Harry tried a few spells but nothing worked. Meanwhile, Draco had slipped to sit on the floor. He'd failed with Harry and he was feeling really depressed. 

"What's wrong, Drake?"

Draco had been so immersed in his own thoughts that he hadn't even seen Harry kneeling beside him and holding his hand.

"I've failed, Harry. I did nothing against that troll. Nothing! Even Weasley knocked one out once."

"It doesn't mean you've failed. He took us by surprise."

"That's not an excuse. Or do you think that the Death Eaters will warn us before an attack?"

"Well, no, but..."

Draco shook his head. "No buts. I've failed. I'm a useless piece of shit!"

"You're not, Draco. And I'm sure you'd have thought of something if I hadn't cast that spell on the club."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know that you'd have protected me with your life, Draco. I know you wouldn't let me get hurt."

"But you did get hurt!"

"It was only a scratch!" Harry came closer to Draco and looked deeply into his eyes. "You're very good, Draco. I know you won't lose any duels when you see yourself face to face to a Death Eater. You're an excellent dueller. I think the reason why you didn't attack him faster than me was caused by the trauma you have for any creatures of the forest."

Draco remembered the time when his father left him all alone in the Manor's forest. He'd been lost and scared to death at the time. Of course, he was only a child back then. But that trauma didn't excuse his actions at all. He stopped thinking about it though when Harry's lips captured his. He enlaced Harry and brought him closer. 

"Let's enjoy the time we've left to be together," Harry whispered against his mouth.

"Ok." He took Harry's hand in his and led them to the Gryffindor tower for one last snog session. 

                                                           ------------

Draco landed on the floor of the third floor room of the Manor and cursed. He wasn't only pissed by the dust on his – actually Harry's – clothes but rather with the fact that he had to leave Harry once again to go back to his lifeless Mansion. 

"Are you wearing a Gryffindor sweater?" came the voice of Lucius from the shadows, scaring the hell out of Draco. 

"Dammit! Couldn't you have waited somewhere else for my arrival?"

Lucius frowned. "Would that make any difference?"

"Yes! You wouldn't have scared the shit out of me!"

"You should learn to always be prepared for the worst, Draco."

Draco sighed as he remembered the troll fiasco. "Yeah, I know."

"No, I don't think you do! What if it was someone else expecting you? An enemy, just waiting to stab you in the back? You'd be dead by now!" Lucius fumed. 

"Like you'd care!" Draco shouted back, too tired to play the obedient son.

Lucius' eyes flickered. "You're my only heir."

Draco sneered, "And that's why you _care_? Because I'm your bloody heir?"

"Apparently, things didn't go well between you and Potter or you wouldn't be in such a bad mood. What happened? Has he already found someone else to replace you?" Lucius sneered.

Draco rolled his eyes. "No, he hasn't. Harry and I had a wonderful time together. It was something else that pissed me off. Like a troll set loose on the dungeons. Harry saved me from almost having my head lopped off. I've spent a month in that awful camp and I couldn't handle a goddammed troll! That's why I'm in such a bad mood! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my room."

Draco left the room before his father could react properly. Lucius followed him. 

"Don't be so harsh on yourself. I'm sure you did your best."

Draco had never expected to hear his father say something like that to him. 

"I can't believe you just said that," he said, astonished. "I mean, every time I've told you that I had tried my best, you'd always said to me that trying wasn't an option. That I should succeed at all costs."

"That's because life hardly gives us a second chance, Draco. Sometimes you only have one shot to make things right... only one... and it doesn't matter how hard you've tried if you've screwed up in the end."

Draco could really use a hug but he knew that that was too much to ask of Lucius. 

"Have you talked to Dumbledore?" Lucius asked, regaining his cold posture.

"Yes."

"And you told him everything."

"Yes. He told me you were a spy once." Draco stared at Lucius, searching in his countenance some trace of emotion. 

"Did he? Well, I don't even remember those days anymore."

"Why did you never use that fireplace? Why didn't you tell Voldemort about it?"

"That's not of your concern," Lucius flinched. 

"Oh, yes, it is. That can be dangerous!"

"I'm sure Dumbledore put someone to guard it. To be honest, I didn't even think it was functioning anymore." Lucius shrugged.

"I don't buy that. But the fact that you've never told anyone about it could be a good sign."

"Don't dream, Draco. We've had this conversation before."

"I won't lose hope!"

Lucius shook his head. "Did you see him?"

"Yes. He still loves you, you know?"

Lucius looked at him as Draco had gone mad. "_Still_? He never loved me, Draco."

"He kissed me."

"WHAT? The bloody bastard!" Lucius seemed outraged and Draco saw that as a good sign. "I'd be glad to finish him with my bare hands!"

"He was in some sort of a trance. He thought I was you. He called your name." Lucius didn't seem to believe him but Draco went on anyway, "He has terrible headaches. He's very weak, even though he doesn't seem to be. He's not himself because a part of his soul is in Voldemort's wand. And he'll die if we don't destroy Voldemort soon."

"I don't care. He's been dead to me for a long, long time."

Lucius turned to leave the room but Draco stopped him.

"What happened between you and him, father? Because whatever it was, it's not over yet."

Lucius didn't want to remember the past anymore, but he felt like he had to say something and who knew? Maybe he'd crush some of Draco's dreams that he – Lucius – would turn out good someday.

"There was only lust between Potter and me. I fucked him twice. He was under _Imperius and he claimed that I raped him. Is that enough to you, Draco? Or do you also want to hear the details of my sordid affair?"_

"I don't believe you. You wouldn't do something like that."

"You don't fucking know me, Draco! There's nothing good about me!"

"That's a lie! One of our house-elves told me that you only locked my mother in the dungeon for a day. The same day that I was here. You did that because you wanted to blackmail me. But the fact was that you didn't torture her, and you tried to make her eat something, even when she was locked in her room, but she refused. You'd locked her up in her room, not in the dungeon as you wanted me to believe. And then you helped her escape, because you knew Black was here to take her away and you never had any intentions of hurting my mother."

"I'd have turned her in to Voldemort, Draco. Don't think I wouldn't!"

"Well, you didn't."

"And what does that mean, Draco? Absolutely nothing!"

"All I know is that Voldemort will try to kill James again and you should do something to prevent that. You said that life hardly gives us a second chance to make things right. Well, here is yours! Take it, dammit! Save him!"

Lucius breathed hard. "It's useless talking to you. You only listen what you want to hear it! Haven't you heard what I said? He hates me. I put him under _Imperius!"_

"You might have done it, but not to have sex with him. I know you. You'd only have sex with him if he wanted to on his free will. You're too proud to force anyone. Just like I am."

"Don't be so sure."

"Fine. Have it your way, then. Be a bastard for eternity!"

"Mark my words, Draco. One day Harry Potter will betray you and you will feel so broken that you'll want to hurt him. Badly. And then, my son, you'll finally realise why you're a Malfoy."

It sounded like a premonition, and the scary part was that Lucius was usually right. Draco refused to believe him though. And for the rest of the night, he tried to convince himself that Harry wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Harry loved him. Right?

A/N: Please, review!


	4. Second Chance

**Title:** TAKE ME HOME (4/?)

**Author:** blanchemalfoy

**Rating**: R

**Pairings:** **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warning:** This is SLASH (male/male pairing). 

**A/N:** Thanks to **Katie**, my beta reader; and to all the reviewers! 

Chap. 4 – **SECOND CHANCE**

As the days went by, Lucius tried hard to forget about his conversation with Draco. The fact that he couldn't pissed him off. Draco was right, even though Lucius would never admit it. But it was too late for him. 

He didn't dare to hope any longer. He'd done it once only to be crushed by reality. There was no place for hope in the world. It was better to just forget about James Potter and move on with his life. He had better things to think of. Like his position as Minister of Magic when Fudge finally lost the job; after all, it was only a matter of time before that would happen.

But something happened that month; something that changed Lucius' perspective of things to come. Even though he had violent impulses, he wasn't a violent person himself. He didn't have the same thirst for blood as Lestrange, and in spite of the fact that he liked to suspend Muggles upside down, he tried his best to avoid participating in killings and tortures. All of those years living an unhappy marriage, he'd never laid a finger on Narcissa or Draco. He did play psychological games with them but he had never beaten his wife and his son. 

When Lestrange had appeared at his house to take him to the Muggle's concentration camp, he had tried to invent a proper excuse not to go but couldn't find any. He went against his will, wishing he was somewhere else the whole time. The things he saw at the place made his stomach turn and gave him enough images for endless nightmares. 

The Muggles there were treated like the worst scum on the planet. He didn't like Muggles, but to make them look like that... Their faces were caved like a rotten pumpkin, the skin was putrid and the flesh was hanging off in places. He had never felt so sick in his entire life. On top of this, he'd also had to put up with Lestrange's madness. 

So when Pettigrew had told him how he would like to take James to that place, he made a decision right there and then. He'd kidnap James before Voldemort could do it and he'd hide him somewhere safe. He knew it was a stupid thing to do, and he knew it was dangerous, but he didn't care. As much as he hated James, no one deserved a fate like that. 

For the rest of the month, he thought about the idea. He took it back so many times that he'd lost count. He was scared about the consequences. He wouldn't just be hunted by Aurors; he'd also be hunted by Voldemort. So basically, he was in a dead end. Unless, of course, he did nothing. And then he'd have to watch James turning into one of those things. He couldn't let that happen. James didn't deserve to be turned into a zombie. 

"Father?" he heard Draco calling him.

"What?" he asked, very annoyed with the interruption.

"I have to go to Diagon Alley to shop for the new school year. I'm already behind schedule. Classes start in two days," Draco informed him.

"Take a few galleons from the safe and go by floo powder."

Draco moved his hands nervously and stepped forward. "I don't want to go by floo powder. I don't like that shitty way of transportation and you know it. Even a port key would be better, but we don't have to use one. Not with the limousine ready at the garage..." Draco made a strategic pause and then added as if what he was about to say meant nothing, "...or the Ferrari." 

Lucius sighed, already foreseeing what Draco was about to say next. 

"I can drive the Ferrari. I won't even use any of the magical improvements on the car. Please?"

It wasn't like Draco to beg but he loved the Ferrari. He had been infatuated with that car ever since Lucius had bought it a year ago. It was such a beautiful car and he loved to drive it just as much as he loved to fly on his broom. It was settled that Lucius would give the car to Draco when he turned eighteen, but Draco didn't have the patience to wait until then. 

"The answer is no."

"But father, I know how to drive it!"

"You don't have a license, Draco. In fact, we shouldn't even have a Muggle car like that."

"I have a fake driver's license. And I'll make sure no one sees me."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "I thought I'd heard you say that you wouldn't use any of the magical improvements."

"Oh, come on! Since when do you care about the law? You've been breaking it ever since you were a kid! Please, let me take the Ferrari! I'll do pretty much anything you want." Lucius looked at Draco with a pleasant face and Draco added, "Anything but give up on Harry." 

Even though Lucius liked to see Draco sounding so subservient, he couldn't let him take the car. He didn't want Draco to get into trouble with the Muggles because he didn't have as many connections with them as he had in the wizarding community. Not only that, but he also didn't want to get into trouble with the Ministry as well. 

Lucius could use some fresh air though. He also happened to like the car, even though he would never admit it. Maybe it was time to leave the Manor and forget about his plans to kidnap James for the time being. Or perhaps he could take the opportunity to buy some stuff needed to put the plan into practice. 

"I'll drive you there, Draco," he decided. 

Draco made a face of prostration. 

"What? Don't you want your father's company?" Lucius sneered. 

"I don't get you. If you want me to be as bad as you are, then you should let _me drive the Ferrari."_

"It's a matter of caution, Draco. Maybe some other time." Lucius stood up. "I meet you in the car in about twenty minutes."

Draco followed Lucius as he got out of his office. 

"Wait. I have some news for you," Draco said uncertainly. 

"Good or bad?"

"I think it's good. I've been chosen to be a Prefect," he told Lucius as if it was nothing important. 

What Draco wanted was recognition from his father. He wanted Lucius to hug him or at least to tap him on the shoulder. But he knew none of those things would happen. Lucius was anything but that kind of father. Draco could count on his hands the times when Lucius had made him a compliment of any sort. 

This time though, he saw something else flickering in his father's eyes. It seemed a lot like esteem. 

"Good for you," was all that Lucius said to him. 

Then he reached out to touch Draco, who froze on the spot waiting for Lucius' next step. It was rare to see his father having a sentimental moment. Draco held his breath in expectation, afraid that if he made any movements, Lucius would pull away instantly. But Lucius, realising what he was about to do, dropped his hand on the side and left. Sadly, Draco sighed and went to wait for him by the car.

                                                               ----------------

While Lucius went to Knockturn Alley, Draco took the time to shop for his school material. He was curious about Lucius' visit to that creepy place – but cool in Draco's opinion. A visit to Knockturn Alley was never a good thing, but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment. 

He entered Madam Malkin's and his mind was swept away by memories of him and Harry meeting there on two different occasions. The first of them Draco had wanted nothing but to impress the boy who had caught his attention at first sight. The second time they'd met as enemies but he had made sure to Harry that they could be much more than that. They'd have kissed each other if Pansy hadn't showed up to spoil the moment. 

As he waited for Madam Malkin to wrap up his new robes, he wondered if Harry was around. He hadn't had time to warn Harry about his trip to Diagon Alley but maybe Harry had chosen that same day to go there. It was only a wish but he couldn't help thinking about it. 

He was about to leave the store when someone bumped him on its way in. He dropped his packages on the floor and cursed the person silently, kneeling down to pick them all. There was a time where he would curse the person out loud, but those days were long forgotten. The person knelt by his side to help him, but Draco said he didn't need any. He still had much to buy and he just wanted to get out of the store. But the mysterious person held his hand and Draco felt shivers running down his spine in surprise but also in delight. He knew that sensation very well.  

"Are you sure you don't want my help?" whispered a familiar voice in his ear. "Not even from your boyfriend?"

He instantly stared at the person and grinned widely as he realised Harry was right next to him.

"Harry," he whispered, not quite believing that Harry was really there.

"Hi." Harry smiled. "So, this scene looks familiar." 

"I suppose it does. I almost kissed you here once," Draco said with his eyes glowing brightly.  

"Yeah, I remember." Harry looked around and saw Madam Malkin staring at them with curiosity. 

"Is there anything wrong, boys?" she asked from the balcony. 

"No," Harry answered, looking embarrassed. 

She didn't seem to believe him and Harry gave her a half-smile. 

"I'm only asking because you already dropped by today, Mr. Potter. Is everything ok with the robes I sold you?"

"Yes, everything is perfect. I'm only here because… because…" 

Harry had only entered the store because he had spotted Draco inside. Now he realised that that was a stupid thing to do. He should have waited for Draco outside. Then he wouldn't have to face Madam Malkin and her distrusting face. He hoped she hadn't heard the soft way he had talked to Draco just a while ago. Looking at Draco for help, he saw his boyfriend's amused face and realised he was on his own. 

"I-I… I forgot my new scarf!" he lied. 

"Scarf? You didn't buy any scarf!"

"Exactly! I forgot to buy it!"

Madam Malkin frowned and Draco bit his lower lip to prevent a laugh. 

"What scarf do you want?" she asked. 

"Probably a red one made of pashmina to go with his new position as a Prefect," Draco suggested. 

"Oh, you're a Prefect! Congratulations!" Madam Malkin greeted him.

"Thank you, but I'm not a Prefect. I resigned." Harry informed to Draco's utter surprise.

"RESIGNED? You didn't even take over the position! How could you do something like that?" 

Harry raised an eyebrow at Draco's reaction. He didn't know Draco would care so much about it. _He certainly didn't. He had so many problems bothering him that year that he didn't want one more. The position as a Prefect would be just another complication in his life and he didn't want that. And what was Draco thinking by talking to him like that in front of Madam Malkin?_

"Well, Malfoy, I didn't know you cared," he sneered. 

It was only then that Draco realised they were being observed by Madam Malkin very suspiciously. 

"I don't, Potter," he covered up. "It's not like you to chicken out, that's all." 

"My decision doesn't concern you."

Again, Draco forgot where they were and said harshly, "Really? And what makes you think of that? I would certainly like to know why and…" Harry cleared his throat to call Draco's attention and the blond sighed, "Whatever. It's none of my business anyway. I was just curious. Like I said, it's not like you to just give up." 

Draco glared at Harry once more and got out of the store very pissed off. 

"He seemed to be taking the matter of your resignation very personally," Madam Malkin stated. 

"Indeed." Harry was curious about that, too. Maybe it was only an act. Or maybe it wasn't. Either way, he had to get out of the store before Draco disappeared on the street. He turned to face Madam Malkin again and said, "I changed my mind about that scarf." 

He didn't wait for her answer before going away. Madam Malkin frowned at what she had seen. 

"Lover's quarrel, I suppose," she muttered before returning to her work. 

                                                              -----------  

For half an hour, Harry followed Draco pretty much everywhere. Draco didn't hide his distaste with the situation. He didn't know why he was feeling so irritated with Harry's decision. Perhaps it was because if they were Prefects, they would be closer to each other since Prefects had separated rooms from the rest of the students. Maybe they would even share the same room. And even if they didn't, if would be much easier to sneak out of their dorms without being noticed. But Harry spoiled it all by resigning the position without even taking it. They should have discussed it first! 

As he entered the book shop, he noticed that people were starting to look at them with curiosity. He stared back at them with insolence and was about to yell at Harry to back off when out of nowhere appeared a red-haired girl who enlaced Harry from behind and gave him a kiss on the cheek. To his distress, Harry grinned and didn't pull away. 

Draco's eyes opened widely. His blood boiled and he clenched his fists ready to march over there and push the girl away from his boyfriend, but someone stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the person with an irritated tone of voice.

He looked at the person holding his arm and frowned. 

"Weasley?"

"I'm glad you remember me. I wouldn't go there if I were you," Ron warned him.

"I don't need you to baby-sit me," Draco fumed. 

"Oh, but you do. I know what you want to do, Malfoy, and I can't allow it. "

"Oh, just shut up! And take your filthy hands off me!" 

Ron gladly let go of him but stepped in front of Draco to prevent him from moving. 

"What's wrong ferret face? Don't like what you see? Is it too much for you?" Ron sneered. 

"I'm this close of breaking your face, Weasley, so shut up!" Draco snarled, "Who is that bitch?"

"HEY! Don't talk about her like that! She's my sister. Have some respect!"

"Your sister? That girl is Ginny?"

"Yes."

Ron didn't look so pleasant himself. Ginny had grown up too fast in his opinion and he could only imagine what Hogwarts would be like to her that year. He would have to watch his sister 24/7. She was becoming a very beautiful girl and his friends had already started noticing her – like Dean, for instance, who couldn't take his eyes off Ginny every since he'd seen her at the pet shop. 

That wasn't the only problem. He knew Ginny had a crush on Harry and she seemed determined to make him fall in love with her that year. Ron had tried to put some sense into her head but the girl was blind. The poor girl would have the shock of her life if she discovered about Harry and Draco. He had to protect his little sister at all costs.

Hermione disagreed. In her opinion, they should tell Ginny about Harry and Draco so she wouldn't cause the couple too many troubles. Like the one she had caused at that instant.

"Hi, Malfoy," Hermione greeted Draco. "It's so nice to see you all stressed out!"

"Ha-ha," Draco forged a laugh and searched for Harry through a gap on the shelf, finding him a few meters away, still talking to Ginny. He breathed hard. "He's doing it on purpose, the bastard! And I didn't do anything to him!"

"They're just talking, Malfoy. Don't make such a fuss about it," Hermione said. 

"TALKING? Weasley's body language speaks for itself. She wants him."

"My sister is too young to know what she wants," Ron assured. "Besides, she has always liked him, long before you came along, Malfoy. You can't blame her for trying. She doesn't know that Harry is seeing you."

"Let's tell her them," Draco smirked, walking towards Harry. 

"Dammit! Get him Ron before he does something stupid," Hermione ordered.

Ron just rolled his eyes and went after Draco. It wasn't Ron who cut in front of Draco though, but a very satisfied Lucius Malfoy. He stared at his son, then at Harry and Ginny and back at Draco again with such a look that made Draco want to curse him. 

"Maybe I'm seeing it all wrong but I do believe that the young man over there is Harry Potter. How interesting," Lucius smirked. "Is he cheating on you so soon? I guess he is by the look of it. He does seem interested in her. And look, she has red hair!"

"Shut up," Draco scowled. 

"I don't know you anymore, Draco. At this point you would be making nasty jokes about Potter's lack of talent or his dead mother. But I guess you're not a Malfoy anymore. You prefer to be Potter's whore," Lucius muttered wickedly. 

Draco cursed under his breath and kept walking until he was beside Harry. His father's words made him even angrier with the situation. It was like setting dry grass on fire. He didn't know what he was doing but he knew he couldn't let Lucius thinking that he was a coward. 

Ginny stared at him with a not so pleasant face and Harry looked puzzled. 

"So, Saint Harry Potter got himself a girlfriend," Draco smirked. "Finally! Everybody in the school was thinking that you were gay. A Weasley. I knew you had a terrible taste. Tell me, Potter, is she really good or is this some Oedipus complex? She's not your mother, Potter, even though she has red hair and I'm almost positive that she's just as irritating as your mother must have been. May I suggest that you get over it? It's not fair to the bloody girl. She can't take your mother's place. I'm sure your father would say the same thing. Or maybe you have some morbid desire to revive your parents past. Is that it, Potter? Because if it is, I suggest you have some therapy."

Harry paled at the harsh words. He hadn't done anything to deserve such treatment from Draco. 

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his tone of voice indicating that he was very pissed off.

Draco grimaced. "You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't, Malfoy. And if you don't get out of my sight this very instant I'll..."

"You'll do nothing because you're the good guy, Potter. I can spit at you, bite you and curse you. I can pretty much do whatever I want because you're a Gryffindor and you're good by nature. Slytherins are not that stupid."

"Don't be so certain about it," Harry hissed.  

"Leave us alone, Malfoy," said Ginny. 

Draco looked at her with disgust. "I don't talk to mudbloods' lovers."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Draco seemed like somebody else entirely. Why was he acting like that? Harry didn't understand why Draco's eyes seemed suddenly so dark and creepy. Maybe it was because of Lucius Malfoy, who was staring at them with amusement. Whatever was wrong, Harry couldn't allow Draco to talk to Ginny like that.

He pushed Draco away and ordered, "Leave, Malfoy. Now."

"Or what?" Draco affronted him. "You're going to hex me? You're not that brave."

"Why are you doing this?" Harry asked, confused. 

Draco flinched, torn between rage and regret. For a moment, he looked at Harry as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He felt like he had just awakened from a disturbing dream. He looked at his father and then back at Harry, not knowing what to say next. His blood pressure dropped and his vision blurred. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he knew he had to get out of there before he passed out. 

"Are you ok?" Harry asked, worried.

He tried to touch Draco but the blond pulled away roughly.

"Don't touch me."

Harry looked deeply into Draco's eyes and saw a red flame burning inside. He gasped.

"Drac..."

Before he could do anything, Draco left. 

                                                           -----------------

"Draco?" 

Draco opened his eyes and stared at his father's worried expression. He sighed. His head ached and he was feeling nauseated. On top of that, he was probably hallucinating, because Lucius would never stare at him like he cared. 

"Where am I?" Draco asked.

"At the Leaky Cauldron. You passed out so Tom rented me a room. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. I think I'm going to be sick." 

Immediately, Draco ran to the bathroom and threw up his lunch. He'd never felt so debilitated in his entire life. To his surprise, Lucius helped him steady and clean his face. 

"What's going on with me?" Draco asked weakly as his father laid him on the bed.

"I don't know. I called a medi-wizard to have a look at you."

"You seem concerned and that's not a good sign."

"I'm not concerned," Lucius lied.

"Of course not. You're the heartless Lucius Malfoy," Draco smiled bitterly. 

"Just rest, Draco."

Draco looked at the ceiling. "What did I do?"

"You behaved like a Malfoy."

"I behaved like a jerk. Harry must hate me now. What was I thinking?" Draco stared at Lucius with suspicion. "What did you do to me?"

"ME? Don't blame me for your sudden outburst. I had nothing to do with it."

"That person wasn't me. I would never yell at Harry like that."

Lucius shook his head. "Of course you would. You're an authentic Malfoy." 

"Was that how you treated James? Because if it was, I can totally understand why he left you."

Lucius face went red from rage. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about. James and I were never together, Draco. He never left me because he was never mine to begin with and I didn't want him to be."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

Lucius sighed. He was tired of arguing with Draco. It was like arguing with a muggle wall. 

"You were only reacting to Harry's treachery."

"No. Harry wasn't cheating on me. He was just talking to her. I overreacted and that wasn't like me. I know better than that. I was mad at Harry before but when I glimpsed him with Weasley it was like something possessed me."

Lucius didn't like to hear that but he preferred not to worry for the moment. He would wait for the medi-wizard's diagnostic. Someone knocked on the door and he opened it. To his surprise, it wasn't just the medi-wizard but also Harry Potter. Lucius let the doctor in and shut the door before Harry could enter as well. With a smiled, he heard Harry cursing at the other side of the door about a nose. _Good, thought Lucius. He hoped he had broken the git's nose._

The medi-wizard didn't take too long at his examination and he found nothing wrong with Draco. It wasn't a relief to Lucius though. Some dark curses were unable to be discovered by a doctor's wand and skills. Maybe Draco was really fine and that was only an indisposition but he wanted to be sure. There was only one person that could help him in that matter and that person was Severus Snape. 

When the doctor went away, Harry tried to come in again but Lucius obstructed his passage.

"I didn't invite you, worm," Lucius hissed.

"You can't stop me," Harry replied with insolence.

"What makes you think that Draco wants to see you after what you did?"

"I did nothing!"

"And how the hell did you know we were here?"

Harry shrugged. "Why do you care?"

"Look, Potter, you're not just risking your life but mine and Draco's as well just by being here. Leave! My son doesn't want to talk to you. You and your filthy father caused too many damages to us."

"My father? What…"

Lucius shut the door on Harry's face again before he could finish his question. Harry wouldn't give up that easily though. He would stay there until he talked to Draco. He needed to know why Draco had behaved like that with him. It wasn't like the Draco he knew to have that kind of outburst. His boyfriend tended to do the opposite in fact. If Draco was mad at him, he would just ignore him like he had been doing it until Ginny came along. He couldn't possibly be jealous of Ginny. And even if he was, it wasn't like him to act like that.

Finally, the door opened again and Lucius frowned.

"Still here?"

"I won't go until I talk to Draco." 

"He's resting, Potter."

"What's wrong with him?"

"According to the doctor, nothing." Lucius sighed. "Look, I have to send an owl to a friend and…"

"Do you have friends?" Harry asked as if that was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard.

Lucius fumed, "Don't push your luck, Potter."

"Sorry," he didn't sound sorry though.

"Stay with Draco while I'm gone."

Harry opened his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to say something but Lucius cut him out.

"Don't say a word. Just be by his side. And don't upset him or you'll wish you were never born."

Lucius let Harry in and left. Harry passed the living room not paying attention to the size of it. He went straight to the bedroom where he found Draco sleeping and he sat beside him. Draco immediately opened his eyes and stared at his lover. There were many questions in Harry's eyes but he couldn't answer them. He also didn't know what was wrong with him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. 

"Why did you do that? Was it really necessary to play such a scene? Ginny didn't deserve it and..."

"GINNY?" Draco looked at Harry in disbelief. "You do realise that she's in love with you."

"No, she's not."

"Oh, please, Harry, you're not that naive." Draco stood up and walked back and forth. "I realise that I overreacted but I had a point, Harry. She's completely in love with you. And you... I saw you. You were smiling at her in such a way. It felt like you were cheating on me!"

"We were just talking, Draco!"

"Yeah, that was what I told my father. How did you find me here anyway? And how did my father let you in?"

"I followed you. And your father actually asked me to keep you company."

Draco frowned. "It doesn't seem like my father."

"Tell me about it. Look, Draco, I don't love Ginny. She's just my best friend's sister. I didn't even have to give you an explanation but I felt like I had to by the way you reacted."

"I don't deserve an explanation?" Draco fumed.

"It's not that. But if I keep apologising too much, it'll sound like I'm guilty and I'm not!"

Draco breathed hard. "You're lucky I don't have asthma like my father."

"Lucius has asthma?" Harry frowned. The day had been full of surprises. 

"Yes."

Draco opened the window to get some air but stepped into something sharp and let out a yelp. Harry quickly took him in his arms, laid him on the bed and asked what was wrong. 

"I hurt my right foot," Draco whined.

Harry examined his foot and saw that Draco had stepped into a small piece of glass. He had a little training in wizard's first aid and as he took the glass out of Draco's foot, he tried to heal the cut the best way he could with his wand. 

"Is it better?" he asked Draco in expectation.

"Yes. Thanks, Harry." 

They stared at each other for a long time. Slowly Harry kissed Draco until the blond melted away in his arms. 

"I love you. Ginny is like a sister to me," he whispered against Draco's lips.

"She's not your sister, Harry."

Harry sighed. "I know. But I'm not interested in her. I love _you_. I'm here, aren't I? What's wrong with you? Why was a medi-wizard here to see you? Are you sick? I've noticed that your eyes were looking different when you were yelling at me."

"I wasn't yelling. And I'm sorry for insulting your mother. I didn't mean to."

"It was Lucius, wasn't it? He talked you into doing that."

"No."

"I know it was him. He keeps poisoning you, telling you that what happened between my father and him will happen to us, too, but that's not true, Draco. We're not them! Don't listen to him. He's not right."

"You don't know what happened to them! How can you be so sure?"

Harry squeezed Draco's hand in his. "Because I know how I feel. By the look of things, my father must have been scared of his feelings for Lucius and the same must have happened to your father. They were cowards. We're not!"

"What did you mean about my eyes being different, Harry?" Draco asked all of a sudden.

"Maybe it was just an impression but I thought they'd gone red for a moment."

"Red?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Something is not right, Harry. As I was talking to you at the book shop, I felt like I was possessed, like I was someone else. Or maybe that was the real me, you know? Maybe you should walk away from me. Be with someone like Ginny Weasley."

"Don't say that." Harry stroked Draco's hair and kissed him hard. "I don't want her. I want you."

"Do you think you can spend the night here?" Draco pleaded.

"Yes. I don't think anyone could stop me anyway." Harry smiled and Draco smiled back at him. "What about your father?"

"What about yours? Don't you think he'll be pissed off, too?"

"I asked it first!"

"Let me handle Lucius."

"Let me handle James."

At the same time, Lucius stepped into the room with an arched eyebrow. Draco looked at him defiantly and told him that Harry would stay with him. Harry also stared at him insolently, his eyes saying that he wouldn't get out of that room for nothing in the world. Lucius admired their courage and with a dry tone of voice, he informed Draco that Harry could spend the night but he would have to get out as soon as the sun came up. 

He didn't like Potter, but as he watched their enlaced hands and their intimacy, he realised that he was witnessing true love for the first time in his life. It was a shocking moment for him, one that he hid very well. In Harry's eyes he saw the burning passion, the strong determination. Even if he didn't allow Harry to stay, he knew the Boy-Who-Lived would find a way to get in. That was why he let him stay.

"If you need anything, I'm in the front room," he said before leaving. 

Draco stared at Harry amazed. "He let you stay. I can't believe it!"

"Well, miracles happen." 

"What if this is a trick? What if Voldemort will come to get you?" Draco asked, worried.

"Don't worry about it. I don't know why but somehow I think you're father won't do anything."

"So you're finally seeing the big picture. My father is not that bad."

"Maybe." Harry didn't seem so sure though. "Care to talk about why you got so angry about my resignation?"

Draco made a face. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Just tell me why you got so mad. Please? I want to understand the reason why you snapped the way you did."

Draco sighed. "If you were a Prefect, we would have our own rooms and we would be closer to each other. Get it? We wouldn't have to make excuses to meet each other late at night or use your cloak to deceive Filch."

"You'll still have a single room. We can meet each other there."

"Yes, but you'll have to sneak out of you dorm!"

"Why are you so worried? Don't you think I can handle Filch?"

"It would be so much easier if you had accepted the damn position as Prefect!"

Harry laughed. "That's it? You were mad because of that? It's so sweet of you, Draco."

"Don't mock at me, Potter!" Draco pushed Harry away but the brunette kissed him until he was short of breath.

Then Harry went to the bathroom, coming back a few minutes later with a big smile playing on his lips. Draco frowned. He'd heard the sound of water running and wondered what Harry was up to.

"I was thinking that it's better for you to clean your cut with soup. I saw Aunt Petunia doing it once. She said it was to prevent an infection. Are you up to a nice bubble bath?" Harry winked at him.

Draco grinned. "With you? Always."

                                                                 ------------

The atmosphere at Hogwarts on September first wasn't the most cheerful one, but Dumbledore and the rest of the staff tried their best to make life go on as normal as possible. Most of the students were scared of the future and what might happen to their families, but when they saw Dumbledore introducing the giants to them, they forgot for a moment about their fears, too amazed with the scene that was playing in front of them on the Hogwarts' grounds. 

Draco hadn't been on the train and he wasn't between the students either, but Harry wasn't worried. It was settled with Lucius that he would be the one to bring Draco to Hogwarts because he wanted to have a word with Severus. Harry was still stunned by the fact that Lucius had treated him if not well at least with good manners.

Meanwhile, James watched him from a window of the Hospital Wing. For the entire month, James had thought about talking to his son, only to realise that he was a bloody coward. It seemed like they had a quiet agreement. He didn't talk about Draco and in exchange Harry didn't ask him about Lucius. Their relationship also hadn't changed much, but they didn't avoid each other's company anymore. James liked to have Harry around, even if he stayed quiet the whole time.

"James?"

James turned around and met Remus smiling at him.

"Hi, Remus. I haven't seen you all day."

"I was busy, sorry. Tomorrow the classes will start and I want to be ready."

"I'm sure you're a very good professor, Remus. I still remember the days you used to help me and Sirius with our homework. You were always very smart, the smartest of us all."

Remus smiled sadly as he remembered the old days. There had been another boy that Remus had helped with his studies and that boy had been Pettigrew.  What was bothering Remus and Sirius was the fact that James never talked about Peter and acted like the worm didn't exist. He wished he knew what was going on inside James' mind. He wanted to bring the subject up, but he was scared of James' reaction.

"Did Harry talk to you about a secret library?" Remus asked, trying to forget for a moment what he really had wanted to ask James. 

"No. Why?"

"Well, he asked me about it. He said that Draco found it but by the time he took Harry there to see it, the library had disappeared and the passage turned into a solid rock. He thought that maybe I knew about it because of the Marauder's Map. I borrowed the map from him and tried to find the library myself but I couldn't."

"Why didn't he talk to _me about it?"_

"I don't know, James. Perhaps it's because you hardly speak with him."

James made a face. "You're not going to lecture me about it, are you?"

"No, I won't. But..." At James' glare, Remus decided to change the subject. "Never mind. It's your life, not mine. Anyway, the map doesn't show that room."

"It wasn't designed to show it if it isn't there anymore. You should've known about it. You were one of its creators, Moony."

Remus let his jaw hanging open as he heard his old nickname. He thought he would never hear it again. James noticed his astonishment and wondered if he should had stayed quiet, but as he stared deep into Remus' eyes, he realised that his friend was just touched.

"Dumbledore said to us once that there were many secret rooms in Hogwarts and even _he didn't know all of them. Those rooms were programmed to disappear or simply change their location to a safer spot. Maybe that was what happened. The Malfoy kid found it and the room located itself to another place. The map will only show it if it's there. If it's not there, then it means that indeed, the room just moved to somewhere else," James explained. _

"But then we should be able to find it, right?"

"Not really, Remus. There are places in this castle that are probably very well-protected. Like all of the founders' chambers. The only chamber they've found was Helga's, because she didn't have any secrets to keep from the others. But Godric, Salazar and Rowena... well, that's another story."

"Harry found the Chamber of Secrets."

"Yes, Sirius told me about it and you have no idea how mad I became after hearing it. In fact, I've heard all of Harry's adventures. None of them pleased me. He's so young to have to carry such a burden..." James looked disturbed for a moment. "Anyway, it wasn't the chamber of Salazar. It was just a place where he kept his pet."

"So the room Draco found it..."

"Could be a founders' room."

"Lucky bastard!" Remus muttered to himself.

"Indeed. Did he tell you what the books were about?"

"No. Draco said to Harry that he didn't read anything."

"Could he be lying?"

"I don't know. Why would he?"

"Maybe it was Salazar's personal library and he found something interesting in there that he didn't want to share with anyone. Who knows? You know I don't trust the Malfoys. And as soon as I stop being such a coward, I'll tell Harry exactly what I think about that hideous family."

                                                           ----------------

"That's pretty much it," Lucius finished his long monologue about Draco's strange illness. 

Severus stared at his old friend pondering about it, not quite sure of what Lucius wanted him to do. To him, it looked as though Draco was facing a very common problem at that age: puberty. But he'd seen Draco's pale features, paler than usual, and he worried. It wasn't like Draco to look so defeated and tired. 

"It could be depression," Severus suggested.

"No, I don't believe it. Draco is not the kind of person who gets depressed."

"And how could you tell? You barely speak to your son," Severus said coldly.

"I didn't come here so you could lecture me, old friend. I came here asking for you help."

Severus crossed his arms and stared at Lucius for a long time. 

"What?" Lucius asked, annoyed.

"You've been working with Ethan Clamch – the ex-boyfriend of my wife and the guy who wants to kill her. Tell me again, Lucius, my old _friend_, why should I help you in the first place."

Lucius grimaced. "First of all, you'll help me because it's Draco who's in trouble and you like him; I know you do. Second, I didn't know you were shagging Erin Jones at the time. I apologised about Ethan already. Why are you bringing this subject up?"

"It's because he's after her again. My wife is pregnant, Lucius, and I'll do anything to protect her."

"You really are in love. I'm stunned," Lucius smirked.

"Oh, just shut up."

"You know I work for Voldemort. That was never a secret between us."

"Just stay away from my wife."

"I'm not the one after her."

"Then keep Clamch away from her!"

Lucius sighed soundly. "Ok. If I find out something about him, I'll let you know," he said, irritated. "Now could you please focus on my son?"

"I'm surprised that you care for him!"

Lucius stood up and banged his hand on the desk. "I'm not in the mood for your games, Severus. If you don't know what's wrong with him because of your incompetence, then tell me now and I'll go away. Don't make me waste my precious time!"

Severus had seen Lucius losing his temper before, but never because of Draco. That was a new side of him that he didn't know. He was so surprised by it that he didn't care for the fact that Lucius had just called him incompetent. 

"What makes you think that I know what's wrong with him?"

"Because you're a Potions' Master and I think Draco has been poisoned."

"Poisoned? When? How?" Severus continued with the same cold pose but he was terribly worried on the inside. 

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"I'm good at what I do, Lucius, but not _that_ good. I need some time to research and run some tests on him. If there's something wrong with Draco, I'll find out. You don't have to worry about that."

"The symptoms don't ring any bells?" 

"No. Do you have some ideas about it?"

Lucius shook his head. "The only thing I know is that Draco hasn't been feeling well ever since he came back from that damn camp."

"Which you sent him!" Severus accused.

"FINE! It's my entire fault as usual. But I think the problem wasn't at the camp but at my house. I gained a house-elf last month… from Pansy Parkinson," Lucius said bitterly and before Severus could shout at him for his stupidity he went on, "I think the little bitch might have ordered the bloody creature to poison Draco slowly. You don't have to tell me how stupid it was to accept the bloody thing but she is Voldemort's granddaughter! How could I have refused it?"

"It's your damn problem, Lucius! You know Voldemort is not stupid! He must know about the love your son feels for Potter! And you're pretty dense if you think he's keeping you at his side because he likes you! He's up to something. He's always been up to something! If I were you, I'd disappear. You must be really blind to let something like this happen to Draco."

He was blind. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about James for the entire month. _Damn Potter!_

"Let me handle Voldemort and Pansy. Be sure you heal my son."

"I will. You have my word."

"Thank you. Owl me if you have any news." 

Lucius was about to leave when Severus' question paralysed him. 

"Have you heard about James Potter?"

"Yes." And before Severus could ask anything else, Lucius left. 

Lucius left the dungeons and climbed upstairs to have one last look at Draco and see how he was. He knew his son was at the Prefects room but he didn't remember the exact location of it. With his mind lost someplace else, he didn't see the other person coming right at him and he bumped into the stranger, falling on top of him. To his surprise, the stranger fought with him, seeming desperate to free himself. 

"GET OFF!" the stranger shouted.

"BE STILL YOU MORON!" Lucius shouted back. 

"Ouch! You poked my eyes."

"And you just elbowed me!"

They disentangled from each other but kept sitting on the floor. Since it was dark, they couldn't see each other's faces with clarity, but there was something about that guy that Lucius couldn't quite place. 

"Pay attention to where you're going, stupid, clumsy, asshole!" Lucius shouted one last time before dusting himself off. 

"And you should watch your language!" The stranger got up from his feet. "I don't recognise your voice. Who are you? You don't belong to the staff, do you?"

"Damn this dark place! Why aren't the torches lit? It's Dumbledore's fault! He had the brilliant idea of freeing the house-elves and now look at this place! Those stupid creatures don't do anything right anymore. It is such a shame! I'll make sure to tell the Headmaster of this den about his incompetence."

"Don't talk about Dumbledore like that!"

Lucius smirked, "Great. I just happened to bump into one of Dumbledore's admires."

"You're not from the staff," the man stated.

"And you're a genius to have realised that all by yourself. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go."

Lucius passed by the man and felt something poked on his back. It was the man's wand. He sighed.

"How dare you point your wand at me?" he hissed. "You don't know who you're messing with."

"Why don't you enlighten me?" the man asked seriously.

Lucius turned to talk to the man face to face and said, "I'm Lucius Malfoy. And you are…"

Lucius saw the wand slip through the man's hand and fall on the floor noisily. With his own wand, he lit up the tip of it and pointed at the man's face. He gasped when he saw the blue eyes staring at him with shock. 

"I'm James," the man whispered. 

Lucius knew it was a dumb question but he couldn't help but ask, "Potter?"

James nodded, his hands shaking. He never thought he would find himself face to face with Lucius that soon. In fact, he'd prayed every night never to meet Lucius again – even though a secret part of him wanted that meeting to happen. He'd also prayed for an aged, ugly and bald Lucius Malfoy, but he looked as handsome as ever. The white-golden hair was longer than he remembered and he stunned himself with the desire of running his finger through it. The grey eyes were as intense as before and James tried hard to look away but found it impossible to do it. Lucius had always had that noxious effect on him. He was like a powerful drug that you knew was bad for you but you couldn't let go.

Lucius also found himself too stunned and shocked to say anything. He wasn't expecting a meeting like that. It was too soon for him; he wasn't prepared. For a moment, he thought he would have an asthma attack from the impact of seeing James after so many years. And, by Merlin, James looked as beautiful as ever. His blue eyes were still as enchanted as before and his hair remained just as rebellious. To his annoyance, he felt the need to stroke that untamed hair and smash his lips into James'. 

"Lucius," James whispered. "I… How… Why…"

Lucius swallowed hard. "My son."

"What?"

And then Lucius had an idea. He decided to advance his plans and kidnap James at that instant. The opportunity was perfect. There was no one around and he could sneak out without any problems. He muttered _Stupefy_ before James could react properly and held him in his arms as he blacked out. But he didn't go too far, for Dumbledore appeared in front of him from nowhere and shook his head in disapproval. 

"I can't let you take him, Lucius," Dumbledore said calmly. 

"You can't stop me," Lucius defied him.

"Oh, yes, I can, and you know it."

Lucius snarled, "I won't harm him."

"Or so you think."

"No, I'm serious this time. I know you don't believe me but it's true. If I don't take Potter now then someone else will. Pettigrew is planning to turn James into a zombie. I have to protect him. Besides, we have some unfinished business to discuss.  Not that this is any of your business…"

"Hogwarts is safe enough."

"Oh, please," Lucius rolled his eyes. "I managed to open the Chamber of Secrets right under your nose and you didn't even notice until it was too late. You got some giants to guard the grounds but what about the tunnels? Do you really think those magical barrels will stop the Death Eaters? You have no idea how strong they are. Let me take James. I just… This will sound really stupid and not at all like me but… I want to protect him. I think I found a way to break the spell that connects him with Voldemort's wand." Lucius said with satisfaction.

"A dark magic spell?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. 

"Well…" Lucius seemed embarrassed. "Sort of."

"Hmm…"

"You know, it's not the magic that is dark, it's its intentions." 

"Oh, this is very philosophical of you, Lucius but you still can't convince me."

Lucius sighed. "What if I tell you the location to the Muggles' concentration camp?"

"Do you really think I would sell out James like this?"

"It's not like I'm looking forward to spending some time with Potter alone," Lucius lied shamelessly. 

Dumbledore pondered for a moment if Lucius deserved a second chance to redeem himself from his sins. Maybe James was the key to Lucius' cold heart. It was that thought and Erin's premonition about the two of them that made his decision of letting Lucius go, but with a few conditions. 

"You'll have to give me your word that nothing bad will happen to James. Then I want you to give me the location of the place where you're taking him. I'll be your secret keeper. Not only that, but I want you to take Dobby with you as well," Dumbledore began.

"Dobby? No way. I already have a house-elf."

"No James then."

Lucius breathed hard. "Ok. The stupid house-elf can come with me."

"I also need you to sign a contract of loyalty in the wizard's style. You'll have to sign it with your blood so there will be no doubt about your intentions towards James. I'll visit you every month to see how you and James are doing. Oh, and I want the location to that camp. Is that ok with you?"

"WHAT? This is outrageous!"

"Not as much as you trying to kidnap James under my roof."

Lucius thought about it for a while and he decided to accept it. He was telling the truth. He had no intentions of hurting James – unless, of course, the git hurt him. But all in all, he just wanted to talk to the git and bury their past – and his love – once and for all.

"All right, I'll do it. Let's get down to business, shall we?"

"I'm glad you accepted my conditions!" Dumbledore grinned. "Please, follow me, Lucius. We have much to talk about."

Lucius sighed, following Dumbledore to the Headmaster's office. He barely noticed the way he was holding James in his arms – like he was something so fragile that needed his protection. And he also didn't notice the way James cuddled against him. But Dumbledore did. And so did Draco, hidden in the shadows, watching them at a distance. 

A/N: Please, review!


	5. That's What Love Can Do

**Title:** TAKE ME HOME (5/?)

**Author:** blanchemalfoy

**Rating**: R

**Pairings:** **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warning:** This is SLASH (male/male pairing). 

**A/N:** Thanks to **Katie and Bunny-kuo**, my beta readers; and to the reviewers: **A**.; **Sarah**; **jeanniie**; **Claire**; **Patricia**; **Draco Malfoy-N-Harry Potter**; **J-J**; **barriotic** **barrio**; **dragons lover** and **Intangible Lollipop**.

Chap. 5 – **THAT'S WHAT LOVE CAN DO**

Many things had been bothering Draco lately, such as his strange illness that seemed to catch him once a week. Snape still hadn't been able to identify the cause of it and it was beginning to worry him. Then there was Harry, who was still angry with him for three weeks in a row, after the moment Draco had told him about James' departure. 

It didn't matter that Dumbledore had assured Harry that they could visit James every month. Harry wasn't very agreeable with the idea of being apart from his father again. After all, he was only beginning to know James better, and plus no one had bothered consulting him on the matter. Not only that, but Harry despised the fact that Lucius Malfoy, of all people, had been the one to take James away. 

Draco understood why Harry was angry, but didn't agree with the raven-haired boy's protests. To him, it would be a good experience for his father. Maybe James could save Lucius' soul. It was his opinion that they should be left alone so they could talk things over once and for all. They had a past together – that was a fact. It was up to them to resolve it. But Harry couldn't accept it, and he and Draco weren't on good terms at the moment. 

At least his duties as Prefect were keeping him busy – enough to distract him from his problems. But late at night, when he was alone in his bed, his mind always drifted away to Harry. He was too proud to write to Harry and tell him how much he missed his company every night. The stupid fight was really grating on his nerves. 

Close to midnight, he decided to go out for a stroll. He pulled on his cloak and walked out of his room. As he walked through the dark corridors, he didn't notice the shadow behind him, paying attention to every move he made. It was only when he reached the passage of the Prefects' bedroom entrance to go back to his room that the person following him made his appearance. 

"Malfoy," called a gruff voice that he recognised very well.

He turned around to stare at Gregory Goyle. Ever since the Death Eater's Camp they hadn't talked. Draco knew Goyle was too absorbed in his own power and ambitions to care for anything else. He also knew that Goyle wasn't just the obtuse guy who had protected him in previous years, which was why he had stayed away from him as much as possible. He didn't know why Goyle was there to talk to him, but he didn't like it. He had also called him Malfoy instead of Draco. That was definitely not a good sign. 

"What?"

Goyle gave him a wicked smile that caused Draco to raise an eyebrow.

"Are you going to stare at me all night? Honestly, Goyle, I know I'm gorgeous. Hell, I'm a god, but this is getting ridiculous. Is there a problem? Why are you here at this hour?" Draco demanded with annoyance. 

"Pansy told me to keep an eye on you; to make sure you wouldn't see Harry Potter.  But you didn't."

At that affirmation, Draco held his breath in bated surprise. He never realised Goyle would have the guts to talk to him in that manner. He knew the big fellow liked Pansy, but just now he was beginning to understand how serious he was. Pansy was just a spoilt rich girl who didn't seem dangerous at first, but that hid a vindictive and wicked personality under her dumb-girl act. And Goyle was her slave. She couldn't stand the guy but kept him close, using him as her personal thug not unlike the way Draco used to not so long ago.  

"What's it to you? Why do help her to keep track on me if you want her to yourself?" Draco asked without holding himself. 

"You just don't get it, do you, Malfoy!" Goyle shook his head and stalked towards him, his hands behind his back. "All these years, you thought I was just a stupid guy that you could boss around. All these years were an act, Malfoy. I'm not stupid. Maybe I'm not as smart as you in Potions or any other boring class, but I do know what I have to do in order to succeed in life."

Goyle circled around Draco as if he was a wild animal ready to strike. 

"Do you remember the incidents last year?" Goyle grinned demonically. 

"What incidents are you referring to?"

"Your father's forged note; the Quintaped; the tampered Bludger... I'm sure you remember them."

"It was _you? You were the one trying to kill me," Draco stated, his mind slowly assembling the pieces of the puzzle.  _

Goyle clapped his hands. "Congratulations, Draco! Ten points to Slytherin. I knew you were smart; smarter than Pansy anyway. Don't get me wrong… I do love her, but she can be really dense sometimes. And extremely stubborn. Plus, she's still in love with you. She wants you to suffer, of course, but she still has this stupid romantic idea that you'll be with her in the end. But you won't, of course."

"You were the one who summoned the Quintaped and tampered that Bludger? YOU?" It didn't matter how many times Draco repeated the statement to himself; he would never get over the fact that Goyle had been the one trying to kill him. _Goyle!_

They had grown up together, and even though Draco never trusted him enough to be his best friend – Lucius had taught him very soon not to trust anyone – he had at least considered Goyle to be his colleague. 

"Don't act so shocked," Goyle grimaced. "I'm capable of doing it. And I did it, too, if you don't remember correctly. I'm just as powerful as you are; especially after some special training," he paused. "So obviously, by now, you must have realised what I want from you. I want to destroy you once and for all so Pansy won't have any other choice but to be with me."

Draco shook his head incredulously. "You want to destroy me because of _Pansy? God, you're lame! The least you could do was to find someone better than her. She's not even good-looking! Actually, she has a–"_

"Just shut up, Malfoy."

"No, I'm serious. Pansy is your highest ambition? _Pansy_??" Draco couldn't prevent his mouth from curling into one of his patented smirks. 

"Pansy is only a means to an end. My highest goal is to be under the Dark Lord's preference. But I do love her, as I've told you before. We're soul mates. Soon we will be married and my life will be perfect. We'll kill Muggles together and so many other things," Goyle murmured dreamily.

Draco chocked in disgust. "God, you and Pansy really deserve each other. You're both sick."

Goyle laughed loudly. "Glad you mentioned it. We're not sick, Draco. _You_ are.  That's what I've been waiting to tell you ever since classes started. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. You were never my friend, Draco. Perhaps if you had treated me better in the past, I would be able to have a little mercy of you, but you didn't. It gives me great pleasure to inform you that you're poisoned."

Draco half-smiled, not quite believing him. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not. I'm really sorry to inform you that Pansy gave me total freedom to do it."

"You suck at Potions, Goyle."

"I wasn't the maker of the poison. He was a friend of my father, and he is now conveniently dead."

Draco mind whirled. "I'm not poisoned."

"Are you sure? Aren't you feeling a little out of breath lately? Haven't you been feeling nauseated? Don't you feel a certain urge to hurt the person you love the most? Those are the effects of it. The first three months you'll feel bad but not as bad as you'll be feeling later. The main quality of the first stage is an inexplicable rage towards your lover. You might even hurt him if the poison kicks in strong enough. I'm not sure if it will lead you to kill him, but a cool hex is a good start, don't you think?" 

If Draco had been asthmatic like his father, he would have probably dropped dead at that instant with the anxiety and nervousness that was washing over him. He felt as if an invisible hand had made his way into his heart, squeezing it mercilessly. 

"The next three months you'll get weaker and weaker until eventually, on a cold December day I hope, you'll die. You have six months to live. The house-elf administrated the poison in August so you have like…" Goyle looked up, making a face. 

Draco knew that face. It was the stupid face Goyle made when he was making a huge effort to think. 

"Basically, you did the math wrong, Goyle. I won't die on a cold day of December," Draco found strength to smirk. 

"Whatever. What matters is that you will die. That's enough for me."

Draco wished to break down and cry but held himself in check. "Pansy won't let you, right?"

"Pansy thinks she has the cure. She doesn't. I burned the book."

"There's probably another book about it."

"No. I only found this one and it doesn't exist anymore. It was a very ancient book, home made."

"Pansy will be very mad at her bad boy," Draco scoffed. 

"Let me handle Pansy. She'll get over it. She won't have another choice." 

"Fuck you, Goyle." Draco couldn't hold himself any longer. He grabbed Goyle by the collar in spite of his lack of size, his rage being enough to push the bigger guy away, making him land with his ass on the floor.

That made Goyle laugh even harder, and Draco wished he would choke to death. 

_'Why wait?' he thought, going for Goyle's throat. _

"YOU BASTARD, SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!" his enraged shout reverberated through the empty corridor. "You'll go to Azkaban for this! I'll fucking ruin your life before I die!" he kept yelling while his hands firmly suffocated Goyle. 

"Stop it! What are you doing?" someone shouted, pulling Draco away from Goyle. 

With an unstable breath, Draco glanced at the person who had interrupted him and saw Zabini. 

"What the fuck are you two playing at?" Blaise asked. 

"Fuck off, Zabini! This has nothing to do with you!" Draco fumed. 

Goyle got up and thanked Blaise for the appropriate arrival. 

"You'll be rewarded for this, Zabini. The Dark Lord will be please."

Even though Blaise's mind was working furiously, he decided to wait for the rest of the speech. 

"The Dark Lord knows about you and Potter, Malfoy, because I've told him," Goyle said with a smile of victory. "My plan was perfect for his achievements. Do you remember Celeste's amulet? Its effects could be broken by true love. This time, your _love for Harry Potter will make you even weaker. And who knows? Maybe it will kill Potter, too. I bet he would be broken when he found out about it. Isn't it glorious? But I'll give you the name of the poison. I love to play cat and mouse. This way I'll be able to watch your useless attempts of trying to find a cure and I'll have loads of fun with it."_

"What are you talking about?" Blaise asked, a sudden horror striking him.

Goyle didn't pay attention to him and kept talking to Draco, "There's nothing you can do to me, Draco. Nothing! Azkaban will soon be destroyed because the Dementors are on Voldemort's side now, and even if you tell someone that I'm responsible for your poisoning, there's no proof against me. I won, Draco! Can't you see? I won!" Goyle's eyes danced insanely. 

Draco was at a loss for words, but Blaise wasn't and he immediately took Draco's side.

"I can testify against you," Blaise threatened Goyle.

"Your word means nothing to anyone. I kind of like you, Zabini. Don't spoil everything by being on his side."

"What's the name of the poison?" Blaise asked without paying attention to what Goyle had said.

"It's Potion no 4 in a very ancient Dark Potions' book. It's called _Amarulentus. I don't know what it means, but it said in the book that '_bitterness shall be the poison of your soul; coldness will be death to your heart_'. It's kind of beautiful, don't you think? I've always liked poetry. Enjoy your death, Draco. I know I will."_

Goyle went back to the Slytherin dorm whistling happily. Blaise shook his head, wondering why he hadn't let Draco choke the son of a bitch to his death. He turned to talk to Draco and met him with a lost expression. Their relationship was complicated and Blaise was still hurt by the fact that Draco had turned him down once. But seeing the blond looking so destroyed made him forget about their differences for a while. Seamus – his lovely boyfriend – had taught him to be helpful when someone was in need. 

"Get up, Draco. We have the name of the potion or poison or whatever. We can work from there."

Draco looked up and smiled bitterly. "That's priceless. _You_ will be the one to help me."

"Hey, don't be so quick in discarding my help!"

Draco stood up with difficulty, his legs barely handling his weight. His body never seemed so heavy and he felt like he had been hit by a Bludger. All he could think about was that he would die and the cure was inexistent. 

"You're not a quitter, Draco. I know you'll fight this," Blaise tried to cheer him up.

"You don't even know what's going on, Zabini. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was with Seamus."

Draco sighed. "Look, there's nothing you can do, all right? Why would you help _me_?"

"I don't like Goyle, that's reason number one. And we used to be friends. That's reason number two. I heard enough and I want to help."

Mainly because deep down Blaise still felt something for Draco, but he would never tell him that.

Draco seemed thoughtful for a moment and then he sighed, "Help me get to Snape's bedroom. He probably knows something about this poison."

Blaise's eyes glowed with satisfaction. He didn't expect Draco to trust him that easily. But then, he realised that Draco had no choice. They headed silently to Snape's quarters, each lost on their own thoughts. Draco was thinking about Harry; Blaise was thinking about Seamus. Should he tell Seam about Draco? Draco decided for him when he put his hands on Blaise's arm. 

"Don't tell anyone about what happened tonight, not even Finnegan."

"Aren't you going to tell Potter?"

Draco flinched. "No. Not until I find out more about this."

"You're the boss, Draco," Blaise joked just like he used to do when they hung around together.

For the first time that night, Draco smiled.

                                                                       ------------

James woke up reluctantly and stretched his body. Outside, he heard the familiar song of a beautiful little bird with gold wings and green eyes. For three weeks, the bird had sung to him as if everyday it wished him good morning. He appreciated the company. The cottage he had been transferred to was located in a beautiful but strange place, and the solitude was his constant – and annoying – friend. Tiny – he'd named the bird – along with Dobby and a house-elf named Gelmina, were his only company.

He could understand the reasons why he had to hide in a distant and mysterious place, but he didn't know why Dumbledore had to do it without his consent and in such a hurry. All James could remember was to wake up in a strange bedroom, with a terrible headache, mumbling something about a nightmare with Lucius Malfoy. 

Lucius... James' eyes glazed over at the distant memory of the blond-haired man. The dream had seemed so real, but it couldn't be. He thought about asking the Headmaster if he had been transferred to that place because Lucius had tried to kidnap him, but he'd decided not to. He didn't want Dumbledore thinking that he was crazy or asking too many questions. 

Everyday, James took long walks, always escorted by Tiny or Dobby. Gelmina never left the house, and she seemed terribly upset that Dobby behaved with such insolence and freedom, which amused James. But even though he liked to pay attention to the house-elves quarrels, he missed his son the most and also the long talks he used to have with Remus. 

James was tired of being treated like a fragile thing, like he was a delicate flower. He wasn't fragile. In fact, he was a very strong person. Dumbledore seemed to think that he would be better in that place though – wherever _it_ was – and at least he would see Harry at the end of the week. 

With a sigh, he decided to get out of bed for his daily walk. He took off his pyjamas and only had time to put his pants on before someone burst into his room. He quickly turned around and his eyes flew open at the vision of a man who he knew pretty well. 

What shocked him the most wasn't the fact that Lucius was only a few meters away from him. No. The shocking thing was to realise that after all those years apart, he still remembered Lucius' scent, and his body still reacted to it. Lucius was as much disturbed by the meet as James, but he knew how to hide it pretty well. 

"Shut your mouth, Potter. With your mouth hanging like this, you look like a bloody fish and that's not at all attractive," Lucius harsh tone of voice broke the spell he had been drawn to and he bit his lower lip.

"What the fuck is this? What are _you_ doing here?" James got his wand at the bedside table quickly before Lucius could react and pointed at him. "How did you find me here? Are you alone? If you came here to take me to Voldemort, I won't leave without a fight! You'll have to kill me first."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Well, if you die, Voldemort will have accomplished his goal, you moron."

"GET OUT!"

Lucius smiled in a not so pleasant way. "This cottage is my property. I have the right to be here."

"_Your cottage?" James couldn't believe in what he was hearing. "But, w-what… I mean, what…"_

"Well, well, well. James Potter is speechless. But of course he is. Who wouldn't be in my presence? I am _stunning_ after all." 

"Just go to hell!"

"Yeah, in a few years that's where you will find me. Listen, Potter, I didn't come here to fight with you, even though the prospect does please me." Lucius seemed thoughtful for a moment, reflecting upon the idea, almost in a dreamy way. But that expression quickly vanished and Lucius got back to his nasty mode. "I'm only here because Dumbledore, the old fool, didn't tell you anything about our agreement."

"What agreement?"

"I'm your _host_, dear James. Aren't you thrilled?" Lucius smirked, "I was the one who dragged you here, with Dumbledore's annoying consent. He put too many rules in that bloody contract but what matters now it's that you're mine."

"What?" James gasped, "Oh, my God! Dumbledore would never do this to me! You're lying!"

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "The loyalty and admiration that you people have for Dumbledore really astonish me. You don't really think he's a saint, do you, Potter? Not Dumbledore. Someone told me once he had an affair with Voldemort." 

"WHAT?" James looked as though he would pass out. 

And suddenly, Lucius burst out laughing. James glared at him. 

"You're joking," James stated. 

"Of course I'm joking, Potter," Lucius kept laughing. "You really are a delicate flower! If I made up some nasty details about Voldemort and Dumbledore you would have probably fainted from the shock! You're so funny." 

"You're a sick person, Malfoy!" James grunted. 

"I know." What Lucius couldn't tell James was that the cold act was just a façade. Deep down he was very nervous to be in James' presence again. 

"So Dumbledore let _you bring me here? That's great! That's just great!" James opened his arms in defeat. "And I wasn't dreaming at all! You _were_ at Hogwarts! You talked to me, you bastard! And then you stunned me!"_

"Really?" Lucius smiled wickedly. "I knew my presence alone could stun anyone."

"Not like that, you idiot! You stunned me with a spell!"

"Don't call me idiot or I'll forget about my contract with Dumbledore," Lucius crossed his arms in a childish way. 

"God, you're still the same brat! What is this contract anyway?"

Lucius felt his face heating up and he wondered if he was blushing. Of course he wasn't. He wasn't that kind of guy. Why would he blush? Just because he had brought James Potter to a place he loved more than anything or because James had been sleeping in his bed for three weeks, it didn't mean he would be transformed into a soft person – and a person who blushed nonetheless! 

"I rented this place to Dumbledore. He let me bring you here because you and I need to discuss a lot of things. Of course, he wants to keep you safe from Voldemort. But I really don't care about it… I just… The thing is… Well, the thing is… that… Hell, why am I excusing myself? All you need to know is that you're here for your own good. Voldemort is after you and–"

"Voldemort is after everybody! What about my son? What about Harry? He's in danger, too! Why isn't he here?"

"As much as it hurt me to say it, your son can take care of himself very well."

"You should say it, since you tried to kill him!" James accused, enraged. 

"That's… not true." Lucius looked the other way.

"What about the Chamber of Secrets? You helped open it! You used an innocent child, who almost died because of it. And for what? For your ambitions! You're an evil bastard, Malfoy! Dobby said you tried to hurt Harry. I'm warning you right now that if you ever do anything against my son I'll kill you in a very painful way." 

Lucius remained with the same indifferent posture but deep down something inside of him ached. In his mind, he couldn't understand why he cared so much for James' harsh words. He loathed James with all his heart and the whole point in having him there was to convince himself once and for all that he felt nothing more for the goody-goody James Potter than contempt. But that thought didn't help dwindling what he was feeling inside. It was an ache that never seemed to go away; a twinge that had lodged into his heart ever since he had found about James. And it was that same ache that made him say something he never thought he would say to anyone in his life – anyone, except his father – and that he blamed for later on. 

"I'm… sorry," he muttered with extreme difficulty.

"What did you say?" 

"I said that I was sorry," Lucius muttered again, even lower than before.

James opened his mouth to speak, but let it half-open from the surprise and loss of words. A simple 'sorry' wouldn't fix things between them. There was too much pain and hatred in their past, but that simple word was Lucius' way of waving the white flag. Lucius wasn't the kind of guy who said he was sorry, and yet he had. He was calling a truce, and James wondered for a long time if he should accept it. 

"Why did you bring me here, Malfoy?" he decided to ask first.

"I've told you already!"

"I want the truth, the excruciating truth. You don't do anything just for the sake of it. You only do it if there's a personal gain to you. What are you planning?" Lucius' mouth opened up but James went on, "If you think I'm going to be some kind of slave to you, you can drop it right now! It's what you want, isn't it? You want revenge."

Lucius shook his head, wanting to hex James badly. "Do you really want to know the truth, Potter? Do you really want me to tell you something that I'm sure you're not ready to listen and that you'll quickly deny?"

"You don't know me that much," he said, annoyed. 

"Oh, but I do."

"What's the bloody truth? Why am I here?" James asked, losing his patience.

"It's because I want you here," Lucius said, trying not to shout. 

"That's not enough!"

"Do you want more? Fine! I'll give you more! I want you here because I need to prove myself that I feel nothing for you, not even the smallest attraction!" Lucius shouted, losing it, "Because I thought you were dead, you son of a bitch, and I got used to the idea. But you had to be alive and ruin it all! I want you out of my mind forever. I don't want to remember what we had ever again."

"We had nothing!" James quickly denied, as Lucius had predicted. 

"We did!"

"Just because you used me! I didn't know what I was doing!"

Lucius glared at him. "I can't believe you still think this! You're so full of shit! You know you liked it; both times! You even pleaded for me the last time so I could make you get off!"

James held the urge to cover his ears. "I didn't!" he exclaimed, but he knew he was lying and that he should stop doing the same act over and over because that stupid excuse didn't work anymore, not after so long. "Look, maybe I did feel something… Wait, let me finish. Maybe I was feeling the same way as you were, but don't you think it's been too long already? Why do we have to go back to it?"

"Because it's not over yet," Lucius stated with such conviction that James didn't know how to deny it.

"I won't be your bloody sex toy again, Malfoy! If you have some sick and twisted fantasy about me, a handcuff and this bed, you can just forget it! I won't kneel for you; I won't touch you; I won't do a bloody thing to please you not even if you have me under _Imperius_ again!"

Lucius sneered, "I didn't say anything about sex. In fact, I didn't say anything about a handcuff, but that's an interesting thought."

The horror sparkled in James' eyes. "Don't even think about it."

"Why not?" Lucius asked with a phoney innocence. "It was your idea."

"Go to hell."

"I suggest that you keep yourself comfortable. I'll have to take care of a few things that came to my knowledge just a while ago," Lucius' eyes flickered and James wondered what that was all about. "But I'll be back as soon as I can so we can discuss our present situation."

"We have nothing else to discuss."

"We do, Potter. And if you don't stop this act right now I swear I will use the handcuff idea!"

"Try me!" James's eyes had a certain something that Lucius couldn't quite place. 

The burned passion that remained dormant inside his heart raised itself in a second as his cool blue eyes gazed at James'. He'd forgotten how bloody teaser James could be. The guy could deny all he wanted about what had happened between them in the past, but it had always been James who had provoked him first. Lucius would have never done anything about that wrong feeling for James if it wasn't for James himself and that bloody kiss at the Quidditch pitch. It was all James' fault. 

Unfortunately, he couldn't stay and explore that sparkle he spotted in James' eyes. He'd received an owl post from Snape that morning and what he read made his blood run cold in his veins. It had to do with Draco and a very dangerous poison. He couldn't waste any time. 

"I'll be back, Potter, and then we'll talk things over once and for all."

"I won't talk to you. You're a murderer and a bloody bastard."

Lucius clenched his fists. "Whatever, Potter. But it's not like you have a choice."

Lucius didn't wait for James' retort. He went away without looking back.

                                                                       ------------

After an exhausting History of Magic class, Harry went in search of Draco, eager to see him. They hadn't spoken properly in a while and Harry couldn't make that situation last any longer. He was feeling sorry for being so inconsiderate when James had been taken away. Draco didn't deserve it, but he had been too angry at the time to care. Now he regretted it and he couldn't wait to ask for Draco's forgiveness the best way he could. In his hands he held something that he knew Draco would like it. It was a dragon's sculpture made of a special green ice that didn't melt. It took a great effort on Ron's part to get it for Harry, as sculptures like that cost a fortune and usually had concealed magical powers. 

"Hey, mate, where are you going in such a hurry? We have Quidditch training in a few minutes!"

Harry looked at Ron without seeing him, his mind far away as if he hadn't heard a word of what he had just said. Ron shook his head. 

"That's what love can do," he stated. 

"What?" Harry asked, totally dumbfounded. 

Ron laughed. "You're too cute for your own good, Harry."

Harry smiled. "Are you coming on to me, Gingerhead?" 

"You wish."

"What did you say before?"

"You looked like a fool in love, Harry. Your eyes were lost a hundred miles away and I said that that was what love can do to a rational bloke such as yourself. You were daydreaming about the brat, weren't you?"

"Yes," Harry confessed. "But I don't know if he's been feeling the same way about me lately."

"What are you talking about? After all you've been through you can't tell me that the brat felt out of love with you! Did he?" Ron was already anticipating a fight with Draco. 

"No. I guess not. I'm the one who hadn't been treating him well, Ron, and you know it. It was why I told you to buy the dragon for me. Thanks by the way. It's so beautiful. I still don't know how you got it. That woman from Hogsmead didn't want to sell it to me for anything!" 

"I charmed her."

"YOU WHAT?"

Ron laughed. "Calm down, Harry. I'm only joking. I told her that I was in love with a very special girl who deserved a very special gift. Then I told her about a soulmate's tale. Your tale, Harry. And she completely fell in love with it. See? If you had told her about you and Draco she would have sold you the dragon. She said the dragon is a soulmate's gift and it can only be possessed by a soulmate."

"Really?" Harry seemed enchanted by it. 

"Yeah. Sounds pretty corny if you ask me," Ron said and Harry glared at him. "You're such a corny guy, Harry. Honestly, I think you're the last romantic on earth! Please, tell me your secret, because I think I need to learn how to be more romantic," Ron sighed with a mix of sadness and resignation. "Hermione is not happy with me."

"I don't believe it, Ron," Harry quickly denied that absurd idea. "Where did you get this nonsense? She loves you!"

"Did she tell you that?" Ron looked hopeful. 

"Well, no, but… I'm sure she does, Ron. You know Hermione."

"I don't know. Things between us are not so great right now. She's been busy with her Prefect stuff, and I've been inventing things to keep _myself_ busy such as my new position as a Chaser on the team or the new classes with Professor Lupin and Erin about how to become an Auror. When we meet, she studies. She. Studies! And only because I want sex!"

Harry frowned, trying to take some sense out of it. "Are you pressuring her to have sex with you?"

"Of course not! I just want to discuss it, that's all." Ron looked the other way, as if he wasn't telling the exact truth. "Look, we can talk about this later. Just don't come with a lecture or I won't be responsible for my actions. And just remember this, you're getting some and I'm not."

"That's rude," Harry complained, making a face. "Besides, Draco and I are not… having... anything right now."

"You can open you heart to me, Harry. Just don't tell me the details because I don't want to know."

Harry shook his head and smiled. "All right, Gingerhead. I know how jealous you are of me."

Ron punched Harry on the shoulder. "News flash, Harry, you're not so handsome."

"That hurt, Ron."

Ron grinned. "Look, I'll see you in thirty minutes on the pitch, all right? We need to choose the new Captain of the Gryffindor team today, don't forget that."

"You're the Captain, Ron. You already sound like one."

"We're going to vote for it. _If the majority wants me as a Captain, then I'll gladly be the captain," Ron said with a serious expression and then he smiled, "Of course I would like to be the Captain. Did you know I have had a speech for the moment ever since I was eleven?"_

"Yes, I know," Harry also knew that Ron had a scrapbook where he wrote down all the moves and positions of Quidditch that he would like to try, which made Harry shudder at the thought that he would be worse than Oliver Wood. 

"I'll see you there, Harry."

Ron followed his way and Harry went to Gryffindor Tower to get his Map. It was the fastest way he knew to find Draco. But Ginny was expecting him at the Common Room with a book in her hands and a big grin on her lips. 

"Hi, Harry," she couldn't help but flush a little. She always flushed when she talked to him.

"Hi, Ginny." 

Harry tried to pass by her but she cut in front of him. 

"I was wondering if you could help me with my Dark Arts' lessons. I'm having some trouble with it and everybody told me you know a lot about the subject," she said quickly and her face reddened so much that Harry thought it would explode. 

"Ron knows a lot about the subject, too, Ginny. He's taking the extra-classes Professor Lupin is–"

"I know," she cut across him. "But Ron is always so busy."

_'So am I', Harry thought and almost said it, but as he stared at her big brown eyes he didn't have the courage to disappoint her. _

"All right, Ginny. But I can't have a look at it now. Sorry."

"Oh," her smile faded and the disappointment showed clearly on her face. "Ok."

Harry wondered if she knew just how transparent she was about her feelings. He didn't want to hurt her but only at that moment he realised it was almost impossible not to. She was in love with him; he couldn't play the dense guy anymore. But he didn't know how to tell her that even though she was becoming a beautiful woman, his heart had already been taken. Inadvertently, he caressed her face softly. 

"We talk later," he said before going to his room to get the Marauder's Map. 

He didn't see Ginny touching her face right where he had touched it before.

                                                           -------------

Harry found Draco in Professor Snape's classroom talking to Erin. As he entered the room he was bemused to spot Erin's concerned face and Draco's pallid features. He wondered what was going on, but as soon as they noticed his presence, they quickly disguised their true feelings. Draco wasn't so fast at hiding his desperation though, and Harry had a glimpse of it. 

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Oh, Harry, there you are!" Erin said, smiling. "Draco was just telling me how sad he was with you. You hadn't been talking to each other, right?"

Harry flushed. "Not exactly. And I thought that was a private matter."

Draco glared at Erin, not sure if he should be grateful for her help. 

"Honestly, Harry, there's no such thing in Hogwarts as a private matter," Erin said with a sweet grin and a mischievous look. "I'll leave you alone so you can talk things over and give it another shot. I mean it, Mr. Malfoy. Don't throw it all way just like that." She glanced at Draco, who was looking rather upset by her words. "Tell him how you _feel_."

When Erin left the room, Draco sighed. He didn't want to tell Harry yet. He didn't know if that was the right thing to do. Erin thought that he should, but Lucius and Severus thought differently. In their opinion, Voldemort would probably use Draco against Harry. Goyle had said it himself. Draco would hurt Harry unintentionally by his sudden outbursts. Not only that, but Harry wouldn't accept Draco's death and that would make him weaker. Even Lucius hadn't taken that well. In fact, he had made a huge scandal about it that same morning – to Draco's utter surprise. He had the impression that the house-elf who poisoned him wouldn't live to see the sunrise. 

There they were, Draco afflicted by everything that was going on and Harry looking at him with a tender but also curious expression. He didn't want Harry to look at him like that. He wanted Harry to hate him. His blue eyes flinched as an idea formed in his mind. That was exactly what he had to do. He would be a bastard, just like in the old days, and then Harry would hate him again. That way, Voldemort wouldn't be able to use him against Harry. 

"Drake, I'm really sorry about everything. I was pissed off because no one told me my father would be transferred, and the last thing I expected was your father to do it! The idea still doesn't please me but Dumbledore told me to trust your father, so I'll do it. In my own way, of course. You know I can't trust Lucius. Not after everything he has done."

Draco's lack of response surprised Harry. 

"I know you're mad at me, and you have all the right to be. I promise I won't be such a jerk again. I was thinking that maybe we could meet tonight and then I–"

"No," Draco interrupted him coldly. 

"No?"

"I have some stuff to do tonight," Draco said without any emotion. 

"You don't want to talk to me, do you?" Harry whispered. 

Draco closed his eyes for a moment, his hands shaking. He didn't want to give up on Harry but he felt like he had to. Snape knew nothing about the poison, so Goyle was probably right when he said there wasn't a cure for it. If he would really die, he didn't want Harry to suffer because of him. Harry would be weak, and Voldemort would kill him. That was the last thing Draco wanted. 

Erin told him not to do anything precipitate but what could he do then? Keep lying to Harry that he was all right when he wasn't? Harry wasn't stupid. He would put two and two together pretty soon if they kept seeing each other. But as he stared at Harry, he realised how weak _he was. He couldn't be apart from him. Not yet._

"Draco?"

Harry didn't like the way Draco kept staring at him with such a sad look. 

"What's wrong?" Harry asked anxiously.

"Nothing."

"You're lying. I can feel that something is wrong. What is it?"

 Draco didn't answer and Harry got closer to him. 

"What? Tell me."

Draco shook his head and without holding himself, he threw his arms around Harry and hugged him with all his might. Harry put only a few inches away between them to look into his eyes and he saw how lost the blond seemed to be. He opened his mouth to speak but Draco didn't let him. 

"I was thinking that even if I had been a Death Eater, it wouldn't make any difference," he muttered.

"Why are you saying this? Why think about this now?"

Draco caressed Harry's lips with the tip of his fingers and then kissed him tenderly. 

"If something happens, Harry, don't look back," Draco whispered against Harry's lips.

Harry shuddered at the thought, a sudden indisposition taking over him. "Draco, why–"

"Shush. Don't talk. Just kiss me."

Draco kissed him hardly, wanting to keep Harry's taste in his memory forever.

"Meet me tonight," Draco said.

"But I thought you said..."

"Forget what I said. Meet me tonight. I'll wait for you at the Gryffindor tower's entrance. I can take you to my room. You still don't know it," Draco smiled sweetly. "It's your fault, really. You've been so distant lately."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Harry. We'll see each other tonight, ok?"

Harry nodded. Draco gave him one last kiss and withdrew from him, walking towards the door. 

"Wait! I have something for you!" Harry said, taking the small dragon from his pocket and giving it to Draco.

Draco held his breath at the vision. "It's an _Argus_!"

"That's its name?"

"You didn't know?" Harry shook his head and Draco smiled. "Only you, Harry Potter. How did you get this? Argus' are incredibly hard to find! Those pieces are really rare. I still can't believe you got it!"

"I got it from the same woman I'd bought your ring from. She didn't want to sell it to me but Ron convinced her somehow. She said this is a very special object."

"It is. It's a guardian. They are very old and have a magic that no one really knows about it."

Draco caressed the dragon gently as if it was a pet and Harry's hand touched his. 

"I'm glad to see your eyes sparkling so much," Harry whispered. 

Instantly, a strange warmth emanated from the small object and a blue light twinkled, binding them. It vanished as quickly as it appeared, and it left Harry and Draco staring at it amazed. 

"What was that?" Harry asked himself.

"I don't know, but suddenly I feel great," Draco looked at Harry and smiled. "It's beautiful, Harry. I don't even know what to say. Thank you is not enough. I'll keep this at my bedside table."

"I'm glad you like it. At least it made you smile."

"You're so sweet, Harry."

"Yeah, sure."

"You are!"

They kissed, this time with serenity. Draco truly felt better, but he knew that feeling wouldn't last.

"So, we have a date tonight?" Harry asked him. 

"Yes, Harry. We do."

Draco smiled, trying hard to hide his sadness. He had just had a glimpse of what he could lose if he let Harry go. 

                                                                --------------

Remus liked to walk at midnight, when most of Hogwarts was sleeping. It wasn't a full moon that night, so it wasn't dangerous for him to be outside. Snape, the endless pessimistic, would tell him otherwise, that he should always keep himself in check, but Remus didn't feel like staying in his room that night. 

He thought about James and how angry he and Sirius had been when they had found out that none other than Lucius Malfoy had taken James away. To Sirius, it was a sign of Dumbledore's senility. The old man was losing his mind. But Remus knew that Dumbledore had a meaning for all of that madness. James and Lucius hadn't got over each other and they had to be on their own. 

With a sigh, Remus wondered what Sirius would say if _he_ told him about his real feelings. Last time they had been together, he had wanted badly to just kiss him once. Then maybe he would be able to move on with his life. But he did nothing. He couldn't. Sirius saw him as a friend and nothing more. He had Narcissa; he didn't need Remus to complicate his life. 

Remus also wished James could testify on Sirius' behalf, but they all agreed to wait for James' full recovery. Their confused friend didn't even talk about Pettigrew. It was like Pettigrew never existed at all. 

He looked up to face the moon. After so many years, that satellite had become a part of himself, and he couldn't help but love it. His heart clutched. The moon was also the lover's shelter and he wondered what it would be like to stare at it with someone beloved by his side. He wished he had a different life. All around him people were in love or at least dealing with it. But he had always been alone. Just once, he wished to live a passion as strong as their friends'. That was the only way to forget about his impossible love for Sirius. 

He looked down and was ready to return to the castle when his acute hearing captured a moan of pain. He followed the weak sound until it got stronger, and it led him to the lake, where he found a person lying on the floor, very close to the forest. 

Quickly, he ran towards him and knelt beside a young man completely wet, muttering incoherently. Remus could only distinguish two words being repeated over and over. 

"G-green f-flame," said the stranger, before falling unconscious.

Remus didn't lose any time. He woke up Hagrid and made the giant help him take the stranger to the Hospital Wing. As he watched Madam Pomfrey taking care of the guy, he ordered Hagrid to get Dumbledore and warn him of the incident. Later on, when the stranger was sleeping peacefully in his bed, he wondered how that guy had appeared there, right under the giants' noses. 

He could smell trouble ahead. 

A/N: Please, review!


	6. Secrets and Lies

**Title:** TAKE ME HOME (6/?)

**Author:** blanchemalfoy

**Rating**: R                 

**Pairings:** **Draco/Harry**; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warning:** This is SLASH (male/male pairing). 

Thanks to: **Hyperbole** and **Katie**, my sweet beta readers! And to: **Draco Malfoy-N-Harry Potter**; **dragons lover**; **barriotic**** barrio**; **Myr**; **Sarah**; **Crystal*Fantasy**; **Lilyria Ali**; **Marzipan**; **Mooney**; **Belle**; **lark57**; **Nila**** Amber**; **Jenn**; **Rachel**; **Riisha**; **Alyssa**; **yumi-no-baka****; Patricia**; **Justice-hime** and **blueMoon**. I apologise for the delay and hope you enjoy this chapter! PEACE to us all!

Chap. 6 – **SECRETS AND LIES**

Severus Snape had never understood how the feminine mind worked. Erin was the worst of them all because _she_ was his wife and was pregnant with his baby. He knew he had to be patient with her, but her constant mood swings were driving him nuts. But no matter how much hard work she could get in a day, he was totally in love with her and that was something extraordinary for a guy like him. It was his love for her that had given him strength to endure her daily crying sessions over nothing at all and had made him put up with her strange taste for weird combinations of foods such as ice-cream with broccoli. 

He had put up with many things in the name of love, but his near infinite patience had a limit. There was a thin line between the things he could tolerate for love and the things he _wouldn't_. Erin's long lost brother was one of them. 

His name was Alexis Lestrange, a man with dark hair and eyes and an intense – and yet dark again – gaze. He was the kind of guy that women seemed to be so fond of, not just good-looking – even though Severus didn't pay attention to a _man's beauty – but with a something extra added to it. He was the dangerous type, the kind of man that you would forbid your daughter to go out with – but you knew that she __would. Black had been like that in the past. In fact, Alex – who had been rescued by Remus Lupin from dying of hypothermia – resembled Sirius Black a lot and that was why Severus didn't trust him. _

Alex had told them a very well-elaborated fairytale about belonging to a group in Romania who was against Voldemort. He had travelled so far because he had heard about Erin and it had been too long since their last meeting. He needed to see her and warn the Order of Phoenix about the Green Flame – Voldemort's new goal. But Severus had his doubts about it. To him, Alex was hiding something. All that façade could have fooled Erin and Dumbledore, but it wouldn't fool him and Lupin – who told him that his werewolf sense had felt something wrong about Alex. 

Erin, too happy with her brother's return, seemed to be blind about Alex's true intentions. Severus wouldn't allow him to hurt his wife. He would rather die first. 

"Sev, aren't you coming to bed?" Erin asked from the door. 

"I'm waiting for Draco. He's coming to pick up his restorative." 

Draco. The boy didn't deserve what was happening to him. He was such a brilliant boy – his number one student – and if Severus didn't find the cure to the _Amarulentus poison - which wasn't the most dangerous poison ever created but with dreadful effects - he would never forgive himself. Not that he would let that happen. He _was_ the best Potion Master of his generation. He _would_ find a cure no matter what. _

He had already discovered – thanks to Lucius' vast collection of dark books – the ingredients of the poison, something that the stupid Goyle hadn't thought they would. 

The good news was that Draco wouldn't have to put up with Gregory Goyle anymore, because the boy had left to join his father and Voldemort's cadre. If Goyle hadn't left, Severus was very sure that Dumbledore would have had him expelled. That or Lucius would have finished the boy off. 

The bad news was that Draco's temper was getting worse by the day. Severus caught him more than once shouting and being spiteful with the others – especially the Hufflepuffs. Draco didn't seem to be getting a hold of himself anymore, and he had fought with Harry because of it, making the raven-haired boy seek comfort in Ginny Weasley. Severus knew all of this not just because he had been paying attention but also because Draco had made him his confident _again_ – to his distress. He hated to be someone's confident. 

To Draco's relief, Severus had come up with a restorative tonic to help him to control his violent impulses. So far, it seemed to be working. 

"Sev? Sev?" Erin's soft voice brought him back from his thoughts. 

"What?" 

Erin sighed, "Never mind." She sat on his lap and rested her head on his shoulder, whispering, "I'm worried about Draco."

Severus grimaced, "Aren't we all? Even Lucius is worried, and that's _something_. He told me that he is doing the best he can to find the book that has the cure for _Amarulentus_. I'm stunned. It was as if Draco's poisoning has awakened his father's instincts. He's even thinking about contacting Narcissa to tell her about it."

"Oh, my. Narcissa will be devastated when she hears about it." Erin shuddered. "Can you imagine what it's like for a parent to know that their son is dying and that they can do nothing about it?" Severus gripped her hands. "Draco is being so strong about all of this. I know he hasn't been feeling well and yet he says nothing! He doesn't complain, he doesn't cry… He even pushed Harry away to protect him. I don't know why he did it! Harry has the right to know. It's not like he won't know if Voldemort is really using Draco against him."

"Draco doesn't want us to tell him, Erin, and we will respect his decision."

"I don't like it and I don't think its right. Harry is suffering, I feel it. He doesn't understand what is going on." Erin looked at him in a way that Severus didn't like it, and the moment she began talking again he knew why, "You should talk to Harry. I'm not saying that you should tell him, just… make him realise that something is wrong! He has a bond with Draco and I don't understand why it isn't working. Why can't he _feel?"_

"I don't know, Erin. But since we're talking about feelings, why can't _you_ feel that something is not right with your brother?" Erin made a face but Severus went on, "I'm serious! You know he's lying to us!"

"He's not lying!" she objected. "He's just… omitting… stuff about his past. It doesn't mean that he is lying." 

"Oh, please! It's a matter of semantics, for Merlin's sake! Omitting, lying, it's the same damn thing! I'll make him talk, Erin, whether you like it or not. I'll prepare some truth serum for the Order and–"

"No way! You won't do it! You wouldn't have the guts!" 

Their eyes battled silently. Erin didn't want to scare her brother away before she even got to know him; and Severus was only trying to be reasonable. He wasn't born yesterday. Something wasn't right with Alex and he would find out what it was. He had a family, something he'd never thought he would have, and he would do anything in his power to protect his wife and child. 

Their gaze was broken by Draco's arrival. 

"Sir?" 

"Come in, Draco." 

Erin looked at Draco's pale features with worry. "You should tell him, Draco," she said.

Draco didn't say a word. He just waited for Severus to hand him the restorative. 

"Draco…" Erin called him and he looked up. "You're a fighter. You've been through a lot lately and yet you don't whine and you don't give up. But I think that if you tell Harry about what's going on, his love will help you even more." 

"I know. It's just… I don't want him to suffer. I don't want…" Draco's voice failed. 

"He's already suffering."

"Yeah, right," Draco grimaced. "He's hanging out with Ginny Weasley now."

"That's not true." 

"You know, Draco, if you don't tell Potter about it then I will," Severus threatened. 

"No! I'm not ready to tell him! Dammit!" his anger started to rise and he felt a pang inside his heart. 

Severus knew that he could only imagine what was happening inside of Draco but he would never really _know. He couldn't possibly know what it was like to be young with your whole life ahead of you and at the next minute find out that you were dying and that you had only a few months left to live. Wait a minute. Actually, he did _know._ He had been a Death Eater for Merlin's sake! He had all the right to threaten Draco. At least Draco had people around who cared for him. _

"It doesn't have to be this way," Severus told him kindly, so kindly that even Erin looked at him thunderstruck. "The fact that you're keeping secrets from Potter is making your behaviour worse than it should be and you know it."

Draco breathed hard, took the restorative in his hands and nodded. "I know. I know. But I saw him with Weasley today and she really loves him. I think… it's better this way. If I die, Harry will have someone to comfort him. Maybe he won't even suffer too much. He will remember me as a distant memory. That's how I want it to be."

Severus held the urge to shake Draco until he got out of that depressive state of mind. Instead, he said harshly, "You won't die, Draco! Goyle lied to you! He was just toying with you. He wanted to hurt you and he did it! We'll find a cure somewhere. Dammit! I'll discover it even if it kills me!"

Draco looked at him with astonishment and admiration. He never thought Severus cared for him so much. That same odd behaviour was happening to his father as well, who was writing to Draco every day to find out about his current state. Draco had never felt so loved by those two men who were considered by many as only harsh and cold. 

"I appreciate what you're doing to help me, Professor. I really do," he smiled weakly before he left. 

Erin hugged Severus, her eyes full of tears. "Why is this happening?" 

"Because we're stupid, that's why! We're all stupid. But Lucius deserves the medal for being the most stupid of us all. He could have prevented all of this if it wasn't for his damn ambitions and his fear of Voldemort." 

"At least this incident with Draco seems to touch his cold soul," Erin reminded him. 

"I hope so, Erin. I hope so…" 

                                                   -------------

Draco's soul was giving up. For the past two weeks he'd been trying to fight the harmful effects of the poison without any success. Every day, a void grew inside his heart, taking control of him. He was colder than any Malfoy had ever been. But that wasn't because of the poison alone but rather for the fact that he wasn't with Harry anymore. Harry was the light of his life; he was the one that kept him good and strong. Without him he was nothing but a pathetic rich spoiled-brat. 

He didn't want to be that way. He certainly didn't find it funny anymore to make stupid comments about someone's lack of manners or money. He had grown up; he was more mature. He didn't need that life anymore. He had passed that. Or had he? 

His love for Harry had made him more mature and that was the simple truth. He was weak without Harry. That poison that took over his body slowly and ached inside his heart didn't even compare to what it was like to be without Harry. The sad fact had been proven. He couldn't live without Harry but _Harry_ could live without him. 

Because of that he had surrendered himself to his true nature. His father had warned him about it. He had guaranteed to Draco that there was no way of escaping the Malfoys' curse. His ancestors had never met love. The ones who had, had died of madness or been murdered. And Draco was the living proof that the curse was real. Malfoys weren't supposed to love. 

The poison itself wasn't making him darker. _He_ was responsible for that. 

With all those dark thoughts on his mind, his vision began to blur, and he would have fallen on the ground if Blaise hadn't caught him quickly. 

"Merlin, Draco! You still didn't take the restorative, did you?" Blaise asked with Draco in his arms. "I can't baby-sit you, you know?" 

"Sod off, Zabini!" Draco found strength to shout. "This sudden kindness of yours makes me sick!"

"_Kindness_? I'm not kind, Malfoy! I'm your worse nightmare!"

"Yeah, right," Draco sneered. "You and I both know that this is not true. Why are you helping me, Zabini? And don't say some shit about not liking Goyle. You want something. What is it?" 

Blaise sighed, "Maybe I just want to be your friend."

Draco stared at him in disbelief. "Bullshit. You want something else. You want _me, don't you?"_

Blaise didn't look at him because deep down he knew it was true. Not the whole true though. Draco had been his obsession for so long that he just needed closure. He needed to prove to himself that he felt nothing for Draco anymore and so far he was succeeding. But every once in a while he had the urge to kiss Draco, just to _know_. He loved Seamus but he just couldn't forget Draco. 

"No!" Blaise denied after a while. "I don't want you."

"Liar," Draco stated, his eyes twinkling in a way that Blaise didn't like. 

Usually, when Draco had that look, it meant that he would do something he would regret later. Blaise had learned to read Draco's eyes. He had to, since Draco had been too unstable to deal with lately. 

"I'm not lying," Blaise snarled. 

"You are. I notice the way you've been looking at me. Seamus isn't a good lover, huh? I guess he's not handling you very well," Draco smiled viciously; his lips close to Blaise's. "I'm a good lover. Ask Potter and he will tell you all about it. Of course, Potter is too sweet, you know? He's not into the kinky stuff. But I bet you are. What do you say, Zabini? It's a hell of an offer. You can have me. I'm offering myself to you."

Blaise never thought he would live to hear that. He knew Draco wasn't himself. In fact, that Draco was scaring him. He was tempted to accept it, but he knew it wasn't real. He knew what Draco was doing. Blaise had done the same thing in the past. He was trying to hurt himself in order to _feel_. 

"You don't know what you're talking about. It's not you, Draco! It's the p–"

"Shush." Draco placed a finger in Blaise's lips. 

Blaise felt Draco's lips claiming his own urgently. He didn't kiss Draco back but he also didn't pull away. There was only one name screaming inside his head and it was Seamus. It wasn't a bad thing that Draco had kissed him because now he knew who he really loved. 

But he didn't count on something or even someone. Someone that was as shocked as a person could be by the scene that was playing right in front of his eyes. Harry was right behind them, his green-leaf eyes shining with unshed tears. 

Blaise saw Harry trying to articulate the words but he could bet that they were all stuck in his throat. 

"W-what… w…" 

Blaise stared at Draco, whose eyes seemed terribly empty. 

"Why?" Harry whispered. 

"Because I can," Draco said coldly. 

Harry shook his head, shaken. "This is not right."

"Sod off, _Potter. I don't need you anymore." _

"I d-don't u-understand," Harry's voice shattered.  

"Then you're really dense." 

Draco's voice was so sharp that it cut across Harry's heart like a knife and there was nothing left for him to do but to run away. Blaise cursed under his breath and then looked at Draco with incredulity. He was loss for words as much as Harry had been and the only thing he managed to say was 'fuck'. 

"What the hell did you just do?" shouted Blaise but Draco didn't react. "He's going to tell Seamus! Are you mental? Do you want to ruin _my_ life? Because you just did! Dammit, Malfoy! You ruined your life as well! Go after him! Explain to him what's happening. That wasn't you, right? That's not you!" 

"You're wrong, Zabini. This _is_ me. This is the _real_ me," Draco replied indifferently. "I should thank Goyle for showing me what I'm like for real. Potter was just a detour from my path. Warn everyone that Draco Malfoy is back." 

"What? You _are mental! I'll go get Professor Snape."_

"Don't bother. I'm fine. In fact, I've never been better."

And before Blaise could do or say anything else, Draco muttered the password to the Prefects room and vanishing inside the secret passage, leaving a very horrified Blaise at a loss at what to do. 

                                               ----------------

When Draco entered inside his room, he instantly began to shiver uncontrollably. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, trying to understand what he had just done. 

"What did you do? What did you do? What did you do?" he repeated over and over. 

_'You blew it,' answered his reflection. _'It was about time if you ask me. You're a Malfoy! You're finally acting like one!' __

"NO! That's not true!" Draco shouted. 

_'Oh, yes, dear, it is. Now you're finally seeing it. Voldemort will be pleased.'_

 "NO!"

_'We are what we are, dear. You can't escape from your destiny.'_

Draco shook his head fiercely. 

_'Harry hates you now. You saw it. You saw in his eyes. He didn't even stay to fight for you.'_

"Oh, God, Harry." Draco shut his eyes tightly, not able to look at himself anymore. 

He had hurt the only person that he would die for; the sweetest person he had ever met. His father was right about his personality. Malfoys eventually screwed up things really badly. He had just seen it. Worst of all, he had felt it, and Harry – his sweet Harry – had a taste of his dark side, too.

Inside his head, the wicked voice kept poisoning his soul, telling him to do things he didn't want to, ordering him to go back to Voldemort, to fight for his cause. He didn't deserve someone like Harry; he was worse than scum. He was evil and there was no way out of that. His destiny was bound to the Dark Lord, not to Harry. 

Still, Draco fought against the voice that was trying to possess him completely. He let out a screech, picked up the first object that his hand touched and tossed it with all his might against the mirror, as if that alone would stop the voice. The mirror shattered into tiny little pieces making a big crash. He cared neither about the mess he had made nor for the fact that his hands were bleeding. He trashed the rest of his bedroom, knelt down on the floor and cried. 

A few minutes later, Hermione managed to unlock the door, finding him with blood in his hands and with an empty expression. 

"Holy shit! What did you do?" She knelt beside him with a desperate expression, not quite knowing what to do. "Talk to me, Draco! Are you all right? What happened here? For Merlin's sake! Talk to me! Are you hurt?"

At the word 'hurt' Draco smirked in a sad way. 

"Yes, I'm hurt," he muttered, still looking empty and giving her the creeps. 

"Where?" she took his hands gently but apart from a few little cuts, there was nothing wrong.

"Here." Draco placed a hand on his heart. 

"Oh, Draco… What did you do? What caused this rampage?" 

He shook his head, the words refusing to leave his mouth. 

"I think half of the school heard you. I wouldn't be surprised if Snape came in at any moment. Would you rather be with him? I can call him for you if you want me to." She tried to stand up to leave but he dragged her back down. 

"Don't go. I don't think I can be alone right now."

"What happened, Draco?" she asked tiredly. 

He sighed sadly, and after a deep breath, he started his long narrative about what was happening to him. To his surprise, after the end of it, he was feeling quite lighter, like a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. 

Hermione was shocked about the whole thing. She asked him many questions but he failed to answer most of them. Draco didn't know much about the poison. Snape had given him a restorative that wasn't working at all but he had said it was to sooth the Potion master's heart. 

"The restorative was supposed to placate my anger but so far it hasn't done much."

"Why didn't you tell Snape that?" Hermione asked angrily.

"Because… I don't know. He seemed so optimistic that I didn't want to spoil it." 

"But, Draco," her voice was soft but firm, just as if she was talking to a child, "If you don't tell him the truth then how the _hell_ do you think he'll be able to help you?" 

He frowned. "You've been swearing a lot lately, haven't you?"

"That's not the issue here! Why haven't you talked to Harry? He's been miserable for the past few days, wondering what the hell was wrong with you and what _he did wrong to make you look like a train had rolled over you, and now look at what you did! Zabini is right! You ruined it all!" _

He looked at her with despair. 

"I know," he whispered.  "Why do you think I had a nervous break down? That it was nothing? I know I screwed up royally with Harry." He passed the hand across his hair, messing it. "I don't know why I did it. It was stronger than me. I just had to hurt him. Goyle warned me about this. I guess it was all for the best. Now Harry will hate me but at least I won't be able to hurt him anymore."

"BULLSHIT!" Hermione shouted with all of her indignation. 

Draco's eyes flew open but before he could say anything, someone knocked on the door. 

"Is everything all right?" the Hufflepuff Head-Girl asked.

"Yes, everything is fine. The show is over. Go back to bed," Hermione said and Draco almost smiled at her tone of voice. 

The girl didn't knock again, clearly afraid of Hermione's bossy tone. 

"Now, Mister, you and I are going to have a long talk. And when I say long, I really mean it!" 

It was amazed to Draco how Hermione did seem to care for his fragile state but she didn't treat him as if he was about to break. Professor Snape and Erin had been treating him as if he was a delicate flower but Hermione thought differently. 

"You shouldn't believe Goyle! He is lying to you. Work with me here! He said Voldemort knows about it, right? Then why hasn't he done anything yet? If I were him, by now I'd have sent Harry a ransom note; make sure that he knew what was going on with you so I could hurt _him_. But so far he has done nothing! Don't you think this is a little suspicious? Pansy also doesn't know either! Goyle said it himself! He did it all alone," she stopped for a moment to make a face. "Well, not _all_ alone because he's not _that_ smart. But anyway, he just wanted to teach you a lesson, to make _you suffer; to make _you_ lose control and you played his game!" _

Draco raised an eyebrow, cussing himself silently. Why hadn't he thought about that before? 

"You just fell like a stupid bug into a spider web! You men are so stupid…" 

"Hey! He's poisoned me! Do you have any idea what it feels like? My life is slipping through my fingers and I can't do anything to prevent it! The process has already started. I've been feeling ill and hearing voices!" he fumed. "Do you think it's easy? It's not! I'm bloody hearing _voices_!"

"You're right, it's not easy," she said in a motherly tone of voice. "I'm sorry, Draco. It's just that I can't stand to see you like this. You had a major break down today." She looked at the trashed bedroom and sighed, "If you did this here, I can only imagine what you did to Harry. He must be feeling very depressed… Maybe I should go after him."

That thought hadn't crossed Draco's mind. He worried, wondering if _he_ should go after Harry. 

"Do you think… do you think he would do something…?" Draco couldn't finish. The thought was too unbearable for him to handle at that moment.

"No, not Harry." Hermione thought about it for a moment, making Draco even more nervous

 "Hermione…"

"NO! Harry won't do anything. I _know_ he won't. But you'll have to talk to him tomorrow!"

"He won't understand. He will never forgive me." 

Draco buried his face on his hands, hating himself for being so weak. 

"He will. He loves you."

"But I hurt him too much. And with _Zabini_!"

"Poor Zabini. He is more amiable this year, you know? Why did you do it?"

"I just had to. Something compelled me to do it." 

"You'll fix it all tomorrow." 

"Tomorrow might be too late."

He said it with such conviction that Hermione shivered. 

"You don't mean it."

"What about Ginny? They seem so close…" 

"Harry doesn't love Ginny."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"After all you lived through with Harry you still have doubts?" 

"You make everything seem so silly and simple and yet it's not."

"I know, Draco. But the fact is that I'm sure Snape will find a cure for your problem. Every poison has an antidote, it doesn't matter how hard it is to find. And Snape is very competent. He _will_ find it I'm sure of it. In fact, I'll help him with it."

Draco smiled weakly. "Thanks, Hermione. You're really something."

She blushed slightly. "I'd never seen Harry as happy as when he was with you. I believe that you are soul mates. And I'll do whatever I can to help you, for you and for Harry's sake as well. Well," she stood up and stretched. "Let's clean those cuts on your hands, clean this bedroom and go to bed."

"I don't feel like cleaning this now…"

"Well, I suppose we can clean it tomorrow."

"Why don't we let the house-elves do the job?"

"No way! They're not your slaves, you know? You did this, you'll clean it!"

Draco sighed, "All right, but not today."

"You can't sleep here. Let's go to my bedroom."

He smirked. "Well, Hermione, are you asking me to sleep with you?"

"Not like that, _perv! Besides, you'll sleep on the couch!" _

"Do you have any idea about what might happen to your reputation if…?"

"Who bloody cares? People are already talking about me because I _left_ _Harry to be with Ron. Besides, since when you're so polite?"_

He glared at her but decided to say anything. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, Draco. But you'll have to promise me that you'll tell Harry the truth about the poisoning."

"I will." 

"Good." Then she smiled mischievously. "Now, Mr. Malfoy, let's go to bed."

He smiled feebly, trying to look as confident as her, but inside he was a wreck. He wondered if he should go after Harry; beg for his forgiveness at that moment. But he was scared. Something in his heart was telling him that it wouldn't be easy to win Harry back. Not after what he had done. And Draco cried in silent despair. 

                                                   -----------------

From Remus' point of view, it was very disturbing to look at Alexis Lestrange, mostly because of his eyes. Alex's black eyes were not only dark but hypnotic as well. Such eyes were an invitation to the most delicious temptation. Remus had been quite surprised about the way Alex made him feel from the start. The moment their eyes had met, he felt a tingle running down his spine, a weakness that he couldn't understand. 

The only one that had made him feel that way was Sirius. The only difference was that Sirius didn't look at Remus the way Alex did, like he wanted to devour him completely. Every time they'd met, Alex hadn't talked much; he had just stared in that seductive and annoying way that Remus couldn't help but respond to. 

It had been attraction at first sight. Every time their gazes met, Remus' body reacted to it. He was scared of those feelings that he could neither control nor understand, mainly because he didn't trust Alex's intentions, but he couldn't help the tingle and the dizziness that came upon him every time Alex had passed by him and brushed his hands on his slightly. It was lust in its purest state. 

But so far Remus had been doing a good job of keeping a safe distance between them. At least until that night. 

He was reading his students' assignments when Alex abruptly appeared at his door with a predatory expression. Remus stared at him, puzzled. As Alex got closer to him, his nose picked up something that startled him. When he looked deeply into Alex's eyes, he knew for sure what he had just sensed.

"You're… y-you're a-a…," Remus stuttered. 

"Yes," Alex answered in a guttural and sexy tone of voice. "I'm a werewolf, just like you."

Shock was the simplest way to describe what Remus was feeling at that moment. Alex's stare set him on fire and quickened his breath. He knew now what drew him to that mysterious man so much. It was the recognition of the wolf. He was surprised that he hadn't sensed it before.

"What do you want?" Remus whispered, trying to break his gaze from Alex's but failing miserably. 

Alex smiled in a way that made his insides burn. "I thought it was obvious. Can't you sense it?"

Remus shook his head and gulped. He _knew_ what Alex wanted but he wasn't ready to face it.

Alex pulled Remus against his body and the tip of their noses touched. Alex's male scent made its way into Remus' nostrils, making him moan involuntarily. They were going too fast for Remus but he couldn't help it. The feeling was too strong for him to ignore. 

"It's amazing," whispered Alex, his breath caressing Remus face like a gentle breeze. 

"What?"

"The way you make me feel. I read about it a long time ago but I never believed it." 

"What did you read?"

"About the werewolves mating."

Remus flushed slightly. He'd read something about it when he was a teenager, and again when he was called by Dumbledore to teach DADA. Not that he would teach about the sexual habits of any of the creatures he would have to talk about, but that was a subject that interested him, after all, he was a werewolf and he knew very little about werewolf mating rituals. But one thing he knew for sure: werewolves didn't mate for life but could be bond to another werewolf if they shared the same chemistry. Obviously, he and Alex were exuding lust from every pore. 

Alex smelled his face in a sensual way, almost as if caressing it, and he closed his eyes with a sigh. 

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" Alex chuckled softly. 

"Tempting me."

"Yes."

"I don't think we should be doing this. I don't know you."

"The werewolf knows me, Remus Lupin. You should know by now that when the werewolf wants something, you should rather let him take over or you will suffer. You can't tame the wolf inside of you."

"Yes, I can. I'm not an animal," Remus protested weakly.  

"We're all animals, Remus. When it comes to lust, there's not much we can do to stop it." 

"That's not true." 

But Remus didn't seem so sure of it when he felt Alex's tongue making its way into his mouth. For a sweet moment he gave in to that strong attraction, but then Sirius' image appeared in his mind and he quickly pulled away. 

"I don't love you," he protested once more. 

"Love has nothing to do with this," Alex stated as if he was ten times wiser than Remus. 

"But…"

"Why do you struggle? It's useless to resist, Remus." Alex softly stroked Remus' face. "We belong to nobody and to everyone at the same time. Don't believe me? Try to see how many marriages are really happy. What connect us are lust and the desire to breed. I don't really care about breeding for obvious reasons. My family line is all messed up. So, Remus Lupin, what's wrong with having a little fun? You look like you need it."

Remus always had very strong beliefs about family, friendships and love, but suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore. He couldn't think at all with Alex nibbling his earlobe, his neck, his chin and his lips. It didn't seem so wrong to just surrender once to that feeling. He had always been the one full of principals and higher beliefs and for what? His life sank lower at every breath he took. He was broken inside. Why shouldn't he allow himself a few moments of carefree pleasure? 

Alex kissed him almost carefully, waiting for his approval. He stopped thinking and kissed the other man back. To hell with rational thoughts and Sirius! To hell with his distrusts for Alex and his real intentions! He would take that moment as if it was the last one of his life. He would take it without a second thought. 

Next thing he knew, they lay down side by side, impatiently taking off each other's clothes. And the last thought that crossed his mind before he lost himself into Alex's ministrations was a very wise old saying: _'be careful what you wish for'._

                                                    --------------

Harry lost track of time as he wandered through the corridors. Time was the last thing on his mind. All he could focus on was Draco – _his_ Draco – kissing Zabini of his own free will. There had to be a perfect explanation to that. It wasn't Draco. Draco would never do that to him. Zabini was wicked; he must have done something to hurt Draco by hurting Harry. Yeah, that was a good explanation. 

His Draco wasn't cold. The _former Draco was, but that was in the past. _That_ Draco had been all an act. Maybe the hideous scene with Zabini had been an act, too.  _

Harry finally slipped to the floor, too tired to carry on. Silent tears were running down his cheek. He knew he should have stayed there and yelled at them, but the sight of Draco kissing _Zabini wasn't easy to handle. His heart had shattered so painfully that now it seemed very hard to breathe. Even if it was Draco, why had he done it? _

He wished he had strength to think rationally, but at that point he just wanted to shrink and wane. 

He knew Draco hadn't been himself ever since that day at Diagon Alley, but just at that moment he realised how serious the situation was. Draco had been clearly avoiding him for the past few days. Something was wrong, he could feel it. Perhaps, if he wasn't worried sick about his father being at Lucius' mercy, or about his nightmares about Voldemort, he would have paid more attention to Draco. 

But then again, what if Draco didn't want him anymore? What if Draco wanted to stay with Zabini?

There were so many questions popping up on his mind that he didn't notice Blaise's approach. Only when Blaise cleared his throat did he finally look up to face his new enemy. What he saw made him confused. Far from looking superior and triumphant, Blaise looked rather upset.

"What do you want?" Harry asked sternly, wiping away his tears. 

The last thing he wanted was to cry in front of Zabini. 

"It's very nice to see you, too, Potter," Blaise sneered. 

"I can't believe you have the guts to show up here." Harry got to his feet up and stared at him with a belligerent expression. "Speaking of which, how did you find me here anyway? Have you followed me?"

Blaise showed him a familiar piece of parchment that he recognized as the Marauder's Map. 

"Hey, this belongs to me! How did you get it?" he put his hands in his pockets, finding nothing. 

"It's yours then. You must have dropped it when you saw Draco and me together. I found it on the floor. I have to say this, Potter, it's a very cool map you have here." Blaise handed the map to Harry, who picked it up quickly and put it back in his pocket. "The bloody thing cussed me! Who are Prongs and Padfoot? You and Weasley?"

"What did they say to you?" 

"Nasty things…" 

Harry smirked, "I'm so sorry to hear that."

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

"You just fucking kissed my boyfriend!"

"He was the one who kissed me."

Harry counted to ten, his face reddening from anger. "What the fuck do you want? To brag about it?"

Deep inside he wanted nothing more than to punch Zabini. Suddenly he hated everything. He hated his life, Zabini and all that stupid war. He hated Dumbledore for always being so mysterious about things. But he hated Draco the most. 

Blaise sighed, "You know, when I got here, I promised to be loyal only to myself. Things changed a little when I met… Seam… and believe it or not, I can't stand the fact that when you tell him about what you saw, he will never want to talk to me. Seam and I are really… close." Blaise moved on his feet uncomfortably. "The thing is, Potter, I don't want to mess things up with him."

Harry smiled bitterly. "Really? You should have thought of it before!"

"How would I know Draco would kiss me? He has never liked me that way."

"Just buzz off, Zabini, before I lose control and hex you," Harry threatened, his hand gripping his wand. "You know I have all the right to. You fucking kissed _my boyfriend! I should challenge you to a duel!"_

"Oh, come on, Potter! I'm not here to fight you. I'm not here to apologize, either."

"You don't want me to tell Seamus what a prick you are."

"Oh, Seamus knows that already. It's just… I want to be the one to tell him."

"How bloody noble of you," Harry sneered. 

"Fuck you, Potter!"

"No! Fuck you!" 

Harry couldn't hold himself anymore. He needed some relief for the anger and hurt in his heart, so he punched Blaise on the face. Blaise struck him back and soon they were rolling on the floor. After a while, Blaise asked him for some time off. Harry got off of him and they stared, panting. 

"We'll duel, Zabini, tomorrow. Meet me at the Astronomy Tower and we'll solve this once and for all."

"No, Potter."

"Chicken!"

"Just… Merlin! You're so annoying! Just hear me out, ok? I've been thinking… Since my loyalty is only to myself, and now to Seamus, I can tell you what's going on with Draco. The prick shouldn't have done that! I mean, maybe if he had done it sooner…"

"Cut to the chase, Zabini! What's going on with Draco?"

"He's dying."

It was like a bomb had dropped on Harry's head. 

"What?" he whispered, suddenly very white.  

"You heard me. He was poisoned and…" And Zabini told Harry all he knew. 

At the end of the narrative, Harry was feeling even angrier and more scared than before. He hated Draco for not telling him anything, for leaving him in the dark. Who did Draco think he was to hide such a major thing from him? 

"Why didn't he tell _me_?" Harry asked to himself.

"He was trying to spare you."

"Jesus." Harry passed his hands across his hair in despair. "Fuck."

Blaise didn't like the way Harry's breath quickened and he wondered if the raven-haired boy would have a collapse. 

"Are you all right?"

Harry glared at him. "What kind of stupid question is that?" 

"You don't look so good, that's all! Be glad that I care!" 

"Fuck off." 

"I would be glad to, Potter. My job here is done anyway." Blaise stood up. "What will you do?"

"First I'll kill Goyle. Then I'll kill Voldemort."

"Yeah, right."

Harry shot him an angry stare. "Don't believe me? Wait and see." 

"Whatever, Potter. Just don't tell Draco I was the one who told you–"

"Actually," Harry cut him off, "I don't want _you_ to tell Draco that I know about his poisoning."

"Why? Aren't you going to talk to him? He needs comfort, trust me."

"He betrayed me."

"Oh, please! He did it to protect you. Even the kiss. I don't think he knew what he was doing. I think he kissed me to make you hate him. I'm positive that he knew you were right behind us and that was why he put on that show."

"I'm…" Harry took a deep breath. "I'm confused. I'm feeling so many things right now."

"I understand." Harry frowned and Zabini added, "I am what I am, Potter, but believe it or not, I do have a heart. And I do understand. I also understand Draco. He's scared, even though he tries not to show it. Why don't you talk to Snape? He's the one helping Draco after all. I'm not a good listener, so… I'm out."

Blaise turned to leave but Harry called him back.

"What, Potter?"

"Thanks for telling me this."

Blaise just shrugged and left, leaving Harry alone with his dark broodings. So many different thoughts crossed his mind that night. He sobbed as he considered what could happen to Draco if a cure wasn't found and the word revenge kept shining in capital letters. 

He still hated Draco for not telling him anything, but at the same time he loved him even more than before, if that was possible. Close to 2am, he took his map out of his pocket and checked it for the location of Snape's quarters. It didn't matter that his nose was dripping blood, and that his head ached. It also didn't matter how late it was. He and Snape would have to have a long talk. 

A/N: Please, review!


	7. In The Still of The Night

Title: Take me Home (7/?)

Author: blanchemalfoy

Rating: R

Pairings: Draco/Harry; Lucius/James; Hermione/Ron and others.

Disclaimer: not mine, of course… except for Erin and Alex!

Warning: slash.

Thanks to: Hyperbole, Katie and Bunny-kuo, my beta readers, and to all the reviewers!

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay once again. This chapter is bigger than the usual so I hope you like it! For those who asked for Lucius and James, here they are! 

Chap. 7 – IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT****

James recollected a particular night of September, twenty-nine years ago very well. He had been a scared seven-year old boy on his first day of wizard's primary school, and it would have been his first night away from home. He remembered how the bigger boys used to pester the new kids and how some of them had pestered him until he'd cried. A boy with white-blond hair and silver-blue eyes had stood up to defend him. 

James had gazed at the little boy amazed with his courage. And to everyone's surprise, at the sight of the little one, the bullies had stepped aside and had never bothered James again. 

***Flashback***

_'Are you ok?' asked the blond. _

_'Y-yes.__ T-thank you.' James stuttered. _

_They just stared at each other for a long time. James saw something in the boy's eyes that he couldn't quite place. Warmth came over him, telling him that it was all right to trust that boy because somehow they were the same, although he didn't have a clue about how he knew that. All he knew was that he liked the way he felt when he looked at the blond boy. _

_The silver-blue eyes fixed on him in a disturbing way. 'What's your name?'_

_'P-Potter.__ J-James Potter.' _

_Something changed in Lucius' attitude at the sound of that name but he introduced himself all the same. _

_'I'm Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy.'                _

_'Nice to meet you.'___

_James outstretched his hand but Lucius didn't take it. _

_'I can't be friends with you,' Lucius explained coldly. _

_'Why not?'__ James' expression was one of utter confusion. _

_'You're a Potter. The Potters and the Malfoys have been enemies ever since Merlin's days.'_

_'That's silly.'_

_'It's not. My father warned me not to be friends with the wrong sort. It wouldn't look good to my image and reputation. But...' Lucius' eyes glittered but it quickly vanished, giving place to a colder look. 'No, sorry. I can't. Just stay away from trouble. Don't let those guys get you.'_

_Lucius turned to leave but James caught his arm. The raven-haired boy saw in Lucius' eyes a fear that he couldn't understand. Was he afraid of his touch? Or was it something else? It didn't matter to James. All he wanted was to know why Lucius seemed to be so cold and defensive at such a young age. While the other boys of their age were talkative and friendly, Lucius wasn't like that at all. But before James could say something, a man came into sight and broke their gaze apart._

_'Mr. Malfoy, is everything all right?' asked the creepy man. _

_Lucius shivered slightly. 'Yes.'_

_'You should be in your dormitory. Your father asked for specific accommodations. He doesn't want you to mix yourself with the **others**.' The man stared at James as if he was a cockroach. 'Come on, let's go. I'll walk you there.'_

_Lucius shot James one last meaningful look before following the man. A few minutes later, Sirius appeared at his side with a worried expression._

_'James, are you ok? Someone told me there were guys harassing you. Sorry for leaving you alone. I know I'd promised not to do it, but Headmaster __Seymour__ called me in his office. Where are they? I'll kick their asses! '_

_James smiled at his best friend. 'It's ok. Someone defended me. I don't know what he did to them but I don't think they will bother me again.'_

***End of Flashback***

That had been the only time Lucius had stood up for him. After that day, they hadn't talked anymore. Not that James cared. Sirius had been there for him, always by his side, best friends for life. But somehow... somehow he couldn't help wonder what it would have been like if he had insisted on being friends with Lucius. At the least he should have investigated the role that the creepy guy played in Lucius' life back then. He never bothered to know, mostly because Lucius had turned out to be an annoying spoiled brat. Just like in Hogwarts, years later. 

Annoyed with his memories, James tossed and turned in his bed, trying to find some sleep. His thoughts came upon Harry and how worried he looked last time James had seen him. Being the usual coward, James hadn't asked too many questions. He certainly hadn't asked about Draco Malfoy and his place in Harry's life. But he could feel that something wasn't right between the two of them. He wondered if Harry and Draco were just like him and Lucius and if they would make the same mistakes all over again. That was something that James didn't want to happen, and he promised himself to talk to Harry on his next visit once and for all.  

Two weeks had passed after Lucius' last visit. After their first meeting, Lucius had come again just once, only to arrive quiet and leave mute. It had been as if James was invisible. It wasn't as if James expected a warmth welcome and a heated kiss. He did NOT want to kiss Malfoy. In fact, he was actually glad that the prick had ignored him. 

Lucius had looked concerned about something. James had been expecting the smug Lucius. The smug Lucius was easier to handle. But that other Lucius, the one with distant but troubled eyes had disturbed him. The fact was that James couldn't stop thinking about him and the meaning of his eyes. A part of him needed to know what was going on while the other part kept repeating that Lucius wasn't trustworthy, that he was just one of Voldemort's pawns. 

With a sigh, he tossed and turned again, almost kicking the blankets out of bed from frustration. His body was strangely hot, like a sudden fever had taken over him. Thinking of Lucius always had that effect on him. He didn't know why he felt that way after all those years. It wasn't normal. It should have something to do with the fact that a part of his soul was in Voldemort's wand. Maybe the dark side of him had stayed and his consciousness had been taken away. 

To cool his head, he got off from the bed to take a stroll. Gelmina would probably scold him by saying that Lucius had given her strict orders not to let James leave the cottage in such improper hours. James would laugh at her by saying that he wasn't the kind of man who accepted Malfoy's orders, and so life would go on. He was used to Gelmina's stressed behaviour at that point. He sometimes found it funny, but most of the times it was just annoying. Lucius was the one to blame for that since he was her _master_. 

When James stepped into the living room, he noticed that the fireplace was burning. That could only mean one thing. Someone was coming through it. Three seconds later, two people landed on the floor. One of them was a blond woman with beautiful eyes who he recognized as Narcissa Malfoy. The other person was Lucius, lying unconscious at her feet. James gasped. It was much later that he understood why he felt as if all the air around had suddenly vanished, making it almost impossible to breathe. 

"You are Narcissa, right? What happened?" James asked quickly, kneeling beside Lucius.

Narcissa looked at him as if she had been taken by surprise. 

"Oh. I didn't expect you to be up this late," she explained quietly, her eyes shimmering. "Where's Gelmina?"

Before James could open his mouth, the always serviceable Gelmina entered the room followed by Dobby. 

"What happened to him?" James insisted, annoyed that Narcissa wasn't paying attention to him. 

She made a gesture with her hands for him to wait and gave orders to the house-elves to accommodate Lucius in his room. Using magic, the house-elves took Lucius away under James' vigilant eyes. After they were gone he turned to Narcissa again and asked the same question. This time, as she carefully inspected his reasons, she answered him. 

"He had an asthma attack, a very strong one. But I think he'll be fine."

"He still has those?" 

"Oh, yes. He still has those, especially when he's feeling trapped."

"Trapped?"

Narcissa sighed and sat on the couch staring at her shaking hands. "He killed Goyle today."

"What?" James whispered.

"Usually I would be disturbed by the idea, but somehow I can't feel sorry for the bastard."

"You're talking about Geoffrey Goyle? The one who used to hang around with Malfoy at school?"

"Yes, that's the one." 

"I thought they were on the same side."

"They were. But I guess something is happening to Lucius." She glanced at him strangely. "Goyle's son did something terrible to _our_ son…" her voice failed. "He has poisoned Draco with some kind of potion that no one knows the cure to.  I found out about it just yesterday and I went to confront Lucius. I was convinced that he was the one responsible for it, but when I arrived at the Mansion, I found a man that I did not know. It was Lucius, but somehow it wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"He was in a state of shock, mumbling. It was hard for me to understand what he was saying but when I did I found out he had killed Goyle because he refused to tell him where Gregory was."

"Gregory?"

"Goyle's son." She made a gesture with her hands. "Anyway, Crabbe was there, too, and with the help of two Death Eaters they took Lucius to Voldemort. It turned out that Voldemort knew nothing about the poisoning, but he found everything rather interesting. Because of Goyle's murder, Lucius was considered a traitor to put under trial, but he ran away before they could lock him up. When he got to the Mansion, he found out that the Aurors were looking for him. They wanted to arrest him for Goyle's murder. And Lucius snapped. I found him in a secret room of the Mansion, and if I hadn't been there at that exact moment to help him…" Narcissa stopped abruptly. She didn't want to think about that. She'd always hated Lucius, and had even wished his death, but Draco cared for him and her son, who was already suffering a lot, would be devastated if Lucius died.

James touched her hand in support and she looked at him, stunned to see him right in front of her, alive. She hadn't thought much about James, although Sirius had told her all about him. It was amazing to see him there, in Lucius' precious cottage. 

"How is Draco?" he asked gently. 

"I don't know. Sirius went to Hogwarts to have a look at him for me. I'm going there, too. I just needed to see Lucius first." She stared at her feet and smiled feebly. "Did you know that Sirius and I had an affair while I was married to Lucius?" James shook his head while she went on, "We did. And for a long time I thought that Draco could be his son."

"With all due respect, I saw Draco and he has Lucius written all over his face." James blushed slightly as the remembered their encounter and the kiss.

"I know. But a girl could hope, right?"

"I guess by your tone of voice that Lucius was a terrible husband and father."

"He wasn't that terrible, just… distant. But what could be expected from a guy like him? Lucius' father was a cruel man, probably crueller than Voldemort, if that's possible. No one taught Lucius how to love. And since our married was arranged, I never really cared to understand him. In fact, I hated him every day of my life."

"It's hard to love him. He doesn't make things easy… for anyone," James said in a significant tone of voice.  

"Oh. Ooh." 

It was as if a thunderbolt had suddenly struck Narcissa and she finally understood a lot of things about Lucius, especially an episode, sixteen years ago, when he had been desperate to reach James a day before he'd died. At the time she had thought that he was disappointed for not being the one to kill James, but she realised now that it was quite the opposite. Lucius had tried to warn James that he was in danger and when he'd failed, he'd felt devastated for months. 

James, she noticed, didn't seem to realise the magnitude of his sentence.  Did he know just how much he had given away by saying that? Did he realise what he really felt? She didn't know for sure if she was getting the signals right, but she had the strong feeling that not only James loved Lucius but her husband loved James as well. That knowledge made her hope for Lucius' redemption. 

"I'm glad that you're here, James. Welcome back." 

"Thanks." 

Narcissa shot him a meaningful look that James didn't comprehend or he preferred not to. 

"I have to go now," she said, "Could you take care of Lucius? I don't think he'll get worse but someone needs to keep an eye on him. Gelmina knows what to do in case he doesn't get any better. You don't have to worry. Dobby also knows a lot about Lucius."

"I know. Dobby told me a few things. Don't worry about Lucius."

"Oh, I'm not worried." She smiled. "You're here, right?" 

James frowned at that, not knowing what to make of the subtle insinuation behind her words, but didn't reply. Long after she was gone, he found himself lying beside Lucius in bed, admiring how peaceful he looked when he was sleeping and paying attention to every little detail of his face, from the long eyelashes to those luscious lips that he had once tasted. Many thoughts crossed his mind, from hate to pity. He thought about his son and wondered if he knew about Draco. Then he thought about Draco and his Lucius-like posture. It was amazing how much Draco looked like Lucius. But even though they looked the same, James had the feeling that Draco didn't agree with his father's beliefs. Draco had the Malfoy's attitude but somehow he seemed to have a quality that most Malfoys didn't have. In his silver-blue eyes there was kindness. He wished that Dumbledore and the rest of the crew would be able to find a cure for Draco's poisoning soon. 

James didn't blame Lucius for killing Goyle. He would have done the same thing for his son. A dark thought had been crawling in his head lately. A short, chubby figure used to sneak under his mind and try to get to the surface of his memories but something – probably James' fears – was blocking it. The figure reminded him of the worst betrayal that a man could suffer. 

James shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to remember whatever it was. After a while, he fell asleep. 

                                                           ------------

Lucius woke up very slowly, yawning and stretching. He turned to the side and his hand met another. In his semi-conscious state of mind he thought that Narcissa had never had such strong hands. He thought better and came to the conclusion that the hand couldn't belong to Narcissa because his wife hadn't shared a bed with him in a long time. Not only that, but Narcissa had left him a few months ago. 

The strong hand caressed him tenderly and he froze. His eyelashes flew open and he found a pair of blue eyes gazing at him sleepily. 

"ARGH!" he shouted, making James jump from the bed. 

For a moment, Lucius thought he would have another asthma attack from the shock, but curiously, he didn't. 

"Jesus, Malfoy! Did you have to shout like that?" James complained, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Lucius opened his mouth to speak but not a sound came from it. He tried again without success. He was too surprised to say anything. 

"Well, well, well," James sneered. "The _great_ Lucius Malfoy is stunned and speechless!" 

Lucius made such an offended expression that James couldn't help but laugh. Lucius mumbled something not so polite and he quickly recomposed himself. James didn't like the way the silver-blue eyes suddenly sparkled as if something very good had occurred to him. 

"Well, Potter, if you hadn't _caressed_ _me_, I wouldn't have reacted like that," Lucius sneered back, making James mad at the reply. "Honestly. The sight of your ugly face was enough to scare me to death and you had to touch me as well!" 

"Ugly face? You didn't seem worried about my _ugly_ face when you were lusting for me!" James retorted. 

"That's because I wasn't lusting for your pretty face but for your body, moron!"

"Oh! So you admit that you lusted for me!" James exclaimed triumphantly. 

"I never said I didn't!" Lucius sulked. "In fact, you were the one who had morals, Potter, not me! You lusted for me as well but your Gryffindor pride and stupidity would never admit that you desired a Slytherin, and not just any Slytherin but the sexiest and hardest to get of them all."

James rolled his eyes. "Oh, please! You're so full of yourself!"

"I'm adept to the saying that if no one exalts me, then I'll exalt myself."

"There's one word to describe you, Malfoy: V-A-I-N. Vain!" 

"Shut up.  What the bloody hell are you doing in my bed anyway?" Lucius looked around and frowned. "Even better: What the bloody hell am _I_ doing here?"

"Your wife brought you."

"You mean my _ex_-wife," Lucius informed him coldly. "Why?"

"You killed Goyle and because of that Voldemort and the Ministry are after your head. You are _officially_ an outlaw."

Lucius pale for a second and then he held up his chin high. James had always hated when he stuck up his nose like that. 

"So?" Lucius shrugged. 

"So? I'm not the one who had an asthma attack." 

"And I'm not the one with half a soul," Lucius retorted as if he was a child.

He instantly regretted his words but didn't apologize. 

"Are you sure?" James replied grimly. 

Lucius sneered, "I guess we're even. You have only half of your soul and I have no soul at all."

"I'm glad we put things in perspective." 

"Yes, we're both screwed up. You still didn't explain to me why you're here. And where's Narcissa?"

"She went to Hogwarts to see your son. I'm sorry about Draco. She told me what happened." James purposely avoided the first question. 

"Yeah, that's my life. My life has been a living hell ever since I took my first breath." Lucius looked sad for a moment. "But the kid is tough. I'm sure he'll get over it. I'm actually glad Narcissa brought me here. I happen to have some very ancient Dark Magic books in the cottage's basement. Maybe there's a cure to Draco's poisoning in there."

"I should have known this place wasn't just for peaceful and quiet moments. You hide forbidden things here, right? Things you don't want the Ministry to confiscate."

"You're a genius, Potter. You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" Lucius smirked. 

"Fuck you." James grumbled and then said softly, "I'll help you find it." 

Lucius stared at him and said a quick 'thank you'. 

"I also have a book for your problem, Potter."

"What do you mean?" 

"I can call the missing part of your soul back from Voldemort's wand."

"How?" 

"It's not a simple spell and it requires the help of a potion. Severus will have to help. I hope you don't mind."

"Like you care!" 

"You're right, I don't!"

"Do you call him _Severus_? How intimate of you. Did you fuck him, too?" 

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "Why do _you_ care?"

"I don't!" 

"Good!" Lucius stood up quickly. "You know what, Potter? You're still as annoying as ever!" 

Lucius prepared himself to leave the room with his usual elegancy but he didn't expect to feel dizzy when his feet touched the cold floor. He tottered, his vision suddenly black. James enlaced him but Lucius tried to push him away, clearly not wanting to be touched by him. They fought for a while until Lucius gave up. 

"I'm trying to help you!" James grumbled. 

"I don't need your help!" 

"I should have let you fall!" 

"Why haven't you?"

They stared, only to realise how close their faces were. Their noses touched and their breath quickened. James closed his eyes, his mouth brushing Lucius'. Lucius didn't close his eyes. He was too busy watching James. It was amazed how James could lose control when they were together like that, only to ferociously deny what he was feeling later. 

"Kiss me," he heard James whispered. 

"No."

James' eyes flashed open. "Why not?"

"It's because you're not under _Imperius_. What's the fun in that?"

"Fuck you!"

"You would love that, wouldn't you?" 

And before James could reply properly, Lucius' lips closed over his. James instantly reacted to it, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. There was something about Lucius' kiss that pushed him to the edge of reason. It had never been soft and tender between them but rather rough and desperate. This time wasn't any different. The only difference was that Lucius was the first to pull away and not James, who stared at him with his eyes lost in a daze and his mind many miles away. 

"You want me," Lucius stated, recognizing the same lust in James' eyes as many years ago.

"What makes you think of that?" 

Lucius almost smiled. "Well, perhaps it's because I can feel your hard-on pressed against me."

"I'm not the only one, Malfoy. You're as excited as I am."

"Yes, but there's a difference between us."

"And what is it?" 

"I can pull away whenever I want, Potter. The question is, can you?" 

Lucius drew back, his eyes never leaving James. He wanted to stay but he knew he couldn't. It was as wrong to be with James at that moment as it had been all those years ago. They weren't made for each other. Lucius knew very well that his life would never be a fairy tale simply because fairy tales didn't exist. Not for him. His life was doomed to eternal loneliness.  That was why he would step aside and risk losing something precious. 

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"The sun hasn't risen yet. I'm going to sleep in another bedroom. This is yours now, right?" 

"You don't have to."

"I do."

"Why?" James didn't want to sound anxious but he did.

"Because… you don't really want to follow the same path again, do you?" 

Lucius tried to get out before James could reply but couldn't do it. James' next words paralysed him. 

"What if it's not the same path? What if we find a new one right in the middle of the old?" 

"It's too late for that, Potter." 

There was a sad resignation in Lucius' voice, and James wished to contradict him but he couldn't. There were too many bruises between them, too many lies, too many things left unsaid. He was scared of his feelings as much as he had been in the past. And that was why he let Lucius go. 

                                                           ---------------

"So, let's review the plan again, shall we?" 

It was the third time Harry had wanted to review the plan. Ron was tired of it already and so far they hardly had a plan at all. All Harry had done ever since he had woken up was to ramble on about Draco being poisoned and how they had to save him fast. His _ingenious_ plan consisted of three steps. The first one would be to send Pansy a message to meet him in Hogsmeade. Once there, he would try to convince her to help Draco. The second step was to brew a Polyjuice Potion and add a lock of her hair to it. And then there was the third step, that Ron had chills only to think about. Hermione would have to drink the potion and disguise herself as Pansy so she could fool Goyle and seduce him into telling her about the poisoning's cure. 

From Ron's point of view, that was a lousy plan.  Anyone with brains would know that. 

"I don't like it, Harry," he said uncertainly. "I mean, I know that what's happening to Draco is awful, but this plan has so many flaws! Pansy, the bitch, won't help you. In fact, she might try to kill you instead! Have you thought of that? And make Hermione drink the Polyjuice Potion… Don't even go there! I would never let her do that!" 

"You're not the boss of me, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione protested. 

"But, Hermione, it's too dangerous! I don't want you in the same room with a junior lunatic Death Eater!"

"Harry thinks I can do it, right Harry?" she shot Harry a meaningful look. 

"Yeah, I do. Besides, Hermione won't be alone, Ron. We will be watching the whole thing in my Invisibility cloak."

Ron crossed his arms, still not liking it. "You know it's a crazy and stupid idea." 

"Ron…"

"No, Hermione!" Ron cut in harshly. "You are supposed to be the clever one!" 

"But Draco is suffering so much," she said trying to convince him. "We have to do something to help him!"

"No, no, no!" Ron spoke up firmly. "The Polyjuice Potion takes a month to be ready! A bloody month!"

"Yes, but it's worth trying!" Hermione tried to argue. "We can do this!"

Ron knew why Hermione wanted to take part in that so much. She wanted to prove to herself that she could get over her first fiasco with the Polyjuice Potion when, instead of being transformed into Millicent Bulstrode, she had been transformed in something that resembled a cat. Ron couldn't let her do that to herself. They were blind with their own motives, and Ron could perfectly understand them, but he would bring them to reality no matter what.

"Hermione, sweetheart, do you remember what happened last time you took the Polyjuice potion? And Harry, are you out of your fucking mind? You know Pansy won't say anything to you. She hates you! If you write to her, she'll meet you only to kill you. Is that what you want? And you, Hermione! You don't know what Goyle can do to you! He's insane!"

Harry sighed, torn between his good sense and his need to do something. He knew Ron had made good points and that his plan had lots of flaws, but it was the only one he'd got. He needed to do something fast to help Draco. He couldn't bear to see him looking so lost and defeated, or acting like the old prick he used to be. 

He didn't want to fight with Ron. He had already argued with Snape till the break of dawn. 

"Listen, Harry, you said it yourself. Snape is taking care of it. I'm sure he'll come up with something."

"Snape? You're always saying that he is an incompetent bastard!" Hermione reminded him. 

"Well…" Ron flushed slightly. "I say that because he's unfair to us! But he's not incompetent." 

"All I know is that Draco needs our help. What are Snape and the others doing? Bloody nothing! They just sit and wait for an answer to drop from the sky!" Harry said, aggrieved. "I can't do that! I have to do something. The plan sucks! So what? Do you have a better idea?"

Ron looked upset. "Yes, I do as a matter of fact. Trust Snape!"

"That's not an option."

"Then what am I suppose to do? Watch you both commit suicide without doing anything?" 

"The plan will work," Hermione stated.

"How the hell do you know?" 

"Because I'm in it! How could it go wrong?" she said in a petulant voice that drove Ron mad. 

"Merlin! What will I do with you two?" he stared at his girlfriend and at Harry and shook his head. "Dammit!"

"You don't have to take part in it," Harry remarked. 

"The hell I don't! Do you really think I will abandon you? I won't, Harry. You're like a brother to me. You're even more a brother to me than my own brothers! I'll help you, even though I don't agree with it. Did you tell Snape about it?"

"Are you mad? Snape has already warned me to stay out of it. If I said something to him, he would give me a detention and then he'd tell Dumbledore, who would tell my father, and I would have to listen to both of their lectures." Harry grimaced. "We can't tell anyone about it. Not even Draco. And yes, that was a reminder for you, Hermione."

Hermione made a face. "I won't tell him, Harry. I'm not Parvati, you know?" 

"But you sure like to hear her gossip," Harry reminded her. 

"That's true," Ron smiled. 

"Ron!" Hermione protested, "I'd only listened to her _once_ because she heard someone calling me a tramp!"

"Why did someone call you that?" Harry asked, shocked that someone had said that about _Hermione_. 

"Well, apparently I'm a heartbreaker because I got between you and Ron," she said extremely upset. 

"That's nonsense!"

"If only they knew…" Ron added. 

Harry shook his head, thinking about how the students like to gossip, especially about things that weren't true. He had already heard that same day that Draco was having an affair with Zabini, which had made him more than just a little irritated. 

"Do you know what I should do? I should walk into the Great Hall and kiss Draco in front of everybody."

"That would be a little dramatic," Hermione pointed out, smiling at the idea. 

"Not to mention stupid. It would put you in grave danger."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "More than we already are?"

"Hmm… I guess it was a stupid thing to say," Ron said to himself. "Maybe kissing Draco is a better plan."

"And maybe smacking you in the head would be great, too!" 

"There's no need for violence, Harry."

Harry sighed. "Sorry. Things have not been easy for me."

"Is your scar hurting too much, Harry?" Hermione asked kindly. 

"Yes. But that's not the point. Ron is right, Hermione. Our plan is too dangerous."

"But Harry…"

"No. I can't let you take this risk. I'll do it all myself."

"What? Are you nuts? Did you not read Most Potente Potions? It says there that to transform into someone of the same sex is already a painful process. You wouldn't want to know what's like to transform yourself into a girl."

"Yeah, Harry. I mean, can you imagine if Pansy has her period in that same day?"

Ron and Harry laughed but Hermione found no fun in it. 

"Oh, for crying out loud, you are hopeless!" she said, crossing her arms. "You're not going to do it all alone, Harry."

"I'm not planning to drink the potion, Hermione. I hope that I get Pansy to talk before that."

"It won't be easy," she said solemnly.

"Finally!" Ron exclaimed. "For a moment I thought you were as insane as Harry."

"I'm not stupid, Ron. I know Pansy won't say anything. That's why we have to do the Polyjuice Potion."

Ron slapped his forehead and shook his head. "_You_ are hopeless, Hermione."

Harry didn't tell Hermione that he was more than ready to make Pansy talk, even if he had to be ruthless with her. He didn't want to put anyone else in danger. If something happened to Hermione, he would never forgive himself. He couldn't let her be alone with Goyle; Ron was right about that. The only excuse he had to redeem himself from such a stupid idea was that he hadn't been thinking rationally for a while. He wanted to see Draco but he didn't have the courage to do that. He was feeling guilty. Deep down he knew Draco was ill because of his connection with _him_.

Tired, he stared at his friends who were so willing to die for him if it was needed. He would never allow them to do that. _He_ would be the only one to die when the big battle came – and he knew that the day wasn't too far off. 

"We stick to the plan, then," he finally said. "Hermione, you can start brewing the potion. I'll set up a meeting with Pansy."

"What about me?"

"You'll be my backup when the meeting takes place."

"I don't like this, Harry."

Harry didn't like it either, but he was willing to try. He wouldn't just wait for a cure like the others. He would find it or die trying if that was what it took. He wished he could predict his future. But Dumbledore had said to him once that the consequences of our actions were always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future was a very difficult business. He and Draco had a glimpse of their future and had tried to change it, for what? Were they destined to die? 

"Harry?" Hermione called him softly. 

"What?"

"You are so distant. Are you ok?" 

He smiled feebly, "I'm as all right as I can be." 

"We are going to find a cure, Harry. I'll look in every book of the library," Hermione guaranteed. 

"Yeah, Harry, me too."

"Thanks. This meeting is officially closed. You can go now and snog. I know you want to," he taunted.

Ron and Hermione flushed but stifled a grin. 

"What about you, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Oh, I'll… I'll just be here for a while. I need to prepare a few things."

"Just don't stay up too late," Hermione said in her usual motherly tone of voice.

"I won't."

Once they were out, Harry took his seat and drew a parchment from his schoolbag. He had only written a few lines before he was interrupted by Ginny's sudden arrival. The first thing he noticed was the way that she was dressed. She had put on a yellow muggle dress – so short that if Ron saw it he would have a tantrum – and her hair was tied in a ponytail. She had a beautiful but also shy smile playing on her lips, and the moment their eyes locked, Harry understood what that was all about. She was there to seduce him. The thing was that Ginny wasn't a femme fatale. She was too sweet for that. 

"Hi, Harry. What are you doing?"

He sighed, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Oh, I was just… passing…"

He put his quill on the table and stared at it. "Does Ron know you are here?"

"Why would he? He's only my brother, you know?"

Harry sighed again, "Look, Ginny…" He glanced at her, not knowing how he could let her down gently.

Ginny was romantic and sweet, but she wasn't stupid. The instant she looked into Harry's eyes, she knew he would say something that would crush all of her dreams of being The One in the Golden Boy's life. Ever since she was ten years old she had dreamt of the moment when Harry Potter would take her in his arms and tell her all the foolish things she longed to hear from him. He would be her saviour, just like he had been in the Chamber of Secrets. They would fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. But just one look was enough for her to realise that that wouldn't happen. 

She sat down by his side, a defeated look on her face. "I know that you've been through a lot. I also know that you think of me as this annoying little brat who keeps bothering you when you want to be alone but if you just gave me a chance, Harry…"

"No, Ginny, it's not that at all!" Harry smiled at her frank words. "I don't think of you as an annoying brat!"

"Really?" she glimpsed at him with hope. 

"Really. I do enjoy your company. You've been a great friend."

"Friend…" her hope vanished. "I… I wanted us… to be…"

"I know." Harry whispered, enlacing their fingers together. "But things are complicated."

"Because of You-Know-Who?" 

Harry bit on his lower lip. "He's one of the reasons, yes. But there's another one."

They stared, and Harry wished from the bottom of his heart that he could love her. He did feel something for her. It wasn't as strong as what he felt for Draco, but it was pleasant nonetheless, and it was _there_. She was a beautiful girl becoming a beautiful woman. 

"You love someone else, right?" she asked quietly. 

"Yes." 

"Then why aren't you with her?" 

"It's complicated."

"I don't see any complications. When you love someone and this someone loves you back, the natural step is for you both to be together. Right? Love conquers all, that's what they say. Unless, of course, that this love is not returned." She made such a surprised face that Harry smiled. "She doesn't love you? I can't believe it, Harry! How can anyone not love you? Or maybe… she's dead. It's Celeste, isn't? You loved her."

"Celeste?" It was Harry's turn to be surprised. He had almost forgotten about his evil ex-girlfriend. "No, it's not her."

"Then who is it?"

"I… I can't tell you, Ginny. Besides, I've been thinking that the best thing for me right now is to be alone."

"Alone? Why? Just because you're heartbroken, it doesn't mean…"

"No, it's not that. My life is in constant danger. I don't want to hurt anyone else because of it."

Ginny squeezed his hand. "What you're saying is that love makes you weak. It doesn't, Harry. Love can help you getting through the adversities of life. You, more than anyone I know, need someone to be by your side," she said with such tenderness that Harry's heart melted. 

"Since when did you become so mature, Ginny?"

She looked offended. "I _am_ mature. What did you think? That I was just a silly little girl with nothing to do but dream about you?" She did just that, but she would never admit it out loud. "Well, I don't! You may not know this but I'm the best student of my year. I can play Quidditch better than any of my brothers. I worry about the war, I read a lot. I also read Witch Weekly because no one is _that_ perfect, you know? Besides, in spite of the gossips, it's a good feminine magazine."

A small smiled curved in Harry's lips. "I'm sure it is. Not that I read it, of course," he quickly added.

She smiled adorably. 

"You are the most wonderful person I know, Ginny Weasley."

She blinked repeatedly, trying to hold back her tears. "No, I'm not. I'm just a silly girl."

"Whoever thinks that about you couldn't be more wrong."

He kissed her tremble hands softly. It was a crucifying moment for her. To have him so near and yet so distant broke her heart, but she knew – even though she was only fifteen years-old – that one couldn't force love. There was always a Love Potion, but who would like to have someone knowing that the person only had feelings for you because of a potion? There was nothing she could do to make Harry fall in love with her, but she could be by his side when he needed her.  There was something she needed to do first. She thought about asking him for a kiss, but she decided to act instead of it. Before Harry could react properly, she kissed him softly on the lips and held the kiss for more than a second, pulling away slowly, her face as red as her hair. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Oh, it's all right," he whispered back, not knowing what to say exactly. 

Ginny's kiss had been delightful but not at all like Draco. He could control himself with Ginny but that didn't apply to Draco. He knew for sure at that moment that as much as Ginny was a great girl, and the only one that could compete with Draco, the blond was still the one for him. 

"_I'm_ sorry, Ginny."

"It's ok." She smiled feebly. "As long as we keep being friends, it's all right."

"Of course we will!" 

They hugged, and Ginny kissed his cheek before standing up. 

"Do you want me to walk you to the Gryffindor Tower?" Harry asked.

"No, I'm not a damsel in distress, Harry. I've been inside the Chamber of Secrets, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Harry shuddered at the thought. "That's one more reason to…"

"No, Harry," she said. "Just finish what you were doing. I'll be fine. Besides, what can possibly happen to me on my way to the Tower?" 

_'A lot of things'_, Harry thought but didn't say. He let her go even though something was telling him not to. 

                                                           ---------------------

Ginny found out that Friday night was a busy night in Hogwarts. Behind old statues and empty classroom she could hear giggles, whispers and moans. It was quite intriguing why Filch couldn't catch them all in the act so loud the couples were. But overall, the corridors were just cold and creepy and still she thought nothing would happen on her way to the Gryffindor Tower. She couldn't be more wrong. Someone had been following her and watching her every step ever since she had gotten inside the library. The person had seen the whole romantic display between Harry and her and hadn't liked one bit. 

"Weasley," she heard a sharp and cold voice calling her somewhere behind her and she froze.

She turned around to face whoever it was but saw nobody. 

"Who is there?" 

She heard a laughter that sent chills down her spine. 

"I'm the son, and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar, I'm the son and heir of nothing in particular."

"It's not funny!" her protest echoed in the darkness. 

"No, it's not. It's rather melodramatic and sad, Weasley. Just like you and I, all alone in this corridor, craving for the same person," said the drawling voice. "Should we duel, I wonder. It would be romantic if you think about it. He will cry for both of us. It'd be a lovely scene, don't you think? He's beautiful when he cries. But it wouldn't be funny. I would win, so there's no fun in that. Lots and lots of redheads to weep over your grave. How many Weasleys are in the world anyway? I always wanted to know."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Who are you? What do you want?" she asked quite bravely, even though deep down she was scared. 

"He would hate me, too," the voice kept saying without paying attention to her. "I guess he already does."

"What…"

"Oh, come on, Weasley! Even your brother is smarter than that! You still don't know who I am? Merlin, I'm disappointed. If you want to be with Potter, you have to be smart, Weasley. That's the first qualification. You can't be with the boy wonder if you're not up to his level. Then you must have the right look – the look is very important – and you _need_ to be bold."

That voice and petulance sounded very familiar to Ginny, but she couldn't believe it was Draco Malfoy. If it was him, that meant that Malfoy, _the_ Draco Malfoy, _liked_ Harry. That wasn't possible. Or was it? Could that be true? 

"Are you Malfoy?"

She heard claps and then the drawling voice congratulating her. Draco Malfoy came out of the shadows were he was hidden, his eyes strangely red. She felt scared for a moment but then she held her chin high and with her wand raised she dared him to come closer. He just laughed in a creepy way, but far from feeling cornered she felt rather confident of herself. 

"You don't scare me, Malfoy. You're nothing but a poor little rich kid who wasn't loved enough by your parents. I've been watching you for a long time and I know how much you try to get your father's attention in vain."

Draco frowned. "Spare me this Witch Weekly bullshit. I came here to threaten you, not to be analysed!" 

"Why?"

"Why? Because of the lovely scene you played with Potter!"

"Are you jealous?" she asked, bemused. 

He made a face. "Don't be ridiculous!" 

"Well, you sound jealous," she pointed out. 

"Honestly, Weasley, you're ruining my bad boy reputation! Why aren't you scared? You were, not a second ago! And how dare you point your wand at _me_?"

She giggled. "Oh, I'm sooo scared." 

"Haven't you heard what I did with the ones who tried to defy me this past week?"

"Yes, and by the way, why did you have to do such a cruel thing with Neville? He's such a sweetie."

Draco seemed embarrassed for a moment but he quickly recomposed himself. 

"He deserved it for being so clumsy."

"I thought you and Harry had called it a truce because last year you were quite tamed."

"Tamed? No way!" he crossed his arms. "You're really crossing the line, Weasley."

"George has always accused me of that," she sighed. "Look, Malfoy, I don't know what's up with you and to be honest, I don't really care. So why don't we go our own ways and–"

"No," he cut her off. "I'm really pissed off right now. I would be very careful if I were you. I can't hurt you, Weasley, and to tell you the truth I really don't want to. I'll make this real quick. Are you dating Potter? What did he say to you?"

She stared at him. "Why do want to know?"

"That's none of your business."

"Of course it is! Why do you care if I'm dating Harry or not?" she thought about it for a moment and her eyes flew open. It had just sunk in what Malfoy had said in the beginning of they're conversation: that they both craved for the same person. 

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed, calling herself stupid for not being paying attention to his words properly. "I'd always thought that this obsession of yours was weird enough but now I finally understand what that was all about. You _love_ him. And not as a friend but as a…a…"

"A lover, Weasley! Is it so difficult to say?"

"Oh! I… I…" her face had gone white. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Just tell me if you and Potter are–"

"Does he know?"

Draco sneered, "Do you even remember Hogwarts' motto? It says "never tickle a sleeping dragon". I'm trying to hold myself not to hurt you, Weasley, because I know Harry will never forgive me if I do, but you're not helping me out here!"

She crossed her arms. "You called him _Harry_."

"So?" 

"Nothing. It's just weird. You know, a _lot_ of things make sense now," she said mysteriously. 

He snarled but didn't do anything. She noticed that he suddenly looked very pale and in pain. 

"Are you all right?"

He breathed with difficulty, "Yes, Weasley, I'm fine. Are you going to answer my question or what?"

She sighed again, wanting to tell him to bugger off, but instead she decided to answer him.

"I'm not dating Harry. Didn't you hear our conversation? He told me that he loves somebody else. I suspect it's Hermione because he said it's complicated and _she's_ dating his best friend. So you're out of luck as much as I am. Harry loves someone else," she said with resignation in her voice. 

To Draco, it was hard to understand why she wasn't screaming and crying that Harry Potter had just dumped her. He would certainly _do_ something. He had seriously considered hurting Weasley, because the potion was kicking in hard. But so far he had been holding himself in check quite well, and he suspected it was because of her and that weird good vibe that she emanated.  

"And you don't care?" he asked quite curious. 

"Well, I was about to go to my room and cry my heart out but you kind of interrupted my plans by showing up like this," she said with an honesty that caught him by surprise. "Of course it's not easy to hear that the man you love can't love you back. But what can I do? I can't force him to love me. And neither can you if that's what you're thinking!" she said critically. 

Draco almost smiled. "What's wrong with you people? You're so… kind to everybody."

"Not really." She flushed. "I have a few enemies that I would never help."

This time he smiled feebly, not at all believing her. "Who?" 

"Oh, just some… people." She shrugged. 

Draco's body trembled from pain all of a sudden and Ginny helped him steady. They stared for a while, trying to figure each other out. 

"You said you would never help an enemy," he pointed out weakly.

"But you're not my enemy. I don't like you but that doesn't make you my enemy. Besides, I think I would help an enemy… Looking back, you did do some good things last year. And… well… I guess Harry respects and cares for you. He never really said anything to me but I can feel it. I could feel it when you snapped at the bookshop."

Draco's eyes shimmered with surprise. He never thought Ginny Weasley was like that. He had pictured her as just a silly girl with only Harry Potter on her mind – not that he could blame her for that – but he realised she wasn't like that. She was just… sweet and tender. _'A typical Gryffindor'_, he thought bitterly.  

"Where do you want me to take you?" she asked. 

He stared at her in disbelief. "I can't believe this is happening. First Zabini helped me and now you."

"Don't look so surprised. Just don't think I'm stupid, Malfoy, 'cause I'm not!" 

"Then why are you helping _me_?"

"Because I can see in your eyes that I can trust you. They are not red anymore. I feel that something is wrong with you though. May I ask what is it?"

"No, you cannot! There's a limit to this weird truce."

"Can I ask you something else then?"

"No."

"Oh, come on. I know your secret now. What's the point of trying to go back to the spoiled-brat mode?"

"I wonder if you're real and not just a product of my imagination."

"I'm real. Or at least I hope so," she smiled. 

"You shouldn't be so nice to me."

"Well, you're talking to a girl that was completely deceived by You-Know-Who's teenage self. And don't ask about it, please. It's something that still disturbs me. I guess I'm not that smart after all," she said sadly.

"I don't get you. That's one more reason for you not to trust anyone and yet here you are, being all friendly."

"I can't help it."

"Why doesn't Potter like you?" Draco couldn't understand that after meeting Ginny for the first time.

"His heart belongs to somebody else already. What can I do about it? All I want is for him to be happy."

"I could never be like that." Draco felt his anger rising again at the thought of Harry with someone else. 

"Well, as soon as I get to my room I'll get wasted and forget about it for a while."

He looked at her stunned and she smiled. 

"I'm joking, you know?"

"You are very weird."

"Yeah, I know."

Draco's pain increased and he moaned softly, "I don't want your pity."

"Well, you already have it so you might as well take it. I pity everybody so don't feel so special about it."

Draco couldn't help but smile at her boldness. "Now I know why you're in Gryffindor."

"Look, we don't have all night, so, if you want to talk, I'm available. We can cry a river over Harry and then move on with our lives. I promise I won't make stupid jokes about it tomorrow. I remember how much Bill suffered when he first broke up with his boyfriend. I'm not even sure why I'm doing this, but… I can't bear to see someone in pain, even if this someone is you." 

"I don't want to talk. I certainly wouldn't talk to you of all people!"

"Why not? I'm a good listener!"

"Just take me to my room. I show you the way," he said, defeated, hating the fact that his weakness made him so dependent.  "And not a peep, Weasley," he warned her. 

"Whatever. I just wanted you to know that the answer to your question is five hundred and one." 

"What?" he looked at her puzzled. 

"There are five hundred and one Weasleys in the world."

"Good Lord! The world is doomed!" 

And Ginny just smiled mysteriously.

A/N: Please, review!

(*) _"I'm the son, and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar, I'm the son and heir of nothing in particular_" - It's part of a song called **How Soon is Now **from The Smiths. 


	8. Simple as That

Title: Take me Home (8/?)

Disclaimer: not mine, of course… except for Erin and Alex!

Warning: slash.

Big thanks to my beta readers: Katie, Hyperbole and Bunny-kuo! 

Thanks to: **Hyperbole**, **Katie** and **Bunny-kuo**, my beta readers, and to all the reviewers: **Marzipan **(^_~); **Belle **(^_~)**; Yumi-no-baka **(Yes, it's a lot of people. ^_~. Scared the hell out of Draco!)**; Toyo Malloy (^_~); Alyssa; Abremaline **(No, Ginny and Draco are not exactly friends.); **Draco Malfoy-N-Harry Potter **(LOL! I always love your reviews. I adore your chibis! Draco is the precious, huh? Yeah, I know. He's everybody's precious); **Harmoni** (I'm glad you find Lucius/James intriguing); **blueMoon** (I'll see what I can do); **misses-nugget **(^_~); **Shannon felton** (^_~); **SkyCorker**(Yes, I watched Dead Poet Society but it was a long time ago and I watched in Portuguese. I can't remember the ending though. I do remember that it was very sad. I'll watch again, in English this time!); **Rowenna** (Kill Narcissa? Hmm… But I see your point. I'm torn between Remus/Sirius and Sirius/Narcissa. Something will happen between Sirius and Remus though. A baby girl for Sev!? I don't know yet. You'll find out soon.); **Fantastic Mr. Foxkins **(^_^); **Justice-hime** (Ginny and Draco are not exactly friends. But they will be. Sort of!); **Riisha** (^_ ^); **HironiKoshinha** (^_^); **byteboy2k** (^_^); **Lilyria**** Ali** (The snog is here!); **Ariel** (Yes, the song is played in Charmed! I love that song); **dragons lover** (I hope it's not a definitive goodbye. Write me!); **Mistal****: Abyss, Water Fairy** (Here it is). 

**PLEASE READ:** Fanfiction.net's ADMIN has removed **The Road Home** from my account. I don't know if I'll upload the story again, I'm still thinking about it. For now, if you want to read The Road Home, go to my BIO and then access one of the sites that are there. ^_~. 

Chap. 8 – **SIMPLE AS THAT **

"How are you feeling? Are you ok?" 

Draco clenched his fists and counted to ten. If his mother asked him the same question one more time he would literally explode. When Narcissa had first arrived the day before, he'd been very pleased to see her, but at the present time, with all that extra-attention, he was quite annoyed by her presence. Narcissa had never been the caring type of mother. Not that she hadn't wanted to be, but Lucius had made her restrain her feelings around Draco for so long that she had gotten used to playing the distant mother. Now that she had the chance to redeem herself, she was overdoing her attention, making Draco uncomfortable. 

Her constant crying he could handle, but he had limits. 

"Don't you have a meeting to go to or something?" he growled. 

She sighed, "I'm only trying to help you, son."

Draco chewed his lower lip and looked at her. "I know, it's just… this is weird."

"Not weirder than your father taking care of you."

He smiled. "That would definitely be number one of all the weird moments of my life. Lucius taking care of me would be even weirder than when Ginny Weasley was being all friendly with me yesterday." He shuddered at the thought. Ginny had been interesting company, but after a while Draco had gotten tired of her _shiny happy people spirit. _

"Oh, I really liked her. She's such a lovely girl," Narcissa said with a tender smile, remembering the sweet girl that had walked into Draco's room with him the previous night, to her utter surprise. The moment they had seen each other, Narcissa and Ginny had bonded in the most wonderful way. That fact had made Draco's terrible mood get even worse. 

"She is lovely, indeed," Draco agreed against his will. "She's also very irritating if you ask me. Honestly, she couldn't keep her mouth shut even for a second! And it looked as though she had memorized by heart the Witch Weekly's therapy section!"

Narcissa laughed at the memory. Ginny sure liked to analyse people a lot. 

"She was quite insightful about you," she pointed out. 

"If I were you," said Draco coldly, "I wouldn't be so excited about her. I was still gay last time I checked."

"I won't play the matchmaker on you, Draco. I know where your heart is. Speaking of which, when are you going to put your pride aside and talk to Harry? Even little Ginny was cheering for you to _confess_ your true feelings for him." 

Was it Draco's impression or there had been a playful tone in Narcissa's voice? And what was that about _little_ _Ginny?_

"Ginny doesn't know half of the story. She thinks she's got everything figure it out. Ha! She wishes!" 

"Hmm…"

"Don't 'hmm' on me! Besides, you giving me advice about my relationship with Harry is just freaky." 

"Teenagers," she whispered and Draco snarled. 

"All right," he sneered, "If that's what you want, I can play the same game, too. I'm a master in making people uncomfortable. So here it goes. How come you still haven't married the _star dog? Is it because he's a fugitive or because he's afraid of intimacy?" _

Narcissa blushed at her son's audacity. "No, Draco. It's because your father and I are still married; and there's also the fact that I don't want to get married that fast. Not after being married to Lucius for so long. I'm… enjoying my freedom," she confessed quietly. 

Draco frowned. "Do I smell trouble in paradise?"

"I won't discuss my relationship with Sirius with _you_!" she protested.

"Ha! See? See how uncomfortable it is to talk about your private life?" 

"All right, I'll stop talking about Harry," she gave up. "And for the record, Sirius and I get along just fine."

"Fine. It's not my problem anyway."

"Good."

They silenced for a moment. 

"I just can't understand what you see in a guy like him," Draco said suddenly. 

"Sirius is a good man, Draco. Besides, it's not that simple when it comes to love. It's never simple."

"You got that right," Draco sighed, his mind drifting away to Harry. 

He wished his life was simple. He wished he could just apologise to Harry and make up. He looked at the ring Harry had given him, and then at the Argus – which had been another gift from Harry. His eyes fixated on the ring and it started to glitter slightly. The only time he had seen the ring glitter like that had been when Harry had first put it on his finger. At that memory, his eyes filled with tears. Before the memories of them could wash over him, he noticed that the Argus was scintillating as well. His eyes flashed open and he wondered what that was all about. 

His concentration was broken by Narcissa's worried voice and the object went back to normal. 

"What's wrong, Draco?"

He looked at her puzzled face and asked, "Did you see it?"

"What?"

"The Argus was scintillating very weakly. Did you see it?" 

She shook her head and he sighed. Maybe he was losing his mind. Perhaps it was another effect of the poison. He was not only hearing voices but also _seeing things. _

"I would die for Harry," he began quietly, his eyes lost. "I'd always thought I would die for him. But I won't. I will die because of myself. I won't die for him. I wanted to die for him." 

A sudden thought came over him but he held it to himself. He still could die for Harry if he wanted to. He still could make a difference. At that thought, his eyes sparkled, making Narcissa even more worried.

"You won't die, Draco!" she exclaimed.

"Of course I will. We're all going to die someday," he replied. "The real question is how am I going to die? Like a bloody loser or like a hero?"

"Don't even say that! I don't like where this is going, Draco." 

She stared at him as if she was trying hard to read his mind. Draco was glad that she couldn't. No one should know about the plans that were crossing his mind. He had just decided that if he would die, he would die in great style. He would die not because of a stupid guy like Goyle but for a reason greater than life itself. Harry was that reason. 

It was time, he thought, to consider joining Voldemort. 

                                                                                    ------------------

It had just come out that day that Alexis Lestrange was a werewolf. At first, Severus didn't know exactly how to react at such shocking news. Erin wasn't that surprised; Dumbledore was being condescending for a change and Lupin was just acting weird. Severus was the only down-to-earth, the only one who saw Alex for what he really was. The fact that Alex was a werewolf made him even more sceptical about his true reasons for being in the castle. Everyone knew that werewolves weren't reliable.  

In the past, werewolves had been easily seduced by Lord Voldemort's promises. After getting to know Lupin a little better, he thought _he_ was different. But seeing him so sympathetic with Alex, he wasn't so sure anymore. He could even imagine what Erin would say about that.

_'Well, of course he's sympathetic with Alex! He's a werewolf, too! He knows how tough it is to be accepted. Look at you! Just because you found out about his condition, you're already behaving like a prejudice bastard and I don't like that!' she would say with tears in her eyes. _

He would politely point out that long before he knew about Alex's _condition _he was distrustful about him. 

The worst of it all was that he would have extra work with the Wolfsbane potion. That alone was enough to put him in a very bad mood. At least it was the perfect excuse to talk to Alex in private and pressure him. Erin wasn't around to spoil it so when he spotted Alex quietly waiting outside Lupin's quarters, he didn't resist the opportunity. 

"Alex," he said dryly.

Alex shot him one of his famous seductive smiles. "If it isn't the charming Severus Snape." 

"I'm here to tell you that I'll make the Wolfsbane for you."

"Yeah, Erin told me."

Severus frowned. 

"I told her that it wasn't necessary but…"

"What?" Severus cut in. "Do you really think it's not necessary? You're in a school. The potion is to keep our _students_ safe. I'm sure Erin told you that."

"She did, and that's why I've accepted the offer."                                                                                 

"It wasn't an offer but an order," Severus said coldly. "If you want to stay here, you have to play by the rules. How long were you planning to hide it from us that you're a werewolf? After a student appeared sliced in two on a full moon's day?"

"Of course not!" Alex protested in a very believable way. "The reason I told Erin I didn't need the potion was because I had my own methods of fooling the full moon and its devastating effects. It may not be as effective as your potion but it has helped me all my life."

"What is it?"

Alex sighed, "It's another potion. One that no one likes to admit was ever made."

"You're talking about…" Severus couldn't finish. It was too horrible even to think of it.

"Yes, I'm talking about _Lupus potion. Its effects are terrible but at least it's been effectively keeping me away from attacking innocent people."_

Severus noticed the slip in the word 'innocent' and he wasn't the kind of man to let that get away. 

"Just _innocent_ people?" he asked with a forged calm. 

"What's the point of being harmless when you're facing an enemy?" Alex said defensively. 

Severus grimaced, "It depends on who you consider to be your enemies, Lestrange."

Alex looked the other way, looking terribly disturbed. "I know what you think about me but I'm _not_ what you think."

"Oh, you have no idea what I think." Severus got closer to him and threatened, "All I know is that Erin is my wife and she's pregnant with my child. If you hurt her, I'll kill you. I don't know what you're playing at – _yet_ – but I'll be watching your every move. I didn't believe not for a second that the only reason you came was to warn us about the Green Flame."

"But it's the truth!" Alex protested, "You-Know-Who is after it. He's convinced that the Green Flame exists and that it's the only thing capable of making him invincible. The only thing I was able to discover was that a long time ago, the power of the Green Flame was split in three to balance the world. Each power was held in a particular object, but no one really knows anything about it, or even if the legend is true. I don't support him and I never will."

Alex seemed to be telling the truth but Severus knew better. Voldemort had always had good spies by his side such as Peter Pettigrew. No one had suspected Pettigrew and he had not just betrayed the Potters but had also helped Voldemort to regain his power. For Erin's sake, he wished Alex was telling the truth.    

"I'll take your word for it, but I'm still going to watch you," Severus warned. 

Remus had watched the whole scene from a distance and he saw the exact moment when Alex sighed in relief after Snape left. His werewolf sense could tell that Alex was disturbed by the conversation. Even Remus was shaken a little. It wasn't so much the cold tone in Severus' voice that had done the trick but rather the fact that Remus had realised once again how mysterious Alex's past was. 

Just because they had slept together, it didn't mean Remus trusted him. He still didn't, but he couldn't help but be attracted to him. Their passionate night had been perfect, only spoiled by Sirius' presence the next day. He had felt terribly guilty when he had seen Sirius, and Alex had noticed it. But Remus was ready to make it up to him that night. Alex's past didn't matter to his body and that was the sad truth. 

"Alex," Remus called.

Alex looked at him, instantly hypnotizing Remus with his gaze. 

"I was waiting for you," Alex said with a smile. "What took you so long?" 

Remus smiled back, unable to do anything else. "Classes. I'm a Professor, remember?" 

Alex got closer and caressed Remus' arms slightly, making him shiver. 

"Not here," Remus whispered.

"Why not?"

"Someone might see us."

"And you care because…"

"Because I'm a Professor and that comes with a list of responsibilities," Remus pointed out. "Meet me tonight and we'll… talk."

Alex laughed. "We'll do anything but talk, Remus Lupin."

Remus smiled shyly and Alex kissed him. They snogged for a while, lost in each other's embrace. 

"Remus?" said a shocked voice. 

Remus instantly froze in Alex's arms. He knew that voice pretty well. 

"Remus?" called Sirius again, this time more irritated than anything else.

Alex pulled away reluctantly but not before kissing Remus one last time. Then he glared at Sirius, who glared back at him. Remus stared at them both, catching the animosity in the air but not understanding it. It was clear that Sirius hadn't liked Alex from the start and for some reason Alex hadn't like him either, but Remus didn't know why. 

"Sirius!" Remus was the first to break into the silence. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes, there is," Sirius said with his eyes fixated on Alex. "Could I talk to you in _private?"_

"Sure," Remus agreed and then turned to talk to Alex, "Do you mind?"

"No, of course not. I have to help Erin decorate the baby's room anyway. She must be expecting me. But I hope that you and I can… _talk_… tonight." Alex glared at Sirius and then smiled at Remus. "I'll be waiting for you in your quarters, ok?" he winked before leaving. 

Remus turned to talk to Sirius but didn't like the way his friend was staring at him. 

"What?" Remus asked. "Why did you want to talk to me? Is there something wrong with James or Harry?"

"No." Sirius pondered for a moment before adding, "I mean, they have their usual problems, but so far they're doing ok. I want to talk to you about… You see, this is not easy for me but I feel like I have to say it. Narcissa told me to be quiet but seeing you with… _him_… I just can't be quiet. He's not good for you, Remus. I'm sorry but he's not. I figured that out the moment I saw him."

Remus looked at him puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

Sirius moved uncomfortably. "I'm talking about you and… _Alexis_." 

Remus frowned, not knowing exactly what to say. He was torn between anger and a weird joy. On one hand, what he did with his life was none of Sirius' concern. For another, he was touched by the fact that Sirius cared for him. But most important of all, he let himself dream that Sirius was only saying that because he had realised how much he loved him. Just to imagine that made him feel great, but Sirius' next words went down on him like a cold shower. 

"Do you really think it's wise to mix yourself with another werewolf that may work for Voldemort? I do want you to find someone, but does it have to be _him_? He's a Lestrange, for Merlin's sake! I think the name speaks for itself."

"Are you concerned with the fact that he's a werewolf or that he's a Death Eater?"

"Both actually."

"God, Sirius, I can't believe you!" Remus stared at him in disbelief. "How can you say this? In case it slipped off your mind, I'm a werewolf, too! There's nothing wrong with Alex, just like there's nothing wrong with me! He assured me that he doesn't work for Voldemort and–"

"I'm not saying there's something wrong with you!" Sirius cut him off. "All I'm saying it's that you shouldn't trust him that much. You don't know him, Remus! He could be a spy for Voldemort. He could be here to take Harry away. Hell, I don't know! He could be as insane as his father. We all know the Lestranges are lunatics."

"Erin is a Lestrange, too."

"Erin is kind of crazy if you think about it."

Remus snarled.  "You don't even know what's up between Alex and me."

"I just saw you kissing!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, so? Does that mean anything?" Remus asked crossing his arms. 

"Of course it does!" 

"No, it doesn't! This thing between Alex and me it's so recent and new… And none of your business! I'm just having some fun. There's nothing wrong with that. You said it yourself that I should find someone, fall in love and blah-blah-blah! Well, that's what I'm doing! I'm trying to live my life."

Sirius sighed, "You should fall in love, Remus, but not with someone like Alex."

"Why? You don't even know him."

"Neither do you!" 

He was right. Remus _was worried about Alex's life but he wouldn't admit it to Sirius. He didn't need Sirius or anybody else to tell him how wrong it was for him to get involved with a mysterious person such as Alex, but he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to __feel. Alex made him forget about his impossible love for Sirius even if it was for a few moments. He didn't care. He was tired of waiting for a love that would never be. Alex was at his disposal, willing to be with him. They were werewolves; they understood each other better than anyone else would. Sirius would never understand his soul like Alex did. _

Besides, Sirius was with Narcissa and that thought was enough for Remus to break. 

"Just… leave me alone!" he said, irritated. "I have a class in a few minutes. I've just come by to pick up a book. This conversation is over."

Remus entered his quarters and Sirius walked in with him. They argued and their insecurities and bruises of the past were brought back. Remus accused Sirius of never really trusting him and Sirius threw it back at him by accusing him of keeping everything to himself. 

"If you wanted me to trust you, you should have talked to me about what was going on with you."

"Why? Why did I have to say everything to you?" Remus asked.

"Because we were best friends!" 

"No, we weren't. James was your best friend," Remus said, upset. "If _we_ were best friends, Sirius, you'd have said to me about the last minute's changes you made in the Fidelius charm. You didn't tell me because you suspected _me!" _

"Goddammit, Remus! You started to act weirdly! What should I have thought? After our graduation you just vanished! Every time I tried to contact you, you invented excuses not to see me. There were rumours about werewolves joining Voldemort. And Peter…" Sirius stopped for a moment and grimaced, "Peter told me that he had seen you talking to Johnson."

Remus opened his eyes wide. He remembered Johnson. He had been the first werewolf to join Voldemort. 

"I never talked to Johnson!" he denied fervently. 

"I believe you. Peter tricked us all. I was a fool to believe him. I was a fool about a lot of things."

Sirius got closer to Remus and their noses almost touched. Remus breath accelerated involuntarily. 

"What happened to make you go away?" he asked Remus. 

"I… Why do you want to know now? It's been so long," Remus whispered.

"Because I need to know what I did wrong to make you hate me so much."

"I didn't hate you, Sirius. I never did. Well, maybe after you went to Azkaban, but even then…"

They stared. Remus' heart was beating fast and he didn't know how he was still standing. 

"Even then…" Sirius encouraged him to go on.

"I… I just…" For a crazy moment Remus considered the idea of telling Sirius what he felt. "The reason why I couldn't be near you was because… I… Sirius, I… I can't tell you."

"Why not?" 

"I'm afraid of your reaction."

"Whatever it is, I'll understand."

"No, you won't. It's not that simple."

Sirius sighed with sadness. "I promise I won't judge you."

"It's not that." Remus closed his eyes to hold back his tears. "I'm just not ready to tell you yet."

Sirius caught his chin and rose up. Their eyes locked and they stared for a long time. Something inside Sirius' heart twitched. A weird sensation ran through his body but he refused to let it go further. He told himself that what he felt was just concern and affection. The fact that their mouths were only inches apart had nothing to do with that sudden and odd desire to close the distance between their bodies.

Remus noticed that Sirius' breathe quickened but he didn't know what to make of that. He was scared to even consider what that might mean. All he knew was that if he didn't pull away that instant he'd forget about his fears and do something he would regret later. 

"I have to go. I'm late for my class," Remus whispered breaking their gaze. 

Sirius blinked, taking a while to gain focus, as if he had just been under a spell. 

"All right," he said. 

"Right." 

Remus caught a book from his bedside table and headed for the door but Sirius stopped him.

"Promise me you'll dump Alex, Remus. Promise me you won't let him hurt you."

Remus only shook his head. It wasn't that easy. Life never was. 

                                                                              -----------------

"I'm worry about Remus," Sirius said to Narcissa after she left Draco. 

Narcissa looked at Sirius trying to figure him out. Ever since they were young, Sirius had a strong bond with his friends. She knew for sure that Sirius would die for any of them, and that Peter's betrayal had pushed him to the edge. Peter had made Sirius suspect Remus, a sweet and kind boy who had the bad luck of being bitten by a werewolf. 

In the past, when she and Sirius had gone out, she had noticed how Remus had looked sad. She'd thought it was only a friend's jealousy, but being much older and wiser at the present time, she knew now that the sparkle in his eyes meant much more than friendship. It was love. 

Ever since she had moved in with Sirius, she couldn't help but notice how much Sirius talked about Remus. He made her believe that it was only concern and regret for being so unfair to Remus in the past, but she knew it wasn't that. It was something else. Something that Sirius hadn't noticed himself but she had. It wasn't _that evident, but it was there nonetheless. She often wondered if she should talk to him about it, but as the coward that she was, she rather stayed quiet. After all, she also loved him. How could she just give up on him? Remus didn't seem willing to say anything about it. Why should _she_ say something?_

Hearing Sirius talk about Remus had brought the subject up again. It was clear that Sirius wasn't just concerned about Alexis Lestrange but jealous as well. 

"What does he see in him?" Sirius went on. 

Narcissa knew exactly what Remus had seen in Alex. Alex reminded him of Sirius in many ways. 

"Remus is a grown man, Sirius. He knows how to take care of himself," Narcissa pointed out, trying not to sound jealous herself. 

"That's the point Narcissa! He doesn't know how to take care of himself! He never did. Remus was always so fragile and–"

"Oh, please!" Narcissa rolled her eyes. "You're not serious, are you? He's a DADA professor! He's the one teaching your godson how to defend himself from a Death Eater's attack! You don't really think Remus is some kind of delicate flower! He's quite strong, Sirius!"

"How can you be so sure?" Sirius said, annoyed. "You don't know him like I do."

"He's survived all these years, hasn't he? He's been all alone in this world and even if he's not been great, he's still here! He holds on just fine all by himself. I know he needs a shoulder to cry on every now and then, we all do, but honestly, Sirius, do you really think he's _that_ fragile?"

Sirius stared at her in shock and then he laughed. 

"You're jealous, aren't you?" he asked, amused. 

"Of course not!" 

"Yes, you are!" He enlaced her by her waist and put her closer. "You don't have to be, Narcissa."

"I'm not jealous!" She was, but she would never admit it.

"Well, madam, you look cute when you're jealous," he provoked her.

"Don't start, Sirius."

He kissed her neck. "You do. Your eyes sparkle with fury and you get this sexy and determined attitude that turns me on."

She couldn't help but giggle as he continued to tease her. "Stop it, Sirius!"

"Why?"

"Because…" She sighed. "I lived in Lucius' shadow for a long time and I was submissive to him. But I'm not stupid, Sirius. Just remember that."

"I don't know what you mean," he said seriously this time. "I'm just playing with you."

"And I like to see you playing. Most of the time you look so… drained. I know it's hard for you to put it all behind you. I know those nights in prison still haunt you. I'm always stunned to see the way you can keep up with your good humour after everything you've been through. I'm not mad at you because of that, Sirius."

"Then why?"

"I think you have to figure it out by yourself."

"I know our lives haven't been easy, but–"

"That's not it," she cut him off. "My life was never easy, Sirius. Living with Lucius was hell. You and I still have a lot of issues to resolve but I think that the issue ahead of us is by far the worst of them all. The saddest thing is that you don't have a clue about it." 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't. Men are so obtuse…," she muttered in reply. 

"Hey!" he protested looking extremely offended. "I'm not obtuse!" 

"I wouldn't be so sure. You seem unable to see what is right in front of you."

"You know what you could do? You could explain to me what is going on inside your head."

She snorted, "No, this is something you have to figure out by yourself. I made up my mind already."

"But, Sissy…" 

"Sorry, Sirius, but this is a very difficult time for all of us," she said, "I just can't deal with this right now. I have to take care of Draco. He seems so sick. I just can't believe Lucius let something like this happen to him. If there was something Lucius always cared for, it was Draco's safety, believe it or not. Well, sometimes he just acted like the bastard he is, like that day he left Draco all alone inside the Ghost Forest," Narcissa shivered at the thought. "But all in all, he cares for Draco in his own distorted way."

"Everyone is looking for a cure, Sissy. I'm sure the kid will get out unharmed."

"I hope you're right. I'm so scared."

He hugged her tightly. "I won't let anything happen to him. That's a promise." 

                                                                              ------------------

Everything was going according to Ron's schedule for the Gryffindors' Quidditch practice until the Slytherin team appeared on the field with Blaise at the lead and ruined everything. Utterly upset, Ron almost fell off his broom in his anxiety to confront Zabini and tell him to bugger off. But no one was as quick to land on the ground as Seamus. 

He and Blaise glared at each other for a long time. They had fought in a very nasty way after Blaise had told him about Draco's kiss, and Seamus had decided to end their relationship convinced that Blaise was still in love with Draco. Blaise hadn't taken that very well and that was why he was at the Quidditch pitch that day, just to tease Seamus. The silence went on and the players couldn't help but wonder what was going on. The fifth year Slytherin Beater whispered in the other Beater's ear about the awkwardness of the situation. 

"What the fuck are you doing here, Zabini?" Seamus was the first to say aggressively.

"Today the field is mine. Professor Snape gave us permission to train our new Seeker," Blaise said coldly. 

"A new Seeker?" Ron stared at Blaise surprised. He looked around in search for Harry but didn't find him. He hadn't returned from the loo yet. Ron had the feeling that his friend would have a heart attack at the shocking news. 

"Yeah, Weasley. Draco resigned."

"WHAT?" said Harry, appearing behind Blaise all of the sudden. 

Harry stared at the short brunette who would be the new Slytherin Seeker with astonishment.  She didn't even compare to _his Draco. _

"You heard, Potter. Draco is no longer my Seeker therefore I have to train the new one."

As Ron had predicted, Harry was in a state of shock. He mumbled a few words, trying to find the right ones to form a coherent phrase without any success. Ron went by his side to elbow him, because the Slytherin Beater was whispering something to the other Beater again. But later on, at dinner, what the students talked about the most wasn't Harry's stuttering but Seamus' outburst. 

"_My Seeker? He's __your Seeker? I knew it! I just knew it," Seamus said, his face red with anger. "Why the hell am I still trying? Why can't I just get over it? He will always be the special one for everybody! I'm tired of all of this! Poisoned my ass! I bet you and him are laughing at me and Hammpf..." _

Ron covered Seamus' mouth with his hand before he could say Harry's name. 

"_I bet it was too much sun on his head," Ron said. "You should go and rest Seamus. We all should take some rest, actually. The field is all yours, Zabini. Seamus needs water. He's clearly dehydrated! I mean, he doesn't even know what he's saying." Without taking his hand off of Seamus' mouth, Ron walked away with a silent Harry by his side. _

Ron waited for the other players to enter the castle before releasing Seamus and yelling at him.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked, aghast. 

Seamus growled something that he didn't understand. He sighed and turned to Harry, who still looked weird. 

"Harry? Are you ok?" 

Harry blinked and nodded, "Y-yes. I guess. I mean, he quit, Ron. Do you know what that means? He won't be a Seeker anymore. He loves the sky as much as I do but he quit. There's only one thing that could make him quit. It's the damn poison! He's probably too weak to play. He's… he's…"

"Snap out of it, Harry!" Seamus said, rolling his eyes. "Act like a man, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry glared at him quite offended and Ron hid a smile. 

"Draco _is poisoned, Seamus! Can't you see that Zabini was telling you the truth?" Harry snapped. "You know I don't like him but he's innocent this time. Draco was the one who kissed him because he wanted to hurt __me. Not that Zabini didn't enjoy…" _

"The bastard! I sooo knew it! Of course he enjoyed it!" Seamus snarled. "If he hadn't had second intentions with Malfoy then he would have told me about it. He _should have told me that he was seeing Malfoy! I stayed up so many nights like an idiot, waiting for him, fucking believing that he was studying! Studying my arse! I'm so stupid…"_

Harry opened his mouth to speak but someone cut in.

"I _was studying!" _

They turned around and saw Blaise fuming. Ron rolled his eyes and looked at Harry, who looked back at him with the same expression. It was time for them to leave the scene, even though Harry wanted to ask Zabini a few questions about Draco. If he wanted answers, he would have to wait. He didn't want to be caught in the middle of a lover's quarrel. 

Blaise and Seamus didn't even notice their departure.

"If you call snogging Draco Malfoy studying, I don't even want to know what you do in your spare time."

"I spend it with _you," Blaise reminded him not so gently. _

"Yeah, right."                                                                                                      

Blaise clenched his fists. "Look, Finnegan, if you don't want to believe me, FINE! But you heard Potter! You must believe him since he's the guy you love and trust so much. Potter is a saint, right? Saint Potter wouldn't lie to you ever. Trust _him_ then. And you know what? Fuck all of this! I'm going to practice. I have other thing to worry about. Something that is more important than this stupid fight." 

Blaise turned to leave but Seamus stopped him. 

"Stupid fight? Stupid fight? You kissed Malfoy! You cheated on me!" Seamus accused. "I thought that… I… I thought that you loved me, Blaise. I knew you still had a crush on him, but still I hoped… And why do you think I love Harry? I did have a crush on him but that's over now. I love you. I think it was love at first sight."

"Don't be so corny, Finnegan," Blaise grunted, although deep down he was pleased. 

"Well, you just fuck things up for us. I don't want you back."

Blaise sneered, "I didn't ask you to."

They stared at each other defiantly, but deep down they were desperate to just forget about everything and get back together. 

"Try to live without me!" Seamus dared him. "Try and see if you can do it!"

"I so can do it, Finnegan!" Blaise smirked. "You're not that important. I can live without you just fine."

"Yeah, sure. Go back to Malfoy. See if he can love you like I do. Let's find out if he is stupid enough to do all the things I do for you. Go. You said you had better things to worry about. I'm sure that talking to me is not as important as your bloody Quidditch team."

Seamus crossed his arms and turned his back at Blaise, who just rolled his eyes. A few minutes passed, and none of them said a word. Blaise sighed tiredly. He didn't want to lose Seamus. The Irishman meant the world to him. That thought came as a big surprise for him because he had promised himself never to care for anyone that much. But he did and he couldn't stand that situation any longer. 

"Ok," Blaise said at last, taking Seamus by surprise. "I already said it, and I told you I wasn't going to say it again but here it goes: I'm sorry. You're right. I did want to know what it would feel like to have him kiss me on his own free will. But it was just a temporary thing. I don't love Draco. I never did." Blaise wasn't used to open his heart like that so he added with a fake indifference, "If you don't believe me, I don't bloody care. It's not like I will die without you or anything like that." 

"So if I walk out on you right now you won't care."

"That's right." 

But Seamus saw Blaise's eyes flinch and he hid a smile. Blaise would never give up just like that. He was too proud for that. And it wasn't as if Seamus wouldn't forgive him, because he would. He had made up his mind about it even before Harry told him the truth. He just wanted Blaise to suffer a little. Truth to be told, Seamus wanted him to crawl at his feet, but he knew that wasn't going to happen, so he would just have to think about something else as a punishment for Blaise. 

"I forgive you," he finally said it.

"Really?" Blaise asked, his heart beating fast. 

"Yes."

"But?" Blaise knew that there was always a 'but'. 

"But I don't want you to lie to me ever again."

"I didn't lie, Seam, I just–"

"Omitting is the same thing as lying," Seamus cut him off with a serious expression, but then he smiled, "You called me Seam. You don't call me Seam that often."

Blaise blushed slightly. "Well, I just… It's just that… Dammit, Finnegan! Don't get used to it."

"Actually, I would like you to call me Seam on a regular basis. We are not strangers, Blaise. Not anymore." 

Blaise glared at him. He hated those moments. He wasn't the romantic type of guy. He wouldn't bring flowers or any of those silly things just because of those pretty hazelnut eyes. To just give up his heart like that was a very scary thought. He'd definitely not call him Seam often or say stupid things like 'I love you' all the time. He wasn't like that. But as he stared deep into Seamus' eyes, he felt as if he was enchanted and the three little words came out of his mouth before he could even think. 

"I love you," he whispered. 

Seamus smiled sweetly, "I know."

"Don't be so full of yourself."

And Seamus replied with a kiss. 

                                                                                    ------------------

With Blaise's _mysterious_ disappearance for the rest of the afternoon, the Slytherin team felt that it was pointless to practice without their captain and as a result the Gryffindor team went back to the field to continue their previous training. Dean was the only one to point out that Seamus was absent, but Ron told him not to worry about it. Because of Ron's insistence, Harry tried to practice a little, but soon Ron realised that his best friend wouldn't be able to focus on the Snitch that day, so he dismissed Harry earlier than the others. 

It was a sweaty Harry who met a very tired Draco along the way to the Gryffindor common room. At first, they couldn't believe their eyes. They stared at each other as if they were both facing a mirage. Draco even forgot to breathe for a second. They had been apart for only two days but it seemed much longer. Every single minute Draco had missed Harry. He had looked for him between every class and meal. Harry had been the one avoiding him and he couldn't really blame him for that. 

Neither of them seemed to know what to say, but Draco was the first one to regain his cold composure, even though to pretend an apathy that he didn't really feel was very difficult, not to mention exhausting. 

"Potter," he said drawling. 

"Malfoy," Harry replied trying to sound distant as well, but he instantly realised the ridiculous of the situation and he smiled feebly.

"What?" Draco couldn't help but ask.

"I was just thinking that this Potter-Malfoy act is kind of old. It doesn't suit us anymore."

Draco sighed, "I'm supposed you're right, as usual. Don't you ever get tired of being right all the time?"

"Not really."

They silenced, each staring at anywhere but each other. Harry wanted to ask him many questions but his lips seemed to be sealed. Draco, he noticed, looked like a scared little animal ready to attack at any movement. He wouldn't move though, no matter how much he wanted to. 

"How are you?" Harry asked, breaking the silence. 

"I'm cool." Draco shrugged. 

"Then why did you quit the team?"

Draco looked at him and smirked, "Why am I not surprise that you already know?"

"Was it supposed to be a secret or something?" Harry asked dryly. 

"No."

Harry started to get very pissed off about Draco's lack of emotions. The worst of all was to picture Draco and Zabini kissing all over again. He knew Draco was sick and that was reason of his nasty behaviour, but Harry was also facing difficulties in his life, so his anger was hard to control.  He was torn between shaking Draco until he regained his senses again or just kissing him. Words were not _that_ necessary, not at that moment. He just wanted to take Draco in his arms and assure him that everything would be all right. The yelling would have to wait until some other time. 

But it was Draco who surprised him first.

"Harry, I'm... I'm sorry," Draco whispered, looking down.

Harry tried hard to read Draco's eyes but the other boy didn't look at him.

"I didn't mean to kiss Zabini. It just happened and–" Draco rushed but Harry cut him off.

"Don't." And the rest of Draco's sentence flowed in the air.

"Why not? Because it's too late? Is that it?" Draco finally looked at Harry but his eyes seemed indecipherable. 

"No, that's not it at all. It's just... Can't you see? It doesn't matter. If it did, I wouldn't be here, standing right in front of you. I think I would have forgiven you anyway, even if I didn't know about what happened to you. You underestimate my love for you."

Draco paled. "You mean... You know. You know about..."

"Everything," Harry finished for him. 

Draco gave a step back. "How?"

"It doesn't matter, Draco. What matters is right here. What matters is what I feel. How could you not tell me? How could you even think of hiding something like that from me?" Harry's voice was filled with sadness. "I thought you trusted me."

"I do!" 

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Harry demanded.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, you did, Draco! More than you will ever know! And that's such a bullshit answer!"

Draco's eyes flickered with anger. "How dare you? You have no idea what I'm going through!"

"I know _you, Draco! The reason you didn't tell me was because you wanted to deal with it alone. You didn't want to need my help. You didn't want me to play the hero because you can't stand that. You hate to be weak, and you hate to need me."_

"That's not true!" Draco protested.

"Isn't it?"

Another moment of silence before the rampage, "Don't you fucking dare to tell me how I feel, Potter!"

"Oh, I dare a lot of things!"

"You have no right!"

"I have all the right in world! This is also about me!"

 "News flash for you, Potter, not everything is about you! This is about _me_!"

"Then it is about me because I'm part of you! Or at least that was what I thought."

That sentence made its way into Draco's heart and nudged it like a sharp knife. 

"Merlin! You are so damn..."

"What? Annoying? Stupid?"

"No! Cute!" Draco said with rage. 

After that, both became silent, not quite sure of what to say next. Harry decided that words _were unnecessary at that moment, and so he decided to act. He shortened the distance between them and captured Draco's lips with his own. Unable to resist it, Draco kissed him back with the same intensity. They broke apart slowly, breathing hard. _

"Who told you?" Draco asked after they broke apart. 

"Does it matter?"

The look Draco gave him was enough to convince him that it did matter. Harry sighed, "It was Zabini."

"I should have known." Draco looked thoughtful. "You have also talked to Snape, haven't you?"

"Why?"

"Because he's been extremely moody and when he stays that way it always has something to do with you."

Harry made a face. "Let's just say that our conversation didn't go too well."

"He's been helping me a lot."

"I know his intentions are good but they are not enough."

"Harry..."

"No, Draco. If he's such a great Potions Master, he should know what to do by now."

"He's not perfect, you know?"

"Oh, trust me, I know." Harry stroked Draco's face. "How are you?"

"I'm cool."

It was Harry's time to shot him The Look. 

"What do you want me to say, Harry? I just quit the team!" Draco answered, annoyed. 

"I still can't believe you did that."

"Well, I had to. Besides, it's not a big deal. I mean, you are the star anyway. No one will miss me."

"I will."

"You don't count."

"Of course I do. I'm the reason you play in the first place," Harry teased. 

Draco stared at him outraged. "That's so absurd! I used to play it for my father. He taught me how to fly and to do the coolest loops in the sky. He trained me to be a Quidditch player, to be the best Seeker in the world." And then Draco made a face. "I do admit that playing against you was something extra. I loved the adrenaline and the feeling that rushed through my veins every time we faced each other up there. Hell, I'll miss it mostly because of _you_! Are you happy now or do you still want me to feed your big ego?"

Harry smiled. "Yes. My ego has been starving to death ever since you stop talking to me."

"You were the one who started."

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You went out with Ginny Weasley!"

"No, I didn't."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did..." 

And Harry kissed him again.

"All right," Draco said out of breath.  "I believe you. But just so you know, I'm not stupid."

"I know that. Neither am I." Harry touched his forehead with Draco's. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's too late for that," Draco said in a sad tone of voice.

"Don't say that!"

"Harry..." Draco looked into his eyes. "I'm really sorry for everything I've done lately."

"It's all right. I know it's not up to you."

"But that's the point. What if this is the real me?"

"You can be a bastard sometimes but you're not like this, Draco. You show me the real you every time we are alone and every time I fall deeply in love with you all over again. Even though you _are_ making Neville's life miserable, and the lives of a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, you were never... consciously... cruel to them."

"Don't try to cheer me up, Potter. I know that what I did was wrong. Poor Longbottom. I didn't mean to leave him dangling in the air like that for more than an hour. If only he wasn't so clumsy! Honestly, he just can't stay away from me! It's like he loves me or something!"

"You left him dangling in the air for an hour?" Harry half-shouted.

"Well..." Draco flushed. "I thought you knew about it. It was kind of funny. And he's fine."

"Fine? I can't believe this. Neville is terrifying of heights!"

"He's fine, Potter."

"This is the sort of stupid joke that could have you expelled!"

"McGonagall already gave me detention for a lifetime, Harry."

Harry shook his head. "I guess I'll have to keep both eyes on you."

"I don't need a baby-sitter," Draco nagged. 

"I think you do."

Draco sighed, "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, Draco, son of Lucifer, I mean, Lucius."

"Hahaha," Draco forced a laugh. "It's not funny."

Harry kissed him softly. "You'll have to apologise to Neville."

"McGonagall made me do that already."

"Good."

Draco locked their lips together. "I missed you, stupid four-eyes."

"Not as much as I missed you."

Harry stretched out his hand for Draco and the blond caught it with sparkling eyes. Hand in hand, they started to walk towards their sanctuary up in the Astronomy Tower. Draco stopped him though.

"What?"

"I never thought I would say this again, Harry, but you stink."

Harry smiled slightly. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm not complaining though. This Seeker uniform is hot, but I have high standards. Not that the sweat is not attractive but... Well, it's a matter of hygiene. You know how I am. There's _mud_ on you, Harry."

Harry frowned as he looked down and spotted an almost imperceptible mud stain in his Quidditch trousers. 

"Don't you think you are overreacting?"

"No."

"Does that mean we can't go to the Astronomy Tower unless I take a shower?"

"Yes."

"Huh. Ok. So... I guess I'll go to the common room and..."

"Don't be stupid, Harry. Can't you read between the lines? Honestly... Do I have to write it down? You don't need to go to your room. Not when my quarter is closer _and has a new improved bathtub. Not only that, but you will also have _me_ for company."_

"I see." Harry smiled. "But you still didn't convince me."

"What? Are you mental? I'll be inside the tub, too. There's no way it can get better than this."

"I guess you are right."

"You guess?"

Harry shrugged. "I can think of a lot of things to make this picture looks much better."

"Such as..."

Harry whispered what he wanted in Draco's ear and the blond felt a heat running down his body. 

"Oh, I think that can be arranged," Draco whispered back, kissing him. "But you have to admit that–"

"Draco?"

"What?"

"Just shut up."

Draco smiled against Harry's lips. "It's good to talk to you again, Harry."

And they smiled to each other and to themselves. Reality would have to wait for a while. 

A/N: Please, review!                                          


	9. To Speak is a Sin

Disclaimer: not mine… 

**Special thanks**: Jamie; Katie; Bunny-kuo; Hyperbole and Ariel, my betas. And a big kiss to all the reviewers!

**A/N:** I'm really, really sorry for the delay. Really. 

Be aware that I will keep writing this fic like HP 5 had never been written. Otherwise the plot won't work at all. If you read it, you know what I'm talking about. I haven't read it yet but I know a major thing about it… It is so sad. Anyway, enjoy! This is all about James and Lucius. The next chapter will have a lot more of Harry and Draco. 

"To speak is a sin 

_You look first, then stare_

_And once in a while_

_A smile, if you dare"_

_To Speak Is a Sin – Pet Shop Boys___

Chap. 9 – **TO SPEAK IS A SIN**

He was ignoring him again. If there was one thing James hated more than anything else was to be ignored. He couldn't understand why he was being shut out by Lucius like that since the whole point of bringing him to the cottage was for them to talk. Lucius had established that on their first encounter and yet he was as mute as a Kneazle. In fact, James thought with a smile, Lucius' personality resembled that cat-like creature very well. He was very intelligent and sneaky, not to mention defensive and grumpy just like a Kneazle. James could bet that if Lucius was an Animagus, he was probably a Kneazle. 

Furtively, he glanced at Lucius. He didn't know why he couldn't stop staring at him. Something about Lucius always attracted his attention. It had nothing to do with the fact that Lucius looked more mature and good-looking at the age of 36 than when he had been 17. No, that wasn't it. It was probably something to do with the fact that he was part Veela. That particular fact had never been proved, but what else could explain why Lucius seemed to be so damn luscious to him? 

_'Luscious, Lucius… Now I know why the prick has such a devastating effect on me. It's his bloody name!' James thought with amusement._

"Stop staring!" he heard Lucius exclaiming, waking him up of his reverie. 

"I wasn't staring at _you," James quickly denied. _

Lucius frowned at the obvious lie. He had no idea why James had been staring at him for three days in a row but he didn't like the tingle he felt running down his spine every time he caught that look. He wondered if he was reading the signals right. Could it be that James wanted to _revive_ their past? Lucius shook his head at the idea. Of course James wasn't interested in that. He was probably thinking of ways to kill Lucius in his sleep. 

He heard James murmur something not so polite and he smirked. He had the impression that if he talked, then they would argue and the arguing would turn into a fight. He wasn't in the mood for that. Instead of fighting, he turned his attention to one of the shelves of the basement and went back to look for a book for Draco's problems. 

"Can I ask you something?" James asked, breaking Lucius' concentration.

Lucius didn't bother to look at him. "You already did."

"Don't you know a spell that can call up the book we need faster?" James went on as if he had heard nothing. "It's been three days already and yet we found nothing. I'm starting to think that we'll never find that book. Not that I want to stop looking for it. It's just that... It's frustrating. You have too many books for us to handle alone. It will take forever to find anything in here!"

"If I knew a spell like that, Potter, I wouldn't have spent three days confined in this place with _you. You could have convinced Dobby to help if you were smart enough. But you have to have morals. __'He's free now. We can't obligate him to do things for us that he doesn't want to'," Lucius imitated James' speech from two days earlier. "I would have _obligated_ him but the bloody house-elf doesn't take orders from me anymore. The little thing likes to rub that fact in my face every chance he gets."_

"I wonder why," James sneered.

Lucius shot him an angry look and James felt very pleased for getting under his skin at last. 

"Why don't you just ask him nicely? I'm sure he would do it," James suggested.

"Why don't _you ask him? I would have asked Gelmina if she wasn't allergic to the bloody books..."_

"I will. But he will want you to pay him for the extra service."

Lucius looked at him in awe. He couldn't even consider _paying_ a house-elf to do that job.

"You're too soft, Potter. _Extra_ _service? What a fucking joke!"_

James laughed and caught a book from the shelf without looking. Distractedly, he opened it, forgetting what Lucius had said to him earlier about how dangerous those books could be. Instantly, an acute screech echoed around the room and he dropped the book on the floor to cover his ears. It was a very irritated Lucius who shut it down.

"For Merlin's sake, Potter! Pay attention to what you're doing! That was a Banshee's scream!" Lucius yelled madly, throwing the book away. "You could have killed us! Don't you remember our bloody DADA lessons? A Banshee can bloody explode our head with that damn screech!"

"It's a bloody book! How can a book kill us?" James replied defensively. 

"It's a bloody _dark_ magic book!" Lucius fumed. "How many times do I have to tell you NOT to open them?"

Lucius went back to the other side of the shelf without waiting for James' retort. 

"Do you know what cheers me up, Malfoy? It's to know that Voldemort wants your head as much as he wants mine!"

"Good for you, Potter. You're finally getting it," Lucius said without even glancing at him. 

The silence reigned in the room again and James cursed himself for it. He knew he had been behaving like a child but he couldn't help it. Lucius brought out the worst in him. It had always been like that between them. James never meant to sound so childish every time they talked but that was exactly what happened. He was tired of it. 

Lucius not only annoyed him till the end but he also confused him. It was a well-known fact that Lucius was a bastard, but a bastard that cared for his son. He had been putting up quite an effort to help Draco. Everyone – including him – thought that Lucius didn't have a heart, but the defeat in his eyes every time they got out of the basement at the end of the day without a proper solution to Draco's case was very human and very real. Those eyes had softened James' heart. 

And there was more. Lucius had nightmares and very bad ones. James had heard him cry more than once. He wanted to bring the subject up but didn't know how to do it. Even if he did, he was sure that Lucius would tell him to mind his own business. 

"Are you sure you have a book for Draco's problem?" James asked quietly, trying to be friendly.

"No." Lucius' eyes flinched. "But it's worth a try. Besides, we're looking for your book as well."

"Right. _Calling for Missing Souls is definitely on my list."_

"It's a great book, Potter. It was written in Ancient Roman. Back then they didn't have such a fragile spirit as you do. Men were tough and dark magic was used as much as any other kind," Lucius explained. "Today you can't even listen to the word dark and you already get scared. What a sissy… So fragile, indeed."

"I don't have a fragile spirit!" James shoved a book back in the shelf violently. "Just because I don't use dark magic it doesn't mean I am weak."

"There's nothing wrong with dark magic. It's just magic, for Merlin's sake!" Lucius retorted. 

"It's evil," James stated.

"It depends on the person's intentions," Lucius defended. 

"You have a book that kills, Malfoy. You probably have bunches of them! How can that be good?"

Lucius just shrugged. "It's a self-defence mechanism."

"Yeah, right."

"It's useless to talk to you, Potter. I don't know why I bother."

"You don't, that's the problem," James let it out. Lucius looked at him in disbelief and since it was too late to take it back, James went on, "I thought I heard you say once that the reason you brought me here was for us to talk, but you have been doing anything but talk to me these past few days. It's like I don't even exist. Not that I want to talk to you but the silence is annoying! I fear you the most when you're quiet. I never know what to expect from you. You're driving me insane! One minute you are a bastard and the next you have these stupid asthma attacks and become as fragile as glass and I have all these incongruent feelings and... and..."

"_Incongruent, Potter?" Lucius asked as much surprised as amused. "Such a difficult word to learn. How long did you take to decorate it? Do you even know the meaning of it?"_

"Haha. You're so bloody funny," James smirked. "I'd always had better grades than you, Malfoy, in case you don't remember."

"Not _always, Potter.  And just for the record, I am _not_ fragile," Lucius stated. _

"Oh, right. You are Mr. Independent."

"That's right. I need nobody."

"Sure. Whatever."

They became silent again, each lost in their own thoughts. Lucius would have liked to remind James that once he had depended on him just to be left alone in the end, but he decided to be quiet. It surprised him that James wanted them to _talk. Sure they needed to talk, but having James so close to him wasn't working at all like he expected. Lucius had been so certain that once they were together he would realise he had gotten over James. That couldn't be further from the truth. The worst part of it all was that James was __irritating. It was difficult to understand why he was attracted to the prick. _

Lucius had also stayed distant because he had thought that that was what James wanted. Well, he wasn't _that altruistic, really. If truth was told, he was having a hard time controlling himself when he was next to James. The man was a temptation, and that was why he had to keep the distance between them. At least for the time being. He had to focus on Draco. His son was his priority. _

"If you are tired, go upstairs and leave me alone," Lucius said suddenly. "And stop staring!"

He couldn't stand James' stare any longer. If that kept going, he would do something not so appropriate under those circumstances. He would surrender to those feelings of need and lust that he longed to forget. 

"I'm _not staring. And I'm not tired, either. I want to help you. Not that I'm doing this for _you_," James rushed. "I'm doing this for Draco."_

"I bet you're doing it for your son as well, after all, they are… _close_ to each other." 

James froze at those words. He had been avoiding thinking about Harry and Draco as a couple but he felt as if he couldn't avoid that any longer. Lucius had clearly insinuated that their sons shared something more than just friendship. Or maybe James' imagination was running wild and Lucius was just being the usual bastard. Either way, it was a scary thought. Could it be that their past was repeating itself all over again? Were their sons romantically involved?

"How close are they?" James asked, deciding to deal with it once and for all.

Lucius locked his eyes with James' and said, "Very close."

"Could you be more specific?" 

"Get real, Potter. You know what's going on between them! You caught Draco wearing your son's clothes!"

James felt suddenly dizzy and he had to sit down not to fall. Lucius rolled his eyes.

"Don't be such a Drama Queen. Just face the fact that your son and mine are shagging and move on."

"Good lord! They are… t-they are…," James stuttered.

"I think the word you're looking for is _shagging_. I don't like it, either, but Draco refuses to listen to me. He is too stubborn.  And as much as I hate to admit, Harry seems to really like him, so… All I can do is to wait for your son to break my son's heart and pick up the pieces afterwards. Not before enjoying your son's downfall, of course," Lucius smirked.

"If you do something bad to Harry I'll kill you. Besides, it's more likely for _your son to break his heart! Harry looked pretty upset and sad last time I saw him. I bet it had something to do with your son." Lucius was about to reply but James cut him off, "I do admit that Draco seems like a good boy though. Not at all like _you_."_

"If you're comparing me to Draco at that age, I wasn't that different." Lucius stopped talking, afraid that he had already given away too much of his true feelings. 

"What do you mean?" James asked. 

Lucius shook his head and hid his face in a book to cover his embarrassment. James sighed and stood up. The silence fell upon the room again, and for a long time they stayed that way. James tried hard to remember some details of his past, especially those that had Lucius in it. He didn't know Draco that well but somehow he was almost positive that he wasn't like Lucius. But what if he was wrong? What if Draco was as difficult to handle as Lucius? What if Lucius wasn't as bad as he had thought?

_'Stay with me, Jamie. Please.' _

James opened his eyes wide. Where did that come from? That voice seemed so familiar. 

_'You're a bloody coward, Potter! Go back to your mudblood girlfriend!' _

He shuddered at the memory. He shut his eyes in order to concentrate harder.

_'What's that on your back?'_

_'Nothing.'___

_'Bullshit, Lucius! What is it?'_

_'Just let it go, James.'                    _

Then James heard another voices. 

_'His father… has been abusing him for years, Albus.'_

_'I'm shocked, Poppy. I wished I could have done something... We all know what Archibald is capable of, but this is just hideous. He should be arrested. And now it seems like he's joining Voldemort and obligating his son to…'_

James opened his eyes but they were focused somewhere else. The voices kept invading his head.

_'I'm pregnant, James.'_

_'Help me, James.'_

_'He tried to kill her, James. Lucius Malfoy tried to kill Lily. I say we go get the bastard right now!'_

_'It wasn't me! It was my father! Please, James, listen to me!'_

_'Go back to your mudblood girlfriend! You're a bloody coward, Potter!'_

"Stop it," James muttered and the voices vanished from his head. 

He looked around disoriented, trying to understand what had just happened. 

"Malfoy?" he called, his heart beating many miles per hour. 

"What, Potter?" answered Lucius distractedly. 

"What happen to your father?"

James thought he saw Lucius' hand shake but since Lucius looked as cold as usual he wasn't so sure.

"Why are you asking?" Lucius asked coldly.

"Just answer me."

"I killed him," Lucius explained calmly as if he was talking about the weather. "I expect Draco to do the same thing with me. It'll be a family tradition. Maybe his son will kill him, too. We are such a wonderful family, don't you think? I see you look shocked, Potter," Lucius smirked. "Don't be. I never loved my father. I know what you want to ask me next so I'll just say it. I killed the old bastard because he killed my brother. And that is all I have to say about this."

"It's so horrible. I didn't know," said James more than just shocked. 

"Of course you didn't! You were supposed to be dead! You were living a tranquil life miles away from here."

There was suddenly a knot in James' throat. He realised that there were memories he didn't want to remember but that he had to, whether he wanted or not. His history with Lucius wasn't as it seemed to be. And they were _his_ memories so he couldn't ask Lucius about them. Maybe Lucius could complete a few blanks in his life but not all of them. 

"Why the sudden interest in my father?" Lucius asked. At the lack of response, Lucius looked up. "Potter?"

James wasn't hearing anymore. A sudden flash of light had crossed his eyes, blinding him. His head exploded in pain and he fell on the floor screaming.  Lucius dropped the book he was holding and went by James' side, catching his hand and squeezing it. James vaguely saw Lucius point his wand at his forehead and mutter something, but the torrent of images and sounds in his head were preventing him from any kind of reaction. After a while his vision regained focus again. Slowly, he started to pull himself together. 

"Are you all right? Fuck! You scared me to death!" he heard Lucius saying. "I keep forgetting that you are as sick as my son. I should perform that spell for you fast. Dammit! If God really exists, he's a sadistic bastard! Doing this to me… I can't believe this," Lucius said, frustrated. "Can you hear me, James?"

James nodded and placed a hand on his forehead. "My head hurts."

"Stay still. I'll ask Gelmina and Dobby to take you to your room."

"No, I'm fine." James stood up and stumbled.

"You're not fine, Potter!"

"I am! I just need to rest a little." James leaned back on the shelf. 

"You're so stubborn!" Lucius exclaimed, irritated.

"Why are you so concerned?" James asked.

"Dumbledore. He would ask for my head if something happened to you," Lucius explained it, even though it wasn't the truth. _He_ was concerned, but he couldn't let James know about it. "I thought your headaches had gotten better."

"They did. But I don't remember everything yet, and some memories are just too painful. Sometimes I have the feeling that I don't want to remember anything else because the memories will hurt me." James looked at Lucius. "We slept together more than twice. I saw bruises on you back but you refused to tell me about them. I can't remember the rest! I keep hearing all these voices in my head but they tell me nothing! Nothing makes any sense!"

Lucius flinched. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do, Lucius. You know darn well!" 

Lucius stepped back. "If you can't remember than it's your bloody problem, Potter!" 

"What are you afraid of?"

"I am not afraid of anything!"

"Yes, you are. I can see it in your eyes."

"Just drop it, James! I don't want to talk about it! I didn't want it then, I don't want it now!"

They stared at each other and Lucius was the first to look away, to James' utter surprise. 

_'To speak is a sin, James.'_

"To speak is a sin, James," Lucius repeated the same phrase he had said to him many years ago. 

"You called me James," James pointed out suddenly. 

"No, I didn't," Lucius said defensively. 

 James smiled feebly. "Yes, you did."

Lucius felt confused by that smile. "I can't understand you, Potter. It's like you have a double personality."

"I guess the same goes for you. Why didn't you tell me you and I slept together more than twice?"

Lucius shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I don't like to remember. Besides, you enjoy being the victim."

"What's that got to do with it?"

"It's easier for you to think that we only fucked because you were under _Imperius_."

"That's not true," James retorted, outrageous.

"It is, Potter."

"Well, if I enjoy being the victim, you sure enjoy being the bastard quite a lot!"

Lucius sneered, "I can't deny that, can I?"

"I guess not. I remembered something, Malfoy. Did you try to kill Lily?" James let it drop like a bomb.

Lucius paled almost imperceptibly, but he soon regained his composure. "Does it matter?"

"No, but only because I know you didn't do it. Dumbledore told me right after Harry was born."

"Then why did you ask?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to hear it from you. I knew you hated her but somehow I didn't believe that you were responsible for attacking her. I was confused. I didn't know what to believe. All I knew was that… that I had to protect her. You didn't try to kill her, right? Was Dumbledore telling the truth?"

"Yes. It was my father who tried to kill her, not me." 

Lucius stared at him with a weird look and his gaze left James unbalanced.

"What else do you remember?" Lucius asked cautiously. 

"I remember..." James closed his eyes for a moment to hold on to his ephemeral memories. "Something about your father. Something that Dumbledore said to me. He said he was a cruel man and that was all he could tell me at that point. But then I overheard his conversation with Madam Pomfrey and... I can't remember what the hell happened next! I can't even remember their exact words. All I can remember after that was Voldemort in my house and... And...," James voiced failed. 

"I know. You still don't remember who fucked with you, do you? Does the name Pettigrew ring any bells?"

"Pettigrew? Yes, I remember him. He was this very small and clumsy boy who used to ask for my help all the time."

Lucius shook his head but decided to be quiet. James needed to remember things on his own. He was a little concerned about what Dumbledore had said to him about his father, but he wouldn't ask any more questions. He hated to even think about his father. There were certain things that were better left alone. The old bastard, who he had the displeasure to call father, was one was of those things. 

"Lucius?" he heard James called him softly. 

"Don't call me that," he replied harshly. "I'm tired of you, and I'm tired of this sick trip to the past! I don't want to remember anything about my past, Potter. Wait, let me finish," he rushed when he saw James ready to argue. "I know I said we needed to talk but I just realise that I don't want to."

"Don't you want to or are you afraid of what you may find out?"

James had touched a painful open wound. Lucius felt like he had to get out of there at that instant.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I don't feel like talking. I think I'll go pay a visit to Damiana. While I'm gone, you should get some sleep. I'll be back at five. I need to buy a few items in Hogsmeade and–"

"Damiana? Who is she?" James asked without hiding his jealousy.

"None of your business," Lucius answered coldly. 

"After this turmoil in my head you will just leave me here so that you can get laid?" James felt outrageous.

"What do you expect? I'm a bastard, remember? That's what bastards do."

"I want to go with you," James said defiantly. 

"You what?" Lucius looked at him horrified.

"You heard me," James said triumphantly. "I'll go with you."

"You can't be seen, Potter!"

"And I won't. I'll be in disguise."

"How?"

"Well, I think I can still become Prongs," James said with a grin. 

"Prongs?" Lucius asked as if he was talking to a lunatic.

James pondered if it was wise to tell Lucius about that. He would not only be putting his life in danger, but his friends' lives as well. Somehow, he felt like he could trust Lucius. He didn't know why but he had the sudden urge to please Lucius, to explain everything to him. He didn't need to tell him about Padfoot or Moony. He'd be enough. 

"Prongs was my name when I was an Animagus. I was a stag," James explained quietly. 

"What?" Lucius opened his eyes wide. "You are an Animagus? _You? Damn you, Potter!" Lucius swore. _

"Well, I'm out of practice really. I don't know if I'll be able to become Prongs that easy but I'm optimistic."

"I should have known. Damn you, Potter! Damn you to hell! Why did you make it and I didn't? I don't get it! I did everything right! And why didn't you choose a tiger or a puma? Christ! Only you would choose such a delicate and _queer animal! I won't walk with a deer by my side," Lucius warned._

"It's a _stag. A stag is a very large, beautiful and strong animal, Malfoy. Anyway, a deer is a cute animal."_

"Stag, deer, what's the bloody difference?"

Lucius didn't care. All that mattered was that James Potter was an Animagus and he wasn't. He had thought about becoming one for a while, until he read that a wrong transformation could turn him into a monster. Yet, James had succeeded. But then again, the bastard always had a considerable strike of luck. Not just luck but everything. James had been the best Chaser Hogwarts had ever known. Lucius hated him for that and it was precisely because of _that_ that he ended up teaching Draco how to be a Seeker instead. He had been afraid that Harry Potter would follow his father's steps. What a joke. Harry had turned to be the best Seeker of the school, and Draco had ended up just like Lucius, hidden in Potter's shadow. 

_'Like father, like son.' Lucius thought bitterly. _

The Potters always made the Malfoys' lives a living hell. He snarled angrily. 

"All right, Potter! I don't care how the hell you became an Animagus. You can come with me as long as you don't say a word. Damiana is a very smart woman and she can't be trusted so you better watch your back. One word, Potter, just one, and I'll kick your sorry arse! Do you understand me?"

"How can you sleep with this woman if you don't trust her?"

Lucius almost laughed insanely. "I can't believe you just asked that."

James looked at him offended. "That's not funny."

"It's hilarious, Potter." Lucius got closer to James. "I didn't trust you either, and yet I slept with you, didn't I? Just like I married Narcissa, as a matter of fact. Do you think I trusted her? I made sure that we had separate rooms right after our honeymoon in order to have a decent night of sleep without asking myself if that would be the day that she would kill me." Lucius took a deep breath. "Come to think of it, I did trust you once, like I had never trusted anyone in my entire life. Look how all turned out."

James focused on Lucius' lips and whispered, "That's not true. You never trusted me. Just like I never trusted you. That was why everything fell apart. I don't know if Draco and Harry are actually together, but somehow I think your son trusts mine. You never trusted me, Lucius."

"Don't you dare tell me what I felt back then, Potter," Lucius growled. "You have no idea."

"I don't because you never told me!"

Lucius almost had a tantrum. He counted to ten to restrain himself.

"You have ten minutes to get ready or I'll leave you here," he warned. 

"What? Wait!"                                                                                       

Lucius didn't hear him and headed upstairs. James went after him quite irritated. 

"How are we getting out of here? Isn't Hogsmeade far away from here? Where are we anyway?"

"We are very close to Hogsmeade."

"Really?" James asked, surprised. 

"Yes, Potter. I want you hooded. I won't walk with an Animagus by my side. Once we are there, please try to blend in and call as minimal attention as possible. I don't even want to hear your voice. Not a peep, Potter! And before you complain about it, let me warn you that it's not safe out there. Hogsmeade has been under Voldemort's vigilance day in day out. We can't make it easy for them to catch us."

"Good point, Malfoy. You are a wanted man now, not only for Voldemort but for the Ministry as well."

"I know. But I can take care of myself."

"I can take care of myself, too."

"Can you?"

James made Lucius turn so they could be face to face. 

"Don't worry. I'll be very quiet, Malfoy," James whispered close to Lucius' lips. "You won't even know I'm there."

Lucius began to feel nervous at the proximity of their bodies. James was doing it on purpose, he knew it. Two could play that game. 

"Care for joining Damiana and me in a threesome, Potter?" Lucius said seductively. "Perhaps that was your intention all along."

James pushed him away. "Is that what you are going to do in Hogsmeade? Have sex?"

They stared and Lucius was astonished to see hurt in James' eyes. He didn't know why he felt like he had to say the truth. He didn't want to. It wasn't as if he owed Potter any explanations. But somehow, as he looked at James' deep blue eyes, he felt like he had to.

"No," he whispered and soon pulled himself together. "Five minutes, Potter."

And then he left. 

                                                           ------------------

As soon as they entered Gewgaws, Damiana's little store in Hogsmeade, James felt strangely peaceful. There was some kind of magic in the air that seemed to let him quite calm. Lucius didn't seem affected by it though, which made him wonder if his current peace of mind had something to do with walking side by side with Luc for little more than thirty minutes. Wait a second. Had he just thought about Lucius as _Luc_? Was he _that mad already? He shook his head. Now, more than ever, he was certain that there __was something in air, messing with his head. _

With the corner of his eyes, and his head protected by a large black hood, he watched Lucius talking to a short and quite attractive witch named Damiana. She had long black hair and intense black eyes, and her smile was very friendly. She didn't seem untrustworthy at all. She looked more like one of Lily's friends, one that used to smile all the time and lend her Potions notes to Sirius. 

James smiled sadly at the memory. 

"Your friend is sad," he heard Damiana say to Lucius.

"Is he?" Lucius shot James a cold look. "How perceptive of you. It amazes me that you can tell how he feels if you can't even see his face. Besides, who said we are friends? Mind your own business, Damiana."

James frowned at Lucius' open aggressive towards his lover. He was even more surprised at Damiana's calm expression. James would never let Lucius talk to him like that. Damiana didn't seem to mind though. James didn't know if he should feel angry about it or not. 

"My visions used to amaze me, too," said Damiana with a smile. "I'm more than used to them now."

"What do you have for me?" Lucius asked dryly, not in the mood to discuss Damiana's weird perception. 

"I have what you want. It's in the next room. But I still don't have the answer to your son's problem."

At those words, both Lucius and James stared at her with surprise.

"What do you know about that? Who told you?" Lucius asked quickly. 

"You should have known by now, Lucius, that I know everything. But don't worry. I won't tell anyone. It's useless anyway. Everyone that matters already knows. And it's not like I have something to gain from it. One thing I know for sure is that your son will find peace very soon. You shouldn't worry," she said mysteriously. 

"What do you mean by _peace_?"

"You'll know when the time comes."

"Damiana, don't play your sick games with me! Just tell me what–"

"It's useless, Lucius," she cut him off. "I won't tell you. I can't tell you. You know the rules. Now, let's talk business. Go to the other room and see for yourself the _merchandise. Then we will negotiate prices. That book was very expensive. Don't even get me started with the other __stuff! The black market… It's so awful. Cost me a lot of my money. Go on and see for yourself."_

Lucius glanced at James before going into the next room. James was more surprised to see him obey her so easily than to hear about the _black market_.  

"James Potter," called Damiana when they were alone.

James glanced at her shocked. "How do you–"

 "Like I said, I know everything. Well, _almost everything. It's quite annoying most of the time." She walked towards him and stopped a few feet away. "You can take off your hood. I won't inform anyone that you're here. It's a pleasure to meet you. I know your son. He bought two items from me already: a silver ring and an Argus. The Argus was hard to let go though. Those pieces are quite rare."_

James took off the hood. "Why did he buy those things?"

"Because they were destined to find him. I was only a carrier. But what you want to know is who got the ring, and the Argus, right? Do you want to see it?"

"Can you show me?" she nodded and he asked, "How?"

He followed her to the back of the room and she made him stare at a blue crystal ball. James smiled.

"Everyone knows that crystal balls don't work," he said.

"This is not an ordinary ball, James."

"I don't trust you."

"Oh, I think you do." Damiana looked into his eyes and he felt hypnotised. "Take a look at the ball and it will show you where the silver ring and the Argus are. Concentrate. Concentrate very hard..."

Her voice went on in a hypnotic tone. His blue orbs enlarged, focusing only inside the ball. Everything around him seemed to disappear, and he was left with only Draco and Harry in a large room. He held his breath at the vision, amazed and shocked at the same time. He watched his son putting the ring in Draco's finger, kissing it. The boys kissed and then he heard Harry say quite clearly. 

'I was never in love with her. Not even with her amulet trying to control my feelings. I was never in love with her because I was in love with you.' 

And that was the end of James doubts about their relationship. His son was in love with the son of Satan. And the worst of it all was that _he_ was in love with Satan himself. He opened his eyes wide at the scary thought. It was the revelation moment. He loved Lucius in the past; he was still in love with him in the present. Why, he had no idea.

The image changed. He saw his son again talking to a moody Draco. His heart broke at the sight of Harry's sad expression, but that didn't take long. Harry gave the Argus to Draco and things between them went back to normal. It was quite a shock to be able to witness how strong their love for each other was because the love was clear in every gesture and tender touches. 

James couldn't help but feel ashamed of himself, of his weakness. In the past, he hadn't been strong enough to admit his love for another boy let alone for Lucius. Lucius had always been cold and restrained when they were together, but James hadn't made things easier for him to be anything else. He used to complain about Lucius' lack of feelings, but what about him? He had always treated Lucius very badly. He had never given Lucius a chance to show him who he really was, to prove to him that he could be a better man. 

He blinked, a few memories coming back to him. Damiana placed a hand on his back to wake him.

"Why?" James asked in a whisper. "Why do I realise that I love him just by looking at Draco and Harry?"

"Because they reminded you of what you really wanted."

"I can't love him. Not anymore."

"Love doesn't work that way."

"But..."

She placed a finger on his lips. "You can't hide yourself from it anymore, James Potter. Actually, I advise you not to do it. It would be too painful not only for you but for him as well. I usually don't give people advice but this time I feel like I have to."

"He despises me," James affirmed very sure of it. 

"Does he?" she took a blue ring from one of the shelves and gave it to him. "You must have realised by now that I only sell very unique magical objects. The one you're holding is called The True Love Ring. There are only three of them in the whole world. Put this in Lucius' finger and if it turns a very vivid red, it's because you and him are meant to be."

James smirked, "Yeah, right."

"It's true!"

"How do I know if this is not a control device of some sort? That it won't make him kill me the moment I put it on his finger?"

She smiled. "You have quite an imagination."

"It's not imagination. It's called paranoia. You would have it, too, if Voldemort had destroyed your life."

"The ring is not evil, James. But you won't find out unless you put it on his finger."

"What about the objects you sold Harry?"

"Oh, they can be dangerous. They can destroy your son, but only if used against him. The centaurs predicted death and pain for the future. Harry won't be immune to those things as much as anybody else will. But even though the centaurs can't see a bright future, I can. I believe in Harry Potter. He will save us all. He will know exactly what to do with those objects."

"Will he save himself?" James asked with his heart in his mouth.   

Damiana didn't answer because Lucius came back to the room with a book on his hands and almost collapsed to see James without the hood and talking to Damiana, when he had strictly forbidden James to talk to her and to anyone else for that matter. 

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed. 

"Oh, chill out, Lucius. I knew your companion was James Potter. Haven't I told you a thousand times that you can't hide things from me? Especially not on my battlefield! So, shall we do business now? Are you satisfied with the book and the rest of the _stuff?"_

Lucius glared at James and then at Damiana. "Yes, I'm satisfied. It has everything I need."

While Lucius and Damiana discussed the price for a true 'masterpiece of ancient magic' according to her, James considered everything he had just found out. That day had been awfully stressful and he wanted nothing more than to go back to the cabin and hide himself from the world. He was good at hiding, he thought with bitterness. 

He looked outside the window, wishing Lily was there to guide him. Lily had known James better than he had known himself. He closed his eyes as a few more memories invaded his head. He almost whimpered when he recollected the day Lily said to him that she knew about his feelings for Lucius and that she wanted him to go to him. 

_'I don't mind, James. I guess… I guess you and I are living a dream. A beautiful dreams, but just a dream. We have Harry connecting us forever, but we both know that we are just best friends. He needs you, you said it yourself. I see how much you want to be with him. Go to him. I guess… I guess that maybe it's time for me to admit my feelings for **him**__ as well.' _

James took a deep breath, his heart beating painfully inside. The man Lily had loved but never said anything had been the detestable Severus Snape. James wondered if he should tell the grease bastard that Lily liked him and that she had died loving him. 

He opened his eyes and stared blankly at the peaceful landscape. That day, many years ago, he had packed his things to go looking for Lucius, to tell him that he loved him more than anything. But Voldemort had found him first. 

James' head started to ache but he stayed quiet. He was confused, to say the least. Lucius would never believe him and he didn't even know where to begin with. There was so much to fix between them, so many words left unsaid. He sighed, and while he thought about it, something caught his attention. He blinked a few times in order to convince himself that he was daydreaming, but no matter how many times his eyelashes batted, the two identical blond boys wouldn't leave his sight. 

"Malfoy?" he called. 

"What, Potter? Can't you see I'm busy over here?" Lucius answered, annoyed.

"Does Draco have a twin?" 

Lucius glared at him before replying belligerently, "No, Potter! What kind of stupid question is that?"

"This will sound very crazy but I think… I think that I'm seeing double. There are two Dracos out there."

"What?" Lucius asked worriedly, going to the window to see for himself and gasping at the sight of the blond boys. "What the fuck." 

"Indeed. What's going on?"

Damiana shuddered as a vision came upon her. "The sky is darkening."

"What are you talking about? The sky looks pretty normal to me."

"I think she's talking metaphorically, Malfoy," James explained as if he was talking to a child. 

"Shut up, Potter."

"He's coming. You must go. Now. Things are about to get really messy." Damiana's eyes opened wide. 

"What? Who's coming?" it was James time to ask.

Lucius didn't take too long to realise that the person coming was Voldemort. 

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," she said. "Pretty soon Hogsmeade will be full of Death Eaters. Oh, no!" she covered her mouth with her hands. "He's here as well. But why? He shouldn't be here. You can't stay, James, and neither can you, Lucius, but I'm afraid you will have to. He's too close. He can claim your soul."

"Who the hell is here, too?" Lucius shouted, hating the fact that Damiana was speaking so incoherently. 

And when she said it, James almost had a heart attack. 

"Harry…" 

                                                               -----------------

Life hadn't been too easy for Ron Weasley. It looked as though he had everything he'd ever wanted, but somehow, there was still missing something very important. Maybe it was _peace, he thought with a grimace. It didn't matter that he was the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, or that Hermione was finally his. It didn't even matter that he was actually paying attention to classes that year and worrying about his future. No. None of those things mattered when his best friend was always in a life and death situation, and his girlfriend was keeping secrets from him, and even worse, when Voldemort had just sent him an _Invitation_ __Letter to join him._

He was ashamed to admit that he was tempted. The things Voldemort promised were very hard to dismiss. He could have money and prestige, for instance. But what was the point of having those things if in order to get them he would have to torture and kill innocent people? 

Many students had been departing Hogwarts without a good explanation, but everyone knew that they had left to join the Death Eaters. The most surprising thing was to notice that they weren't all Slytherins. There were at least two Gryffindors and a couple of Ravenclaws among them, too. 

He looked at the letter, wondering if he should just burn or show it to Harry and Hermione first. 

"Ron! Thank God I found you."

Ron turned around and saw Hermione running in his direction with a worried expression. 

"What happened?" Ron quickly said, folding the letter and putting it inside his pocket. 

His face went slightly red for getting caught with that letter in his hands, but Hermione didn't notice a thing. Of course, she didn't even know what the letter was about, and Ron decided to wait to tell her. The truth was that he was afraid of her reaction. 

After regaining her breath, Hermione spit it out, "Harry is going to something stupid."

"What's new?" Ron dared to joke. 

If Hermione wasn't so tired from the running, she would have hexed him. 

"We don't have time to lose, Ron. We need to find Harry."

"How do you know he's in trouble?"

"Ginny saw him stealing Polyjuice potion from Snape's office."

"What? How did that happen?"

"I don't know, Ron, that's why we have to find him," Hermione said in a rush. "I don't know what Harry's up to, but it can't be good. I looked for him everywhere but I couldn't find him. I think he's going to meet Pansy today. Do you know what that means?"

"That he's a bastard for leaving us out of the plan!" Ron exclaimed.

"That's a way to look at it." Hermione frowned. "Come to think of it, Harry _is a bastard for leaving us out. But that's not the point here. Don't you remember what Dumbledore said today? He forbade the students to go to Hogsmeade. He didn't say why, but we all know that the reason is probably Voldemort. Can't you see? Harry is up to something and if he is really going to Hogsmeade today, he's in grave danger! We need to stop him! Or at least go to his rescue!"_

"Bollocks!"

"We have to find Professor Lupin and warn him about it. He will know what to do."

"Alright." 

And so they headed for Remus' office, Ron's decision of telling her about the letter long forgotten... 

                                                                       --------------

Harry looked around and seeing no one in sight, he stopped in front of the humpbacked witch and said the password. The statue slid aside and he made his way into the darkness ahead. Before he could go any further though, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped from the fright. He turned around and met a pair of very cold silver-blue eyes. 

"Draco! What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing, Potter," Draco pointed out, crossing his arms.

Harry sighed. He hated when Draco called him _Potter_ with that disgusted tone of voice. Things between them had been hanging by a thread. Harry knew he was supposed to be patient around Draco but sometimes he just couldn't stand that icy look and that damn smirk. It reminded him too much of the old Draco Malfoy, the one he hated more than anything in his life. Besides that, there was still the kiss shared between him and Zabini, a scene that he just couldn't get over. 

They had made up, but there were still many unresolved issues bothering Harry. It was getting harder to control Draco's mood swings. In three days, they had argued enough for a lifetime. It looked as though everything in Harry annoyed Draco, from his messy hair to his choice of clothes and perfume. And then there were the faints. Draco was becoming weaker by the day, and Harry hated to see him like that. He just couldn't bear the thought of losing Draco. And he wouldn't. 

That was why he had to meet Pansy that day. He couldn't lose that opportunity. And the best of it all was that he would be disguised as Draco. Luck for him, a little before he had sent his letter to Pansy, he'd heard a very interesting conversation between Sirius and Snape about the Polyjuice potion and how a big lot of it would be ready in a few minutes. That was the moment that Harry had decided to steal a little of the potion and write a letter to Pansy as if he was Draco. That way Pansy wouldn't deny helping him. Or so he thought. 

He had successfully foiled Hermione that day so he could go to Hogsmeade alone. Everything was so perfect until Draco came along. 

"Were you following me?" Harry asked, upset.

"No!" Draco denied quickly, too quick for Harry's taste. 

"I don't believe you."

"Believe whatever you want, Potter. You are the one who has to explain to me why you are here. Dumbledore told us to stay in Hogwarts today. Hogwarts, Harry, not Hogsmeade!"

"I... wasn't going to Hogsmeade..." Harry said bashfully. 

"Oh, really? So you just felt like going for a stroll in a dark and muddy place?" Draco smirked.

"Yes, that was exactly it!" Harry crossed his arms and held his chin high. 

Draco snorted, "Please, don't insult my intelligence."

"Listen, Draco, I just need to go to the Shrieking Shack and spend some time alone," Harry lied poorly. 

Draco snorted. "You are unbelievable, Potter! That is such a shitty lie!"

"It's not! And I'm going."

Harry entered the passage and Draco followed him.

"Go back!" Harry ordered while he dusted himself off.

"No. If you're going to meet Pansy, then I wanna be there."

Harry's eyes opened up widely. "How do you... I mean... Who said I'm going to meet Pansy? I'm not!"

Draco smirked. "Yeah, sure. Then the letter I received from Pansy today delaying our _date_ is just an illusion."

Harry pretended an outrageous expression. "You have a date with Pansy?"

"Oh, spare me, Potter! I know it was you! At first I wondered if I was going nuts but then Hermione explained your stupid plan to me. Of course, the plan was that _you would meet her, not me! Then Ginny Weasley told us a very interesting story about how Harry Potter stole Polyjuice Potion from Snape's office and it was then that I understood." Draco looked hurt. "How could you do this? Hermione is sick worried about you."_

"Hermione agreed with the plan!"

"She thought she would go with you."

"I decided to go alone. I don't want to put any of my friends in danger," Harry said. 

"That's not the only reason why she's so worried. Today is the worst day to be in Hogsmeade. Voldemort will attack the village. Dumbledore didn't say it, but we all know what his speech meant. "

"I'm not afraid of Voldemort."

Draco frowned. "You're not. Of course. I mean, you are the hero. You think you're invincible and–" 

Harry rolled his eyes and cut him off, "Just shut up! You should see a therapist for this hero issue."

"I don't need a therapist!" Draco shouted. "But you do since you are not afraid of being killed!"

"Voldemort can't kill me," Harry said quietly.

"How the hell do you know that?" Draco asked, not believing him.

"I know because I dreamt about it. In my dream I heard Voldemort telling Pettigrew that he's bonded to me and if he kills me, he dies, too. We all know what my dreams with Voldemort means. So yes, I'm pretty sure that the dream was real. Of course, it doesn't mean he'll stop harassing me every chance he gets... and I do admit that my meeting with Pansy today is highly risky, but I have to try, Draco. I just have to. The truth is that I can't stand to see you suffering anymore," Harry confessed sincerely, making Draco's eyes flickered. "Pansy is the only one who can convince Goyle to undo what he has done to you! I don't care if Voldemort will be there, too. I just have to..." Harry's voice failed. "I just..."

"I know, Harry," Draco said in a soft tone of voice.

"Then don't try to stop me," Harry pleaded.

"Stop you?" Draco shook his head. "Of course I won't stop you. You're Harry Potter! You've been training to be an Auror at the age of sixteen and you can do wandless magic. I'm positive that you can handle Pansy with your eyes shut. That's not the problem. The problem number one is Voldemort and his minions. The problem number two is that I bet you don't have a plan. And I mean a good one. Pansy knows how to cast the killing curse," he explained. "What if she realises that you are not me? What if she attacks you? Just remember that I haven't talked to Pansy in a long time. She must be angry with me. Don't expect her to be pleased to see 'me'. She will question you; ask things you don't know about."

"Then what do you suggest?" Harry asked, already foreseeing what Draco would say next.

"That I go with you."

Harry smiled feebly. He had been right in his assumptions. 

"That's why you are here alone, isn't it?" Harry asked, suddenly very aware of that fact. "Because you wanted us to go there, just the two of us."

Draco nodded. "You can't go without me. I'll be in your Invisibility cloak, that way I can help you. Face it, you need my help. You know nothing about Pansy and me. You know nothing about our relationship. Pansy is not that stupid, you know?"

"I can take care of myself."

Draco sneered. "Pardon me, Harry, but you don't know how to be _me_."

"Wanna bet?" Harry provoked him. "I've been watching you long before we got together. I know two or three thing about you, _Malfoy_."

"It doesn't mean you can play me. You're a Potter," Draco taunted. "Potters are kind by nature. You are not at all malicious like a Malfoy should be."

"You're not like that either, even though you've been behaving like a prick these past few days."

"That's the thing. The person you've been living with day by day is the real me," Draco said desolately. "You know that. I was only _good_ because of you. Your company made me wanna be a better person. But the potion showed me that I can't escape from my destiny and–" Draco was shushed by Harry's hand in his lips. 

"Don't, Draco. We both know you have your flaws, we all have! But that doesn't make you a bad person."

"I didn't say anything about flaws! I don't have any flaws! I'm perfect the way I am!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. That was what I was talking about." 

Draco made an outrageous face and swore under his breath that he was a fucking Malfoy and Malfoys didn't have fucking imperfections, except Tieran Malfoy, the Primitive, who had a huge nose and some believed that it had the same size of his dick. Harry laughed.

"Alright, Potter," Draco said upset. "I suggest that we go and leave these stupid issues for later on. We have a meeting to attend to." Draco stuck up his nose in the air and walked away like he was a prince. Harry couldn't help but giggle. 

"You really are something, Draco Malfoy," Harry said with a grin. 

"Just shut up. We need to kick Pansy's ass."

"I don't think this is a good idea, Draco," Harry said seriously. "You're not well!"

Draco stopped to stare at him. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not!"

Draco sighed. "Just let me do this with you, Harry. I don't wanna feel like I'm useless."

"You're not useless, you're just…"

"Sick, I know. But I can help you out with this, I know I can. I am going. You can't stop me, Potter."

Harry still tried to make him listen to the voice of reason, but Draco was determined to go. And so they went. 

TBC…


	10. It's Life That Really Kills

Disclaimer: Not mine… 

**BIG** thanks to my beta readers: **FerretMalfoy**; **Ariel**; **Hyperbole** and **Jamie**.

**A/N:** Thanks to all the reviewers for being so wonderful and patient! 

  
Chap. 10 – **IT'S LIFE THAT REALLY KILLS**

They had been walking for a while now, trying to come up with a plan to make Pansy talk. So far, they'd only argued about Draco's stubbornness and Harry's lack of brain. Draco accused _Harry_ of having a hero complex while Harry pointed out that it was _Draco_ who had a real problem with that; hence why he was there, _sick and all. Harry even had the nerve to take advantage of Draco's phobia of spiders just so he could try to convince Draco to go back to the castle. Draco didn't go back though, and they didn't speak to each other till they got to the entrance of the Shack. _

"We're here," said Harry. Draco didn't reply. Obviously, he was still mad at Harry. "Listen, Draco, I'm really sorry, but I still think you should have stayed in the castle."

"And miss the best part? No way," Draco replied angrily. "I have the right to be here! This is about me, right? The poison is in my blood, not yours. If anyone should kick Pansy's arse, it should be me!"

"Yeah, yeah. We've already been through this. Let's not go there again, shall we? Since we're here, it's better for us to do this already. Let's go kick Pansy's big arse." Harry opened the door and they entered the dark old house. "I guess I should take the potion then."

Harry got the vial out of his robe and opened it. Draco watched him add a lock of his blonde hair in it, making the potion bubble slightly. Before Harry could spill the potion down his throat, Draco put his hands in his and said, "Wait, Harry! Just wait. How do you know this is the right potion? How do you know it's safe to drink it? It looks awful..." 

"I heard Snape talking to Sirius and I _know_ for sure this is Polyjuice Potion."

"How can you tell?" Draco asked, suspicious.

"I... I've had contact with it in our second year at school," Harry muttered, not looking at him.

"Really?" Draco crossed his arms. "How come? I don't remember Snape teaching us this potion."

"Blimey, Draco! I know this is Polyjuice Potion because I drank it a long time ago, all right?"

Draco's eyes opened widely. "Why?"

"Because..." Harry sighed. "In our second year, Ron, 'Mione and I thought _you_ were the heir of Slytherin, but the only way of proving it was if you told us. So Ron and I drank the potion and disguised ourselves as Goyle and Crabbe," Harry confessed and waited for Draco's explosion. Curiously enough, Draco didn't seem upset but rather... amused. 

"Did you think _I_ was the heir of Slytherin?" Draco asked beaming. "_Me_? The heir of the big man? The great Salazar Slytherin?" Draco grinned, his eyes staring into space dreamily. "Oh, how I wished it was true..."

Harry only shook his head, amused at Draco's dreamy expression. "You're such a mystery, Draco."

"I know," Draco said. "What would be the fun if I wasn't a mystery? Besides, it's better to be anything but ordinary."

Harry chuckled. "I thought you would be mad at me."

"I am. But then again, it was brilliant. I don't know why I never thought about this before. Using a Polyjuice Potion to find out the Gryffindors' secrets. How cool would that be? The only bad thing was that in order to find out more about _you_, I would have to be _Ron Weasley_. Ugh. I'll have nightmares about it, I'm sure of it... Weasley... How disgusting... But at least I could have taken the opportunity to see for myself if you like him as a friend or as something else," Draco muttered the last sentence to himself, but Harry heard it. 

"Hey! Ron and I are _friends_! He's very much in love with Hermione, and I'm very much in love with you."

Draco smiled. "Oh, that was sweet, Harry."

"Just shut up and let's get along with this." Harry put the vial in his mouth and drank it in one gulp. Instantly, he dropped the vial on the floor and screamed from pain as his body changed to another. He didn't remember feeling so awful the last time.

Draco watched Harry's transformation torn between fascination and fright. When he saw _himself standing in front of him, he stared at what used to be Harry with shock. It was very weird to stare at him, knowing that it wasn't actually _him_. He thought it was rather creepy but highly interesting. He realised with satisfaction that he was indeed a very handsome lad. _

"What?" Harry asked. Draco made a face. Harry still sounded like Harry.

_'How odd,' Draco thought. _'He looks like me but he sounds like Harry. It's very... disturbing.'__

"Stop staring at me like that, Draco! You're making me uncomfortable," Harry complained.

"Oh, sorry. It's just... It's so strange," Draco pointed out. "I could actually shag myself!"

Harry made a face. "That was just... creepy."

"Yeah. If we shagged while you were me, would that be incest?" Draco asked, amused. 

"Ugh. Bad image!" Harry shuddered and looked at himself through a mirror next to him.

"I thought it was hot!"

Harry smiled. "You're hopeless, Draco."

Draco shrugged and then he said excitedly. "What if I drank the potion, too, and became you?"

Harry glared at him. "Why would you do that? I can't be here, remember?"

"And neither can I! But it would be fun! And then we could shag. It wouldn't be so weird."

"Oh, it would be _very_ weird," Harry stated. "And please, tell me you're joking."

Draco smirked. "You're so repressed..."

"Yeah, sure. The only reason you want to drink the potion is to know what it's like to be me. Face it, Draco, you've always wanted to know what it would be like to be me," Harry sneered.

"Oh, please. I would hate to have your hair," Draco objected.

"You always say my messy hair is sexy!" Harry said.

"I would pretty much say anything to get you into my bed."

Harry arched his eyebrow. "I was the one that got you in my bed first."

"Technically, it wasn't your bed but Hagrid's," Draco pointed out, and they both shuddered at the thought. 

"Bad image," Harry said making a face.

"You're right. We should stop this," Draco urged, finding it very weird to discuss with himself.  

"Definitely."

They stayed silent for a moment and then burst out laughing. The situation, they had to admit, was highly odd but also very amusing. 

"Seriously, Draco, we should get going. Pansy must be near here already," Harry said, wiping his tears away.

"All right. But just for the record, you look amazing, Harry. I don't think you've ever looked so beautiful."

Harry showed Draco his middle finger and walked towards the front door with Draco laughing behind him. It was a cloudy day when they stepped outside the house. Harry took that as a bad sign but Draco thought it was rather suitable for their mission. 

"Put the Invisibility Cloak on," Harry told Draco.

Draco put the cloak on and said, "Just remember, Harry. Be charming. And sneer. Come on. Sneer for me."

Harry rolled his eyes and looked at the blank space where Draco was hidden under the cloak. Harry sneered the best way he could but Draco made a sound of disapproval. 

"Is this the best you can do? I don't look stupid when I sneer!" Draco said. 

Harry smiled. "Oh, yes, you do." Harry felt a pinch on his arm and he yelled. "Hey!"

"I'm not stupid," Draco said coldly. "Now, raise your chin. Yes, that's right. No, less. I'm not that conceited, am I? Stop smiling!"

But Harry just couldn't stop. Draco was too funny when he was ordering him around. While Draco protested under his breath, he and Harry made their way to the gate of the old house and out to the silent street. No one was around except for a very creepy raven watching them at the top of a tree. Draco wondered if the bird was an Animagus. Harry was concerned, too, but they kept going. One block ahead they found Pansy looking very bored. Harry cleared his throat, Draco rolled his eyes and Pansy looked up to face him. 

"Draco, darling!" she said with a grin. 

"Just remember what I said, Harry," muttered Draco.

Pansy got closer to Harry, who had to refrain himself from his desire to take a step back. 

"So, how are you feeling?" she asked viciously. 

"Like you don't know!" Harry accused and Draco pinched him. "I mean, honestly, _darling_, your _pet_ is the one responsible for my illness, right? I'm sure you know everything about it."

"You're not sounding like me!" Draco muttered between his teeth. 

"What happened to your voice, Draco?" Pansy asked suspiciously.

"Er… It's… It's the poison." Harry cleared his throat and tried to sound more like Draco. 

"Really?" Pansy made a face. "I wasn't aware of this side effect…"

"What do you know about the poison, Pansy?" Harry asked and Draco sighed. Harry was sounding too eager. 

"Straight to the point, huh?" Pansy said, looking thoughtful. "What a turn off. You used to be so interesting before Harry Potter came along… Well, you still have a choice, you know? I have the cure to your problem. I just don't know if you're worth it anymore." She got closer to him and her breath nauseated Harry. "Kiss me, honey, and then we'll talk business."

Harry did it, extremely disgusted with the whole thing. Draco swore Pansy in his mind with very nasty names. He felt his anger rising, so he clutched his hands in the Invisibility Cloak to prevent himself from slapping her. Harry, on the other hand, tried his best to kiss her and look delighted, but it was a very difficult task. He thought about Draco and things got a little better. When she finally pulled away, he felt like throwing up.

"Hmm… That's the Draco I know," she said, satisfied.

Harry smirked in a very believable way. "So, shall we talk business now?"

She smiled mischievously. "There's only one deal, Draco. You should know that by now. If you join the Dark Lord, then I'll give you the cure to your little… problem."

"Goyle said you don't have the cure. He said he burned the book because he wants me dead," Harry said.

Pansy sneered. "Goyle is so cute, isn't he? He does everything I order. You're right about calling him my pet. He _is_ my pet, and a very loyal one. He lied to you because I told him to. There's a cure, Draco, and if you join me, I'll give it to you."

"Why would you tell him to lie?" Harry asked.

"So you could be desperate and your only way out was to talk to _me_, which you did. You're here, aren't you? That means my plan worked."

"If I don't join you, you will let me die?"

Pansy looked at her nails. "I wouldn't want that to happen, but it's not up to me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked quickly. 

She looked around and then said, "Listen, Draco, I shouldn't even be here. I'm only here because I do care for you. I love you. But there are certain things I can't fight against. I'm sorry, really," But she didn't sound sorry at all.

"He was the one who planned this, wasn't he?" Harry said in a hurry. "It was Voldemort who told you to send the elf to Dra... I mean, to my house. _He_ was the one who planned all of this! He _knows_ what I feel for... Fuck." Harry almost stopped breathing. 

From under the cloak, Draco held his breath.

"I shouldn't say this, but..." she shrugged. "The Dark Lord has a link with Harry Potter, Draco. A very strong link. It seems like Grandfather is able to tell what Harry is feeling sometimes. He's brewing a potion so he'll be able to read his mind, maybe even control him. You see, you're on the losing side. I'm sure you would hate that. You deserve so much more, Draco... So much... And together we could be great!"

Harry should have known that the link worked both ways. He didn't know why that hadn't occurred to him. If he could feel Voldemort's mood, surely Voldemort was able to feel his. After hearing Pansy say that, he felt really stupid for not having thought about that before.

"He was the one who told you to poison me," Harry said. "Because he wants to use me to get Potter." 

It was strange for Harry to talk about himself in the third person. 

"You could say that. He doesn't really know how _you_ feel for Potter, but he does know that what Potter feels for you is quite strong. Such a feeling had to be put to a good use, don't you think? I overheard a conversation between grandfather and Lestrange about you. You're part of a prophecy but the thing is, while Harry Potter is described as the only one who will be able to destroy the Dark Lord, your part in the game is not very clear. They think you have a dark soul, which means you've got potential to be something great. Your problem is temporary... The, er, poison... I can't make it go away sooner, Draco. Just come with me."

"You're such a bitch!" Draco hissed and Pansy frowned. 

"What did you say?" Pansy asked slowly, and Harry could catch the threat in her tone of voice.

Harry wanted badly to repeat Draco's words but he couldn't. Pansy was the only one that could help them. Another thing had occurred to Harry though. Something that Pansy had said, or yet hadn't said. If only he knew how to read between the lines. Something wasn't right in her story. Draco wasn't just a pawn to beat him. Or was he? 

"I said nothing," Harry said wearily. "I need to think about this."

"There's nothing to think about. I won't accept her offer," Draco muttered to him. 

"Don't take too long though. You don't have much time," Pansy warned him coldly. 

There was a pause and then someone appeared from behind the trees. 

"Oh, fuck," Draco swore as he saw who the person was.

Pansy made a face as she watched Goyle coming next to them. "I thought I've told you that I didn't need your services today," she said, annoyed.

Goyle snarled. "Did you think I would leave you alone with him?"

"I don't need your help. I can take care of myself," Pansy pointed out, irritated.

"Well, the Dark Lord doesn't think that way because he told me to keep an eye on you. We shouldn't be here, Pansy. Not today," Goyle grunted and then he looked at who he thought it was Draco with disgust. "I should have killed you in the old-fashion way. I don't know why they don't let me do it... What's with you that is so damn important?"

"Stop it, Goyle!" Pansy shouted. "Draco is my toy! Don't you dare play with him."

"Play?" Goyle smiled in a horrible way. "Playing with him wasn't what I had in mind..." Goyle took his wand out of his pocket and pointed at Harry, who pointed his wand at Goyle instantly. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Pansy asked, outraged. "Put that down!"

"No. It's time to end this once and for all," Goyle said and then shouted, "_Crucio!" _

At the same time, Draco shouted the defence charm, preventing the curse to hit Harry by a second. Harry shouted a boil hex and it hit Goyle, whose face got covered with nasty boils. The big fellow let out a yelp and raised his wand once more, pointing it blindly at somewhere in front of him. Draco stopped pretending he wasn't there and took off the Invisibility Cloak, making Pansy gasp and scream in rage.

"What's this? What's going on?" she screamed. "Who are you?" she asked Harry. 

Harry smiled bitterly. "I'm Draco."

She stared at him with loathing. "You're so going to pay for this Draco! Just wait!" she shouted at them both. "If there's something I hate, it's to be deceived!"

What followed next was a series of flying sparks coming from their wands. Draco felt the poison weakening him but he kept his wand raised. Pansy, as he had foreseen before, used some pretty dirty tricks, but he and Harry had their own tricks as well. The battle was pretty much tied since Goyle had joined it, and even though he wasn't seeing anything, he kept sending hexes everywhere in hope of hitting Draco. 

One of the curses hit Harry in the arm, cutting it slightly. Draco screamed Harry's name and Pansy looked at them bewildered. Draco got closer to Harry ready to strike whoever got near them. He looked at Harry's arm and sighed in relief. It wasn't a deep cut.

"I'm fine," Harry muttered, his wand pointed at Pansy. 

"It's Potter then," she muttered to herself. "I should have known." 

Suddenly, Goyle and Pansy let out a yelp. They looked at their wrists and panic fell over their faces. 

"Let's go!" said Goyle urgently. "He can't know we're here!"

"Why not? Harry Potter is here! We could destroy him!" Pansy exclaimed.

"Are you mental!?" Goyle shouted, trying to put some sense into her head. "We can't kill him! If we do, _he's_ going to die, too!"

Pansy smiled viciously. "So?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Pansy! Let's just go!"

"Oh, boy. You're no fun," she complained. "Well, I'll see you soon, Draco, darling. It's just a matter of time."

They Disapparated with a loud _crack. _

"Are you okay, Harry?" Draco asked, worried.

"Yeah, I think so. It was just a scratch." He looked at Draco seriously. "We should get going. Voldemort is coming."

"I know. Let's go then."

"Draco?"

"We can talk later, Harry."

"Right."

They ran in the direction of the Shack and Harry noticed that Draco looked exhausted from the duel. A voice inside his head called him stupid for letting Draco come along in the first place. Draco was ill. The excitement must have made him worse. He was about to say something when his brain exploded in pain and he fell on the floor. 

"Harry!" Draco knelt beside him. "It's your scar, isn't it?"

Harry didn't answer. The pain in his head was too much for him to bear it. He panted and a hissed voice made its way into his mind. Harry panicked. Voldemort was inside his head, just like Pansy said. 

"He's here," Harry was able to mumble.

"I know, Harry. We should get going! Can you walk?"

"No, you don't understand. He's here, inside my head."

Draco gasped. "Holy shit!"                                                       

It was the worst feeling in Harry's life when Voldemort started to laugh and his hideous snigger sounded like a thunder in his head.

_"Hello, Potter," Voldemort hissed._

"Get out! Get out!" Harry repeated like a mantra. 

_"Oh, what for?__ This is so funny!"_

"Harry? Harry?" Draco called from a distance. Harry wasn't hearing him anymore. His eyes had become red and all that got out of his mouth were hisses. Draco realised, shocked, that he was probably speaking the same language he spoke in their second year: Parseltongue. 

"GET OUT!" Harry screamed, this time to warn Draco to run, but as what came out of his mouth were hisses, Draco had no idea what he was talking about. 

"So, Potter, it's such a coincidence we decided to come to Hogsmeade on the same day! I think it's fate, don't you think?" Harry didn't say anything and Voldemort kept talking, "Such a lovely day to kill and destroy this stupid village. And your presence here made things even better."

Harry smirked. "Why don't you come and kill me, you bastard?"

_"Oh, Harry, may I call you Harry?" Harry told him to fuck off and Voldemort laughed. __"You already know I can't kill you because then I'd be killing myself. This is not in my plans, so I think I'll pass your offer. I know you must be wondering why your presence here is so perfect. Well, Harry, my dear boy, I have a proposal for you."_

"I don't want to hear it!" Harry hissed. "Whatever you have to say to me, I won't do it. I'll never join you."

"Perhaps you'll change your mind when you hear me out. I have a very interesting tale to tell you about your mother, God bless her soul," Voldemort sounded very solemn and Harry wished he could spit on him. 

"You know nothing about my mother!"

"Of course I did. I knew your mother very well. She worked with me for a while."

"Impossible!" Harry shouted in outrage. "She would never do that!"

"But you're wrong, dear Harry. Didn't Dumbledore, the old fool, tell you? Lily was a Death Eater."

Harry felt very cold all of a sudden, like there was a Dementor around. He shook his head violently as if that was enough to make Voldemort's words go away. His mother wasn't a Death Eater. She couldn't have been. She was a good woman, everybody told him so. She would never be one of Voldemort's pawns. 

"NO! YOU'RE LYING! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! MY MOTHER WASN'T A DEATH EATER!" 

Voldemort sneered. _"I see no one bothered to tell you the truth, Harry. How... convenient. I'm glad I'm here then. I won't lie to you, Harry. I'm here for you. While the others won't bother to tell you about your parents' pasts, I don't mind at all. I'm all for the truth. Dumbledore probably sees you as a little boy who can't handle things, but I don't see you that way, Harry. No. I, more than anyone in this world, know what's like for you. I know your pain."_

"SHUT UP! You know nothing about me! You killed my parents!"

_"Not really. Your father is alive, isn't he?"_

"What about my mother, you son of a bitch? She's dead because of you! She didn't like you. She was never a Death Eater!"

"She was, Harry. Do you know why? Because she was my daughter."

Harry's world crumbled down. "What?"

"She was my daughter."

"No. Her parents were both muggles. How could... why... No. It's impossible! You're just trying to mess with my head!"

_"I'm sure you know how babies are made by now," Voldemort said, bored._

"Her parents were _muggles_!" Harry shouted to convince himself. 

_"She had my eyes. **You** have my eyes."_

"No, no, no. I'm not... I'm not related to you! I'm not!" Harry looked devastated. Voldemort had to be lying. His mother wasn't Voldemort's daughter. She couldn't have been. 

_"But we are so look alike, Harry. We both speak Parseltongue," Voldemort pointed out sweetly._

"That's because of my scar!"

_"Or is it?" Voldemort asked quietly._

Harry grimaced. "You're only messing with my head. We're not relatives. You're not my…"

_"Grandfather."_

"You're not!" Harry shouted again.

It was too much for him to take it. He felt so many things at once he thought his head would explode. Most of all, he felt betrayed. No one had said anything to him about that. Why would Dumbledore hide something like that from him? Voldemort was lying to him. There was no way Harry was his grandson. No way at all. He felt like crying for a moment, but instead he burst out laughing. 

Draco, who had been very frightened ever since Harry started hissing, jumped from the shock of seeing Harry laughing like a maniac. Draco didn't know whether he should find someone to help them. Nothing he did until then had any effect whatsoever on Harry. 

_"What's so funny?" Voldemort hissed._

"I'm laughing at you," Harry said laughing. "This is such a cliché! Have you been watching Star Wars?"

"If you are referring to that 70s' muggle movie..."

"Exactly! You did watch it!" Harry exclaimed, bewildered. "You stole the idea from the movie!"

_"What idea?"_

"About you being my grandfather."

_"I didn't take the idea from a movie!" Voldemort protested. __"It's the truth!"_

"It can't be," Harry stated. "It just can't."

_"Even if it isn't, Potter, ask Daddy about Mummy's real life as a Death Eater. Lily **was a Death Eater."**_

"STOP TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT!" Harry shouted very seriously this time.

Voldemort grinned at his explosion. _"I'll let you go this time so you can think about our little chat. I just want you to remember that you're more linked to me than you think. You can join me or die. It's your call. I have to go now. There's a... meeting I should attend to."_

"Wait! If my mother was a Death Eater, then why did you kill her?"

Voldemort snarled. _"She betrayed me. She knew too much."_

"So even if she was a Death Eater, she chose the good side in the end!"

"How many times do I have to repeat myself, Potter? There's no good and evil. There's only power."

And with that, Voldemort vanished from his mind, leaving him rather empty all of a sudden. He blinked a few times, stroking his scar absently while Draco called him worriedly. 

"Harry? Harry, are you okay?" Draco asked. Harry looked at him and he sighed. "Oh, great. Your eyes aren't red anymore."

"What?"

"Are you okay, Harry?" Draco asked again, helping Harry to get up. 

"I... I guess... I have a terrible headache..." Harry felt like he would pass out at any moment. 

"I'm going to get us out of here," Draco said hurriedly. 

"Draco..." Harry clutched his arms around Draco's neck and held him tightly. 

"It was Voldemort, wasn't it?" Draco asked. "He was inside your head." Harry nodded. "Oh, God, Harry. Did he say something to you? Did you talk to him?? You were hissing. It was really scary. I didn't know what to do."

"I just want to go home," Harry said tiredly. 

"We're going home, Harry, I promise."

With Harry leaning on his shoulder, Draco made their way back to the Shack, stopping every now and then to catch their breath. They both looked tired, like their energy had been drained out of their bodies. Draco wished for a moment that he had convinced Harry to stay in Hogwarts instead of going on that crazy mission. He should have known Voldemort would mess with Harry somehow. Even if Voldemort couldn't kill Harry, there were so many ways of making Harry's life miserable. Lucius had said to him once that there were things worse than the killing curse.

_"It's life that really kills, Draco," Lucius had said to him one cold night in December. _"Life and its stupid meaning..."  __

They had almost reached the door when suddenly someone caught Draco's arm from behind and pulled him away from Harry, who was now changing back to normal. Draco kicked and socked the person holding him blindly.

"Draco, STOP!" shouted a very familiar voice. 

"Father?" Draco asked, stopping immediately. 

Lucius grimaced. "Yes, that would me."

Draco looked at him and then at Harry being sustained by James. Draco paled as he saw a scared James taking Harry in his arms as if Harry was a cloth doll. He noticed, terrified, that Harry had finally passed out. His heart jumped fast inside his chest. 

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Lucius began angrily. "Considering, of course, that you are my son."

Draco didn't take his eyes off Harry when he answered, "It's me. We need to get him out of here. Voldemort is coming. I think he's already here."

"Prove to me that you're him," Lucius demanded.

"Lucius, there's no time! Harry needs assistance right away!" James shouted. 

"How can we know for sure they are our sons?" Lucius insisted. "They might be Death Eaters in disguise!"

"Harry's just changed back! You saw it!" James tried to put some sense into Lucius' head. 

"I just need proof!"

"You want proof?" Draco said, enraged. "How about that bloody illegal Ferrari you keep in your garage!? Or that collection of muggle car miniatures you have in your hidden room!"

James opened his eyes widely and Lucius blushed furiously. "How do you know about _that_?"

Draco grimaced. "Because I'm your fucking son! Do you want me to go on?"

"No, I think that will be enough," Lucius said clenching his teeth. "We better go to my cottage. It's closer."

James shook his head. "I don't know. We took half an hour to get here!"

"Harry's just a little tired, Potter. He'll be fine. We'll have plenty of time to get to the cottage."

"Maybe Hogwarts is safer," James said.

Before Lucius could reply, they heard a terrible shriek coming from the middle of the village and then the Dark Mark sparkled in the sky like an omen of things that were to come. Lucius paled, knowing that if one of his old fellows found him there, they would kill him. 

"Potter, we don't have time to lose. We'll have to go to the cottage."

"But Malfoy... We won't get there in time! They'll get us first!"

"Could you two please decide what to do?" Draco asked anxiously. 

"We can go back to Damiana's. It's near here," Lucius said. 

"And do what?" James asked in disbelief. "Wait for them to kill us? Or perhaps you're thinking about offering us to Voldemort!" he accused.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Don't be dense, Potter. Even if I did _offer_ you and your son to the Dark Lord, he wouldn't spare me. Damiana has a fireplace. I think I can connect it to my cottage and then I can disconnect it when we arrive there."

"Is it safe?" James asked.

"It's the only thing I can think of," Lucius said. "Harry and Draco can't apparate and it would be too risky to take them to Hogwarts."

Draco realised that Lucius didn't know about the secret passage in the Shrieking Shack. The same thing must have gone through James' mind because he said nothing about it. Draco wondered if they should tell Lucius or not. 

"OK, then. Let's hurry!" James said, making the decision for him. 

Perhaps James didn't think Lucius was trustworthy yet. Draco couldn't help to feel bothered by that. After all, Lucius was trying to save them, wasn't he?

They hurried to Damiana's little shop but found a hooded figure blocking their way in. Lucius and Draco took their wands out and pointed at the stranger. The stranger took off his hood and smirked at Lucius.

"So you're a turncoat now," the man said. "What a disappointment, Lucius. Some of us really believed in you. But here's the proof that you deserve to die."

"Macnair," Lucius smirked back. "How lovely to see you. Would you kindly get out of my way? I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Macnair laughed. "You're so funny, Lucius! You'll forgive me if I don't obey you, right?"

"Not at all. _Crucio!" Lucius shouted but Macnair deflected it._

Macnair and Lucius battled for a while. Draco and James watched the scene from a distance, their hearts in their mouths. Lucius seemed to be doing fine, but a spell hit him in the arm just as it had hit Harry, and Draco didn't know who screamed first, James or him.

"Draco, stun Macnair!" James ordered quickly. 

"_STUPEFY_!" Draco shouted when Macnair wasn't looking.

The man fell down and Draco hurried to help his father. 

"I'm fine," Lucius said, touching his arm slightly where Macnair had hit him and opening his eyes widely. "I'm _bleeding_!"

"Forget about it, Malfoy! You look fine. Let's go!" James said, entering Damiana's shop. 

Draco and Lucius followed him and Lucius put a locking spell on the door. He knew it wouldn't last long if a Death Eater tried to open it, but it should be enough for them to get out. Curiously, Damiana was nowhere to be found.

"She's probably escaped, the bloody coward," Lucius said bitterly. 

"Where's the fireplace?" James asked.

"In the other room."

They entered the room and stopped in front of the fireplace. Lucius said the connecting spell and the fireplace lit up. He took the floo powder that was inside a small pot on a table next to the fireplace and gave it to Draco so he could go first. 

"Warn Gelmina that we have a wounded. And tell Dobby to be ready to close the fireplace," Lucius said.

Draco nodded. He threw the powder in the fireplace and screamed, "Sanskrit Cottage!" And he vanished in it.

James was next. He gripped Harry in his arms and vanished through the green flames, too. Lucius was the last one to go, but not before taking a few items that were lying on Damiana's table. After all, he thought, she wouldn't need them. When he arrived at the cottage, Draco was there with Dobby. The house-elf helped Lucius to close the fireplace and add a few spells in it in case someone tried to pass through it.

Exhausted, Lucius fell on the couch and stared at Draco.

"Where's Potter?" Lucius asked panting. 

"He's with Harry in his room. Gelmina is there. I think... we should get Pomfrey to help."

"No. It's too risky to do anything right now. Potter will be fine."

"How do you know?" Draco asked angrily. "Pomfrey can cure him! You don't even know what's happened!

"He's breathing, isn't he?"

Draco felt like going for Lucius' throat. "He needs assistance."

"If I turn the fireplace on again, Draco, we'll all be dead."

 "What about Harry?" Draco snarled. 

"He'll be fine!" Lucius growled impatiently. "You, on the other hand, I wouldn't be so sure! What in Merlin's name were you doing in Hogsmeade today with Potter disguised as you!?"

"I don't have time for this right now," Draco said, crossing his arms. "Harry needs me."

Draco made his way out of the room, but with a flick of his wand Lucius made him stop and come back. They stared at each other defiantly but Draco didn't give up. He had to see Harry and perhaps assist James in taking care of him.

"Talk," Lucius ordered. "Talk or I'll put you under _Imperius_," Lucius ordered.

Draco sighed. "We went there to talk to Pansy and make her spill about a cure to my poisoning. Harry didn't tell me about it but I found out and went after him. He tried to make me go back to Hogwarts but I didn't want to, obviously. Things were going all right – well, sort of – when Goyle came into the picture and tried to attack Harry. I defended Harry and Pansy realised Harry and I were only deceiving her. It was when Voldemort gave his minions a call," Draco explained and Lucius nodded absently stroking his Dark Mark. "Pansy and Goyle ran away. Harry and I were about to do the same when Voldemort somehow entered Harry's mind."

Lucius' eyes flew open. "What?"

"Voldemort got into Harry's mind. I don't know how." Draco sat down on the couch, too tired to carry on. "I don't know what they talked about. Harry hissed the whole time. He seemed pretty angry though. I felt... I... I wished I could have done something, but I..."

"You were scared," Lucius pointed out and Draco looked the other way, too ashamed to look his father in the eyes. He knew how Lucius felt about weaknesses. 

"I wasn't scared, I just..." Draco silenced. He had been scared. He still was. What was the point in denying it? He bet his fears of losing Harry was written all over his face. 

"It's all right," Lucius said quietly.

Draco looked at him, stunned. "Really?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Not _really_. But considering your state and all, it's all right."

"My _state_?" Draco snorted. "Oh, please."

"I'm actually stunned that you've not fainted like Potter Junior," Lucius said, lost in thoughts. "Oh, crap. Now I'm surrounded by three sissies."

"Make it four. You're here after all," James said coldly behind Lucius.

Lucius smirked but didn't look at James. "I'm not the one who faints all the time."

"Just shut your mouth, Malfoy!" James snarled, kicking Lucius's foot and stopping in front of him. "Someone needs to go to Hogwarts and get Madam Pomfrey to help Harry. He's breathing smoothly but somehow I have this feeling that Madam Pomfrey should have a look at him. It looks like he's in a deep coma."

"You're not a medi-wizard," Lucius said. "How do you know he's in a coma?"

"I don't, but he doesn't look good and I'm very worried." 

Indeed, Draco noticed that James seemed very pale and anxious. Draco was feeling the same way.

"I'll go," Draco promptly offered.

"No, Draco," James said, looking at Draco with a feeble smile. "Your father is the only one who can go."

"_Me_?" Lucius said, indignant. "Why me? I won't risk my neck because of..." he stopped talking the moment he saw James' wand pointed at his throat. He looked at Draco, his eyes asking for help, but Draco didn't seem very friendly to him. Lucius sighed. "You two are really stupid, you know that? I won't go because those men out there know me! But I can send Dobby. Dobby knows ways to get into Hogwarts better than any of us!"

"That's true," pondered James. "Dobby!" he called. When the house-elf appeared, he said, "Go to Hogwarts and see if you can reach Madam Pomfrey. Tell her about Harry. I don't know if she'll be able to come, but tell her I'm really desperate." And then James turned to Draco. "What happened to make him faint? It was just his scar?"

"N-no," Draco stuttered, telling James what he had told his father.

James felt like he was going to panic, but he held himself in check. He was terrified about what Voldemort had said to Harry in order to upset him that much. Now, more than ever, he needed Madam Pomfrey to have a look at his son. 

"Dobby, warn Dumbledore and the others immediately about what's going on in Hogsmeade. Although. I think they already know," James said.

"They do," said Draco quietly, explaining to them what Dumbledore had said to the students.

"You knew what would happen and yet you went there anyway?" Lucius asked, enraged. "That was so smart, Draco! I taught you better than this." 

While Lucius and Draco argued and Dobby set off to fulfil his mission, James wondered if he should interfere in the father-son talking. In the end, he decided not to. Instead, he thought about how Madam Pomfrey would get to the cottage with the hell that was probably going on in Hogsmeade. Tired, he went back to where Harry was lying and sat in a chair near by to watch him, his heart in his mouth. 

Draco entered the room slowly as if silently asking his permission to stay, which he gave to him by saying nothing at all. 

"I'm sorry," Draco muttered, his expression full of worry. "I should have done something."

James smiled weakly. "You were very brave, Draco. I think you and Harry were careless, but I was the same way when I was your age so I can't tell you much… The way you stunned Macnair made me remember my old days as an Auror. You're very good."

"You were an Auror?" Draco asked, curious.

"Yes. Lily was, too." 

"Oh." 

They silenced. Draco looked at James without knowing what else to say. He really didn't want to talk. He just wanted Harry to wake up and tell him he was fine. After the turbulence, Draco was finally allowing himself to lower his defences and really worry about Harry. In the moment that he realised how close Harry had been to dying his body started trembling. What was he thinking? Why hadn't he stopped Harry instead of encouraging him? 

Having James near him made him feel strangely safe though. He just wished Lucius made him feel that way. 

"Draco, are you okay?" James asked gently.

Draco nodded, but it was obvious by his body language that he was far from being all right.

"You should rest," James suggested. "I know you're ill. You must be very tired and–"

"No," Draco protested instantly. "I want to stay with Harry."

James sighed and with the corner of his eyes, he saw Lucius standing at the door. He turned to face Draco and said, "OK. The bed is all yours. Jump in. I'm sure Harry won't mind if you sleep next to him."

Draco looked at him surprised, and James wondered for a minute if he was doing the right thing. 

"Y-you w-won't mind?" Draco asked, his heart thumping fast. 

"No, I won't." 

They stared at each other for a long time until Draco smiled feebly and lay down next to Harry, sleeping almost immediately. James looked at the door, but Lucius wasn't there anymore. With a deep sigh, he left the two boys sleeping peacefully in his bed and went to find Lucius. 

He found Lucius comfortably sitting on the couch, reading the book he had bought at Damiana's. James took the time to admire his beautiful features. He couldn't help it. Lucius was too handsome for his own good. 

"Lucius?"

Lucius looked at James and frowned. "Stop calling me that."

"It's your name, isn't it?" James said shrugging, slightly irritated on the inside. 

"I'm nothing to you so just drop it, okay?" Lucius said coldly, returning his attention to the book. 

James sighed. "Why are you so difficult? Why can't you just be nice for a change?"

Lucius sniggered, "Because nice is not part of my vocabulary."

James sat down next to him, desperately wanting to feel Lucius' arms around him, but he knew it would never happen. He almost smiled. Just a few hours ago he didn't even want to see Lucius and now that he had finally admitted to himself what he felt for the prick, he wanted _Lucius_ to look at him. James was worried sick about Harry and he just wished to have someone to hold him and assure him that everything would be all right. But Lucius wasn't the type. James had a weird relationship with Harry, but Lucius and Draco gave the word weird a whole new definition. 

James had seen how scared Draco was and yet Lucius hadn't said or done anything to sooth the boy's heart. 

"So, you finally accepted the idea that Potter Junior and Draco are a couple," Lucius said casually, his eyes still focused on the book. "It was a very touching scene, Potter. I almost cried. Letting him sleep with Potter Junior like that… So bloody–"

"Shut up," James said moodily. He had faced too many things that day. He would not fight with Lucius on top of everything else. 

But it seemed as if Lucius was very keen to pick a fight with him. 

"I'm sure that pretty soon Draco will be calling you _dad_. Wouldn't that be the sweetest thing?" Lucius said, sneering.

"What's the matter, Malfoy?" James asked, avoiding all of the voices that were telling him to be quiet and not play Lucius' game. "Are you jealous because you're such a lousy father?"

Lucius flinched, but didn't take his eyes off the book. "Don't be stupid. You're not a good father, either."

"I'm better than you, this I can assure. I'd have been the best if I was given the chance to be Harry's father from the beginning. Do you need to be so cold with Draco? All the boy wanted was a hug, perhaps just some kind words of hope. Don't you think he cares? Every time you treat him with such indifference you hurt him."

Lucius moved uncomfortably. "He's more than used to it now. I don't think he minds."

"You're wrong," James affirmed. "And it's horrible that he has to be used to this kind of treatment."

Lucius put the book down with a loud noise and stared at James with loathing. "My relationship with Draco is none of your concern!" 

"Your son is dying, for Merlin's sake!" James said, trying not to shout. "Show a little emotion! You're not that cold! Your son needs you! He needs you now more than ever."

Lucius stood up, highly upset. "You know nothing about me, so just stay out of my life," he snarled. 

Lucius turned to leave but James stopped him by saying, "Running away, Malfoy? You're such a bloody coward."

Lucius came back fuming. He opened his mouth several times but nothing came out of it. Lucius was very angry; James could tell since he was a master in making Lucius's emotions altered. Somehow, James was tired of that old game. His memories of he and Lucius were coming back slowly and they weren't pleasant, but he knew now that he loved Lucius and he wanted to make it right for him. 

Lucius had faced a tough life. His father was a monster worse than Voldemort. James feared to think what the man had done to Lucius in his childhood. How could someone ask Lucius to be a good father if he had known only pain from _his own_ father?

"Draco is _my_ responsibility," Lucius finally said. "I'd appreciate if you just leave us the hell alone. I'm going to take him out of Potter Junior's bed because I don't want my son involved with yours in any way. It's a terrible mistake to encourage them to be together and you know it! What were you thinking by letting Draco sleep there?"

James rolled his eyes. "I'm being realistic. They like each other. Besides, they are _sleeping_. And if you didn't like my decision, why didn't you say something before? You were there, hidden in the shadows so no one would know that deep down you were touched by that scene!"

Oh, yes. James was right. But Lucius would never tell him that his heart had twisted in a funny way when he had seen Draco and Harry in bed together sleeping peacefully. He'd never admit that the funny twist in his heart made him feel alive as he hadn't felt in a long time, and that he was scared about the whole thing. Fighting Death Eaters was easy next to spending the night with James, Draco and Harry under the same roof. That was the reason why he gave his back to James and stared at the fireplace like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He didn't want James to see the truth written in his eyes. 

"You know their relationship is a mistake. Draco is only ill because of his connection with your son," Lucius pointed out bitterly. "We both know that Goyle has nothing to do with it. _Voldemort_ is responsible for it. He's punishing me and hurting your son in the process. It's your son's fault!"

"Oh, right. Because being connected with Voldemort would have been so much better!" James sniggered. 

"I'm not saying that, I'm just–"

 "You're so full of shit, Malfoy!" James cut him off, walking to where Lucius was standing and making him face him. "Would you rather lick Voldemort's boots for the rest of your life? Is that your highest ambition in life? You're not your father! Draco is not you and Harry is not me, either. They won't screw up like we did. I had a glimpse of their relationship and believe me, we were never like that. We were too cowardly in the past, Lucius. Our sons are much better than us. Look what happened today! Harry was out there in spite of the danger just to find a cure for Draco's poisoning. Draco was there with him. He protected Harry from being hit by a curse today. So I don't care what you think, but I'm okay with them together. You won't take Draco out of that room."

For a moment, James thought he had seen something flicker in Lucius' eyes. 

"You sleep on the couch then, because I won't share my bed with you," Lucius said seriously. 

"Oh, so that's what this is all about," James smirked. "You don't want _me_ to sleep with you."

Lucius crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Of course it's not that!"

"Chicken," James taunted. 

Lucius looked at him outraged. "So you don't mind at all sharing a bed with me."

James did, but he wouldn't admit it. "Of course I don't. We're both adults, right?"

"Right," Lucius smirked. "And you don't care at all."

"It's not like I'm going to sleep anyway. I'm too worried about Harry. Besides, it's only six o'clock. You know I don't sleep before midnight."

A loud thunder echoed in the living room of the cottage but James and Lucius kept their eyes locked in each other's. 

"I should send my falcon to Hogwarts," Lucius said suddenly. "We need to know what's going on. Perhaps it's not safe to be here anymore."

"Don't you have a Secret Keeper?"

"Yes, I do."

"Who is it?"

Lucius shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Sure it does!"

"It's Narcissa. Dumbledore offered to be the Secret Keeper when I brought you here but there was no need."

"Narcissa?" James looked thunderstruck. "I thought you didn't trust her."

"This place belongs to Draco. Now do you understand?"

"Oh." James now looked very astonished. "I thought this was yours."

"I bought this for Draco when he was born. It's an investment."

James frowned. "Come on, Lucius. It's more than just an investment. You seem very comfortable here. Does Draco know this is his?"

Lucius flushed slightly. "Of course."

The corner of James' mouth lifted a little bit but he said nothing. 

"Listen... I've been reading about how to get your soul back," Lucius said. "I have the ingredients to the potion, and I can perform the spell. It'll be difficult but I think we'll make it. Severus will help me, I'm sure of it."

James made a face. "Severus?"

 "Yes. Can you think of anyone better?"

James shrugged. "I just don't like him, that's all."

"Grow up, Potter."

James held the urge to stick out his tongue at Lucius. 

Gelmina appeared in the living room for just a second to tell them that Harry and Draco were all right and then left for the kitchen. A few seconds later, Dobby appeared with a tousled Madam Pomfrey by his side.

"Oh, for Merlin's beard!" she exclaimed. "I'm only here because of Harry. I have to run though. Where is he? I need to go back to Hogwarts as soon as possible! Things in the school are chaotic. Hogsmeade was attacked and there are so many wounded! Thank God the Order was ready, but still... Where is he?" she repeated.

James walked her to the room and found Draco fully awake. Madam Pomfrey didn't waste any time. With her wand raised, she passed it on top of Harry's body and kept making funny faces. James and Draco watched her with anxiety. 

"Is he all right?" James asked. "Should we take him to St. Mungo?"

"No," answered her absently. "He just needs to rest. St. Mungo's will be very full... There's no need for him to go there. Harry's state is very familiar to me. I've been treating him for six years after all. I brought a tonic made by Severus. Make sure he takes it a sip every four hours." Madam Pomfrey left an orange bottle on the bedside table and then turned to Draco. "Now, you, young mister. You don't look so good. What in Merlin's name were you thinking? Going to Hogsmeade in a day like this! Sirius was enraged last time I saw him."

"Is Sirius all right? Did anyone get seriously hurt?" James asked in a hurry.

"Some members of the Order are not well," Madam Pomfrey said with a deep sigh. "That's why I have to go back soon. I don't know where Sirius is. No one has seen him since the attacked started. Remus was with him and he's missing, too."

"Where are they?" James was terrified. 

"Dumbledore said they would be fine," she answered as she examined Draco.

"How does he know?" Draco asked.

"I have no idea. Dumbledore is very mysterious, isn't he?" She finished the examination and gave Draco a red bottle. "You know what to do with this." She turned to talk to James again. "Dumbledore asked you not to leave this place under any circumstances. He'll be here when he can. He's very concerned about Harry. Having You-Know-Who inside his thoughts is not very good, is it? If something happens to Harry, ask Dobby to call me again. Don't worry though. He will be all right tomorrow. Just make sure to give him the tonic."

After Madam Pomfrey was gone, James saw Draco shaking slightly.

"Draco?" he said, worried. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Draco lied.

James got near him and put a hand on Draco's shoulder. "What is it?"

"He's scared," Lucius said from the doorway. "He's thinking that if Black is missing, maybe Narcissa is, too. She's not, Draco."

Draco looked at his father distrustful. "How do you know?"

"Because she's in Paris with her sister. She went there to look for a book I told her about."

"You talked to her?" Draco asked, stunned.

"Yes, Draco," Lucius seemed upset. "You look awful. Just lie down and go to sleep," he ordered, getting out of the room.

Draco sighed and James gripped his shoulder. 

"He's right, Draco. You need to rest."

"I can't."

"Do you want a Sleeping potion? I have some here."

"Draco..." they heard Harry whisper. 

Draco and James instantly stood by Harry's side. 

"I'm here, Harry," Draco whispered, but Harry wasn't awake. He was just talking in his sleep. "I'm here," he repeated, stroking Harry's hair. And suddenly Draco knew what to do. He would take the Sleeping potion and try to activate the dream connection he shared with Harry. Harry had saved him once using that connection. It was time for Draco to do the same thing. "I want that potion," Draco demanded determinately.

James nodded and gave a tiny little bottle to him to drink. Draco drank the green liquid and lay on the bed beside Harry. James stood with them for a while, extremely relieved to know that Harry would be okay. He watched as Draco's breath drew steadier, indicating that he had finally fallen asleep. 

He went back to the living room and thought about Sirius and Remus. It was frustrating and annoying not to be allowed to go after them. He just wished they were fine. Sirius knew how to take care of himself, he told himself. Besides, Remus was with him. Yes, they would be all right. 

And then there was Lucius and the feelings he had awoken in Damiana's shop. How could he talk to Lucius without arguing with him? He stared at the blond man, who was again reading a book, but Lucius didn't even notice he was there. James sat down next to him.

"Lucius, can we talk about… us?" James asked hurriedly and Lucius stared at him with surprise.

 At the same time, they heard a _crack outside the cottage and they instantly went to the window to investigate._

"What was that?" James asked, searching for the origin of the noise.

"I have no idea." Lucius looked around, but saw nothing. 

There was nothing unusual outside the cottage. After checking if the protection spells on the door were activated, Lucius made his way back to the couch. Annoyed that James was staring at him, he tripped and dropped the book on the floor. He and James knelt down at the same time to pick the book up. Their fingers brushed making them jolt. Lucius stood up hastily and tried to act normally, but James knew better. Lucius was as nervous as he was from the touch. 

The familiar tingle James felt every time Lucius touched him ran all over his body and he just couldn't hold himself. He closed the distance between them, guided by the strong desire he felt for Lucius and stopped only a few feet away. Lucius was breathing with difficulty and looking at him with an odd expression. 

"I should go outside and see if there's someone out there," Lucius muttered, putting some distance between them.

"There's no one there," James muttered back.

"You heard the noise."

"Yes, I did." James closed the distance between them again and their lips almost touched. 

"Potter, what are you doing?" Lucius managed to ask.

"I don't know. Kissing you, I guess." James's lips captured Lucius's slowly but firmly. 

Lucius didn't move. He was too shocked to do anything. James didn't stop though. Lucius's lack of reaction only gave him courage to keep going. He deepened the kiss, his tongue making its way inside Lucius's mouth demandingly. The book in Lucius's hand fell on the floor with a loud noise but neither of them noticed. Lucius brought James closer and deepened the kiss, making them both moan. 

They had been holding back their desire for each other for too long. After such a long and stressful day, they wanted some relief. They didn't talk. They both knew that words would only spoil the moment. Their mouths caressed each other softly in the beginning and then more eagerly as time went by. Lucius was terrified about the whole thing but he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to feel James's soft lips caressing his. His fingers brushed James's nipples hidden by the black long-sleeved T-shirt. 

It had been so long since their last time together. So many things had happened. So much pain…

James was lost in pleasure. He wanted Lucius badly. His left hand unzipped Lucius trousers, but before James could touch him more intimately, Lucius pulled away, leaving him confused.

"What?" James asked, his eyes lost in a daze. 

Lucius shook his head a few times so he could get himself out of James's spell. "Are you insane, Potter? This is not supposed to happen. Not now, not ever."

"Why not?"

"You know why! You despise me. Every time we did it, it was the same drama. You always denied us. You used to freak out, don't you remember? I won't let that happen again!" Lucius said, his eyes flickering. 

James knew that it was true, but he decided to start again. "It won't happen like that, I promise."

Lucius smirked. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I want you," James confessed quietly.

Time froze. Lucius's anger increased dangerously. Who did James think he was to play with his emotions like that? 

"Lucius, I–" 

"NO!" Lucius cut James off.

"But–"

"I said no." 

But James didn't listen to him. Instead, he attacked Lucius with another kiss but was pushed away roughly. 

"I said no," Lucius repeated incisively. "You don't want me. You just need me to release your stress."

"Since when do you have morals?" James said brusquely. "You were the one who used me in the past!"

"That's not true and you know it!"

"You used _Imperius on me!" James accused. Being rejected was something new to him. _

"Oh, here we go. Yes, let's bring the subject up one last time because you haven't talked about it enough!"

"I'm not using you! I could never do that!"

"Then why do you want us to do this?" Lucius asked sharply. 

"Because…" James closed his eyes, defeated. Lucius was partially right. James did want to have sex in order to release the tension, but he also wanted Lucius because he loved him. For the first time in his life, _he_ had made the first move. That was probably why Lucius was acting so defensive. But the timing was all wrong. And if he did want to have sex just to relax, then wouldn't he be using Lucius? "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Then you admit that you wanted me just so you could forget about your worries?" 

"Yes," James said against his will. He saw Lucius look at him with disgust and he added, "And no."

Lucius frowned. "What's that mean?" 

"It means that I… I…"

They heard a loud noise outside the cottage. The magical lockers undid one by one and the door flew open. A man walked inside carrying another one with difficulty. James and Lucius held their wands and were ready to strike but then the man shouted, "WAIT! DON'T HIT US! Help me, James!"

James lowered his wand under Lucius protests. James's eyes opened up widely when he saw who they were. 

"Remus?" James asked. 

"Yeah, Prongs, it's me," Remus said so James wouldn't have any doubts that it was the real him. "Please, we need a place to hide."

"What happened?"

"It's Sirius…" Remus said trembling. "He's… he's been hit by _Cruciatus_."

TBC…

**A/N:** One more chapter done! Can you imagine what will happen now that I've placed James, Lucius, Draco, Harry, Remus and Sirius in the same place??? Muahaha!


	11. Devotion

Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. and WB have the right to make toys, movies and other things about them. *g*

Thanks a lot to my Betas: **Susan**, **FerretMalfoy** and **Jamie**. Also, I want to thank **Liz** for helping me with the other two previous chapters! Also, THANK **YOU** for reviewing! I wish I had time to thank you all properly… 

**Warning**: This chapter was written while I was under the influence of Indian incense. No, it's not a drug! But it's something that helps to clean our soul. Or so said the lady who sold me... ^_^! Anyway, the chapter is really fluffy and extraordinarily sappy. A lot. So you've been warned! It's a fluffy overdose, people. Watch out!

Chap. 11 – **DEVOTION**

It had all happened very fast. One minute Sirius was fighting like a maniac with Pettigrew and in the next the little chubby man had hit him with the Cruciatus curse. Remus had felt every little bit of Sirius's pain. He had shouted Sirius's name and when he'd seen Sirius collapse on to the ground he ran to his side and dragged his love away from the chaos and from Pettigrew's sight. 

"Moony, I've been hit," Sirius had panted. "Don't stop fighting! Leave me here!"

"No!"

Sirius still tried to make him change his mind, but Remus didn't. Instead, he convinced Sirius that they had to find a safe place to hide. They couldn't go back to Hogwarts, the path was obstructed by Dementors, and so they headed for the Sanskrit Cottage, where James was. They knew the location since they'd already been there visiting their old friend. 

It was a long way since Remus had to drag Sirius with him. The stupid dark-haired man still wanted to fight. 

Sirius passed out the moment they had seen the cottage, leaving Remus alone to undo all the spells that were blocking the door. When they finally reached the inside of the cottage, Remus had been received with wands pointed at him.

"WAIT! DON'T HIT US! Help me, James!" Remus shouted.

James lowered his wand under Lucius' protests. James' eyes opened up widely when he saw who they were. 

"Remus?" James asked. 

"Yeah, Prongs, it's me," Remus said so James wouldn't have any doubts that it was the real him. "Please, we need a place to hide."

"What happened?"

"It's Sirius…" Remus said trembling. "He's… he's been hit by _Cruciatus_."

James rushed to his side to help Remus carry Sirius inside. Lucius' protests and gruffness were ignored as the two friends talked. 

"I was very concerned about you two," James said when they laid Sirius in Lucius's bed. 

From the doorway, Lucius shot him a glare that said _'The hell you were, kissing me like that!'_, but James ignored him once again. 

"Oh, great," Lucius complained aloud. "Now I have to give _my bed_ to my wife's lover. Talk about irony..."

"Shut up, Malfoy," James said. He called Dobby to help them with Sirius and after cleaning his wounds they left him resting. 

"Remus, are you all right?" James asked gripping Remus' shoulder. 

"Yeah, I think so. Listen, James, would you mind if we talked later? I... I need to stay with Sirius."

James agreed to it immediately. He'd always suspected that Remus' feelings for Sirius surpassed friendship. 

"Of course, Moony. Call me if you need anything."

They hugged and Remus entered the room again, closing the door behind him. Lucius snorted. 

"_Moony_?" Lucius sneered, staring at James.

"Shut it, Malfoy," James said gruffly.

"I won't leave them alone! We have a mad man _and_ a werewolf under our roof! If you think I won't put any wards on this door, you're very mistaken," Lucius said, pulling out his wand and aiming the door. James stood in front of him and crossed his arms. 

"It's not full moon yet, and Sirius needs to rest. Chill out, all right? They won't do anything to you." And then James smirked. "Scared, Malfoy?"

Lucius' mouth twitched. "You wish."

And with that, James dragged Lucius to the living room. 

In the bedroom, Remus sat on a chair to watch Sirius. For the rest of the night Sirius tossed and turned in his sleep with a fever that didn't seem to go away. Remus took that as a good sign though. It was the proof that Sirius was fighting against the deadly effects of the _Cruciatus_ Curse. He didn't sleep, but just once he rested his head near Sirius's pillow, and once was enough for Sirius to feel his body next to him and cuddled against it, to his utter surprise. 

For a moment, Remus could hardly breathe because of their proximity. He kept telling himself that there was nothing wrong with it. Sirius was _sleeping_ and probably dreaming about _Narcissa_, hence why he had cuddled against him. 

Sirius's hand moved and rested on his navel. Remus' breath quickened, but he didn't dare to move away. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist. Since he was there, he might as well relax and try to rest a little. But then he felt Sirius' breath on his neck, and a soft brush of Sirius' nose tip on his cheek that set him on fire. Remus fought against the urge to turn his head just a little bit and join their lips together. It was too much of a temptation, but still he managed to hold himself in check. 

It was then that he felt Sirius's hand moving up and down his chest, caressing it softly, and Remus just lost it.

Without controlling himself, Remus captured Sirius' lips with his own. Sirius kissed him back eagerly. It was heaven for Remus. He was finally kissing Sirius and it was everything he had imagined it to be. Sirius' mouth was soft and juicy, and Remus felt as if he could kiss it forever. Tingles of pleasure ran through his body, but he knew it was wrong to take advantage of Sirius when he wasn't even awake, so he drew back, panting and swearing softly for his bad luck. 

He opened his eyes slightly and met Sirius' blurred ones.

"Moony?" Sirius muttered hoarsely. 

Remus' eyes flew open and his heart almost jumped out of his mouth. It was a disaster in great proportions. Sirius _was_ awake and he'd kick Remus out of bed for kissing him. Sirius _didn't_ push him away though. He did quite the opposite in fact. He drew Remus closer, the tip of his nose touching Remus' and his mouth only a few inches away from Remus' trembling lips.

"Why did you stop?" Sirius said, still muttering. 

"Because... I don't know," Remus answered in a whisper, swallowing hard. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was," Sirius said, grinning dreamily. "Your smell woke me up." 

Sirius snuffled Remus' neck, tickling him. 

"My _smell_?" Remus frowned, shivering with desire. 

"Yes. Blame it on Padfoot. He knows your scent by heart." 

Remus couldn't help but giggle and moan as he felt Sirius kissing his earlobe. "You don't know what you're doing," he protested feebly, unwilling to move away from Sirius' arms.

"I guess not. But it feels so good," Sirius whispered, kissing Remus on the lips. 

Sirius' experienced hands took off Remus' robe and stroked the bare chest. Remus' underpants came next. Sirius had seen Remus naked on many occasions before, but never like this. He stroked every scar, including the big one made by the werewolf who had bitten Remus. Even skinny and marked, Remus was a beautiful vision to be admired, just like he'd been when they were sixteen. 

Sirius didn't know exactly what he was doing – his mind was trapped between dream and reality – but he just couldn't hold himself. His body was hot as if it was burning in fever. Barely did he know that he had a fever _for real. _

He kissed every scar on Remus' body, licking it every once in a while. Remus grabbed Sirius's hair when he went down on him and moaned with pleasure and surprise. 

Remus thought Sirius didn't have experience with other men, but so far he was doing very well. Jealousy ran through him as he imagined who that man could be. He pulled Sirius by the hair and kissed him fiercely. 

Sirius' clothes were soon lying on the floor and their naked bodies touched each other, making them shiver in delight and anticipation. They fit perfectly together, just as Remus had imagined countless times before. 

Remus took the time to admire the object of his love and desire for so many years. As if the werewolf had possessed him, Remus kissed Sirius deeply, desperate to feel more of him. 

Their bodies moved together, enticing moans from both of them. Remus felt Sirius preparing him, and it was like a cold shower. Remus knew what they were doing wasn't right. Sirius was not well. He probably thought he was dreaming. Remus didn't have the excuse though. He _knew_ _very_ _well_ what was happening. He tried to pull away but Sirius held him underneath his body.

"What? Did I hurt you?" Sirius asked, confused. 

"No."

"Then what's wrong?"

"This isn't right, Sirius," Remus muttered, not looking at Sirius.

"My body says the opposite," Sirius whispered, his body touching Remus', so he could feel just how much he wanted Remus. 

"Your body is stupid," Remus said. "You don't know what you're doing and when tomorrow comes you'll hate me."

"I would never hate you, Remy. Ever." Sirius kissed him on the cheek. 

Remus flinched. "I wouldn't be so sure."

"Stop thinking, Remus," Sirius argued. "That's your problem, you know? You think too much."

"And you don't think at all! You don't know what you're doing, Sirius. You might not even remember this!"

"I'm not that crazy, Remus," Sirius objected, his eyes still blurry.

"What about N–"

"Shush," Sirius silenced Remus with a kiss. "For once, don't think. Just surrender."

"I can't."

But as Sirius went down on him again, he found it very hard to think rationally about anything at all. Again he felt Sirius preparing him, but this time he didn't put up a fight. When Sirius entered him, all of Remus' good sense went out through the window. 

"Sirius..." Remus trembled. 

"Remus..."

They let themselves go, forgetting about the rest of the world. 

-----------------------

It took Draco a while to activate his daydream connection with Harry. He'd been stuck in his own dreamland for a while, a dream where he silently watched as the world was destroyed by thousands of hooded figures. He felt someone touching his shoulder and turned to see who it was. 

"What are you still doing here?" asked an older Draco, tapping his foot on the floor impatiently.

Draco frowned. "What?"

"You shouldn't be here. You should be helping Harry," said the older Draco. "Don't you remember?"

Draco nodded, still in a dreaming state. Irritated, the older Draco pinched him so he let out a yelp. 

"Ouch! What did you do that for?" complained Draco.

"You're too deep in your own dream. I had to come to remind you about what's really important."

"Voldemort is destroying the world!" Draco pointed to the surface bellow as if that was important enough.

"No, he's not," said the older Draco losing his patience. "You're _dreaming_. Snap out of it!"

The voice echoed in Draco's head and he felt himself spinning quickly as his body was thrown in the air. He flew guideless for a while until he landed on the ground hardly. He swore and stroked his butt softly. Then he looked around, fully aware now that he had to find Harry, wherever he was. 

The place wasn't like _his_ subconscious, but it was similar. The landscape around wasn't grey like his, but as far as the eye could see, there was only desert ahead. It was all very lonely. It reminded Draco of a trip he'd made with his father once to the Sahara Desert. Draco gave a step forward and his foot sank a little bit in the sand. He swore again.

"Dammit, Harry! And here I was thinking that your subconscious would be a walk in the park, _literally_."

He walked for a while, shouting Harry's name every now and then. He was tired and almost ready to give up when someone appeared by his side. To his surprise, it was Hermione. He frowned at the vision. 

"Harry, you really are fucked up," he said.

"Language, Mister," said Hermione in her bossy tone of voice.

"What are doing here?" Draco asked. "Is this a subliminal message to tell me that Harry likes _you_?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You sound like Ron... Of course Harry likes me. We're best friends. I'm just here to organise things for him. I think he sees me as someone who always keep things together, you know, a centred person. I make him feel safe somehow. I think it's rather cute and flattering." 

Draco crossed his arms, annoyed. "I don't know about that, but I don't like it."

Hermione giggled. "Oh, you're jealous. How cute."

"Shut up, Granger! I'm not jealous. How come I'd be jealous of a Mudb–"

"You wouldn't want to finish that word, lad," said Ron from behind Draco. "Finish it and I'll break you."

Draco turned to face Ron with anger. "I can't believe this. The _Weasel_ is here as well! What about me, huh? I thought I was the most important person in Harry's life!!!" Draco complained. "Why am I not here as well? I should have stayed in my own dream..."

"Can't you stop whining?" Ron threatened. "I've had enough with you! I should kick you out!"

"I wanna see you try," Draco sneered.

"Boys, please," Hermione said, trying to pacify them.

"But 'Mione, he was about to call you a Mudblood!"

"He's just feeling threatened by us," she said calmly. 

"Threatened!? Ha! As if!" Draco exclaimed.

It was true, though. Draco couldn't believe he was in Harry's dream and talking to Ron and Hermione instead of Harry. Draco stared at them and snorted. Why wasn't he talking to himself? He should be the one to make Harry feel safe, not _them_. But then he remembered how his subconscious had tested Harry. Perhaps Harry was doing the same thing to him. He sighed deeply. 

"Where's the Scar Head?" he asked, his arms crossed. "Wait. Are _you_ Harry?"

Hermione and Ron looked at each other and laughed. Draco grumbled something rude.

"Of course we're not Harry! I mean, look at us!" Ron said, still laughing. 

"Yeah," Hermione said, beaming. "Unless Harry has a wish to have breasts like mine!"

"All right, I'm tired of this stupid game, Harry!" Draco shouted through the air. "I'm not as patient as you are, so don't play with me! I'll leave, Harry, don't think I won't. You know I'm very unstable."

"More than usual, you mean," Ron teased.

"Ron, please," said Hermione, hiding a grin.

Draco counted to ten and smirked, staring far ahead. "I see what you're doing, Harry. I got it. You made Ron and Hermione _host_ me just to make me upset, so I'd give up and leave. Well, it won't work, Harry! I won't leave!" Draco remembered his previous words and sighed, "All right, so maybe I said I would, but it's not true. You didn't give up on me, Harry. Ever. So I won't give up on you as well. I love you, no matter how much you want me to stay out. I understand your pain. Please, Harry. I know you must be feeling hurt. I can only imagine what Voldemort told you. Please, let me see you. Let me comfort you."

Hermione sighed deeply. "Oh, that's so romantic." Then she slapped Ron, who looked at her as if she had gone mad. "Why aren't you like this?" she asked demandingly. 

Draco shook his head. "You're annoying even in Harry's subconscious."

Ron and Hermione glared at him.

"Well, mister, that attitude won't get you anywhere," Hermione said with her bossy tone of voice.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Ok, I'm sorry. I just want to see Harry. Everyone is worried about him. Our fathers are under the same roof with us, Harry, and they are just like us when we insisted on fighting each other. It's really funny to watch. I want you to come back with me, Harry."

"Your father is _gay_?" Ron asked, dumbfound. "_The_ evil Lucius Malfoy is gay?"

"Oh, don't start, Weasley," Draco said, upset. "And if you joke about it, Harry's dream or not, I'll break your carrot face!"

"You can't blame him for being astonished," Hermione said.

"You're a much more pleasant girl outside here, Granger," Draco pointed out.

"You're starting to piss me off, Draco Malfoy," she said, fuming. Then she shouted, "HARRY! HARRY! We are out of here, Harry! Only you can stand him."

"Now we're talking, 'Mione. See why I still don't like him?" Ron said to her.

While Draco glared at them, Hermione kept shouting Harry's name, but he didn't show up. She sighed, but refused to show defeat. She and Ron talked for a moment, away from Draco's ears, and then vanished. Draco was left alone once again. 

He kept walking on the sand, swearing every time his shoes got full of it. Finally, he reached a beautiful oasis with palm trees and a small crystalline lake. To his relief and delight, Harry was there, sitting on a stone, staring at nothing. 

"HARRY!" he called, but Harry didn't turn around to greet him. It was like Harry hadn't even heard him. 

He got closer and started his way down when Hermione and Ron appeared in front of him and made him stop. Draco wished he had his wand so he could just wave them out of his way with a simple flick.

"What now?" Draco asked, annoyed.

"I don't think he wants to see anyone. He even told _us_ to bugger off," Hermione said sadly. 

"Yeah, things don't look so good, Malfoy," Ron acquiesced.

Draco looked at Harry, still staring at nothing, a lost expression on his face. Draco's heart constricted in his chest. He wanted to reach Harry, but he didn't know how. Draco wondered what horrible things Voldemort must have said to him. One thing he knew for sure though was that Ron and Hermione weren't enough to stop him. He would get rid of them. 

He closed his eyes and called Harry through his thoughts. He tried to send Harry scenes of them together. He felt himself swirling again and when he opened his eyes, he was standing next to Harry. Ron and Hermione had stayed away, staring at him with smiles on their faces. 

"Harry," Draco called softly. Harry didn't respond. Draco put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Please, Harry."

Harry flinched and said without looking at Draco, "How did you pass my sentinels?"

"Er... Do you mean Ron and Hermione?"

"Yes."

Draco smirked. "Bloody sentinels they are. Honestly, Harry, you should have chosen someone better to stop me, like my father or your godfather... You know I don't like him. Even Snape would have done the trick. But Weasley and Hermione... Please..."

"She slapped you once and it seemed very effective at the time," Harry pointed out, still not looking at Draco. "Besides, they seemed to be doing a pretty good job out there."

"Well, they didn't," Draco replied, upset. "I wouldn't be here otherwise!"

"No, you wouldn't," Harry sighed gloomily. 

Draco sat next to Harry and took his hand, gripping it firmly. "You know I won't give up on you."

"For a moment I thought you would," Harry said coldly.

Draco felt embarrassed at the memory. "I was only... blackmailing you."

Harry sighed. "You shouldn't be here. Every time you spend your magical energy you feel weaker," Harry said concernedly. "That was why I was trying to shoo you. That, and because I want to be alone for a while. You'd think that it'd be possible when one is asleep."

"Oh, come on! Who would want to be alone and miserable with someone like me around?"

Harry smiled feebly and finally looked at Draco. "You're so full of yourself."

Draco shrugged, but his insides where turned upside down by Harry's stare. "What can I say in my defence? It's a Malfoy trademark. That, the mystical stare, and the smirk."

Harry smiled amusedly. "_Mystical_ stare?"

"Well, yes, Potter. Is that a problem?"

Harry chuckled. "No. It's just funny, that's all." Harry gazed at the lake again and silence fell upon them.

"Look, Harry, I'm here for you. You know that, don't you? I mean," Draco made a pause and looked down. "I know you don't want to talk, which is annoying because I tell you everything, but I understand. You must be feeling awful. Having Voldemort in your head like that... messing with it... feeding you with distrust and lies..."

Harry instantly turned his eyes on him. "How do you know?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What bit?"

"That he was feeding me with distrust and lies. Because I'm sure he was lying, but I'm not so sure... I mean, he can't be..." Harry stirred up as if something had disturbed him.

"What?" Draco said, looking around. "Is there someone else here with us?"

Harry shook his head and sat on Draco's lap, burying his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco seemed to be taken aback for a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and held him tightly, trying to comfort him the best way he could. He muttered words of encouragement in Harry's ear and told him how much he loved him. Harry smiled at him. If someone in Hogwarts could have seen Draco Malfoy being soft and tender they would probably think it was someone doing a Polyjuice impersonation of him. For everyone in school the real Draco was nasty and evil. For Harry, he was someone else entirely. 

"You can let it all out, you know? Cry if you need to," Draco whispered.

"No, I won't cry. I'm more pissed off than anything else." Harry looked at him and touched his forehead with Draco's. "Besides, I'm _sleeping_. If I cry, I'll also cry in my sleep and it'd be way too embarrassing. Lucius is there. I could never show weakness in front of your father, Draco. He would use it against me for the rest of my life."

"Hmm..." Draco wished he could deny that but indeed, if Lucius saw Harry crying, he would make fun of him for the rest of Harry's life. "Do you at least want to tell me what Voldemort said to you?"

Harry sniggered. "He told me the joke of the century."

"What?"

Harry licked his lips and stared at nothing again. "He told me I'm his grandson."

For a moment, Draco felt like he was paralysed with shock and he wondered if his hearing was all right. Had Harry just told him that he was Voldemort's grandson? That could only be a joke. Then again, Harry had told him that it _was_ the joke of the century.

"By Merlin's beard!" Draco exclaimed. "He didn't... It's too bloody... I mean..." he was at a loss for words.

"That wasn't all. He said my mother was a Death Eater."

Draco looked thoughtful. "Well, it's not that bad, is it?"

Harry immediately stood up and glared at Draco. "What do you mean _it's not that bad_? It's horrible! I grew up with everyone telling me how perfect my parents were, only to find out that my father had a secret crush on _yours_ and that my mother was a Death Eater! Everyone told me she was the sweetest person in the world! How could she become a Death Eater then?"

"Calm down, Harry," Draco said, standing too. "Just because she was a Death Eater, it didn't mean–"

"It didn't mean what? That she wasn't a bad person?"

"Well, yes, kind of, and–"

"What the hell are you talking about? Who in their right minds would support that monster?"

"If you just let me finish–"

"Is there a way to be good _and_ a Death Eater at the same time?" Harry cut him off again. "I don't think so."

"SHUT IT FOR A BLOODY MINUTE, WILL YOU!?" Draco shouted, losing his patience.

And Harry did, but not after shooting him an angry look.

"Voldemort tricked a lot of people in the past, Harry. A lot! And not just that, but he controlled them with _Imperius_. You know about this. Don't you read? Some people thought Voldemort meant progress; others thought that he would separate wizards from muggles once and for all, which in my opinion wasn't such a bad idea. WAIT JUST A MINUTE! Let me finish!" Draco shouted when he saw Harry open his mouth ready to protest. "I believe this is not the time for us to talk about our beliefs."

"I didn't think you'd support that stupid racist idea!" Harry cut across him. 

"You knew what I thought about it, Harry. I never hid it from you."

"But I thought that you'd changed your mind about that Mudblood stuff." 

"I did. I said that I'd thought it wasn't such a bad idea back then. Haven't you ever wondered why there's such hatred against Muggles in our world?"

Harry shrugged. "No. I just thought it was a stupid snobbish thing."

"Our people were persecuted in the past, Harry. A lot. Muggles fear us. Why do you think we have to hide our existence from them? Didn't you read about The Inquisition?"

Harry knew a little, but the truth was that he had never really thought about it. He'd never connected one thing to the other. He had made an essay about it, he remembered now, but at the time it had been amusing to read that some witches and wizards had let themselves get caught just because they thought it was funny. It hadn't occurred to him that most people in the wizarding world wouldn't have found it so humorous. 

"I just…" Harry began. "Still… It doesn't excuse Voldemort or anyone for that matter."

"I know. I know, Harry," Draco said tiredly. "Forgive me for shouting at you. I just… When you say that your mother was a Death Eater, you say it as if it was the most horrible thing in the world, like she was doomed…"

"Wasn't she?" Harry asked quietly. 

"I don't know. You don't even know if it's true. But… _My_ _father_ is a Death Eater. I like to believe that he has a way out. If your mother was a Death Eater, then at some point she must have jumped out of it. Can't you see? If it's true, then my father has a chance of salvation. That's why it didn't look so bad to me. But you're right. She was your mother. You had this perfect image of her. I'm sorry if I was such an insensitive git."

Harry's expression softened. He hadn't realised Draco had been thinking about Lucius. 

"Voldemort was probably lying to you about everything," Draco said, looking down. "Wait until you wake up so you can ask your father about it."

Harry's eyes flickered with unshed tears, not just for him, but for Draco too. 

"If she really was a Death Eater, Harry," Draco said quietly, "then try to understand why. She must have had a reason. A very strong one. Voldemort probably told her that she was his daughter. That must have messed with her head quite a lot. He must have tricked her as well, and when she realised he was a liar, she helped the Order."

Harry felt like a big weight had been taken off of his shoulders. Draco was right. He should find out about it properly before freaking out. Besides, Draco needed to hope that one day Lucius would be redeemed from his sins. Most of all, Draco needed _him_. 

"Draco, I'm sorry," Harry muttered.

"It's all right. I know it's not easy. Our lives are really screwed up."

Harry got closer to him and lifted Draco's chin so they could be face to face and then he whispered, "If I am Voldemort's grandson, I don't know what I'll do. I won't know myself anymore."

"Why? It won't change the person you are inside," Draco said incisively. "The Malfoys are vicious by nature, Harry. But you said to me once that just because they were, it didn't mean I would be as well. I'm Draco, not them. Just like you're Harry Potter and no one else can take that away from you."

Harry took a step forward and hugged Draco tightly. "Thanks."

"You're my strength, Harry. If you fall apart, I'll go with you, so I can't let that happen. I'm actually selfish if you think about it," Draco joked. 

Harry smiled and their eyes locked on each others. 

"Oh, bugger!" Draco exclaimed, making a face. "You do realise that if you _are_ Voldemort's grandson, it also means that you're Slytherin's heir! Damn you, Potter! That's probably why Voldemort wants to destroy you so much! You're both Slytherin's and Gryffindor's heir!" 

"It also means I'm related to, ugh, Pansy," Harry said, disgusted.

"There's always a high price to pay for power, Harry."

"Too high if you ask me. I'll give up on it in a second just to get rid of Voldemort."

"It also makes you sexier. Slytherin's blood runs in your veins…" Draco's lips brushed Harry's. 

"That just corroborates my theory that you're with me because fame and power are very strong aphrodisiacs." 

Draco smiled against his lips. "Well, they are. I won't deny it."

"So if you find out that there's nothing special about me…" Harry let it hang in the air.

"I'll dump you," Draco completed. 

"Oh, really?"

"Of course. I'm shallow, Harry, don't you remember?" 

Harry kissed him fiercely. "I'll kill you if you leave me."

Draco frowned. "You? The goody-goody Harry Potter? I don't think so. So spare you're homicide tendencies because I'm not going anywhere."

They kissed again. Draco felt Harry's need for him in every kiss they shared. It was as if Harry was starving for affection, like he wanted Draco to be his saviour for the night. Harry was tired of being strong. He wanted Draco to make him forget about everything. 

"Do you think we can make love in here?" Draco whispered, his eyes cloudy with desire. 

"I dunno," Harry whispered back. "It'd be interesting, though. But then again, we might embarrass ourselves in front of our fathers. Can you imagine the scene?"

Draco could. He could see Lucius' face of disgust once he realised that Draco and Harry were very aroused. 

"It would be hilarious," Draco said, grinning. "Your father would be shocked."

"Let's just lie down and rest," Harry suggested. "I sure need to relax."

"I can help you with that." Then Draco looked around. "Can't you summon a bed or something?"

Harry nodded and instantly a tent appeared next to them. Inside they found very fluffy cushions. They lay side by side and kissed. 

"I didn't expect to find a desert in your head, Harry," Draco said after a while. "Do you really feel so alone?"

"Sometimes," Harry muttered softly, stroking Draco's face tenderly. "I guess the desert makes me feel… little and insignificant. I like to feel this way sometimes. I don't like the spotlight, Draco, whether you believe it or not."

"I know, Harry. I like to tease you about it exactly because I know you don't like it."

"Prick."

"Four eyes."

"Spoiled brat." 

"Scar Head."

And they kissed once again.

-------------------------

It was the fourth time Lucius had gone to inspect on Sirius and Remus, and James was getting tired of it. Still, he let Lucius go, hoping that Remus would turn into a werewolf and eat him. He sneered at the thought. James had preferred to watch Harry and Draco, who were now sleeping cuddled against each other, smiling broadly. James wondered what they were dreaming about.

He went back to the living room and lay on the couch. On the floor, near the lit fireplace, there was a board of chess that he and Lucius had been playing for a while now. James was winning so far, to Lucius' distress. His rook had pulverised Lucius' knight, and James had the feeling that that was the reason why Lucius had made a _pause_ to go check on Remus and Sirius. 

A few minutes later, Lucius entered the living room looking quite intrigued. James stared at him curiously and Lucius snorted at the look. 

"What?" James asked. "Did something happen? Are they all right?"

"I believe they are, Potter, although I'm not so sure," Lucius said sharply.

"What do you mean?"

Lucius moved uncomfortably. "All I could hear were moans, and I don't know whether they are from Black's pain or... because they are having sex," Lucius muttered the last words quite aggravated, and James opened his eyes wide. "I do know for sure," Lucius went on, "that thinking about a werewolf and a dog fucking disturbs me a _lot_, so I'd rather think that Black is dying_. This_ thought actually comforts me."

James took a moment to think about what Lucius had just said to him. Could it be true? James was suddenly struck by a memory of his past where he was watching Sirius cry silently in their room. He had been in shock at the time because he had never seen Sirius cry for anything. He remembered sitting beside him in bed, their hands entwined, soft words spoken, and then... 

James' eyes flew open even more.

And then they had _kissed_. He gulped, the memories floating in front of him. 

***James' flashback***

_James was coming back to the Gryffindor Common Room after a Quidditch practice. Sirius hadn't been there, which was the most unusual thing. Sirius didn't miss their training unless there was something bothering him. So obviously, James was worried. He searched him everywhere until he found Sirius sobbing in their room. It was a shock to James. Sirius didn't cry for anything. _

_"Sirius, what's the matter?" he asked, sitting next to Sirius. _

_Sirius seemed to be taken aback for a moment, and then he sighed. "It's nothing."_

_"Did you receive a letter from your parents?"_

_James knew Sirius and his parents didn't get along. _

_"James... D-do you think it's all right for two boys to kiss?" Sirius stuttered._

_James stirred on his seat, preoccupied that Sirius had found out about him and Lucius. _

_"I... Er... I dunno," James said nervously. "I guess, I... Look, Sirius, whatever you think you saw..."_

_"Did you see it, too?" Sirius asked him quickly. James stared at his friend with uncertainty and Sirius rushed, "Did you see Remus kissing that... that... that Ravenclaw boy?"_

_It was a day full of surprises, James thought. If he said he hadn't seen Remus kissing anyone, Sirius would ask too many questions. So instead he decided to question Sirius, "Do **you** think it's wrong? Because I don't. As long as he's happy, then what's the matter?"_

_Sirius grunted. "What's the matter!? Everything! He shouldn't've done that! It's not right, James."_

_"He's your friend."_

_"Exactly.__ And because he's my friend I have the right to warn him how dangerous it is for him to be kissing another boy. Isn't it enough that he's a werewolf? Why does he have to be so damn different?"_

_"What a horrible thing to say!" James said coldly. "If you say this to Remus I'll personally break your face, Sirius! Whatever he does with his life it's his problem, not yours! You're acting like your father, for Merlin's sake!"_

_At that word, Sirius jerked out, "Don't you dare, James. I'm nothing like my father."_

_"Well, you sound like him. Why is this bothering you so much anyway? It's like you're in love with him or someth–" James words died on his lips when he saw Sirius terrified expression. "It's not that, is it? Oh, fuck, Sirius. Are you in love with–"_

_"No!" Sirius quickly denied. "Of course not."_

_"You can tell **me**."_

_"It's not that! I'm just... Narcissa will marry Malfoy. Did you know? It's some stupid family contract."_

_Something broke inside of James. "Really? I didn't know."_

_"So if that wasn't enough, I saw Remus kissing that boy and I... I'm confused."_

_"Why?" James asked, trying to forget about his own pain of knowing about Lucius' wedding. . _

_"Because... it **hurt**," Sirius whispered. "I didn't think it would. Not like this."_

_James took Sirius' hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry."_

_Sirius shook his head. "It's ok. I knew Remus liked that boy; I just... wasn't prepared to see that kiss. I don't know why I'm crying." Sirius wiped his tears away angrily. "It seems so stupid. You know I don't cry."_

_"It's ok. I won't tell anyone."_

_"Thanks, James." they stayed quiet for a while until Sirius asked, "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss another boy?"_

_James gulped. He hadn't just wondered. He had done it. "Er, yes, only a few times."_

_Sirius looked at him oddly. "Do you think it would be... disgusting?"_

_"No, not at all," James said, remembering the kiss he had shared with Lucius. "I mean, I guess not."_

_"W-would you k-kiss me?" Sirius asked hurriedly. _

_James didn't know what to say. A part of him was tempted. Sirius was a handsome bloke and incredibly attractive, but they were best friends and James was dating Lily. James didn't think much, though, because Sirius' lips captured his all of a sudden, taking James by surprise. Sirius kissed him carefully at first and then eagerly as they passed the awkwardness. They unzipped their trousers without thinking much about it. James let himself be stroked by Sirius and then he did the same with his friend until they came quietly. _

_The whole thing lasted only a few minutes and after it was over, they stared at the ceiling, confused. _

_They waited for their breaths to steady before pulling themselves together. They didn't dare to look at each other. _

_"Er..." Sirius finally said, "I guess... it's dinner time, isn't it?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Ok."_

_"Sirius?"___

_Sirius looked at him flustered. "Let's not mention this, ok. It was just..."_

_"I know."_

_"It won't happen again."_

_"Of course not."___

_"And nothing will change between us."_

_"No. You're my best friend."_

_Sirius smiled feebly. "But it was good, wasn't it?"_

_James smiled back. "Yeah, it was."_

_Sirius gave him one last kiss before burying that subject forever._

***End Flashback***

James felt someone shaking him and he opened his eyes to see who it was. He gazed at Lucius, who staring at him with an unpleasant face. He realised then that he had momentarily _gone off_, as Harry used to tell him. He had the habit to do that when he was remembering something. It was one of the side effects of the Memory Potion.

"You kissed _Black_?" Lucius roared. 

"What?" James looked at him dumbfounded. 

"You were talking while you were drifting and you said you kissed Black! _Black_! Ugh! As if I hadn't enough to deal with," Lucius snarled. "Did you just kiss or did something else? When did it happen?"

"Why do you care?" James replied, annoyed. "It doesn't concern you anyway!"

Lucius sniggered. "I guess you're right. I suppose that whether I kiss Severus or not is also my problem."

"YOU WHAT? Did you kiss that slimy git?"

Lucius sniggered widely. "What if I did?"

"Just… EW! SNAPE? At least Sirius is a very good-looking man and he washes his hair!"

"Severus was very handsome under that awful hair of his," Lucius said, shrugging. "Now that he's finally cut it and washed it, you can see that. You saw him, didn't you? He's quite intriguing."

"Ew. I don't want to hear it."

"I didn't kiss him, Potter, but you did kiss Black. Did you kiss the werewolf as well? Was I your first at all?"

"I didn't kiss Remus. And to my deep displeasure, yes, you were my first. Sirius and me never… We never did it."

"How can you be so sure?"

James wasn't sure, but something inside of him was telling him that he and Sirius had only shared a moment like that together once. 

"I just know it, all right?"

Lucius sat on the armchair and stared at the fireplace. James wondered if he should say something, but in the end he decided to just be quiet. Lucius had nothing to do with that kiss shared between him and Sirius. No, it wasn't true, James thought bitterly. Lucius had everything to do with it. If Sirius hadn't told him that Lucius would marry Narcissa, then James wouldn't have kissed Sirius. 

"Sirius told me you were going to marry Narcissa that day," James confessed quietly. "I guess that was why we kissed. We wanted to forget. He had his own motives, I had mine. We weren't thinking straight."

"Damn right you weren't," Lucius sneered, but deep down something inside twitched. Was James telling him that he had only kissed Black because he had been hurt by the knowledge that Lucius would get married? No, he must have understood wrong. James never cared for him. "We didn't finish our game," Lucius pointed out, trying to forget about his feelings.

James felt quite annoyed by the sudden change of subject, but he knew it was just Lucius' way of shielding himself from his feelings. James absently moved The True Love Ring inside his pocket, thinking of a way to make Lucius admit that he felt something other than hate and despite for him, when it hit him. _The True Love Ring._Damiana had told him the ring would make sure they were meant to be. James just had to think of a way to put it in Lucius' finger. 

"Do you want to play it or what?" Lucius asked, irritated. 

Then again, the ring could be a fraud. At the thought, James sighed dispiritedly. 

"Potter?" Lucius called, annoyed.

But James had his mind somewhere else. He was thinking if it was worth it to use the ring. 

"POTTER? Are you drifting again?"

James finally looked at him. "What?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I asked if you want to finish the game. Merlin! I'm surrounded by crazy people!"

"Hey. I'm not crazy!" James replied. 

"You act like someone who should be in St Mungo's," Lucius said, sulkily. "Potter? Potter?"

But James wasn't paying attention to Lucius anymore. He was looking at the chessboard as if it was the most interesting thing he had seen in ages. Lucius shook his head, and while he thought about his bad luck, James was remembering that Lucius had always liked to bet. A lot. 

"You lost to Snape once, didn't you?" James said suddenly. 

Lucius stared at him as if he had finally lost his mind for good. "What?"

"There was this one time when the seventh years of Ravenclaw threw this big party and I couldn't go because I was sick, but Sirius told me that you bet with Snape that you could beat him in chess and so you played until you lost it."

James watched, highly amused, as Lucius' face turned a vivid shade of red.

"Your punishment was to strip naked," James said, savouring every word. 

Lucius fluttered even more. "What's your point?" he snarled. 

"Let's bet," James suggested innocently. 

"Bet?"

"Yes. We're almost finishing the game."

Lucius gazed at James. "Do you want the loser to strip naked?"

As much as he would love to see Lucius' nudity in all its glory, he didn't have that in mind exactly. 

"If I win, I want you to put something on," James said.

Lucius frowned. "What kind of kinky thing do you have in mind?"

James chuckled. "Nothing kinky, Lucius. I just want you to put a ring on your finger."

"What kind of ring?" Lucius asked, distrustful.

"A normal one," James said, annoyed. 

"Yeah, right. Like I would fall for that! There's no such thing as a normal ring in our world."

"For Merlin's beard! You're so annoying!" James said, upset. "It's called The True Love Ring. Damiana gave it to me. She said that I should put it on your finger, and if it turned red it'd mean we're soul mates. Are you satisfied now?"

Lucius couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You believed her?"

"No. But I… I just wanted to…"

"Can I see it?"

James looked at Lucius' stretched hand and thought if it was right to just give the ring to Lucius. Sighing, he took the ring from his pocket and placed it on Lucius' palm. Lucius carefully inspected it, to a point where he lit the tip of his wand and muttered something, making the ring glow. 

"What did you do?" James asked curiously. 

"I was checking out for dark spells. It's something you learn when you're Death Eater." Lucius didn't take his eyes off the ring. "This is the real thing, except that The True Love Ring is not exactly good. In the past it was used for dark purposes. An unfaithful husband would put it on his wife to see if she was in love with someone else."

"Does Damiana only sell dark stuff?" James asked worriedly, thinking about Harry. 

"Mainly, yes, but she's clever enough to only display objects that the Ministry considers only slightly dangerous."

"And the ring is…"

"Slightly dangerous, yes. It depends on its use, right?" Lucius finally raised his eyes from the ring and looked intently at James. "Why do you want me to put it on?"

James felt his palms sweat and his heart was beating fast. "I don't know. I just wanted to know."

"If we're soul mates?" 

James looked down. "Yes."

Lucius sneered, "Does it matter?"

James pondered about the question very carefully. '_Indeed'_, he thought, '_Does it matter?' _Did it matter to him to know for sure whether they were soul mates or not? Would it change how he felt? And the answer came upon him like an avalanche. No, it wouldn't change anything. He would still love Lucius. 

"You're right. It doesn't matter," he said decisively, standing up. 

"And what does that mean?" Lucius said stirring in his armchair as James drew nearer. 

"It means that I don't care," James said, throwing his caution out the window. "It doesn't matter what you feel for me, because it won't change the way _I_ feel. I hate feeling this way because of who you are, but I can't help it. I feel it through my entire being. The desire I feel for you remains strong even after so long. I want you, Lucius. You have no idea how much. Living under the same roof with you has been hell. I want desperately to touch you, but I know I'm not allowed, not just because you would dish me, but because of my own fears."

Lucius gulped. He'd never expected James to be so sincere. "James, what–?"

"I'm going to kiss you, and it doesn't matter what you do or say, I won't pull away this time. You want me, Lucius. You know you do. It's stronger than us. I'm man enough to admit it."

Lucius stood up and put some distance between them. His mind was working furiously, but with James so close to him, he was unable to think properly. He didn't know why he was acting like that. He wouldn't have missed a chance to be with James in the past. But everything was different now. He couldn't want James. His life was complicated enough as it was. 

James was there, willing to give himself to him. So why couldn't Lucius just go for it? It was just like a dream come true. How many times had he dreamed that James had said those exact words to him? Well, not exactly _those_ words, but it was close enough. And there he was, having second thoughts when he shouldn't have any, trying to rationalize the whole thing when he knew for certain that he couldn't. 

He couldn't deny what he felt for James.

And he wouldn't. 

It wasn't like James was expecting to hear the L word. Again, it was just about lust. Lucius didn't know why, but that thought made him feel strangely sad. 

He closed his eyes as he felt James' hands touching his shoulders, and turned around slowly to face him. They touched nervously, feeling all of each other. James kissed Lucius' cheek and then his lips, eliciting a quiet moan from Lucius. 

"You'll regret this. I'll regret this," Lucius muttered against James' mouth. 

"I won't."

"You always do," Lucius pointed out.

"I won't this time." And there was determination in James' voice.

James tried to kiss him again, but Lucius said, "What about the fact that you hate me?"

James frowned. "It never stopped us. And again, Malfoy, I have to say this. Since when do you have morals?"

Lucius could have easily been mad at the mention, but it was true, so there wasn't very much he could say. 

"What about my past?"

"Leave it out of this. Just like I'll leave mine."

"You don't know what I did when I was a Death Eater. If you think you hate me now, just wait until I tell you what I did."

"Dammit, Lucius!" James cursed. "Just relax, all right? Don't spoil this."

"Well, I have the right to spoil it since you did it so many times before!" Lucius said, upset. "Besides, we can't do much here. We have house-elves coming and going all the time, and what if Draco or Harry wake up and catch us in the act?"

James sighed, defeated. "You're right."

"And I really can't do anything with my mind on Voldemort. I'm worried that he will burst through that door at any moment. You might not be thinking clearly, but I am. This is insane."

"All right, all right!" James exclaimed, irritated. "Do you at least admit that you want me?"

Lucius looked the other way and muttered, "Yes, but that doesn't mean much."

"It means a lot to me," James said softly. Lucius gazed at him. "We don't have to do anything, Lucius. Just… kiss a little."

Lucius smirked. "Just like teenagers. How bloody romantic."

James silenced Lucius by giving him another kiss. Lucius kissed James back with the same intensity, if not more eagerly. They transfigured the couch into a bed and lay on it side by side. James didn't let Lucius talk anymore. Every time Lucius opened his mouth to speak, James shushed him with another kiss. They made out until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

TBC...


	12. Confessions

Disclaimer: Not mine… 

A/N: And the melodrama continues – soap-opera's style. You might say you hate it, but you just can't stop watching! CONFESS!!! *beams* 

Thanks to: Jamie, my beta, who still endures me; and to all of you who have patiently waited for this update. 

Chap. 12 – **CONFESSIONS**

It hurt so much. Lucius wasn't used to that feeling anymore. Was this how it felt to be in love? He couldn't remember ever feeling so much pain. But no, he wasn't in love. Not again. He had crushed that awful feeling a long time ago. James Potter didn't mean anything to him. Then again, why did he want to help Potter? Why did he shelter James in his cottage, his most precious sanctuary? Lucius sighed, frustrated, but mostly sad. The other night had been so surreal. He'd actually _made out with Potter on his couch like a teenager. He was losing his mind. And with Draco under the same roof as he was! What was he thinking? _

That was the problem. His ability to think was always forgotten when James was around. 

It was James' fault. He was behaving so weirdly. First he had pushed Lucius away, and then unexpectedly he had _seduced_ Lucius. And Lucius was only human, in spite of what everybody else thought – even himself. His heart beat just like a normal heart. He had feelings, even if his father had worked all his life to put an end to his soul, almost succeeding in his task.  

Why did everything have to end in the awful memories he had of his father? He should have cast a Memory Charm on himself many years ago. But he couldn't. His father was a constant reminder that the world was just a sick place to live in, that Lucius should always keep his guards up around his heart. 

He wished he could just go away with Draco; start a new life in a distant place. He wished life could give him a second chance. 

His eyes came across a sketch he had drawn many years ago, when he was only sixteen years old. Once upon a time, Lucius Malfoy had liked to draw, and he was particularly fond of drawing James Potter. That drawing was his favourite. It showed James in his Quidditch robes, smiling playfully as he gripped the Golden Snitch in his hand.

Given that Lucius was in his hidden office and there was no one watching him, he stroked the drawing gently. He leaned back on his chair, his eyes still gazing at the sketch, his mind lost in the past. He could clearly see the image of two boys in his head making love for the last time; James questioning him about the horrible scars on his back; Lucius avoiding him the best he could, because he couldn't tell the truth to anyone, ever. 

His hands began to shake a little, and he was shocked when his lips tasted something salty. A single tear had escaped from his eye without his permission. He touched the wet trail with the tip of his finger, perplexed. He hadn't shed a tear in a long time. He quickly wiped it away, annoyed. 

Potter deserved a painful death for making his soul bleed again. 

He shouldn't waste any more time with these silly memories. He had more important things to do, like talking to Severus, finding out if the path to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade was clear, and to start preparing the spell to call the idiot's soul back. 

He shoved James' sketch carelessly inside the drawer and rose from his chair. He climbed the steps to the living room, finding no one there. The cottage seemed abnormally quiet and empty. He wondered where their _guests_ were.

Things had been very weird since sunrise. Lupin and Black had behaved like they didn't know each other at all, which had made James very confused. James' friends had fled to Hogwarts first thing in the morning, even though Lupin kept trying to convince Black to rest a little longer. Black's coldness towards Lupin was a shock to everyone, even Lucius. 

Then Harry woke up, and the yelling had started. The raven-haired boy wasn't even recovered, and yet he had found strength to yell at James for hiding important things about his mother's past. But even James didn't know what to say to Harry when the boy had told him that Lily could be related to Voldemort. 

Lucius, who had been a silent spectator to the father and son discussion until that point, had been pulled away by Draco just when the conversation was getting interesting. So Lucius had gone to his hidden room, cursing Draco for becoming so bloody noble, and telling him to get out of his sight. 

Now Lucius regretted being so harsh with Draco, especially after everything his son had been through. But hadn't he always been harsh? Draco was used to it, right? Still, he'd looked so sad and hurt. Lucius should have been gentler to him, but he didn't know how. With Archibald Malfoy as a role model, what did people expect him to do? 

He found Draco and Harry whispering things to each other in his room, but James wasn't anywhere. His heart began to pound painfully in his chest. 

"Dobby!" he shouted. 

Dobby appeared, coming from the kitchen, his big nose raised up in the air. 

"Where's Potter?"

"Which one, sir?"

Lucius scowled. "You know bloody well. Where's James?" 

Dobby's ears fell a little. "He's outside, sir. I told him not to go there, but he didn't care."

Lucius clutched his fists furiously, making Dobby wince. He marched to the door, swearing about how he was surrounded by idiots, and how he wished he was very far away, on a distant island, drinking margaritas. He found James sitting on the porch with his eyes lost somewhere else. He wondered if James was drifting once again, and if his destiny was to look after him. 

"Potter?" 

James looked up, his eyes shining with tears. Lucius was surprised, but he tried not to let it show. He felt the urge to go to James and hug him, assuring him that everything would be all right, but that wasn't his style. He was a Malfoy, and Malfoys didn't melt just because of a few tears. 

"What are you doing here? You should be inside!" Lucius said angrily.

"Hogsmeade isn't in danger anymore. Voldemort and his crew went into hiding again," James muttered.

"How do you know?" 

James lifted a letter and tossed it to Lucius. Lucius scanned through it, frowning every now and then. 

"So, Dumbledore wants Draco and Harry to stay here for a few days," he said after he finished reading it.

James nodded.

"Oh, what a happy family reunion it will be, don't you think?" Lucius smirked.

"Shut up, Malfoy," James growled. 

"Ouch. What happened to _Luc? Yesterday you seemed nicer to me. Was it all a lie? Were you just toying with my feelings? Shame on you, Potter," Lucius sneered. "Of course, I'm glad I didn't take you seriously. I'm not that stupid, you know?"_

James stood up and took him by the collar, making Lucius gasp with surprise from the sudden aggression. 

"I said, shut up!" James bellowed. "I want to be alone, in case you haven't noticed. I know blondes are a little dense to get things, but you're even dumber than the usual lot! Leave me the hell alone!"

Lucius took James' hands away from him and twisted them on James' back, making the brunette protest. Lucius moved his mouth towards James' right ear and whispered threateningly, "You should be more careful, Potter. I'm not the _typical_ _dense_ blond. I'm a Malfoy, don't forget that! I know dark spells you haven't even heard about. So don't fuck with me."

He pushed James away and turned to enter the cottage, but James' next words paralysed him.

"I'm sorry," muttered James softly. "I don't know why I act so irrationally sometimes. Please, stay."

"You said you wanted to be alone."

"And _now you'll obey me?" James replied, upset._

Lucius counted to ten to calm down and not hit James' pretty face. "You're really annoying, Potter." James took Lucius' hand in his and squeezed it. Lucius raised an eyebrow. "And you're unquestionably the strangest person I've ever met. I don't know what I was thinking when I..." _fell in love with someone like you._

"When what?"

Lucius shook his head, annoyed. "Nothing." He tried to take his hand away, but James grip got even tighter. 

"I want you to stay," James said.

"What for?"

"So you can tell me what I have to do to be a good father."

Lucius held the urge to laugh madly. "You're asking _me_?" James nodded, and Lucius sniggered. "If there was an award for worst father of the year, I'd win with merits. I have no idea what it takes to be a father. If I knew, Draco wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

"But Draco loves you, right? I can see how much he cares for you."

Lucius flinched imperceptibly. "I don't know about that, but if you're implying that Harry doesn't love you, you couldn't be more wrong." Lucius tried to remove his hand when James loosened up its grip a little bit, but James held it firmly in place when he noticed that Lucius' hand was slipping away. He sighed, annoyed.

 "He hates me. You heard the way he talked to me, the way he accused me of lying to him," James said sadly. 

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. He was just saying those things. He didn't really mean them. Kids are just ungrateful brats. We try our best for them, and they throw all of our effort in our faces. Harry will realise that he's being unfair to you. After all, you've been his father for what? Four months? He forgets that you were dead not so long ago. Or so everybody thought. He should be a little more grateful to have you here, by his side. And I don't really know why he's so angry about being the Dark Lord's grandson, anyway. It's actually cool. He's a Slytherin!"

James made a face. Only Lucius would come up with that. 

"You shouldn't worry so much," Lucius went on, absently. "Give him a few hours and he'll be pleading for your forgiveness. Who wouldn't want to have a father like you? So you're a little screwed up in the head, but he should be grateful that you're alive in the first place. He should worship the floor you walk on! It's kind of a Gryffindor thing, isn't it?" James looked at Lucius incredulously. "Bloody hell! I don't really know what he will do, all right? I never understood Draco. I'm a lousy father... You shouldn't ask me these things."

James smiled feebly. "You care for Draco, even if you don't show it. You just have this twisted way of caring for him, but it's there. I suppose that you're like that because of your father. He was a cruel man. You didn't have anyone to guide you."

"Hey, we're not analysing me!" Lucius protested. "We're talking about you and Harry." Again, Lucius tried to disentangle his hand from James' without any success. He growled, wondering what was James thinking when he took his hand in his like they were _close. "Just tell him that you love him. That should work, right? Gryffindors are simple like that. Then all this drama can stop. Did you see me freaking out with Draco? No."_

"You don't freak out because you're afraid of letting out your real feelings," James stated.

Lucius snorted. "Preposterous!" 

"You know it's true. You avoid confrontations because you're afraid of losing control and exposing yourself. I know your game, Lucius. I know you very well. And stop moving your hand! I won't let go!" James berated him, upset.

That did it for Lucius. "Stop talking nonsense! First of all, I don't know why you're holding my hand! We're not a couple! Secondly, if you knew so much about me, you would know that…" Lucius closed his mouth instantly.

"You've got to stop doing that," James complained. "Just finish the bloody sentence!"

Lucius felt his anger rising to dangerous levels. He didn't like to feel so emotional. He had the tendency to do the stupidest things when he was furious. His come back was at the tip of his tongue, ready to come out, and he tried very hard to hold it back. But the words emerged without any control, and they didn't come out exactly the way he expected, "You would know that I cared for you, that all I wanted was for you to be with me. One word would have been enough to make me join you, to fight by your side. But you didn't care. You left me to deal with my father alone; to face his cruel punishments for betraying him."

"Luc…" James' eyes flickered with shock. "What are you saying?"

Lucius had no idea why, but now that he had started, he didn't want to stop. "That night that you left promising to come back… Well, you didn't. But my father discovered where I was, and he knew... I'm not sure how... that I had been feeding Dumbledore with information about him and Lord Voldemort. He said to me he wouldn't tell Lord Voldemort about it because he wanted to be the one to punish me, and he would punish me in a way I would never forget." Lucius looked down. "He was right about that. I'll certainly never forget… The lashes on my back… You remember then, right? You asked me about them. And to think that even after what he did to me I still trusted you…"

"Luc, I had no idea…" A tear escaped from James' eyes, and Lucius' free hand wiped it away. 

"What? Is that for me? Don't cry for me, James. I already did that enough for a lifetime."

_'His father… has been abusing him for years, Albus.'_

"Did he…" James was afraid of asking his worst fear, but he had to. "Did he… do anything else to you?"

Lucius wished he hadn't understood what James was talking about, but he knew very well what James wanted to know.  He wanted to know if his father had been cruel enough to rape his own son. Lucius held the urge to look away. He couldn't show weakness, no matter how painful his memories were. He wouldn't succumb. He was too ashamed of it. It was the most horrible stain in his life, but he would hold his chin high. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," Lucius muttered coldly.

"Of course it does!" James objected. "There were rumours, but no one really knew if they were true or not. If they knew…"

Lucius smiled bitterly. "They wouldn't have done anything, Potter. Not against my father."

"Then it was true! Your own father… touched you…" James felt sick. "Oh, God! I'm so sorry. A lot of things make sense now. How you were always so defensive, how you said to me that you'd never known about how good sex could be… How you winced every time I touched you… He abused you for years…Since when? Since you were little? Why Lucius? Why didn't you cry for help? Why didn't you tell me?" 

Seeing James' expression made Lucius suddenly very aware of every humiliation he had suffered in the past, and his defences began to collapse, one by one. He hated to see the pity in James' eyes. He didn't want it. He was done with that stage of his life. He didn't want to remember it all over again. He didn't want to go back to being that scared and cowardly boy that had cried in the darkness of the Manor's dungeons many times. James couldn't do that to him.

He began to panic, and he tried to pull away from James desperately. 

"Let me go!" he bellowed. 

"No! Please, Luc, let me help you! You need to talk about this! You have to, or else you'll never have peace in your life."

"NO!" Lucius fought for freedom as if his life depended on it. "DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS TO ME!"

"You're right, I don't," James said gently. "But I could have helped you and I didn't. I didn't know, Lucius! If only you had told me the truth. If only you had been honest with me. I'm tired of so many lies between us. I don't want this anymore." James finally let the tears ran down his cheek freely. Lucius stopped struggling, his eyes also full of tears, and James stroked his face tenderly. "I was too much of a coward in the past. I was afraid of what I felt for you, because it was too strong. I couldn't handle it by myself. But I'm not afraid now. I should have told you a long time ago what I'm about to tell you." Lucius held his breath as James whispered against his mouth, "I love you. The night Voldemort broke in to my house I was going to look for you, to ask you to be with me, but he destroyed everything."

Lucius' heart ceased its beating entirely. How many days and nights had he wished to hear just that? Now that he had heard it, he felt even more hurt than before. It wasn't fair, he told himself. It wasn't supposed to be that way. He knelt down on the floor, his body too weak to keep standing. James knelt down in front of him. Their eyes never left one another. James held him carefully and protectively, and it was then that Lucius decided to stop resisting. He forgot that he was a Malfoy and that he should always be cold and in control of himself. He hugged James with all his might, his heart pounding against his chest. 

No one had ever loved him. No one had ever said those words to him. He closed his eyes and let himself go. For the first time in years he allowed himself to cry. He broke down in James' arms like he was sixteen again. His strangled cries made his body tremble uncontrollably. He wished to stop, but he had no control at all over the reactions of his body. And then the asthma attacked him, making him out of breath. The air in his lungs was missing, and he felt like the oxygen was draining out of him. 

"Luc!" James shouted.

Lucius gripped James' hand and guided it to his pocket, finding a small device in there that James recognised as Lucius' medicine. 

"J-Jimmy…"

"It's all right. Everything is going to be all right," James muttered repeatedly as he helped Lucius take the medicine. James sat on the floor with Lucius leaning against his back. He wrapped his arms around Lucius and held him. One of his hands touched Lucius' heart, and he whispered, "Just breathe. Think about the air coming in and just relax. Yes, that's it… You're doing great." Lucius' hand squeezing his, and he stroked the delicate fingers softly. "I'm here, Luc. I'm not going anywhere." He kissed the top of Lucius' head.

Their hearts began to beat normally in unison. Lucius sighed in relief as he felt his breath steady. James held him tightly, and Lucius didn't remember feeling so safe in his entire life. He knew it was wrong to surrender just like that, but he was too weak to protest. He was emotionally drained, and if James wanted to take care of him, so be it. The truth was that he wanted to be taken care of.

He'd waited so long for this. He was afraid to pinch himself and realise that it was all a dream. But it was very real. James' warm body behind him was the proof of that. He was afraid that James was just playing with him, but still he didn't move away. He was very comfortable in James' arms. It was like he belonged in there. 

And so Lucius did the unthinkable. In a whispered voice, he told James about the violence he and his brother had suffered from their own father, about how they had been forced to hate instead of love. Caesar had been a lot tougher, though, and because of that he had been killed. Lucius had lost his mind after his brother's death, and at the sight of Caesar's broken body, he'd murdered his father without any pity. He still didn't know how he had done it. That day was a blur in his memories. One thing he knew for sure was that he had also done it to protect Draco. He had seen the lust and desire to destroy in his father's eyes every time he looked at Draco, and Lucius couldn't allow Archibald to hurt Draco the same way he had done it with Lucius and Caesar. 

He told James how afraid he was that he would turn out to be just like his father; how he had purposely stayed away from Draco so Lucius would never have the same violent e sick impulses as Archibald. Lucius shed more tears after that, especially when James comforted him. 

"You're not your father," James whispered, stroking Lucius' hair.

"I am. Look at what I've done to Draco… I wanted him to become just like me, and for what? I wanted him to join the Dark Lord even though I knew he didn't want to. I wanted him to bury his heart, just like I did. No, I'd never do to Draco what my father did to me physically, but mentally… I made him suffer. I'm a monster. Father must be so proud of me. He must be smiling at me in hell," Lucius smirked between his tears. 

"Don't be so harsh on yourself. So, you were a little… cold and unfair. But you're nothing like Archibald."

"You know nothing about me, James. You don't know half of the things I did for my father and for the Dark Lord."

"What did you do?" James asked, afraid of the answers.

"Do you know what I'm good at? I'm good at blackmailing people. My father taught me how to do it when I was very little. He said: 'This is your job, don't forget that'. So that's my profession." Lucius smiled bitterly. "I'm a blackmailer. The worst thing of all is that I'm _very_ good at it. I even got Dumbledore out of Hogwarts once just with the use of my vicious persuasion. That's how I raise money for Voldemort, too. I'm responsible for it. Or at least I was… I don't know who's in charge now." 

"What you did… Well, it does matter. But I guess… At least you weren't a killer."

"I _am a killer, Potter. I killed my own father! I killed Goyle not so long ago."_

"Because they hurt you pretty bad. I would have killed your father had he been alive today."

James' firm voice took Lucius by surprise.                                 

"What you did in your past doesn't matter anymore. You're here. You betrayed Voldemort to save me."

"I'm not an angel, Potter. I have too many sins in my life. I'll certainly rot in hell."

"But if you regret your sins, you'll be forgiven. It's not too late for you, Luc. It's not too late for us." 

Lucius held his breath. "Do you really mean that? Did you really say that…?"

"That I love you? Yes, I did. It took me almost twenty years to realise that, but better late than never…"

Lucius snorted. "I don't believe you. You're famous for changing your mind every five seconds."

"I'm serious!" James replied. "I might be a little thick and slow to get things when it comes to love, but once I do, I don't just change my mind, and you know it!"

"Why do you love me?"                                    

"Do I need a reason?" James asked back, annoyed.

"Considering that you hated me I think my question is very appropriate."

"I just do. I… I've loved you since I first met you. I've loved you since you stood up for me when we were seven."

"Don't push it, Potter. You loved me since you were seven? Please…" 

"I'm telling you the truth!"

"Took you long enough to figure out your feelings, wouldn't you say?"

"I… My father wasn't like yours, but he had high expectations from me. I was afraid of his reaction if he found out about us. He wouldn't have understood it. You weren't just a Malfoy, but a boy as well. My father was a fair man, but he was very inflexible about a lot of things. I was afraid of disappointing him. I was weak and immature…"

"And human…" Lucius said quietly.

"So you understand."

"Yes," Lucius whispered. "But it doesn't hurt any less."

"I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. What matters now is to find a cure to Draco's problem and get your soul back. I think that we'll be able to perform the incantation in a week. It won't be easy, but I'll try my best. And I must warn you for the side effects. You'll feel sick for a few days afterwards. Your soul will need some time to adjust to you again. But I'm optimistic."

"Is this dangerous?"

"What isn't?"

"I'm serious, Lucius!"

"So am I. It _is dangerous, Potter, but besides blackmailing, I'm very good with incantations, too."_

"Now that you mention incantations and Draco's problem, I was thinking… Something isn't right with Draco."

Lucius frowned. "Of course something is not right! And I'm the blond here…"

James made a face. "Would you let me finish? What I meant was that I don't think Draco is poisoned. Well, not exactly."

Lucius pulled away from James instantly and stared at him. "What are you saying?"

"I was very good at Potions, remember?" 

Lucius nodded. He did remember. It was actually very irritating. 

"What's your point?" Lucius asked. 

"_Amarulentus is quite an ancient poison. It doesn't even appear in the newer books. I mean, it didn't appear in any of _our_ books, and that was a long time ago! But it was just yesterday that the reason for this absence hit me. I don't think Snape realised it yet, but of course, I was always better than him in Potions. That's one of his reasons for hating me so much…"_

"Potter, I _know why Severus hates you so much!" Lucius said angrily. "I'm more interested in knowing what the hell you found out about _Amarulentus_!"_

James crossed his arms. "You're hopeless, aren't you? You're back to the nasty mode already. I wonder what happened to the soft Lucius."

"There is no _soft Lucius!" Lucius retorted, outraged. "And stop fooling around, Potter, and just go straight to the point!"_

"All right! The reason why _Amarulentus is not added in potions' books anymore is because one of its major ingredients doesn't exist anymore. The poison was named _Amarulentus_ because of Amarula, a delicate blue flower that blossomed in Norway, but that was extinct in 1700. So, as you can see, it isn't possible that Draco is poisoned with _Amarulentus_, because technically, it doesn't exist! It can't be made!"_

Lucius was shocked. "How… Are you sure about this? I mean, you're memory is still unstable, Potter."

"I know. But this time I'm sure."

"But then… We have nothing! We don't know what Draco has!" Lucius began to panic again. 

"I think I can find out."

Lucius frowned. "How?"

"I need to talk to Draco so he can tell me exactly what his symptoms are."

"But if Severus didn't find out, Potter, what makes you think _you_ will?"

"I'm better than Severus, and you know it!" 

"This isn't time for an ego fight, Potter! We're talking about my son!" Lucius exclaimed, upset.

"It's not about my ego! I _am better than Severus! I can do this, Lucius! Just let me talk to Draco."_

"I don't know. You should talk to Severus first."

"You trust him more than you trust me?" James asked, fuming. 

"That's such a stupid question," Lucius smirked. "I trust no one. But since Severus was the one taking care of it from the beginning, I think you should talk to him as well."

James nodded, even though he was feeling upset. "Ok. I'll talk to the git." 

"What are we waiting for?"

Lucius stood up, and James was surprised to see how fast he had recovered from his nervous breakdown. 

"You're amazing," James said.

"Took you long enough to figure that out, too, genius."

James stuck his tongue out at Lucius. "Just shut up and help me get up."

Lucius stretched out his hand for James to catch it. When they were both standing face to face, James thanked him. 

"No. Thank you," Lucius said seriously. 

Their eyes locked, and James kissed Lucius on the lips softly. "I think life _has_ given us a second chance, and I won't waste it," James stated.

Lucius nodded emotionally. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He still had many wounds to heal. But for once in his life he allowed himself to hope. He stroked James' face with his fingertips, his heart filling up with love. It was very difficult for him to remain cold. His breakdown had exhausted all his energy. He wouldn't fight James and what he made him feel. He would just let himself get carried away.

But since time was precious and he wanted to talk to Severus as soon as possible, he walked to the door of the cottage and was shocked to see Draco at the entry with tears in his eyes. The silver-blue eyes that resembled so much of his own were flickering with sadness, and his rosy lips were pallid and trembling. Lucius saw how much Draco was trying to hold back his emotions, and he never felt such an urge to hold his son in his arms.

"Draco?" Lucius called to him quietly, trying desperately not to panic again and have yet another asthma attack. 

"Father..." Draco's eyes shimmered emotionally. "I... I didn't know... I'm... so sorry..."

"Did you hear… everything?" Lucius asked, astonished.

"Y-yes. I-I'm sorry." Draco looked down, and Lucius saw the tears cascading down his eyes.

Lucius panicked. He had never been a real father. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Usually he would yell at Draco for snooping on a personal conversation, but he couldn't do that when Draco looked so lost and depressed. Lucius felt James' eyes on his back, demanding him to say something, anything. Before Lucius could say a word, though, Draco ran to his arms, hugging him tightly.

Lucius' eyes flinched. He slowly cuddled Draco, his emotions running wildly. His eyes filled with tears again, but this time he refused to let them fall. Draco needed him; he would try his best not to disappoint him. After all those years of indifference and coldness, it was the least he could do for his only son. 

"I'm the one who's sorry, Draco," he whispered, taking himself by surprise. 

Draco looked up to face him. "You don't have to..."

"Of course I do! I've screwed things up all of my life, but I won't screw up this time." Lucius stroked Draco's face softly. "I'm sorry, Draco. You know… You know I can't be any different. You know that in a minute I'll return to my old self again, and I'll behave as nasty as ever. But I promise you I'll make it up for everything I've ever done to you. I promise that from this moment on I'll protect you with my life. And I'll find a cure for you even if it kills me."

There was such a powerful emotion in Lucius' voice that it made Draco cried, for he had never seen his father being so gentle to him. Draco had waited for that moment his entire life. He knew his father wasn't as bad as people thought he was, and there was the proof of it. He wanted to say so many things, but his sobs were making him mute and irritated with himself. He hated to be so emotional. If he didn't stop crying, Lucius would soon be very pissed off with him. Draco didn't want to spoil things between them, but he couldn't stop. 

"S-Sorry…" Draco stuttered. "I… I can't…"

"Shhh… It's all right."

Lucius saw in Draco's eyes the struggle to keep his feelings together, to regain his Malfoy posture, and he felt pity for his son. Surprising everyone, he took Draco in his arms and led him into the cottage; Harry and James watched them walking away. Draco had buried his head in Lucius' shoulder, and they could hear him sobbing as they vanished from their sight.  

James and Harry glanced at each other and quickly looked away, embarrassed. Harry tried to understand what had just happened. He was glad for Draco. He knew how much Draco had waited for that moment. He could see in Draco's eyes how much he praised Lucius, how much he wanted to be loved by him. But a part of him was terribly jealous of what he had just witnessed. All Harry and James did was fight ever since they'd first met. If Lucius and Draco could share a moment together, then why couldn't he and James? 

_'And to think that they are **Malfoys**!'_ Harry thought, stunned. '_The world is certainly upside down.' _

"Isn't it funny that _they_ have worked things out and we haven't?" Harry said, staring at James questioningly. 

James made a face. He too was jealous of the touching scene displayed between Lucius and Draco. 

"Life is like this," James said. "It's kind of ironic if you think about it…"

"Yeah, definitely." They remained in silence for a moment, and then Harry asked, "Do you really love _him_?"

James flushed slightly. He was never comfortable around Harry, but to talk to him about Lucius made things even worse. 

"I…" He sighed. What was the point of denying it? Harry had heard everything already. "I do."

"What about my mother?"

James looked into Harry's eyes and saw a mix of curiosity and hostility in them. "It's rather complicated."

"Then explain it to me."                   

James looked away. "I… I've known Lucius since I was a kid. I've always had this fascination with him, but I was too young to know what I was feeling. It was just when we were in Hogwarts that I started to look at him with more than just… interest. He was so beautiful, so charming… and so bloody conceited and mean. But I fell in love with him, anyway." James leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets, and his eyes got lost in the past. "Like I said to Lucius, I was afraid. Your grandfather was a great man, Harry, but he sort of planned out my entire life without asking me. He had big plans for me, and Lucius wasn't in them. So I let myself believe that what I felt for Lucius was just wrong and it would go away the moment I got married. I loved Lily very much, enough to kid myself. Don't get me wrong, please. Your mother was very important to me, and I never meant to hurt her, but I wasn't in love with her. She knew it; she had her own wounds to heal by marrying with me. You see, Lily and I were best friends. She knew me like no one else did, not even Sirius. She saw right through me. She was the one who convinced me to go after Lucius, to confess to him how I felt. Lily loved someone else, too."

Harry held his breath, taken aback. "Who?"

James looked at Harry and said, "Snape."

"Snape?" Harry's world collapsed. "She was in love with _Snape_?"

"Yes, and I think he loved her, too. I don't know for sure. Snape isn't an easy fellow to read, is he? But Lily was so easy to fall in love with. Snape is very strange, though. He never told her how he felt, and Lily used to say that he didn't feel the same way about her."

Harry bit his lip, trembling slightly. "So, everything I've believed all these years about you and her… it's all a lie…" 

"No, Harry!" James walked towards Harry, stopping just a few inches away from him. "Perhaps I'm not who you thought I was. I know I've disappointed you. But your mother was always true to herself, and she was a great woman."

"But she joined Voldemort!" 

James sighed sadly. "That's not true. He tricked her. He made her believe that he was just misunderstood, that he needed her help to change. She believed that he was her father. Lily was the kind of person who wanted to change the world. She believed that everyone had a good side, even someone like Voldemort. And if he really was her father, than she couldn't just turn her back on him. That was why she joined him. But the moment she realised that he wouldn't change, she turned against him."

"She wasn't evil?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"NO! Of course not!" James said immediately. "Lily was the sweetest girl in the world! She was the type of girl who wanted to help everyone, even those who didn't deserve it. She was naïve, but that was her charm. Well, that and her long red-hair." James smiled feebly, and then he gripped Harry's shoulder. "Don't let that monster get you, Harry. Don't let him poison you against her. She doesn't deserve it. She died protecting you. She didn't want _him_ to lay his hands on you."

Harry felt relieved at hearing those words. Draco had told him to understand his mother's reason for joining a man like Voldemort, and there it was. Lily had only wanted to help him, and he had taken advantage of her kindness. Harry clutched his fists angrily. Even if he was related to Voldemort, he would still make him pay for what he did. 

"He won't lay his hands on me. I won't let him. And I won't let him control me," Harry stated firmly. 

James looked at his son proudly. 

"It doesn't matter that he's my grandfather, right?" Harry asked him, a hint of desperation in his words. "He's not even human anymore. He's… He was never human. And… and… just because we're related, it doesn't mean I'll turn out to be just like him! Dumbledore told me once that our _choices_ show us who we truly are (A/N: pg. 333, American version of CoS). I chose to be against him. I'm choosing to fight him. I'm not like him."

James stroked Harry's hair and held him tightly. "We never really found out if Voldemort was Lily's father or not. But even if he is, Harry, don't forget that you are a Gryffindor, too! You're not him. You're Harry Potter. Keep that in mind always."

Harry laid his head on James' shoulder, and let himself be comforted by him. He didn't cry, though, no matter how much he wanted to. He should be strong. There was no time for tears anymore, no time for dramas. He shut his eyes tightly, making an effort not to breakdown like Draco. Draco deserved a moment of peace with Lucius, but Harry couldn't afford to lose his mind.

James cupped Harry's face in his hands. "Look at me, Harry." Harry did, his green eyes looking brighter than usual. "You're so brave." They smiled at each other. "Please, forgive me if I don't know how to be a father. I think I'll learn in time. I never thought Lucius would be a better father than me!"

Harry chuckled. "He isn't. I think that was the first time he ever held Draco. No wonder Draco broke down like that. But Malfoy was right about something. I should be grateful that you're here. We didn't have time to get to know each other yet, but we will. No more secrets, all right?"

James nodded. "Ok. Although, it's not easy for me, Harry. If I don't tell you things is only because I'm trying to protect you."

"Don't. Secrets will only break us apart. Voldemort uses them to his own sick purposes. If you had told me about my mother, I wouldn't have been so unprepared, so defenceless."

"I know." James sat down on a chair with Harry next to him. "I'm sorry. Are you feeling ok now? Is your head hurting?"

"No. I'm fine. I'm just a little tired." Harry and James took a deep breath at the same time. They smiled. "I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning. Draco told me I was being irrational, that I wasn't even listening to your explanations."

"You really like Draco, don't you?"

Harry beamed. "Yes. I love him. I won't even make fun of him for crying like that."

James laughed. "I won't make the same promise about Lucius."

"I can't believe you asked him for advice about me."

"Hey! Don't you know it is rude to listen in on other people's conversation?" James scolded.

"I didn't want to! It was Draco who insisted for us to listen behind the door… It's a Malfoy thing…"

James frowned. "I bet you didn't tell him otherwise, did you?"

Harry flushed. "Nope." 

"Well, I guess it was better this way." James looked suddenly serious. "I was thinking… We should visit your mother's grave. Have you ever been there?"

"No." And Harry wondered why he hadn't asked anyone to take him there before. "I don't even know where she is buried."

"We'll go, then. I'll talk to Dumbledore."

"How long are we staying here?"

"I don't know. A week or two, perhaps. Are you in a hurry to leave? I thought you wanted us to know each other better." 

Harry saw the insecurity in James' eyes, and the struggle he was going through not to show it. He smiled, happy to know that his father wanted his company so much.

"I do," Harry said. "It'll be great to spend some time with you. And dad…" Harry paused and James held his breath in expectation. "I don't hate you."

James smiled again, his heart filling up with happiness. 

---------------------------

Draco entered the bathroom and threw water on his face so he could stop the stupid tears from falling. He was very upset for making such a scene in front of Harry and James. But nothing was worse than showing so many traces of weakness in front of his father. Lucius was still treating him weirdly nice, but Draco had no illusions that his father's sudden kindness to him would last for too long. He was afraid of going back to his father's room again. He knew Lucius would soon start to yell at him for crying like a baby. 

Still, he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop thinking about how much his father must have been hurt by his grandfather. Now he knew the truth behind his Uncle's death, and why his father was like that. Draco felt like throwing up. How could Archibald do such a thing with his own children? How could he touch his children like that? 

He fell down on his knees, his body shaking as he hugged himself. And to think that Archibald had intended to do with Draco the same thing he had done to Lucius and Caesar. Draco felt sick to his stomach, and he ran to the toilet and threw up. 

It was bad enough that he was sick, and now he didn't even know what he had. He was tired of everything. He just wanted to lie down and sleep forever. 

He heard a knock on the door and he cried harder. He hated himself for being so fragile. 

"Draco! Open the door!" Lucius demanded with his harsh tone of voice. Draco smiled bitterly. There he was. 

The door flew open and Lucius came in. 

"Draco…" Draco didn't look up. "Stop crying and look at me."

Draco shook his head and Lucius knelt down beside him, taking him in his arms and leading him back into the room. 

"I never thought you'd had such a breakdown if you knew the truth…" Lucius said, lying Draco on the bed. 

Draco looked the other way, refusing to see the disgust in his father's eyes. Lucius took Draco's chin between his thumb and forefinger and stared into his red, swollen eyes. Draco was surprised to see only kindness in his father's blue eyes. 

"Don't be a sissy, Draco. I'm fine now," said Lucius coldly, contradicting his eyes. 

"I'm sorry…"

"Well, you only have to feel sorry for being so bloody stupid and going to Hogsmeade yesterday."

Draco swallowed hard before asking, "Why did he do those things to you? Why did he hurt you so much?"

Lucius flinched. He knew exactly who Draco was referring to, but it wasn't easy for him to talk about.

 "I don't know. He enjoyed being the way he was. He enjoyed every torturous thing he inflicted on me and Caesar. He was just a sick bastard. I… You don't have to know about it, Draco. Just… Just rest, ok? You must be feeling awful. I heard you throwing up."

"I'm all right." But he was lying and Lucius knew it. Draco was even paler than usual. Lucius stroked Draco's face tenderly, and Draco's eyes flickered. 

"You know… that I'd never do that to you, right? I wasn't always fair to you, but I'd never do to you what my father did to me. You know that, don't you?" Lucius asked, needing that answer as if his life depended on it. 

Draco placed his hand on Lucius' and said, "I know."

"Good." Lucius stood up quickly before he started to cry again, ruining his reputation forever. "Just… rest."

"Father?" Draco called him softly.  

"Yes?"

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"Of course not," Lucius answered, upset. "Don't be silly. I didn't raise you to breakdown like this."

"I… love you," Draco whispered, making Lucius' heartbeat stop. "I just wanted you to know."

There they were again: tears. Stupid, icy tears, threatening to fall down his cheeks like a flood. Lucius gulped, took a deep breath and just nodded. He knew Draco wanted to hear the same thing from his lips, but Lucius had enough for a day. Still, it was so amazing the way his heart seemed suddenly so alive again, just listening to his son's words. Draco loved him. He didn't hate him for treating him so badly all those years. That was a miracle, the best gift he could ever receive. If only Narcissa could see them… she wouldn't believe her eyes. 

"And father?" Draco called him again.

"What?"

"Could you… stay here?"

He smiled feebly – the first honest smile in years – and nodded. It was the least he could do.

------------------------

Sirius was avoiding him and every time his eyes looked away from his, Remus' heart bled. He knew there was a risk that Sirius would do that to him, but the knowledge didn't diminish the pain he was feeling. He had had the most amazing night of his life with Sirius. They had made love in such a beautiful way. But what was left of it? 

_'Only excruciating pain,'_ Remus thought sadly. 

Sirius had lied to him. He said he wouldn't hate Remus, but he did. Remus wouldn't give up just like that. No. They would talk even if Remus had to put a binding spell on him. After the Order's meeting was over, Remus followed Sirius to his room.

"Sirius!" he called up.

Sirius stopped, but he seemed quite annoyed by Remus' presence. 

"You're running away from me," Remus said, hurt.

"I'm not!" Sirius objected. "There's too much going on right now. We don't have time to lose with…"

"Me?" Remus suggested bitterly.

"Lupin…"

"_Lupin_? Did you just call me Lupin?" Remus was shocked. "I can't believe you, Sirius!"

Sirius sighed, irritated. "We don't have time for this."

"And when will we have time? We have to talk about what happened last night!"

Sirius' eyes flickered. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Do you even remember what happened?" Remus asked, outraged. 

Sirius moved his hands nervously. "Yes. But… Now is not the time." 

Remus had never been so hurt in his entire life. Sirius couldn't treat him like that. They were best friends after all. He felt his anger rising, matching the werewolf's. He caught Sirius by his sleeve and they came face to face. Sirius didn't do a thing; he just stared at him with a shadow in his eyes that Remus couldn't define.

"Why are you doing this? You said to me that nothing would change!" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius looked down. "You don't understand."

"Make me!" Remus demanded. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Please, Remus, not now."

Remus took him by the collar to make him see how irrational he was being, and that was the trigger that made Sirius snap. Sirius took Remus' hands off him and shoved him against the wall. 

"You don't get it, do you?" Sirius seemed very disturbed. "I'm with _Narcissa_! Don't you realise what I did?"

"You should have thought of her before!"

"Yes, I know that!" Sirius shouted. "But I was delirious! I didn't know what I was doing, but you did!"

Remus' eyes flickered. "Don't blame this all on me!" 

"You knew what you were doing. You knew I wasn't well!" Sirius accused. 

"It was you who told me to throw caution out the window!"

"I'm a lunatic! Since when do you do as I say?" 

Remus had never felt so lost. He'd never seen Sirius looking at him like that, like he hated him. He shook his head. It wasn't only his fault, was it? No. His only sin was loving too much, and being too naïve by thinking that everything would be all right between them. Nothing would be all right anymore. Things would never be the same again. He had jeopardized their friendship over a silly dream. 

He felt out of breath, and then he smiled bitterly, taking Sirius by surprise.

"I should've known…" Remus muttered to himself. 

"Remus…" 

Remus shook his head. "You're right, it was my fault. I was misled by my stupid need to be loved by you, but I was only kidding myself." 

Sirius stopped breathing. "Why did you want to be loved by me?"

Remus laughed sullenly. "How can someone so smart like you be so blind?" 

"I… What are you saying?" Sirius asked, confused.

"Go back to her, Sirius, and leave me alone."

It was Remus' turn to walk away. Sirius tried to stop him, but Remus pulled away from him fast. 

"Don't touch me!" Remus shouted aggressively. "Don't you ever touch me again."

Remus left Sirius in the middle of the corridor, more confused and lost than ever. Sirius slid down the wall. He didn't want to shout with Remus or be cold to him, but he didn't know what to do. The previous night was just magical. But then the morning came, and guilt fell upon him. He loved Narcissa, but his heart had never been so confused in his whole life. He knew he loved Remus as well, and not just as a friend. He wished he could go after Remus, to beg for his forgiveness, but he couldn't move. He was paralysed by fear. Remus and Narcissa were mingling in his heart.

"Remus… Please, forgive me," he whispered, a single tear falling down.

-----------------------

Remus sat down on his bed, wishing he could die. He knew now what his mother had meant when she told him to be careful with what he wished for. He was feeling numb. He had no desire to cry, to talk, to eat or sleep. He just wished he could go back in time and stop himself from doing the most stupid thing of his life. 

He felt a hand caressing his shoulder and he jumped from fright. It was Alex, staring at him with a weird look on his face. Remus didn't like his expression at all. Alex had never looked so dangerous. 

"How did you get in?" Remus asked.

"Does it matter?" Alex got closer, and Remus took a step back. "You need me."

"I…"

"He hurt you, and now you need me. I don't care if you slept with Black, as long as you come back to me."

Remus' heart beat faster. "How do you know about that?"

"I can smell him on you. But I forgive you." Alex closed the distance between them and took Remus' hand in his. "I can make the pain go away, Remus. No one understands you more than I do. He will never understand you like I do. We're the same. To be honest with you, I never felt like this before, for anyone. You're so sweet, so naïve." Alex smiled, and his dark expression vanished. "I really like you. I won't hurt you like he did."

"Alex…" Remus was at a loss for words.

Alex kissed him hard on the lips. After last night, Remus didn't want Alex to touch him. It felt wrong in so many ways, like his body was now property of Sirius Black. But as he felt Alex' lips on his, he was possessed by the usual werewolf hunger that always came on to him when they were together. He couldn't control his need, and after the way Sirius had treated him, he didn't want to resist Alex. 

Alex ripped his clothes apart, and Remus felt intoxicated, like he was under the influence of a strong spell. He sighed and moaned as Alex's tongue invaded his mouth. 

"Alex…"

"Forget about him, Remus, and just surrender to me," Alex whispered in his ear. 

Remus didn't understand anything anymore. He loved Sirius, but he couldn't resist Alex. At least Alex liked him, and he was there, at his disposal. Remus kissed Alex, trying desperately to forget about Sirius. 

"I'll mark you as mine, Remus Lupin. You won't smell of him ever again," Alex muttered.

Remus caught a dangerous glimpse in Alex's eyes, but he soon forgot about it as Alex made him go wild. 

------------------------

The Sanskrit cottage was completely silent when Harry entered the small kitchen to get a glass of water. He took a step forward and froze as he saw a silhouette sitting by the table. To his surprise, it was Draco, slowly licking a spoon full of chocolate ice-cream. Harry seemed to become hypnotised by the swirls of Draco's rosy tongue on the spoon, and little Harry twitched in anticipation. He moaned involuntarily, making Draco stop the sexy act and look up to face him. 

Their eyes met, and Draco quickly looked away. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Harry was taken aback by the defensive tone of voice, and he replied, "I was thirsty, your Majesty. I didn't know I needed your permission to come here." Draco made a face. Harry went on, "What about you? What's your excuse for having ice-cream at three in the morning?"

"Do I need _your_ permission?" Draco asked softly.

Harry grimaced. "I wish." He drank a glass of water and sat down by Draco's side. "Did you wake up in a bad mood or have you suddenly realised you don't want to be with me anymore?"

Draco sighed, burying his spoon in the ice-cream. He mumbled something Harry didn't understand. 

"What did you say?" Harry asked, coming closer.

"I said that I don't want you to make fun of me for my… nervous breakdown," Draco muttered, upset.

Harry dared to laugh, and Draco held the urge to drop his cup of ice-cream on the top of Harry's head.

"Sorry," Harry said as he chuckled softly. "I swear I wasn't laughing at you… Well, not really. I mean…"

"I got it, Potter," Draco said coldly. 

"No! I mean, it's just that you looked so fragile this afternoon, and now you look like your old self again. It's kind of funny." Draco shot Harry an angry look and Harry said, "All right, it's not funny. In fact, when I look at you I feel no desire whatsoever to laugh." Draco rolled his eyes. "I just want to kiss you, and hold you, and protect you…" Draco raised an eyebrow. "It's really sexy to watch you licking your spoon like that."

"All right, just stop it. It's getting ridiculous."

"I'm serious! You're skilful with a spoon full of ice-cream. Actually, little Harry was quite glad for the sudden erotic display," Harry said playfully.

Draco smiled involuntarily. "You're so stupid, Harry."

Harry smiled back at him. "I know. I still wonder why you fell in love with me in the first place." Harry stole Draco's spoon from his hand and dipped it into the cup under Draco's outraged look. "Hmm… This is really good!" Draco shook his head, defeated. Harry laid the spoon on the table and stared at him seriously. "I know you don't want to talk to me about this afternoon, but I just want you to know that I would never make fun of you for expressing your feelings like that. I thought you were really brave."

Draco's eyes shimmered, but he smirked, "Brave? It was the most idiotic thing I've ever done."

"No, it wasn't." Harry took Draco's hand and squeezed it. "It just proved that you're human."

Draco sighed. "It's so weird."                

"I know."

"And now we're all here. You, me, our fathers… It feels like this strange alternative universe."

"And you and your father were actually expressing your feelings better than me and my father. _That_ was _very_ strange," Harry joked.

Draco smiled feebly. "It really was."

"What happened between you and your father today only concerns you. I would never spoil it, Draco."

Draco bit his lip and nodded. "I know, Harry. I just…"

"I know. How are you feeling now?" 

Draco shrugged. "I have no idea. Everything is so confusing. And now we don't even know what I have."

That was the reason why Harry couldn't sleep in the first place. There was a big chance that James was wrong about his assumptions, but if he wasn't… Harry couldn't even think about it. Draco looked sicker by the day. They had to find a cure for whatever he had, and fast. He'd been analysing every part of his conversation with Pansy, trying to find something between the lines, because he knew there was _something_ in there. 

"They're playing with us," Harry said absently.

"Who?" Draco asked.

"Pansy and the others. I think… I think Voldemort planned this whole thing, and he just told Goyle to tell you a lie about _Amarulentus_ so we went looking in all the wrong places. And we were stupid enough to buy it, to believe in the enemy…" Harry fumed, and it suddenly hit him. "Pansy knows the truth. She knows you're not poisoned with _Amarulentus_. Don't you remember the way she talked to me? She had all these hints behind her words. And she said it isn't up to her whether you'll die or not. But the question is… what are they up to?"

Draco had a clue, but he was too scared to analyse it. He had been having strange dreams lately; dreams where he was being totally controlled by Voldemort. But he wouldn't tell that to Harry. He didn't want to worry him even more. 

"I was thinking Draco… I think I'll try to do to Voldemort the same thing he has been doing to me. I'll try to sneak under his thoughts and discover what he's planning to do."

"NO!" Draco protested instantly. "It's too dangerous! You don't know how this link works. It could backfire, and then Voldemort would put you under the same stress he put you yesterday! I won't let you do this, Harry. It's too risky."

"But Draco… It might be our only chance!"

"No, Harry." Draco gripped Harry's hands. "I'm not important to this world, but you are. It won't matter if I die."

"Don't say that! You're important to me! If you die, I won't make it."

Draco smiled feebly. "You will. It's your destiny."

"Stop talking nonsense, Draco!" Harry exclaimed.

"My only fear is…" Draco gulped. "My only fear is to be used against you. I don't want that."

Harry held his breath. "Do you think… that Voldemort will use you against me?"

"He's already doing that, Harry. He knows about us, doesn't he?"

"No. I refuse to believe that. You would never hurt me."

"Wouldn't I?"

Harry's eyes flickered worriedly, but he shook his head. "Please, don't say those things."

"I just think you should be prepared, Harry," Draco said tiredly. 

"Draco…"

Draco caressed Harry's face. "Just don't let him get to you, Harry."

Draco stood up to leave, but Harry held him tightly from behind. Draco closed his eyes and sighed, his hands resting on Harry's. Draco turned around after a while, and Harry kissed him. He could feel every fear and worry in Harry's kiss. He felt a pang in his body, but he made an effort not to let Harry notice. He didn't want Harry to know that he was falling apart slowly. 

Harry rested his forehead on Draco's and said firmly, "I will never let go of you. I'll never give up on you." 

Draco leaned his head on Harry's shoulder and sighed.  

To Be Continued…

A/N: I know Draco is a lot more OOC in this chapter, but I think most people behave like a six-year old when they are breaking down in front of their parents. I know I did. I am silly like that… 

I'd also like to add that I have nothing against blondes, just this one bimbo that stole my one true love. *sobs* 


	13. Take me Home

Disclaimer: Blah-blah-blah.

A/N: One more chapter! Yes! And it's out before Christmas!! Warnings? Nah. Just read and find out. 

THANKS: Jamie and Lildove, my beta readers, and to everyone who reviewed! 

Chap. 13 – **TAKE ME HOME**

It was over very quickly, but for Harry and Lucius, the whole process of the ancient druid magic seemed to go on for ages. First, Severus had made James drink his potion so he could sleep. Then, Lucius had placed James in the middle of a large red circle drawn by Erin, who was an expert in this sort of ancient magic. Lucius had told everyone to stay back, and after taking a deep breath and concentrating hard, he started the incantation with the help of Erin. 

A red light had surrounded James, and the wind had swirled around him violently, but James' body continued to be inert on the ground. At this point, Harry had gripped Draco's hand, and the blond boy had tried his best to soothe Harry's worries. 

When the red light faded, Lucius fell to the ground, exhausted. Severus had quickly taken Erin in his arms and brought her back to the castle so she could rest. Draco had run to Lucius to help steady him. Harry, Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus had run to the aid of James, who was still in a deep sleep. 

"So, what now?" Harry asked Dumbledore. "He's going to be all right, isn't he?" 

Dumbledore gave him a sad but hopeful look, and Harry worried. But the optimistic cloud that surrounded the others helped to calm Harry down. 

One day passed, and James was still trapped in a deep sleep. No one wanted to call it a coma; no one dared to even think about the possibility that the incantation had failed. But on the second day, they couldn't pretend it was just a normal thing. Erin and Severus tried to find a reasonable explanation, and means to wake James up. Harry, who was expected to throw a tantrum, only sat by his father's bed and took his hand. 

"He'll wake up," Harry kept telling himself. "He won't leave me. I know he won't."    

"Harry," Draco called to him softly. 

"He'll wake up, right?" Harry looked at Draco hopefully, as if he was expecting Draco to know the answer.

"He will," Draco said, even though he wasn't sure. After all, that was what Harry wanted to hear. Draco put a hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezed it. "Father and Erin did the incantation. My father knew what he was doing very well, and so did Erin. We have to trust them."

"What about Snape? He hates my dad. He'd love to see him dead again," Harry said bitterly.

"Snape wouldn't do something like that," Draco stated. "Besides, think like a Slytherin. Even if he hates your father, he would never do something against him in front of a bunch of witnesses who could incriminate him easily. He isn't stupid, you know? Perhaps your father is just… resting for a lot longer than we expected. Father did say that James wouldn't wake up right away."

"But can I really trust your father?" Harry asked sulkily.

"Yes!"

Harry looked at Draco seriously. "Really? Just because he showed us a little weakness? What if all that drama was an act?"

"It wasn't, Harry. Please, don't say that."

"But how can you be so sure? We don't know that! Your father is a snake!" Harry exclaimed, angrily. "As far as we know, he could be acting just to get to do this! Just to make my father trust him and then…"

Draco looked at Harry with a bitter glance. He understood Harry's feelings, but he wouldn't allow or tolerate those harsh words about his father. Lucius was trying to be a better person, so he deserved a second chance. Harry had to understand that.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" he exclaimed, upset. "My father tried his best!"

"Come on, Draco! Not so long ago he was still a bad guy!"

"What he was feeling wasn't an act, Potter! He wasn't lying about the hell he went through! You don't know him like I do! I lived with him long enough to know when he's acting and when he isn't!"

"And when did he tell _you the truth?"_

Draco felt his anger rising. It had been there all along, just waiting for an opportunity to come out. Lately he'd been holding himself in check for Harry's and Lucius' sake. Listening to Harry woke his anger up, and he just let it out, "Don't you fucking say those things about my father! You know nothing about him! You don't know what it's like to be a Malfoy, to bear this burden! You never met my grandfather. You don't know what he was capable of!"

"He isn't an innocent man, Draco! He tried to kill me!"

"SHUT UP!" 

But Harry didn't. He was hurt, and he wanted to let it all out. Unfortunately, he was taking out on Draco, who just happened to be there. If only Harry wasn't blinded by his pain, he'd realise what he was doing to Draco, how much he was hurting him, and he'd stop. 

"Your father is nothing but a liar! He tricked my dad! I can't believe we actually let him perform the spell! He was Voldemort's pawn. I think he still is! You know what Lucius is capable of. Look what he did to you! I'm sure you remember the memories you showed me about your childhood. He fucking took your dog away from you – a bloody child – and he killed him in front of you to teach you a lesson! What kind of person does that to his own son? And how about the things he did to your mother? He treated her like scum! He never let her take care of you the way a mother is supposed to. He fucking left you alone in a bloody forest full of dangerous dark creatures! Tell me again, Malfoy, if I can really trust him!"

While Harry kept bringing Draco's worst memories out in the open, Draco covered his ears and muttered over and over for Harry to shut up. But since Harry kept accusing his father of many things – things that were true and therefore stung even more – Draco lost his mind and hit Harry. Harry fell down, and he stared at Draco as though he had gone insane. Draco didn't feel sorry for him. His fury was too big to care for whatever Harry was feeling. Instead of apologising, he just pulled out the same old expression that he used to wear when he hated Harry.

When Harry came out of his shock, he stood up and attacked Draco until they were both rolling over the floor, trying to hit each other. It was a very upset Lucius who found them and broke them apart. 

"What the heck is going on?" Lucius asked, casting a spell that tied their arms. 

"Potter thinks you put James in a coma on purpose!" 

"Tell Malfoy to stop worshipping scum like you! He thinks you're a saint!" 

Lucius raised his eyebrow. "And what kind of stupid fight is that? Of course I'm not a saint, but I also didn't do anything against James. When I did the spell, I was only trying to help him."

"Well, it didn't work!" Harry shouted.

Lucius was very aware of that, but he wouldn't show weakness in front of anyone, not anymore. "This was a very complicated spell, Potter, and your father knew it. I warned him, he still wanted me to do it. So he hasn't opened his eyes yet, but that doesn't mean he won't. You shouldn't fight with Draco because of that; it's not his fault. If you want to blame someone, blame me. And you," he looked at Draco. "What's with you? Don't you love this stupid boy? Didn't you fight with me because of him? Now you're going to fight with him because of me?"

Draco looked down. His eyes still had traces of his indomitable fury. He didn't dare to look into his father's eyes, or into Harry's. When the spell Lucius cast on them wore off, he left the room without a word. Harry, who was now regretful of the whole thing, thought about going after him, but Lucius stopped him.

"Let him be. It isn't really him. It's the damn poison or whatever it is. Didn't you notice his eyes? They were different. Leave him alone. If you go after him, he'll attack you even more, and I know he'll hate that when he comes back to normal."

Harry was surprised at Lucius' words. It was a very awkward situation to be hearing advice from a person whom he had always hated, and that had hated him back with the same intensity. Lucius was a _rare avis_. Harry felt no compassion for Lucius, and he wanted to let that be clear, but as he stared at him, he noticed how pale and tired the older man looked, and Harry pitied him. Maybe Draco was right. Maybe Lucius _was innocent this time, and the elder Malfoy really loved James. It was very difficult to believe him, but Harry desperately needed some friendly words._

He looked at the door where Draco had just gone through and he sighed. He had been so immersed in his own pain that he hadn't realised how much he had pushed Draco. Draco had his own problems to deal with, and he had forgotten about that. He had no excuses. He loved Draco; therefore, he shouldn't have yelled at him or said those horrible things about Lucius. Draco was finally winning his father's love. What right did Harry have to spoil things for him?

"I didn't mean to make him upset," Harry heard himself saying. "I…"

Lucius sighed, distressed. "I know, Potter. Some things can't be helped. You're both under a lot of stress. It's just normal that something like this happens." He looked at James' peaceful face. "You should rest. I'm sure your father wouldn't like you to be so stressed over for him. James will wake up when he's ready. It was a very complicated spell. Very complicated indeed… Get some sleep."

"Like you care," Harry muttered.

"You father does. Isn't that enough? He asked me to take care of you if something went wrong."

"He asked _you_?" Harry smirked. "My father was crazy, but not that much."

"Ha-ha. For your information, he did ask me." Lucius made a face. "Well, I suppose you're right. He really is insane, isn't he? To ask such a thing for me…" Harry smiled at Lucius for the first time, and the older Malfoy felt a lump in his throat. Harry's smile reminded him too much of James'. "He'll be all right, Potter. He has to because…" Lucius paused as if he was thinking of what to say. "He just has to come back from wherever he is."

Harry felt Lucius' sincerity in his words. It was unbelievable, not to say disturbing, but Lucius did care for his father. Harry caressed his father's hand softly, thinking of a way to make him come out of his coma, when it hit him. His eyes suddenly brightened up, and he exclaimed, "There's a way to call him!"

"And what's that?" Lucius asked doubtfully. 

"There's this spell… the Daydream Connection spell. I used it to talk to Draco once. It worked."

"You did?" Lucius seemed very surprised. "You actually reached Draco through the spell?" Harry nodded. "I sure am stunned. That spell is very difficult, and very dangerous. It's quite hard to make two minds share the same space at the same time. It requires a high degree of…"

"Love," Harry finished for him. 

"I'd say guts, actually. But yes, the right term is love. I can't believe you did it. You really talked to Draco?"

"Yes, I did."

"So you want to try with your father," Lucius glanced at James and then back at Harry. "You want to enter his mind."

"No, not me. You. You're the only who can do it, if you're love is true."

Lucius sniggered. "Yeah, sure." He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Harry Potter. "Like I'd do something like that – to enter James' mind… It's too dangerous. It wouldn't matter if my love was true if his wasn't."

"Well, I understand. But it's our only shot, right?" Harry squeezed his father's hand. "The spell is the only way to reach him. You said mind… but I don't call it that. I call it heart. Two hearts that are so connected that nothing can be an obstacle. It's a soul mate's spell."

"Exactly. I can't do it."

Harry looked deeply into Lucius' eyes. "You're the only one who can, actually. I don't like you, but my father does. He saw something in you. Draco said you like him, too. Even though I'm afraid of the consequences, I think it's worth a shot. Don't you? Unless, of course, you have doubts about your… love for him… or maybe it's just a lie."

Lucius crossed his arms, unsettled to have his emotions analysed like that. "It isn't so simple."

"Are you afraid to know the truth?" Harry's question had a hidden challenge in them.

Lucius didn't like Harry's insolence, but he liked that Harry looked suddenly wiser than him even less. "What truth?"

"That you really are soul mates. If you do the spell, you won't even have to wear that stupid True Love ring."

Lucius stared at him flabbergasted. "How do you know about that?"

Harry only smiled mysteriously. "Look, Malfoy, I… I don't trust you, but I noticed the way my father looked at you, and I saw love in his eyes. I also saw the way you look at him, and I know you care for him. I think… that you can do the spell successfully. I just don't know if Erin will be up to it, with her baby and all."

Lucius was very confused about Harry's words, but he was also touched. "You really think I can do it?"

"Yes."

Lucius gazed at James and he held the urge to caress his face. "I'll do it then. But only because… he's the one with a clue about Draco's illness."

Harry hid a smile. "That's the only reason."

Lucius didn't say anything, but Harry spotted a very important sparkle in Lucius' eyes.

--------------------------

Severus entered his room very upset with the latest events. Not only did the moron not wake up yet, but now his wife would have to perform another complicated spell that would require a lot of her energy. When Lucius had suggested entering James' mind, Severus had been more than just shocked. It wasn't like Lucius to care so much about someone. But then he remembered something that Erin had said to him a long time ago about Lucius, and her words finally sunk in. Lucius' long lost lover was James Potter. His _shadow – as Erin had called it once – was Potter. _

To find out that Lucius Malfoy – the heartless bastard – was gay and in love with a Potter was more than a shock to Severus, but he got over it. The only thing that mattered to him was the safety of Erin and their baby.

"Erin, would it make any difference if I say that I think it's too risky to perform another difficult spell in such a short period of time?" Severus asked as she got out of the bathroom. "I'm not saying this just because of me, but because of the baby. It isn't safe."

Erin smiled at him just like she always did. Severus was very weak to that smile, but he tried not to let himself be swept away this time.

"I couldn't say no to Lucius. You know I can't resist true love when I see it, right?" she said.

Severus grunted. He knew what Erin thought about Lucius and he didn't like it. "You're just doing it because you think he's devilishly handsome," Severus grimaced. 

Erin chuckled as she sat next to him and kissed the tip of his nose. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" Severus snorted. "Of course not!" 

She looked at him with amusement. "Aw! You're so cute, Sevvie!" 

"Don't call me that!" 

Erin made a face. "You might say you don't like it, but we both know better."

"Erin… I'm serious. I don't want you to do the spell."

Erin sighed. "I know. But for one thing, you know I don't take orders from you. For another, I have to."

"No, you don't!" Severus objected. "Let someone else do it."

"Who?"

"I don't know! Lupin maybe?" 

At the mention of Lupin's name, Erin looked suddenly sad and worried. "No, Remus can't do it. He isn't in the right mood."

Erin was very worried about Remus, because his pain was obvious to everyone. She didn't know exactly what had happened between Remus and Sirius, but she had a pretty good idea, and her instincts were usually right. It was annoying not to be able to see the future as clearly as she saw someone's past. Something bad would happen soon. She felt it, but she couldn't do anything about it, because she didn't know exactly what would happen, or to whom. 

Another thing that was bothering her was Alex. She hated to admit it, but maybe Severus was right about him.

"What's wrong, Erin?" Severus asked.

"I… I sense something wrong in the air these days," she said seriously. "I need to ask you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Could you… watch Alex for me?"

Severus frowned. "Why? Did he do something suspicious?"

"No. It's just the way he looks sometimes… He has such a dark expression. It reminds me of my father."

"Then you finally agree with me that he doesn't look like what he seems?"

Erin didn't want to lose hope on her brother, so she just said, "Keep an eye on him."

"Do you want me to watch him… or to spy on him?"

Erin took a while to answer, and when she did, she was very sad. "Spying would be better."

-------------------------------

There was a scream coming from Draco's bedroom, but in the Prefects' dormitories, everyone was too immersed in their own dreams to care. Draco woke up panting, his heart beating fast. He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath to calm down. He wasn't in Voldemort's domain, he repeated to himself. He was in his room, safely guarded by Dumbledore, his father and the others.

But that didn't matter, because Draco knew with a frightening conviction that soon he would be taken away from Hogwarts. There was already someone there for that purpose only. Voldemort's spy was just waiting for Draco to be completely taken over by what he believed was a controlling potion a lot more efficient than the Imperius curse, and a lot more difficult to break free from. Draco had seen everything in his dream, and he didn't know what to do. 

He knew he didn't have any time to lose, so he tossed the blanket away, got up from the bed and wrote down on a piece of parchment everything that had happened in his dream. Then he ran to the Slytherin common room and entered the sixth years' dormitory. 

"Blaise," he whispered as he sat down by Blaise's side. "Blaise, wake up."

Blaise muttered something in his sleep and then gave his back to Draco.

"Blaise, come on! There's no time." Draco shook him until the other boy opened his eyes.

Blaise stared at him with surprise. "Draco? What the fuck…?"

Draco covered Blaise's mouth with his hand to keep him quiet. "There's no time. I came here to ask you to do me a favour. It'll demand a lot from you, though, and I'll understand if you don't want to do it, but you're the only one I can count on."

Blaise's eyes flickered. "What is it?"

"Tonight I'll be kidnapped," Draco muttered sadly.

"WHAT?"

There was a mumbling from the other beds, and Draco held the urge to squeeze Blaise's throat. "Shush! Keep your voice down! I don't want anyone else to know about this."

"Then explain things to me in a way that I can understand. What the hell are you talking about?" Blaise asked angrily. "If you're going to be kidnapped, then why aren't you in Dumbledore's office, or with your beloved Potter? Are you delirious or something?"

"I can't go to them. Harry would try to save me, and things would get really messy. I'm afraid of hurting him. I can't meet him."

"But Draco… You aren't making any sense."

"It's too late for anyone to help me," Draco said sadly. "Soon I won't be myself anymore. Time is up for me. But I can't let anyone know. They'd try to help me, and they'd only make things worse. I brought you this." Draco took a piece of parchment out of his pocket and handed it to Blaise. "Give this to my father when I'm gone. And this," He handed Blaise another letter. "This is for Harry."

Blaise looked at him confused. "Draco… I don't get it. How do you know what's going to happen?"

"I've dreamed about it. What I have… It's some sort of a poison, in a way, but it's more like Imperius. It was designed to be stronger than Imperius, and more effective. Don't ask me how I know this, or even if I'm right. All I know is that Voldemort will use me against Harry. And the thing is, I won't care, because my only goal will be achieving power at all cost. I know how stupid Harry is, so I know he'll come after me. If he does that, I'll betray him. That's why I need your help. In this piece of parchment I wrote down the location to my cure. Once the healing potion is done, you'll be the one to give it to me."

"But if you won't be yourself, you won't accept anything from me."

Draco licked his lips nervously. "That's why you'll join Voldemort with me."

Blaise opened his eyes wide, but this time he didn't shout, no matter how much he wanted to. "Fuck, Draco. No, I won't do it! I'll give this to your father, and I'll keep an eye on Potter for you, but I won't join that… that… thing."

"I'm sorry, Blaise, but you're the only one who can meddle in among the Death Eaters without suspicion. It's the Slytherin in you. You can deceive anyone, even me. If you stay by my side and make me believe you're just another Crabbe, I won't suspect you, and I'll let you be by my side all the time, making your job easier when the time comes. You'll also prevent me from hurting Harry if he comes after me."

"I can't do it."

"You can."

Blaise smirked. "And since when do you trust me so much?"

"Because I saw you with Finnegan, and I know how much you care for him. I know how much you've changed. I also saw you in my visions. But the thing is, I don't know how things will turn out... I can only hope. Do it for Seamus. He's not a pure blood. Voldemort will target him more than the others."

Blaise looked the other way. He loved Seamus, and that was another reason why he should stay. His lover would never understand if Blaise just took off. Besides, Blaise knew that if he did what Draco was asking him to, he'd have to leave Seamus without a word. Seamus would hate him. He wouldn't understand. And then he would be all alone again.

But then again, Draco had a point. Seamus' family was a target. Blaise sighed, frustrated with his dilemma. 

"I can't do it," he repeated weakly. 

Draco sighed. "I understand."

Unfortunately, Blaise still cared for Draco. They had been friends once, and he had loved Draco before he got together with Seamus. He couldn't let Draco face all of that alone. And as a bonus, he'd be able to spy for the Order and help in defeat Voldemort. Then Seamus would be all right.

"I'll do it," Blaise whispered, not quite believing himself. 

Draco smiled. "Thanks. I know that what I'm asking for is very difficult."

"Damn right it is!" 

"You can tell Seamus if you want to. I can't ask you to lie to him."

Blaise shook his head. "I can't tell him. He wouldn't be able to hide things from Potter, unless, of course, you explained everything to Potter in your letter."

Draco smiled bitterly. "I explained most of it to Harry, but I know he won't understand."

"The same goes for Seamus."

"Still, it's better if you let him know."

"He'll hate me anyway," Blaise said thoughtfully. "I won't tell him. If I do, he'll be in danger. I can't put him in danger. It's better if he doesn't know anything."

Draco smiled sadly. "You really love him."

Blaise flushed slightly, and then shrugged. "Just tell me exactly what I have to do."

In a spontaneous moment, Draco hugged Blaise. "Thank you."

Blaise smiled. "Don't thank me. For this huge favour, Draco, you'll owe me a big one."

"That's fair enough. This is what we'll do…"

--------------------------

Lucius felt a pang in his heart for no reason, and he wondered if he should call the whole thing off, but he was already in the middle of the magical circle, and Erin was already intoning the ancient incantation. Lucius felt his mind floating and then spinning at a remarkable speed, until he landed somewhere in James' mind. 

He stood up and dusted himself off, looking around for any sign of James. He was amazed by what he saw. 

He was standing in what looked like a blank space. At his left, there was only darkness and thunderbolts. At his right, there was a peaceful landscape, full of trees and different kinds of flowers. Lucius frowned as a bird landed on his shoulder.

"What the fuck, Potter," he muttered, shooing the bird. "Your mind is really fucked up."

Unsure of where to go, he decided for the peaceful landscape. It could be a trick, but the left side didn't look so good, even for a person like Lucius – who had known darkness his entire life. He had walked only a few steps when the wind started blowing stronger, messing with his hair. He cursed aloud, and as he entered the right side, he spotted a little boy crying under a tree. 

Lucius didn't like children, but since he was there to help James regain consciousness, he walked towards the child. When the boy looked up, Lucius realised it was James at the age of eight. He felt uncomfortable, but he knelt beside the child even so. 

"Who are you?" asked a sobbing James.

"Malfoy," Lucius answered. "What are you playing at, James?"

"Playing?" little James bit his lower lip after answering, "I'm not allowed to play anymore. I'm not allowed to do anything."

Lucius frowned. James' tears were softening his heart, but since he didn't know what he was fighting against, he kept his shield on. 

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I won't let him," answered a cold voice behind Lucius. It was definitely an adult's voice this time.

Lucius turned around slowly, already with a sneer on his face. James was dressed in all black, and something dangerous was sparkling behind his eyes. But far from being scared, Lucius was rather excited with James' dark version. The soft James Potter was always difficult to handle, but this one was more familiar to his world. He was used to that kind of look, and it'd make it easier to fight against James if he had to.

"Hello, Malfoy," greeted James with a sneer. 

"Well, hello there, Potter. Nice place you have here. It's very... symbolic."

"Thanks. It's nice to see you here, too," James said. "You got here just in time to see me break this stupid kid's soul. I know you like that sort of thing. Pain mingled with pleasure, right? There's nothing better than to break someone. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about."

The boy winced at the words, and he clutched his fingers on Lucius' cloak.

"Oh, I do know," Lucius smirked back. "But I'm sorry to inform you that I won't let you break this boy."

James smiled evilly. "Right. Like you could do anything to stop me. You have no power here. I'm surprised to see you, but you won't mess with my plans. In fact, I thought you'd be happy. Once the darkness takes this whole place, a new James Potter will be born; a stronger and wicked one."

Lucius made a bored expression. "Sure, whatever. You know, I like this dark version of you. I really do. You don't scare me, and I think we finally match. But your dark side will cause too much trouble and I can't allow that." He stared deeply inside of James' dark eyes. "This is so you. I should have known you'd pull something like this. You're such a show-off, Potter. Your dark side is fighting against your sweet, innocent good side. Thunderbolts all over… It's really cute, if it wasn't so bloody annoying and terribly cliché! Please… You can do better than this."

James fumed and the little boy gripped Lucius' cloak even harder. 

"This isn't a game, Malfoy. I'm very serious. If you don't get out of my way, I'll make you."

"Don't be an idiot. I could take you down in a second, James. I know more dirty tricks than you," Lucius stated very seriously. "I have an idea about what this is all about. Ever since your missing soul came back, all of your lost memories were re-activated as well, or at least most of them. More importantly, it allowed you to remember the person who betrayed you. Am I right?"

The adult James flinched, but it was the little boy who cried for Lucius to stop. 

"You remembered Peter Pettigrew," Lucius pointed out, trying hard to ignore the boy behind him. 

"Yes, that's right." James' eyes became darker. "I remembered that bastard and I'll kill him when I wake up."

"No! He was my friend," said the little James. "He wouldn't do that."

"He already did!" shouted James, enraged. "He screwed up your life! He sold you out to Voldemort!"

"Yes, he did. He deserves to die. But killing part of your soul won't do you any good. Besides, I worked hard to put your soul together, Potter! You won't screw this up! I won't allow it. Get a grip on yourself. The kid is terrified enough. Just kiss and make up. Then this stupid symbolism you've hidden yourself into can disappear and we can go back to our delightful reality."

"Shut up, Malfoy! Why do you care anyway? I thought you'd like me this way. Why do you care for a stupid and weak boy that does nothing but hide behind you?" James asked, upset. 

"I care because this boy is _you, James. He's a part of you that I fancy. I can't let you kill this part of your soul. He represents what's good in you. I do like your dark side. In fact, you were never like your goody-goody son. You're conceited; sometimes even wicked. I don't remember Harry being in a real fight with Draco or anyone, but I remember when you and Severus fought until you drew blood. You were a coward when you left me. You have many flaws, and you know what? I like you just the same. You weren't always fair, but you at least tried to be. And... You always try to do what's right. Not that you _were_ always right..." Lucius made a pause, and then he went on, "But I like everything about you. Well, not _everything_. I hate this symbolic shit you're in, but anyway, I won't give up on you."_

"Malfoy..." James whispered, his eyes a little less dark.

Lucius was feeling emotional after his speech, so he thought he should add something else so James wouldn't feel like he was the most important person in the world for Lucius. "I'm also doing this because I can't stand to fail. Can you imagine your son's face if you come back the way you are now? No can do, Potter."

For a moment, Lucius really thought his words had touched James, but the brunette only smirked. 

"That was a very sweet speech, Malfoy. But it didn't make any difference to me. All I want is revenge."

Lucius sighed. "I really put a lot of effort into that speech."

"If that was all you could you, then–"

"Actually, I do have something else to say," Lucius said, cutting James off. "I know what betrayal feels like. I know you're hurt. The memory of Pettigrew's betrayal is a shock. You trusted that slimy rat. He was one of your best friends. But do you know what, Potter? You aren't the first one who has ever been betrayed by a friend, and you won't be the last."

"I don't give a shit! I just want to destroy him! And if you don't get out of my sight, I'll destroy you, too."

"Luc, let go. Go away," muttered little James.

Lucius stared at him, dumbfounded. "I thought you didn't know who I was."

"Just go away, Luc. Save yourself. It's too late," said little James sadly.

"You heard the kid, Malfoy. Give up and leave!"

Lucius faced the other James with a sneer and the conviction that he'd stay and fight with. "I'm really sorry, Potter, but I have to protect your _chastity_." Lucius turned to the boy and said, "Go hide somewhere. This is for grown ups." Then he turned his attention back to James. "Shall we begin?" 

James shot a green light in Lucius' direction that missed him by inches. Lucius smiled mischievously. Rather than being scared, he was feeling excited. 

"Is that the best you can do?"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" James shouted furiously, shooting another ray of light in Lucius' direction.

Lucius ducked many times and he was hit twice, but only superficially. He didn't want to hurt James, but pretty soon he'd have to fight back or James would get the best of him. 

"Stop this madness, James!" Lucius shouted, losing his patience after the tenth shot. 

"NO! You don't know what it's like! You have no idea how I feel!"

"What the fuck are you talking about? I know bloody well! Did you forget about my father?"

James shook his head. "You don't understand! I can't let that bastard live!"

"So we'll kill him. But you have to come back to normal! You're divided. Undo it, Potter! Unite yourself. Do it for your son!"

"NO!" James shot a ray of light at Lucius, and the blond fell to the ground.

Little James, who had been hidden until that moment, got out of his hideout and stepped in front of James, blocking him from Lucius. 

"Don't hurt him!" he pleaded. "I love him. He's my home. Please, don't hurt him."

James seemed taken aback. "You... love him? That man is nothing but a liar, a filthy snake!"

"I don't care. I love him. If you want me, take me. But don't hurt him anymore."

"Hey, kid! What are you doing?" Lucius asked panting. 

Little James smiled at him. "I'm saving you." He got even closer to the older James.

"No, wait!" Lucius shouted. "Don't go near him! He'll hurt you!"

"I'm not afraid anymore, Luc. You came for me. I know what to do now," said the child.

Even older James seemed stunned by the assurance of the little one. Light and dark became one. Lucius didn't know what exactly happened, but after a period of chaos, there was only peace and one James left. He held his breath as an adult James turned around to look at him.

"Potter?" he asked with a frown.

James smiled. "I thought we were on a first name basis."

Lucius couldn't help but smile back. His James was back. James helped him stand up, and Lucius winced as he touched his left arm.

"I'm sorry," James said apologetically. "I swear I didn't mean to..."

"Oh, you did. But look at the bright side. This wound isn't exactly physical. I'm convinced that the moment I wake up, my arm will be as good as new," Lucius sneered. "If not, _I swear I'll wound yours."_

"Luc..."

Lucius saw the sparkle in James' eyes, and he knew where that was going. James would start apologising and so on. He wasn't in the mood for talking anymore, so he silenced James with a kiss. James didn't object to it; he melted in Lucius' arms, and deepened their kiss. 

"You came for me," James said after he regained his breath. "You came to help me."

"Don't get too excited," said Lucius with his usual drawling voice. "It was your son's idea."

"But you came just the same."

"I had to. The brat wouldn't leave me alone."

James rolled his eyes. "You're really hopeless, Lucius. But I know you love me."

Lucius frowned, his heart beating fast. "I never said anything about love. You're so bloody conceited!"

"You're here, aren't you?" James hugged him, and Lucius closed his eyes. "That's enough proof for me."

"So, what happened to your dark side?" Lucius asked.

James tensed. "It's here, but it's tamed. For now. Were you afraid?" 

"Don't be ridiculous! I told you I wasn't afraid! Didn't you hear me?"

"Did you mean all those things you said to me?"

Lucius stared into his eyes and answered, "Yes. But so what?"

Lucius didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but James knew now what was deep inside his heart, because for that moment, their hearts and minds were connected. He had many battles ahead, and the desire to kill Peter was still strong; but knowing that someone cared that much for him made his heart lighter. Lucius would probably never say that he loved James, but it didn't matter. He knew for sure what Lucius felt for him, and that was enough for him. 

"Luc?"

"What?"

"Take me home."

Lucius felt something warn running through his body, filling his soul. He took James' hand in his and smiled.

"I don't really know where home is," he said softly.

James stroked his face and smiled. "Then we'll find it together."

-----------------------------------

Alex was almost in the middle of the Dark Forest when he heard Remus' voice asking him to stop. He turned around with a heavy sigh. In his arms he was holding an unconscious Draco Malfoy. 

Remus was the last person he wanted to see. He didn't want Remus to think of him as the traitor that he was. Alex' mission was to bring Draco to Voldemort once the time was right, and in exchange he'd have a cure for his werewolf condition. It was that simple. Alex would finally be able to live a normal life. But he had to spoil everything by falling in love with Remus.

"Remus, please leave or I'll have to hurt you," Alex said. 

Remus shook his head, feeling his heart sinking deeper and deeper at the obvious betrayal. He couldn't help but think that love really wasn't for him. First Sirius had broken his heart and now Alex. 

"Leave the boy, Alex," Remus ordered, pointing his wand at Alex with trembling hands. 

Alex smiled sadly. "I can't do that. Besides, I'm actually doing you a favour. This Draco Malfoy isn't the one you know now. When he wakes up, he'll be a totally different person. He'll have no memories of his feelings for Harry Potter."

"You knew about them?" Remus asked, astonished with the revelations. 

"Of course I knew. I could smell them all over each other."

"What do you mean he will be a different person?"

"Lord Voldemort tested a new type of controlling potion on him. It's said to be more potent than _Imperius_. It's like a poison that eats your heart and your most beautiful life memories to turn you into a heartless bastard with no soul. Like I said, I'm doing Hogwarts a favour by taking this boy away. When he wakes up, he'll only have the desire to kill Harry Potter."

"I don't believe you! How could you, Alex? You betrayed all of us!"

Alex felt bad about it. Everyone at Hogwarts was so nice to him. There was also Erin to think about. His beloved sister had trusted him. He really loved her, but once she knew the truth, she would understand. And it wasn't as if Erin would be so surprised. After all, Lestrange was their father.  

"He promised me the cure for my werewolf blood. He said I could be only human again," Alex explained as if that was enough to redeem him.

"Alex… There's no such thing!" Remus exclaimed. "How could you believe him? You know he's a liar!"

Remus couldn't believe Alex had fallen for such a cheap trick. Everyone knew the deal – once a werewolf, always a werewolf. There wasn't a _cure_ for it; there were only ways to soften their natural aggression towards human beings. He should have known Alex would do something like that. After all, Alex had always had a dangerous glint in his eyes. Sirius had warned him about it. _Sirius…_ Remus became even sadder by thinking of him. His destiny was to be betrayed. 

"Even if there was a cure, you shouldn't have sold your soul to Voldemort like this!"

"Perhaps I did sell my soul to the devil. But the devil has been a part of me ever since that werewolf bit me."

"No! I don't see it that way!"

"You hate your werewolf side, too, Remus!" Alex shouted, losing his composed face. "Everyone is afraid of us. Why do you think your precious Sirius can't be with you? It isn't just because you're a man, although that is a huge problem for him. He can't love you because you're not a normal human being!" 

That was like a slap in the face, and Remus felt the pain all through his body, knocking him down and making him out of breath. 

"Sirius never cared about my being a werewolf," he stated, trying to sound more secure than he really felt. 

"He didn't trust you in the past because you were a werewolf. Or did you forget about that?" 

Remus felt another pang in his heart. He couldn't deny that. It was true. Sirius had suspected him in the past. 

"So instead of fighting me, why don't you come with me? I don't really care about Voldemort. I learned from a very young age that my only concern in this world is with myself. I don't need anybody else. No one really cared for me."

"What about Erin? She loves you," Remus reminded him.

Alex nodded. "Yes, but Erin will understand my feelings. Come with me, Remus. Once we got the cure, we'll go away together. I love you. I didn't think it was possible for me to love anyone, but I love you." 

Remus gulped at those words. No one had ever said that to him. Still, he couldn't forget that Alex had Draco in his arms, and he was planning to hand him to Voldemort.

"If you love me, then leave Draco here," he pleaded. 

"Draco won't be the same anymore. If he stays the way he is now, he'll hurt Harry Potter. Do you want that?"

Remus didn't, but what else could he do? He couldn't let Alex take Draco away. That would tear Harry apart. 

"Come with me, Remus."

Alex had such a tender look in his eyes that Remus didn't resist. In the end, he did the unthinkable. He lowered his wand and nodded. Yes, he would join Alex, but not because he believed in Voldemort's fake promises. He'd join Alex because that was the only way to save him. It was also a way to spy for the Order. It was a crazy idea, but it didn't matter. Remus had lost Sirius. He had nothing else to lose. He might still do something good for Harry. Perhaps his meaningless existence would finally be good for something. 

He walked towards Alex and smiled. If Alex noticed that Remus was only trying to be a martyr, he didn't say.

----------------------------------

Severus cursed for the tenth time that night. He had lost Draco. Alex had taken him away under his watch. He still couldn't believe it. 

Erin was devastated, but after the shock she had fallen into a deep concentration as if she was planning her next step. Severus didn't like that at all. He'd failed with Draco; he wouldn't fail with Erin. He would protect her at all costs. If Erin knew that, she'd probably tell him that she wasn't a damsel in distress, and that she knew how to take care of herself very well. But she was now pregnant with his baby. He couldn't allow her to do something foolish. 

"Headmaster, I don't understand! We could have stopped Alex!" he exclaimed, upset. "Lucius will be very pissed when he wakes up."

Dumbledore looked sad, but not at all regretting of the fact that he'd prevented Severus from stopping Alex.

"Everything happens for a reason, my dear friend. This was supposed to happen. That was why I let Alex stay in this castle. Deep down, I was hoping that his love for Remus would make him change his mind at the last minute, but…" Dumbledore sighed as he stared at the stars. "Everything happens for a reason..."

Severus snorted. "It's a rather romantic idea, even for you, Sir. You really don't believe in foolish things such as this!" 

"I don't like how things turned out, Severus," Dumbledore said seriously. "But the truth is that we don't have a cure for Draco's condition. If he stayed here, he'd have caused us many problems. I know this sounds cruel, but at least now he won't hurt Harry, as I know he'd have. And I do believe that Voldemort won't do anything against Draco now. That's something positive."

"Of course he won't do anything against Draco!" Severus exclaimed, losing his temper. "He's already done it! He poisoned Draco with this new form of a controlling spell, and then he took him away under our noses! He must be laughing his heart out! He'll use Draco as a weapon against Potter! How can you say that something like this was meant to be?"

Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully. "You forget that Draco isn't the only one who left. We have two very important allies pretending to be on Voldemort's side now."

"Remus Lupin and Blaise Zabini? This is the joke of the century!"

"Well, _even the smallest one may change the course of the future (*)_. Don't underestimate them. I think they will be essential for our victory, as much as Harry is for the salvation of our world. You forget that you were once very important for the Order."

Severus bit his lips and he clutched his fists. "No matter how important I was, I couldn't save the Potters."

"No one expected Peter Pettigrew to do what he did," Dumbledore said sadly. "I didn't see that coming… No one did. We didn't expect Sirius to put Peter as a Secret Keeper at the last minute…"

Severus knew that that day didn't haunt only him. Dumbledore and many others felt guilty about the attack at the Potter's house. 

Even though Severus wasn't so sure of the future, he trusted Dumbledore. 

"I don't want to be around when Harry finds out about Draco…" Severus said. 

"Let us hope that James will be there for him in time… But if he isn't, I want you to keep an eye on him."

Severus frowned. "Me?"

"Yes! You're the one who has been trying to keep Harry out of trouble ever since he arrived here. You don't fool me, Severus. You try hard to dislike him, but the truth is that you do like him. You see a lot of yourself in him."

Severus looked the other way, annoyed. "That's ridiculous."

Dumbledore hid a smile. "Even so, I want you to make sure that Harry doesn't do anything foolish."

Severus sighed. Dumbledore was, as usual, annoyingly right. Against his better judgement, Severus had learned to like the boy. And it wasn't just because Harry reminded him of Lily, but because Harry had a light of his own that was hard to ignore. But he'd rather die than confess something like that.  

"I'll try my best to keep him out of trouble," Severus said. "But you know how he is…"

Dumbledore smiled. There wasn't any doubt that Harry would try to go after Draco. All they could do was try to keep him safe at Hogwarts. 

"Are we going to tell the Order about Remus?" Severus asked.

"Only certain people. We'll have to tell Sirius and James. I won't allow any more misunderstandings between them."

"Headmaster, what do you see for the future?"

"Ah, Severus, you know I can't predict the future."

"You could have fooled me…" Severus muttered. 

"I know a lot about people's feelings and human nature. Well, most of the time I do. But the future… I'm not sure about it. I have a few visions, but they are never clear to me. Draco's part in all of this is vague. But I'm sure we'll find a way to bring him back to us unharmed. We just need to have a firm hold on Harry."

That was a huge problem to Severus, because he knew better than anyone else that Harry Potter was very hard to hold down. 

There wasn't much that Severus could do now, though. He could only pray for the best. 

TBC…

(*) The line isn't mine; it's from Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien! I just love this quote. 


	14. One More Night

Disclaimer: You know the drill. All characters are JK's babies and so on… *kneels down at JK's feet and thanks her for creating them*

Thanks: To my sweet beta-readers **Jamie** and **Lildove**.

A/N: Hmm… I don't really know what to write. How do you like the story so far? Is it too crazy? Too sappy? Too… everything?? ^_^. Should I kill Narcissa or Remus? *evil grin* Nah. I'm just kidding. Or am I? *more evil grins* 

This chapter is rated NC-17, so I had to cut the scene out in order to upload here. Sorry… The entire version of the chapter can be found at my yahoo group. 

Ch. 14 – **ONE MORE NIGHT**

_"Harry,_

_I know what you must be thinking, but you're wrong. I went to Voldemort not because I was forced to, but because I had to. By now everyone must have told you about what was really going on with me. It wasn't a regular poison set up to kill me. It was a poison to control me, to make me a puppet. I'm yet another plan of Voldemort to get to you._

_I refuse to be the one to destroy you, and that's why I must go. If I stay, I'll hurt you more than I am now. I can't do that. I won't. I'll ask Blaise to come with me. He'll keep an eye on me. I know I'll become a heartless bastard again, but he'll make sure that I don't commit crimes that I won't be able to live with afterwards. He will also try to steal the book that has the cure for my problem. I hope he succeeds.  I don't want to hate you forever. I don't want to cause you any pain._

_So I ask you, please, don't try to find me. Don't come after me. Going away is the right thing to do. I hope we only meet again when I'm fine, but if we meet earlier, keep in mind that I won't be myself. I won't recognise you. That's why you have to stay away. Do this for me. I don't know what I'll be capable of doing. I don't want to know._

_Let my father take care of things. Hopefully, there will be a cure for me, and we'll be able to be with each other again._

_I love you. Never forget that._

_Always yours,_

_Draco"_

Harry crushed the letter in his hands, the same letter he had read a thousand times before. The idea that he was alone now, that Draco had abandoned him, couldn't leave his thoughts. His heart was aching painfully. He couldn't believe Draco had foreseen his own kidnapping and hadn't told him about it. Instead, Draco had trusted Blaise Zabini, a boy that had blackmailed him once. 

Harry wasn't just mad at Draco. He was infuriated, jealous, heartbroken. Draco had chosen Zabini instead of him. But even though he felt like crying, he didn't shed a tear. He refused to let anyone see his pain; he refused to share it. 

Harry couldn't understand Draco's plan of action. Did Draco really think he wouldn't go after him? Did his boyfriend know Harry so little? Harry's world without Draco was unthinkable. Harry couldn't go on without him. But it seemed as if Draco had chosen to be without Harry, and by his letter, he had done it without thinking twice. 

The situation was a nightmare. Harry ran his fingers across his hair, messing it all up even more. 

He was almost sure that Draco had gone with Alexis without putting up a fight because he wanted to play the hero. Draco had always been obsessed with the idea of beating Harry, and now he had his big chance. He could be famous. He could spy for the Order and become the hero instead of Harry. Or perhaps Harry was being too unfair, too bitter. Draco had no choice but to follow Alexis. Like he had written in the letter, he wouldn't be himself anymore. But so what? Harry had seen the worst of Draco once. Would this new Draco be more vicious than the Draco who used to make fun of him?

Either way, Harry was still mad and depressed, and those feelings couldn't let go of him. His father had tried to comfort him, but Harry didn't find comfort in anything. It wasn't as if James knew what he was doing anyway. Harry was happy that his father was finally awake, but the good news was soon oppressed by more bad news. Harry appreciated his father's efforts to cheer him up, but he just wanted to become numb. Perhaps then he could find some relief from his pain.

"Harry?" Hermione called from the door of his bedroom. 

Harry quickly hid the letter inside a Quidditch book and looked at her with empty eyes. He didn't want her to catch him reading the same letter again. "What?"

Hermione had been walking on glass every time they talked. She never knew what to say to him, or how to behave. She knew Harry didn't want comforting words but plans to go after Draco. She had thought about it, but she couldn't come up with anything. Harry wasn't supposed to leave the castle now that Voldemort had declared open war, and everyone was keeping a strict vigilance on him. What was a girl to do?

She did notice something, and she hoped that what she had to say to Harry would help him ease his pain a little bit.

"Have you seen Seamus?" she asked.

Harry shook his head, worried. "No. Why? Is there something wrong?"

She smiled sadly. Boys didn't pay attention to anything. "Haven't you noticed? He isn't eating, and I bet he isn't sleeping either. He's as sad as you, because Blaise left with Draco. Draco left you a letter, but Blaise left without a word. Seamus thinks Blaise went to join Voldemort because he really wants to be a Death Eater. He doesn't know Blaise only wants to help Draco."

Harry gulped and looked the other way. He didn't know Seamus was suffering that much. He had been too worried about his own feelings to care about anyone else's. 

"Did you tell him that Blaise isn't a bad guy?" Harry said, and his voice didn't hide its bitterness. "Did you tell him that Blaise is the hero now?" 

"I didn't tell him anything. If Blaise didn't tell him, then I figure that he doesn't want Seamus to know the truth. But… I feel sorry for him. It's so sad to watch. Seamus really likes Blaise. It isn't fair to let him think that Blaise was only deluding him."

"Then you should tell him the truth. Why should we care about Blaise Zabini anyway? We don't really know for sure that he left because he wanted to help Draco, right? Maybe he wants to be a Death Eater! It's possible, isn't? He wasn't a nice guy."

Hermione sighed. She understood Harry's feelings, but she couldn't let her friend be blinded by his jealousy. 

"Don't be a twit, Harry. Stop looking at your gloomy little world and start _seeing_ the big picture! He didn't leave because he wanted to. He left because Draco asked him to. He was very brave, actually. He could have refused, but he didn't. He faced the challenge."

"And how is that supposed to make _me feel better?" Harry asked, furious. "What you just said only proves that Blaise was in love with Draco all along, and that Draco trusted him more than me! They were in love with each other. Great! I have the right to be upset! Whose friend are you anyway?"_

Hermione didn't lose her calm posture. She kept looking at Harry as if she was dealing with a child. "They are not in love, Harry. They are _friends_. I know you don't believe this, because you just know the wicked part of Blaise. But Draco and Blaise were friends before. Blaise still cares for Draco, and I believe Draco still likes him in a _friendly_ way. Ron would have followed you if you had asked him to join Voldemort, because he's your friend, and this friendship is very important to him. I'd have been mad, too, but I'd have understood." She arched an eyebrow. "Actually, I'd have gone, too."

"You're forgetting that Ron isn't a bastard like Zabini."

Hermione sat down on Harry's bed. "Draco told me a little about his friendship with Zabini. They were more or less like you and Ron. They had to part because Lucius Malfoy thought it was the best for Draco. Zabini was poor and his father was a drunken thief. You know Lucius. He didn't care much about the thief part, but he did care about the lack of money. I don't know Zabini. I don't know if he really is going to help Draco. But… I hope he does. Draco put his life in Zabini's hands." 

Harry sneered. "One more thing to make me feel overwhelmed. Thanks a lot, Hermione. It's such a wonderful thing to know that your boyfriend put his life in someone else's hands! Even better, he told you things he never told me!"

"Oh, stop being a cry-baby, Harry!" she said, irritated this time. Being nice to Harry wasn't working; it was time for her to be firmer. "This isn't the time for you to sulk. It's time for you to fight! The war is upon us! The Daily Prophet is publishing nothing but nasty predictions for our horrible future, _if_ we're going to have a future, that is. Everybody is counting on you, Harry. You can't be like this."

"What a bunch of crap! FUCK EVERYBODY! Tell them to count on someone else, because this hero isn't a hero at all! Draco will be the hero this time, if he and his new lover manage to find the bloody cure. I'm tired of people telling me what to do! I want to be upset! I have the right to! I don't want to fight. Everyone thinks they know what's best for me. Dumbledore knew Alex wasn't to be trusted but he let him stay! He knew Alex was going to kidnap Draco, and he didn't do anything! I don't understand a thing anymore, and I don't really want to! I'm tired of this world. I'm tired of being everybody's puppet."

Harry directed his back to her, his breath unsteady. She had never seen Harry so nervous before, and it scared her. 

"I don't understand Dumbledore's reasons, either, but…" She stood next to Harry, tired. "We can't give up. If we do, Voldemort wins. You shouldn't be so out-of-control, because Voldemort will find a way to possess you again. He already broke into your mind once. You don't want him in your mind again, do you? Besides, you need to be strong for Draco. He's counting on you."

"He's counting on Zabini, not me," Harry said, letting his suffering show for the first time since Draco was gone.

"I don't know if Draco did the right thing, but he thought he was doing what was best for you. He's trying to protect you. He loves you, Harry. Think about _that_. He even stood up against his father to be with you. Do you really feel that he doesn't love you?"

Hermione's words brought back many memories of him and Draco together. He remembered their first kiss and how Draco had made him feel. He remembered their first night, when Draco stripped naked for him and then made Harry do the same. The taste of Draco was still on his lips. There was the time Draco sang to him on his birthday, which happened to be on the same day as Draco's. Harry found that amazing and more than just coincidence. It was the proof that they were meant to be. 

All those memories made him realise that he was being immature. Instead of sulking, he should be looking for ways to break Draco free from the potion's evil influence. 

"You're right. We need to find a way to bring Draco back. Even... even if he forgot about what we've been through together, I didn't," Harry said with emotion. "I can't let those memories die. I have to keep them burning. I need to be strong… for him. _I love him. That's what matters, right? Even if he hid things from me, even if he was stupid and trusted someone like Zabini, I can't give up."_

Hermione smiled and hugged Harry. "That's the Harry I know. We'll find a way to bring him back. Draco was smart by taking Zabini with him, Harry." Harry looked at her angrily and she added, "I mean Zabini is the perfect Slytherin. He knows how to hide his feelings very well. He'll be perfect for what Draco has in mind."

"Maybe you're right."

"Since we cleared that up, go to Seamus. He needs someone to comfort him."

Harry looked surprised. "Me?"

"Yes. His boyfriend left with yours, right?"

Harry made a face. "You really know just the right words to cheer me up, Hermione."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm just saying that Seamus needs a friend."

"I don't know where he is."

She frowned. "You have a bloody enchanted map, don't you?"

Harry bit his lips. "Oh, right."

"You shouldn't worry about being without Draco, Harry. You should worry about being without _me_," she said with her know-it-all tone of voice. "Frankly, I don't know how you and Ron handled things before I came along."

Harry smiled openly for the first time since Draco had been taken away, and he kissed Hermione's forehead, making her flush. "Thanks, 'Mione." 

She just made a gesture with her hands, too touched to say anything. 

----------------------------------

Harry found Seamus close to the Quidditch pitch, sitting on the grass with his head leaned against a big tree. He seemed absent-minded and sad. Harry twitched his hands nervously, trying to think of something to say. It was impossible for Seamus not to have noticed Harry's presence by now, but the boy hadn't turned his head to greet him. Harry understood the feeling, because he was feeling the same. He knew Seamus didn't want to talk. The boy was too mad, too hurt. 

"Seamus?" 

Seamus didn't move or open his mouth. Harry sat down by his side and tried again. This time Seamus looked at him, but his eyes were blank. 

"Are you ok?" It was a stupid thing to ask, but Harry didn't know what to say. 

Seamus just nodded and his eyes focused on the sky again. Harry sighed. 

"Zabini–"

"Don't talk about that traitor," Seamus cut him off coldly.

He had never seen Seamus acting that way. Seamus was always bright and happy. It was very hard to dampen his carefree spirit. He wasn't just angry like Harry. It was more than that. Seamus was sad, but also disillusioned. It was as if hope had abandoned him completely. At least Draco had left him a letter; Zabini hadn't said anything to Seamus. Harry didn't know Zabini's reasons, and he felt no sympathy for him, but Seamus was his friend. He couldn't stand to see him suffering like that for a person like Blaise Zabini. 

"Zabini… He went with Draco because… Draco asked him to. Hermione thinks Draco chose Zabini because he's a true Slytherin, and he'll be a good spy," Harry said in a low tone of voice, biting his lower lip. "I don't know what they plan to do, but I just thought you should know that Zabini… He went because Draco asked him."

It wasn't the right thing to say, Harry knew it. He had said in such a way that it seemed as if Zabini was Draco's lap dog, and he would do whatever Draco told him to do. Deep down, Harry thought exactly that, but he was there to comfort Seamus, not make him even angrier and sad.  

Seamus turned his eyes on him again. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know." Harry looked up to the sky he loved so much, the same sky that had welcomed him so many times before; the same sky that had given him peace of mind. "Draco has been poisoned with a controlling poison. He'd foreseen his own kidnapping, and so he asked Zabini to come along when the time came. I guess… Zabini didn't have time to leave you a note. Draco must have caught him by surprise. Or maybe… I don't know. Zabini doesn't seem like the kind of guy who likes to write love letters, or any letter for that matter. I don't know why he didn't write you, but… I wanted you to know that he didn't leave because he wanted to."

Harry wasn't so sure about that either, and once again he felt as if he had said the wrong thing. He shouldn't have come. Hermione was fit for this kind of situation, not him. If truth be told, he just wanted to go back to his room and sulk.

The corner of Seamus' lips lifted a little, but his eyes were sad when he said, "Yes, he did. Even if it was Draco who asked him to go, he could have refused. He didn't. Do you know why? Because he loves Draco. I'm not just mad at him because he joined You-Know-Who. I'm mad because I think he joined You-Know-Who just to be near Draco, and now I know for sure." Seamus shut his eyes tightly to prevent his tears from falling. "Everything was just an illusion. Our love was an illusion…" He opened his eyes, which shone brightly from the unshed tears, and stared at Harry. "You're right about him. He isn't the type to write letters. I didn't expect him to leave me anything. But I'm glad that Draco left you something, Harry. Even if it seems like they ran off together and left us alone…"

Harry hated to hear that. Seamus' words stung him painfully. He knew they weren't true. He knew Draco didn't really have a choice. But he still couldn't cope with the fact that Draco had chosen Zabini of all people to help him. 

"Listen, Seamus…"

"Will you be with me, Harry?"

Harry looked at him stunned. He didn't quite get what Seamus meant by that. "What?"

"I don't want to be alone tonight. Will you sleep with me?" 

Just like that. That was the Seamus that Harry knew so well, so straightforward. Seamus had such a cute expression on his face that Harry felt tempted to accept his offer. 

Harry gulped. "Seamus… I couldn't."

"Aren't you mad at them?"

"Yes, but…"

Seamus smiled feebly, his eyes brightening up a little. "I'm not asking you to have sex with me, you know? I'm just asking you to keep me company tonight. We'll just be two friends comforting each other."

"Oh."

Even so, Harry thought it wasn't a good idea. Perhaps Seamus meant exactly that, but Harry knew better. In the dead of the night, they would be alone and near each other's warmth. They'd remember their lovers and how much they had hurt them. Then their bodies would seek one another, and then it would be their downfall. Harry couldn't let that happen. He still remembered Seamus' kiss. Seamus had kissed him the same night Harry and Draco had made love for the first time. It wasn't the same as Draco's, but it was enough to make Harry want more. 

He sighed heavily. "I can't."

Seamus wrapped his arms around his knees and looked down. "I don't want to be alone. It doesn't matter what his reasons were, he should have told me about them. He should have thought about me. He didn't care. He never cared…"

What could Harry say to him? He didn't know if Zabini had ever cared for someone in his life. 

"I believed him when he said he would never join You-Know-Who. Just one word from Draco and he broke his promise to me. That's what hurts the most. I believed him, and he betrayed me like this. I don't care if he went just to help Draco. He went, and that's it. And now I'm alone… I don't know what's going to happen to him, to us. I'm afraid that he won't come back, and I'll never get the chance to be mad at him for lying to me. I fear that he'll die, and I'll never get the chance to forgive him, and hold him in my arms, and kiss him…"

Seamus couldn't hold his tears any longer. Harry was at the edge himself, but he held himself in check. Instead of crying, he held Seamus tightly in his arms. The other boy rested his head against Harry's shoulder and wept while Harry stroked his back and his hair and whispered calm things in his ears. 

"I think," Harry began softly, trying to placate his and Seamus' sadness. "I think they left to be heroes. They left to protect us, to save us. Knowing Draco, he'll succeed, and they'll come back to us bragging about their victories. And we'll welcome them, and praise them, because in the end they'll be heroes for real. And in the end, we'll still love them just the same."

Seamus lifted his head a little bit, his mouth inches away from Harry's. "And then we'll hit them for their stupidity."

Harry smiled weakly. " Definitely." 

"You're sweet, Harry." Seamus stroked Harry's face, and Harry wiped his tears away. "I do want to believe you, but… I have a horrible feeling…"

"I believe they'll come back. If they don't, we'll go after them," Harry said resolutely. "And then we'll have our way with them."

Seamus rested his head on Harry's shoulder again. "I hope you're right…"

----------------------------------

Hermione found Ron alone in the Gryffindor Common Room. He seemed deep in thought, and in spite of everything that was going on, she stopped to admire him. He had lost most of his boyish features and was becoming a very handsome man. It wasn't just his appearance that was changing. Ron was also becoming more aware of the things around him. Once he had just cared about his own world. Now he was behaving more like an adult. He understood that Hermione was different from the other girls he used to date, and he had stopped pressuring her for them to have sex. Instead, he was actually paying more attention to _her_ and not just to her body.

It was because of the way he started to look at her – like he was actually seeing her for the first time – that she had fallen in love with him all over again. 

"Oi, Hermione!" He said, frowning. "What's up with you? Why are you staring at me like that? I didn't do anything, did I? I don't remember doing anything to bother you…" He stood up quickly all of a sudden and came to rest next to her. "Did something happen to Harry? Did he do anything stupid?"

She shook her head. "No, he's with Seamus."

"You left him alone with Seamus?" Ron asked with his eyes wide.

Hermione couldn't understand what the big deal was. "Yes, they are alone. I told Harry that Seam needed a friend and he went to find him."

Ron couldn't believe her words. He shook his head and then smiled amusedly. 

"What?" she asked, upset. "What's wrong with it?"

"And I'm the one who knows nothing about relationships…" 

She crossed her arms. "What do you mean by that?"

Ron smiled. "Honey, their boyfriends just took off together. The first thing a guy wants to do when something like that happens is to get laid and forget about it. You know, get even. Harry wouldn't think about it, but Seamus… Seamus is a whole different story. He'll seduce Harry."

"He will not!" Hermione exclaimed, shocked. "They are hurt."

"Just because they're gay, doesn't mean they will behave like girls."

She rolled her eyes. "Like _you would know what girls do in a situation like that."_

"I have a sister. I know what Ginny is like when she's depressed. She grabs a pint of ice-cream and eats all of it. Then…"

"Then her smart friends come along; they talk and she realises how stupid she's being, so she put on her best dress and goes out to start all over again," Hermione finished. 

Ron frowned. "That wasn't what happened."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked sweetly.

He frowned even more. "Were you one of her smart girlfriends?"

She smiled mysteriously, but didn't answer him. "Look, Ron, I just thought Seam needed someone like Harry to comfort him. I don't think they will turn to each other for more than that."

"You really don't know anything about guys…"

"I don't like where this is going," she said with a frown.

"All right. It doesn't really matter. It's their lives, right? Perhaps what Harry really needs is a good shag. I never approved of his relationship with Ferret boy in the first place. Seamus is better, even if he is too noisy…" Hermione shot him a look of disapproval and he sighed. "Why are you looking at me like that? I'm only telling you what I think. I never liked Malfoy. I won't pretend now. He left with Blaise Zabini!"

"He didn't exactly have a choice."

"He didn't need to take Zabini with him."

"You don't know what happened, Ron."

"You should be defending Harry, not Malfoy."

"I can't help it. I've learned to like Draco. He's very charming."

Ron grunted with jealousy, but what he said next surprised her. "I don't like Malfoy, but I've been thinking… When he told us he wouldn't hurt Harry, I believed him. So I really think he went away to avoid that. I don't know if it was a good idea, but the fact is that he did it, whether we like it or not. And Zabini… Zabini just went along because no one will notice him. He'll make a good Death Eater, if it's fake. Seamus shouldn't worry so much. I think the reason why Zabini didn't talk to him before leaving was because he wanted to protect Seamus. We all know Seamus' family is one of You-Know-Who's targets. If Zabini told Seamus about his plans, Seamus would be in danger. He would know too much, if you know what I mean."

Hermione's mouth hung open for a long time. "Why, Ron. I never thought you had it in you."

"What?" 

"I never knew you were so sensitive towards others. I never thought you cared about the matters of the heart."

He turned bright red. "It isn't funny, you know. I have feelings, too."

She smiled and came to rest next to him. "I know." She laid her head on his shoulder and enlaced his waist. 

They stayed that way for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts, until Ron broke the silence, "I received the famous invitation letter to become a Death Eater."

He had spoken in such a low voice that she wondered if she had heard him right. She didn't dare to say anything. Chills of fear ran down her spine, and she had a real glimpse of Harry's feelings. She wanted to throw a fit, but somehow she held herself in check. He hadn't finished talking yet. 

"I actually thought about accepting it…"

"Ron!" she let it out, lifting her head to look into his eyes.

"… because I wanted to spy for the Order," he went on. "But there are too many people spying for them already. They don't need a clumsy fellow like me. Besides, my mother would throw a fit if I went. She's too worried already with my other brothers. Bill and Charlie are working for the Order, and Fred and George are desperate to work undercover, too." He stared at her and stroked her face softly. "And I couldn't leave you. I want to be here to protect you. I know your family is in danger. _You_ are in danger. I won't leave your side no matter what. Malfoy and Zabini had their reasons for leaving, but my place is beside you."

It seemed as if something was stuck in her throat, and she couldn't let out what she was feeling. She just hugged him tightly instead, glad that he had decided to stay because of her. Everyone thought Ron was shallow, but there was more to him than meets the eye. He had a big heart, and that was why she loved him so much. She kissed him softly, and rested her forehead on his.

"I love you, Ron," she whispered, flushing. 

"Just because I'm your knight?" he joked to hide his timidity. 

"Don't push it," she said seriously.

He smiled. "Ok." 

They kissed, as the time went by, his hands became bolder. He caressed her nipples, making her shiver. She could feel his arousal under his trousers, rubbing against her. She held his hand before it went any further and put some distance between them.

"You don't really expect me to have sex in the common room, do you?" she asked.

"Does that mean we can have sex somewhere else?" he asked full of hope.

She smiled sweetly. "Maybe."

He beamed with excitement. "Really?  Then we can go to my room." He kissed her and led her to the stairs. They sat on his bed, and his eager caresses started again. "What made you change your mind? Wait, don't tell me," he whispered, kissing along her jaw.  "It's because of what I said, isn't it? You don't want to lose me. You're afraid, so you thought we should do it before it's too late, right?"

She clutched her fist on the pillow and threw it at his head. Then she headed for the door fuming.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "Where are you going?"

"When you learn to be romantic, you can come and see me. But until then, don't even bother," she said angrily, slamming the door on her way out.

He fell down on the bed, frustrated, and muttered, "Women… I'll never get them…"

------------------------------

Things would never be easy for Lucius, and perhaps that was what Muggles called divine justice. He deserved everything that was heading his way because of his past actions. There would always be something blocking his way to full happiness. He and James hadn't solved all of their problems yet, but they were almost there. 

James was acting so amorous and lovely around him that the thought of leaving now broke Lucius' heart. But what could he do? He had to go after Draco. He couldn't leave his son alone in a time like this. Draco was counting on him, and for the first time Lucius wanted to do things right and be a real hero for his son. 

He would have to ask for Voldemort's mercy, and he knew it would be difficult. If Lucius managed to gain a second chance, then he would have to face all sorts of cruel punishments, and he'd have to endure them all. He was counting on Draco to make Voldemort accept him back, even though his son wouldn't be himself anymore. It was a shot in the dark, and he would have to face it for his son. After all, Draco was in that situation because of him. Wasn't that what Narcissa said – no, shouted – to him? She blamed Lucius for everything. Lucius was never a good father. He allowed Voldemort to control their son and take him away. Lucius shouted at her, too. Where was she when everything happened? She had left her son to be with a criminal. She wasn't a good mother, either. They threw accusations at each other for a long time, until they realised it was useless to fight. They were both to blame, and it wasn't fair for Draco to pay for their sins. Lucius should go and save their son. Only then could his soul rest in peace. 

_"You sound like you're already dead," Narcissa had said to him._

_"Maybe I am. Or will be. I don't know what Lord Voldemort will do to me." _

She hadn't replied or said anything, but he saw compassion in her eyes for the first time. She didn't like him, but she knew how difficult his mission was, and that he might not come back from it alive. Throughout their marriage, she had wished his death many times, but now she pitied him. Lucius was never a happy man. He had only met suffering and pain in his life. 

One week after Draco's kidnapping and Lucius was ready to leave Hogwarts – where he had been staying since the day he had performed the incantation that had united James' lost soul. He'd have to go to Hogsmeade and Apparate from there to a place near Voldemort's fortress. If truth be told, he was scared. He knew Voldemort wouldn't receive him with a welcome party. But for his son, he'd endure everything that was coming his way. It was time for him to stop being so selfish. So far he'd only thought about his welfare.  Not anymore. This time he would do something good with his life once and for all. 

He put on his cloak and was about to leave his room when James entered. Lucius felt uneasy. They hadn't been alone ever since James had awakened. It wasn't as if Lucius didn't want to be alone with him. In fact, he'd desperately needed the comfort of James' body. But he didn't know how James felt about it, even if the brunette was treating him a lot better. He didn't want to risk another rejection. He also couldn't help the thought that the entire situation was making him a pathetic sentimental man. It was a tragedy. 

James' gaze pierced through him but he didn't look away. He wasn't that kind of man. 

"Where are you going?" James asked, blocking the door.

"Out," Lucius answered, feeling chills down his spine. He didn't like the way James was looking at him.  "You're in my way."

James raised an eyebrow. "Out you say. But that wasn't what I asked. _Where_ are you going?"

"Does it matter?"

"How can you even ask that?" James sneered. "I do enjoy our cat-mouse game, but not today. You have been avoiding me and I don't know why. I thought–"

"Avoiding you?" Lucius smirked. "I don't even have time to think about you. I already set your soul free from Lord Voldemort. You don't need me anymore. My only concern now is Draco. I'm sure you can understand that."

James clutched his fists. "I understand a lot of things."

Lucius swallowed hard. "Good. You aren't as dumb as I thought. Now, let me pass."

James crossed his arms and didn't leave his spot. "I still have a lot to say."

"Then you'll have to wait. I have to go." Lucius tried to pass but James didn't let him. "Potter, don't put my patience to the test. You won't like the results."

James got closer to Lucius, who flinched. James' eyes looked dangerous. He grabbed Lucius' arms and pinned them on the wall. Lucius couldn't help the feeling of arousal that ran through his body. Their eyes didn't leave one another. Their lips were almost touching. Lucius could feel James' strong desire for him in every pore. 

"We'll settle this once and for all," James muttered against Lucius' mouth. 

Lucius smirked. "Now you tell me, and now it's not the time. As usual, you're terribly late."

"You won't leave this room. I'll keep you here even if I have to tie you up."

Lucius felt his pleasure growing at those words. "I always knew you liked it rough."

"I'm serious, Lucius. I won't let you go to Voldemort!" James said seriously. "It's a stupid idea. You'll help Draco more if you stay here. After all, if you go to Voldemort as you plan, you'll be killed. I can't let you do that to yourself. I can't let you risk your life."

Lucius was taken aback for a moment, and he pulled away from James. "How did you know? Did my sweet wife tell you? That..."

"No. Narcissa is being very loyal to you, God knows why. She didn't tell me anything. I know _you_. It only took one glance to realise what you were planning to do. I saw the determination in your eyes. But after everything, I can't lose you. Not now!"

Lucius flinched. He wasn't the only one with a strong will in this room. 

"This has nothing to do with you," he said quietly.

"Stop denying the obvious!" James shouted. "We belong to each other. What you do has everything to do with me!"

"Don't talk nonsense! You couldn't bear to be near me. You were the one who denied what was going on between us. And now..."

"Now I finally woke up and see what's really important in this life. I let you go once, but not this time."

"Go to hell, Potter! You can't hold me here. I'll hurt you if you don't get out of my way!"

"You know you're going into a suicidal mission! He'll kill you! He won't show you any mercy. Do you really think Voldemort will forgive you? He's a monster! He'll probably order Draco to finish you off. Is that what you want? Do you want to place such a burden upon Draco's shoulders?"

"Of course not, but what choice do I have?" Lucius bellowed. "I let him down so many times! I can't abandon him now, not when he needs me the most! Think about Harry and you'll understand what I'm talking about. If it was Harry in Draco's place, would you leave him alone?"

"I understand what you're trying to do, Lucius. I really do. But letting yourself get killed is not the answer. He needs you alive. Your sacrifice won't help him at all. This isn't the best way for you to expiate your sins."

Lucius was stunned by James' words. He didn't think James knew him that much. He turned to the window and looked up at the night sky. 

"This is my destiny," he muttered.

James stood next to him. "Don't be ridiculous." 

"Can't you see, James? I have to go."

James shook his head and held Lucius tightly. "No, you don't. I can't lose you again. I won't."

James kissed him fiercely and Lucius tasted James' tears on his lips. He decided then that that was the right moment for them to finally surrender into each others' arms. Lucius was determined to go, so he should enjoy that night beside James. It could be their last. When he walked out of the door, he might never see James again. 

He felt tears in his eyes and he returned James' kiss with the same intensity. That would be it. Just one more night…

---------------------------------

Narcissa watched Lucius vanishing away into the misty night, and for the first time in her life she felt sorry for him. She knew his task was difficult, but like him, she couldn't find any other way to protect her son. Lucius would know what to do. He had grown up in that environment after all. He would find a way to make Voldemort accept him. He was a Malfoy. He was born able to _deceive_. It was his trademark. 

"He really went," said Sirius behind her.

She turned around to face him and nodded. "Yes."

"Do you really think it is better this way? I mean, there are many spies in Voldemort's fortress."

And Remus was one of them. Sirius didn't mention his name, but it was implicit in his words. She felt angry, but also sad. Her instincts had been telling her that Sirius didn't love her as he used to, that his heart was divided between her and his childhood friend. She also knew, deep inside of her, that something had happened between Sirius and Remus, but she didn't want to ask him. She had her own problems to deal with. Her son was her priority. 

"There are too many spies… Some of them will be caught," she said. "I think Remus…"

"Remus will be all right," he said firmly. "He's a werewolf."

She frowned. "He's too kind to be a spy. Voldemort will see right through him."

"Don't say that! No one will suspect him."

"But Sirius… Pettigrew is there. He won't be so happy to see Remus. Don't you think he'll suspect something? Don't you think he'll poison Voldemort against Remus?" 

He turned his back on her, upset. "What do you want me to do? I cursed him already for being so damn stupid! Even I suspect him! He went with that Alex Lestrange, and that bloke was no good. I don't know what he was thinking…"

"Don't you?"

Sirius closed his eyes, hurt. He was afraid that Remus had gone away because of him. He regretted his coldness towards Remus. But if he could go back in time, he would have done the same. He was a coward when it came to his feelings towards Remus. He remembered how angry he had been when he had seen Remus kissing another boy, and how fast his feelings had switched to Narcissa instead. He was never able to admit what he really felt for Remus. He was still torn.

He looked at Narcissa and saw her sad face. He hugged her. "We'll rescue Draco."

She pulled away softly and said, "I'm not just sad because of Draco. I'm sad because of you. You're so blind…"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think it's time for you to admit what you really feel?"

He crossed his arms. "I don't understand."

"You're a smart man, Sirius. You'll figure it out. He isn't fragile, but he has this kindness in his eyes that he can't hide. He might die. And I have the feeling that he only went away because of you. He's waiting for you."

His eyes flinched, and he felt a pang in his heart. "I love you."

"I know you do. But you also love him. You loved him long before you loved me."

"Sissy…"

She shushed him and kissed him gently on the lips. "All I want now is my son's safety. Draco is the most important person in my life. Who's the most important person in yours, Sirius? I'm only mad at you now because you're being a coward and choosing the easy way out. This isn't you."

He stood in the same spot she had left him for many hours, lost in endless memories about Remus and him. His heart bled, because he still didn't know what to do to bring Remus back to him. 

----------------------------------

"Wait up!" 

Lucius was almost in Hogsmeade when he heard the familiar voice shouting for him. He thought he was seeing an illusion, but the James who stopped next to him, out of breath and tired, was very real. 

"James, what…?"

"If you go, I'll go with you!" James said determinately. 

"Are you mad?"

"Yes. I was mad when I fell in love with you, wasn't I? Did you really think I'd let you go after you told me you love me?"

Lucius flushed. "You heard me…"

"Yes, I heard you."

"Sneaky bastard! You were awake!" 

"Yes, and I decided right then and there that if you have to go, I'll go with you."

"You can't," Lucius said, horrified. "I can still put on a show, but you… He'll kill you for sure."

"I can't be away from you."

"You lived without me all this time…"

"No, I didn't. I wasn't really alive, remember? I was numb. You were the one who rescued my soul."

Lucius sighed. "Don't be sappy…" But James' words were making his cold heart melt. 

"Stay with me."

"We had this conversation before!" Lucius exclaimed, upset.

"No, we didn't!"

"It's Draco, James. It's my son. I need to know what Voldemort is planning for him. If it was Harry, you wouldn't be having this conversation with me either. You'd be long gone."

"Then take me with you. Offer me to them. This way Voldemort will forgive you for sure. You can tell him you were only deceiving Dumbledore in order to get me to him."

Lucius shook his head. "Even if he bought that, I couldn't do this to you."

"He won't kill me right away. He needs me to lure Harry."

Lucius stared at him, stunned. "Who's the Slytherin here?"

"Take me with you."

"NO!"

"You're a Slytherin, remember?"

"But I won't do this. I won't risk your life. Maybe… maybe I would have done something like this before. But now… You'd be a distraction. My thoughts would be on you, and he'd notice it. I can't take you. I won't. It's too risky."

"Then stay. We can think of something else. Remus is there, and I heard there's a friend of Draco with him. You can find out about Voldemort's plans without having to ask him directly. You have contacts, don't you? You know a lot of people by his side who would betray him for a few galleons. There's another way, Lucius. You don't have to sacrifice yourself."

It was a good idea. Lucius did know at least two or three of his ex-Death Eater's pals who would sell him information about Voldemort. It'd still be risky, but he knew how to defend himself from those guys. And by the look of things, James would be his backup whether he wanted it or not. 

"I suppose I can think about it…" he said.

James hugged him tightly. "So you're staying."

"For the moment," Lucius said, wrapping his arms around James' waist. "You're really annoying."

James smiled. "I'm just a man in love."

"Just shut up…" Lucius pushed James away but smiled at him. 

They went back to the castle together, making plans for their next step. Lucius was touched by James' worry for him. For the first time in his life, he felt loved, and it was a wonderful feeling. He smiled, thinking that he would have more than just one night with James now. They would share every night together. 

TBC

A/N: The title screams: **Phil Collins**. I love his song One More Night. 


	15. Heart to Heart Conversation

Disclaimer: No, the characters don't belong to me. I wish. Pollyanna doesn't belong to me either. She's a character from the book Pollyanna, by Eleanor H. Porter. Pollyanna is also a children's book. Pollyanna is the kind of girl who always looks at the bright side of things. Hmm… Where does she fit in the story? You'll see. I only mention her once. It isn't important, but it is important to put her in the disclaimer, because she's a real character. 

I dedicate this chapter to my beta reader **Jamie**, because I added a Harry/Severus' scene for her. ^_~

What else? Does anyone even read these authors' notes? I want to thank everyone in the group for supporting me and my crazy stories for so long! The group is so big! THANK YOU! Thanks to the reviewers of ff.net too, especially those who has been reading this for ages and still haven't given up on me!

And here it is, the new Draco Malfoy. Enjoy!

Ch. 15 – **HEART TO HEART CONVERSATION**

Pettigrew was going mad. He spent his days and nights thinking of a way to run away from the hell he had gotten himself into, but he found no other alternative but to stay at Voldemort's side. He hated the Black Fortress. Once, he thought that Lord Voldemort would make him his right hand man, the one in charge, but oh, how he was wrong. Instead, the Dark Lord had been training Draco Malfoy, the spoiled-brat, to be the first in command. It was outrageous. Not so long ago, the kid had been sleeping with Harry Potter. How could he be Voldemort's protégé now?

The Dark Lord should be even more careful when around Draco, because a Seer had told them that Malfoy's part in the play wasn't clear yet. He could be used for the better. The Dark Lord was confident that Draco would be used for the worst, but Pettigrew wasn't so sure. Even so, it was true that they could use Draco to lure Harry to their hideout. 

Draco wasn't the only one he should worry about. One of his enemies had joined the Death Eaters. Remus Lupin was constantly watching his every move. Pettigrew was terrified of the werewolf. He had tried to convince Lord Voldemort that Lupin wasn't reliable, but with no avail. Because of that, he was constantly looking over his shoulders, paying attention to everything suspicious.

Pettigrew couldn't understand the Dark Lord's plans, and he hated to be kept in the dark. Soon there would be no place to hide. In his opinion, Lord Voldemort was becoming more and more insane, so he wouldn't protect Pettigrew anymore. Draco was getting on his nerves with his absurd demands, and Lupin's constant watch was giving him chills. He didn't sleep at night. He kept his eyes widely open just in case someone entered his room to kill him. 

"Pettigrew, Malfoy is waiting!" shouted someone, making Pettigrew jump with fright. 

"I'm coming," Pettigrew said, muttering nasty words under his breath. 

He took the silver tray carefully and walked to Malfoy's bedchamber. As it usually happened when he entered that room, he felt mesmerized by how big and beautiful it was. Thanks to Pansy, Malfoy had taken one of the best rooms in the Black Fortress, while Pettigrew – the _real_ loyal servant – had taken just an ordinary room. He couldn't help the bitter thought crossing his mind. Malfoy had taken everything that was supposed to be his. 

The brat was spread on the couch – the bloody bastard had a couch of his own! – and he seemed to be taking a nap. Pettigrew shot him a murderous look, and just for a moment, he thought of pointing his wand at Malfoy and killing him. He actually had his hand on his wand when Malfoy opened his eyes and smirked like he knew exactly what Pettigrew was thinking.

"Don't even think about it, _worm_," Draco said with his most deadly tone of voice. "I can kill you faster than you can cry for help."

Pettigrew's entire body started to shake uncontrollably, and the tray he was holding fell to the floor with a loud noise, spilling hot coffee on the carpet. His cowardice and clumsiness seemed to amuse Draco, but the blond boy also looked upset. 

"Although I find your comedy show funny every now and then, you know how much I _hate_ to see a good Colombian coffee going to waste. Clean that up _immediately_," Draco ordered coldly. Pettigrew gripped his wand tightly, ready to wipe the dirt away, but Draco cast _Expelliarmus_ and caught it._ "Without_ using magic. I would order you to use your tongue, but the image makes me sick to my stomach."

Pettigrew swallowed the nasty words that were at the tip of his tongue. He knelt down to pick up his mess and Draco kicked his butt. The brat dared to laugh at him. 

"You're taking too long!" 

Pettigrew picked up everything and walked quickly out of the room before Draco kicked him again.

"There's still coffee all over my very expensive Persian tapestry," Draco said.

"I'll clean it all up in a minute," Pettigrew muttered.

He felt Draco's wand on his back and he gulped. "You forgot the magical word," Draco hissed.

"I'll c-clean it u-up in a m-minute, _M-Master_," Pettigrew stuttered, darting out of the room as if he was being chased by demons.

Draco shook his head and smirked at the pathetic figure running down the hallway. He went back to his room and dressed up all in black. He looked at his image through the mirror and frowned. He was thinner than he remembered. But then again, he couldn't remember much of his past. The last thing he could remember was waking up as a giant slug in the Hogwarts Express, and his father berating him for being beaten up once again by Harry Potter. 

Ever since that day, every memory of Hogwarts was very fuzzy inside his head. Draco was told that he didn't stay in Hogwarts for too long; that he joined the Death Eaters very soon just to be with his fiancée Pansy. He was also told that Potter had humiliated him in their last confrontation, and it was because of that encounter that Draco had lost his memory of the past half year. 

He clutched his fists, his eyes turning to a dark shade of grey. Pansy had told him that his obsession in that blank period of his life was to destroy Harry Potter. Draco could totally understand that. The Golden Boy had always been an annoyance in his life. It was because of Potter that he had endured many scolds from his father. It was because of Potter that Draco had learned how to _feel_. That was what was bothering him the most. 

It seemed that his hate for the Boy-Who-Lived had increased. He could feel hatred in every pore of his body. He felt the anger rising every time he thought about Potter, and he couldn't help the need to murder him. That strong need for Potter's blood was something that surprised him. Never before had he felt such a need. He remembered hating Potter. It was something hard to forget. They had always been rivals, ever since Potter had refused to shake hands with him. But he didn't remember wanting to kill him so much. He didn't remember hating Potter with such intensity. 

Hate wasn't the only thing he felt, which unsettled him the most. He didn't only feel hate for Potter. He _lusted_ for him. It seemed as if his desire had increased in the same proportion as his hate. He had a picture of Potter among his belongings. _Why?_ He had no idea. He only knew that he had to be very careful about it, because he didn't feel like throwing it away. 

He looked at his right hand and caressed the silver ring on his annular finger. The snake-shaped ring was another mystery to him. He didn't know where he bought it. He wanted to ask Pansy about it – she seemed to know so much about the blank period of his life – but he never did it. There was a voice inside of him telling him to keep that to himself. 

He was fascinated by the ring. Every time he looked at him, he felt entranced. The snake's green eyes seemed to hypnotise him. They looked so much like Harry's eyes... Draco opened his eyes wide, shocked by the inappropriate thought. He shook his head to get himself out of that dangerous trance. Why did he always think about Potter? He wasn't a puff, as far as he could remember. That was the problem. He _didn't_ remember. If the way Zabini looked at him was any indication, perhaps Draco did have homosexual impulses, because he _liked_ the intense stare. 

He took a deep breath and told himself to get a grip. He had a fiancée. He would marry her soon. It was true that he didn't like Pansy. She was annoying and not so cute when she threw her fits, which happened all the time. But she was Voldemort's granddaughter. Draco could be very powerful after their marriage. Power was something that he had always wanted. He would be as powerful as Lord Voldemort, and he would crush anyone who dared to oppose him, even Voldemort. He'd do anything to reach his goal. He would still make his father proud of him. 

He still couldn't understand the reason why his father had betrayed Voldemort to join the Order of Phoenix, but he didn't care. He knew his father very well. If Lucius had joined the Order, he had his motives. Like Lucius, Draco didn't care about Voldemort or his stupid beliefs. His father had been taught to care only about himself. 

But he had to keep the show running. He was very good at hiding his true feelings. He was always careful not to show how disgusting Voldemort was. He always put on his face of indifference when in Voldemort's presence. He couldn't let him know just how empty Draco felt most of the time, like something very important had been taken away from him leaving a void inside his heart. He had to keep the facade. 

A knock on his door took him out of his reverie, and Blaise entered a few seconds later with a very scared Pettigrew behind him. Draco made a gesture with his head for Blaise to follow him and left Pettigrew to clean up the carpet. 

They walked through the hallway silently, and Blaise only spoke his mind when they were inside Draco's office. 

"You should be careful with Wormtail. He's terribly jealous of you."

Draco shrugged. "Wormtail is harmless. He's no match for me."

Blaise arched his eyebrows. "I wouldn't be so sure. He has that creepy silver hand... Every time he thinks nobody is looking, he keeps muttering nasty things about you and how you stole his position. Like I said, you should be more careful."

"I think I can handle Wormtail, Zabini," Draco said coldly. "Just remember your place. We're not close friends."

Blaise smirked. "Of course, _Master_."

Draco smirked back. "I didn't like your tone of voice. Are you being sarcastic?"

"I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing," Blaise said with a sneer. 

"Good. What are our plans for today?"

"There's a meeting at 2pm. The Dark Lord needs you to convince some pure-blood families to join his cause. You can do whatever you want to persuade them. I had the impression that the Dark Lord _wants _them to resist, so you can make them squirm and squeak."

The corner of Draco's mouth lifted a little bit. "That's just like the old bastard. He loves resistance."

"He also wants you to go to the... Muggle Concentration Camp with him."

Blaise didn't look Draco in the eye, and that fact annoyed Draco. To him, Blaise was a mystery. He remembered quite well that he and Blaise weren't best friends at Hogwarts. As a matter of fact, he'd ignored Blaise most of the time, and if he remembered correctly, Blaise seemed to resent him. Now Blaise was his personal assistant. Blaise played the part of the perfect Slytherin in front of others and he seemed very loyal to Draco. At the same time that Blaise agreed fervently in Voldemort's believes, he let his mask slip when he was with Draco. Draco couldn't understand why, but he knew one thing for sure. In that kind of business, one should always watch his back. 

"You don't approve of it?" Draco asked with a fake innocence.

"It's not my place to approve of something that the Dark Lord created," Blaise answered carefully.

"But you don't like it, do you?" Draco stated, making Blaise slightly upset. 

"Like I said..."

"Cut the crap, Zabini! You should be more careful about your feelings. You seem to keep them to yourself pretty well when you're in Lord Voldemort's presence, but when you're with me... you just let them slip. Don't do that anymore."

Blaise stared at Draco, stunned and almost hopeful. "Draco...?"

"Don't call me that," Draco cut him off sharply. "It's Malfoy to you."

Blaise lowered his eyes and swallowed hard. For a moment he thought the old Draco was back.

"You seem to find it difficult to look me in the eyes," Draco pointed out, taking Blaise by surprise.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Tell me once again why I chose you to be my personal secretary," Draco requested.

Blaise froze but his voice didn't quiver when he said, "I saved you from Potter more than once. You told me I could work for you after that."

Draco's piercing look made Blaise shiver. 

"Were we lovers?"

Blaise gasped. That was the last thing he expected. "No," he answered without stuttering. He could have lied. It would be very interesting to see Draco's reaction to a positive answer, but somehow he couldn't. There was Seamus to think about. Even so, he was curious. "Why do you ask?"

Draco bit his lower lip. "Are you a queer?"

"Why?" Blaise asked, clutching his fists not to lose his calm posture. 

"You're always checking me out."

"I am not!" Blaise exclaimed, outraged.

Draco smiled maliciously. "Don't lie to me. I can see right through you. You want me."

Blaise looked down, almost exploding with rage. "Drop it, Malfoy. Why would I want someone like you?"

"Why not?" Draco said, smiling. "I'm blond and beautiful. I have a great smile, a very tasty body... I'm rich and stylish. I forgive you if you desire me. Who wouldn't?"

Blaise almost smiled. Some things would never change. Draco would always be conceited, with or without the controlling potion.

"Ok. That's enough for today. Just try not to ogle me when there're people around. It wouldn't look good." Draco took his cloak and put it on. "We have a lot of work to do. I need to talk to Goyle."

Blaise knew he was doing the wrong thing again, but he couldn't help but say, "You should also be careful with Goyle. Very careful."

Draco shot him a murderous look. "You seem to think I'm stupid, Zabini. What's wrong with you today? Are you on acid or something? Or is your lust for me melting your brain? Honestly... Who do you think you are? I very well know that Goyle is just Pansy's ugly puppet. I know he likes her, and I know that he'd feed me to dragons if he had a chance. He's a useful puppet though. Besides, I already told you. I can take care of myself."

Blaise nodded, not daring to look at Draco. If he did, Draco would see exactly what he was thinking of his speech. He should be more careful and keep his opinions to himself, but he never imagined it to be so difficult. He never thought he would miss the old Draco so much. Draco was right. He had to be more careful about his feelings. He couldn't jeopardise his mission, or he would be in trouble.

"Let's go. We're late. And keep your thoughts to yourself or you might get hurt," Draco warned as if he had read Blaise's mind.

Blaise's heart skipped a beat. Could it be that Draco was worried about him? Something that Blaise had noticed living with Draco for four weeks was that the controlling potion wasn't enough to kill off Draco's old personality entirely. There was still hope. Or perhaps Blaise was just seeing what he wanted to see.

"By the way," Draco said just before leaving the office. "I hate that place too."

Blaise smiled weakly, and almost sighed in relief. He was so certain that Draco didn't like the MCC (Muggle Concentration Camp), and now he knew for sure. There was no way someone in his right mind would like such a hideous place. 

If that was true, then not everything was lost. There was still hope for Draco indeed. 

-----------------------------

Severus wasn't supposed to be wandering through that particular corridor so late at night. It wasn't dangerous, but Peeves seemed to like that part of the castle a lot, and Severus didn't want to end up being a victim of one of the poltergeist's stupid pranks. He had too much on his mind already. Erin's labour was so close. Even though she kept telling him she was all right, he still worried. His students were complaining that he was harsher than usual, but he couldn't help it. That was the kind of man he was. He was too anxious, and that anxiety made him edgy. It was such a new situation for him. He didn't know how to react. Soon he would be a father. It was a very scary thought.

He also thought Erin was so delicate and small to have a child. He was afraid of losing her. What if something bad happened during her labour? What if there were complications? It was possible. For example, Lucius had told him that Narcissa had almost died while giving birth to Draco. Lucius had traumatised him for a lifetime with his horrible story. 

_Damn him._ Severus cursed Lucius' sadism. 

He put his hands in his pocket, thinking of ways to strike back. It was childish, but he considered doing something to James just to spite Lucius and make him learn a lesson. It seemed as if James Potter and Draco were Lucius' only weakness. Since Severus didn't like James, he figured that he could strike two birds with one stone. Lucius would pay for making him even tenser.

He was about to go back to his room when he saw something through the window of the third floor. There was someone struggling to break his way into the thick snow. Someone _invisible_. Perhaps he was seeing too much – or less. Maybe there _was_ nothing out there. He blinked a few times and narrowed his eyes. 

There it was. Thanks to the bright moonlight, he clearly saw marks of footsteps being printed in the snow; footsteps of someone foolish enough to go out in such a cold weather. He couldn't believe his eyes. The first thing that crossed his mind was that the footsteps belonged to a Death Eater. Then he frowned. There was only one man after Severus who could make an Invisibility potion, and that man didn't work for Voldemort, unless he was very mistaken. His brain worked furiously. He knew only _one_ person in _Hogwarts_ who had an Invisibility cloak, though. And that person _was_ foolish. He clutched his fists and darted to the stairs. He didn't know how he was able to run so fast, get ready to face the cold before going out and catch the sneaky bastard in just a few minutes.

The invisible person struggled against him at first, but Severus was stronger and very scary when he was angry. The person gave up the fight, and Severus took off the cloak that was protecting the little idiot and stared furiously at Harry Potter. 

"What in Merlin's name..." Severus started but was cut off by a sudden wind blast. It began to snow and soon they were covered in white. Severus swore under his breath. He gripped Harry's arms and dragged him to Hagrid's hut, shoving the boy inside. "Fuck!" He stared at the pathetic figure of the boy lying on the ground, looking like a wet little puppy lost and confused, and sighed. 

"Strip," he ordered.

Harry's eyes opened up as widely as they could. Harry's expression was comic but also outrageous. Severus didn't know if he should laugh or bash him in the head. He knew exactly what the boy was thinking. 

"Don't worry, Potter. I'm not a pervert on top of everything else nasty that you think of me."

"Then why..."

"Do you want to get a cold? Because that's what you'll get if you don't take off those wet clothes."

Harry stared at Severus intently. "Don't you know a drying spell or something?"

Severus grimaced. "I do, but if I cast it in your clothes while they are on you, there's a risk you'll be burnt. Of course, there was never hard evidence about it. If you want to be my rat lab and be the first to test the theory, who am I to deny one's wishes?" 

Severus pointed his wand at Harry with the familiar expressionless face, and Harry quickly stripped from his clothes except for his underwear. He would never be naked in front of Snape. He stared at the older man extremely upset and tossed his clothes on the floor.

"There. Burn them if you want to," Harry said childishly. 

"Don't tempt me," Severus muttered, taking his own wet clothes off. 

Harry instantly turned his back to him, his face burning. He would _not_ look at Snape stripping. It was an image that would give him nightmares. What was the old man thinking anyway? He could be arrested for molesting a child! Harry could only imagine his father's reaction if he caught them. His father would be infuriated. His lips lifted at the corner of his mouth. It was such a funny image that he couldn't help but smile. 

He glanced at Severus from the corner of his eyes and what he saw took his breath away. He wasn't prepared to see such a gorgeous body. Draco was right. Severus _was_ very attractive. He felt his face even hotter, and he knew he was blushing like a school girl. He turned his head away quickly, but Severus caught his look.

Severus arched an eyebrow. "What? Do you find my scars so disgusting you can't even look at them?"

Scars? Harry hadn't seen any scars. Because the room was barely lit by candle-light, he couldn't see much in details. He turned around again and stared at Severus' back. There were a few scars in it, but Harry didn't find them disgusting. They actually made Severus look even sexier. 

"Are you satisfied now that you've taken a closer look at them?" Severus asked coldly. 

Harry blushed again and turned his head away. "Sorry."

"You have many things to feel sorry for, Potter. This is nothing compared to the fact that you were out at this time of night when you were forbidden to step outside Hogwarts without an escort," Severus said, tossing Harry's clothes back to him. "Put them on. They are dry now."

Harry could feel the warmth embracing him when he put his clothes back on. He wanted to show gratitude to Severus, but it was very hard to do it. Severus had always tried to make his life in Hogwarts as miserable as possible. It was hard to admit that the old bat had a human side. He also knew Severus would soon start giving him a speech about how dangerous the situation was, and how stupid and irresponsible Harry was. Harry wasn't wrong in his assumptions. The moment Severus finished dressing up he turned to Harry and started yelling at him. 

"What the hell were you thinking? Going out like this... in such weather... And to the Dark Forest nonetheless! Because I _know_ you were heading for the Dark Forest! Stupid and foolish, that's what you are! Everyone tries so hard to protect you, and this is how you repay them! Lupin is risking his life to be a spy!" Severus roared. 

"I never asked any of them for protection!" Harry exclaimed, upset.

"Aren't you an ungrateful spoiled-brat?" Severus grimaced. "They do it because they like you, Lord knows why. Where were you going?"

 "It's none of your business," Harry replied insolently. "Where's Hagrid anyway? And Fang?"

Severus counted to ten and tried not to hit him. "Fang is in the castle, because Hagrid is working on a mission for the Order. He's another fool trying to protect you. You don't need to know about it, and it isn't as if you care anyway."

It would have hurt less if Severus slapped Harry. The boy felt ashamed of himself. In a way, Severus was right in calling his attention. But it wasn't as if Harry could control his emotions. He couldn't stand to be watched 24/7 and not do anything to save Draco. He missed the blond Slytherin, so much that it ached.

Severus sighed at Harry's lost expression. "Draco didn't ask you to come after him, did he?"

Harry made a face. "Why are you assuming that I was going after–?"

Severus cut across him, "It's obvious you were trying to go after him. I just don't know how exactly you intended to reach him. The Dark Forest won't get you anywhere. To enter that place would be suicide. You wouldn't be saving Draco, just sparing Voldemort the trouble to kill you himself."

"I..." Harry tried to defend himself without any chance. 

"Do you know what your problem is, Potter?" Severus cut Harry off again. "You don't think about your actions. You just let your heart guide you. Well, let me tell you something. Your heart can't be trusted in times of war. One careless mistake and you're finished. You won't be able to help Draco or anyone else if you're dead."

Harry looked down and bit his lower lip. He wanted to shout at Severus to let him go, to let him do to his life whatever he wanted, but he knew Severus was right for once. It was careless of him to go out like that without a plan on his mind. Just because he'd heard of winged horses called thestrals living inside the forest that could get him anywhere he wanted to go, it didn't mean he'd actually find them just like that. It also didn't mean the creature would obey him easily. 

But even so, he hated to be scolded by _Snape_ of all people.

"Why do you care? You don't like me anyway," Harry replied angrily. 

Severus clenched his fists; he really didn't want to hit the boy. "Do I have reasons to like you? You've done nothing but make _my_ life a living hell ever since you got here. I try so hard to watch over you, but you don't make my job easy even for a second. And did you ever thank me for saving you so many times?" he breathed hard, trying to keep himself together. "I don't dislike you, though, it doesn't matter that you _are_ annoying and irresponsible. I promised your mother I would protect you. You can fight and struggle as much as you want, but I won't back down. I'm a man of my word. I don't make promises lightly."

That took Harry totally by surprise. It was the last thing he expected to hear from Severus. The mention of his mother made him remember that the cold and mysterious man in front of him was Lily's beloved. Harry had tried very hard not to think about it. It was quite disturbing. But now his curiosity had gotten to the surface again. 

"You knew my mother, right?" Harry began carefully.

Severus' eyes narrowed and he gave his back to Harry. "You could say that."

Harry licked his lips. "Were you her friend?" What he really wanted to ask was if they were lovers, but for one thing, he didn't have the courage to ask such a personal question. For another, he didn't really want to know, did he? After seeing Severus half-naked, though, he could understand what Lily had seen in him. 

"I made her a very serious promise," Severus grimaced. "What does this promise tell you?"

Harry held the urge to stick out his tongue at him. "I just want to know more about her. _Voldemort_ was the only one who actually told me something, and his revelations were shocking, to say the least. I liked the image I had created of her in my head. She would be the kind of mother who would bake cookies for me, ask me to set my clothes in order, tell me to take a jacket when I was going out and tell me not to come home too late…" Harry's eyes shone brightly with unshed tears. "I had no idea… The things he said."

Severus sighed. He didn't like where the conversation was going at all. He didn't know how to deal with it. He would panic if Harry started to cry in front of him. He wasn't the most indicated person to listen to other people's problems. But unfortunately, he was the only one in the room. They were stuck up together for the rest of the night, because there was no way to go back to the castle. It was snowing too hard. 

He stared at Harry, thinking of what to say. He pitied the boy. He also did want to know what it was like to have a mother like that, so he could understand Harry's feelings. He was sure Lily would be just like that if she had had the chance. Severus didn't know exactly what Voldemort had told him, but at least he could assure Harry of the things _he_ knew about her. 

He pointed his wand at the fireplace to warm them and as he watched the enchanting flames, he began quietly, "Your mother… was a decent Gryffindor. She was the Pollyanna type of girl, if you get what I mean. She was very optimistic. Her presence was very soothing." Severus' eyes got lost in a past he had desperately tried to forget. "But I wasn't exactly Mr. Sociable. As much as she tried to be friends with me, I never let her get too close."

"Did you like her?" asked Harry softly, remembering his father's words. Lily never knew if Severus had loved her. 

Severus smiled feebly, but because he had his back to Harry, the boy didn't see it. He had loved her more than anything in the world. He just didn't know how to express it. He'd never tell something so personal to Harry though. "I got used to her. She was always around me, trying to break my ice wall. She was convinced that her mission was to make me a friendly person. I was her charity case, to speak."

"She failed, of course," Harry muttered without thinking.

Severus frowned, glaring at Harry. "What did you say?"

Harry gulped, suddenly realising what he had just let slip. "Nothing," he mumbled quickly. 

Severus didn't seem to believe him, but went on with his story anyway. "One day I was assigned to tutor her in Potions. She was very lousy at it, even more than you." Severus seemed thoughtful, and Harry had an idea of what he was about to say. He wasn't wrong. "I guess it must be what Muggles call genetic, huh?" Harry made a face. "We became friends because of the circumstances we were in. She was a good girl. It was hard not to…" _Fall in love with her._ "She was very charming, Potter. She grew on you in a way that you couldn't be away from her anymore." Severus sighed heavily. He had said enough, hadn't he? That should be enough to appease Harry's curiosity. 

But it wasn't enough. Harry wanted to ask him much more. 

"If she was such a good person, why did she join _him_?" Harry asked.

Severus glanced at him for a moment, and he could see in Harry's big green eyes – that were so much like Lily's – the confusion mixed up with anger and sadness. He felt a pang in his heart. That was why he had always felt uptight around Harry. His eyes reminded him too much of Lily. When he stared into those emerald orbs, he couldn't show any resistance. 

"Your mother was never a Death Eater. Death Eaters are supposed to be very vicious. They must be able to betray enemies and friends, blackmail, torture and kill – muggles or wizards. Lily carried the mark, but she never did any of those things. She had no idea what Voldemort's real goal was. She thought he was only fighting against an unfair political system." Severus smirked. "Voldemort told her he was building a law to bring equality to all the magical creatures. She thought it was the right thing to fight for. She was, of course, thinking about Lupin. But when she realised it was all an act, she jumped out. She turned against Voldemort."

"Where did you fit in all of this?" Harry asked.

Severus instantly turned to stare at him with his most deadly look. "We aren't talking about me."

His look was the cue for Harry to drop it, but Harry wasn't scared easily. "But I want to know." He needed to know. He wanted to know more about the man his mother had loved so much. He wanted to make sure Severus really wasn't a bad guy, just someone in a very bad mood. 

"It's enough, Potter," Severus said with a phoney coolness. Harry knew it was only an act. Severus was ready to explode. 

Harry looked down, admitting his defeat. "Can I ask you one more thing? What about the fact that Voldemort claims to be her father?" 

 "She never knew for sure," Severus said expressionless. "Besides, he wasn't really a father, was he? He isn't even human anymore."

Harry thought exactly that, and it was scary to have something in common with Snape. But he also couldn't help to think that he would have to fight and kill someone that could be his grandfather. It was too much for him. 

He caught Severus looking at him and he realised that he couldn't ask anything more about Lily or Voldemort. That look was a threat for Harry to keep his mouth closed from now on. Severus had said too much already. Harry was actually quite surprised about Severus' sudden disposition to talk and help him sooth his heart. 

"You didn't even take house points from me!" Harry voiced his thoughts aloud. 

Severus smirked. "Thanks for reminding me. Fifth points from Gryffindor, and a week of detention. I should be with my wife, Potter. If she delivers while I'm here, you'll be cursed forever. Detention will be a walk in the park next to what I'll do to you."

Harry sulked. He knew Severus meant that. He cursed his big mouth for not holding his thoughts. It was very cold. He wrapped his arms around himself and lay down on the couch, sighing deeply. He couldn't believe he was stuck with Snape for the night. As the minutes flew by, his mind drifted to Draco. He missed Draco so much he thought he wouldn't make it. Nothing mattered when Draco wasn't around, teasing him like he used to. He even missed the way Draco sneered.

The silence filled up the room, and Harry felt out of breath. He couldn't stand that quietness. 

"I miss him," he muttered, staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace. 

Severus glanced at him and quickly averted Harry's eyes. He prayed again for the boy not to cry. It would be such an awkward situation if that happened, because Severus wouldn't know what to do. Potter was such a troublesome boy. No, not boy, Severus thought as he looked at Harry again. Harry was growing up. His features were more of a young man. He still looked at lot like James, but when he smiled, he looked like Lily. Sometimes in Potions class, when the light set upon his face at a certain angle, he also reminded Severus of Lily. Those times were very painful to him. To look at Harry for too long was to open very old wounds. Those were the times he called Harry's attention in class, even if he wasn't doing anything. It was a way to get that pain out of his system. 

"I can't live without him," Harry whispered.

Severus frowned, wondering if he should remind Harry that he was Severus Snape – the old greasy bat – and not his personal confidant. Severus didn't say anything though. He let Harry talk, and talk, until he was very sleepy and tired.

"I'm sorry," Harry said after opening his heart. Severus almost laughed at his expression. Harry was shocked to have said so much about himself to a person like him. "I'm really sorry. I... don't know what I was thinking."

"But you never do. That's your problem," Severus said, leaning his head against the armchair and closing his eyes. "I wouldn't be so worried about him if I were you. Draco knows how to take care of himself very well. And it isn't like he's in danger. He isn't a prisoner in Voldemort's fortress. If he saw you there, he would probably hand you over to Voldemort."

"I don't believe that," Harry replied not so sure.

"I'm more worried about you than him. He's not a Hufflepuff."

Harry blinked a few times. "Did you really say you're _worried_ about _me_?" 

Severus opened his eyes, a bitter taste in his mouth. He couldn't believe he had actually said that. It had to be his father-to-be instincts kicking in. "Do you really want to know why I'm not so worried about Draco?"

Harry definitely wanted to know that, but he also wanted to know why Severus was worried about him. He didn't push it though. He knew how Severus' bad temper worked. "Yes," he answered.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you this... but since you poured out your heart to me... I received Zabini's last report about Draco four days ago."

Harry almost jumped out of the couch. "How many reports have you received so far?"

"Does it matter?"

Harry felt like going for his throat. "Of course it does! Everything about Draco concerns me! If you cared to inform me, than we wouldn't be here today! No one tells me anything. You lot keep me in the dark. What am I suppose to do?"

"Running to the Dark Forest won't get you anywhere," Severus said, his anger matching Harry's.

"But if you have told me..."

"Would you listen? I'm telling you now!" Severus paced around the room trying to control his fury. "There is some good news. Zabini said Draco has been showing a few traces of his old personality from before you two got together."

"How is that good?"

"The controlling potion was supposed to make his personality worse, but it isn't working. The only thing it did so far successfully was to erase Draco's memories of your relationship. The Draco from before is just a very vicious Slytherin, that's all."

"That isn't good at all," Harry scowled. "He doesn't remember me?"

"He does. But he remembers you from before you two became... you know.  And would you stop pouting? It's ridiculous. Start acting more like an adult, for Merlin's sake. How do you expect me to stop treating you like a child if you don't stop behaving like one?"

"Am I supposed to be happy with what you just said?" Harry asked incredulously. 

"You should be a little more optimistic. It is good news. It means the potion isn't working as it was supposed to. It means Draco can fight it alone. He might not even need a healing potion."

It was indeed good news, but somehow Harry couldn't soothe his heart with just that.

"Why isn't the potion working?" he asked.

"It's a new formula. There's no way the maker can precise exactly what it will do to the drinker."

Harry's heart beat fast as a terrible thought crossed his mind. "Then it also means that he might get killed because of it."

Severus had thought of that. It was a possibility. But he didn't believe it.

"I don't think so," he said. "You saw the side effects with your own eyes. They weren't so nice, I admit it, but if the potion was supposed to kill, it would have done it by now."

_"Not so nice?"_ Harry was about to explode. "It was terrible to watch! He suffered so much!"

"He's not suffering anymore. I think that part of the potion's effects is over. But don't worry. Zabini is bit by bit feeding me with information about the controlling potion. I think I'll have something to heal Draco soon."

"By then it might be too late." Harry paced around the room, too nervous to be still. "You know I'll try to go after him again, right? I can't help myself, especially now. I have to see with my own eyes if he's ok. Perhaps if he sees me he'll have his memory back."

Severus breathed heavily to calm himself down. "It's very romantic, Potter, but also very foolish. Stop talking nonsense! You won't go anywhere as long as I'm keeping my eyes on you. Draco is a Slytherin. He'll do better than you. If it wasn't for my promise to your mother, I wouldn't stop you. You can kill yourself for all I care. But I did make her that promise and I intend to keep it until I die."

"Well, I release you from it," Harry shouted. "I don't need _you_ to take care of me! She must have been out of her mind when she asked you something like that! I bet she didn't know you would turn out to be such an unpleasant person. I bet she didn't think you would pick on me so much."

"There are too many people treating you as if you're made of glass. I won't be another one, because I don't think you need a pat on the back. Everyone spoils you too much already. Thanks to me you are what you are. You don't think of yourself as special, do you? I make you feel normal. I treat you as I treat anyone else."

"And what the fuck is that suppose to mean?" Harry tried very hard to understand what Severus was trying to say. 

Severus clenched his fists hard. "It means that I do care, stupid brat."

There was a long period of silence. The only thing that could be heard in the room was the sound of their breaths. 

"Then why... Why can't you be nice?" Harry asked.

"Because I don't know how," Severus answered with a sincerity that took Harry unguarded.

Harry just stood still, unable to move. Even breathing was hard. His heart was pounding against his chest painfully, making him more aware of everything around him. He didn't know what to say to that. Even if he tried, he doubted that he would be able to form a coherent sentence. Severus cared for him, in his own twisted way. He was bewildered.

He was taken out of his trance when Severus caught him in his arms. "What–" Harry muttered, his heart almost coming out of his mouth. Severus tossed him on the bed carelessly and they just stared at each other as if it was the first time they were actually seeing one another. Harry couldn't control his panting breath. He was scared, afraid that Severus would attack him somehow. But at the same time he felt excited, and he couldn't understand why. After a few more minutes, Severus gave his back to him and lay down on the couch, making Harry sighed in relief. Severus' throaty voice made him jump.

"It's late already. Go to sleep."

"Professor...?" Harry called, not knowing what to say.

Silence. 

"Do you really want me to leave you alone? Because if you do, I'll forget about my promise and you'll be on your own," Severus said.

That was the last thing Harry expected to hear. "I..." That was his chance. If he said yes, then he'd be free from Severus' constant vigilance. He stared at the ceiling, his mind screaming _'say yes, say yes!'_ "You said you're a man of word. You should keep your promise, then."

Did he really say that? He did. Why? He had no idea.

At the couch, Severus was also very confused about everything. He crossed his arm behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Was he supposed to say something back? He closed his eyes. It was better to just leave it alone and try to sleep.

"Professor...?" he heard Harry calling him again.

"What?" he snapped. 

"Isn't the couch to small for you?"

"Why, Potter," Severus smirked. "Are you inviting me to your bed?"

Harry gasped. Not in a million years. He shuddered. "Of course not!" He thought he heard Severus chuckled, but he couldn't be sure. "I'm just trying to be polite. You have a very dirty mind. Besides, the bed is big enough for both of us and..." Harry wanted to say that he was offering himself to take the couch because he was smaller, but Severus cut across him.

"First of all, I'm married. Second, you're not my type. And third, I'm going to hell for a lot of reasons, but children's molestation won't be one of them."

"I'm not a child!" Harry protested, slapping his forehead almost immediately. What the hell was he saying? It sounded as if he was coming on to _Snape_. "Er… I didn't mean it like that. I mean… I… It isn't as if…" he stuttered.

This time he clearly heard Severus chuckling. 

"I'm flattered, Potter. But what about Draco?" Severus mocked. 

Harry was speechless. 

Severus smiled in the dark. "Just go to sleep."

Harry sulked, and he held the urge to beat his pillow. He didn't know why he cared for the old bat's welfare. He hoped Severus would wake up the next morning with a terrible pain on his back. He'd just been mocked by Severus Snape. _Dammit. _

After a while, he calm down. He even smiled at their mix-up conversation. Even though he was still feeling restless because of Draco, Severus' presence was somehow strangely soothing. He felt his eyelashes heavy and he closed his eyes. Before he fell asleep though, he whispered, "She loved you, you know?"

Silence. Perhaps Severus had already fallen asleep. Even so, he kept saying, "My father told me that my mother loved you. I think… she wanted you to know that."

On the couch, Severus felt out of breath, and he wondered if he had heard it right. He felt like going to Harry's bed to shake him until he found out how Harry knew about that. He felt a terrible pain in his heart. Many years had passed since the last time he had felt so devastated. The memories he had from Lily ripped his old wounds apart, making him bleed again. He breathed hard. He had to get a grip. He couldn't go down to that same road again. He had Erin now, and he would be a father soon. It was useless to think about the past. It was enough to know that Lily had loved him.

It had to be.

At some feet away, Harry slept agitatedly, not knowing the devastating effect his words had had on Severus' heart. 

-----------------------------------------

 Lucius sighed heavily as his eyes scanned his lawyer's letter for the tenth time. If he was emotional and out of control, he'd have lost his mind by now. If there was one thing he was proud of being a Malfoy, it was his impeccable self-control. Even though he felt like trashing his room, he wouldn't do it. He would calmly sit on his bedroom's chair and take that punch as the noble man he was. Yeah. And perhaps pigs would also fly by his window without the help of magic. 

He breathed hard, gripping his wand in his hand. He was about to cast as many dark magic spells as he could remember around his room – he would have to apologise to Dumbledore later (as if he cared) – when James Kill-Joy Potter walked through the door and stared at him dumbfounded. 

"What?" Lucius asked with a murderous look on his face.

"What happened?" James asked, stepping back a little. 

Lucius frowned. "Why, why do you always have to answer a question with another?"

James took another step back. "I'm… sorry?" Lucius frowned even more. "It's just that you look… horrible."

"Horrible?" That was outrageous! He was Lucius Malfoy. There was nobody as elegant as him. His slender figure was never less than perfect. Potter was very brave – more likely stupid – to have said an offensive thing like that. 

Lucius looked at himself in the mirror and gasped. The one staring back at him had to be someone else. He didn't have the same horrible bags under his eyes, nor that disarrayed hair. His eyes looked very frightening, too, like he was about to cast Avada Kedrava. No wonder James was afraid of him. 

"I do look horrible!" Lucius was in a state of shock. "Oh, no! I'm already turning into someone… _poor_. Look at me!"

James found Lucius' horrified expression very amusing, but he didn't laugh. "What are you talking about?" James caught the letter Lucius had abandoned on the floor and read it. Lucius protested at that invasion of his privacy with no avail. James kept reading it while avoiding Lucius' attempts to take the letter out of his hands. "Holy Merlin! They didn't! Not now! We fought so hard in the past to confiscate your father's possessions, and now the Ministry finally did it. I should have been there!" James let it out without thinking. 

Lucius was stunned by the lack of consideration. James didn't care at all about Lucius' suffering. He was only mad because he hadn't taken part in the raid to Malfoy Manor. The bloody bastard! 

James shook his head, astonished. "Unbelievable. And they even confiscated your bank accounts! Oh, my. They're going to auction Malfoy Manor! I can't believe this. They left you with…"

"Nothing at all," Lucius completed, bitterly. "I'm poorer than Weasley now. At least Weasley has that awful house he calls _Hole_ or something. Muggles call this divine justice, don't they?"

"I think wizards call it that, too. I know my father did." James put the letter aside. He couldn't help to think that deep down it served Lucius right to lose everything. But then again, Lucius seemed so sad and devastated that James just wanted to hug him. 

He also thought that the Ministry was crossing the border of what was legal and what wasn't. If James understood the letter right, they had no right to confiscate Lucius' possessions. There hadn't been a trial for one thing. And although Lucius really had many illegal businesses, and he'd probably found many ways not to pay a single tax, there wasn't sufficient evidences against him. The Malfoys were always very slippery in those matters. James was torn by it all. On one hand, Lucius deserved what was coming to him because of his previous actions as a criminal. The biggest part of his fortune had been gained in an illegal way – that was a fact. For another, Lucius was now James' lover and he had changed a lot. 

No matter what though, James knew that the Ministry wasn't the only one behind the raid. Fudge would never have enough courage to go against Lucius Malfoy alone, because Lucius knew too much about the corruption that went on in the Ministry. Lucius knew what went on behind the curtains of that fake respectability and morality. The real commander was probably Voldemort. Most members of the Order knew that Voldemort had been pulling the strings at the Ministry. Dumbledore was very worried about that, because if Voldemort succeeded in taking over the Ministry completely, then the world was doomed. 

Lucius sat down on the bed, trying to keep the façade that his ancestors had praised so much, but failing miserably. He wasn't looking scary anymore but rather tired and depressed. James sat down next to him and took Lucius' hand in his, squeezing it.

"I'm sorry," James muttered. "I…"

"Oh, come on." Lucius stared at James. "I can't blame you for thinking that I deserve it, because I do. But it's just not something I can deal with right now. Not when Draco is away. My family name and reputation is all I have. I don't know what I am without it."

"I still have money," James pointed out, not sure if it was the right thing to say.

Lucius smirked. "And what's that supposed to mean? That I'm a gigolo now?"

James smiled. "I think it's a sexy idea."

"And I think you're a sick bastard!"

"Didn't your father own a brothel in Hogsmeade when he was alive?"

Lucius flushed slightly. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I find it very amusing when you suddenly try to be moralist, when I know you aren't! I thought you would like the idea." Lucius tried to push his hand away, but James squeezed it hard. "All right. I won't pay you for your _services _then." He smiled as he saw Lucius' irritated expression. "I'll lend you some money until you put your life on track."

"First of all, Potter, you can't afford me."

"I don't have to. I have you for free," James mocked.

Lucius twitched with anger. "I'm glad you find my situation so funny."

"Luc…"

"Listen, Potter. I know that my family deserves a very bad ending. Your first reaction to the letter was very… meaningful. I'm sure that many people are laughing at me. The Malfoy Family has had a very bad reputation for centuries. We built our empire in a very dishonest way. But that house has been my proud and joy ever since I was a little kid, and so is my name. The Malfoy name has always been feared and respected. My name is an extension of my soul. I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose my house. It's all I've ever known."

"Listen to yourself, Lucius," James said angrily. "That house brought you nothing but pain, and so did your name. They are both symbols of how rotten your family was! Do you really want to hold on to such a thing? Besides, you can't possibly have good memories of that place."

Lucius turned his back to James, his hands shaking. He crossed his arms to hide them. James was right, but it was very hard to let go of a life style he had cherished so much. That was a world he was familiar with. It was very scary to lose everything he had possessed all of his life. He'd worked so hard to sustain that kind of life. He had sacrificed his heart to keep the game running.

"If the house is so important to you, I'm sure your lawyer will find a way to stop the Ministry's actions. After all, they aren't legal."

"I know, more than anyone else, that the line between what's legal and what's illegal is really thin."

 "Then Draco will have everything. He's on Voldemort's side now. I'm sure Voldemort will try to win him over by giving him back the Malfoys' assets. He's trying to make your life a living hell because you've joined us, but he won't take it out on Draco."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Lucius shuddered at the thought of Voldemort hurting Draco.

"He won't hurt Draco because he needs your son."

"You're not making me feel any better."

"I didn't know I was supposed to do that."

Lucius shot him a deadly look. "You're a lousy lover."

"I'm just joking." He walked to Lucius and embraced him. Lucius' body stiffed at the first contact but then he relaxed. Involuntarily, he laid his head on James' shoulder, closing his eyes. "See? I can be a good lover. I can hold you like this. Does it make you feel better?"

Lucius pinched James. "Don't push it, Potter." 

They only held each other for a long time. Lucius wasn't used to that kind of closeness, but he found it very soothing, so he took a while to let go. 

"Luc?" James called softly.

"What?"

"I want to be your home."

Lucius' heart skipped a beat. He hated when James disarmed him like that. "I…" he began timidly. "I think… you already are. And I hope Voldemort never realises that. He took away my son, my name, my money… I'll kill him if he takes you away from me, too."

James couldn't believe his ears. It was very rare to hear things like that from Lucius. He held Lucius tightly. 

"Oi, Potter. I think it's enough," Lucius said, pulling away before he could get too sentimental. 

James rolled his eyes. "Why can't you stop calling me Potter? I thought we had passed that."

Lucius shrugged. "It's the force of habit."

"I think you do it to avoid what's going on between us."

"I object! I feel affronted by this. I'm not a coward."

James scowled. "I wouldn't be too sure…"

"Don't you have somewhere else to be??" Lucius asked, annoyed.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I came back to take a shower and go to the Ministry."

"Oh. Today is your _coming_ _out_ hearing, right?" James noticed the pun but just nodded. "Are you going to tell those bastards about me?"

"What exactly do you want me to say? That you're the one shagging me every night?"

"Haha. You're so bloody funny, but no, that was not what I meant."

James looked serious. "I know what you mean. But if I tell them about you now, it might work against us. I'm going there for Sirius. I need to clear his name. Dumbledore thinks we will face resistance. It'll be a shock to know that I'm alive. But at least Sirius will be free of charges."

"So you'd rather save your friend's butt instead of your evil lover?" 

"If you want to put it that way…" James started undressing in front of Lucius, who turned around. James frowned. "Don't tell me you still feel awkward when I'm naked. Merlin! I never thought you were the kind of man who blushed over these things, Lucius. In fact, I never thought you blushed at all."

Lucius made a face. "I don't blush, Potter. I'm just not used to this… intimacy thing." James chuckled. "Why, you! My life is falling apart and yet you find everything amusing."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, sure." Lucius glared at James, who was now fully naked. He gulped. "You… huh… I mean…"

James smiled. "What?"

Lucius cleared his throat. He couldn't stop ogling James. "Your son… he looked weird today."

James nodded. He was worried about that, but Harry didn't want to talk to him about it. "Yes, I noticed it."

"Severus also looked weird, especially when he looked at Harry."

James frowned. He didn't like where the conversation was going. "What's your point?"

"My point? I don't have one. I'm just pointing out what I observed. I'm very good at reading people."

James scowled. "Is this your payback?"

"Maybe."

James walked towards Lucius. He had a dangerous look on his face. "You don't want to go down that road, Malfoy."

Lucius smirked, the sight of James' anger making him feel very aroused. Sex was the best way to get over his frustrations, so when James got closer, he pulled him against his body and kissed him hard. James instantly let himself go. He muttered against Lucius' lips that he would be late for his hearing, but Lucius didn't hear him. He dragged James to the bed so that his lover could make him forget about the world outside. 

Clothes discarded, they began to move into the same rhythm. James didn't mind to be on the bottom as usual, but one day he would break into Lucius' restrictions and fears and he would be on top for a change. He wasn't surprised at how needy and savage Lucius was. James followed him with the same need. Finally, when their bodies cooled down and their hearts regained their normal pace, James got up and headed for the bathroom.

Lucius joined him a few minutes later. 

"I thought you felt uncomfortable around me naked," James mocked.

Lucius watched the water running down James' body and he held the urge to lick his lips. 

"And I said I…" Lucius' gaze fell upon James' hands that were erotically soaping his body. Lucius shivered from desire, and let out a very low moan. 

"You were saying…"

Lucius didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed James. They loved each other again. Lucius still tried to control his desire for James, but it was becoming harder to resist. He left his body at James' mercy, and he loved every minute of it. 

Finally, James dressed up in his best robe and got ready for his hearing. 

"You look… good," Lucius said.

James smiled. "Just good? Do I at least look sane?" 

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid they'll claim that I'm mad. They won't be happy to see me, that's for sure. I survived the killing curse. Only Harry had done that. I think… they will judge that I'm not very clear in the head."

"Harry is normal, isn't he? Well, as normal as he can be…"

James sneered. "Aren't you adorable? Sticking up for me and my son…" A knock on the door interrupted them. James stared at Lucius. "This is it. I have to go now."

James looked at Lucius one last time before heading to the door. 

"James?" Lucius called. James turned to face him. "How many men are going for your protection?"

James shrugged. "I don't know."

"Tell Dumbledore to take as many as he can. You'll be a target today. Voldemort won't miss this chance to get you."

"Are you worried about me?"

Lucius scowled. "No. I'm just asking you to be careful."

"I'm sure nothing will happen. There will be too many Aurors around."

"Even so…" Lucius didn't want to sound too anxious, but he couldn't help it.

"I'll be careful."

James gave him a smile before heading to the door again. Lucius wanted to make him stop. He wanted to tell him not to go, but he couldn't do that. He knew how much James praised his friends. James had been waiting restlessly for that day. Ever since he remembered Pettigrew's treachery, he wanted nothing but to clear out Sirius' name. So Lucius watched him go with his heart in his mouth. 

TBC… very soon, I hope!


	16. Coming Out

**Disclaimer**: The usual. Not mine… except the crazy plot! Yes, everybody in this story is **gay**, except Hermione, Ron, Severus, Ginny… ^_^ But the main characters are at my mercy! Mwuahahaha…!

**A/N**: A BIG thank you to my betas **Lildove** and **Jamie.**  I would be lost without them, seriously! And a special thanks to: 

- Mistal: The Poisoned One 

- Rowenna

- Jollinar : Sirius is in this chapter! 

- midnightprowler

- silver_tears

- Sweet Sorrow1: Severus doesn't appear this time, but he will be in the next chapter. 

**Summary**: Here's where Sirius figures out his feelings; Draco has an interesting dream; Harry ponders about his life; Lucius plays the funny bastard; James comforts Harry and… well, read and find out! 

Chap. 16 – **COMING OUT**

The news that James Potter was alive came as a big shock to the wizarding community. The crowd gathered at James' hearing gossiped excitedly through the Ministry's court-room, and even Fudge's shouting for order didn't quiet them down.  The other officials seemed agitated as well. It had been a long day for James as they tried to sort out whether he was telling the truth. He had to go through many tests and interrogations to prove that he was actually James Potter, and that he wasn't crazy because of Voldemort's failed curse. Proving that Sirius Black wasn't responsible for the attack in his house was another struggle. 

But finally, around 5pm, after much talking and racket – and fainting as well – he convinced the Ministry of Sirius' innocence. Even though this decision didn't please everyone in the courtroom, Pettigrew was declared a criminal by the majority of the officials' votes. There were still many doubts about what had actually happened in the past, but Dumbledore's influence and James' words were enough to convince most of the people at the hearing. 

Perhaps if Voldemort weren't a threat again, the process of letting Sirius free would have been a lot more difficult; however, since Voldemort was hovering over them again, James was a sign that Voldemort wasn't infallible. James had survived the killing curse along with Harry. Hope spread again. Now the community had not one but two heroes.

James didn't want the title of 'Hero' though; he had done nothing to deserve it. That day in the courtroom he had a glimpse of what his son had been through ever since he was eleven, and he didn't like one bit of it. The first thing he did when he was released from the inquiring was to hug Harry. Then he looked at Sirius and smiled. Sirius had suffered so much already. He deserved to start a new life as a free and innocent man. James took a step forward and they hugged. 

"You're a free man now, mate," James said emotionally.

Sirius seemed as if he were about to cry. "I can't believe it. Thank you so much, James."

"You're thanking me? Why?"

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "_Why_? It's because of you that I'm free now. I don't need to hide anymore. And because you didn't have to do this. Now you're out in the open and an easy target for Voldemort. He won't be the only one looking for you. You didn't have to do this for me, James. But you did. You're risking your life."

"I don't care. What matters is that you're free now. They'll even pay you for all the damage Azkaban did to you."

 "I don't want money. I just want a bloody piece of paper that says I'll never have to go back to that place again!"

"I'm really happy for you, Sirius!" said Harry, hugging his godfather.

Sirius smiled, but his happiness didn't reach his eyes. He was happy that he was free, but there was someone else he wanted to share that happiness with. He was surprised when the first person that came to his mind wasn't the woman he was living with, but Remus. 

He missed his best friend. He wanted to celebrate his freedom with him. He still wasn't ready to admit his real feelings, but he wanted Remus to come back. He wanted to hug him, and touch him, and kiss him. The images of their night together constantly haunted him. His lips always throbbed when he remembered Remus' kiss. If only he had been braver. He should have stopped Remus when he had the chance. He should have made it clear to Alexis that he was the one for Remus, not some crazy bastard who was a Death Eater. 

They went back to Hogwarts where a big welcoming party was expecting them. It wasn't news for most of the staff that James was alive, but it was a relief to stop pretending that he wasn't. Dumbledore decreed that there wouldn't be any classes the next day, so everyone decided to enjoy themselves the best they could. Only Severus didn't seem so cheerful, but then again, he never did.

Sirius didn't feel like talking and laughing, so he retreated to the terrace to be alone and do some thinking. The weather outside was chilly, but he didn't feel a thing. He could only think about Remus and what he was doing at that exact moment. Did he know Sirius was free? Why was it that his freedom didn't taste as good as he thought it would? He knew the answer, but he didn't want to admit it. He wanted Remus to be partying by his side, patting him on the back, drinking firewhiskey with him until they were both totally wasted. He could picture everything in his head. They would lean on each other's shoulder for support, and sing out of tune and laugh all the way to their rooms. Then Remus would leave Sirius lying on his bed, and would fall awkwardly on top of him. They would stare, lose themselves in each other's eyes and then… They would kiss and forget about the world outside. 

He missed Remus so much. He was so stupid for letting him go. 

"Hey, Sirius, the party is inside," said James. 

Sirius only nodded but didn't say anything. James leaned against the wall next to him and stared at the snow calmly falling from the sky forming a beautiful white curtain. 

"The giants aren't here anymore," James said, keeping the conversation light.

"They wanted to be somewhere warmer."

James looked down. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know if he should ask or wait for Sirius to tell him. He glanced at his friend, who looked so sad and lost when he should be partying and laughing inside. He cleared his throat, and they stayed quiet for a long time.

"What's wrong?" James asked, deciding that he was the one who should bring up the subject, because it was obvious that Sirius wouldn't do it.

"I just wanted to be alone. The day was so hectic," Sirius answered quietly.

James bit his lower lip and nodded. It wasn't just that, but he should take things slow. "Yes, it was. I feel like sleeping for days. Actually, I feel like going back to the island. Everyone is looking at me like I have all the answers, like I'm their saviour. Can you explain to me how Harry can put up with all of this? It's scary."

"I know what you mean. They placed such a burden on the boy's back. Good thing he has you to share it now. Maybe you can alleviate things for him a little. Harry has been through so much already, and he's so young. I constantly fight with Dumbledore about things concerning Harry."

"I wish I could take Harry's place and let him be the sixteen-year-old boy that he is. I feel so sorry for having spent all of this time away from him… I didn't watch him grow up. I can't believe Dumbledore let him stay with those horrible muggles."

"Well, at least he's not with them now. And you're here. I'm sure together, the two of you will work things out."

"Sometimes I feel like I'll never reach him. We don't seem like father and son. We look like friends who only greet each other and talk about the weather," James said making Sirius chuckle. "It isn't funny! I think he finds it easier talking to Snape than to me!"

Sirius made a face. "Now that's a real disaster! I can't believe this, James. How do you know?"

James remembered the previous day when Harry and Severus looked so strange. "I just have this feeling."

"I hope you're wrong or else you're doomed. _Snape_?" Sirius pretended to be sick. "No way."

"I'm not sure, so…" James sighed, almost irritated. He hated to think that Harry trusted Snape more than him. He wanted his son to come to him when he had problems. He knew Harry was going through a lot, especially now that Draco had been taken away. He wanted to be there for his son. But at the moment, Sirius was the one who needed him. "Anyway why are you so isolated? You're not the lonely type, so just spit it out."

"I'm not the lonely type? Try spending thirteen years of your life in Azkaban," Sirius smirked. 

James frowned. "I hope that wasn't an invitation."

"Shut up, James."

"You miss him, don't you?"

Sirius crossed his arms, the cold finally catching him. He felt it through his clothes, soul, heart. James knew. His friend had finally exposed him. James knew that he missed Remus more than anything else. He knew that Sirius was supposed to be sharing today with Remus. 

"What happened between you two?" James asked carefully. 

"Why do you ask?" Sirius asked back defensively. 

"I know you. I know something happened in the cottage. Lucius thinks…"

"_Lucius_?" Sirius snorted. "I understand you have something weird going on with him, but I really can't handle when you talk about him in such an intimate way, James! It's just creepy."

"Well, get used to it, because we're together now."

Sirius stared at James. "All right. It's your life. Even though I don't trust the bastard, and you shouldn't trust him either…"

"Like you said, it's my life," James cut him off coldly. "And we're not talking about me and Lucius, we're talking about Remus."

Sirius moved a few steps away from James, really feeling cold now. "What about that stupid prick?"

"This is what I'm talking about!" James exclaimed, coming closer to Sirius. "Whenever we talk about Remus, you get mad for no reason."

"He joined Voldemort. I think that is reason enough!" Sirius pointed out, upset.

"Yes, he did. He did it to help the Order."

"No!"

"No?"

"No! He did it to run away from me!" Sirius shouted. 

James opened his eyes widely as Sirius covered his mouth with his hand. He couldn't believe he had said that. 

"Why would he want that?" James asked.

"Because…" Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was time to let it all out. After all, James was his friend. "That night in Malfoy's cottage… I had a fever… It isn't an excuse or anything… just a fact. I think I asked Remus to sleep next to me, or he just lay down on the bed on his own. Anyway, I remember sensing his body next to me, and his smell… And everything felt like a dream. I really thought I was dreaming… And we kissed."

"Sirius…"

"And we had sex. And when the morning came, I couldn't face him. I couldn't face myself."

James felt pity for his friend, for it was obvious that he was terribly confused. "Sirius…"

"I didn't know what to do or say!" Sirius kept saying nervously. "What was I supposed to do? I felt like scum. I betrayed Narcissa. And I said terrible things to Remus. I was afraid of so many things. I was afraid that he'd never speak to me again, that he'd hate me. I guess now he does hate me. After everything I said to him… He more or less told me that he loved me, but I'm not sure. All I could do in return was shout at him. I drove him away, James. It's because of me that he joined Voldemort."

"I don't think he hates you, Sirius. He loves you. I think he has been in love with you ever since we were just schoolmates."

That was a shock to Sirius. He didn't expect a revelation like that. "How do you know?"

"Well, Remus never really told me, but… it was sort of implicit in the way he looked at you."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was because I had my own secrets to keep."

"Oh, James…" Sirius rested his back on the wall and let his mind drift away. "If only I had known… Do you remember when we both kissed?"

James reddened. "Yes, I do."

"I told myself I was mad about Narcissa that day. But maybe I was actually mad about Remus." Sirius buried his hands in his hair. "I'm in so much trouble, James. I have no idea what I should do. Should I break up with Narcissa? I do love her. But… I guess I love Remus, too. I'm so confused."

James enlaced Sirius' shoulder. "I think… Love is complicated. But you'll figure out. I denied my feelings for Lucius for so long and now look at us."

"I'd rather not," Sirius grunted. "Are you really together?" 

"Yes, we are, as incredible as it might sound. We have a long road ahead of us, but… I'm optimistic."

"I still can't believe you like Lucius Malfoy. He isn't good enough for you, James!"

"He's trying to be a better person. He didn't throw a fit because he lost his possessions. He almost did, but in the end I was able to calm him down." James seemed very proud of himself. 

"He didn't have a heart attack because he probably has hidden bank accounts outside England."

James frowned. That was probably true. That might be the real reason why Lucius seemed more light-hearted when James met him after the hearing. He shook his head. He would ask Lucius later. "Even if he does have a hidden bank account somewhere else, what matters is that he saved me. He pulled me out of my coma. He has so many things to deal with, and he's trying the best he can. You have no idea what kind of childhood he had. He's suffered enough. I think he deserves a second chance, and I'm willing to give it to him." James let go of Sirius and walked towards the staircase that led to Hogwarts' grounds. He stopped before the exit and kicked a stone that was on the way, making it roll down the stairwell and sink in the snow. "Once I came to terms with my feelings, it became really easy to accept him, to accept us. I was also scared of a lot of things. I still am. But I don't care anymore."

"What if he betrays you?"

James stared at Sirius. "I'll be heartbroken and devastated. But I won't stop loving him. I'm already a lost cause in this matter." He smiled sadly. "I fought against my feelings for too long, and my life wasn't any better. I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away from him, but all I managed to do was ruin mine and Lily's life together. The only thing that makes me happy is Harry. He's the only good thing about my past. And Lily, of course. She was like sunshine. The rest of my life was horrible. I made one mistake after another. Lucius' life was horrible, too. We belong to each other. I know this now. You should come to terms with your feelings too, Sirius, before it's too late. I was given a second chance. So were you. You're free, after all. I don't understand what you fear, Sirius. What is it? What's wrong in admitting that you love Remus? Is it the fact that being with him will make you a homosexual?"

"No, it isn't that!" Sirius protested, too energetically for James' taste. "I swear I have nothing against it. I only complain about you because your partner is Malfoy. I don't have a problem with my sexuality, whatever it is. It's just that… Narcissa…"

"Oh, Sirius, don't use me as an excuse for your own prejudice and cowardice!" exclaimed Narcissa, coming out to the porch and staring at Sirius with a deadly expression. Her presence took both men by surprise, but it was even worse for Sirius, who seemed mortified. 

"How long have you been here?" he asked with his heart beating a hundred miles per hour. 

"I just got here, but it was enough for me to hear your stupid comment." She looked very angry, and she had all the right to be.

"I… er… I think I'll leave you two alone," James said after an awkward period of silence. 

"You do that. Lucius has been pissing me off to interrupt you two for quite a while."

James glanced one last time at his friend and shot him a look of encouragement before returning to the party. Sirius hated this kind of situation, and he wanted to ask James to stay, but he just let James go without saying anything. James had nothing to do with this. Sirius needed to face it alone. The time had passed for him to be honest with Narcissa and with himself. 

"Sissy…" he began softly.

"Don't even try, Sirius." She crossed her arms. "I'm mad at you, and not just because you were unfaithful to me!"

"You said you just got here! How do you k…" he stopped abruptly as he saw her victorious expression. She hadn't heard a thing. She was just guessing. Now she knew for sure because he had fallen into her trap. He swore under his breath for his stupidity. "Listen, Sissy… I didn't mean for it to happen. It was just this one time, ok? I wasn't myself…"

She frowned and raised her hand for him to stop. "That's not what I want to hear. If you slept with him, then I guess you were yourself for the first time in your life. You were finally honest. That's why I'm mad at you. I can't stand to hear you lying to yourself. Perhaps we've both been lying…" she sighed sadly. "We both used each other to escape from reality. I needed to escape from my marriage with Lucius. You needed me to escape from your feelings for Remus. I don't know why you're so scared of your emotions, but you shouldn't be. He loves you. No one will care! You're trapped inside your chauvinist mind where it's ok for Harry and Draco to be together, but it's not ok for _you_ to love a man! For Merlin's sake, Sirius! Even Lucius accepted his love for James! Why can't you?" 

Sirius was too surprised to say anything. He swallowed hard. It seemed as if a big lump was stuck in his throat. He didn't know why he was so scared. Perhaps Narcissa was right. He was hiding his true feelings. He was denying what he really felt because he was ashamed of it. He was just like his father, just another bigot.

"I just want you to be happy," Narcissa whispered, caressing his face with her delicate hands. "James is right. You should admit once and for all how you feel before it's too late."

Silent tears fell down his cheek. It was so hard to admit it, even though his heart already knew what was right. He thought about Remus' smiling and his sweet face, and then his mind drifted to a darker thought, where Remus was severely hurt, pale and… dead. He took a deep breath and ordered himself to stop thinking about that. He couldn't let that happen to Remus. He wouldn't. 

"Sissy…" he licked his dry lips. "I… I'm sorry."

She smiled feebly. "Just say it, Sirius. It'll make you feel better. It isn't that hard."

"Please, forgive me. I do love you. But I love Remus, too. I love him." It was finally out, and he felt like a big burden had been removed from his heart. 

"I know. I love you, too. But I'm not your special someone."

They hugged emotionally, and she made an effort not to cry. She was stronger now. Even though she had lied to Sirius a little by telling him that she had only used him, she realised that her happiness didn't depend on him alone. After so many years of living in Lucius' shadow, she cherished her independence. She would be sad to watch him go, but she would get over the loss.

"I really want you to be happy," she repeated, kissing him on the lips one last time. "I give you my blessing."

He kissed the palm of her hands. "Thank you. You're too good for me."

"Don't thank me, Sirius. Just go after him and bring him back. All that he wants is to hear those three magical words."

He smiled. She saw determination in his eyes, and she knew his mind was already working on a plan to get Remus back. She smiled for his sake. At least he couldn't hear her heart shattering into little pieces. He didn't need to know just how sad she was for letting him go. 

--------------------------------------

Remus always had to watch his back when he walked through the dark hallways of the Black Fortress. If there was one thing he had learned very quickly in that place it was to always keep his wand ready. A werewolf was as unwelcome among the Death Eaters as it was anywhere else. Alex was very mistaken about them. Those men weren't interested in helping them. They were only interested in their own ambitions.

He pitied Alex. Alex was the only reason why Remus stayed in the place, because someone had to take care of him. Alex had been taking Voldemort's miraculous potion to end the werewolf curse, and he had been extremely ill ever since. Remus suspected the potion to be poison. Voldemort wanted to exterminate them, not help them. 

Remus wanted to leave that place desperately, but he couldn't. Alex still believed he would be cured.

"Remus," he heard Alex's voice behind him and turned around quickly. 

"Alex! What are you doing up? You should be in bed."

Alex walked unsteadily towards him. His expression was of intense pain. He coughed a few times and Remus embraced him so he wouldn't fall. He gently caressed Alex's sweaty forehead, sighing deeply. If Alex didn't stop taking that potion, he'd soon be dead. Remus felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to shake Alex, to make him understand that if they stayed, they'd die. He needed to get Alex out of this horrible place.

"Alex…"                                             

"Please, don't." Alex's plea had such a sad tone that Remus stayed quiet and just waited for whatever it was that Alex wanted to say. "I woke up and you weren't there. You're always there, Remus. Don't leave me like this, ok? It isn't safe for you to wander alone."

Remus was touched by Alex's worry, but it made him even more confused. If Alex knew that this place was dangerous, then why did he keep lying to himself that Voldemort wanted to help them? He tried to speak, but once again Alex interrupted him.

"Let's go back to our room. I need to tell you something."

Even though Remus wanted to scream from frustration, he obediently followed Alex's orders. He wondered if his subservience was inherited from his mother. He'd grown up watching his mother do everything his father told her to, and after Remus had been bitten, he had done the same thing to everyone in his family. Remus Lupin, always so eager to please, to be accepted, to be loved. He was tired of being that way, but it was too late to change. He didn't even know how. 

He just let Alex lead them to their room, where he made the other werewolf lay down. Then he took a healing potion from a hidden place in his belongings and gave it to Alex. He was surprised that Alex didn't refuse to drink it as he usually did. A glimmer of hope lighted up in his heart. 

"Remus…" Alex caught his hand and squeezed it. "I… I want you to go. I want you to leave this place."

For a second, Remus smiled. But the wide smile died away from his lips when he realised that Alex wouldn't go with him. 

"No. I won't go if you don't go with me," he said. He wouldn't obey Alex this time. He couldn't leave Alex alone in this place.

Alex just smiled sweetly. "Yes, you will. I'm dying, Remus. I can't go too far. If I were with you, I would be holding you back. I can't do this to you. I already brought you here with me, even though I knew I shouldn't have, even though I knew you didn't belong here at all. I was jealous… I didn't want you to be with Sirius."

Remus swallowed hard. "Sirius? He doesn't even like me anymore."

"He does. He's a bastard for making you suffer, but he does like you. He's just scared." Alex closed his eyes. "I don't really mind him, but I mind what you feel for him. You love him. You could never love me the way you love him."

Remus licked his lips. "It doesn't matter anymore. Just rest, ok?"

Alex instantly opened his eyes. "You must go tonight, Remus!" 

"Stop talking nonsense, Alex! I won't go anywhere without you. Besides, didn't you tell me not to leave you alone?" Remus caressed Alex's hair softly. "I won't go anywhere. I came here for you. I'll stay by your side."

Alex felt tears in his eyes. Nobody had ever cared for him like that. Even though he knew Remus didn't love him the way he wanted him to, and that his caring was only out of friendship, even so… He was happy to have such a good man by his side.

"You don't understand…" a cough stopped him abruptly. He put his hand on his mouth. He felt faint, and he was even more desperate to make Remus understand the reasons why he had to leave. Remus made him drink another turquoise liquid.  He wanted to tell him that it was useless, but he knew Remus would just shush him. He looked at his hand. It had blood on it again. He didn't say anything, and neither did Remus, who just took a wet cloth from a small basin on top of the bedside table and began washing Alex's hand. 

"How can I leave you when you are like this?" Remus asked. 

"I don't want your pity," Alex said angrily.

"It isn't pity!"

"Yes, it is!" Alex tried to find a comfortable position in bed. "You have to leave. You will anyway after I tell you what I know."

Remus felt his heart skipping a beat. "What is it?"

"Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve. Do you know what the Dark Lord is planning to do?"

Remus shook his head. He didn't know. Nobody trusted him enough. He was surprised that he was still alive.

"He's going to attack a Muggle neighbourhood in Surrey called Little Whinging." 

"No!" Remus exclaimed, surprised. "That's… it's where Harry used to live."

"He's planning to attack this place, and send the muggle prisoners to his concentration camp." Alex breathed hard. "I also heard that most werewolves will be sent there."

"Where exactly?" Remus asked. Both of the answers were terrifying, but there was one place he feared more. 

"To the MCC," Alex whispered.

Remus shook his head, terrorized. "No. It can't be. He wouldn't send us to that place. He would be mixing…"

"…werewolf and zombie blood," Alex finished for him. "He'll create an even more terrifying creature."

"He'll create a monster!" 

"And now you understand why you have to leave."

Remus did, and more than ever, he was tempted to just turn his back on that hell and run away. But he was even more determined to take Alex with him. He couldn't leave Alex behind, not after knowing what would happen to him if he stayed. 

"Does Draco know about this?" Remus asked.

"Who cares about what that spoiled rich kid knows? He's the Dark Lord's protégé. I'm sure he knows, Remus. But that doesn't make any difference."

It could make all the difference in the world, because next to Draco was Blaise, the most important spy for the Order of the Phoenix. But Alex didn't know that, and it was better that way. 

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, his mind working on a way to escape without looking as though they were escaping. If Voldemort was really planning to imprison werewolves in the MCC, he had to act fast. But first, he needed to know if Blaise Zabini already knew about the attack in Surrey. 

"I'll leave, but you have to come with me," Remus said resolutely. 

"Remus…" Alex said tiredly. "I can't go."

"Do you still believe in that… thing's ideals?" Remus questioned angrily.

"I never believed in them. I just thought… that I could live a normal life… I don't believe in the Dark Lord. I never did. You know I hate my father, and he's the best example of everything that Lord Voldemort believes. I don't want to be like him. But I guess… I am. It's better if you leave tonight, Remus. I'll stay, because you know I'll be a burden to you. I'm dying…"

"Don't say that! We'll get out of here together!" Remus exclaimed heatedly. "I won't leave you here."

"But Remus…"

"No buts, Alex. We'll leave together. It's settled. I just need to figure out a way. I have to go now, but I'll be back to get you, ok? I will be back."

"No, Remus! Just go alone!" Alex said frantically. "I don't want you to die because of me. I was stupid to ask you to come with me. Please, leave me."

Remus shook his head. Alex saw the determination in his eyes, and he didn't like it. He shouted for Remus as he watched him leave the room, but Remus didn't come back. He closed his eyes tiredly. He didn't know how to pray. He didn't even believe in a god. But this time he prayed for Remus to escape from the Black Fortress alive.  

--------------------------------

He felt a tongue slowly and temptingly sneaking into his parted lips, and then a pair of warm lips meeting his. He opened his eyes widely and gripped his hands on the sheets of his bed. The first thing he thought was to push the person away, whoever it was. He had his wand under his pillow, just in case an enemy tried to attack him while he was asleep. In a place such as the Black Fortress, he had to be very careful about his security. There were too many men longing for his position. 

But since the person was kissing him, the first name that came to his mind was Pansy's. Related to the Dark Lord or not, Draco wasn't her plaything. He had forbidden her to step into his room unless she was invited. She should know better than to attack him in his sleep. He hated surprises. But it took him just a second to realise that the kiss wasn't Pansy's at all, because her kisses had never been pleasant or had aroused him this much. Pansy wasn't delicate or soft when she kissed him either. 

As the stranger's tongue explored his mouth, and he felt small bites and licks on his now swollen lips, Draco moaned against his will, and he knew for sure that it wasn't Pansy. Pansy would never illicit that strong a response from him. Was it Zabini? Blaise had been ogling him long enough. Perhaps the boy had finally given in to temptation. 

But Draco's room was surrounded by magical barriers. Blaise knew about them. He wouldn't be so stupid as to enter his room without being invited. He wouldn't risk his neck to spend one night with Draco, no matter how attractive the blond was. Whoever it was, it was someone very powerful. 

The kiss became more demanding. Draco let go of the sheets and his hands rested on the stranger's waist, moving up to feel their chest. Yes, it was definitely another man that was on top of him. He felt the other man's arousal touching his, and he wondered how he could have missed that bulge rubbing against him. But he doubted it was Blaise. It couldn't be. Blaise sure interested Draco, but not like this. Blaise didn't seem to be able to knock him off his feet like this. 

He was in heaven, and if that was the case, he might as well close his eyes and relax. If sex was going to be the weapon used to kill him, he would die happy. The kiss had made him light-headed and shaky. He felt himself uncoiling. It was dangerous to surrender like that, but he didn't care. He was a slave of the amazing sensations the stranger was making him feel. He had never felt something so strongly. The kisses deepened. His heart began to beat faster as if it would come out of his mouth. His breathing was unstable. There was a strange heat running through his body, making him want to tear his clothes apart. There were too many clothes in their way. Why didn't the man just rip them off? 

As if answering him, the stranger slipped his warm hand under his shirt and manipulated a nipple, rubbing it with his fingers. He tried to protest; after all, he wasn't a woman. But then his shirt was taken off, and lips took the place of fingers, licking and biting his pink nipples, making him shiver and squirm and burn. He couldn't see the stranger's face in the dark, but he noticed when the man took his own shirt off. The touch of their naked torsos felt like a jolt. Draco enlaced the man and ran his fingers along his back. 

His pyjama's pants came next. The stranger seemed even more eager to take them off. Draco panicked for a moment, but when the man went down on him, he relaxed and closed his eyes. It was the strangest feeling in the world, but he knew he had done this before. He knew he wouldn't get hurt. He felt a finger inserting inside of him, preparing him for the next stage. He squirmed again. 

There were so many things he wanted to say, but all that came out of his mouth were unintelligible sounds. He didn't know he was capable of sounding so lustful. He didn't know he could moan like this. He let himself be ravished. He felt a pleasurable pain. The man entwined his fingers with his and gripped them hard as their bodies moved to the same pace. Draco didn't want it to end. He was falling and that delicious body was the only thing to hold on to. He held on to it tightly, afraid that the man would suddenly disappear. He couldn't let that happen. They were supposed to always be together.

And then he came, his body convulsing and trembling in the waves of pleasure. 

"Draco..." whispered the man. 

"What?" Draco whispered back, his heartbeat coming back to normal slowly. 

"I'll come for you."

"I think you already did," he said playfully. 

"No. I'm coming for you. I'm coming to rescue you."

Draco frowned. "What?"

The candles on both of his bedside tables lit up, and he met a pair of determined emerald eyes. 

"I'm coming to get you. You'll be with me again."

He stopped breathing. The one on top of him, the one who had made him feel so good, was his enemy. It was Harry Potter. He wanted to shove him aside, take out his wand and jinx him. But all he did was stare and want him to come closer. He wanted _Harry Potter_ to be closer to him. 

"How did you get in?" he asked after regaining his voice.

A knock on his door interrupted him. "DRACO!" shouted Blaise. 

Harry tried to get off of Draco but the blond was faster. He held Harry's arm, took his wand from under the pillow and pointed at Harry's throat. Harry didn't seem scared or affronted by this. He looked rather amused. It was Draco who was affronted.

"Potter! Where do you think you're going? How did you get in? Answer me!"

Harry smiled. "Even naked you keep your Malfoy dignity intact." Harry ignored Draco's snort and his wand and hugged the blond tightly. "I really miss you. A lot."

"What?" Draco was more confused than ever. Since he had regained his self-control, he pushed Harry away from him. "What are you talking about? Get away from me!" Draco pointed his wand at him again. "I'll hex you if you touch me again!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I did more than just touch you."

Draco snorted. "How dare you! And... and... I didn't know you were a fag!"

That seemed to hurt Harry. Draco smiled for a moment until he realised they had just had sex. He was also a fag, because he had liked everything Harry did to him. 

"DRACO!" shouted Blaise, knocking hard on the door.

Draco stared at Harry. "You're doomed. Zabini will come in and I'll surrender you to the Dark Lord. I don't care how you got in here anymore. You were really stupid to come."

Harry smiled. "You can't hand me to Voldemort."

"Why not?"

Harry just smiled mysteriously. Perhaps Harry thought Draco wouldn't turn him in because they had just had the best shag of Draco's life. If he thought that, he could think again. Draco didn't care about him. Potter could rot in hell as far as Draco was concerned.  

"You told me once that you'd always find your way back to me. I intend to make you keep that promise."

Draco couldn't understand what Harry meant, and before he could reply, Harry vanished. He still tried to catch him, but it was in vain. 

"Harry!" he shouted before he noticed what he had just said. He had called out to Potter by his first name. He woke up sweating and panting on his bed, with no Harry Potter in it. He still had his pyjamas on, and the only difference was the wetness between his legs. "No way! No way..." 

He looked everywhere for Harry, but he didn't find him. He sat down on his bed and sighed. It had been just a dream. He had an erotic dream about Harry Potter. The dream had been so real that he had come. He was more than just shocked. He couldn't understand what had just happened. It couldn't have been just a dream. It had been too real. It'd felt real. Draco's body was still sensitive. But how did Harry enter his dream? He had to find out. If there was a spell that could do that, he needed to know. He was very confused. Harry had touched him as if he knew every part of Draco's body, as if he knew his sensitive spots. Harry had acted like they were intimate. It wasn't possible, but Draco needed to discover the truth.

And what was that about rescuing him? Draco didn't need to be rescued. 

He jumped as he heard a harsh knock on his door, and Blaise shouting for him. "Come on, Malfoy! The Dark Lord is waiting, and you know how much he hates to wait. Don't play with your luck just because you're the bitch's fiancé."

Draco cursed under his breath. He had forgotten about the meeting. He had overslept. Of course, he couldn't have awoken any earlier, not with Harry Potter kissing him in his dreams. He felt like slapping himself for such an inappropriate thought. He should be disgusted by such a dream. But the truth was that he wasn't. He was still excited. 

"DRACO!"

Draco clenched his fists and opened up the door. "Shut the fuck up! And watch your language! Don't speak to me in such an informal manner. Don't talk about my fiancée using disrespectful words – even if they're true. I already told you not to call me by my first name!"

"I'm sorry, but the Dark Lord will be really mad if you're late and..." Blaise's voice died away as he noticed a stain on Draco's pants. He smirked. "Erotic dream, huh? So that's what was keeping you busy... I can't blame you. It must have been a hell of a dream."

Draco blushed furiously and slammed the door in Blaise's face. He had forgotten about the stain! He called himself stupid over and over while Blaise laughed outside. Draco made a note to himself that he would teach Blaise a lesson when the meeting with Voldemort was over. 

When he was finally clean and dressed, he opened up the door again and made the usual gesture with his hand for Blaise to follow him through the corridor. 

"One word about this to anyone and you won't live to see the sunrise," Draco threatened. 

Blaise hid a smile. "I won't tell anyone, _Master_."

Draco shot him a murderous look. Blaise wanted to laugh his heart out, but he couldn't. Draco wouldn't allow it. He was caught by surprise when Draco shoved him inside an empty room out of the blue and closed the door. They stared at each other. Blaise wondered what Draco wanted with him. Draco wondered if Blaise was trustworthy. 

"This isn't the meeting," Blaise said.

Draco sneered. "Your cleverness never ceases to amaze me."

Blaise licked his lips. "What do you want?"

"I need you to do me a favour."

Blaise frowned. Draco never _asked_ for favours. He demanded them to be done, and done properly. The dream must have really messed with his head. Blaise wondered if Draco had dreamed about Harry. "What is it?"

"I need you to research dreams. Find everything you can about them, including if people can invade other people's dreams. If someone asks, tell them you had a bad dream and you're just searching for an explanation. You can even say you're a fan of that divination crap."

Blaise now had a lot of questions in his head, but he knew it would be dangerous to ask them. He took that as a good sign. It meant Draco was probably starting to doubt the reality around him. He must have dreamed about an episode of his past. Or maybe Blaise was getting his hopes too high. Either way, he should just do as Draco told him to and help him the best way he could. 

"This research is really important to me, so be careful," Draco required.

Blaise nodded. Even though the curiosity was eating him alive, the only thing he asked was, "Is that all?"

Draco hesitated. So far Blaise had been very loyal to him, but he could never be too sure. He was dying to ask him about Harry, and it wouldn't seem suspicious to ask generic questions about his enemy. But he doubted that Blaise would know anything more about the Golden Boy than Draco already knew, so he decided to stay quiet about it. Instead, he asked about his father. Blaise arched an eyebrow as if that was the last thing that he expected Draco to ask him. 

"What about your father?" Blaise questioned. 

"Do you know why he betrayed the Dark Lord? Do you know where he is?"

"No. I don't know anything about your father. But if you want me to find out..."

"No. I just... Never mind." There were so many things Draco wanted to know about his parents. All he knew was that both of them were traitors. They had betrayed the Dark Lord, and Draco couldn't understand why. It was difficult for him to picture his mother doing something so out of the ordinary. He had never thought of Narcissa as rebellious. She had always been so cold. And Lucius was another mystery to Draco. His father had always wanted more power. Lucius had always talked about the Order of the Phoenix with contempt. They were losers, and Lucius Malfoy had never been on the losing side. There were so many mysteries in his life. But he didn't have time for any of them. Voldemort was waiting for him. "I have to go."

"Malfoy..."

Draco stared into Blaise's eyes. "What?"

"Are you ready for the mission in Surrey?" Blaise asked carefully. 

Draco frowned. "What's wrong? Are you afraid or something?"

Blaise crossed his arms angrily. "That isn't it. It's just that... We're used to blackmailing people, not killing them. And tonight we will have to kill if necessary. And it will be Christmas Eve! I don't question the Dark Lord's orders and I don't like muggles, but... It's too cruel. And you know where he will send the prisoners, _if_ there are any."

Draco bit his lower lip. They were all playing a part here. Blaise was supposed to be quiet and just follow his orders. He wasn't supposed to question him like that. He wasn't supposed to say those things. If someone else heard them, they would be in big trouble. Draco wanted Blaise to stop questioning him all the time. He was Blaise's master. He didn't owe him any explanations. In fact, he could punish Blaise for his cheek. But he had a point. Draco was also apprehensive about their new mission. Up until now, the only thing he had done was talk people into joining Voldemort, using blackmail if it was necessary. This time he would have to _kill_ people. He didn't find it amusing. He didn't like muggles, but to kill them and throw them to the zombies... It _was_ too cruel. He didn't agree with Voldemort, but he had to participate this time. It was his destiny, wasn't it?

"What do I always tell you? Keep your thoughts to yourself," Draco said coldly. 

"But..." Blaise was thinking about the way Draco had asked him to make sure that he didn't do anything bad while he was under the potion's influence, but Blaise didn't know what to do. Draco didn't listen to him. He'd have to find a way to keep Draco out of the big fight. Blaise didn't even know why he cared. All he knew was that he felt proud of himself for the first time in his life because he was a spy. He was helping people. He was trying to help Draco the best way he could. He wanted to be a better person for Seamus. He wouldn't screw up. He couldn't. He _would_ find a way. "Never mind."

"We just follow Voldemort's orders, no questions asked," Draco said. "But I... I understand. We'll get used to it, probably..."

Blaise felt like shaking Draco. Did he really think they would just get used to killing people, to see them being killed in such a horrible way? Blaise told himself that this wasn't really Draco, that it was the potion talking. The old Draco would never say something like that. 

Draco cleared his throat. "I'm late. I should be going. And you... I'll be waiting for your report about dreams after the meeting is over."

"But Draco... There must be too many books about dreams! I won't be able to search through them all."

"Just find if there's a way to connect people's dream or something. Don't question me! Just do it! You're a real pain in the ass! I must have been mad when I chose you as my personal assistant." 

Draco left the room fuming. He hated to be questioned like that, and from someone lower than him. If he were to be honest with himself, he would realise that Blaise wasn't the only reason he was so angry. There was that disturbing dream, for one thing. There was also the mission in Surrey. He should get a grip though. Soon he would be in Voldemort's presence, and he should keep himself together. He couldn't show weakness. He didn't want Voldemort sneaking under his thoughts. He couldn't risk him discovering the dream he had just had about Potter. 

Inside the room, Blaise's mind was working furiously on a way out of the mission in Surrey when someone walked in. He frowned, and his fingers were instantly drawn to his wand. 

"Wait, Blaise. I'm on your side. I'm here to ask you something. And I need a favour, too," said Remus.

Blaise kept his wand firmly gripped in his hand, but he said, "Go ahead."

------------------------------------

When Harry woke up, his whole body was sensitive to touch. He looked down and sighed as he saw the stain in his pyjama's trousers. He didn't understand exactly what had happened. He had dreamed about Draco. It'd been too real, but still he wasn't sure if it was only a dream or the daydream connection spell activated in accordance with his wishes. Perhaps his bond with Draco was now so strong that he didn't need Erin's help anymore. Whatever it was, Harry had seen and touched Draco. 

He sat down and stared at the ceiling, trying to remember exactly what he had lived through his dream. 

In his almost faded memories, there was the image of a huge castle that seemed to be built like The Burrow, because it looked like it would fall apart at any minute. The walls were black and asymmetric. It was obvious that the construction was made by magic. No muggle construction looked like that. He wondered if that place was Voldemort's new hideout, the legendary Black Fortress, or if Draco's mind had created it.

He entered the place like he knew where he was going, so if Draco's mind had built that place to protect him from Harry, he had done a terrible job. Harry's journey through the many hallways went smoothly. He reached his destination easily and he barely had to touch the doorknob of the large oak door to open it. His heart had beaten like crazy. Throwing caution out the window, he had walked towards the bed where someone lay in a deep sleep. It was Draco. He felt many things at once. 

If that was really Draco and not just a product of his imagination, he wondered what the blond would do once he found out that Harry had invaded his subconscious and if that same subconscious would remember him or treat him like an enemy. And if Draco only recognized him as an enemy, he wondered what _he_ would do. 

There were so many questions in his heart. One thing he knew for sure was that if it was the daydream connection spell, he was risking his life. Draco could easily trap him, and Harry could fall into a coma. But there was no way Draco could know about the daydream connection spell if he didn't remember his relationship with Harry, and with that in mind, Harry relaxed a little bit. Draco would probably think of everything as a normal dream, so Harry decided to take the chance that was given to him and steal a kiss from those tempting pink lips. Draco had opened his eyes instantly, and he had reacted like Harry thought he would, which was confused and a little taken aback. The thought that Draco felt disgusted by his kiss made Harry very sad. But as he deepened the kiss, Draco had melted in his arms and Harry had felt as if he were in heaven. He trembled as he felt Draco touching him. He had missed the touch of those fingers so much. Needless to say, he had lost control. He couldn't resist Draco's softness and the way he had surrendered to his strokes. He couldn't resist the quickened heartbeats and the unstable breathing. 

Harry had allowed himself to hope that Draco had remembered their relationship. But Draco didn't remember him as his lover. Only his soul did and that should be enough for Harry, at least for the time being. Even with his heart breaking and his soul bleeding, he smiled at Draco. He promised himself to go after him, because he had promised never to give Draco up, no matter what. And even though there were many things he wanted to say to Draco, he woke up all of a sudden, cold and alone in his own bed at Hogwarts. 

He tossed the covers away and got up. There were many things to plan. Even if it was Christmas Eve, and for the first time he would spend it with his father, he had to plan his next steps. It was getting harder to hold on to hope, and even harder not to get depressed, but he was trying not to let his brave spirit be beaten. He didn't only have James and Sirius to cheer him up now. He also had Snape, as weird as that was. Snape didn't treat him like he was made of glass, but ever since their conversation in Hagrid's hut, he seemed to be more sympathetic to Harry. At least he wasn't glaring and taking away House points. That was a good start. It was strange to look at Snape not as an enemy but as a friend, whatever that meant. Snape had clearly said to Harry that he would listen if Harry needed to talk. That was a great achievement.  

There were many things he wanted to say. Like the fact that ever since he was born he seemed to only attract problems. It was like a curse had fallen upon him from birth. Perhaps that was the price to pay for staying alive after being hit by the killing curse. He wanted to say what fears hid in his heart and that he didn't think he would make through hell alive. But those were too private to tell someone, let alone Snape. 

He dressed up and made his way to his father's chambers. It was Christmas Eve after all, and he would spend it with James. 

There was almost no one in Hogwarts with the exception of a few students and professors. Hermione and Ron had preferred to spend Christmas with their families. Harry didn't mind the loneliness. He only minded that Draco wasn't with him to make that special date perfect. 

He was about to knock on his father's door when Lucius opened it up abruptly. Cold blue eyes stared at him. 

"What?" Lucius asked. 

Harry flushed slightly. He didn't even want to know what Lucius was doing in his father's chambers that time of day. "I'm here to see my father." 

"And what makes you think he wants to see you?" 

Harry frowned. He still couldn't understand what his father could see in a man like Lucius Malfoy. 

"Oi, Lucius! Get away from the door and let Harry in!" shouted James from inside the bedroom. 

Lucius crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. "I'll let you in if you do me a favour, Potter junior."

Harry frowned even more. 

"Go to the kitchen and bring me this." Lucius handed Harry a piece of parchment. "You can tell a house-elf to bring the tray here. Ask Dobby. He knows my tastes better than anyone. But tell that annoying creature that if the eggs are cold when they get here, I'll make him regret ever being born. The strawberry jam must be fresh. Your father wants muggle cereals, muffins, and sausage. But scratch those. I hate sausages and I don't even need to tell you what I think of muggles and everything related to them. Scratch the muffins, too. I'm on a diet. I want French and Italian cheeses, slightly toasted breads, Brazilian _or_ Colombian coffee and iced tea. Am I forgetting something?" Lucius shrugged. "Well, it's all on the parchment if you have any doubts. Have fun accomplishing my wishes."

Harry stared at Lucius as if he was Fluffy, the three headed-dog. It took him a few seconds to reply. "I'm not your maid, you know. What makes you think I'll do as you please?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I asked you a simple request. You just need to go to the kitchen and hand the paper to Dobby. The house-elves will do the rest. Besides, you're practically my stepson. You should be nice to me. If you are, I might consider giving you something outstanding for Christmas." Lucius arched his eyebrows as if he realised something displeasing. "I can't give you anything this year. The Ministry has confiscated all of my money. But I can make it up to you next year. Your father will have to do it for now. I'm sure he won't let you down. You'll probably win the top of the market Firebolt 2000. So just do as I tell you. Make your new dad happy."

"No! You're not my father. Eww. And I won't go to the kitchen just because you ask me to!" Harry protested. 

"Aren't you going to eat breakfast?" 

"I am, but…"

"It's on your way, Potter. Don't be so selfish!" 

"I am not!" 

Harry was about to tell Lucius to bugger off when they heard a noise coming from the bedroom. Lucius bit his lower lip and started to shove Harry down the corridor, panicking. "Just go, Potter!" he said. "I'll do whatever you want for a month!"

Harry was beginning to get curious about Lucius' strange behaviour. The idea of having Lucius Malfoy as a personal slave for a month was very appealing, but Harry was even more interested to know what was going on. It was as if Lucius was afraid of James. 

"Hey, where are you two going?" James asked, coming out of the bedroom with his hair still wet from the shower. "Didn't I tell you to come in, Harry?" James shot a look of suspicion in Lucius' direction. "Lucius, aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?"

Lucius crimsoned violently, and he seemed unsure of what to say. Harry found that extremely amusing. It was very funny to watch the _almighty_ Lucius Malfoy be embarrassed. 

"I was going already, Potter. I was just having a heart-to-heart conversation with your lovely son." Harry felt like screaming when Lucius enlaced his shoulders and brought him near. "Isn't that right, Harry? I was asking you what you wanted for Christmas."

Harry was about to push him away and ask what the hell was going on when he saw James smirk. He'd never seen his father smirk before, and that was also interesting to watch. He eagerly waited for what James had to say. 

"Sure you were," James sneered. "And Santa and his reindeer will come to deliver Harry's presents."

"Well, that could be arranged, you know? Santa Claus was a very kind-hearted wizard and…" 

"Just go fix my breakfast!" James cut him off. "We had a deal. The loser of the self-shuffling playing cards would go fix the winner's breakfast. That's your job. Now go! And don't forget that I like black tea, with milk and one sugar. " 

Lucius' face was so red that Harry thought it would explode. He seemed to be very angry with James. 

"You cheated!" Lucius accused. 

"I did not!" James objected. "You were the one who tried to cheat and failed because I cast an anti-cheating spell on the cards!" 

"That's outrageous, Potter! And you call yourself my lover!"

At hearing the word _lover_, Harry felt like covering his ears. 

"If you don't go soon, your face will be covered with pimples. It was your idea to put a spell on the bet…"

Lucius fumed. He gripped his wand as if he was about to curse James, but instead he turned on his heels and walked though the hallway muttering about stupid bets and Potters. James laughed as he watched Lucius go. Harry wanted to laugh, but the whole thing had been too disturbing for him. 

"How old are you?" Harry asked, frowning. "You two behave like children!" 

James smiled. "No matter how old you are this is always funny. Come on in, Harry. What do you want to do today? I promised you a special day, right? This will be our first Christmas together." James entered his room and waited for Harry to do the same before closing the door. "We could go to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley."

 "Can we go after Draco?" Harry asked with a bitter smile. 

James stayed silent for a moment and said, "No, we can't. Not today."

Harry wanted to tell his father that he didn't want to go anywhere if Draco wasn't with him. He wanted to ask people to stop pretending that things were fine just because it was Christmas, because nothing was fine. But he couldn't voice the bitter words inside his head. It wouldn't be fair to his father, who had been trying his best to get to know him and make him happy. Harry didn't want to ruin their first Christmas together. Besides, James was also rebuilding his own life now that he had come out to the wizarding world. Harry didn't want to spoil their day because of his bad mood. 

"I'm really sorry, Harry," James muttered.

"Hogsmeade is fine," Harry said, putting on his best smile. He didn't want James to be sad. "Is it safe to go there?"

"Yes, it is," James answered looking a little relieved that Harry had smiled at him. "Hogsmeade has been well patrolled ever since it was attacked."

"Ok. Hogsmeade it is, then." 

"Harry… You know Dumbledore and the Order are trying their best to catch Voldemort and his minions."

"I know…"

"And you know Lucius is as worried about Draco as you are. He's pulling as many strings as he can. He's been in touch with his old friends from Knockturn Alley. Draco is fine. It will only be a matter of time before we have a healing potion for him. Then we can bring him back. Voldemort...."

"Enough!" Harry cut him off, angrily. "I know! I know everybody has been doing their best. I know all of that, but as much as I try, the pain won't go away! So let's just go to Hogsmeade, ok? Let's pretend that everything is fine just because it's Christmas. Let's make funny bets and laugh! Let's pretend that all those years I had thought you were dead never existed." As soon as those words came out of his mouth, Harry regretted saying them. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

James came closer to him and whispered, "I don't mind. You have the right to be angry." They stared at each other, and James pulled Harry into a tight hug. Harry let himself be comforted. For many years he had wished for that hug. For many years he had longed to be comforted like this. 

Harry felt the tears in his eyes, ready to fall, but he didn't cry. He just muttered, "I miss him."

James kissed the top of his head. "I know."

"But I'm happy you're with me."

James smiled feebly. "I know."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, Harry."

They heard the door opening, but they didn't let go of each other. 

"What a lovely scene. I'm about to cry," Lucius said with a smirk. James knew it was only a façade though. Lucius was touched by the scene, and James could see the sadness in his eyes. Lucius was thinking about how much he wanted to see Draco and hug him like that. "Your breakfast is ready, Potter." Lucius waved his wand and a tray full of food appeared on the table. 

"Thanks," James said. 

"Oh, you'll thank me properly later," Lucius said, sending him a meaningful look.

"Please, don't look at my father like that while I'm here," Harry said, upset.

Lucius arched an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I know you're together, but I don't want to know anything about it."

"Like I would say something to you," Lucius mumbled.

"Hey, kids, it's Christmas' Eve," James said, calling their attention. "No fights today."

Harry and Lucius crossed their arms and glared at each other. James chuckled at their hostility. 

"And I'm the childish one…" he whispered. 

The rest of the morning went on in relative peace. Harry and Lucius didn't stop insulting one another, but rather than stressing them, they were having fun. They were helping each other in a way. They went for a walk around Hogwarts, and stopped by Hagrid's hut to chat. Lucius stayed inside the castle. He and Hagrid didn't get along very well. 

Around noon, James and Harry returned to the castle and found McGonagall very distressed. Harry feared for the worst, when she calmed him down and told him that her anxiety had nothing to do with Voldemort.

"What is it, then?" James asked, worried.

"It's Erin. She's in labour," she said. "And I'm afraid there are complications."

TBC… 

Ps: Be prepared. Someone will die… 


	17. Preparations

Disclaimer: See previous chapter.

A/N: Yeah, yeah. An update after such a long time! /insert fireworks/ I'm really sorry for the delay, but I had too much going on, too many personal problems to deal with... Real life was getting in the way of my hobby. Things are better now, but this doesn't mean that I'll update TMH faster. I have no idea when there will be a new update. So, once again, I ask for your patience.

This chapter is very long and I'm feeling very anxious about it, for many reasons. So, could I ask for your review? I'm afraid the story is getting boring… But I really tried my best in this chapter. It was very hard to write it, especially the last part. So grab a tissue. It's going to be sad…

Thank you very much to my beta readers Jamie and Lildove, who beta-ed this chapter so quickly! And thanks to all of you who patiently waited for this chapter!

Chap. 17 – **PREPARATIONS**

_Around __noon__, James and Harry returned to the castle and found McGonagall very distressed. Harry feared the worst, when she calmed him down and told him that her anxiety had nothing to do with Voldemort._

_"What is it, then?" James asked, worried._

_"It's __Erin__. She's in labour," McGonagall said. "And I'm afraid there are complications."_

--------------------------

Severus paced back and forth as he waited outside of Erin's bedroom. Madam Pomfrey had kicked him out of the room because he was being inconvenient. Severus snorted soundly. He had the right to watch his wife's labour. And since he was the one who made her the relaxing potion and every potion after that, he had all the right to give _advice_ to Pomfrey. Pomfrey was right about some things, he admitted. His relaxing potion wasn't helping much. But who expected him to work well under pressure? His baby was about to be born.

Erin was having complications. She was also cursing at him aloud in the labour room. He made a face. So now it was _his_ fault. He should have known. If only he hadn't fallen under Erin's spell. He wouldn't be facing a situation like this. Waiting patiently was something he had learned over the years, especially as a spy, but this time the waiting was killing him. He wanted to make sure Erin was doing ok.

A few moments ago, McGonagall had entered to aid Pomfrey, and even Dumbledore had offered his help. The only one left out was Severus. And now he had _company_ in the waiting room: Harry, James and the worst company imaginable in this situation, Lucius Malfoy. Surprisingly though, Lucius was rather quiet. It was James' presence that was getting on his nerves.

"Luc? Are you spacing out? Are you ok?" James asked quietly.

Lucius blushed slightly at the mention of the tender nickname. He had told James many times not to call him that in front of people. He saw Severus smirking and he showed him the middle finger. Then he sighed. James would never learn. "I was thinking about Draco… Narcissa had so many complications during her birth. At one point, the medi-witch actually asked me if I wanted her to save my wife or my son."

"How terrible! How could she ask something like that?" James asked.

"Indeed. I was horrified, too." Lucius said, looking away to avoid Severus' sneer. Lucius couldn't tell James that it hadn't been such a tough decision to make. He had chosen Draco, of course. Draco was his heir, and even though he didn't wish the death of his wife, he didn't love her either. Severus knew about that because he had been with him at the time. "She was very insensitive."

Lucius heard Severus snort and he felt like kicking him.

"Harry's birth went very well," James said, ruffling Harry's hair. "Lily didn't feel a thing, and four hours later there he was, with his big green eyes staring at us. You were so cute, Harry. Your mother and I spent hours next to your cradle."

Harry smiled. He didn't know anything about that time. He wanted to hear more about it and about his mother. But Severus snorted again, and Harry had the feeling that he wasn't as excited as Harry was to hear about his parents' life, especially Lily, who he had loved so much.

"I'm sure Erin and the baby will be fine," Harry said gently.

Severus stopped walking and crossed his arms. "Is that so?" he asked with a sneer. Harry felt like bashing him. He was just trying to be nice.

"Yes. I mean, Narcissa had complications, too, right? But in the end, everything was fine," Harry said, trying to stay calm. He hated the look of disdain on Severus' face. He'd expected things to be different between them after spending the night together in the hut and opening their hearts to each other. But Severus was the same old bastard as usual. "Look," he said clenching his fists. "It doesn't hurt to hope, does it? I'm sure Erin will be fine. I mean, she has Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore and McGonagall in the room with her."

"Why am I not surprised that Dumbledore also delivers babies? He can do pretty much everything," Lucius sneered, talking to himself. "I wonder if he can fly on his own, too…"

"You lot are always telling me to hope," Harry said, ignoring Lucius. "You said it yourself that night that…" Severus shot Harry a warning look, and Harry covered his mouth with his hand, but the damage was done. He knew he had said something stupid, especially when his father asked suspiciously, "What night?"

"Just this night… I was just wandering at night and Professor Snape…"

"You were wandering alone at night?" James fumed. "Didn't I tell you to stay inside your chambers?"

"It was just this one time and…" Harry tried to explain.

"Where did you meet him, Snape?" James asked, ignoring Harry.

"What does it matter?" Severus questioned defensively.

"Why, Severus, I didn't know you were sexually harassing your students," Lucius smirked. "I hope you didn't try anything with Draco."

Lucius knew Severus had no inclinations of that kind because he had already tried to take Severus into his bed. But nobody needed to know that. Besides, it was always fun to play with Severus.

"Just shut up, Lucius," Severus ordered angrily. He didn't have time for this stupid discussion.

"I want to know," James demanded.

"I don't think so," Severus smirked.

"Dad, please… He wasn't…" James sent Harry a cross look and Harry closed his mouth.

James stood next to Severus and glared at him aggressively. "You better start talking."

"What do you want me to say? That your son and I spent the night in Hagrid's hut because of his stupidity?"

James and Lucius opened his eyes wide. Harry hid his face behind his hands.

"Did you really sleep together?" Lucius asked, staring at Harry.

Harry glared at him behind his fingers. "It wasn't like that! We just talked!"

"Oh, how bloody romantic!" Lucius didn't seem to find the situation so amusing anymore. He looked rather upset. Harry wondered what that was all about. "Severus, aren't you ashamed? He's just a kid!"

"I'll kill you!" shouted James before going for Severus' throat.

Severus ducked and Lucius and Harry tried to hold James.

"It wasn't like that!" Severus shouted, upset. "Your son was stupid enough to try to go after Draco, and I just happened to be passing by at the time! We were stuck in Hagrid's hut because of the snowstorm. I didn't touch your son! I was actually looking after him, something that you should be doing! But instead, you were screwing Malfoy!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" James exclaimed, his face reddened from anger.

"I was doing your job, Potter, like I've been doing ever since Harry came to this school, and even before that! I even told Dumbledore to get him out of that horrible muggle house. Dumbledore seemed to think that it was better for him to stay there, and after a while, so did I."

Harry was shocked by the revelation. Severus had been watching over him since he was just a baby. He didn't know whether he should be grateful or enraged.

"I'm trying to be a good father! In case you haven't noticed, I didn't even know I had a son until recently."

"You can use that as an excuse, but the fact remains that so far you've been doing a lousy job of taking care of him," Severus accused. "You're more worried about your affair with Lucius than about your son! Harry could have died of hypothermia if I hadn't caught him in time."

James looked down. Severus' words had stung his heart deeply. Severus was right. He was a lousy father. He should be taking better care of Harry instead of worrying about his relationship with Lucius.

"Now, Severus, you're crossing the line," Lucius said. "James has been trying his best."

"No, he's right," James said sadly.

"No, he isn't," said Harry. "I'm the one who keeps pushing you away when you want to get closer."

"Harry…" James whispered emotionally.

"Tell him you apologise, Severus," said Lucius.

Severus frowned. "What the hell is wrong with you, Lucius? Now you're suddenly James Potter's whore?"

"Don't talk to him like that!" James shouted before Lucius could curse Severus. "I know you don't like me, but keep Lucius and Harry out of this. My relationship with Lucius is none of your concern! We're lovers, yes, and we respect each other."

"I don't give a damn about your relationship with Lucius! I'm just telling you that you've been neglecting your son in order to be with your _respectful_ lover. The kid can't even talk to you. Lucky for you I was there for him that night, because Merlin knows what he might have done!"

James clenched his fists. He wanted to break Severus' face very badly. What he said next cost him a lot, "I'm thankful for your help, and for all the occasions you helped Harry in the past. But don't forget that you are not his father. I am. So you can just back off, because I'll take care of Harry from now on."

James' words were like a punch to Severus' face. Severus kept his head up, but he was hurt. James had helped him realise something he had tried to deny all these years. Severus did want to be Harry's father, and in a way, he considered himself as such.

Harry didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if he had ever considered Severus a father figure. Had he? Maybe he had. Perhaps he had wanted Snape as his father. And he did think that James spent too much time with Lucius. But he couldn't help but love them both. Both men were trying their best to take care of him. Both had many ghosts to confront. He wanted them to get along.

"Dad… Professor…" Harry said, and James, Severus and Lucius stared at him in expectation. "I… I like you b…"

The door of Erin's bedroom was suddenly opened, and Dumbledore came out with a grin. "Congratulations, my friend! It's a wonderful boy, and he and Erin are both fine. You can see them now."

---------------------------

Severus tiptoed inside the room unsure of what to do. The situation was completely new to him. He didn't know how he should behave. The anger and frustration he had felt before were now totally gone. All that was left in his heart was relief and unconditional love with a little bit of uncertainty about his future as a father.

He had been terrified of losing Erin. He couldn't imagine his world without her anymore. She had annoyed him and tested his patience like no other woman. She had challenged him both physically and mentally. She had made her way into the ice wall he had built around his heart and now he couldn't let go of her. He had given his heart to her, and now she had the responsibility to be with him and love him for the rest of their lives.

But even though Erin had broken so many of his emotional barriers, it was still hard to just relax. He had opened an exception to Erin, but he didn't know if he could do the same for the baby she was holding. Erin looked so exhausted, but she still smiled and winked at him. He thought he had never seen her looking so beautiful even with bags under her eyes and her short hair all dishevelled. And all of that drama because of the little fellow that was in her arms.

"We won't bite, you know?" Erin said in a whisper. "Come and meet little Harold."

Severus wrinkled his nose. "Harold? Not in a million years, Erin."

Her clean giggle melted his heart and his hardened expression softened a little. "I thought I could give it a try. But ok. No Harold, then. What do you want to call him?"

Severus finally came closer to her bed and stared at the little person in her arms. His breath got caught in his throat. His son was so small and fragile. He looked as if he might break if Severus touched him. Everything about their child was so tiny. He had tiny hands, fingers, eyes, mouth, ears. But that was obvious, he thought with a grimace. It was a baby, after all. He quickly searched for something that resembled him in his son' features, but didn't find any similarities except for the black eyes. He breathed in relief. His baby's nose looked just like Erin's. It was just as small as the rest of him. His son wouldn't have to put up with stupid jokes about his big nose like Severus had to.

"He doesn't look like a Harold," he said, still afraid of touching his son.

"How about Matthew?"

Severus frowned. He wasn't sure about Matthew either. The truth was that he did like Harold. But then, everybody would call his son Harry. He didn't want comparisons with the Boy-Who-Lived, or worse, someone talking behind his back that he had chosen Harry for his son's name because of Harry Potter.

"I like Theo," he said after pondering for a while.

"Just Theo?"

"Yes, just Theo. I think he looks like a Theo," he said defensively.

She smiled at him and then at their son. "Ok. Hi, little Theo! Say hi to daddy!" Erin gently caught Theo's hand and waved it to Severus. Severus pressed his lips together and wrinkled his forehead. He was feeling very emotional, but he didn't want to show her how much. He was trying very hard to contain his emotions. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked. His last remains of self-control were all gone when she handed their son to him. "_Hold_ him, Severus; don't just catch him as if he's a bomb! Don't be afraid. He's a baby. He won't do anything to harm you."

He wasn't so sure about that. That kid would give him a lot of headaches, he was sure of it. Kids were trouble. Just look at Harry and how he had turned out. Severus wouldn't have a moment's rest now that Theo was born. Not that he had peace and quiet before Theo… He had to watch out for his son now. The little kid was so small, so fragile. Of course he would need a guardian, someone to tell him what was right and wrong, to educate him. And the right man for the job was Severus. Erin was too light-headed. She would probably spoil little Theo like she spoiled her students.

He held Theo awkwardly. He was afraid of holding him closer. It was pathetic. He, who had faced Death Eaters and Voldemort himself, was terrified of a newborn. It suddenly struck him that he was now a _father_. He was responsible for the one in his arms. He had never thought about having kids. He hated children. He was bitter and cold. His son would hate him as soon as he started to talk and think for himself. And Erin had the courage to tell him that Theo wasn't dangerous!

Theo sensed his anxiety and he opened his black eyes – that looked so much like Severus' –to look straight at Severus. Severus felt his heartbeat stop. Theo looked like he was about to cry. Severus thought about handing him back to Erin, but instead he pulled him closer. And his heart immediately filled up with joy. He'd never felt so protective and possessive about someone in his life. Little Theo made a funny face, yawned and leaned his head against Severus' chest, falling asleep immediately to the beat of Severus' heart. Severus felt a twitch in his mouth and the next thing he knew he was grinning.

"Aw! You two look so cute together!" Erin said, trying hard to keep her voice down. "This occasion calls for a picture!"

Severus almost went blind at the sudden light that flashed in his face. He blinked a few times and then glared moodily at James, who was holding a camera in his hands. Harry and Lucius were also there. Harry congratulated Erin while Lucius just watched them from afar. Severus called them all intruders and wondered when they had sneaked in, but then he stared at Theo and forgot about everything else.

"His name is Theo," Erin told Harry and James.

Lucius and Severus exchanged a look, and Severus silently told him to keep his mouth shut. The name Theo was familiar to Lucius. Theo had been Severus' grandfather on his mother's side. Severus used to be sent to his grandfather's house when his father was too violent. There he had had the time of his life. But Theo had died when Severus was in his second year at Hogwarts, leaving him alone to bear his father's harshness. Severus had resented him at first, but then he had realised how stupid he was behaving and he had promised himself that if he ever had a son, it would be named after his grandfather.

"It's a beautiful name," Harry said coming closer to Severus to look at Theo. "He's so cute. And he doesn't look like you, Sir."

Severus scowled at Harry, who stuck his tongue out at him. Severus made a face. That was what he got for being nice to Harry. The brat thought they were friends now. Severus made a mental note to take points from Gryffindor for Harry's cheekiness.

"He really is cute," James said, joining Harry's side.

"I bet you're thanking heavens that he doesn't look like you, Severus," mocked Lucius.

"Just shut up," Severus grunted. His hardened expression instantly softened when his eyes went back to his son. He handed the baby back to Erin when he saw Dumbledore discretely calling him from the door.

James and Lucius followed him outside. One look at Dumbledore's face and Severus knew that something was terribly wrong. Dumbledore guided them to an empty room inside the Hospital Wing, far away from Erin's room, and cast an Imperturbable Charm on the door. He wanted to make sure that Harry wouldn't listen to their conversation.

"What?" Lucius asked ahead of Severus.

"I'm afraid there are complications… I've just received some dreadful news from the Black Fortress. We must gather the Order's members at once and prepare ourselves for battle. We don't know if the news is true or false, but we better be ready. Voldemort will send Death Eaters to a muggle neighbourhood tonight."

"That can't be!" James exclaimed. "He never attacked a muggle neighbourhood so openly. And on Christmas! He's insane!"

"Tell us something new about Voldemort, Potter," Lucius smirked. "We all know he's insane!"

"But he never attacked…"

"Yes, James, but this time he might do it. I'll try to warn the Ministry, but I don't think Fudge will listen to me… That's why I need all of you right now. Gather everyone you can to help us. We must have an army ready by tonight. We won't let Voldemort harm anyone. Lucius, get in contact with those friends of yours from Knockturn Alley and see if there's any truth in the message. James, find Sirius. And Severus… I don't want you in this battle," the Headmaster said carefully but decisively.

"What?" Severus couldn't believe his ears. "Why not?"

"You need to stay here with Erin and your son. And I need you to keep an eye on Harry."

"Headmaster, I won't be left out of this! I…"

"Draco might be there," Dumbledore said worriedly. "In Little Whinging. That's where Voldemort plans to attack. You know what this means, don't you?"

"It's Harry's old neighbourhood," Severus said, thunderstruck.

"It means Voldemort wants to lure Harry there," Lucius said. He looked relatively calm on the outside, but James knew he was worried about Draco. "That crazy bastard! My son is not a toy!"

"But Little Whinging is a safe place for Harry, right? Dumbledore cast spells all over the place to protect him." James pointed out. "Even if Harry goes there, which I would never allow, he can't harm my son…"

"You don't get it James," Lucius cut across him coldly. "Voldemort has Draco. My son is a weapon against yours. It doesn't matter what spells there are around to protect Harry. Your son will go after mine, and you know he will be unprotected. He's in love and he's foolish."

"Lucius is right," Severus said. "Harry is foolish enough to go after Draco and let himself get caught. Besides, Little Whinging isn't as safe as it used to be. Voldemort already broke almost all wards that protected it the first time he tried to catch Harry there. I'll lock Harry here if I have to, but I won't let him out of my sight"

"Thank you, Severus. Please, don't let Harry trick you. Don't let him notice what is going on, even though he will… There won't be a Christmas feast tonight. When he doesn't see James and Sirius, he will know something is wrong. That's why I need you here, Severus." Dumbledore sighed. "We both know Harry is very hard to catch once he is determined to escape. And he _will_ try to escape."

"I won't let him," Severus said firmly.

Severus noticed how bothered James was by the fact that Dumbledore trusted someone like Severus to watch over his son. Severus thanked Dumbledore silently for making James see that he was Harry's true guardian. Then he wondered why he cared in the first place.

"Very well, then. Gentlemen, we must act at once. Good luck to us all…" Dumbledore left the room with quick steps. McGonagall, who had been waiting for him at the front door of the infirmary, went after him.

"Snape…" James began uncertainly. "I don't care what you do. Just keep Harry away from that place."

"Now you trust me," Severus smirked.

"_Dumbledore_ trusts you. That's enough for now. But I swear to god that if you do anything to hurt my son, I will kill you," James threatened.

"I'm not afraid of you. But don't worry. I won't hurt him. Not if he obeys me."

Lucius held James before the raven-haired man could hit Severus. "Severus, this isn't the time to play the Slytherin. Just ease the man's worries, for Merlin's sake. We don't have all day."

Severus snorted and then said, "I would give my life for him. Is that enough, Potter?"

James set himself free from Lucius' grip after assuring his lover that he was calmer.

"Just look after him," James said.

---------------------------

Lucius was getting ready to go to Knockturn Alley when James entered their room hastily. He seemed relieved to verify that Lucius was still in the castle, which pleased Lucius a lot. It was always unexpected when James showed Lucius how much he cared for him. It made Lucius more certain about their future together. The older Malfoy was always concerned about the day James would realise his mistake in being with him and then he would leave Lucius. It was so unbearable to think about that Lucius still couldn't relax when they were together. It did feel good to be with James, but Lucius still felt the need to hide behind his sneer. He wanted to be away from the hell they were living. If only Voldemort wasn't in their way, then they could take their time to work on their relationship.

It was funny to think about those things. Lucius often thought he was wrong for James. He had committed so many sins and made so many mistakes in his life that he had lost count. Lucius was still trying to figure himself out. He didn't know who he was. Everybody knew Lucius was a coward. He would sell his soul if he had to. But would he sell off James? He was terrified of his evil side.

It was true that being with James brought out the best in him. Lucius wasn't only worried about Draco anymore, but about Harry too. He was even thinking about apologising to his ex-wife for all the bad things he had done to her. But what if that sudden humanity of his had an expiration date?

One look into James' eyes, though, and he knew he would never betray his lover. He was in love after all. He had lost James once. He wouldn't lose him again. It didn't matter if the Dark Lord tempted him with power and fortune. James was his soul mate, his love. Nothing could match that.

James smiled at him feebly and Lucius felt a pang in his heart. He wanted to take James and disappear. The old Lucius would have done just that. But now he was on the right side, and so he had to stay and fight. He had a sinking premonition of what was to come and felt a chill. He knew tonight would be tough. They would have to face not only Death Eaters, but also their inner demons. This was the night Lucius would have to prove once and for all that he was on James' side and against Voldemort. Decisions would have to be made quickly, and he hoped to make the right ones. It would be a night to redeem his soul. He was determined to protect his lover and his son with his life. That was how strong his love was for James and his son.

When James stopped inches away from him, Lucius cupped the brunette's face and kissed him fully on the lips. James responded to him fervently and willingly.

"I love you," Lucius whispered against James' mouth, their noses touching in an Eskimo kiss. James' eyes flickered.

"And I love when you say that, but please don't sound like this is goodbye."

"Anything could happen tonight. Every single Death Eater will go after my head. There are no guarantees of success, so if anything happens to me, please, take care of Draco."

"If you don't come back to me alive, I'll never forgive you!" James hissed, and he kissed Lucius hard on the lips. "I love you, idiot. Don't you dare leave me now."

Lucius gripped James' hands. "It's not up to me, James."

James sighed. "I know. Just watch out. You were always sneaky. Keep being that way."

"You too. Be careful, James. I… I couldn't bear to be without you anymore."

James was touched by Lucius' words. He knew how hard it was for Lucius to say them.

"Everything will be fine," James assured, even though he wasn't sure at all. He held Lucius tightly. He didn't want to let go of him ever again. After everything they had been through to be together, it would be unfair if one of them were taken away. James didn't want to think about it. It hurt too much. "Just be safe."

Lucius nodded, burying his face in James's thick hair. He prayed silently for the best. He'd protect James and Draco even if it cost his life.

------------------------

Something was terribly wrong. Harry could feel the tension in the air. People were acting strange, as if they were trying very hard to hide something from him. James had given him such a tight hug Harry thought he heard his bones snapping. Snape was quieter than usual. The only one acting normally was Lucius, but then again he was a Malfoy. Lucius was a master at disguising his true feelings.

When the clock said eight o'clock and no one called him to take part in the Christmas feast, Harry left his room and tried to reach the Great Hall, but Snape got in his way. They stared at each other for a moment. Perhaps it was only an impression, but Harry sensed that Snape was blocking his way.

"What's going on?" Harry asked with distrust.

"Nothing," Severus answered indifferently.

"Can I pass?"

"Why?"

Harry arched an eyebrow. "I'm hungry. Isn't it time for the Christmas feast?"

"There won't be a feast today," Severus informed, and before Harry could ask why, he said, "The Headmaster is busy at the moment. You know how it is for him now. There are too many decisions to be made concerning the Order. He decided to do the feast tomorrow."

Harry opened his eyes widely at the mention of the Order. "What happened?"

"It's none of your concern, Potter. Don't be insolent. Just go back to your room. We'll talk tomorrow." Severus turned to leave but Harry followed him.

"Wait a minute! What do you mean? I'm hungry! I understand that we can't have a feast without Dumbledore, but my father and many other teachers are still in the castle. We have to eat, right?"

"You'll eat, Potter. The house-elves will bring a tray to your room. Just go back and wait."

"Ok, then," Harry said, upset. "I'll go back to my room."

Harry sounded strangely obedient. Severus didn't like that at all. The Potions Master waited for Harry to disappear around a corner before following him. He knew Harry was up to something. He wasn't wrong. Harry didn't go back to his room. He stopped in front of James' room and knocked on his door. Severus groaned.

"Didn't I tell you to go to your room?" Severus asked, making Harry jump.

"Jesus! What are you doing here? Were you following me?" Harry accused.

Severus frowned. "Watch your language, Potter. I don't need to give you my reasons."

Harry bit his lower lip. He ignored Severus and knocked on James' door again. "Dad? Are you there?"

"He's not there, Potter," Severus said quietly.

Harry looked at him and Severus could tell that his level of suspicion had increased.

"Where is he?" Harry asked.

"He's with Dumbledore."

"What about Malfoy?"

"Lucius also has business to attend to."

"On Christmas Eve?"

Severus just shrugged. Harry's mind was working furiously. There _was_ something going on.

"And Sirius? He's here, right? He told me he wouldn't miss spending Christmas with me. It will be his first Christmas as a free man."

"Black is with Narcissa. He'll see you when he's done."

"Done? Doing what?"

Severus cursed his big mouth. "Look, Potter, enough with the inquiries! Just go back to your room! It's an order."

"Not until you tell me what's going on," Harry said with his heart pounding madly in his chest. He was definitely worried now. His father and Sirius weren't there. That could only mean one thing. Voldemort was up to something and the Order had been called to discuss the matter.

"Nothing's going on, Potter."

"That's a lie! My father was supposed to be here and so was Sirius! They wouldn't leave without telling me, unless they had something to hide. If you don't tell me what it is, I'll find out for myself!" And before Severus could catch him, Harry ran away from him and darted to the stairs.

Severus cursed him. He took his wand out of his pocket as he darted after Harry, aiming at the Gryffindor boy, but he was afraid of shooting. He didn't want to hurt the boy. Harry could fall down the stairs and get seriously wounded. The only weapon he could use against Harry was blackmail.

"Potter! If you don't stop right now I will take fifty points from Gryffindor!" he shouted.

Harry ignored him. Severus quickened his pace, but he wasn't a match for Harry's speed. It was only when they reached the stairs to the Great Hall that Harry stopped. Short of breath, Severus stopped next to him and gripped his arms. Harry didn't look like he was going any further though. The boy seemed paralysed and shocked by what he saw downstairs.

There were many witches and wizards gathered there, mumbling to each other. They constantly checked their wands and robes as if they were afraid of forgetting something. It took only one look to realise that they were preparing for battle and they were afraid. Some wizards had a horrified expression on their faces. Harry's eyes scanned the room in search of his father and Sirius, and he was shocked to find Mrs. Weasley, Bill, and Charlie among them.

"What…" Harry whispered. His body was shaking with anxiety.

"Are you happy now, Potter? You've seen too much already. Let's go," Severus grunted, trying to pull Harry away from there.

Harry refused to move. Now that he had seen the uproar he wouldn't leave. "It's Voldemort, isn't it? He's up to something! On Christmas Eve! Tell me the truth, because at this point it's impossible to lie! Don't tell me this is just a regular meeting, because I won't believe you."

Severus wanted to teach Harry some good manners, but Harry was right about a few things. It really was impossible to lie to him at that point. "You already know what's going on. It's a war, Potter. Voldemort will make his move. We'll have to counterattack. You shouldn't be here…"

"Of course I should be here! Voldemort wants _me_, right?"

"Don't be stupid, Potter. He does want you, but his goal surpasses you."

"Then why didn't you want to tell me? Why was everybody trying so hard to hide this from me?" Harry asked grimly.

"A war is not a place for a kid."

"I'm not a kid! I saw Cedric die! I know how merciless Voldemort can be. I've been hit by an Unforgivable Curse! Don't treat me like I'm a stupid brat, because I am not."

Severus pressed his lips together, annoyed. "You know, we _are_ trying to protect you. No one would allow you to fight this battle. So don't make things more difficult than they already are. These men have too much to worry about. If you really consider yourself an adult, then behave like one and go back to your room."

"Not until you tell me exactly what's going on."

Severus lost his patience. "I already told you! Voldemort is going to strike."

"Where?"

"That doesn't matter."

"WHERE?" Harry shouted.

And before Severus could shout back, the Hall went silent and almost everyone turned their eyes on Harry and Severus.

"Harry! What are you doing here?"

Harry followed that voice and his eyes met his father's. James looked terribly pale at seeing him there.

"Dad!" Harry wanted to say many things to James, but his voice seemed to be stuck in his throat. He wanted to ask to come along, to be near his father. Suddenly the meaning of that battle struck him hard. They were at _war_. It wasn't just something far away anymore. This wasn't just a regular Order of the Phoenix meeting. It was for real. The war had finally caught them, and it was horrible. Harry could sense fear in the air. He could see how shaken those witches and wizards were. Some of them might not come back after tonight's battle. For that reason, he wanted his father to stay. Harry had just met James. He couldn't bear to lose him. They had barely said goodbye to each other. "Dad…"

Harry's feet finally regained the strength to move, but Severus' firm grip on his arms stopped him from going any further. Harry tried to get free, but it was in vain.

"Let go of me! Dad!"

"Snape!" James shouted, climbing the stairs furiously. "You were supposed to be watching him! He shouldn't be here!" The uproar started again. James ignored the murmuring around him. "Just take him away."

"What?" Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I have a right to be here!"

"No, you don't, Harry. This isn't the place for you," James said, upset.

"But… I want to go with you."

James' expression softened. He came closer to Harry and stroked his face. "I know. But not today. You aren't ready for something like this."

"And you are? You're still getting better! You shouldn't go!"

"I have to."

"But…"

"Please, Harry." James hugged Harry tightly. "Don't make this harder on me. Please."

Harry wanted to shout at James, to hit him, but instead he just enlaced James' neck and rested his head on James' shoulder. "I don't want to lose you," he muttered against James' ear. James smiled feebly as he stroked Harry's hair.

"Hey, kiddo, don't be so pessimistic. Who says you're going to lose me, huh?" James cupped Harry's face and touched their foreheads together. "Just promise me you will stay here. No matter what, you will stay, Harry."

Harry didn't want to promise something like that. It would be very difficult to keep that promise. Harry had thought about going back to his room only to find a way to escape. He couldn't be left behind in such an important battle. But then again, he wouldn't be useful. He would just be a nuisance. And James would be too concerned about him to worry about anything else. Harry didn't want to put his father in danger.

"Ok, I promise. I'll stay."

James smiled and kissed Harry's forehead. "I'll be back."

Harry watched his father joining Sirius at the bottom of the stairs and then mingling with the rest of the crowd. Sirius winked at him before following James. Harry felt a pang in his heart. Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere at Harry's side and once again the Hall went deeply silent.

"My dear friends, the time we all feared has come again. Voldemort," At the mention of the Dark Lord's name, most winced. Dumbledore kept going, "Yes, my friends, Voldemort is back, and he will strike tonight, as you all know by now. He will attack an innocent muggle neighbourhood and rumours are that he will take prisoners to his infamous Concentration Camp. We can't let that happen, under any circumstances. A very strong spell will be cast upon that neighbourhood in order to prevent muggles from noticing our presence. It won't be easy, so I ask you to avoid hitting anything muggle. We are going to protect them. If any of you have something against muggles, then I ask you to stay behind." Dumbledore shot a piercing look over the crowd.

Harry, who had been under that look before, knew just how intimidating it could be. Most of the time Dumbledore looked and acted like a loving grandfather to everyone, but there were times one was reminded that Dumbledore was not just the Headmaster of one of the most prominent wizards' schools in the whole world, but also the most powerful wizard alive.

"I don't like this any more than you do," Dumbledore said. "I'm a peaceful man. But there are times that a man has to do what he must. This is one of those times. The Dark Lord knows no mercy just remember that. His Death Eaters are as heartless as he is. But also remember that they are humans just like us. Some of them are there not because they want to be, but because Voldemort blackmailed them, or put them under Imperius. Avoid useless bloodshed as much as you can. Don't let Voldemort trick you. Trust the partner beside you. Voldemort's favourite weapon is distrust. He will use it against you and your friend. Believe and trust yourselves. Don't be afraid. Together, we can beat him."

Hagrid appeared beside the Headmaster and whispered something in his ears. Dumbledore nodded at whatever Hagrid was saying, and then he turned to the crowd again. "It is time. Let the strength of Merlin and all of our ancestors be with you tonight."

Some cheered, others stayed as quiet as they were through the entire speech. Severus didn't like the apprehension he felt in the air.

"A little apprehension is good, my dear Severus," said Dumbledore.

"It doesn't seem like just a little," pointed out Severus looking at some of the wizards downstairs.

"Well, they have yet to hear my best speech!" Dumbledore said with a smile. "This was just an introduction." He winked at Severus and Harry, and then descended the stairs. "Harry, I know you. Just watch out."

Severus and Harry frowned at that. Severus shot a distrustful look at Harry, who blushed.

"If you try anything stupid, Potter, I'll personally write your letter of expulsion. Don't think I won't," Severus hissed.

Harry ignored Severus and turned around to shake Hagrid's big hand. "Good luck, Hagrid."

"Thanks, Harry. But with Dumbledore on our side, we're goin' to win."

Hagrid patted Harry's back fondly, almost knocking him off his feet, and then the half-giant followed Dumbledore. Severus noticed how sad and worried Harry looked, and he pitied the child. He reached his hand down to squeeze Harry's shoulder, but he retrieved it in time. If he did that, Harry would never respect him again.

"Come on, Potter. Let's go."

"I want to see them leaving," Harry said without taking his eyes off of his father.

"Trust me, you don't."

Harry looked at Severus and realised the Potions master was serious about it. He wondered what kind of experiences Severus had in his life, and what had built his difficult character. The night they had spent in Hagrid's hut came back to him. Harry felt the same curiosity of that night. He wanted to know Severus better. And he was surprised to realise that maybe, just maybe, he was developing a crush on his grumpy Potions master. He was horrified at the thought. He shook his head in order to erase those things from his mind and then looked at his father again. They were leaving already. James and Sirius waved at him one last time before disappearing outside the castle.

And then he understood the reason why Severus didn't want him to watch them leave. It seemed so final, so sad. He wanted to run after them, but he had promised his father he would stay in the castle. Even if Dumbledore thought differently, this time Harry would obey James. He sighed deeply, his heart thumping in his ears, a rush of adrenaline running through his bloodstream. He told himself to calm down. He wouldn't go anywhere tonight. He couldn't. No matter how much he felt like breaking his promise to James, he would behave this time.

"Do you want something to eat?" Severus asked strangely kind.

Harry shook his head. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"You have to eat something, Potter. Come on." Severus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry looked up, surprised. "You want to have dinner with me?"

Severus wrinkled his nose. "I do. Don't think too much about it. Just say yes or no, and then we can go to the Hospital Wing to have dinner with Erin."

In spite of all his worries and afflictions, Harry smiled. "All right."

As he walked beside Severus to the Hospital Wing, he wondered how long it would take before his wild spirit rebelled against his promise.

------------------------------

Alex had gotten worse. His entire body was on fire, and he kept muttering unintelligible words. Remus knew Alex had a fever and that he was delirious. He knew Alex had to rest and take his healing potions. But now was not the time. Now was time for them to leave that horrible place. Remus only prayed for them to make it out alive.

Leading their way out was Blaise Zabini, a Slytherin boy that had taken Remus by surprise. Remus had never thought that Blaise was so brave and loyal. Remus had come to Blaise for help not really expecting any, but the boy had exceeded his expectations. Blaise had not only pointed out a secret passage that was rarely used and known by other Death Eaters and that would take them out of the Black Fortress in relative safety, but he had also offered Remus to be their guide along the way. So now they were walking through a long and dark corridor underground with only their wands to light the way. Remus was tired from carrying Alex, but he was hanging on the best he could.

Alex had tried to dissuade Remus from taking him along, but nothing he said had convinced Remus to leave Alex and run away alone. And because Alex had seen such determination and love in Remus' eyes, he had let himself be carried away by Remus' crazy idea. Alex didn't cry under any circumstances – he had learned to keep his emotions to himself when living with his father – but as he realised that Remus could actually love him, he had felt like crying. There was nothing he wanted more than Remus' love, and now it was too late. Alex knew he didn't have much time left to live.

"Remus…" Alex whispered. The mere effort of lifting his eyelashes hurt, but he tried anyway. He wanted to look at Remus and thank him for caring about him, for loving him in the end.

"Alex!" Remus stopped walking to look at Alex. "What's wrong?"

"Hey, we can't stop! We have to keep going!" Blaise said hastily.

Alex shook his head and asked to sit down and rest for a few seconds.

"This is a very bad idea," Blaise muttered, looking behind them to see if they were being followed.

"Alex is sick, Blaise. He needs to rest," Remus explained patiently.

"The boy is right, Remus. It is a bad idea to stop here. You should go and leave me."

Remus shook his head. "We already had this conversation, Alex. I won't leave you."

"But Remus… I'm dying. I'll only slow you down. Just leave me and go. Save yourself. I will die anyway, so I want you to stop thinking about me and think about yourself." Alex was shivering. Remus took off his own cloak and wrapped it up around Alex to keep him warm. "Please, Remus. Just go."

"Stop saying that!" Remus exclaimed angrily. His eyes began to flicker. He realised he was about to cry. But he couldn't cry. There was no time for tears. He was exhausted and ready to give up, but he had come this far already. He would keep going, and he would take Alex with him. "Blaise, how long till the exit?"

Blaise sighed and leaned against the stone wall with his hands in his pockets. "I'm not really sure. Maybe twenty minutes or so."

Remus buried his fingers in his hair, frustrated. "_Twenty minutes_? I feel like we have been walking for hours!"

"Well, I only used this passage twice. I'm sorry, but this passage is the best way to escape from the Black Fortress without calling too much attention from the guards. Almost nobody knows about this passage."

"How did you find out about it?" Remus asked.

Blaise smiled. "Draco. He's obsessed with his safety. He wanted a safe getaway in case the fortress was attacked and we were surrounded. The Dark Lord showed him this himself. It seems that this corridor is for the top ten only, if you know what I mean. Only You-Know-Who's best men have the password for this place."

"And you know about it."

"Well, of course. I'm Draco's _servant_, right? I know everything." Blaise didn't seem happy about it. Remus could only imagine what a burden it was for a boy of such a young age to have to act like a spy and mingle among the enemies. Remus felt even angrier about this stupid war Voldemort had restarted. Boys like Blaise, Draco and Harry should only be worried about school grades and dates. They shouldn't be worried about praying to stay alive and fighting such an unfair battle.

"I'm really sorry," Remus said. Blaise shot him a curious look and he added, "I'm sorry for putting you in such a situation. I'm sorry for all of us. You shouldn't be here at all. You're so young… A war is no place for a kid…"

Blaise just shrugged. "I'm not a kid. I knew all about pain and discrimination long before this stupid war started. But this really sucks. This place is so horrible that sometimes I find myself missing my father's house…" Blaise bit his cheek hard for talking too much. There was something about Remus that made him want to open his heart. "Do you know why I'm helping you today? Because I'm a coward. I don't want to go to Surrey. I don't want to take part in that battle."

Remus gave him a half-smile. "I don't think of you as a coward. Helping me is proof of that. You have to be very brave to show me this way and offer to take me to the exit. This could create a lot of trouble for you. Are you sure you don't want to come with me to Hogwarts?"

Blaise sighed sadly. "I can't."

Once again, Remus felt like crying, because whether he liked it or not, Blaise was at the moment the most important spy for the Order. No matter how much he wanted to take Blaise with him, the boy had a mission to accomplish. Blaise needed to stay for the good of the cause. Remus had never felt as angry about the world as he felt now. He wanted to tell the cause to fuck off and leave them alone. Alex coughed beside him and Remus turned around to measure his temperature. As he feared, Alex was running with high fever.

"We have to go," Blaise said suddenly alert. "I think I heard something." The boy took out his wand and pointed at the darkness behind them.

"Alex, can you get up?" Remus asked worriedly.

Alex's cloudy eyes seemed very far away when he looked at Remus and said, "I don't think so. I'm so tired…"

"No, Alex!" Remus knelt down next to Alex and stroked his face. "Please, just a few more minutes and then I'll be able to take care of you. Please, Alex. Don't give up on me now. Please…"

Alex smiled feebly. "I love you. I just wish we had more time…"

"We will!" Remus exclaimed heatedly. "We'll make it out of here, and then you'll get better. I'll be able to take care of you properly. And then we will stay together."

"Dammit! Someone is coming!" Blaise muttered, whipping his wand out and asking Remus to do the same. "Be quiet!" he ordered. All they could hear in the intense darkness was their breathing. Blaise was almost lighting his wand again when a flash of light fell upon his eyes, making him temporarily blind. He cursed silently.

"Well, well, well," said a hideous voice. "What do we have here?"

It was Macnair, one of Voldemort's most loyal servants. Macnair was known for his cruel attitude. The man in front of him wouldn't think twice before casting the killing curse on them if he thought he had to.

"I knew you were scum, boy. I knew it the moment I laid my eyes upon you. You play your part well, I give you that much. But sometimes your phoney subservience slips, just like now. I've been waiting for this moment. You made a very stupid mistake by helping this trash to escape. I told the Dark Lord that it was too risky to trust werewolves, but did he listen to me? He never listens to me. He only listens to that idiot Malfoy kid." Macnair smiled bitterly. "Is Malfoy in this, too? Is he a traitor just like Lucius? I bet he is."

"Draco has nothing to do with this!" Blaise shouted.

"You're denying it so vehemently…" Macnair smirked. "I think you're lying. And I'll enjoy seeing you and that cocky brat being murdered by the Dark Lord."

Blaise tried to cast a spell on Macnair, but the older man was faster. Macnair disarmed Blaise with a flick of his wand and then pointed it at Remus.

"And you… you filthy werewolf… Wormtail was right about you. He told us you were a spy. Now you're going to die! _AVADA KED_…"

"NO!" Blaise jumped on top of Macnair, making the green ray of light deviate from Remus and hit the wall, creating a big hole in it. At the same time, Alex had gathered all the strength he had left to jump in front of Remus to protect him. As the wall behind them exploded, a stone hit Alex in the head. Alex fell to the floor, his body unmoving. Remus' breath got caught in his throat as he knelt down beside Alex.

"Alex? Alex!" Remus shouted. He noticed Alex's head was bleeding profusely, and he covered his mouth with his hand in shock. Alex wasn't breathing. He wasn't moving at all no matter how much Remus tried to wake him up. "Alex!" Remus stroked Alex's face. "Please Alex, don't die… Don't leave me… Please…" Tears started to fall from Remus' eyes copiously. "Please, don't go…"

"Argh!"

Macnair's shout of pain made Remus move his eyes from Alex to him. Blaise had tried to disarm Macnair the best way he could, but now Macnair had the tip of his wand at Blaise's throat, and the older man seemed ready to finish Blaise off. Remus gripped his wand and stood up furiously. His always-serene face was now contorted with rage. He pointed his wand towards Macnair and didn't even think about his actions before screaming the killing curse. Macnair's lifeless body fell to the floor.

There was a moment of silence, and then Remus' body started to shake uncontrollably. He dropped his wand. The reality around him came back with the force of a bludger. Alex was dead. His lover was dead because he had tried to save him. And Remus had killed a man after swearing he wouldn't do it again. Remus sat down next to Alex and put his lover's head on his lap. He stared into space as he stroked Alex's hair softly.

"Professor Lupin, come on! You have to get out of here!" Blaise shouted, but Remus didn't seem to be listening. Blaise knelt down beside him and poked Remus' shoulder. "Professor Lupin! Wake up! You have to get out of here!"

Blaise heard steps coming, and he panicked. He didn't know how he wasn't freaking out like Lupin. He had never really seen someone dead before. He also felt like sitting down and staring into space, trembling, but he couldn't break down. Not when his life depended on his brain to keep functioning. With a groan, he raised his hand and slapped Remus' face as hard as he could. Remus' eyes blinked confusedly.

"Professor, Lupin! You need to go. There's someone else coming. Just save yourself. I can manage from here," Blaise said, surprising himself with his coldness.

Remus stared at him as if he had gone mad. And maybe he had, Blaise thought bitterly. "I won't go anywhere. Alex is dead! He's dead because he tried to save me! I won't leave him. I'll die with him."

"Are you mental? He saved your life! He wanted you to live! So get your werewolf ass out of here before they turn you into zombie's meat. Is that what you want? Because that's what will happen if you stay. Just keep going straight, and then turn left. You'll get to the exit."

Remus didn't want to be turned over to the zombies, but he also didn't want to leave Alex. He didn't think it was fair to him. He didn't think it was right to keep on living. What for? He had lived only a half-life for years. There wasn't any point in escaping anymore. But Blaise kept trying to make him change his mind, and the only thing that made Remus move again was the mention that the Order should be warned about the MCC's location. Remus needed to escape so he could tell the Order about it. Remus bit his lower lip hard until he tasted blood, and then he smiled bitterly. It was all for the good of the cause, wasn't it? He took one last look at Alex, hating himself for leaving him behind. Remus knew he would never forgive himself for what had happened with Alex. He left, but it seemed as if his soul had been left behind.

Blaise watched Remus' saddened figure vanishing in the darkness. He looked down at Alex, trying not to break down and cry. A few minutes later, Goyle appeared with three more Death Eaters. He looked at Blaise and then at Alex and Macnair.

"What happened here?" he asked.

Blaise gulped and then took a deep breath. "Two werewolves were trying to escape. Macnair and I noticed them entering the secret passage and we followed them here."

Goyle frowned. "How did they know about this passage?"

Blaise shrugged. "They must have seen someone using it, and they probably heard the password."

"Like I was saying," Blaise went on. "Macnair and I followed them here, but they attacked us. We managed to kill one, but the other escaped after killing Macnair. I wounded the other one. I don't think he will go too far. Besides, he doesn't know how to walk around here, does he?" Blaise smiled wickedly and Goyle and the others smiled at him too. "The Basilisk will take care of him."

Goyle patted Blaise's back and said, "Good work, Zabini. I'll make sure the Dark Lord will give you a big promotion after this." Goyle looked at Macnair's body and then snorted. "Well, he was useful, I won't deny it. But I never really liked him… And to let himself be killed by a werewolf… What a loser. Leave them here. The Basilisk will eat them." Goyle looked back at Blaise. "We have to go now. Everything is ready for the big mission in Surrey. You're certainly joining us, aren't you?"

Blaise smirked. "Of course."

Goyle nodded happily and then he turned around to leave. Blaise glanced one last time at Alex and he opened his eyes widely. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him, but he thought he saw Alex moving.

"Hey, Zabini! Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, in a sec!" Blaise caught his wand from the floor and then looked at Alex again. He frowned. Alex was dead. He thought he had seen him moving his fingers, but he was probably wrong. In any case, he would come back later to check it. He just hoped the Basilisk didn't catch Alex first.

With a deep sigh, he put his wand back in his waistband and followed Goyle and his crew to the entrance. He never hated his life as much as in that moment.

TBC…


	18. The Battle

A/N: It's been such a long time since the last update. I'm afraid I've lost my touch… And even though I'm not pleased with this chapter, I'm taking my chances. Next chapter will take longer to be out because I want to finish Love Me, Love Me Not first. A special thanks to **Jamie**, my beta reader and friend, and to **Nina**, **Angela** and **Dumbledore** who also helped me out a lot with this chapter. You guys rock! And finally, a huge thanks to those who reviewed the last time. It means a lot, folks!

Chap. 18 – **The ****Battle**

No matter how much Erin tried to force food on him, Harry didn't feel like eating anymore. Ever since he had seen his father leave with the Order, he had completely lost his appetite. It was hard for him to understand how Erin and Severus could remain so calm when somewhere out there all hell was breaking loose. But then again, Erin had just had a baby. She couldn't go anywhere, even if she wanted to. She was worried, but she had to stay calm. Besides, Erin had confidence in the Order. As for Snape, he was just being his usual self. The Potions Master never let his emotions shown; while Harry always had them written on his face.

When Harry made his way back to his room – with Severus glued to him like a watchdog – he felt as if a weight had been placed upon his shoulders. He bid goodbye to Severus after promising him for the tenth time that he wouldn't get crazy and flee. Then he lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

His mind began to drift towards Draco and his whereabouts. He was worried that Draco would be in the battle tonight, which was why his heart was thumping so fast. That was one more reason for him to feel restless and want to break the promise to his father. But he had to stay. His presence wouldn't help anyone; it would only get in the way. If Harry ended up showing his face in battle, then Voldemort would have accomplished his goal. But then again, Harry wasn't so sure that Voldemort wanted him in battle. After all, Harry had only known about it at the last minute, and just because he had suspected something wrong. If Voldemort truly wanted his presence there; wouldn't he make sure that Harry knew about it beforehand? Harry's presence would be a plus, that was for sure. But something was telling Harry that Voldemort wanted something else.

Like Snape had told Harry, not everything was about him. Perhaps Harry wasn't Voldemort's main target this time. In fact, Harry wasn't Voldemort's target at all. Harry was just in Voldemort's way. He was a nuisance. Perhaps Voldemort was only looking for fresh meat to send to his sick Muggle Concentration Camp.

Harry sighed and sat up. Then he headed for the bathroom to take a shower and try to rest. He was close to the door when his head suddenly exploded in pain and a flood of images overtook him. He fell to the floor and let out a scream. He saw Muggles running away from their houses, too scared to keep still as a horde of Death Eaters ran after them. He saw the Order members trying to counterattack and protect the Muggles at the same time, but not succeeding. There were too many Death Eaters, and they were very well-trained and strong. Harry could feel the people's pain and fears. His scar throbbed and bled. He saw Uncle Vernon's house on flames, and Aunt Petunia crying as she grabbed a scared-to-death Dudley.

The Orders members were too unprepared and scared to fight back properly. They seemed to be lost regarding the Muggles, who didn't know who they should trust. Voldemort would accomplish his goal for the night. He would not only have a fresh supply of humans to add to his mix of experiments with zombies, but he would disarm the Order as well and make the wizarding community more terrified of him. And it would be a direct blow on Harry, because the target was Little Whinging.

The lonely figure of Draco appeared in a mist. Draco was quietly watching the Dursley's house burn to ashes, and even though he seemed not to care, Harry could feel his turmoil inside. Draco wasn't immune to other people's sufferings. The blond didn't even want to be there. His heart cried out for Harry reflexively. Pettigrew sneaked behind Draco, his wand ready to strike. Harry shouted for Draco to look out. The blond opened his eyes wide as if he had heard Harry's warning, and then turned around to defend himself. It was then that the images faded away until they vanished completely.

Harry had his hands and knees on the floor, and he remained in that position until he could stop panting and gasping for air. Little Whinging was under attack. Why hadn't they told him? No matter how many bad memories he had of that place, he would never let it be destroyed. A drop of blood fell to the floor and he realised that his scar was still bleeding. He rushed, stumbling to the bathroom to stanch the bleeding. He felt nauseous and threw up the little he had eaten that night in the toilet. When the nausea was gone, he rinsed his mouth out and threw water on his face. His head was spinning, and he was feeling dizzy, but he told himself firmly to get a grip. He couldn't pass out now. He went back to his bedroom and then pondered his options.

There was no one to turn to except Snape, but at that point there wasn't much Snape could do. All of the Order members were in battle. Dumbledore wasn't in Hogwarts to help Harry out. If Harry's vision was true, then the Order was actually losing the battle. Harry couldn't tell if he had seen the present or the future. All he knew was that Draco was in danger, and so were his father, Sirius and all the others. Pettigrew, the rat bastard, was actually trying to kill Draco, Merlin knew why. Harry had to prevent all of those things. He had to warn the Headmaster about it. And he had to save Draco.

He took a deep breath and shouted for his broom and his Invisibility cloak. Then he mounted on his Firebolt and took off without thinking twice about it. He flew through the sky as fast as he could in search for thestrals. They were the only creatures that could show him the way. Harry stopped breathing for a moment as he spotted two black winged-horses with dragonish faces in a clearing in the woods. He dismounted his broom quickly and climbed upon one, hoping that Hagrid wouldn't mind that he was borrowing one of them. A day before, when Hagrid had finally showed him the way to the thestrals, the half-giant had treated those magical creatures as if they were his babies. But Harry needed their help now. Thestrals were known for their superb sense of direction, and Harry would need them to get to Little Whinging as fast as he could. He just hoped that the winged-horse really knew the way to it.

He held firmly to the thestral as it took off, his broom tied to his back. Even though his mind was fully alert to the dangers he would face ahead, he couldn't help feel amazed by the landscape around him. Flying on a thestral was as incredible as flying on a hippogriff. He wrapped his cloak around himself, trying to hide his broom under it as well. Even though thestrals could only be seen by people who had witnessed death – and Harry could bet that most of his enemies had – at least they wouldn't see Harry.

He would be the element of surprise. He would just warn Dumbledore about his vision, or whatever that was, then he would check for himself if Draco, his father and Sirius were ok. And only then would he leave. He didn't know if he would succeed in not being seen, but there was one thing he knew for sure. He would take Draco away with him.

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Draco couldn't believe his bad luck. The night was turning out to be the worst of his life. He thought he would be ready to face anything, but as he watched the chaos around him, he realised how stupid and naive he had been. He didn't know if he should feel glad or angry that the Order of the Phoenix had arrived to fight against them. He deviated from a petrifying spell just a second before it could hit him, and then he hid himself behind a large tree.

He sighed in distress as he watched the battle taking place. Things didn't look good for the Order. They had very good wizards and witches fighting, but most of them seemed terrified and lost. The Death Eaters were crushing most of them. Draco knew the Death Eaters would win this battle. Voldemort's army was more prepared after all, mostly because while the Order cast only defensive spells, the Death Eaters were shooting their most lethal curses. Death Eaters knew no mercy or morals. The Order was too worried about trying to protect the Muggles and themselves, so it was a lot more difficult for them to watch their backs.

His heart beat faster at the sight of two Death Eaters running after an innocent Muggle child, and he heard himself shouting a stunning spell before he could stop himself. The child escaped and both Death Eaters fell to the ground as Draco's spell hit them. Draco sighed in relief, totally forgetting that there could be eyes on him. He turned around and came face to face with Zabini, who was looking at him with a mix of shock and admiration.

"Good shot, Malfoy," Zabini said after regaining his voice.

Draco wrinkled his forehead. "I've never missed a shot, Zabini. But it wasn't such a good idea."

"You just saved that kid's life."

Draco clenched his fists, fighting with his emotions. "I know. But somehow I don't feel any better."

Zabini pulled Draco to the side frantically. "You know this is wrong. This mission is completely pointless."

"It isn't pointless! We're giving Muggles a message," Draco said hesitantly.

"What message? The only message here is that Voldemort is a nutcase! Attacking such a place on Christmas Eve! Muggles everywhere will hear about this. Our community will be in danger. We have to stop them!"

Draco looked at Blaise as if _he_ had gone mental. "Did you hit your head or something? Do you even realise what you're saying? You're going against Voldemort's orders! You're telling me to rebel against him, to betray his cause! You're a traitor!" Draco pointed his wand at Blaise.

"So are you!" Blaise exclaimed, irritated. "You just saved that child! You've hexed two Death Eaters! Who's the bloody traitor here? You don't know this, Draco, but you're being tricked! Fuck, I'm so tired of this! To hell with everything! I can't stand this any longer! If I see another dead person in front of me I'll have a nervous breakdown." Blaise gripped Draco's arms. Draco thought that the usually so cold-blooded Slytherin did indeed seem as if he was about to collapse. "Just wake up already! This isn't you!! Voldemort is toying with you because of Potter!"

Draco was so astonished at the sudden news that he didn't react. He felt a little shaken at the mention of Potter. He didn't know why just the thought of his enemy made him feel that way.

"You and Potter had something, Draco. You were together!"

Draco blinked in shock as the influx of memories from his dream came rushing back to him. He had thought there was something wrong with that dream. It had felt _too_ real to be just an ordinary dream. But he couldn't have had anything with Potter. The idea was unimaginable. Or was it? Draco remembered a time where he had _ogled_ Harry Potter in the past. He did remember that. He opened up his eyes widely as an image of him and Harry crossed his mind. In it, they were running away from zombies in the Dark Forest and entering Hagrid's hut. And then he saw himself kissing Harry. He could feel his own heart beating faster as Harry's lips touched his for the first time, and how thrilled he had felt to have Harry so close to him. Was it real? Draco couldn't trust his memory anymore. There were so many gaps in his mind. His hands trembled a little. He felt suddenly very confused and angry with himself. It was frustrating not to remember his past. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked Blaise; after all, the Slytherin seemed to know a lot about that time in his life that he couldn't remember.

"Listen, Draco, this is all a lie! The old you would have never joined Voldemort in the first place! You would have…"

A big explosion interrupted their conversation. They instantly looked around to see what had happened. Draco cursed under his breath as a Muggle house burst into flames. A big man was kneeling on the floor, pleading for mercy, and a horse-faced woman was holding a fat boy tightly. Draco felt a pang in his heart, but he kept his emotions hidden. That battle inside his heart was driving him insane. He wasn't supposed to care, and yet he did. The truth was that he didn't want to be there, killing and torturing people. He liked power, but for the first time he was beginning to understand the price he would have to pay to be so powerful. He wouldn't deny that he liked toying with people. But not like that. Such cruelty wasn't his thing.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do anymore. This vulnerability in his heart was new to him. He didn't even realise it, but the name that escaped from his lips as he watched the house burn was Harry's. Draco's heart was calling out for him, but his mind couldn't understand why he was feeling this way.

_"Draco, watch out!" _shouted a voice coming from somewhere behind him.

Draco opened his eyes wide as he turned around and saw Pettigrew sneaking behind him with his wand pointed at him. The rat bastard had always wanted a chance to finish him off and Draco had just given him the opportunity. By Pettigrew's victorious look, the blond figured that the rat had seen him saving the child and now was taking delight in it. Now Pettigrew had a reason to kill Draco; after all, Lord Voldemort would never forgive him for letting a Muggle child escape.

"Now, now, Malfoy," Pettigrew said, grinning madly. "I knew that sooner or later you'd show your true face. And you too, Zabini. You're both traitors! I told Lord Voldemort he shouldn't have trusted you two. I was right!"

Draco smirked, and he and Blaise aimed their wands at Pettigrew. "I guess this is it, Zabini. The rat caught us in the act. We're so doomed," Draco sneered.

Blaise suppressed his laughter. "Yeah. We certainly are, Draco. I mean, the powerful and _almighty_ Wormtail is about to take out all of his rage on us. How scary!" Blaise mocked.

Pettigrew's face went red from anger. "Don't think I can't take you both down!"

Draco faced him seriously this time. "I would like to see you try."

There was a short period of silence where everything stood still. Pettigrew looked at Draco, then at Blaise, and then back at Draco. A drop of sweat rolled down his face. He gripped his wand firmly, but that only made it more evident that his hands were shaking. And then Pettigrew felt a pain in his back as a spell hit him from behind. His expression was of total surprise a moment before he hit the ground.

Draco raised an eyebrow and looked at Blaise questioningly. Blaise just shrugged.

"I was about to hit him, Zabini," Draco complained, his Master mode coming back in place. "I don't want you to fight my battles for me!"

"I didn't!" Blaise assured him defensively. "That blast didn't come from me. Didn't you notice? It came from behind Wormtail! Neither of us could have hit him."

Draco looked around. Apart from a few Death Eaters enjoying themselves across the street by torturing the owners of the burned house, there was no one there. Draco kept his wand ready. An invisible enemy was the most dangerous. Blaise gasped beside him and pointed at something hidden in the middle of a Muggle garden. Draco was amazed by the vision of the winged black horse with a skeletal body and dragonish face.

"What are those?" Blaise asked, stupefied.

"Thestrals," Draco answered. He had read about them in books, but he had never seen one. The creature was even more stunning than he had imagined. "Why is it here? We don't use thestrals!"

"He brought me here," said someone in front of Draco. Draco took a step back instinctively and opened up his eyes widely as the invisible person threw away his cloak and stared at him with flaming green eyes. The young man looked at Pettigrew with a snort. "That felt really good. Sweet dreams, stupid rat."

Draco's heart pounded hard in his chest as he came face to face with Harry Potter. His body reacted in an unexpected way. Potter was taller than Draco could remember and definitely more interesting. Draco had never expected to feel so flustered and excited at the mere sight of his enemy. He told himself it was because he had always dreamed of fighting Potter without anyone else to interrupt them. But he knew he was lying to himself. He was excited because of the dream.

"I told you I would come for you," Harry said resolutely as he stared at Draco again.

Draco opened his eyes widely. So Potter did know about the dream. Somehow the bastard had found a way to sneak into Draco's dream. Potter should have also found a way to bewitch Draco so the blond would only think of him. Draco felt his blood boiling at the thought, and he shouted a curse at Harry reflexively, but Harry defended himself easily and disarmed Draco. With Draco's wand in his hands, Harry grinned playfully. "I'm still more powerful than you."

Draco groaned. "Give me back my wand, Potter! Let's battle like gentlemen, shall we? You are not the kind of man that would attack an unarmed person, are you?" Draco sneered.

"Oh, but you don't need your wand, right? You can do wandless magic," Harry pointed out.

Draco felt his blood pressure rising and he hissed, "Alright, Potter. You asked for this!" He began shouting the _Cruciatus_ curse, but as he opened his mouth to speak, he found himself voiceless.

Harry sniggered as Draco shot him a murderous look. "Cool spell, huh? I learned it from Erin. It makes the person voiceless. But don't worry. It won't last too long."

Draco felt like going for Harry's throat. _'You bastard, son of a bitch!__ When this spell is off, I'll kill you!' _Draco thought, fuming.

"See, Draco? You're not the only one who knows wandless magic. And I've just found out recently that I don't even have to say the spell aloud! I just need to think about it and want it to work." Draco frowned and Harry went on, "Yeah, I was stunned myself. But I'm more stunned with the fact that you would actually want to hit me with _Cruciatus_," Harry said, his eyes glimmering with hurt. Draco's heart ached in reflex. Draco couldn't understand why seeing Harry hurt touched him so much.

"Are you finally going to take him away, Potter?" Blaise asked.

Harry looked at Blaise and nodded. Draco felt outraged. Zabini _was_ a traitor after all. Draco tried to voice his anger, but he was unable to. He clenched his fists and teeth and sighed in frustration.

"Did you find a cure?" Harry asked Blaise.

"No. I'm truly sorry."

Harry sighed. "You can still find it."

Blaise shook his head immediately. "Now that you're here to take Draco, I won't go back to that place."

Draco couldn't believe they were talking about him as if he wasn't there. Unfortunately, he couldn't say anything yet. His voice was still gone. Feeling Draco's agitation, Harry turned to calm him down and explain the situation better, but a tormented shriek interrupted him. He turned around and looked across the street. He opened his eyes widely as he noticed that the house burning was the Dursleys', and that a group of Death Eaters were having fun with his Uncle and his cousin. Dudley and Uncle Vernon were floating in the air upside-down, and Aunt Petunia was screaming for help. Harry felt ashamed to admit that a tiny part of him was overjoyed by the scene. Hadn't he wished to see that house burned and gone forever? Hadn't he prayed for the Dursleys to get some punishment for treating him so horribly for so many years?

But the right thing to do was to put aside his feelings and help them.

"I'll be right back," he told Draco.

He crossed the street quickly, forgetting that he had planned not to be seen, and he pointed his wand at one of the Death Eaters, stunning him with a spell. The others looked at him surprised. Uncle Vernon and his son fell to the ground, completely forgotten.

"It's Potter!" one of the Death Eaters shouted.

"Our Lord will be so pleased if we just bring his head!" said another.

"You can't kill me!" Harry shouted. "If you do, then you'll be killing Voldemort, too."

The Death Eaters looked at each other confusedly and then the tallest of them said, "I don't believe you." The man shot an Unforgivable curse in Harry's direction, but Harry deflected it. Harry looked around, trying to come up with a strategy fast. There were five Death Eaters circling him. Erin had taught him to defend himself when being surrounded by the enemy, but Harry was still a beginner. He didn't know if he could hit them all and escape safely.

Fortunately for him, two Death Eaters behind him were stunned by Blaise. He smiled at the remaining masked men and blasted them with such a powerful attack that the light could be seen a block away.

"Thanks, Zabini," Harry said, panting.

Blaise only stared at him. "What the hell was that? I've only seen such a strong attack performed by very experienced wizards. How did you…?"

"No time to talk now," Harry said as he spotted three more Death Eaters on their way over.

Uncle Vernon came crawling near Harry and grabbed Harry's trousers. "Please, save us!" the big rounded man cried out. "Save our house! Weren't we good to you? We took you in! We gave you a home! Please, save my family!"

Harry looked at him with a mix of disgust and pity. The Death Eaters were so near now. He took a deep breath and then pointed his wand at the Dursleys. Vernon, Petunia and Dudley cried out, thinking that Harry would kill them. But all Harry did was create a shield around them so they would be protected for a while. He had learned that from the Order. As he had flown above Little Whinging, he had seen many shields like that protecting Muggle houses. Unfortunately, the Order hadn't had time to cast defensive spells around them all.

"You're safe now. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about the house..." Harry said, taking Blaise by the arm and running towards Draco.

Draco was still too stunned to react properly. He knew he should have run away, but he was a Malfoy. Malfoys didn't run from battles. Besides, he couldn't take his eyes off Potter. His heart had almost stopped at the sight of Potter being in trouble. The mixed-up emotions were making him very confused and paralysed.

"Zabini, watch Draco for me," Harry asked. "I need to find Dumbledore."

Blaise smirked. "Watching Draco for you is all I've been doing, Potter…"

Harry scowled, but didn't reply. He didn't have time to argue with Zabini. There would be plenty of time for that later. "Just don't let him escape. And please, protect him."

Draco clenched his fists angrily. How dare they talk about him as if he weren't there? He wanted to say that he could take care of himself perfectly fine, after all, he wasn't a damsel in distress, but he was still voiceless. He made a mental note to get back at Potter as soon as his voice was recovered. He gripped Harry's arms firmly, and for a moment all things stood still as their eyes locked. Harry stroked Draco's cheek softly and Draco instantly let go of him.

Draco didn't have time to analyse the meaning behind that tender touch, because Potter cast a shield around him and Blaise and then vanished under his Invisibility cloak and into the night. Draco sighed, almost dejectedly. He couldn't believe he was in such a horrible situation. He couldn't go anywhere, at least not until his voice came back. He also couldn't believe that Potter was _protecting_ him. Why was that happening to him? He didn't know anything about his life anymore. Nothing made sense. Harry Potter should be trying to kill him, not helping him. Draco was supposed to be cursing and jinxing the Boy-Who-Lived pretty badly. But the blond couldn't do it, just like he knew that he wouldn't have finished shouting the _Cruciatus_ curse before. If Potter hadn't cast his spell on Draco, he would have known that.

The question was why. Why did Draco care about Potter? He leaned against the wall of the house where he and Blaise were hidden in and then sighed. He wouldn't try to break free from the shield. He would wait for Potter to return. It seemed as if Potter could be the key to a lot of things that were missing in his memory.

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It was chaos. The number of Death Eaters had surpassed the Order's expectations. Their roughness was beyond the Order's control. James looked around, helpless. Sirius was the only one that could help him, but he was nowhere to be found. James was still trying to understand how he had stuck himself in the situation he was in. One Death Eater was holding his arms tightly behind his back and muttering obscenities in his ear. The other two had taken off their silver masks to look and mock at him properly. The three of them were rejoicing in having laid their hands on James Potter. James would be their passport to a higher post, not to mention that Lord Voldemort would be thrilled to have James Potter as a prisoner.

James gulped as he felt a wand poking his chest, and then he stared, with loathe in his eyes, at the man who had turned him in.

"Didn't I tell you, Antonin, that I would give our Lord a very nice gift?" asked a fourth man with the hoarse voice that had melted James' senses not so long ago. The three Death Eaters turned their eyes to the tall, dark figure of Lucius Malfoy.

Antonin Dolohov smiled, pleased. "Malfoy! I'm really surprised to see you here. Our Lord placed a very high price over your head. Did you finally come to your senses and decide to come back to the winning side? I confess I wasn't expecting this. But then again, you are such a devil!"

Lucius sneered. "But of course. Did you really think I would join the Order willingly? Here is my proof that I have been very faithful to our Lord. I brought you James Potter, didn't I? He fell under my trap very easily." Lucius smirked at James, and the brunette felt a pang in his heart.

For Lucius to double-cross him like this had been the last thing James had expected. He had been so happy to see Lucius unharmed in the middle of the chaos. But his happiness had faded away when he'd heard Lucius selling information about the Order to Antonin Dolohov, a well-known Death Eater. James had been stupid enough to confront Lucius. Lucius had been surprised to see James at first, but then his blue eyes had darkened and Lucius had stared at James coldly. James had been so taken aback by that sudden hostility that he had let his guard down. The next thing he knew, Lucius had disarmed him and had ordered Antonin's men to take him prisoner.

James had surrendered without putting up a fight, because he was too overwhelmed by hurt and betrayal to react properly. His heart was shattered. He had trusted Lucius against all of his fears and better judgement. He had given his heart to that heartless man. It was hard to believe that Lucius had betrayed him like that. James refused to believe that this was the same Lucius that had made love to him so tenderly, and had told him so many personal things about himself. He hoped that Lucius was only acting, but he couldn't tell at all. Lucius' face was unreadable and his look was icy and sharp. That was a man to be feared, but James just wanted to spit on Lucius' face and kick him hard on the balls. James hated that cold act. He hated the way Lucius was staring at him, as if James meant nothing to him.

"We should have a little fun with him before handing him to our Lord," suggested the one who was gripping James' wrists behind his back. The spiteful man licked James' left ear, making the others laugh and James shiver from disgust.

"That's something to think about." Dolohov got near James and stroked his face with his gloved hands. James spit on him and was slapped hard on the face. "The little bitch is quite snarky!" Dolohov mocked. "What do you think, Malfoy? Should we enjoy him a little? Or a lot?" More laughing. James held his chin high and sent them a murderous look. He would rather be dead before letting those men touch him.

James' eyes met Lucius, desperately trying to understand what game Lucius was playing at.

"I think," Lucius said, walking towards James and stopping in front of him, "that we could have some fun with him." The back of Lucius' hand touched James' cheek slightly and the brunette shivered, but not from disgust. James hated himself for reacting to Lucius' touch in such a shameful way.

"You can try," James snarled.

"I certainly will," Lucius replied with a sneer.

One of Lucius' hands slid down to stroke James' waist and opened his cloak. James' breath got caught in his throat. Lucius brought James closer and their bodies aligned. The blond ordered the man holding James' wrists to release them. The man looked at Dolohov as if waiting for permission to obey, and when Dolohov nodded his head, he let go of James.

James instantly began to fight against Lucius and tried to break free, but Lucius kept his grip firm.

_"Be quiet,"_ Lucius muttered in his ear. James bit Lucius' hand, making the blond shout in pain. _"Just stop it and do as I tell you. __James…"_ The last word was whispered in such a way that made James stop trying to pull away. James' body stayed still, waiting for Lucius' next move. The brunette's heart leaped in expectation. He felt something being shoved in one of his pockets and he frowned. "It's a fog bomb," he heard Lucius' whispered voice again and he shivered. "When I release you, just throw it on the ground and scram. Don't struggle. Just trust me. Dolohov is strong. Do not try to attack us. Just scram."

James' confusion only increased. Perhaps Lucius was spying for Voldemort, but had true feelings for James. Or perhaps it was something else altogether. Perhaps Lucius was trying to gain Voldemort's trust again because of Draco. James' heart beat faster as he suddenly realised what this was all about. It was all because of _Draco_. It had to be. Lucius was just trying to find a way to bring his son back, and James' sudden appearance had almost ruined everything. In order to gain information about Draco, Lucius had to play along with the Death Eaters. Lucius couldn't blow his cover. And if there was something Lucius was very good at, it was pretending, so it shouldn't have been such a shock to see his cold façade. But it was. Lucius had allowed James to know a side of him that no one else did, and the old Lucius Malfoy had confused him.

But now James had finally understood, or so he hoped. He brushed his hand on Lucius' and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Hit me as hard as you can," Lucius muttered one last time, before letting go of James.

It all happened very fast. James punched Lucius in the face and threw the fog bomb on the ground. A thick mist obscured the Death Eaters' view and allowed James to escape. Although he hated to play the coward, he knew that his presence would be a nuisance. Lucius was playing a role out there. James would have gotten in the way by staying.

He bumped something on the street and almost fell. An invisible entity suddenly grabbed him with what felt like arms, fiercely, and then surprisingly pulled him into a hug. It took James a moment to realise what had just happened as he felt the soft texture of his old cloak and pushed it to the floor to reveal the person underneath.

"Harry!" James hugged his son tightly. He should have known that Harry wouldn't just sit around and wait. Harry was his son after all. "Didn't I _tell_ you to stay out of this?" James asked, sounding very upset.

"You can ground me later," Harry said, pushing his father to the side and hitting a Death Eater that was behind James. The man fell, but another one came running towards them. Harry hit him also. "I think we need to get out of here now." James looked at his son in awe, as if he was seeing him for the first time.

Father and son ran to hide behind the walls of the nearest house.

"Where's your wand?" Harry asked as they waited for their breaths to normalize.

"Somebody took it…" James said bitterly. "Harry, you shouldn't be here!"

"I know, but I was meant to be here. I had this vision. Draco was in danger and so was the Order. I had to warn Dumbledore about it. But I guess I'm too late. I don't know where Dumbledore is. Actually, I can't believe I've found _you_. I met Draco, though! He's only a few houses away. I want to take off with him, but I need to find Dumbledore first," Harry said hastily. James noticed that Harry seemed very flustered and hyper.

"You should have taken off with Draco. Just tell me what you saw, and I'll tell Dumbledore about it."

"I saw the Order losing pretty badly. I saw Wormtail trying to kill Draco."

James felt his blood boiling. "That rat bastard! Where is he?"

"He's with Draco and Zabini. I stunned him. I should have killed him, but…"

James placed his hands on Harry's shoulders. "Don't say that. You're not a murderer."

"Yeah, but we are losing because of that! The Order doesn't want to kill anyone, unless it's a last resort. But look around! The Death Eaters are winning because they don't care if they kill us!" Harry shouted angrily.

"That's right!" exclaimed someone behind them. "And now I'm going to kill you!"

Harry quickly turned around and deflected the curse that was aimed towards them just a few seconds before it hit them. Harry then blasted the Death Eater with a powerful stunning spell, giving no chance to the other no chance man to defend himself. James was now more astonished than ever.

"Where did you learn to cast _that_?" James asked, flabbergasted.

Harry just shrugged. "Erin. She used to be an Auror."

"Is she allowed to teach you such advanced magic?"

"Yes," Harry answered uncomfortably.

"This is really serious, Harry! This sort of spell drains a lot of energy from you." James put the back of his hand on Harry's forehead. "For Merlin! You're burning! How many times have you used that spell?"

"I dunno." Harry wavered. "What does it matter? We need to warn Dumbledore. I think…"

A sudden bright light flashed in the sky and conjured a skull. It was the Dark Mark. Harry and James looked at the street and saw the Death Eaters Disapparating one by one. James didn't like that at all. He couldn't understand why they were leaving.

Most of the Order members appeared in the middle of the street and looked at each other inquisitively. James heard the sound of Apparating a few meters away, and dark figures appeared. James paled as the moonlight illuminated them. They weren't human, but a very bad copy of what a human should look like. These creatures had empty bloodshot eyes and decomposing skins. Their mouths hung open in a repulsive way.

"Now what?" James asked himself.

Harry gripped his wand and smirked. "That was what I was afraid of. Zombies..."

"I'll take it from here," said someone popping up by their side.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry shouted, relieved. The presence of the Headmaster seemed to have the same effect on the rest of the Order members.

"Harry! Why am I not surprised to see you here?" Dumbledore looked tired and sombre. "And I see that you look worn-out and flustered. My dear boy, you've used too much energy already. It's time to go, Harry. You came here for Draco, didn't you?"

Harry nodded, but then shook his head. "Actually, I came here because I thought the Order was losing and I wanted to let you know. I had this vision… And I saw Draco in it, too. So I just had to come. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I was actually expecting you…"

Dumbledore's voice was cut off by the horrifying moaning of the zombies coming closer. He turned to Harry seriously and said, "I can assure you that we are not going to lose. I'll personally take care of all these creatures. But you must go, Harry. Your magical level is dangerously low. I don't want you to take any more chances. You must go back to the castle immediately and go straight to Madam Pomfrey. You've accomplished your mission. Don't worry about us anymore."

"But sir…"

"Let's go, Harry," James said, pulling Harry away and letting others take their place. Harry still tried to struggle, but Dumbledore was right about one thing. Harry's body could barely stand on its own. He had cast too many difficult spells in less than an hour. He was feeling exhausted.

The Order lined up horizontally, and at Dumbledore's command, they began to attack the zombies. Harry wanted to stay and fight too, but James kept dragging him away. Harry only began to move on his own when James reminded him of Draco. Harry then gathered all the strength he had left and ran as fast as he could. There was a chance that the spell he had cast to protect Draco had already been broken, and Draco might not be in Little Whinging anymore. Harry couldn't even think about that. He had finally gotten reunited with Draco. He wouldn't let Draco escape from him.

He forgot about everything else to focus on Draco, even his tiredness. He turned the corner of the house where he had left Draco and Zabini and his heart almost came out of his mouth as he spotted Draco lying on the ground unconscious.

"What happened?" he asked Blaise, pushing the Slytherin aside and taking his place next to Draco. _"What did you do to him?"_ Harry hissed.

"I haven't done anything!" Blaise shouted, upset. "It all happened really fast. That bloody rat summoned this horrible creature… I don't even know what the hell that was! Lucky for us the Thestral protected us. But Wormtail managed to hit Draco with a spell before he took off."

"What?" Harry's face became white as a sheet, immediately thinking he was to blame. He would never forgive himself. He quickly checked for Draco's pulse but couldn't feel anything.

"He didn't hit Draco with the killing curse," Blaise assured him hastily.

Harry took Blaise by the collar and threatened him. "Why the hell didn't you protect him?"

"It was _you_ who took away his ability to speak, Potter! Draco would have defended himself if it wasn't for that!" Blaise counter attacked. Harry punched him with all his might. Blaise was right, but Harry's fury was making him unable to think clearly. It was his fault and his anger vented out – unfortunately for Blaise he was the closest one available.

"Harry! Stop!" James shouted, getting in the middle of the boys. "It's nobody's fault!"

"He was just unlucky, Potter. Wormtail wasn't even aiming at him."

"What exactly happened here?" James asked.

"Wormtail woke up from the stunning spell Potter cast on him and then summoned some odd creature to get me and Draco," Blaise began to explain, watching out for Harry. He didn't want to get punched again. "Potter's shield went off right at that instant, and the creature began to run towards us, but the thestral attacked the creature and Wormtail. The rat bastard tried to take the thestral down, but all he managed to do was get the other creature more pissed off. The creature turned against Wormtail, who cast a very strong stunning spell by reflex. And the spell hit Draco. Like I said, Draco was just unlucky… But I think he's fine. He isn't dead, Potter. He needs a Healer, though."

"Where's Wormtail?" James asked.

"He took off," Blaise said bitterly. "I couldn't do anything to stop him."

"And the creature?"

Blaise pointed at something lying a few meters away from them. "It's dead. The thestral killed it."

The thestral stood proudly beside the creature, but it looked so peaceful that Harry found it hard to imagine that not so long ago this winged-horse had battled some strange creature and won.

James asked for Harry's wand and walked towards the dead creature carefully. He made a face at the sickening vision. He couldn't tell what it was either. From what he could see, the creature had sharp teeth, long and sharp nails and a hairy body that reminded him of a werewolf. But it wasn't a werewolf. The skin was putrid, the globes of its eyes were totally white and his stomach was bleeding profusely. But the thing that astonished James the most was that _it_ moved.

James put a great distance between them as the creature blinked and then stood up. A thread of blood mixed with saliva slid down the creature's chin. Now that it was standing, it seemed a lot scarier, and definitely bigger than James. It did look like a werewolf, but not the regular type. This was another breed. Werewolves were scary, but not that much.

The creature sniffed the air and roared threateningly. Then it ran towards James to attack him, but Harry quickly cast a shield to protect them from the creature's blow. The enraged creature kept trying to break into the shield with his paws. Even though Harry was exhausted and terrified, he managed to focus on keeping the shield up.

James had never felt so useless in his entire life. _He_ should be the one protecting Harry, not the other way around. He could only attack the creature if Harry turned the shield off, but since he didn't know exactly what kind of spell could pull it down, he couldn't risk their safety. He was about to tell Harry to disable the shield and run away with Blaise and Draco when the thestral attacked the creature again.

Harry, Blaise and James watched, with a mix of horror and fascination, the battle between the creatures. James couldn't believe their strength. Although the other creature was very wounded and looked as if it was dead, it kept striking the thestral with all its might.

"Oh, fuck," Blaise muttered.

"What?" Harry asked.

"It's the Dark Lord's new creation. It's a zombie werewolf. How did I not notice before?"

James frowned. He wasn't surprised that Voldemort's sick mind had created such a horrible being. James turned to Blaise and asked, "How do we kill it?"

"That's the trick part," Blaise smiled bitterly. "Like the zombies, this thing is technically dead already. So we can't exactly kill it."

"There must be a spell to stop it!" James exclaimed incredulously. "Zombies can be put down, right?"

"Yes, but we would need a gun," Harry said, remembering Draco's explanation from the time they had been set up and surrounded by zombies. "We have to shoot them in the head with a silver bullet."

"You don't need a silver bullet to shoot ordinary zombies," said someone coming out of the darkness unexpectedly and standing beside them. "But to kill a _zombie_ werewolf... Well, that's another story." The hooded person raised his hand and pointed a golden ivory pistol at the zombie werewolf.

Noticing the smell of new flesh in the air, the creature turned to attack the mysterious person, growling horribly as it made its way towards the hooded man. A shot echoed, and the creature fell to the ground, unmoving. Another shot was heard, this time aimed at the thestral. Harry, James and Blaise opened their eyes wide as they watched the thestral fall.

Harry's shield went off and he collapsed beside Draco, worn-out and shocked. The thestral was dead. Hagrid would never forgive him.

"Show yourself!" James shouted, aiming Harry's wand at the hooded person.

The hood fell off the person's face and James' heart stopped beating.

"Are you going to hit me, Potter?" asked the person with a sneer. "I've just saved your lives in case you haven't noticed. I was expecting a little more appreciation."

"Lucius!" James' mouth hung open. Once again, James didn't know whether he could trust Lucius or not. He wanted to ask why Lucius had killed the thestral as well, but Harry beat him to it.

"You heartless bastard!" Harry shouted with the little energy he had left. Harry's eyes were blood-shoot and tearful. "Why did you have to kill the thestral? He was defending us!"

Lucius put another bullet in his pistol and then he said, "You obviously don't know much about zombies, do you? Well, I know a few things…" Lucius sneered. "After all, my father was responsible for _designing_ them. There's one basic thing about zombies that you should _always_ keep in mind. Once they bite or even scratch someone, the bitten person will soon turn into a zombie." Lucius looked at the zombie werewolf and continued, "Clearly, not only humans can be infected with zombie blood, but other creatures as well. I had to shoot the thestral. I couldn't risk our safety. He could have been infected too. Would you want to face a zombie thestral? I certainly wouldn't."

His explanation made sense to James, but the cold way Lucius explained things made him shiver. James told himself not to think badly of Lucius just because he wasn't used to the blonde's coldness anymore, but it was hard not to. James wanted to punch Lucius again for having no consideration for Harry's suffering and shock. Harry was still a child caught in a war. They couldn't expect him not to breakdown eventually.

"You're really scary, Lucius," James muttered.

For only a second, James was able to see in Lucius' eyes the turmoil his lover was going through. He was relieved to know that Lucius wasn't so immune to their suffering. But that thread of emotion came and went, and Lucius went back to his expressionless face. Lucius just shrugged and walked towards Draco, handing James his pistol on the way.

The pistol felt heavy in James' hands. He had handled Muggle weapons before, but he had never been fond of them. This one was particularly old. It was a 1760 Flintlock Pistol. The Malfoys were well-known for hating everything Muggle, but possessing quite a collection of Muggle items, especially weapons.

Did Lucius expect him to use it? James looked at Lucius, who was now carrying Draco in his arms.

"What are you waiting for?" Lucius asked, frowning. "Let's go."

"Go where?" Harry asked moodily. "You killed our transportation. I still have my broom, but obviously it isn't enough for all of us!"

"My car is parked near here," Lucius said, striding away.

"Wait! What about the Order? Dumbledore and the others don't have guns! How will they kill the zombies?" Harry asked.

Lucius stopped, annoyed. "This isn't my problem. Dumbledore was stupid enough to think that those idiots from the Order could fight this battle. He should be the one to face the consequences."

"Lucius! I can't believe you just said that!" James felt nauseous. Lucius' actions that night were too shocking. James knew he shouldn't expect anything different. He had told himself that many times. But he still hoped that Lucius' aloofness was only a defence created by the horrible circumstances they were facing. He had to believe that or else his relationship with Lucius would be doomed. "Take the kids to Hogwarts. I'll stay and help the others. I'll keep your pistol, if you don't mind. Do you have any more bullets?"

"Dad! If you stay, then I'm staying too!" Harry said immediately.

"No, Harry. You can barely stand! Go with Lucius and take care of Draco."

"But…"

"You must be joking!" Lucius said, his face finally showing a flicker of emotion. Lucius had faced too many fears that night. His cold facade was still up, but in reality he was ready to break down. He had wanted to kill Dolohov and his men for having the audacity to touch James. He wouldn't allow James to stay in that chaos.

James stared at him. "I won't abandon my friends. I have a pistol now."

"You won't have enough bullets to kill them all! Don't be stupid, James!"

"Dumbledore is counting on us."

"Dumbledore is an old fool!"

They heard screams coming from the streets.

"Come with us!" Lucius ordered.

James smiled sadly. "I can't."

Lucius looked positively anxious now. "What's more important to you: the Order or your son?"

That was a low punch. James flinched. Harry was more important, but he couldn't abandon his friends. Sirius was still out there. Harry looked at him with pleading eyes and James felt tempted to go with them. Dumbledore would understand.

They heard an explosion. They had to close their eyes for a moment as an intense blue light surrounded everything and then vanished as quickly as it had appeared. They stared at each other, dumbfounded. James gave the wand back to Harry but told him to wait as he went to check on the situation.

He walked to the middle of the street where Muggle families in their pyjamas stood side by side with wizards and witches. All of them looked as confused as James. Someone touched James' shoulder, making him jump and turn around quickly with the pistol in hand. Sirius raised his arms and smiled feebly at his old friend.

"Hey, mate, be careful with that! Where did you get it by the way? It's beautiful!"

James lowered the pistol and breathed in relief. He was very glad to see Sirius. "It belongs to…" He looked around, not sure if he should say Lucius' name aloud. "It belongs to a friend. What happened here? Where are the zombies?"

"It was Dumbledore," said a wizard beside them with a gloomy expression. "He vanquished the zombies, but he disappeared as well. We don't know where he is…"

At that exact moment there was a loud _bang_ a few meters away and the tall figure of the Headmaster appeared. There was a brief period of silence, followed by shouts of joy. Most of the Order members ran towards Dumbledore, who smiled and greeted them. James and Sirius exchanged a worried look as they saw Dumbledore wavering. The Headmaster had used a great deal of magic and he looked drained, but being the leader that he was, he was holding himself together.

As the Order celebrated their survival, Dumbledore told them that even though Voldemort hadn't succeeded in using the zombies against them, it didn't mean it was over. They still had a lot of work to do, and wounded friends to take care of. He separated a group to stay and try to minimize the damage in Little Whinging. Another team was put together to wipe the Muggles' memories away and make sure that no one else connected these events to the wizarding world. There was indeed a lot of work ahead.

Harry appeared at James' side, took his hand and squeezed it. "Can we go now?"

"Harry!" Sirius exclaimed, hugging his godson tightly. "What did I tell you, James? Didn't I tell you Harry wouldn't just sit around and wait?

James smiled at Sirius and then at Harry. "Yeah, you did tell me. He will be grounded for that."

Harry didn't argue. The thestral's death was still plaguing his mind. It was also because of him that Draco was hurt. The guilt was killing him and he was shattered. He didn't have any energy left. With the corner of his eyes he watched Aunt Petunia poke Uncle Vernon and point at James with a horrified expression. He looked at his father to see if he'd noticed the Dursleys, but James' eyes were somewhere else.

James had spotted Lucius hidden in the shadows. Lucius made a gesture with his head as if calling for James to come with him. Although James' heart was torn between love and hate, his love won his inner battle. Lucius had a lot of explaining to do, and James wouldn't rest until everything that had happened that night was clarified. Lucius wouldn't lay a finger on him until they'd discussed it all. But for now, James would go with him. With a sigh, he turned to Harry and said, "Let's go home, Harry."

The sun was rising when they finally reached Hogwarts.

TBC…

Review! Your opinion means a lot to me!


	19. The Day After

Disclaimer: I dreamed of being the creator of Harry Potter's world, but that's just wishful thinking. The genius behind Harry Potter is J. K. Rowlings.

A/N: Let's hear it for Jade, Dumbledore, Angela and Charisse (my new beta reader!) because they did a wonderful job helping me with this chapter. A huge thanks to ALL of you out there who waited so long for this chapter. The positive feedbacks I received recently made me fall in love with TMH again. I hope this new chapter keeps up to your expectations. So, have a good reading!

Chap. 19 – **The Day After**

"I just couldn't find it! What more do you want from me? I tried my best!" shouted Blaise.

"He fucking told you where to find the antidote of the controlling potion!" Harry roared back. "Draco saw it in his visions. How could you not find it?"

"I told you already! It wasn't there! Or do you really think Lord Voldemort would be stupid enough to have it lying around for everyone to see? They switch their meeting room all the time! They switch everything from one place to another. They're paranoid about their secrets. And I'm bloody sick of it all! I thought I could make a difference. It turns out I was wrong!" Blaise ranted on. "I don't want to go back there ever again, so just fuck off!"

Both boys breathed hard. Blaise could see Harry's eyes. They were filled with a deep, solemn sadness which aroused Blaise's pity in a way.

Blaise had come a long way, and he was both wounded and discouraged. He longed to take a long vacation away from the whirlwind of happenings in the wizarding world. Most of all, he missed Seamus. Their time apart had been a lot more difficult than he had thought. He had lost count of how many nights he had let his thoughts wander back to Seamus, even though he knew he shouldn't. He couldn't be a spy anymore. He realised it was too much, even for a person like him. He knew his decision would let a lot of people down – especially Draco – but his part was done.

Harry let his body slide to the floor where he sat with his hands in his head. He knew in his heart that the situation was none of Blaise's fault, and he couldn't blame the other boy for not finding Draco's cure.

Blaise had done a lot more than just take care of Draco. It was thanks to Blaise Zabini that the Order of the Phoenix had found the location of two concentration camps and was already making arrangements to free the prisoners. But Harry had been waiting a long time for a cure to Draco's illness, and he wasn't able to accept defeat.

Not again.

He was supposed to have the old Draco back by now, but they weren't even close. Everyone around advised that he be patient, while he was steeped in despair. His desperate hope was severely shaken, especially after the events of the previous night.

Harry raised his head, ready to begin another rant, but shut his mouth when he saw his father and Sirius. Their gloomy expressions didn't tell of good news. Harry was by their side in a second, his heart pounding.

"Is Draco...?" he began to ask nervously.

"Oh, don't worry," James cut in. "He's fine. He's just woken up. Lucius is with him now. They have a lot to talk about. And before you ask, Harry, everybody thinks it's best for you to avoid Draco for a few days. He seems to think he's a prisoner here." James turned to Blaise and said, "You should go to him after Lucius and he are done. He asked for you."

Harry flared up with jealousy. Blaise noticed the tension in Harry's neck muscles, and in spite of temptation, traded his usual smirk for a very serious expression. It wouldn't be wise to provoke Harry's anger at this stage, and would only make things worse between them.

"Before you go the Hospital Wing, though, we need to ask you a few things," James continued, still looking at Blaise.

Blaise stared at them, puzzled and distrustful. He knew he wouldn't escape the long detailed inquiry that he was sure the Order had prepared for him, but he didn't expect it to be so soon. He had talked to Dumbledore already and the old man had promised not to trouble him with questions until Blaise was ready for them. He was most certainly _not_ ready for them yet. Harry had stressed him out enough for a day.

"It's about Remus Lupin," James said, making Blaise shiver slightly. "You told Dumbledore that you helped him escape the Black Fortress, but that you didn't know what had happened to him. You also told Dumbledore that–"

"Alexis Lestrange is dead," Sirius said ahead of James.

"Yeah, so?" Blaise's body language was clearly defensive, but James didn't think Sirius would go easy on him.

If James let Sirius do the talking, he knew his friend would snap quickly and terrify the boy. James didn't want that to happen, so he began carefully, "We know you're tired, but Remus is our friend. We're very worried about him. We just want to know how long it would take for him to get here."

The piercing gazes of all three men disturbed him. There would be no answer satisfactory enough to please them. Blaise didn't think that it would take long for someone experienced in the art of Apparation to move from place to place. But he couldn't be sure that Professor Lupin had successfully found the exit of the secret passage. He didn't think that the tall guy with the murderous look would be pleased to hear that, so he tried to be diplomatic when he said, "Well, I think that... given the amount of stress and all... he might take a while to recover and then Apparate out of there. After the secret passage, you have to walk for a few minutes in order to be able to Disapparate out of there. I suppose... he's just resting before risking his body again."

"What happened in the passage? What went wrong?" asked Sirius, trying hard to suppress the urge to shake Blaise until he confessed everything he knew.

"Macnair followed and attacked us. A rock hit Alex in the head when he was trying to save Lupin. That was when Lupin lost it and killed Macnair..." Blaise paused as he heard Sirius, James and Harry gasp. The one who looked most disturbed by the information was Sirius. Blaise could understand that. For a person as kind as Professor Lupin, killing someone – even someone as deserving as Macnair – was unbelievable. Blaise was surprised that Lupin had lasted this long as a Death Eater. One look at him was enough to figure out that he was way too noble for a job like that."

"James..."

James could feel all the desperation in Sirius' voice. Blaise might have his assumptions about Remus' character, but Sirius and James _knew_ it very well. They knew how broken Remus must have felt after taking a life.

"Is there a way to look for him? Can we Apparate close to the passage?" James asked.

Blaise shook his head and Sirius grunted in frustration for he wasn't quite sure of Blaise's honesty. Blaise couldn't care less. He had had enough of those people coming after him as if he had all the answers. First it was Dumbledore, then Harry, and now _them_.

"How can you be so sure there isn't a way? Wasn't your staying there as spy a means to find the location of the Black Fortress?" Sirius questioned distrustfully.

"My staying there!" Blaise exclaimed, outraged. As far as he was concerned, he owed nothing to these people. The only one he was supposed to report to was Dumbledore. "My priority was to keep Draco from doing something he would regret later. I don't know the location to the Black Fortress!"

"How is that possible? You were there!" Sirius pointed out.

"Only a few know the way. The curious fact about the Black Fortress is that its whereabouts are a total mystery for most of the Death Eaters. We can Disapparate easily after walking a few miles. But you cannot Apparate back," Blaise explained. "Only a few are authorised to do it. Once you're there, it's like being away from civilisation. You lose track of time and space. The only thing I know about it is that it's close to the sea and built next to a deep cliff. That's all I know."

"Then how do you get back when you are out?" Harry asked.

Blaise sighed. "We call them guides. We always get out in large groups and two or three guides come along to help us get back afterwards. They are the only ones who know how to break Voldemort's strong protection spell. There's a password, but I don't know what it is." Blaise felt Sirius' eyes on him, evaluating his words as if searching for some secret behind them. Blaise grunted, upset. "Look, I'm telling the truth! I swear I don't know how to get to the Black Fortress. If I knew I would tell. Isn't it enough that I already told the Headmaster how to reach the MCCs? Why won't you people give me a break?" he complained.

While Sirius and Harry didn't seem very sympathetic to the boy, James stared at him with understanding eyes that made Blaise relax a little.

"What about Draco?" Sirius asked. "Does he know the password?"

Blaise bit his lower lip and looked away before he nodded.

"Draco won't tell," Harry said firmly, making Sirius frown.

"I don't think he will either," Blaise agreed. They both knew Draco's personality very well.

"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked Harry.

"As much as I hate to admit this, Draco is a _Death Eater_ now. He'll protect their secret. Unless..."

James and Sirius looked at Harry expectantly. "Unless?" They asked in unison.

"Unless I try breaking the controlling potion myself." There was a determination in Harry's voice that worried James.

"Forget it, Harry. Dumbledore already said no to the Daydream spell. It's too dangerous as it is. I won't allow it," James declared.

"But..."

"Care to explain this idea to me?" Sirius asked, puzzled. "Is this the same thing Malfoy tried with you, James?"

James didn't answer. Instead, he declared, "Forget about it, Sirius. And you too, Harry. You know you'll be risking your life _and_ his by trying it. We don't know how this controlling spell works exactly. So don't even think about it. As your father I forbid you from trying it."

"But I think I can do it," Harry said with pleading eyes. "I think I already did it once! I mean, I'm not sure if it was a dream or not, but... I'm almost convinced that it wasn't and..."

"No means no!" James stated, starting to be angry. "You aren't strong enough! You heard Madam Pomfrey. You should be resting today! Let's just wait a while. I'm sure Lucius will convince Draco of the truth and we won't have to resort to drastic measures like the Daydream spell. In the mean time, Sirius and I will find another way to search for Remus. Thanks for your help, Blaise."

James dragged away a very unsatisfied Sirius. Harry and Blaise stared at each other suspiciously.

"Were you telling the truth about Remus and the Black Fortress?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Yes, Potter, I was. I..." Blaise's expression softened a little. "I'm worried about Lupin too. I feel responsible for him. After all, I was the one who suggested the passage as a getaway in the first place. I didn't expect us to be followed."

Harry decided to believe him because Blaise seemed genuinely upset. "So the only way to find the Black Fortress is through Draco..." Harry said to himself. He sighed deeply. He hoped Remus was all right. Erin would be devastated when she heard about her brother's death. So many problems made Harry worried less about himself. At least he and Draco were now under the same roof. Even though Draco couldn't recognise Harry as his lover, Harry would find a way to bring his Draco back.

"What's this Daydream spell about?" Blaise asked curiously.

Harry stared at him. "Just a spell."

"Go to hell, Potter!" Blaise exclaimed, annoyed. "The only reason I'm asking is because Draco had a weird dream a little before Christmas and he ordered me to search for books about people invading one another's dreams. He wanted me to know if it was possible. So... is it?" Blaise asked.

Harry's heart almost stopped. Draco's request couldn't be just a coincidence. It surely meant that he and Harry were still connected through the Daydream spell. Harry was now convinced that it wasn't just a dream. He could almost kiss Blaise for that piece of information. No one would stop him from trying the spell again, not even James.

"Potter?" Blaise asked, wondering why he was being ignored.

Harry smiled mysteriously. "Just rest, Zabini. I need to think about a few things..."

Draco was sure that he was living in an alternate reality, because there was no way his father was telling him the truth. Lucius had sat down with him a little before he had awakened to explain to Draco how his son – a _Malfoy_ – had fallen in love with _Harry Potter_ and then risked losing his father's esteem for it. Lucius had told him how bold Draco had been for enduring hard times for Harry's sake, and how that love had warmed Lucius' hardened heart to the point that he himself had sought for a long lost love of his own.

It had been shocking enough to find out that Lucius Malfoy – his corrupted and heartless father – had joined the Order of the Phoenix to fight against Lord Voldemort. But to know that Lucius was actually _in love_ with someone was astonishing to say the least. It was even harder to understand that the gap in Draco's life was caused by a controlling potion that had made him lose his memory of everything he had lived and experienced with Harry Potter. The whole thing sounded rather fantastic and surreal.

Draco was feeling sick. He looked at Lucius as if begging for a better explanation. He expected Lucius to laugh at any moment and tell him that his tale was only a practical joke. But as he stared deeply into his father's eyes, Draco didn't recognise the serious man in front of him. Lucius still seemed cold and distant, but Draco could feel that something was different. The coldness wasn't reaching Lucius' eyes. His father was telling him the truth. Draco gulped and than sighed. His hands were shaking, but he tried not to show how disturbed he was.

"I don't get it," he said. "You aren't my father. You can't be."

Lucius' famous sneer appeared on his lips. "I _am_ your father, though not the father you knew before. And the irony of it all is that _you_ were the one who helped change the way I was, but now you don't even remember that."

"Tell me it's all a lie. Tell me you're joking about all this, and that you're only here to spy for Lord Voldemort! I heard someone say that you were trying to buy your way in again, that you were feeding our side with valuable information," Draco stated. That was something that made sense to him, not some elaborate fairy tale about his love for Harry Potter changing the course of his and his father's life. "I never believed you were a traitor. I always tried to convince Lord Voldemort of your innocence. I was sure there was a perfect explanation of why you joined the Order. I didn't doubt you or my mother for a moment."

James was one of Lucius' reasons for joining the Order in the first place. The other reason was to redeem himself in order to be a better father and human being. But Lucius wasn't so sure that Draco would understand those things. His son looked confused enough. Lucius considered lying to him and telling the things Draco wanted to hear. It would make things easier for both of them. It wasn't easy for Lucius to admit any of the things he had told Draco. Lying would make Draco believe and trust him. But it would also make them take several steps back. Not to mention that James – who was already very suspicious of him – would be very angry.

It was ironic. The whole situation would be funny if it weren't so tragic. Draco was behaving just as the old Lucius had expected him to. In the past, Lucius had dreamed of Draco falling into Voldemort's grace many times. He had anticipated the power and prestige that a marriage between Draco and Pansy would bring to his family. And even though deep down those things remained quite an attractive deal, Lucius had more important things to care about. He wouldn't trade his love for James or the happiness of his son for anything in the world. He was sure of those things now.

Lucius had faced his deepest fears when he had confronted the Death Eaters the previous night. He had put on his cold façade just so he could know about Draco, but had almost lost it when James was captured. Years of pretending had held him in check. He had hidden his true feelings so well that even James had fallen for his act.

But in spite of it all, Lucius knew he was changed, which was why it hurt to see Draco looking and acting like the perfect Malfoy.

"I don't love Harry Potter," said Draco disturbed. His outraged voice amused Lucius. If only his son knew how lovesick he really was for Harry. "It isn't even funny to suggest such a... a..." Draco couldn't even find the words. It was preposterous to be in love with a man, let alone _Harry Potter_, his enemy.

"No, it isn't funny at all," Lucius agreed with a sneer. "You don't want to know my reaction when I first found out."

Draco stared at him. "But now you seem ok with it."

Lucius moved around uncomfortably. "I didn't have a choice. The Potters are the kind of people that grow on you when you aren't paying attention."

Draco frowned. "_The Potters_?"

Lucius cursed his big mouth. It wasn't safe to talk about his feelings for James. One thing at a time. Draco was confused enough as it was. Besides, Draco was still under Voldemort's influence. Even though Lucius didn't think Draco would tell Voldemort about Lucius' love for James Potter, one could never be too careful.

"You haven't told me who you're in love with," Draco pointed out suspiciously.

"It isn't important anyway. What matters now is your safety and cure," Lucius stated, trying to change the subject. "You're to stay here from now on. Potter will want to talk to you. Are you sure you don't want to see him?"

Draco shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you. I can't believe any of this! I don't know who you are anymore. You're certainly not the father who raised me! Asking me such a thing! Of course I don't want to see Potter! Not unless you tell me to kidnap him and bring him to Lord Voldemort! This isn't happening! You filled my head with your ideals my entire life. I was to become a powerful and fearless Death Eater. But now you want me to hook up with Harry Potter as if it was the normal thing to do!" Draco was beside himself. "I don't understand you! I'm not sick! You are! You should have your head checked!"

"Watch your language when you speak to me, Draco!"

"Why should I? You're a complete stranger now." Draco walked towards the window and stared outside with his arms crossed. "Lord Voldemort warned me not to trust you. He was right. You were brainwashed or something. All you tell me are lies."

Lucius' lips curled. "You would trust Voldemort over your father?"

"My father would never have joined the Order," Draco said coldly. He was hurt because nothing he did was ever good enough for Lucius. He had turned out to be exactly what Lucius had wanted him to all his life, and now Lucius was denying everything.

"I wouldn't under normal circumstances," Lucius said. "But you convinced me otherwise."

Draco whirled around, wide-eyed. "_Me_? How could that be possible?"

Lucius moved over to stand next to his son. "Voldemort might have taken away your memory of recent events, but he can't take away your feelings, Draco. Look deep inside your heart and tell me if you really wanted to be a Death Eater. When I first took you to a meeting, you embarrassed me. Do you remember? It was the first time you tried to defy me. I think you already had Harry Potter on your mind when you did that."

Draco shook his head violently. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember any of this."

"Then go back to your first encounter with Potter! Try to remember everything you ever felt when he crossed your way. Was it only pure hate, Draco, or was it something else hidden inside of you? Something was growing inside you, wasn't it? It isn't possible that you don't have any recollection of your feelings. Your love for him is there somewhere! You just have to let it come out again!"

"NO! Stop it!" Draco shouted, disturbed. "Just stop it!" Draco heard a terrible buzzing in his ears, his head splitting in all directions at once. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. He felt he was about to lose his senses.

Lucius carried Draco to his bed. Draco could feel his father's concern and love in every gesture and it truly shocked him. The father he remembered never showed his true emotions. Could Lucius Malfoy really have turned?

Lucius was about to reach the door when Draco's voice made him turn around.

"Where are you going?" Draco asked.

"To call Madam Pomfrey."

Draco shook his head. "I don't need her."

"You don't look so good, Draco," Lucius said. "I'll be gone for a minute."

"I'm fine now. My head doesn't hurt anymore." Lucius didn't seem to believe him and Draco said, "You have changed. I don't remember ever seeing you so worried."

"I was very worried when you were hit by _Crucio_ in my place," Lucius remembered.

Draco opened his eyes wide. "I took the Cruciatus curseto save you?"

Lucius walked towards his bed and sat next to him. "Yes. That gesture of yours was the first step to melt the coldness in my heart," said he. "I dreamed of seeing you like this, Draco, looking like the perfect Malfoy, cold and proud of your achievements. But I don't wish for that kind of life for you anymore. I curse myself for letting this happen to you. I was still confused when you were poisoned with the control potion. I didn't think Voldemort would use you... I failed you. I don't wish to fail you again."

Draco felt deeply touched by his father's words. He had never expected Lucius to show him such a softer side. Draco was stunned. He stared at the ceiling. "Lord Voldemort wouldn't risk making me his toy just to get to Potter. I don't feel like a toy. I have a will of my own. I even thought of..." Draco shut his mouth immediately. Just because he and Lucius were sharing a father and son bond for the first time in his life, it didn't mean he could let himself get carried away. He knew better than that.

Lucius looked at him with a frown. "You thought of what?"

"Nothing," Draco muttered.

"Draco..."

"I said it was nothing!" Draco exclaimed, upset.

Lucius didn't quite believe him. He stared at his son suspiciously; he decided to let it pass.

"I want to see Zabini," said Draco.

"He isn't the only one who knows about your past, Draco."

Draco shrugged. "Still… He was with me the whole time in the Black Fortress. I doubted him countless times, but I never doubted his loyalty to me. Isn't it peculiar?"

Lucius didn't say anything. He took something out of his pocket and then tossed it to Draco. Draco caught the folded parchment in his hands with curiosity. "What is this?" he asked Lucius.

"The letter you wrote me just before you were taken away by Alexis Lestrange. And before you ask, this isn't a trick. I didn't forge this letter. You know I wouldn't bother," he said, reminding Draco of the old Lucius Malfoy. Lucius stood up to leave, but before he went, he stared at Draco for a long time until he said, "I understand your confusion. Just take your time. Nobody is rushing you. Potter won't show up here unless he's invited. Nobody is out to get you, Draco. I wasn't a good father to you in the past, but I'm willing to be a better one now."

Draco watched his father leave silently. When he was alone, he closed his eyes and gripped the letter in his hands forcefully. If he looked deeply inside his heart, he would realise that Lucius was right about his feelings for Harry. That erotic dream alone should be enough to convince him. But Draco couldn't admit to something so shameful. Harry Potter meant nothing to him and he would prove it to his father. With a sigh, he unfolded the letter and read it.

Madam Pomfrey didn't think she had ever worked so much in her life, not even in the first battle against Voldemort. Everyday she attended a different person's wounds, and each time her heart constricted with suffering. She had just taken care of Remus Lupin, and body wounds were nothing compared to his damaged state of mind. Remus was a wreck. She had healing potions for scratches and bruises, but it was quite hard to mend a broken soul. She closed the door behind her with a sad sigh and then got ready for Sirius and James impending arrival.

"Is he really here?" asked James.

"Is he ok?" questioned Sirius.

She smiled feebly at both of them. "He just needs a little rest."

"Can we see him?" Sirius asked eagerly. He had been dying to see Remus again. He couldn't wait to hold him. Madam Pomfrey's strange face made him frown. "What?"

"He doesn't want to see anyone at the moment, and I personally think it's for the best. He needs to sleep. A ruckus wouldn't do him any good," she explained.

"_A ruckus_?" Sirius made an outraged face. "Well, if you call us being worried sick about our dearest friend a ruckus…"

"He just needs to rest, Sirius. It's enough to know he's ok," James said, trying to appease his friend's anxiety.

Sirius sighed impatiently. "He might be ok, but I know him, James. He's suffering like hell. You know how guilty he must be feeling for taking someone's life. I feel that he needs us right now. He needs our comfort and–"

"He's my patient. I know very well what he needs, and right now he's in need of a good rest," said Madam Pomfrey resolutely. She didn't want to tell them that Remus had requested not to be disturbed by any of his friends. She was hoping that Remus would change his mind once he was rested. "Well, well, you can go now! Remus isn't going anywhere. Come back later."

Sirius didn't like that, but he followed James out all the same. He stared at his friend, who stared back at him with mistrust.

"Sirius… you heard the woman. Just give Remus some time alone. He's sleeping anyway."

Sirius made a face. "Well, yeah, but… What's the harm in looking at him, you know, just to make sure it's really him?"

James rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey knows who Remus is."

"He might be a Death Eater pretending to be Remus," Sirius said.

James smiled. "Aren't you overreacting? Dumbledore is being extra-careful of who enters Hogwarts. I'm sure it is Remus in that room. Just let him rest, Sirius. We can see him later."

Sirius didn't seem so pleased with that decision. He couldn't wait that long. He would explode if he didn't see Remus soon. He waited for James to go after Lucius before tiptoeing back to the Hospital Wing. He looked around in search for Madam Pomfrey and when he didn't find her, he opened the door to Remus' room carefully and entered. He found his friend lying on the bed with his eyes closed. Sirius walked towards it silently and stopped next to it. His heart almost stopped at the sight of Remus' bruised face.

Sirius felt like the lowest life form on the planet. It was his fault that Remus had gone on that suicide mission. If it weren't for Sirius' stupidity, Remus wouldn't be so hurt and broken. He wouldn't have witnessed his lover's death. He wouldn't have killed anyone.

Sirius' eyes filled with tears, and he wasn't able to hold back the urge to stroke Remus. His touch made Remus' eyes fly open and stare at him with fear.

"Remus?" Sirius called softly.

Remus sighed deeply. "Sirius…" he said with a throaty voice. "I didn't want to see anyone."

Sirius stroked Remus' hair softly. "But I really wanted to see you. What were you thinking, Remus?"

Remus looked away and gulped. "He's dead. Alex is dead," he said, almost crying.

"I know, Moony. I'm sorry..." Sirius muttered.

"It's all my fault."

Sirius frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Alex is dead because of me..."

The frown on Sirius' face grew. "Now, Remus, you can't really believe that. He chose his own fate. He was Voldemort's minion. What did you expect?"

Remus shook his head. "I'm cursed. Everybody near me ends up in a bad way."

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. "You don't know what you're talking about Remus."

"It's true!" Remus sat up in his bed and stared at Sirius with teary eyes. "My father told me this would happen. Once you are bitten by a werewolf, your life is doomed. I don't have the right to have friends. I shouldn't love anyone. Look at what happened to us! James had his life crushed. You spent thirteen years in prison! Peter became a traitor. Our lives were screwed up. And it's all my fault."

Sirius snorted. "You can't be serious! None of those things were your fault! You can't blame yourself for everything! I was arrested because I was stupid. I lost my head when I heard what had happened to James and Lily. I am to blame for my own mistakes, Remus."

"But if you hadn't become my friends... nothing would have happened..."

Sirius sat next to Remus and stared at him intently. "You're in shock. You have the right to be. You just went through a lot of stress." Sirius leaned forward to touch Remus, but his friend flinched. Even though that defensive gesture hurt Sirius' feelings, he cupped Remus' face in his hands and brought their foreheads together. "But don't think for a minute that anything that happened with me, James, Peter and Alex is your fault. I think it was stupid of you to go after Alex, but what's done is done. All that it's left for us to do is pick up the pieces and move on. That's what we've been doing all these years. We won't stop now. I'm sure Alex wanted you to live, Remus. He saved you, didn't he?" Remus nodded and Sirius smiled feebly at him. "See? He really loved you. Break down now, but come out of this stronger. I'm sure that's what Alex would have wanted for you."

Remus screwed his eyes tightly shut, but that didn't keep him from crying. Sirius brought him closer and made him lean his head on his shoulder. Remus didn't want to move on. He just wanted to shrink and die so that the pain in his existence would disappear. But somehow, Sirius' hug made him feel warmer, safer, like he was home for the first time in his life. It gave him the strength not to fall apart. He had missed Sirius. He had missed that bond they shared. He thought Sirius still hated him, but Remus couldn't feel any hate in Sirius' touch now, only tenderness. He held Sirius wishing that moment to linger. He felt a soft peck on his forehead, and then their eyes met.

"You don't hate me anymore, do you?" Remus asked in a whisper.

"Of course not! I never hated you, Moony. Ever," Sirius quickly denied.

"But you pushed me away. I didn't want it to happen. I never meant to ruin our friendship. It's the most important thing in my life," Remus said heartily.

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just confused... I said things I didn't mean. I was irresponsible that day. I mistakenly blamed you when the only one to blame was me."

"I was irresponsible, too."

"Well... It's hard to resist me when I want something. My charms are devastating. So it isn't your fault. Blame it on my devilish looks and sweet-talk," Sirius joked, making Remus smile for the first time.

"You don't hate me then," Remus repeated to assure himself.

"I could never hate you." Sirius looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "I love you."

Sirius had expected Remus to have some reaction when he said that. After all, he had just confessed his true feelings. But Remus hadn't seemed to grasp the seriousness of the situation. He'd just smiled feebly and thanked Sirius for being a good friend. Sirius wondered if he was losing his touch. Perhaps his stare hadn't been as intense as he thought it had been. There was also the fact that he didn't know for sure if Remus loved him the same way. It was one thing to hear his friends trying to convince Sirius that Remus had been in love with him for a long time. It was completely different to hear it from the person himself. It made things more real. He wanted to ask Remus about it, but he felt that this wasn't the appropriate time to do it. Remus was too fragile. Sirius didn't want to take advantage of him.

So instead of worrying about it, he lay down next to Remus and embraced his shaking body until Remus fell asleep. He closed his eyes too and let slumber overtake him.

Harry was not only tired mentally, but physically as well. Dumbledore had, of course, warned him about that. According to the Headmaster, Harry had pushed himself too hard during the battle, so his power level was low. Dumbledore told him to avoid stressful situations for at least a weak, but for a person such as Harry that was impossible. His heart and soul were restless. He had tried to tame his need to seek Draco out, but in vain. So by nightfall, he found himself under his invisibility cloak – thankfully, the cloak hadn't been confiscated – determined to have a look at Draco. But first, he dropped by at Hagrid's hut to apologise for the thestral's death.

It was difficult to face Hagrid. Harry felt so guilty that he wasn't able to look Hagrid in the eyes. But the half-giant treated him with his usual tenderness, which made Harry even more ashamed of himself.

"I was more worried 'bout you, Harry. Can't blame Malfoy for what he did either... I don' like him, but... He was thinking about your safety. That's what's important," said Hagrid as he served Harry some tea.

"But... I should've stayed here. I screwed up everything..." Harry looked defeated. "I couldn't keep Draco safe... I killed your thestral..."

Hagrid sighed sadly. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't know Murphy would be bitten by a werewolf zombie. That's something I'd like to see. A werewolf zombie... Quite scary, eh! I wonder if it's possible to tame one. What do you think, Harry?"

Harry shivered at the thought of Hagrid having a werewolf zombie as a pet, or worse, showing one in his classes as the next study subject. Hagrid misunderstood his worried expression. He patted Harry's back and almost sent him to the floor. "Don't worry, eh, Harry. I don't blame you for wanting to save Draco. I heard you saved a lot of people too. You're a good kid, Harry. So don't ye worry anymore. I'll say a prayer for Murphy tomorrow. Want to join me?"

Harry nodded with a smile, glad that Hagrid wasn't mad at him. He left the cabin feeling a little better, but the events of the previous night were still weighing on his shoulders. Did his presence in Little Whinging really made a difference? It was hard to tell. He had saved people, but he had failed Draco. He still felt bad about Murphy – the thestral – but he realised now that the werewolf zombie had been something totally unexpected. Murphy had been very brave to fight that scary creature.

Harry turned around a corner distractedly and bumped on someone.

"Ouch, Ron! I'm right behind you! Pay attention where you're going! You stepped on my foot!" complained Hermione.

"It wasn't my fault!" Ron defended himself. "I bumped into something." They stared ahead and saw nothing. Ron frowned. "And whatever it was, it made a really quick getaway!" he said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. If you bumped into something invisible then there's only one logical explanation. Harry!"

Harry came out from under the cloak and smiled at his best friends. Hermione barely waited for him to get up before wrapping her arms around him.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Harry, delighted to meet his friends.

"We were supposed to be here yesterday, but mom wanted us to stay home and save what was left of Christmas," Ron began to explain. "But with dad, Bill and Charlie joining the battle, it goes without saying that Christmas was pretty much a disaster. Mom wouldn't stop crying… But now here we are!"

"And dying to see you, Harry!" exclaimed Hermione. "Were you going to see Draco?"

Harry made a face. "So you already know he's here."

"Of course we know!"

"I thought Dumbledore would keep it a secret," Harry said.

"Well… You know that there are no secrets in Hogwarts," Hermione said slightly flustered.

Ron smirked. "We met Zabini. Guess who pushed him to the wall and forced him to talk." Ron looked at Hermione fondly. "My girl is so brave."

Harry chuckled. "I should've known. Zabini told you then."

Hermione nodded. "It wasn't that difficult to make him talk. Ron is exaggerating. Blaise looks like he doesn't care anymore. He looked really tired. Maybe we should write Seamus and tell him to come comfort him."

"I'm not sure how Seamus would react to that," said Harry.

"Nonsense, Harry. You know pretty well how he would react," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "It's the same with you. You're already under your Invisibility cloak wandering the corridors all alone so you can meet with Draco. And I know you aren't supposed to be doing that."

Harry made a face. "What am I supposed to do? I know he doesn't remember me as his boyfriend, but I do! I miss him. I need to see him. I won't let him see me. I just want to make sure that he's ok. Did Zabini tell you how I screwed up last night?"

"He did," Hermione said with a sympathetic look. "You thought you were doing the right thing."

"Yeah, but I almost got us killed…" Harry said with a dejected face.

"Don't keep blaming yourself, Harry. Everything is ok now," Hermione said in a motherly tone. "Nobody died."

"Hagrid's thestral did," Harry pointed out.

"Well…" Hermione and Ron looked at each other in search for the right words to console Harry.

"Just go after him, Harry. We'll back you up," Ron said decisively. Harry and Hermione stared at him thunderstruck. "What?" Ron asked.

"I never thought you'd encourage Harry to go after Draco," Hermione said.

Ron shrugged. "Well, Harry likes him. I'd have done the same thing if it were me."

Harry smiled at his friend and then hugged him. "Thanks, Ron." Ron flushed from head to toe. "See you later, guys." Harry winked at them and vanished under the cloak.

Hermione took Ron's hand and began to walk again. Hermione was worried about Harry's meeting with Draco, but she knew Harry needed that moment alone with his boyfriend. She just hoped Draco would go easy on him, although that was just wishful thinking on her part. Ron looked at her thoughtfully. "Hermione? Where are we going now? We were after Harry, but we already met him, so… Should we keep an eye on Harry? I think we need to make sure that Malfoy won't be a total jerk to him."

Hermione looked sad. "Harry would be mad if we interfered in any way. We should leave them alone. I'm not sure how Draco will react, having forgotten all about the two of them, but if he really loved Harry, I'm sure his heart won't let him hurt Harry."

"Then what're going to do?" Ron asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Ron, there's only us in the common room. What do you think we're going to do?"

Ron looked at her stunned, but then he smiled. "Why, Hermione, that's the first time _you_'ve invited me to make out."

Hermione frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Ron raised an eyebrow. "Well, didn't you say we have all the common room to ourselves? That's an invitation to play. We have a fireplace, a cosy couch, no one around…"

Hermione smiled softly and pecked his cheeks. "Ron, it's adorable the way your mind works. I mean, only _you_ would think about this while hell is breaking loose! I'm talking about going back to the common room and having a look at all those books Viktor sent me from Romania. They are really ancient. It was quite hard for Viktor to find them and…"

Ron scowled jealously. "You're still Krum's pen-pal?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "We are friends. Of course we keep in touch."

"I don't like this…"

Hermione made a face. "He's helping me find a book for Draco's problem."

"You told him about Malfoy? He must be quite a close friend…" Ron grunted.

"I didn't tell him anything; just that I needed to find something about controlling potions."

"What if he's a Death Eater? You know those people from Durmstrang are weird."

"Viktor is fine," she stated.

"Hermione, how can you be sure? He might be deceiving you!"

She glared at him. "Do I look stupid to you? Do you think I could be deceived easily?"

Ron would like to say yes, but he knew better than that. So he did every effort he could to swallow his jealousy. Nothing could be gained from an angry Hermione. "Fine. You know what's best for yourself. If you think he's a nice guy, then he is. But just remember that you are _my_ girl. Don't go giving him the wrong idea," he said, not being able to hold his tongue. He watched her open her mouth for her sharp comeback, but he cut in, saying, "Let's go then. We have lots of books to go through, so let's not waste our time arguing."

"You aren't jealous, then?" she asked uneasily.

Ron forced a smile. "Of course not. I trust you."

She gave him an odd look. "You could be a _little_ jealous. Aren't you at least a _little_ bit threatened by him?"

Ron started at her with utter confusion. "Well, I am a _little_ jealous."

She smiled mysteriously. Ron only shook his head, bemused. He would never understand women anyway, so he might as well play along. Perhaps later they could make out in front of the fireplace.

James entered his room, ready for his final and decisive confrontation with Lucius, but he didn't find his lover there. He sighed, frustrated, then collapsed on the bed to stare at the ceiling. With so many things going on, he hadn't had the time to just be alone with his thoughts and meditate. He had been worried about Harry, Draco and Remus. Now that James knew they were all under the same roof as he was, he could put his mind at ease for a few minutes or at least try to, because he still had one more person to worry about, and that person was Lucius.

They hadn't talked since they had arrived. Lucius' mind had been totally focused on Draco, which was completely understandable. Narcissa was also in the castle, so chances were that they were together discussing what would be best for Draco. James understood that with the chaos around, he wasn't Lucius' priority. It disturbed him to realise that he quite liked being the centre of Lucius' life.

James sighed. His love for Lucius was selfish. But now that he was finally free from all of his prejudices and fears, he wanted to keep Lucius close to him. Even though Lucius hadn't explained his actions in Little Whinging, James didn't believe him to be a traitor. Lucius was surely just pretending. If he hadn't been, he wouldn't have helped James escape.

James embraced the pillow and breathed in deeply. Lucius' scent still lingered. He smiled softly. His body reacted instantly and he moaned in yearning. Their lives were in danger, Voldemort was stronger than ever, and there he was, thinking of being ravished by Lucius. It was only love, he thought with a goofy smile. He was finally allowing himself to be crazily in love with somebody.

He heard the door open and he sat up straight. Lucius barely took notice of him as he made his way into the room and sank down on the big armchair by the window. Lucius looked exhausted. James figured that his conversation with Draco hadn't gone exactly what Lucius expected.

"Luc?" he called softly. Lucius looked up, but didn't say anything. "How's Draco?"

Lucius waved his hand in annoyance. "He's everything I imagined him to be. Everything I dreamed of before. He's defensive, cold, cynical... He couldn't believe a word I was saying. You know... A typical Malfoy. The funniest thing is that I didn't feel proud of him. It just made me..."

"Sad?" James suggested.

Lucius was about to deny it, but then he sighed and nodded his head slowly. "I suppose everybody is saying behind my back that I got what I deserved. I always pushed the kid to his limits. It is _my_ fault. Narcissa didn't have to keep nagging me about it."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Lucius shrugged. "Well, at least I know that deep down Draco is still the same. He might pose as a self-confident badass, but I know better. I caught a glimpse of his true feelings in his eyes. If only we could find a way to break the control of the potion... Everybody keeps telling us to have patience, but it's really hard," Lucius confessed dejectedly. "I'm starting to feel as restless as your son, Potter." Lucius kept quiet for a minute, lost in his thoughts, and then he sneered. "Well, I suppose it's only fair. It's also pretty ironic. I finally get what love is all about, but I lose everything in the process. I lost my house, my dignity, my son... I wonder if it's worth it..."

James rose from the bed and walked towards Lucius' armchair. "You don't really mean it."

Lucius looked up with a frown. "Don't I?"

James crossed his arms, upset. "Are you saying that the whole act in Little Whinging was for real? Do you want to go back to Voldemort and be his slave for eternity?"

Lucius tensed. "Of course not! You can't honestly believe that I would actually join Voldemort again! Do you think it was easy for me to keep my cool in front of you? I almost lost it when Dolohov's men put their hands on you!"

"You did a pretty good job hiding it," James pointed out coldly.

"That's what I do, Potter. I _pretend_. I'm very good at it. I told you already. You shouldn't be so surprised."

"Are you pretending to love me too?" James asked against his better judgement. He sounded so pathetic. Lucius stared at him incredulously and James sighed. "Never mind… I'm supposed you're right. I shouldn't make a fuss about what happened. I mean, you were only trying to find out about Draco, weren't you?" Lucius nodded his head and James could clearly see that he was being honest.

Lucius couldn't blame James for doubting him. His behaviour was erratic sometimes. Only with James was he able to lower his defences. It was because of that love that Lucius was finally opening up to his son. The old Lucius Malfoy was still there, but James had helped him bring his good side to the surface.

The Little Whinging incident had made Lucius realise that he was tired of dealing with Death Eaters. He was sick of pretending to be something he wasn't. He did a pretty good job at hiding himself behind a cold mask, but he didn't want that kind of life anymore. He had gotten in touch with his softer side. It would be hard to go back to what he used to be. He wanted to break free from his father's oppression that still haunted him even after his death. He wanted to be free to love James and his son in peace. And it really surprised him that he wanted those things back instead of his fortune and influence.

"It would be a lot easier if I didn't love you," Lucius grunted in distress. It was so hard to play the good guy instead of the bad one. There was much more at stake. He stared at James and one look at his lover's handsome face made his fears go away. "But I do love you."

James felt his heart leaping, and he didn't hold back a smile. "Do you really mean it?"

"Oh, stop being such a sissy, Potter. You know I mean it. I'm stressed. I just talked to Draco, and then Narcissa nagged the hell out of me for being such a lousy father – as if she was a better mother! We always go back to the same old arguing… It really pisses me off. And who do I turn to after such stressful events? _You_! I came back to you, hoping that you'd get a clue and comfort me like a good lover," Lucius complained.

James hid a smile. "You didn't look like you wanted me to comfort you."

"I'm not very good at expression my feelings…" Lucius mumbled, upset.

"I'll comfort you, but only after you explain to me exactly what you were doing with Dolohov. Since when have you been in touch with him?"

Lucius sighed. "I only met him that night. But I've been meeting other Death Eaters ever since Draco was taken away. I had Dumbledore's approval if you must know. I needed to know what was happening to my son. I also wanted Voldemort to think I was on his side again. I was prepared to go to him if he had called me." James paled and Lucius quickly added, "But I won't do that now. Draco isn't with him anymore. It's important that you understand what kind of man I am, James. I'd have joined Voldemort again if it was for my son's sake."

"And I admire you for that. I'd have done the same thing for Harry," James stated.

Lucius made a face. "But you stopped me the first time I tried to go after Draco."

James shrugged. "Well, Luc, that's the kind of man _I_ am. I always try to protect my loved ones." James walked towards Lucius slowly and then knelt down in front of him. "Do you still want me to comfort you?"

Lucius stared at him intently. "Yes. I just have to say something else first. If I have to act coldly again, I will. So try not to get in my way next time."

James nodded. "Actually, you look kind of sexy when you act like that."

Lucius smirked. "Don't tell me you were turned on. I should have known you would like to be fucked in front of other people. You know, I did think I felt something hard pressing against me."

James made a face. "Don't talk nonsense! I do admit, though, that your bad boy side is quite… appealing. I don't know why. I think it's your eyes."

Lucius' pupils dilated with desire. His intense look made James shiver. "Oh, really?" Lucius pushed James closer and their lips almost touched. But before Lucius could kiss him, James put a finger on his lips and said, "My wand first. Where is it? You haven't given it back to me."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "We're about to kiss and all you can think about is your wand? Honestly, Potter, where has the romance gone?" Lucius took James' wand out of his pocket and handed it to him.

James caught his wand and stared at Lucius with a naughty look. "You know, I should punish you for your bad behaviour."

Lucius almost choked. "What? You can't be serious!"

With a flick of his wand, James made Lucius' clothes disappear, leaving him with only his underwear. Lucius stared at him outraged and then tried to take the wand away from James. They ended up falling on the bed with their lips all over each other. James sat on top of Lucius and muttered a binding spell. Lucius' hands were bound to the bedposts.

"I don't like this, Potter," Lucius declared with a husky voice that said otherwise.

"You had me under _Imperio_ once. Actually, twice," James reminded him.

"That's so not true! I took away the curse before we had sex!"

"It doesn't matter. It's pay back time now. You're under my command."

Lucius frowned. "Weren't you supposed to be comforting me?"

"I am!"

Lucius looked at his tightened hands and smirked. "Like this?"

James smiled. He began to nip Lucius' lips and then kiss him passionately. Lucius let himself be ravished. That other side of James excited him. James played with his body until he couldn't take it anymore. He moaned in delight as James' mouth engulfed him and brought him close to climax. When James finally released his hands, Lucius lay on top of him and placed himself between James' thighs, thrusting deeply inside of him. They began a journey that sent them to the stars.

"No matter what, I trust you," James whispered in Lucius' ear. "I love you."

Those words set Lucius on fire and he came immediately after that, whispering _Jimmy's_ name over and over. After their breaths were back to normal, they both looked at each other embarrassedly, and then they smiled.

"That was certainly a surprise. I knew you had a kinky side, Potter. I bet you were really turned on when you thought you were under _Imperius_," Lucius said playfully.

James flushed. "Don't be stupid."

"You were quite inspired," Lucius kept provoking him.

"I was just horny…" James said, hiding his face on Lucius' shoulder.

"It's the danger, isn't it? It turns you on," Lucius pointed out with a smirk.

"Shut up!"

Lucius made James stare at him and when their eyes were locked, he said with a serious expression, "I won't betray you. I… love you too, James. Thanks for not judging me before I could explain myself."

"I knew you had your reasons for acting the way you did, Lucius. I confess I was fooled for a moment or two, but I know the real you now. And I love you very much."

They kissed and then cuddled while they waited for their heart beats to return to normal. Lucius held James in his arms and smiled freely when he was sure James wasn't looking. To have James by his side was a miracle. He would hold on to that as much as he could. Thanks to James he had allowed himself to relax a little, but Draco still worried him. He kept wondering if any of them would ever be able to live a normal life.

Outside, there was the prediction of a snowstorm.

TBC…

A/N: Feedbacks will be highly appreciated! So please, review!


	20. More Than a Kiss

**READ, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT**: A/N: I want to thank Jade, Dumbledore, Charisse and Alice for their big help and wonderful beta work. And to all of you who reviewed, thank you! I'm a little upset right now, because removed two of my stories from their site accusing me of plagiarism… The stories are My Immortal and The Game of Love. Because of this, I'm seriously thinking about removing all of my stories from the site. If anyone has news about the person who's claiming to have written those stories – that are MINE by the way – please let me know.

Chap. 20 – **More than a Kiss**

Outside the window, snow fell. Inside the room, Draco's mind was in turmoil. In his hands was the letter Lucius had left with him. The handwriting was undoubtedly Draco's own, and a power spell had proved him right. He had indeed written the letter. But how that came to be, Draco had no idea.

In addition, Blaise's visit had been of no help. His ex-assistant hadn't been in the right mood for talking, and didn't seem to think that he had any obligations to Draco anymore. When Draco had tried to put him in his place, Blaise had pointed out stalwartly that Draco wasn't his _master_ anymore and therefore had no command over him. He would talk when he felt like it. Draco asked him when that would be with his typical sneer, but Blaise had left the room with a shrug of his shoulders, making Draco want to hex him for his insolence. He didn't know why he hadn't done it. It wasn't as if he couldn't. Even though Dumbledore had confiscated his wand, Draco could still do wandless magic.

Draco called himself stupid for thinking that Blaise would assist him in any way, and he wondered why his old self had seemed to think differently. The letter clearly stated that Draco had trusted _Blaise_ to take care of him while in the Black Fortress. It also said that Draco had only gone away because he wanted to protect Harry from himself. To Draco, those words didn't mean a thing. He didn't love Harry Potter. He would never protect him.

But his father's words continued to disturb him. Deep down, right from the start when Harry had entered Madam Malkin's shop and hadn't bothered with him at all, Draco had thought about Harry not only as an enemy, but also as an object of desire. But back then, he couldn't have identified the feelings of desire. He had been too young to know what desire felt like. But as he had reached the age of fourteen, he had felt _it_ as he watched Harry flying around with an attitude that had set him on fire many times.

Draco's few faint memories of himself defying Voldemort and his father also bothered him from time to time. And the reason for that was _Harry_.

Draco sunk in his armchair and sighed. He felt a sharp pain in his heart every time he tried to think of Harry as only an enemy. He couldn't understand why. He was really confused.

"What's going on?" he asked himself. "What's real?"

The reality Draco was familiar with was him as a terrifying Death Eater, almost married to Voldemort's granddaughter and having all the power in the world at his disposal. He was vicious, knew how to bribe people and raise money for their cause like no one else. He cared about nothing but his own goals. He had even thought about killing Voldemort after marrying Pansy so he would be the command-in-chief. Draco knew he would do a better job than Voldemort mainly because he wasn't a lunatic after blood and destruction. Draco was a man of vision. He didn't mind stealing, bribing and even occasionally killing. But while Voldemort embodied the mad villain stereotype, Draco's reign would be more political.

He sighed again. But then there was the _other_ Draco Malfoy, the one his father kept telling him was _good_ and _altruistic_. Draco couldn't see himself fighting for justice. He didn't feel like he was sick or being controlled by Voldemort at all, and the proof to that were his thoughts about betraying Voldemort and taking over his legacy.

His father's new personality was another thing that shocked him and he couldn't even begin thinking about the changes he saw in his mother. It was as if Lucius and Narcissa had been brainwashed.

Draco remembered his mother's cold attitude towards him. He remembered quite well his father's harsh words and critical stares. The parents he had recently experienced in Hogwarts were nothing like the parents he had lived with for his entire life.

Draco put the letter aside, intending to go to bed and hoping that he was only having a very bad dream. But before he put his pyjamas on he found a picture inside his robe. Curiously, he took it out and gasped as he realised it was Harry's picture. Draco didn't remember bringing it along with him. However, his attention was drawn away as suddenly, the green eyes of the snake on his ring began to glow. He heard a noise coming from somewhere near him. With all of his senses alert, he scanned the room. Draco could feel that there was _someone_ with him. He stared at his silver ring again. It glowed stronger as he walked toward the sound.

His heart beat loudly in his chest. He felt someone grabbing the picture away from his hand and he let out a yelp. At the same time, the mysterious person exclaimed joyfully, "It's a picture of me! And you're wearing the silver ring!"

Draco looked suspiciously at the empty space from where the voice seemed to be coming out. He felt as if he had been caught red-handed. He was even more terrified when Harry Potter appeared in front of him with a wide smile on his face.

"What...?" Draco began, dumbfounded. It took him a while to find his voice again.

"Your heart hasn't forgotten about me," Harry said jubilantly, holding the picture high in his hand. "This is the proof. You still have my picture. Why would you carry it if you really hated me? Why would you risk keeping it if it didn't mean anything to you? And you're wearing the silver ring I gave you."

"_You_ gave me this?" Draco asked in shock, staring at the ring and then back at Harry.

"Yes!" Harry nodded his head. He held back the urge to throw himself at Draco.

"You..." Draco took a step forward and then jumped at Harry with his hands out to strangle him. "_You_! You took my voice away, you idiot! I was hit by Pettigrew because of you!" Draco and Harry rolled on the floor. "I'll kill you! And I won't even need magic to do it for me! I'll kill you with my bare hands, you piece of Muggle scum!"

Harry tried to break free, but Draco's grip was too strong. He almost choked as Draco's hands closed around his neck and squeezed it hard. Harry felt stupid for letting his happiness lower his defences. He didn't want to hurt Draco, but he had no choice. He sent Draco across the room using only his thoughts. To avoid more damage, he conjured a big fluffy cushion just before Draco hit the floor so the blonde would land on something soft.

While Harry gasped for breath, Draco tried to understand what had just happened. He looked at the cushion he was on and then at Harry. He could have sworn that the cushion wasn't there before he landed. He remembered Harry telling him that he could do magic with only the force of his thoughts, and he wondered if Harry had conjured the fluffy cushion to weaken his fall. It confused him. Why would Harry push him away but save him from getting hurt in the process?

"Merlin... You were really going to kill me, weren't you?" Harry asked as he slowly caught his breath and stroked his neck.

Draco just shrugged, but as he stared at the bruise he had left on Harry's neck, he felt guilty and couldn't understand why.

"Well, it's my fault really," Harry said in a throaty voice. "I knew I shouldn't have let you see me. You aren't the same Draco anymore… but I couldn't resist. You have my photo! Do you know what that means?"

Draco was stunned that Harry could still grin at him after almost being strangled. "Are you bloody mental, Potter? You're risking your life by being here. Don't think that just because we're in Hogwarts together I wouldn't try anything against you!" Draco exclaimed, enraged.

"I know," Harry sneered as his fingers touched his neck. That bruise was the proof that Draco wasn't kidding. He sighed tiredly. "You can't remember it Draco, but we shared something very special not so long ago and–"

"Don't call me by my first name!" Draco said, coldly.

"Your old self wouldn't have minded…" Harry muttered.

"_My old self_! I'm sick and tired of hearing about my old self! I have no idea what you people are talking about! If I really was this 'kind-hearted' person everyone insists that I was, then I'm really glad I can't remember anything," Draco declared, obviously upset. "And what the hell are you doing in my room?"

"I was just making sure you weren't going to try and escape." Harry said deciding to leave out the part about loving him so much that he couldn't live another day without seeing him.

"I can't escape now. And whatever reasons I may have had are none of your business! Besides, it's freezing out there. Why would I risk my perfect skin in this cold weather?" Draco smirked, getting to his feet. Harry also stood up slowly and immediately felt a little dizzy. He wavered a little and decided to sit down on the bed until he felt completely recovered.

That was the perfect occasion to finish Harry off, but somehow Draco didn't do anything. He just gave Harry the time he needed to recover from his sudden attack. Draco couldn't understand why he cared. It wasn't like him at all. Perhaps there was still something of the _old_ Draco left inside of him. He shuddered at the thought. He was already starting to believe in that make-believe world where he had been in love with Harry Potter. He needed to not forget who he was, and to do that, he needed to keep himself together.

Draco glanced at the cushion on the floor and his heartbeat quickened. "Why did you conjure that cushion?" he asked Harry quickly, before he lost his nerve.

Harry smiled softly. "The impact of the fall could have seriously injured you. You could have hit your head. I know you're still weak from Pettigrew's curse, so… I'm not here to hurt you, Draco."

Draco felt a sharp pain in his heart at the sight of that smile. He felt butterflies flutter in his stomach at the soft way Harry said his name. It sounded so sweet coming from Harry. Draco frowned at the stupid thought and blurted, "Why do you bloody care about my welfare? I just tried to kill you!" He made a face, more upset with himself than with Harry.

Harry made a face in return. "As much as you do deserve to be spanked, I would have never hurt you. How could I?"

Draco looked away, irritated with the strange feeling that was growing inside his chest. His eyes fell upon his ring, which was still glowing, but faintly. "Why did you say you gave this to me?" he asked, pointing at his ring.

"Because I _did_ give you this," Harry stated. "This was my first gift to you."

"Why would you give _me_ a _gift_? And why would I accept it?" Draco asked confusedly.

Harry bit his lower lip trying to find the right words. "Because… once upon a time… we were in love."

Draco sneered. "Yeah, right. There's no way in hell that I could ever fall in love with you. I don't know what kind of game you people are playing with me, but I'm not going to play along."

"And yet you're still here," Harry pointed out.

"Like I said, I would never risk my delicate skin in this weather," Draco said with a snort.

"Aren't there spells to protect your _delicate complexion_?" Harry asked playfully.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "You seem so eager to get me out of here, Potter. I wonder why. If I understood right, you're in love with me," Draco said scornfully.

Harry finally stood up and walked steadily towards Draco, who held the urge to take a step back. Draco wouldn't waver in front of his enemy, no matter how uneasy Harry made him feel.

"Are you provoking me?" Harry asked, stopping only a few inches away. Draco was surprised at the way his body reacted to that proximity.

"I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing," Draco answered, trying to sound indifferent.

"I don't want you to go, if that's what you're thinking. I said before, I came here to make sure you wouldn't escape. Besides, I went to Little Whinging to bring you back. Why would I want you out of here?" Harry asked.

Harry's scent was strangely seductive and it was dazzling Draco in a very strange way. Scared of his feelings, he finally backed away and said, "Don't worry, Potter. I'm not going anywhere until I find some answers. So, could you please leave before I seriously hurt you?"

"I have most of the answers you need. We spent a lot of our time together. I know more about you than your own father does," Harry said. Draco growled in outrage. Even though Draco was being so cold to him, Harry could see in his eyes that he had touched Draco's heart. "I take back what I said before. I don't think you'd have the courage to kill me, and it isn't only because we're in Hogwarts. You can't kill me because deep down you know exactly what you feel for me. Your head might not remember, but your heart does. I thought Voldemort was controlling you, but that isn't the case at all. He can't control you. You have a will of your own, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Draco stated, not liking where the conversation was going. "And don't say such strange things! I could hurt you, and I will if you don't get the hell out!"

Harry smirked. "Then try it. I won't fight back. You know now that I won't hurt you. Kill me if that's what you really want."

Harry knew he was taking a very large risk. It was a very dangerous game that he was playing. If his father, or anyone else, found out what he was doing he would be in deep trouble. There was also a risk that Lucius, Narcissa, or even Dumbledore himself would enter the room at any moment to check on Draco. But Harry didn't care. If he was reading the spark in Draco's eyes right, he still had a chance to save their relationship. Draco wasn't just Voldemort's puppet. He wasn't poisoned either, otherwise he would be dead by now. Whatever Voldemort had tried to do with Draco, it wasn't working. Harry bet Draco was already fighting Voldemort's curse even though Draco himself didn't notice it.

Blaise's old letters to the Order seemed to be correct. Draco was only a vicious Slytherin, nothing that Harry hadn't faced before. Those thoughts gave him the courage to proceed.

"So?" Harry asked with his eyebrows arched, "aren't you going to do anything?"

"Even though your death would be my joy, I wouldn't be stupid enough to kill you right under the Order's nose. I know I said I would before, but now that I've cooled down, I realise that killing you would be suicide."

"And there's also the fact that if I die, Voldemort dies too," Harry added

Draco shrugged. "Ah, yes, that too." His voice indicated that he couldn't care less.

Harry was amused. "You really don't care about him, do you?"

"My thoughts are none of your business, Potter. Could you leave? Or will I have to kick you out? I can also do wandless magic, and I bet I can be stronger than you."

Those words were like an invitation for Harry to start moving closer again. Draco shivered slightly.

"Touch me and we'll see what happens to your skull," Draco threatened. "It won't be pretty, I promise you."

Harry smirked. "I'm willing to pay the price. You're still wearing my ring. You have my picture with you. Tell me again how much you _hate_ me."

"I didn't know about the ring! You can have it back if you want to." Draco tried to take it off but the ring seemed to be stuck on his finger. He fumed. "What's wrong with the damn thing?" No matter how much he tried, the ring wouldn't come off. He grunted in frustration. "You put a spell on it! _Confess_! Damn you, Potter! I don't know why there was a picture of you in my belongings! This is all a big misunderstanding set up to make me lose my mind! I was never in love with you! _I hate you_! _Hate you_!" he yelled, out of control.

It all happened very fast. One minute Draco was throwing a fit and the next Harry's lips were on his, kissing him with a passion that took Draco by surprise. Draco was so stunned that he didn't react at all. His body froze for a moment, but after a few seconds he began to kiss Harry back against his will. It wasn't his fault. His body was acting on its own volition. He had no control of what was going on within him. His arms wouldn't push Harry away no matter how much his brain ordered them to. His lips wouldn't leave Harry's. On the contrary, even his tongue was taking part in the action. Draco felt his body melting and his senses giving in to that sweet madness.

Harry was kissing him as if he was a starving man, and Draco was kissing him back with the same intensity. It was more than just a simple kiss. That sudden _assault_ on him was to prove a point. It was to drive home the idea that their _love_ had been true. And the worst part of it all was that Draco's body was buying the idea quite well.

The dream Draco had had with Harry in the Black Fortress appeared in his mind vividly. Draco felt as lost now as he had felt in the dream. He was a slave to his emotions and he hated himself for it.

Draco almost laughed hysterically. Everyone thought Voldemort was the one controlling him. If only they could see him now. It was more like _Harry_ was his _master_, because Draco seemed to be powerless here, and all it took was a kiss to bewitch him. Not complicated potions and vicious curses, but a _kiss_.

It was Harry who broke off their kiss first, and then backed away slowly, but he never took his eyes off Draco's dazed ones. Harry was enchanted by Draco's surrender. It was one more piece of proof that their relationship was worth saving.

"I'm really glad you're all right. Unfortunately, no matter how much I want to spend the night with you, I can't. You might rip my head off in the morning," Harry joked. "This is great, Draco. You might not remember our love, but you still _feel_ something. I won't give up on us." Harry kissed Draco one last time and then headed for the door.

"Wait a minute!" Draco shouted. "Where do you think you're going? You can't just leave!"

Harry smiled. "I thought you wanted me to."

"I do! But I want to ask you a few things. Like this dream I had a few days ago… Did you invade my dream, Potter?"

Harry smiled mysteriously and then winked saucily. "Maybe. We'll talk tomorrow."

"I don't get you at all! You kissed me and…" Draco flushed from head to toe as he thought of the devastating effect Harry's kiss had over him. "Why are you leaving after…?" …_after making me burn with desire? _It was how Draco wanted to finish the sentence, but the words refused to leave his mouth. It would be way too embarrassing if he said those things.

"Do you want me to stay?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yes! I… I need to hex your ass for having the audacity to kiss me!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry dared to laugh at Draco and before a ceramic vase hit his head, he left the room quickly. While he heard Draco cursing him, Harry went back to his room whistling. He was very happy with the turn of the events. He could now put his mind at ease a little, for he had realised that Draco wasn't just Voldemort's pawn, and he still could melt in Harry's arms. There was still hope for them.

"Eureka!" exclaimed Hermione.

Ron, who had almost fallen asleep with his face buried in a book, sat straight up instantly after hearing her voice and looked around confusedly. "What? When? Where? Who's Eureka?"

Harry chuckled and then turned to Hermione, eager to know what she had found out. Since she had told him that morning about the books sent from Romania by Viktor Krum, Harry had been helping her with the renewed enthusiasm caused by his visit to Draco's room the other night. While Ron had asked him to contain his elation to avoid suffering later, Hermione had congratulated Harry and even cried a little, saying that she had always had faith in their love for each other.

"Your love is bigger than life, Harry," she had added with a dreamy sigh while Ron had rolled his eyes.

It was almost lunchtime when Hermione shouted 'eureka'. Harry looked at her interestedly. "Tell me something good, 'Mione! I can't wait to boast to Snape that _we_ were the ones who found a way to bring the old Draco back!"

"Well..." She handed the book to Harry. "It is good news in a way. I've just found the cure of all cures. A potion so strong that it says it can cure anything. Carpatus Capparela discovered it a long time ago. He was a great potions maker; he discovered a lot of potions in our books, including a love potion. He decided to test a new potion on his wife when she fell ill from a Muggle plague in the Dark Ages. Four days after taking the medicine – or potion, or whatever – she got miraculously better. Some people found out about this potion and Carpatus was so excited about it that he began to test it on everything. Soon the news that there was such a potent medicine around was known even for Muggles, mostly Lords and Dukes."

"That's great!" Harry said, grinning. "Then it means that we don't need to look for a specific cure for Draco because we have a generic one! I just don't understand why Snape and the others hadn't considered this." Harry raised an eyebrow with suspicion. "Wait - Where's the catch?"

Hermione leaned her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together. "The potion doesn't appear in modern day books. In fact, they stopped adding it to school books and even to more advanced books because they wanted people to forget it was ever made."

"But _why_?" Harry asked. "If it's so great... I don't understand."

Hermione sighed. "There was a major dispute to own it. Carpatus was brought to his limits in the makings of the potion. It had to be done very carefully, and there was a particularly fragile ingredient added at the end of the process that was extremely hard to get."

"Tell me something new..." Harry grunted. "So that's the catch, huh?"

"Sort of… the key ingredient was supplied by a mysterious source that made Carpatus swear not to tell a soul about it," she began to explain. "But Carpatus was so happy about his new discovery that he broke his promise. The potion became famous. Everybody wanted it. Some people wanted it to use for the good of the human kind, some for their own selfish purposes. The demands were so high that soon Carpatus ran out of it. The lack of it made people insane. Some were profiting from it, and, when Carpatus stopped his production, there was a series of murders to discover his source."

"That's human nature to you..." Ron pointed out. "It's pretty much the same with the Philosopher's stone. It's a great gift, but in the hands of the wrong person it becomes a very bad thing."

Hermione nodded her head. "Exactly! Needless to say, Carpatus' source cut all relations to him. Afraid to face the consequences of his actions, Carpatus vanished with his wife to an unknown place. And no one has ever heard of this powerful healing potion again."

"What was the name of the potion?" Ron asked.

"_Vita_," Hermione answered. "It means life. Some people used to call it Pandora's potion, though. It was the popular name."

Harry made a face. "How bloody original…" He looked at the book and frowned. "Hermione… it says here that the story is only a _legend_! _That_ was why they stopped adding it to more serious books about potions! Carpatus really existed, but it was never proved that he was the maker of _Vita_."

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "So?"

"_So_?" Harry breathed hard. "Hermione, you're a clever girl! I don't have to explain to you what a legend means, do I?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course not, stupid."

"Who's stupid? You do realise that the story is a bloody lie! It's all _make-believe_! None of this is true!" Harry exclaimed angrily, casting the book aside. "And we are back where we started... Dammit. Why can't we use a normal memory charm on him?"

"We don't know what a memory charm would do, Harry. It might make things worse, which is why Snape and the others don't want to use it. It isn't appropriate in Draco's case. I mean, even though it only seems like he has lost his memory... we don't really know. We don't know what Voldemort gave him. Blaise couldn't find anything."

"It's so unfair..." Harry muttered mutinously. Ron patted his back.

"Indeed," Hermione agreed with a motherly face. "But Harry, we do have a shot with _Vita_."

Harry stared at her as if she had gone mental. "What are you talking about? The thing doesn't exist! And even if it did exist, there's this one of a kind ingredient that it's impossible to locate. Like usual…"

"What's the ingredient?" Ron asked.

"A blue rose," Hermione answered. "I read that scientists all over the world had tried many times over to grow one in laboratories, without any success. It is the object of desire of Muggles and Wizards, because it is said to be not only beautiful but also extremely magical. It is said to be a legend because it could only be found in the famous Hanging Gardens of Babylon, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. But what if it were true? I mean legends are based on something real, right? No matter how fantastic they are, there's always an element of truth hiding in them. And even though in the Muggle world there are doubts whether the gardens of Babylon existed, we as Wizards _know_ that it was real."

"I don't think so. Legends are legends," Ron stated.

"I can understand why Muggles would think that, but we are _Wizards_, Ron! We know some things are real! I mean a Basilisk is a bloody Muggle legend! But we know it's very real! Right, Harry?" Hermione shot such an angry look in his direction that even if he hadn't already fought with a Basilisk he would have agreed with her. "There are lots of books in the Wizarding world stating that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon truly existed and they were quite magical."

"A basilisk is a muggle myth, not a legend," Ron said without noticing Hermione's rising anger. "There's a difference, isn't there?" Ron felt Harry's foot kicking him under the table. Ron confusedly looked at him. "What?" Harry pointed at Hermione and Ron sunk low in his chair when he saw her flushed face. "I'm just saying that we should be careful about things…" he mumbled.

"That isn't the point!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Of course it is! Ron _does_ have a point, Hermione. If these are all empty assumptions, we should disregard them and move on to the next idea," Harry said. "How can this help us? Even if the story isn't a legend, or a myth, or whatever! Even so, what makes you so sure that this rose exists?"

Hermione's expression changed completely. Instead of the scowl drawn across her face, she was now smiling mysteriously. "I _know_ who cultivates blue roses."

Harry opened his eyes widely. "Are you for real?" She nodded her head. "Who?" Harry asked anxiously.

"_Vampires_!" she answered with a grin.

Ron almost choked at the word. "WHAT? Have you lost your mind? How the hell do you know about this? Don't tell me you have a friend who's a Vampire!"

"_Vampires_?" Harry looked at her puzzled. "Aren't they dangerous? I mean, I never gave much thought to them in the Wizarding world… I don't know why really. I mean we're talking about a world with Werewolves, Zombies and Basilisks. But Vampires? They actually exist?"

"Yes, they do. And they are bad, Harry!" Ron explained with a horrified expression. "_Very_ bad! You don't want to mess with them!"

"They suffer as much prejudice as Werewolves nowadays," Hermione said indifferently. "But they are more united and organized then Werewolves. They aren't dangerous, Ron."

"Of course they are! Besides, you're thinking about Professor Lupin, aren't you? He's a good guy, but that doesn't mean that every Werewolf is like him!" Ron exclaimed, aggravated. "Even if you met a good Vampire, the lot of them are bad by nature. Trust me."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you're talking about the stereotyped version of a Vampire. They are quite a strong group, very political. They even have their own magical country. If only Werewolves were as united as they are… Professor Lupin would have a better shot."

"That's bullshit," Ron grumbled. "Having you been listening to me? They are _bad_. They just can't help it."

"What's a Vampire like in the Wizarding world?" Harry asked, ignoring Ron's grunts.

"They are the most–" Ron began to say hotly, but Hermione cut him off with just a look.

"They do need blood to survive, but contrary to the Muggle belief, you can't fight them with holy water, garlic and crosses. They are extremely sensitive to light, preferring the night instead of the day, but if exposed to the sun, they won't die. It might make them blind for a while though… Their eyes don't work well during the day," Hermione explained.

"They _suck_ people's blood, Hermione!" Ron said, trying to bring her back to reason.

"That isn't true… entirely," she said, looking away. "Maybe they used to do that in the past... But now they own a lot of blood banks. Like I said, they are more political now. They don't just go out killing people. Although there are some who are a little rebellious and sometimes make a mistake…"

"By sucking people's blood!" Ron repeated.

"Well, yeah," she said, annoyed. "But those kinds are the minority now, and they are severely punished by their own group when they do that."

"Ok. How do you know they cultivate blue roses?" Harry asked, trying to get back to the topic at hand.

"Yeah, who's a Vampire?" Ron questioned with a frown. "_Snape_? He does look like a giant bat. No, wait. It's Krum, isn't it? He's a very weird guy… He kind of looks like Snape, doesn't he? And he's scarily pale."

"How can he be a Vampire? He's a Quidditch player. He wouldn't be able to play in the sun. I mean, he wouldn't see the game properly," Harry pointed out. "He would have to wear special glasses or something."

"Maybe he improved his other senses…" Ron suggested.

"Oh, please… Viktor isn't a Vampire!" Hermione said, putting an end to their discussion. "I wasn't talking about him. I'm talking about Cassandra D. Dracula."

Ron felt shivers down his spine at the surname. "Don't tell me she's related to Dracula, _the_ Dracula. The 'Prince of Darkness'? _The famous Count Dracula_?"

"Yes, she's his great-great-great-great- something granddaughter," Hermione stated. "And she's a wonderful writer. She has written many novels about her ancestors."

"So there really is a Count Dracula? I thought _he_ was a legend," Harry said interestedly.

"Or a myth," Ron suggested, making Hermione roll her eyes.

"Whatever," she said. "What matters is that she often mentions the blue rose in her books."

"Why hasn't Voldemort tried to become a Vampire?" Harry asked thoughtfully. "Don't they live forever?"

"That's another lie about them. It is true that they can die with a stake through their hearts, but it was proved that a killing curse is just as effective," Hermione began to explain.

"Good to know," Ron mumbled.

"Vampires can live longer than Wizards, but their immortality is an urban legend. They alldie eventually," she finished.

"Why can't we fight them with crosses?" Harry asked. "Aren't they demons?"

"Not really... I mean, some people say that they were born from a demon, but... No, I'm pretty sure crosses don't scare them. Cassandra is very clear about that. They are very strong, but they can be stopped with magic. They can't control their own magic. Most of them can't make use of magic at all. Only a few have the gift for it."

"Well, at least we can fight them with our wands..." Harry said to himself. "Tell me more about this Cassandra."

"Oh, she's a great woman!" Hermione began excitedly. "And very friendly, too. I wrote her a letter once and she wrote me back quite nicely! I think her stories are fascinating. Although Vampires are cold at first sight, they are quite passionate once they fall in love. The best love stories have males as protagonists. They are very open-minded about homosexuality. They are very sensual and they care a lot about sex, but they don't treat the subject lightly. Sex is a way to reach the divine.

"According to Cassandra's book, Dracula did turn bad in the beginning; so bad that he would probably scare Voldemort. He suffered a great loss and he turned his back away from God, promising to live by his own standards. He tried to reach immortality by tasting another human being's blood, but instead he cursed his life and a number of others that came afterwards. All the legends come from the period of darkness he lived in and that's why Ron seems so terrified of them."

Ron made a face and Hermione chuckled.

"They _were_ terrifying," she continued, "but at the end of his life, Dracula fell in love again and this love made him regret most of the things he had done in the name of hatred and bitterness. His descendant, Von Christopher, slowly began to clean up their tarnished reputation. It took centuries, and even though they still face prejudice, they are quite a civilised race. They don't go out attacking people randomly anymore. Cassandra is the living proof that they have made peace with the world."

"What about the blue rose?" Harry asked.

"Oh, right. In the Dark Ages, it reached some of the Vampire's ears that a very strong healing potion was being made and they took quite an interest in it. According to one of Cassandra's novels, her ancestors found what was left of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon after a very risky quest, and made a pact with its guardian. They would help him hide the Gardens of Babylon from the rest of the world, and in exchange they wanted the freedom to study the blue rose," Hermione said.

"Why did they want the blue rose so much?" Ron asked.

"Isn't it obvious? The blue rose can cure everything! They thought it could break their cursed blood and make them human again. But it didn't work out that way," Hermione explained. "Even so, they still cultivate roses. It's sort of Cassandra's hobby."

"I don't understand. If she claims to have them, then why do people still think of blue roses as legends?" asked Harry, taking a look at the book again.

"That's the thing. Most people are still afraid of Vampires. They think Cassandra is just an eccentric Vampire and her stories are just a product of her imagination. They don't think her stories are real. Besides, she doesn't say in her books that the blue rose can be used to cure everything. She only says the blue rose was once used to try to turn them into humans again. I guess the new generations don't even know about the existence of the blue rose. If it weren't for the books Viktor sent me, I wouldn't know about Carpatus' story and _Vita_. Viktor's book doesn't say whether the Vampires found the blue rose or not. But Cassandra's books clearly state that they did. One book complements the other."

"I don't understand why you think this is true, Hermione. Why do you believe in her stories?" Harry asked curiously. Hermione wasn't the type of person who would believe in that sort of thing unless she really thought them to be real.

"I read a lot, and I really like her novels. She writes with such a passion, like she really knows what she's talking about. I asked her what was true and what wasn't, and she told me that even though some things are made up, most of the information she gives are factual," Hermione said. Her spirit seemed to flag a little. "But the truth is Harry… I don't really know. I guess I got carried away when I read about the blue rose being use as the cure of all cures. I remembered Cassandra's stories and… well… I thought it was worth telling you about…"

"What does your heart tell you?" Harry asked her.

"Don't encourage her, Harry…" Ron mumbled.

"I think the rose exists," Hermione said firmly. "And since no one has come up with anything else so far, I think we might want to check for ourselves."

Harry and Hermione exchanged a determined look that worried Ron.

"No, no, no!" Ron exclaimed, exasperated. "Whatever you two are thinking, just forget it!"

"Can we talk to Cassandra?" Harry asked Hermione without bothering to reply to Ron's protests.

"I can arrange a meeting, I think," Hermione answered.

"Where does she live?" Harry asked.

"Romania, Transylvania." Hermione and Harry smiled at each other. Ron just crossed his arms and sulked.

"You are both insane… I can't believe you're actually considering going to Transylvania and entering a Vampire's village as if you're planning a walk in the park," Ron muttered, upset.

"If you have a better idea, I'll hear you out," Harry said, looking at Ron intently. Hermione also stared at her boyfriend, making Ron feel uncomfortable.

"You're supposed to be the voice of reason, Hermione," Ron complained. "I can't believe you're actually considering this insanity. And since both of you seem to have lost your minds, I feel like I have to be the responsible one. If we really are going to Transylvania," Ron shivered at the thought, but went on, "we should ask an adult so they can come with us. It'll be a lot easier if an adult comes along. Not to mention that we would be safer. Vampires aren't my only concern. There's You-Know-Who and his crew, too."

"Good point," Harry said, impressed.

"I'd never be crazy enough to go on this journey alone," Hermione said, making a face. "Of course I'd consider asking an adult to come along."

Harry looked at her with a frown. "Really?"

"I'm still the voice of reason," she smirked. "It'd be difficult for us to be alone. Like Ron pointed out, there are more dangerous things than Vampires to worry about. Voldemort is one of them."

"Well, I guess you're both right," Harry said, agreeing. "I vote for my father."

Ron nodded in agreement. "I like that."

"I was thinking about Lucius Malfoy, too," Hermione suggested.

Harry arched his eyebrows. "Why?"

Hermione bit her lower lip and then said, "He's Draco's father, Harry. And he _is_ a Malfoy. He could be very useful to us."

"Oh, so you admit that Vampires aren't as political as you may think," said Ron with a sneer.

She shrugged. "One can never be too careful."

"Alright, then. All we have to do now is tell them," Harry said.

"And pray for them to buy this insane idea," said Ron.

Harry sighed tiredly. Ron was right, as incredible as that sounded. The whole idea was too good to be true, and probably very dangerous. It might only be wishful thinking on their part, but so far it was their best shot. Not even Snape had come up with something to bring Draco's true self back. It was up to Harry now, and he was willing to risk his life if he had to. He just wanted his loving boyfriend back.

Harry looked at his friends determinedly and stated, "We'll present our idea to my father and the others and see what they have to say about it. If they disregard it from the start, we'll go on our own. Are you two with me?"

Hermione was the first one to nod vigorously. Ron wavered a little, but he also nodded in the end.

"This is so exciting!" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron looked at her and shook his head. He missed the old days when his girlfriend was the one who talked them out of their crazy adventures instead of suggesting them herself.

While James and Severus tried to convince Harry, the Muggle-born girl and the Weasley boy that the story of the blue rose was just nonsense created by a wild imagination, Lucius watched them from a corner thoughtfully. Even though at first he thought the whole thing was absurd, Lucius knew that in the magical world almost everything was possible. It was also known that Vampires had a lot of secrets. The blue rose might be one of them. The best thing of all was that Lucius had connections with them, and he knew Cassandra Dracula. They had had their differences in the past, but he was sure he could melt her heart if he told her about his son.

Lucius was jolted out of his thoughts by Severus and James' heated discussion, and he only interfered when they started threatening to kill each other.

"Let's not get physical," Lucius said, coming between James and Severus. "I'm sure we can solve this like gentlemen."

"Right, because only you can get _physical_ with Potter," Severus sneered; making Lucius raise an eyebrow and James stare at him murderously.

"That's right, Severus," Lucius smirked. "Why, are you jealous?"

"In your dreams, Lucius," Severus retorted.

"Oh, my God! Don't say things like that!" Harry exclaimed, finally understanding the joke. "It isn't funny!"

"Yeah," Ron agreed, although he wasn't quite sure he had understood the joke at all. Hermione gently stroked his hands when she saw his confused expression, and thought that for some things Ron still remained a little dense, which was kind of cute.

"Well Potter Junior, you should treat me nicely because I'm the only one here who's willing to go after the blue rose," Lucius said, staring at Harry.

Harry widened his eyes. "Really? So you believe that Cassandra Dracula has the blue rose, and that this particular rose might be used to bring Draco's memories back?"

"I believe it's rubbish, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth seeing for ourselves," Lucius said, sitting down on the couch gracefully and crossing his legs. "Vampires are fascinating creatures. I have a little knowledge about their nature given my old... erm... business with some of them... I think this idea is as good as any. Severus, you still haven't come up with any miraculous potion, so why not check if this blue rose is real?"

"I have too much on my mind these past couple of months... My wife was about to give birth, Harry kept inventing stupid ways of going after Draco..." At that mention, Harry made a face. Severus went on indifferently, "and there were many errands and difficult tasks that had to be done immediately for the Order's sake. I'm only human, no matter how much you might think otherwise, Lucius."

Lucius just shrugged and then said, "Can you blame me for trusting your skills?"

"He is human then? I thought he was a Vampire," Ron muttered to himself a little too loudly. Hermione elbowed him hard as Severus stared at Ron grimly.

"What did you say?" Severus asked in a grunt.

"N-nothing..." Ron said with his head down and his face crimson.

Lucius and James chuckled. "Why, Severus, you can't blame him for thinking that way," Lucius mocked. "After all, you do live quite reclusively and you are so pale that it's scary." Severus grumbled something impolite, but Lucius ignored him. "Since you do look like a Vampire, it's only fair that you'd join me in my trip to Transylvania. I know Cassandra. She'll like you."

James frowned at that. "You're only going with _Snape_?"

"Why, yes, Potter. We are both Slytherins. We know how to deal with Vampires better than anyone else," Lucius said matter-of-factly.

James frowned even more. "Just the two of you... In that sinful land... Tell me, how well do you know this Cassandra?"

"A little," Lucius said vaguely, waving his hands and avoiding James' eyes.

"Just a little?" James asked suspiciously. Lucius just shrugged, and if James hadn't caught a glimpse of the lie in Lucius' eyes, he would have believed him. "I'm going, too," James said decisively. He would be doomed if he let Lucius go alone to Transylvania. Everybody knew that Vampires were famous seducers, and a man like Lucius – with long blond hair – was the perfect image of their favourite prey.

"No, you aren't!" Lucius exclaimed, annoyed. He didn't want James to be seduced by anyone. James was too tempting, and he had a thing for the dark side. He would be easy prey.

"Yes, I am," James stated.

"Hey, I'm going too!" Harry exclaimed.

"I want to go too!" Hermione said. "I was the one who had the idea in the first place."

"I don't want to go," Ron declared, ignoring Hermione's disappointed face.

"Me either," said Severus, looking at Lucius. "Why don't you take Potter and go just the two of you? It would be like a honeymoon," he sneered.

"But it wouldn't be the same without you," Lucius smirked.

"I can't go. I have enough to do here," Severus said, trying to put an end to their discussion. "I have a new-born son. I need to be here for Erin."

"But Severus, we know our way into Transylvania better than anyone else," Lucius said, trying to convince him. "It will be quicker if we go together. We can combine our power of persuasion."

"Count me in, Lucius," James barged in. "I won't be left behind."

"You'll slow us down, Potter," Lucius said, upset.

"I won't!" James denied.

"You'll be easily seduced!" Lucius exclaimed, forgetting where they were and exposing his jealousy.

James crossed his arms and frowned. "I'm not that easy! Don't you trust me?"

It was said that only those truly in love could resist a Vampire's seduction. To doubt that James wouldn't be able to resist it was the same as doubting his love. James felt extremely offended.

"The only reason you want to come is because you don't trust me!" Lucius retorted, annoyed. "And I can guarantee you that I can resist them just fine."

"Well, so can I!" James replied.

Severus sighed, irritated. He knew he wouldn't escape the stupid mission, no matter how much he tried. Erin would definitely make him go. Besides, if the blue rose really existed, than they had a real chance of breaking the spell on Draco. So he might as well just begin the preparations for the trip instead of losing time with a lovers' quarrel that was none of his business. Ignoring the fussing around, he left the room quietly before Lucius could stop him.

Ron turned to Hermione and whispered in her ear, "Hermione am I understanding things right? Are Harry's father and Malfoy... erm... I mean, are they...?"

"Lovers?" she finished for him.

Ron shivered. "Yeah."

"I guess," she answered.

"Eww!" he muttered in a disgusted face. "What's wrong with Harry's family? Why do they have to fall in love with evil types?"

Hermione smiled softly and shrugged. She couldn't tell Ron that she understood perfectly well why they had fallen for the Malfoy men. Draco and Lucius were terribly charming and devilishly handsome. There wasn't a girl in Hogwarts that found Draco unattractive. Draco was first on the top list of the hottest guys in school. Besides, underneath their coldness was a beautiful heart.

"Ok, Potter! You can go!" Lucius exclaimed finally. "But you had better watch your back, because I won't keep babysitting you!"

"I don't need you to baby-sit me!" James complained. "I can take care of myself."

"What about me? I want to go, too! I deserve to go. After all, I presented the idea to you. Besides, this is about Draco! I want to be a part in it," said Harry, looking at Lucius with determination.

Lucius cursed under his breath. "Like father, like son... You'll stay here," he ordered Harry, and before the younger one could protest, he went on, "Draco is _here_. Somebody needs to keep an eye on him; otherwise he will go back to Voldemort the first chance he gets. I'm asking you to take care of him. What do you say?"

Harry felt like bashing Lucius' head on the wall. That was a low blow. Lucius knew Harry wouldn't deny such a request. Of course he would stay and keep a close watch on Draco.

"You're... you're such a..." Harry began, upset.

Lucius made a face. "Just say yes or no."

"Yes, I'll stay with him," Harry muttered. "But that was low!"

"Did you expect anything different from me?" Lucius asked with a frown.

"No..."

"That place isn't for kids, Harry," Lucius said. "Although part of Transylvania is very respectful, like your clever Muggle-born friend said, another part is quite... well... not so reverential. To arrive in Cassandra's castle you have to travel a road full of danger. No matter how much you love Draco, I don't think you're ready to face such challenges. By asking you to stay I'm also protecting you."

James, Harry, Ron and Hermione stared at Lucius with their mouths open. They didn't expect Lucius to say anything like that, ever. It was another piece of proof that Lucius was slowly smoothing his rough edges. James hid a smile behind his hands.

Lucius stared at them, annoyed, and asked, "What? Did I say something wrong?"

James shook his head. "On the contrary. We are just... a little shocked."

Lucius shrugged. "There's no one better to keep an eye on my son than Harry."

"I agree," said James.

"Just don't get too close to Draco," Lucius warned. "He might bite you."

Harry smiled mysteriously. "I know."

"All right, then. Let's go, Potter," Lucius said, making a gesture for James to follow him. "We have a lot to do. Since you're stubborn enough to join me, you need to learn a few things about Vampires... And I still need to go nag Severus to come along."

"I know how to defend myself, Lucius!" James complained.

"Do you? Can you resist their seduction, Potter? Because after last night, I seriously doubt it. You have a kinky side, you know? You might enjoy their games..." Lucius pointed out as they walked away.

Harry shouted, "I said it before! I don't want to hear these things!"

James flushed violently and Lucius smirked. After they were gone, Hermione stared at Harry and asked, "Are you really going to stay?"

Harry sighed dejectedly. "Yes, I think so. Malfoy is right. Draco is here, but sooner or later he will try to escape. He's confused now, but once he makes up his mind, no one will be able to stop him from leaving. I have to stay. Besides, he felt something when I kissed him. He isn't just the bastard he wants us to believe he is."

"Ok, now _I_ don't want to hear these things, Harry," Ron said, making a face.

"It's too bad, though..." Hermione said a little gloomy. "I was looking forward to meeting Cassandra." 

"I'm sure there will be other opportunities," Harry said to comfort her.

She smiled. "It's true! We can go for our honeymoon, Ron!"

Ron looked at her in awe, not just for the creepy suggestion, but also because she had implied the word _marriage_ in her sentence. "Are you insane?"

Hermione and Harry chuckled.

In another part of the castle, Blaise received an unexpected guest.

TBC…

For more information about the Gardens of Babylon, click on: http/ce.eng.


	21. Love Reconstructed

Disclaimer: No, the characters do not belong to me. The plot in this story is mine, though.

Applauses to: Jade, C. Dumbledore, Alice and Charisse, for their wonderful beta-reader work! Thank you all for your support!

Chap. 21 – **Love Reconstructed **

Blaise slammed the door to the Slytherin boys' dorm and threw himself onto a bed in frustration. He was being pressured to talk by everyone around him, but he still refused to do so. He didn't feel ready yet. He wanted some time to organise his thoughts and priorities first. Not surprisingly, almost no one understood his need for space. The only one really supporting him was Dumbledore. Harry seemed to have cooled down too, and wasn't nagging him about Draco anymore. In fact, Harry's mind seemed to be somewhere else, which intrigued Blaise. The rest of the Order seemed to think Blaise had an obligation to them. But Blaise remained aloof from everyone's coercion and stares of mistrust.

His head was filled with thoughts of Seamus. After making sure that his mother really was ok, Seamus was the only thing occupying Blaise's mind. Blaise had vanished without a word, and he could only imagine the kind of impression he had left on Seamus. He should have asked Harry about his boyfriend, but it wasn't in his nature to do so. He would rather sulk and imagine the worst scenario possible than show weakness in front of others.

Blaise doubted that Harry had told Seamus about his real mission. Harry had probably been too hurt over Draco's supposed betrayal to care about clearing Blaise's name. Blaise had preferred it that way, but he wasn't so sure now if it was a good idea to have left Seamus in the dark about his whereabouts and errands. Seamus might never give him another chance. His boyfriend had never truly believed that Blaise didn't love Draco – not that Blaise had ever persuaded him otherwise. By leaving with Draco, Blaise had dug his own grave.

He sighed, then tossed and turned on his bed. He considered writing a letter to Seamus, but didn't know where to begin. He wasn't good at apologising. He was at a loss as to how he would win Seamus back.

Blaise jumped slightly and frowned as he heard a knock on his door. No one needed entrance to the Slytherin dorms since the students would only be back after New Year's Eve. Draco had been put under surveillance in another wing of the castle where Dumbledore himself could keep an eye on him. The only one who could be knocking was Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin. The thought of having Professor Snape in his chambers didn't please Blaise. The Professor had probably come to pressure him into more talking.

"Don't they ever learn? I want to be alone!" Blaise exclaimed, and his voice sounded strangely strangled in the empty room.

He stared at his own red eyes in the mirror. Perhaps he was more stressed out than he had thought. He hoped he wouldn't burst into tears all of a sudden, because that would be most humiliating for a cold lad like him.

The person knocked again, and then the soft voice of Seamus was heard. "Blaise, are you there?"

Blaise's heart stopped. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He swallowed a couple of times, and took a deep breath.

He knew Seamus would leave if he didn't show his face soon. He wondered, idly, how Seamus had managed to enter the Slytherin common room.

"Blaise?" he heard Seamus calling again and his heart constricted.

Blaise moved towards the door and twisted the knob determinedly.

They didn't dare to say a word to each other at first. They couldn't take their eyes away from each other. In Blaise's eyes, Seamus had never looked so handsome and refreshed, which, actually, made him a little upset. He was hoping to find Seamus devastated in his absence, but that didn't seem to be the case.

In Seamus' eyes, Blaise seemed to have lost all traces of his boyish looks and was now a full grown man. He was enchanted by this new image of Blaise. It was like seeing Blaise for the first time, falling in love for the first time. He looked harder, and by default sexier. Seamus' fingers twitched as he almost stretched his hands out to Blaise, but he controlled himself.

"You're frowning," was Seamus' only remark.

His words only made Blaise frown more. "Really?" After so many days apart, Seamus' opening sentence seemed very stupid. Blaise was expecting Seamus to yell and be like his usual passionate self. He was surprised to see Seamus holding back. "Why are you just standing there?" Blaise asked.

"I'm waiting for you to invite me in," Seamus said.

"That isn't like you," Blaise muttered. He gestured for Seamus to come in and then closed the door behind them.

Seamus quietly sat on the bed, linked his fingers together and then looked down. Blaise found his behaviour quite odd.

"You're scaring me," Blaise blurted suddenly.

"I can't tell at all," Seamus sneered back, which also was highly unusual of him.

Blaise grunted. "What are you doing here? How did you know I was here? Was it Potter?"

Seamus sneered again. "Yeah, it's so lovely to see you, too. I'm all right, in case you're wondering. And no, I didn't bloody miss you at all!" Now that his previous shock had passed, Seamus was letting his anger overtake him. He stood up with his fists clenched and his face red.

Blaise was rejoiced by the sudden transformation. Seamus was acting more like the person he had fallen in love with and not like some stranger he had just met.

"Who told you I was here?" Blaise asked, composed. He knew that his aloofness would set Seamus on fire even more. He wasn't mistaken.

"You… you're such a bastard!" Seamus shouted.

"Was it Potter?" asked Blaise again. He might not have been showing anything on his face about what he really felt, but deep down he was very happy to have Seamus in front of him.

"No, it wasn't Harry. Well, sort of. Hermione sent me a letter telling me that you were here and she told me that Harry wanted me to know. What does it matter anyway?"

"You came quickly," Blaise pointed out.

"You know my family's house is not that far away." Seamus held his chin high.

"But still… you came. You must have missed me," Blaise said with a smirk.

"No, I just came to personally kick your ass!" Seamus exclaimed furiously. "I hated you a lot when you were gone. I couldn't understand why you would have left me that way. I kept thinking that I'd done something wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Blaise said seriously this time.

"But the way you left... It was so sudden. You had promised me that you wouldn't join You-Know-Who, and that was exactly what you did. Do you have any idea how I feel? I feel betrayed. And it's even more horrible to know you left me to be with Draco!" Seamus accused. "You broke your promises to me. You made me feel miserable."

Blaise bit his lower lip and he tried to control the anger in his voice when he said, "I didn't have a choice. Draco needed someone to go with him, who wouldn't raise suspicion. I was that person. You know I'm perfect for that. I know how to hide my emotions very well."

"Oh, I'm very aware of that," Seamus said bitterly.

"I went because I thought I could make a difference. I thought I was protecting you!"

"Oh, don't give me this bullshit!" Seamus exclaimed, upset by Blaise's excuse. "You didn't do it for me! I wanted to you to stay! You went because of Draco!"

"I went because Draco needed me to look for his cure, and the Order needed me to spy for them. Draco only convinced me to go when he reminded me that one of your parents is a Muggle. You aren't a Pureblood. I thought that I was doing something good by spying for the Order. For the first time in my life, I felt needed. I felt like I had a place in the world. I... I also did it to help Draco. I won't lie to you," Blaise said, surprisingly honest. "But I don't love him that way. This whole experience showed there's only one person in my heart. And I came back because of him."

Seamus' expression softened, and he remembered Harry's words when they were comforting each other. Harry had told Seamus that Draco and Blaise had left to be heroes; to protect their loved ones. He could see for himself now that it was true. Blaise wasn't lying to him. He could see Blaise's sincerity in his eyes. His heart melted and his lips trembled. Without his anger to protect his heart, all that was left was that unbearable pain and the need to cry. He had missed Blaise a lot.

"Who is this person?" Seamus asked in a whisper.

Blaise made a face, but he answered softly, "Idiot! It's you."

Seamus finally allowed his passionate nature to take over. He threw his arms around Blaise and hugged him tightly. Seamus couldn't believe his lover was actually safe and standing in front of him. He was glad that nothing bad had happened to Blaise. He had been so afraid for him.

When Blaise felt Seamus' warmth again, he felt as if he could cry. He was in bliss, but being a Slytherin, he held himself in check. He breathed Seamus' scent deeply and was inebriated by it. It was thanks to his sweet memories of Seamus that Blaise had been able to keep his sanity in the Black Fortress. He cupped Seamus' face in his hands and wiped away the tears.

"Don't cry, stupid," Blaise said gently.

"Don't call me stupid," Seamus replied, pouting. "I'm still mad at you, but I love you too much not to forgive you. I'm glad you're ok. I'm so glad you came back to me."

Blaise thought his heart would burst with happiness. Seamus still loved him. It was the best news he had received in a long time. It was that love that made him say, "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you write me right away and let me know you were here?" Seamus asked. "Were you planning to tell me at all?"

Blaise sighed. "I was, but... I didn't know what to say. I'm not good at this. I thought you were really angry, and I was afraid that you had moved on and left me behind."

"I tried to forget you. But no matter how furious I was with you, I just couldn't. You were always in my thoughts," Seamus confessed.

"I'm glad Granger sent you that letter telling you I was in Hogwarts. My letter would have taken a while to get to you."

"I know." Seamus stared deeply into Blaise's eyes and then kissed him. It was a sweet, gentle kiss to welcome him back. Blaise almost melted. "Are you planning to stay? Please, tell me you're staying. I don't want you to go back to that place."

"Well, I don't plan to go back soon. In fact, I don't want to go back at all. That place is hell." Blaise stroked Seamus' hands tenderly. "My feelings for you kept me sane. And in the end, I don't even know if I did the right thing by going with Draco. I thought I could make a difference. I thought I was being helpful. But in the end, I'm not sure if my efforts were enough. I couldn't find Draco's cure. I don't even know how to lead the Order to the Black Fortress."

"Don't think like that. For me, you're already a hero just for trying. Besides, I doubt your efforts were in vain. I'm sure you helped a lot. Dumbledore will surely tell you this. You were very brave," Seamus said. His comforting words made Blaise's heart feel lighter. "But the next time you try something that dangerous, please let me know."

"I thought I was protecting you by not saying anything," said Blaise.

"I know. Hermione told me."

Blaise frowned. "How did she know? And if she told you, why are you still angry?"

"I wanted to hear the words from your own mouth," Seamus stated. "I wanted you to apologise."

"You're mean..."

"Oh, look who's talking!"

"I love you, though," confessed Blaise heartily, taking Seamus by surprise.

"Me too," Seamus said with tears in his eyes. "No more secrets, Blaise. And let's mean it this time!"

Blaise smiled. "Ok. I'll try to be as honest as possible," he teased, bringing Seamus closer for another kiss. "Seam..." he whispered. "I really missed you. I... never want to let go of you. Can you really forgive me?"

Seamus smiled. "Yes. How can I not forgive you when you tell me such sweet things?"

They held each other for a long time before finding their way to Blaise's bed. As they lay down together and snuggled, Blaise felt at peace with the world and himself. Seamus made him a better person. His love had saved his soul. He shut his eyes tightly so as not to cry, because it wouldn't look good if it did. Seamus was indeed a wonderful person for giving their love another chance.

Four days later Remus was discharged from the Hospital Wing. His body was fully healed, but his spirit would never be the same. He blamed himself for failing with Alex. He could barely look into Erin's eyes when she received the news that her brother was dead and there wasn't a way to recover his body so they could hold a proper funeral. His heart had cried with her as he had watched her silent tears falling.

Remus had been avoiding everyone. He didn't feel like hearing news from the Order or talking to his friends. He spent most of his time alone, trying to look for some meaning in his life but finding none. He desperately prayed for some peace of mind, but his suffering wouldn't let him rest.

The only reason he hadn't abandoned everything yet was Harry. He was very attached to Harry and he wanted to be strong again to keep fighting for him. But at the moment, Remus didn't feel he was the best man for the job. And he was seriously thinking of quitting because, perhaps, Harry was better off without his help.

If he was being honest with himself he wasn't good with people. Alex and he had shared something special. Alex had truly understood Remus' feelings, because he had been a Werewolf, too, and therefore knew the pains and sufferings of being an outsider very well. But Alex wasn't there anymore.

The fact that Sirius wasn't angry with him should have made him feel at ease, but every time they met, Remus was reminded of his own clumsiness and unhappiness. Sirius had been acting strangely, and Remus suspected that his sudden attentions were caused by pity; they couldn't mean anything other than that.

Remus didn't want anyone's pity, so Sirius' constant care was getting on his nerves. If only Sirius loved him... But Remus had come to the conclusion that it would never happen, and it was better that way. Sirius belonged with Narcissa, not with a screwed up guy like him. Love just wasn't for him.

He sighed miserably, and was about to enter his room and hide underneath his covers when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He flinched and then turned around to meet Erin. Remus felt a pang in his heart at the sight of her.

"Do you have a minute?" she asked.

He nodded, unable to say anything else, and led her in. After closing the door, they sat down on a couch near the fireplace and stared at each other. Remus was the first to look away. He still couldn't face her properly. Erin's sharp eyes were piercing through his heart.

Erin coughed a little, and then she began, "I've been looking for you everywhere. Sirius is really worried about you. He seems to have the impression that you're avoiding him. I told him to stop being silly because there was nothing personal in your attitude. You've been avoiding _everyone_. I know that you feel like being alone, and I think you'll be glad to know that I can't stay for too long – I left Theo with Severus and he always panics when I'm not around... But... I wanted you to know that if you want someone to talk to, you can come to me."

She smiled softly at him, which only made his guilt increase.

"You don't have to suffer alone, you know? You have good friends ready to lend their shoulders to you," she said.

"I'm really sorry, Erin," Remus said dejectedly without really listening to her. "I'm sorry about Alex."

"Well..." she smiled feebly. "I can't say that I knew him. Not anymore. We stayed apart for a long time. But I'm sad that I lost him once more. We didn't have much time to know each other again... And I also feel sorry for him because I know he loved you and he really blew it... You don't have to excuse him just because he's dead. He was wrong about trusting Voldemort. But his death redeemed him in a way. He saved you. He did a very noble thing in the end."

Erin left out the fact that she didn't feel that Alex was really dead. Something in her heart was telling her otherwise. But since she wasn't certain about it, it wouldn't be right to tell anyone. She didn't want to create false hope, because there was a sweet, broken man in front of her who needed to mend. The wrong words could make matters worse. She couldn't stand the deep sadness in Remus' eyes. She didn't want to make him feel gloomier.

"You don't blame yourself anymore, do you?" she asked. "Whatever Alex did with his life, it was up to him, not you. He made his own choices and–"

"It isn't that," Remus cut her off rudely and regretted it almost instantly. "I don't really feel like talking, Erin. I'm sorry. You're right. I just want to be alone."

It happened very quickly. She caught a glimpse of anger mixed with sorrow in his eyes, and then she understood what it was _really_ about. He wasn't feeling guilty exactly. Perhaps he hadn't even noticed what was really bothering him and making him so sad. She shook her head and sighed deeply.

"I get it now," she stated. He glanced at her curiously, but soon looked away. "You're a bright man. Of course you know his death isn't your fault. That's not what's bothering you. Do you know why you still feel guilty?" Remus shook his head and Erin went on as delicately as possible, "You feel guilty because you're angry with him. If Alex was here, you'd be delighted to punch him."

Remus opened his eyes widely. He wanted to protest it, but he couldn't find the right words. He just listened to the rest of her speech, horrified but fascinated at the same time.

She smiled. "What? Isn't it true? What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I want to kick his ass, too. He betrayed me. I gave Dumbledore my word that he wasn't a bad person, but look what he did. I'm very angry with Alex, and this feeling won't disappear right away just because he's dead. On the contrary, it kind of gives you the feeling that things were left unfinished.

"But that isn't all, is it?" she kept going. "You're angry with the world because you want to be loved. You want someone who will not only die for you but also _live_ for you. You feel that if Alex really loved you he wouldn't have joined Voldemort in the first place, and none of this tragedy would have happened. If only he would have stayed here instead of dragging you along with him to that horrible place."

She had hit a nerve. Remus felt her words hurting him deeply, making him rather uncomfortable. He stood up and began to pace around the room nervously. "Shouldn't you be with your baby? You said you wouldn't take long, right? I thought you were still recovering from your labour. I heard it was quite difficult. You should be resting." He wanted her out. He felt ashamed of his feelings, ashamed that after such horrible events he could only think about himself and his unhappy life.

She leaned her chin on her hand and her elbow on the arm of the couch, and looked at him thoughtfully. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. You should punch a pillow or something. It would do you good."

"Erin..."

"What?" she blinked. "Am I wrong? Isn't that why you're so upset? Alex let you down, and so did Sirius. You have the right to be upset, and that's what I'm trying to make you realise. Be angry with me too. I don't care. You need to cry your heart out. But don't give up on love, Remus. Never give up on love. It took me a while to convince Severus that he could be loved, too. But here we are now. We even have a baby! Love doesn't always happen the way we want to or dream of, but... it's there somewhere. There _is_ someone dying to comfort you, if you'd just let him. He's a bastard, but he's willing to redeem himself."

Remus frowned with his arms crossed in a defensive position. "Whom are you talking about?"

"Why, Remus, I'm talking about Sirius, that stupid dog!" she exclaimed with a grin. "He isn't exactly what you would call Prince Charming, but he does love you."

Remus shook his head in disbelief, and then sneered. "You don't know what you're talking about. Trust me; Sirius doesn't feel that way about me. He made that very clear. Besides, he's with Narcissa."

"I heard through the grapevine that he and Narcissa broke up," Erin said matter-of-factly.

Remus' heart almost stopped. She shouldn't play with him like that. It was too cruel. He hadn't heard anything about it. But then again, he had been too busy running away from everyone. He remembered vaguely when Sirius had tried to tell him something, but Remus had purposely avoided him.

"Are you serious?" he asked, trying to detain his anxiety.

Erin smiled and replied, "Yes. Why would I lie to you?"

"Just to try to cheer me up?" he suggested.

"I _am_ trying to cheer you up, but I wouldn't tell a lie to do so. I don't know what happened between you two; all I know is that Sirius does look regretful. You know he's stubborn and block-headed by nature, but give him another chance. He's been walking around looking like a little lost puppy. It's really pitiful. I almost want to take him to my room," she said playfully. "Severus wouldn't like it, though..."

Remus smiled for the first time in days. He was feeling conflicted about the whole thing, but Erin's way of conducting things put him at ease. She was the kind of person who could totally disarm a man. Remus was torn between remaining miserable or going after Sirius and taking his chance on happiness. His heart was pumping hard in his chest. If Sirius really loved him, he couldn't understand why he still hadn't said anything to him. Then again, Remus hadn't been paying much attention to him. He did remember Sirius telling him that he loved him. It was just that, at the time, Remus thought it meant it as a friend. The thought of Sirius actually loving him made him feel dizzy and breathless.

"I have to go now," Erin said, seeing the light dawning in Remus' eyes and taking her leave. "I have to see how Severus is doing. He's been very cranky these days... All because I told him to go to Romania with Lucius and James... Honestly, how many wives are as nice as I am? A free trip with friends to such a cool place and no wife around... I _am_ too nice..."

Remus frowned. "What are you talking about?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you didn't know? They're planning to go to Romania to search for the blue rose."

"_The blue rose_?" Remus was stunned. "But why? The blue rose is nothing but a legend."

"Maybe. But there are indications that the Vampires might have it. It doesn't hurt to go check it out. It might be a way to bring Draco's old personality back."

"Why wasn't I notified of this?" Remus asked.

Erin made a face. "My guess is that you were... You just weren't listening."

Remus sighed. She was probably right. James had tried to talk to him, but Remus had pushed him away. He suddenly realised that he didn't want to be left out of things concerning Harry and Draco. He had a glimpse of Harry's great love for the Malfoy boy and it had touched his heart. He wanted to help Harry in every way he could.

"Erin?" he called when she was at the door. She looked at him expectantly and then, with a smile he said, "Thank you. I might punch a pillow later."

She chuckled softly. "Good for you. But in addition to hitting a pillow, you should also talk to a certain love-sick dog..."

Remus nodded his head and his expression softened. "I will."

Draco felt like he was under house arrest. While he wasn't free to go wherever he felt like alone, at least he hadn't been put in some dirty cell with enormous rats. He also had wonderful meals, which made him think that Dumbledore and the Order weren't very familiar with the concept of imprisonment. Or perhaps that was their strategy: to kill a person with their excessive kindness.

Professor Snape had been chosen to _ward_ him, so Draco spent most of the time in the company of Severus and Theo. Draco was still shocked to find out that the grumpy Potions Master was not only married but also had a child. Professor Snape didn't look like the fatherly type at all, but he seemed to be pulling that off all right. Sometimes Draco felt a little jealous of that father-son interaction. Even though Snape was clumsy and moody, Draco could see in his eyes his love for little Theo.

Draco watched quietly as Snape rocked Theo in his arms until the kid fell asleep. He was stunned to see Snape's expression soften. He was even amazed that Severus didn't mind showing his softer side in front of Draco.

"What?" Severus snarled as he felt Draco's eyes upon him.

Draco shrugged. "Do you have any idea how odd it is to watch you taking care of a child?"

Severus made a face. "I know." He carefully put Theo in his cradle and almost let out an exclamation of delight as Theo began to suck his thumb. Instead of melting into a puddle, he crossed his arms and frowned to avoid grinning like an idiot. Severus needed to watch himself. He needed not become too soft. Just yesterday he had almost joined Erin in her excitement as she showed around pictures of Theo making faces. It would be mortifying for a man like him to go parading his son around proudly; as if Theo was some sort of prize. The kid _was_ excessively cute, though, and Severus wasn't the only one who thought that.

"Do you trust me with him?" Draco asked. "I'm a Death Eater so I might harm him when you aren't looking."

Severus shot him a sharp look. "I wouldn't be so stupid as to leave anyone alone with my child, least of all you. But I trust you. Even though you don't remember a lot of things, in essence you're still you. You're a miniature version of what your father was like when he first joined Voldemort. Maybe you're a little braver than Lucius ever was, but Lucius was only interested in power and fortune, not in slaughtering people. You wouldn't harm my son. But try anything, and you're dead," Severus warned Draco quite seriously.

Draco made a face. "You lot really are getting on my nerves. I _am_ vicious. In spite of this fairytale you told me about losing my memories and feelings for a certain air-head, I'm still in control of my life and I do as I please!"

"Well, of course," Severus smirked. "You're a Slytherin. You are a lot sassier, Draco, but I don't believe that your heart has turned evil. Well, not _completely_. I bet Voldemort expected to control you easily, and I'm sure you gave him that impression, but you still have your own consciousness. You're nobody's puppet."

"I'm certainly _not_!" Draco stated snottily.

Severus hid a smile. "Exactly. Now I know why Potter has been calmer these days. He already talked to you, didn't he?"

"WHAT? Why do you think that?" asked a disturbed Draco. "What does Potter have to do with anything?"

Theo made a sound at the raised voice and Severus scowled at Draco and dragged him to his office.

They stared at each other for a long time until Severus sighed, annoyance showing in his eyes. He hated to be the one to watch Draco. Severus had to admit that Voldemort had done a good job at turning the boy into an obnoxious brat. Draco's new personality was quite annoying. He was very demanding and bossy, and he seemed to think that the world revolved around him. Draco was a typical Malfoy now: one that Lucius would have been very proud off if his love for James hadn't changed him.

The kid was quite stubborn, too. Draco refused to believe that he had lost his memories and that he was being controlled by Voldemort's potion. Severus couldn't blame him. Draco didn't look sick anymore, and he certainly didn't look like he was being controlled. Severus could only imagine that the potion had turned out the wrong way and he wondered if Voldemort was aware of that fact. Draco still had a mind of his own. It made it even harder to try to find a healing potion for him. Severus had already made Draco drink three different healing potions, but none had worked out. It was quite exasperating because Severus would be forced to join Lucius and James – the sickening couple – to their trip to Romania.

"Sir?" called Draco. Severus grunted something and Draco said, "You know, sir, I do think of you as a traitor," Draco began. "And I can't understand why you joined Dumbledore instead of Lord Voldemort, but..."

"Can't you?" Severus interrupted with a sneer.

"But," Draco went on as if he hadn't heard anything. "I still admire and respect you. So it's very difficult for me to hear you sometimes talk about Potter in such a fond way."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "When do I talk about the brat fondly?"

Draco crossed his legs and tapped his right foot on the floor. "Please... It's pretty obvious that you have developed... _feelings_... for Potter..." Draco said with apparent disgust.

Severus was torn between laughing like a maniac and hexing Draco into oblivion. "I do not have _feelings_ for Potter, for crying out loud! I might have become a _little_ soft on him… But let there be no mistake, Draco. I still bug him every chance I get. That much hasn't changed. Potter still gets on my nerves on daily basis."

"I don't understand anything anymore," Draco said, frustrated. His eyes stared into space thoughtfully. "It's hard to believe I'm just a toy in Lord Voldemort's hands. I have a brilliant future with him. They told me Potter was responsible for making me lose my memory. I do hate Potter so much that it has become an obsession. There's this voice in my head telling me constantly to destroy him. But at the same time..." Draco stopped abruptly, embarrassed that he had let his tongue slip so much. No matter how much he esteemed Severus, he had to remember that Severus was his enemy, not his friend.

Severus picked up some papers off his desk and without looking up he said, "It's the potion talking, not you. Although I never approved of your relationship with the brat... And I still don't see what made you fall for him..."

"Yes! It's absurd! I would never let myself be involved with a dull person like Potter!" Draco exclaimed.

"Even so," Severus went on, settling his papers in order and then looking at Draco. "I got used to both of you being... together. I know it's hard on you, because now you're completely taken by the things Voldemort promised you – and I _know_ how great those things can be, believe me. But forget everything for a moment. Try shutting down your brain for a few seconds and listen to your heart's desire. What does your heart tells you?"

Draco moved around uncomfortably and then he sneered. "You mean... _Right now_? My heart tells me this is all bullshit. How can I take any of this seriously?"

"And yet you're here, acting the perfect gentleman, even though you could hex me without your wand. You can escape any time you want, because quite frankly we aren't treating you like a real prisoner. But you're still here. Now, why is that?" Severus asked, his eyes piercing through Draco like they were able to read his soul.

Draco stood up to pace around and calm his pounding heart. He didn't have an answer, and he didn't feel like he needed to have one. But if he didn't say anything, Severus would think he had hit the right spot, which wasn't the case. Draco had only stayed because he wanted to observe them. He wanted to study the enemy from the inside so he would have something to tell Voldemort when he got back.

Draco leaned his back on the wall and crossed his arms. He tapped his foot on the floor unconsciously, indicating clearly that he was upset. Severus _had_ hit a nerve. No matter what Draco told himself, it _was_ because of _Potter_ that he had stayed without putting up a fight. Because that _thing_ between them was driving him crazy and keeping him awake at night.

But Draco had to reply, otherwise Severus would be left with the wrong impression about his true feelings. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Erin's arrival.

Draco was always disturbed around her. He couldn't remember her at all, but there was something about the way she looked at him that made him quite uncomfortable. Every time they met Draco felt that she wanted to say something to him, but instead she only stared at him. She was pretty and young, and he couldn't understand why a girl like her had married a grumpy person like Severus. Everything about her was a mystery. The most unsettling thing was that, even though Draco didn't know her, deep down it seemed like he did. And she _knew_.

"Hello, there," Erin said with a shining grin. "How's Theo?"

"Sleeping soundly, thanks to _me_," Severus said proudly, making her chuckle softly.

"That's good to know. Well, I'll go check on him just in case..." Severus was about to grunt, but she cut him off by adding, "Not that it's necessary, but I can't stay away from my baby for too long. And I'll make myself some tea. Want some?" she asked them.

"No, thank you," Draco and Severus answered in unison.

"Ok. I'll see you later," she said, winking at them and leaving the office.

Draco almost breathed out in relief as she made her exit. Once more he had escaped her disturbingly silent scrutiny. He looked at Severus, who seemed busy with some papers again. Draco bit his lower lip, and wondered if he should say anything. It seemed as if the moment for him to defend himself had passed, so whatever he said would sound out of place and suspicious. If he said something about Potter or what laid in his heart, Severus would know for sure that Draco was indeed questioning his heart about what felt real and what didn't.

"Something wrong, Draco?" Severus asked with a frown.

Draco started. He hadn't noticed Severus' eyes on him. He was about to answer when another person entered Severus' office quite hastily. Draco's heart beat quickly as he laid eyes on Harry Potter.

"Sir, Dumbledore is calling you. He says it's very urgent," Harry said, looking straight at Severus.

Harry didn't notice Draco's presence in the room, and the blonde didn't know why that fact bothered him. He cleared his throat before he could stop himself, and was happy to see that Harry's eyebrow went up in surprise as their eyes met.

"Draco..." Harry blurted, staring at him with his mouth slightly open. It didn't take long for Harry to recover from his shock and find his voice again. "I didn't know you were here."

Severus looked at both boys in front of him and frowned. He didn't think it was a good idea to leave them alone, but since Dumbledore had said it was urgent, he couldn't be delayed.

The boys couldn't take their eyes off each other. It was as if Severus had suddenly become invisible. Severus quickly exited from his office to search for Erin and ask her to keep an eye on them until he got back.

He found Erin in their son's bedroom, quietly sitting on the armchair, sipping her tea. She raised her eyebrows in suspicion as he approached her uneasily.

"I have to see Dumbledore right away, so I need you to watch Draco for me. _Potter_ is with him," Severus said. "You know what a disaster that could be, so don't leave them alone for too long."

Erin's sweet smile sent shivers down his spine.

"Erin, this isn't a joke. It anything happens to those boys..."

She waved her hand. "Oh, don't worry, Sev. Just go. I'll cover for you." He hesitated for a moment and she made a face. "I promise I won't let them kill each other. I don't really think they'll hurt each other, though... But I promise to keep my ears alert, and if I hear an explosion, I'll be sure to interfere."

"Erin..."

She rolled her eyes and stood up. "All right. I'll stay with them until you get back. Now go!"

Severus looked one last time at her and then left. When she was sure he was gone, she sat back in the armchair and sipped her tea again. "I'll just give them a few minutes alone..." she whispered to herself with a smile.

Draco and Harry barely noticed Severus leaving.

Harry felt conflicted.

It was nice having Draco alone to himself, but being with Draco somehow bothered him. He knew the Draco who loved him was still there. He had felt it in their kiss. But as he stared at Draco now, all he could see was a stranger, and that unsettled him.

A few days ago Harry was sure of himself and of their love for each other. He didn't know why he felt so insecure now. He was trying his best to help Draco. He wouldn't back out just because all of a sudden he felt unsure of himself.

The silence annoyed Harry, forcing him to find his voice again and ask, "How are you?"

Draco wrinkled his forehead and then sneered, "How _nice_ of you to ask. You haven't looked for me these past couple of days and yet you claim to be 'so in love with me'." Draco felt like bashing his head on the wall the moment the words left his mouth. He couldn't believe he had said something like that. It sounded like he cared, like he had missed Potter. He hadn't, of course.

A wide smile appeared on Harry's face, dazzling Draco for a moment. "Are you _complaining_? Am I hearing it right?" Harry asked playfully. Draco's words had the power to bring his confidence back. "Don't tell me that you missed me."

"Of course I didn't! Are you crazy?" Draco snorted. "I was being sarcastic, in case you didn't notice. Why would I miss _you_?"

"Because you can't forget our kiss," Harry suggested seductively.

Although Draco was shaken by the memory of their kiss, he just rolled his eyes and pretended not to care. "Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen. Perhaps you haven't looked for me anymore because you got scared."

Harry licked his lips and smiled. "And _again_ you berate me for not looking for you. You seem really worried about my reasons for ignoring you these couple of days, Draco. Now, why is that?"

Draco grunted. "You sure think highly of yourself, Potter! I'm most certainly not _berating_ you. I'm really glad you decided to ignore me. And stop calling me by my first name!" Harry's chuckle made Draco grumble even more. Draco didn't know the reasons why he always lost his cold demeanour when Harry was around. He also couldn't understand why his heartbeat quickened so much or why he felt his lips tingle as if they were waiting to be kissed. He did _not_ want to be kissed by Harry _ever again_.

"You haven't tried to escape," Harry pointed out. "Why?"

"That's none of your business," Draco mumbled, annoyed.

Harry hesitated a little, but then he walked towards Draco and stopped only inches away. Draco flinched almost imperceptibly, but didn't back down. It was a battle of wills. They just stared at each other for a long time. Every once in a while Harry's eyes would switch to Draco's lips, making the blond feel as if he would surrender first. If Draco leaned forward just a bit, their lips would seal in the sweetest way. But he couldn't do that or else he would be forever doomed.

Harry, on the other hand, wasn't feeling so conflicted. To learn forward was just the natural next step for him. Before their lips could meet, though, Draco asked, "What are you doing?"

Harry just shrugged. "I dunno." His unsteady breath made Draco shiver slightly.

"Well, whatever it is, don't," Draco said, but Harry could tell by the sparkle in his eyes that he was asking otherwise. He wanted Harry to be bold and defy him. Draco's body language was clearly inviting.

So, Harry took the next step without thinking anymore. He decided to take what was his and kiss that delightful rosy mouth that had been tempting him from the start. Draco struggled at first, but didn't put much effort into it. The blond opened his mouth enough to let Harry's tongue slip inside and melt him away.

Draco couldn't help thinking that whatever spell had been cast on him to make him destroy Potter wasn't enough to fight against Harry's powerful kiss. Harry's kiss proved itself to be a very interesting counter-spell; one that left Draco defenceless.

As Harry kissed down his jaw line, Draco thought he saw his silver ring glitter softly. He closed his eyes and tried to break free from Harry's spell, but it only made things worse. He willingly let his mouth be possessed again and again until they were both out of breath. When Harry's hands slid down to caress him more intimately, something snapped in Draco's head. He pushed the other boy away and slapped him hard on the face. Panting, they stared at each other.

Harry stroked his face softly. It hurt a little, but it was worth it. His smile made Draco grunt.

"What's so funny?" Draco asked, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall in a defensive posture. "Are you a masochist or something?"

"Aren't you going to ask me to leave?" Harry asked back.

Draco sighed, irritated. "Well, will you? I mean Snape isn't back yet. I suppose he left you to _guard_ me."

Harry chuckled. "That's precious. You're quite an obedient prisoner. You're the only one who accepts being guarded so well."

"Shut up. I..." Draco was at a loss of words and it terrified him. The truth was that he liked having Harry around. "I don't think it's funny to be played with."

Harry frowned. "I'm not playing with you. I'm trying to help you remember."

"What if I don't want to remember?"

Harry shook his head and stated, "I don't believe you. Look into your heart, Draco. You _know_ there's something between us and it scares you. It scares me, too, now more than ever because I have to win you over. The fact that you haven't kicked me out of here is proof enough for me. You may not remember our love, but you want me. You wanted me to kiss you."

"I did not!" Draco exclaimed, outraged. "I slapped you."

"Exactly! Do you think a simple slap can scare me away? If you had really wanted to repel me, you'd have cast a spell to knock me out."

Draco paced, too nervous to stand still. He turned his back to Harry and groaned. His heart was a mess. He wanted to push Harry away. There was a voice inside of him _demanding_ him to do so. But there was another part of him that wanted the opposite. He had never felt this kind of passion with anyone and wanted to taste more of it. Without Voldemort, it wouldn't be so wrong to surrender, if only for a little while. Draco told himself it would be an interesting way to pass the time, to learn more about Harry. He could even use that experience to familiarise himself with his enemy's weaknesses and report them to Voldemort when he returned to the Black Fortress. Yes. That was the _perfect_ excuse. It would prevent him from committing his heart. He would take what Harry had to offer and then throw it away when he became bored.

Draco turned around and smirked viciously. Harry frowned in suspicion. "What?" the brunette asked.

Draco shrugged and cocked his head charmingly. "Nothing."

Harry bit his lower lip at the sudden change of attitude. Draco didn't look defensive anymore. The silver-blue eyes looked darker and dangerous. Harry knew that look very well. Draco had just turned the game around and was now trying to play the seducer.

"Don't tell me..." Harry began, slightly amused.

Draco raised an eyebrow curiously. "What?"

"You're obviously tempted by me, so now your pretty twisted head has come up with a way to enjoy yourself free of guilt. You'll sleep with me and tell yourself that you're only doing it to figure out a way to destroy me later. Am I right?"

Silently, Draco cursed Harry for seeing right through him.

"I don't mind," Harry stated, surprising Draco. "Make whatever excuses you like, but I'd like you to be with me. I'm a big boy. I know how to take care of myself."

Draco sat down on a chair and then looked at Harry thoughtfully. "Let me get this straight. You don't mind that I'm out to get you." Harry shook his head and Draco sneered. "Well, I can't blame you. I am _that_ good in bed."

"It isn't just _sex_, Draco. It's a lot more than that."

Draco snorted. "Would you _stop_ calling me Draco? It's really annoying."

"Whatever! We promised each other that we would never give up on our feelings. I don't plan to give up on you, no matter how hopeless it seems sometimes. And if the only way to get close to you is to let you use me, so be it. I don't care. I'll use all the time we have together to try to make you fall in love with me again. I'll beat this stupid curse without the use of a healing potion. You will be mine again."

Harry's words were strong and Draco feared them. It seemed to him that Harry might not be so far off. But Lucius had taught him well. Draco knew how to protect his heart. He wouldn't fall in love with Harry simply because Malfoys didn't fall in love.

Draco sighed. "You're crazy, Potter. You're willing to risk your ass, _literally_, just for me."

"That's how much I love you."

Draco snorted again. "Don't say stupid things like that! Let's make a deal. You don't call me Draco. You don't sweet-talk me either. I don't want you telling me sappy things, either. Our deal will be skin-deep. It's only sex and nothing else."

Harry was taken aback for a moment. Draco also couldn't believe he was saying those things and risking so much for a few moments of pleasure.

"Admit that my kiss sets you on fire and then we have a deal," Harry said, making Draco gasp.

"I won't...!"

"Then there's nothing left to say."

Draco felt like strangling Harry. "Fuck you! I just made it clear that I only want to sleep with you! If I hadn't liked your kiss, would I do something as stupid as to sleep with the enemy?"

Harry smiled. He hadn't really considered not accepting the deal. He just wanted to piss Draco off and make him admit that he desired Harry as much as Harry desired him. Draco seemed to realise Harry's game a little too late, and he cursed Harry aloud.

Their deal was a gamble, and they both knew it. There was no way to predict the results of their actions. But one thing Harry knew for sure. He would play to win. "See you in your room tonight?"

Draco snorted, but nodded his assent. However, his heart skipped a beat as he raised his eyes to Harry's to seal the deal. Tonight would prove to be very interesting.

TBC…

A/N: Place your bets. Will Draco finally surrender to Harry? What about Remus and Sirius? Will they confess their feelings for each other? Please, review!


	22. Of Kisses and Goodbyes part 01

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: No, the characters do not belong to me. The plot in this story is mine, though.

Thanks a million to: Jade, Alice, C. Dumbledore and Charisse for their wonderful beta-reader work! And to all of you who review constantly, my deepest gratitude! I love you all!

Chap. 22 – **Of Kisses and Goodbyes (part 01)**

Harry slunk along the stone walls under his Invisibility cloak on his way to the dungeons. Though he wasn't afraid of getting caught, fooling the guards in front of Draco's chamber proved to be more complicated than Harry had warranted. He leaned against the opposite wall and tried to think of a way to enter the room without them noticing. He pondered about just appearing out of thin air to give them a good scare, but realised that it wouldn't be a very good idea. It was past Hogwarts' curfew. Harry would be in serious trouble for sure if he were to be seen.

Fifteen minutes passed and the guards gave no sign of relieving their post. Harry crossed his arms and sulked. Only a few steps away were the door. All he had to do was distract the Order members. The question was how. He knew them both and they weren't ordinary wizards. They were young and promising Aurors who had dropped out of their courses to assist the Order. In order to persuade them, Dumbledore had made them promise to be back in college in a year.

The one on the left was Peter Oldstream, a mere four years older than Harry. He was a short but well-built young man and had quite a temper. The one on the right was Sam Newman, an easy-going black man with a wide smile. While Sam gave off the false impression that he was too kind to harm anyone, he was actually top of his class and had the best aim.

Harry didn't want to give them a hard time, but the waiting was making him frustrated and moody. He was about to do something crazy to divert their attention when Dumbledore appeared at the end of the corridor and waved at the two men. The Headmaster walked towards them calmly, and then stopped a few inches away from Harry.

The young Gryffindor held his breath as Dumbledore's eyes fixed upon him. A long time ago, in Hagrid's hut with Ron, Harry had felt that Dumbledore had seen them through the Invisibility cloak. Although he had no idea how that had been possible, now that Dumbledore was gazing straight at him, Harry knew for sure Dumbledore had the amazing power to at least _sense_ his presence. Harry was even more certain when Dumbledore winked at his direction.

"Is everything all right, my boys?" Dumbledore asked, turning to the two Aurors.

Peter and Sam nodded. "The kid is quite polite. It's hard to believe he's a Death Eater," said Peter.

"And he looks so... delicate," added Sam.

"Oh, don't be mistaken by Mr. Malfoy's good manners and fragile appearance," Dumbledore said. "He can do wandless magic. Voldemort wouldn't keep Draco near him if the boy was anything but ruthless and cold-blooded when needed."

Peter frowned. "Then why isn't he trying to escape?"

Dumbledore took off his half-moon glasses carefully, cleaned them with a light blue handkerchief and then put them on again. "Indeed," Dumbledore answered finally. "That's a very interesting question."

"And why do we even need to watch him?" asked Sam. "It doesn't look like he's going anywhere. And, not only is he close to your personal chambers, but his door now has a password."

"Just a precaution, my boys," Dumbledore said, and then added with a warm smile, "One can never be too cautious. However, I understand your frustration, thus I'm giving you a break for two hours. There's a certain lady in the Great Hall requiring your attention."

The Auror's faces lit up. For quite some time they had been flirting with Miss Amanda Larson, a beautiful brunette whose talents went beyond magic. She was also very good at charming men. They looked at each other with distrust. While they were friends in College, they were rivals in love.

"Now, now. I'm sure Miss Larson has enough love for both of you," Dumbledore said, trying to appease them. "And for a few others, too," he muttered to himself. Harry heard it, though, and he muffled a chuckle. "Off you go, boys. I'll expect you back here in two hours."

Peter and Sam waved at Dumbledore and walked towards the stairs. When they were gone, Dumbledore said aloud without looking at Harry, "A lot of things can happen in two hours."

Harry sighed, not sure if he understood Dumbledore correctly. Did that mean he only had two hours to be with Draco? He took off his cloak to make himself visible, and said, "I need more than two hours."

Dumbledore turned to stare at him. "Harry... You were supposed to remain hidden. I shouldn't know of your presence."

"But you do know about it. You knew it all along," Harry stated.

"Indeed. It's hard to miss you. Your energy flows everywhere."

"So you didn't _see_ me?" Harry asked.

"No, that would be too much, even for me!" Dumbledore exclaimed, amused. "I could sense you, though."

"Oh." Harry couldn't understand how that was possible, but it was one more thing that made Dumbledore so amazing. No wonder Voldemort feared only him.

"Now, listen, Harry. If you feel like you need more than two hours with Draco, then make sure no one sees you. It would be hard to explain what you were doing in there. This is very important, so don't forget it. The password is 'Sunflower'. Good luck, and be careful. Draco is unstable. Always keep alert when you are near him. Your father would be very angry with me if he found out that I'm letting you do this."

"Why _are_ you letting me do this?" Harry asked curiously. "I thought you wouldn't let me see him."

Dumbledore smiled weakly. "I know you're suffering because of this. I know you don't understand why I let Draco be taken to Voldemort by Alexis. Let's just say that I'm weak when it comes to matters of the heart, and that I'm indebted to you. I can't explain to you why things have to be the way they are. I don't understand them myself sometimes. So, for now, just take your time with Draco. I believe in the power of love." Dumbledore winked at Harry and then walked away. "I also believe that it's already in progress."

Harry watched Dumbledore leave until he disappeared around a corner. Sometimes Dumbledore was worse than a centaur. His words made no sense at all. Harry shook his head, puzzled, then took a deep breath and stared at Draco's door.

Only a few more steps and he would be inside the room. Harry's worst and best quality was his bravery. He tended to act first and think later, which wasn't always a good thing. Being with Draco at this point in time wasn't the brightest idea. Like Dumbledore had pointed out, Draco was unstable so his reaction to Harry's presence was unpredictable. As far as Harry knew, he could be walking to his death. Draco had already tried to strangle him the first time they had met in that same room. There was no way of knowing if he wouldn't do it again.

Harry wavered just for a moment before whispering the password. He tried not to dwell on the consequences of what he was about to do. And even with his stomach in knots, he entered the room. The door closed behind him softly. The room was barely lit by candlelight. The weak light actually hurt his eyes. He wrinkled his forehead and scanned the room in search for Draco. There was no one on the bed. With his heart in his mouth, he walked quickly towards it, wondering if Draco had finally managed to escape.

But before he could panic, he spotted Draco sitting on a big, fluffy, red armchair close to the bed. Harry sighed, deeply relieved. It was only when he got nearer that he realised Draco was asleep.

The vision took Harry's breath away. In sleeping, Draco's face became soft and relaxed, resembling nothing of the cold-hearted person he was now. A lock of silver-blond hair covered his eyes like a silky veil. Harry's hands trembled with the desire to stroke it. The pink lips were slightly parted, almost as if they were waiting to be kissed. Harry felt his body reacting instantly, but he just stood there, unable to look away.

He ordered himself to move and slowly his steps progressed. He convinced himself that he would just take Draco in his arms, put him in bed and let the blond sleep peacefully. But as his body came in contact with Draco, he almost lost his resolve. He breathed in Draco's soft scent and bit his lower lip hard to suppress a moan when Draco cuddled against him.

Just a few more steps towards the bed and then Harry would be free from temptation. At least that was what he thought as he laid Draco in bed. But just before he could pull away, Draco's hand grabbed his robe and pulled him back.

Harry clumsily fell on top of Draco who slowly opened his eyes and gazed at him sleepily. Draco's eyes seemed very far away. Harry had the impression that the blond was probably still dreaming. In a minute or two, Draco would close his eyes again and go back to sleep. But that didn't happen. Instead, Draco stroked Harry's face with his fingertips. His touch was so tender that Harry thought he was imagining things. Time froze until the moment Draco's fingers enlaced around Harry's neck and brought him closer. Their lips met slowly, almost carefully. Harry forgot to breathe. And then they kissed.

All rational thought fled Harry's mind. He undressed himself quickly, but when it came to Draco's turn, he took the blonde's clothes off leisurely. When each piece of clothing was discarded and Draco was fully naked, Harry continued to kiss the exposed skin until Draco was squirming and pleading for more. He stroked Draco's cock and then took it in his mouth. Draco threw his head back in ecstasy. The cold tongue slid down the shaft, and farther into his body.

The sudden, strange invasion made Draco's eyes fly open and finally realise he wasn't dreaming. But by then it was too late. No matter how surprised he was to find Harry Potter licking his private parts, Draco couldn't find the strength to stop him. His body wouldn't let him even if he tried. He felt Harry's tongue being replaced by slick fingers that scissored inside of him. He moaned, hating how needy he felt and how desperate he looked. It was wrong to want something so much but it seemed so right.

The way Harry knew his body so well made Draco feel unsettled. The way his own body reacted in such a familiar way to Harry's touch, upset him even more. But not a word of protest came from Draco's lips; just embarrassing moans.

Harry thrust inside him gently. Draco didn't want him to be gentle. He wanted Harry to be rough, to slam him against the bed; to fuck him properly. But if he uttered those words, it would be too humiliating. So he didn't say anything.

The heat increased, and so did the rhythm. Harry's unsteady breath on Draco's neck made the ecstasy stronger. Draco lost his self-control as Harry hit his sweet spot, and he uttered the words he knew he would be ashamed of later.

"Fuck me harder," moaned Draco.

Harry's happy expression made Draco look away. But his wish was granted. The pleasure built up inside him until he couldn't hold it anymore. Draco jerked himself off until he came in short gasps. After a few seconds, Harry was hit by an equally intense orgasm.

Draco had barely recovered himself when he pushed Harry away and ran to the bathroom. There, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and almost choked. He didn't recognise the person in front of him. His eyes were more alive than ever, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen. There were red marks on his neck and down his body, and his fluids were all over his belly and down his thigh. He gasped, shocked, but also turned-on by how sexy he looked after the coupling.

He cleaned himself quickly, then slid to the cold white tile floor and hid his face in his hands. So this was what his true self looked like. This was how _Harry Potter_ could make him look. He embraced himself and breathed hard. He would not panic.

The door opened a few minutes later and Harry came in with a worried expression. A naked Harry Potter knelt down in front of him and asked, "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

Draco was speechless at first, but then he shouted heatedly, "Get out!"

"Not until you tell me if you're ok."

"I'm perfectly fine, Potter!"

"Then why are you sitting here shaking all over?" Harry asked, concern growing in his voice.

Draco wanted to deny it, but knew it was useless. He hadn't noticed until Harry mentioned it, but he _was_ shaking. He leaned his head on the wall and sighed. Then he picked himself up from the floor, caught two towels hanging in a hook near the shower and threw one to Harry.

Harry watched Draco wrap the towel around his waist and did the same thing. Then he waited. Draco was so unpredictable now. Harry didn't have a clue about his next move. Would he throw a tantrum? Would he go back to behaving coldly? Draco sat on the top of the toilet and Harry leaned his back on the wall. They stared at each other. Surprisingly, Draco was the first to look away.

"Draco?" Harry tried quietly.

Draco clenched his fists and glared. Hadn't he made it clear that he didn't want Harry calling him by his first name?

"Are you hurt?" Harry insisted.

Draco groaned. "No! Do I look like a girl to you? Of course I'm all right! Although..." Draco paused, not sure if he should say certain things. "Well... You attacked me! It was... m… my first..." Draco hated himself for stuttering. He swore.

Harry's eyes widened at the sudden realisation. Besides the shock of having sex with the enemy, Draco thought it was his first time. Harry bit his lower lip hard not to chuckle. If he smiled in any way, Draco would ask for his head on a silver platter.

"I'm sorry..." Harry said.

"It isn't funny, Potter!" Draco exclaimed, outraged.

"I'm not laughing!"

"Yes, you are! Maybe not with your lips, but surely with your eyes! You're finding my anger and confusion amusing!" Draco strode back into the room and sat on the bed. Harry followed him and chose to sit at the other corner of the bed to give Draco the space he needed.

"Look, I'm really sorry... I didn't consider… well, I had no idea..." Harry made a face. "It wasn't our first time!" he ended up blurting out.

Draco looked at him murderously. He knew deep down that it wasn't their first time, but he had no recollection of having sex with Harry in-person before, only in a dream. Dreams didn't count. He was shocked by the way he felt when Harry was inside him. He didn't know what to do with the side of him that he knew nothing about, but that Harry seemed to know so well. And he hated himself for showing just how upset he was in front of Harry.

"I'm sorry," Harry repeated with a sigh. "I couldn't help myself. When you kissed me... I just lost it. I thought... it was ok to be here. I thought I was invited."

More composed, Draco rolled his eyes. "Stop it. I don't want your apologies. I did invite you. I said before, I don't want you to treat me nicely. We aren't here to be polite. We're here to have sex."

Harry frowned. "Don't pretend that everything is normal. You acted like you were about to throw up!"

"Well, what did you expect? I'm not used to waking up with my enemy on top of me! And besides... I'm the _girl_, for Merlin's sake! I'm deeply upset with myself."

Harry stood up and walked towards Draco. "It isn't about being the girl! If I'd wanted a girl, a real one would be just fine!"

"Then why won't you have one?"

"Because I love you!" Harry declared heatedly.

Draco flinched. Harry's words cut deep. "Why would a smart guy like you bother with me? We are water and oil. There's no future for us. We can't be together. I'm your enemy and you're mine. One day I'll have to kill you."

Harry knelt down in front of Draco and stared deep into the silver-blue eyes. "That's what love is all about. The circumstances don't matter. It doesn't matter that you're my _enemy_. I just love you."

"Enough to fulfil my selfish needs?" Draco asked, a glimpse of power shining brightly in his eyes.

Harry sighed sadly. He shouldn't surrender so completely to Draco. Not _this_ Draco at least. Harry could get seriously hurt. Even so, he answered resolutely, "Enough to let you kill me."

Draco's breath got stuck in his throat for a moment. Harry was serious! He could see it in his eyes. Wouldn't the Dark Lord be thrilled to know that? Draco held _Harry Potter_ on a leash. That kind of power was intoxicating. Draco should have been exhilarated, but he wasn't. There was a voice inside him swearing at Harry for being so stupid, for handing himself over to someone who wanted to destroy him.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked despite himself.

"I don't know. I just want you to love me. I want you back."

Draco's heart quickened at Harry's sincere stupidity. "Are you insane? I can't love you."

"Then just be with me tonight. Do anything you want with me." Harry's towel slid to the floor, exposing himself.

Draco held his breath, suddenly afraid of Harry's openness. He was conflicted. He wanted to shake Harry out of his madness and throw him out of his room. But at the same time he wanted to take Harry, to make Harry his, break him into tiny little pieces, to love him.

"What are you saying?" Draco asked as if he didn't know already. He just wanted to make sure.

"Fuck me," Harry stated.

Draco could see clearly that Harry wasn't as determined as he sounded. In fact, it seemed as if Harry had just declared his death sentence. Draco shook his head in disbelief. "You're stupid."

Harry agreed with him. He was stupid. And if anyone found out just how high his stakes were, he would be in trouble. He heard Draco sighing and they exchanged a glance.

"I'll grant your wish, Potter. I just hope you know what you're doing. Or not. I don't really care. You're here on your own. Just remember that," said Draco, pushing Harry back to bed and ravishing him in a passionate kiss.

There were worse things than a woman's broken heart. Narcissa's concern for Draco had helped her ease the pain of losing Sirius. She couldn't kid herself. The pain _was_ there, carved in fire deep inside her heart; one more deception in her life. But by focusing on Draco, her love problems seemed small, almost ridiculous.

While Draco appeared to be restrained and cold, there was still something shining inside his eyes. It was the same flame she used to see in him a little before he had thrown away everything to be with Harry Potter. It seemed quite clear by his words – more than in his facial expressions – that his true wild spirit was struggling to break free from Voldemort. The true nature of Draco was of someone passionate and untamed. A beautiful little bird that only appeared to be breakable and fragile, but that was dying to spread his wings and fly away.

The knowledge that Draco still retained a lot of his true self made her more relieved but no less worried. Each time she left his room with a bitter taste in her mouth. She had failed as a mother. She was unable to protect her child. Try as she might to put the blame on Lucius, she was partly to blame, too. This time she wanted to make things right, though. She had to, for her son's sake.

Her life was in shambles. To make matter worse, she didn't have Sirius by her side anymore. She was strong enough to live on her own, but she did miss the warmth of his body at night.

She wondered if she would ever find love again. It didn't seem likely. She was far too old to experiment in new love games. Dating wasn't a familiar word to her. And it wasn't as if she was desperate to find another man so soon. In fact, she was realising that she was better off without them. Those kinds of worries appeared to be so trivial under the present.

A sudden pain crossed her heart and she leaned against the corridor wall to take a deep breath. Try as she might to convince herself that she was capable of not falling apart, her heart knew better. She was a wreck. Sirius didn't want her. Draco didn't really need her. _Lucius_ was doing a better job at taking care of their son than she was. And if it wasn't Lucius, there was Harry Potter to take his place.

Draco would accept _anyone_ but her.

Her eyelids shut tightly. Being rejected hurt. Would there ever be a place for her? Would she ever belong somewhere?

"Narcissa? Are you ok?" asked Remus, kindly.

Narcissa schooled her face into a more presentable image. Remus was the last person she wanted to see. His gentleness was worse than any curse. She wanted to hate him so much, and yet she couldn't. Narcissa knew Remus was oblivious to what was going on with Sirius. Remus was clueless about a lot of things, and that side of him was actually endearing.

As she stared into his hazelnut eyes so full of compassion and real concern, she sighed and did her best to smile.

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm just worried."

"Oh." Remus nodded. "I understand."

She sighed deeply. Of course he did. He, too, looked like he didn't belong. He was a lonely man. Narcissa had never suffered the kind of prejudice Remus had. She had lived in wealth for most of her life while Remus had survived mostly by charity and the pity of others. But even having lived such different realities, they shared a similar distaste towards the world. Their souls looked for the same thing: love and true acceptance. And they both had fallen in love with the same man, probably at the same time.

They just stood there, glancing at each other, trying to think of the right thing to say. Remus leaned his back on the opposite wall, and then fidgeted his feet. Being with Narcissa made him uncomfortable. She almost laughed hard. She was the one who was supposed to be feeling nervous, not him. He had won. But then again, it was _Remus_ she was talking about.

"Congratulations," she said unable to stop herself.

His eyes flickered. "Excuse me?"

"I'm talking about you and Sirius. He seems to have made up his mind at last. He chose you. So... congratulations are in order." She cursed herself silently. She didn't mean to sound so bitter and jealous.

Remus looked genuinely shocked. He stared at her, open-mouthed, unsure of what to say. He licked his lips, then put his hands in his pockets and looked down. It was her turn to fidget. She regretted ever mentioning Sirius. It would have been a lot better for both of them if she had just taken her leave and stayed quiet. The tightness around her heart had made it impossible to do so.

"Look," she said, deciding to speak her mind once and for all and be done with it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... well... I just thought... I don't want you to think I'm jealous. I'm not. I mean I am a little upset. I have the right to be. But there isn't anything I can do. Besides, I don't dislike you," the words just gushed out of her mouth. "You're a nice man. Well, you weren't very nice when you slept with him, but..."

"Oh, god!" Remus stared at her slack-jawed. His terrified expression wasn't for show. It made her wonder if she went a little too far. She was the one who had been cheated on, though. It was only natural that she wanted to confront him and pour her heart out.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. Well, maybe I am. I don't know," she snapped. "I feel like killing you both, chopping you to pieces and then feeding you to several dragons. But... I hurt Sirius once. I betrayed him. It's only fair that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. But it hurts! And you... you are a nice person. You could have waited until we broke up before jumping into his bed, but that's fine! He does have sex appeal. I guess I can forgive you for not resisting. It's just..." Narcissa gestured frantically, her arms following her anxious speech. And then she stopped. Her arms fell to her sides. She bit her lower lip hard and frowned, forcing herself not to cry. Her whole body was shaking.

Remus had never seen her as beautiful as then. Her light-blue eyes were shimmering; her cheeks flushed from either anger or sadness – probably both. She looked like a cat ready to attack, but at the same time she seemed fragile, like she was in need of a pat on the head and a tight hug. Then and there Remus understood why Sirius had fallen in love with her.

Remus admired her strength. She had the guts to confront him, but still remain like the lady she was. Her tension was clear in her defensive position and stiff body. And yet she managed to hold back her tears.

He carefully put his hands on her shoulders and brought their bodies together. Then, when he noticed no resistance, he closed his arms around her slim body and hugged her. She let herself be consoled by her rival because it just felt right. She rested her head on the curve of his shoulder and closed her eyes, still refusing to cry.

"I'm sorry," he whispered so softly she almost didn't hear. Just that. Not some elaborated apology. Just a plain, simple _'I'm sorry'_. And surprisingly, it was enough for her.

She shrugged. "It's all right."

"No, it isn't," he said sadly. "I shouldn't have..."

"You're right. You shouldn't have," she interrupted him. She didn't want to hear about it. "But... I understand. It's hard to resist such strong feelings, especially when they've been bottled inside you for so long, begging to be freed."

Remus sighed. "Even so..."

"Even so..." she drew back and then looked at him more composedly. "What's done is done. Let's not talk about it anymore. Just be happy." She took a few steps away and began to turn around. His next words stopped her.

"Congratulations are _not_ in order," Remus said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Sirius and I are just friends."

She stared at him with annoyance. "Are you saying he still hasn't said anything to you?"

"Sirius is just being friendly." He didn't seem happy about that. It was obvious that he was waiting for more than just friendship.

"Sirius is so thick!" she exclaimed. "What a coward! I can't believe he hasn't declared his feelings for you yet!" Remus smiled at her bizarre reaction. She made a face. "Well... He's that kind of man... Since he ruined things for both of us, he's probably afraid to take the next step and ruin his relationship with you. Don't worry. He'll come around. If he doesn't, then take matters into your hands. Voice your feelings. You could have spared both of us a lot of trouble if you had voiced your feelings a long time ago."

He reddened slightly. "It isn't that easy."

"It wasn't easy for me, either."

"You're a _woman_," he stated as if that was enough to close the subject.

She put her hands in her robe thoughtfully. She couldn't believe she was having such a conversation with the man who stole her lover. She believed even less when she heard herself saying, "Being a woman didn't really help me. I'm a Malfoy, too. That's enough to discredit anyone. He stayed with me because I wanted him to. What about you? What do you want? Why don't you fight to be with him?"

Remus' eyes flickered and he swallowed hard. "Because I'm a coward," he confessed.

"Damn right you are," she snorted. "If you say you love him, he'll be all yours."

Something changed in her eyes. All traces of sadness were gone. She now resembled more of the Narcissa Malfoy he knew. Her light-blue eyes turned dark. She threw her intense gaze at him as a direct challenge. Remus' breath got stuck in his throat.

"If, however, you fail to declare yourself again, I'll take him away from you," she stated resolutely. "I'll give you a month. Be glad that I'm such a considerate person."

She ignored his open-mouthed expression and walked away without looking back. All she could hear was the loud sound of her heels echoing in the corridor, and the beat of her heart thumping in her ears. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh. She also didn't intend to win Sirius back. That was a losing battle. Besides, she had her Malfoy pride to consider. She just felt like Remus needed to be shaken. She was just trying to encourage him to fight for what he wanted.

She shook her head and then smiled to herself. If only Lucius could see her right now. She could imagine his sneer. He always knew how to call her bluff.

She turned a corner and then came face to face with Erin holding Theo in her arms. Narcissa's heart melted at the sight of the little boy snuggled up in warm baby clothes. A lovely little silver-green scarf was around his neck and a wool cap that covered half of his ears protected his head. A beautiful snake was embroidered on his dark green coat; the symbol of the House of Slytherin. Theo was sound asleep in his mother's arms.

The women looked at each other with a smile.

"You're a very brave woman," Erin commented. "I'm not so sure that threatening Remus will make any difference. But it was worth a try!"

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. She admired Erin's openness and her ability to always be cheerful. Erin was a very strong woman. She had lost her brother, but hadn't let herself be overtaken by sadness. Many times Narcissa found herself very envious of her. But sometimes Erin's pushiness crossed the line. This was the first time with Narcissa, and she was so taken aback that for a while she didn't know how to react. Narcissa was used to deceiving others and keeping her feelings to herself.

Even so, instead of reproaching Erin for listening to other people's conversations, Narcissa just sighed and shrugged. "I did what I had to. I hope it works," she said.

"That's really nice of you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I am really angry about this whole thing. And highly upset."

Erin nodded. "I know. Would you like to walk with us? I'm going to see Sprout's amazing garden in Greenhouse number four. I want Theo to see it. Severus tried to convince me that he can't see clearly yet and therefore it would be a waste of my time, but... well... it's never a waste of time to introduce your son to beautiful things. I'm sure he'll sense the magic around."

"I think so, too. Draco was only five months old when he first pulled a magical prank on us. We were so surprised to find his teddy-bear floating above his head!" Narcissa said fondly. With a tender smile she stroked Theo's chubby fingers. "I can see that Severus couldn't convince you to stay in your chambers, but he did convince you to dress Theo in Slytherin baby clothes!" she teased.

Erin made a face. "It's one of his conditions to leave me alone. Theo does look cute on them, though. I have no idea where Severus got these little Slytherin outfit! He didn't want to tell me!"

"Madam Malkin does them. They cost more than regular clothes, though. Lucius used to order them for Draco when he was little, already preparing the boy to be a proper Slytherin," Narcissa sneered. "I bet he told Severus about it."

"That's interesting. I wonder if she would make some Gryffindor little outfits, too. I would love to see Severus shocked expression when he sees Theo wrapped in a golden-red blanket," said Erin with a dreamy face.

Narcissa chuckled. "Oh, I would love to see that, too!"

"So, would you like to walk with us?" Erin asked again. "You can tell me more about baby clothes and I'll let you bash men in general. Hell, I'll even help you!"

Narcissa smiled. Although Erin was nosy, she knew how to cheer up a person like no one else. Besides, Narcissa could use some company. She didn't want to be alone. It would be nice to chat with another woman for a change. She had been surrounded only by men for too long. That was why she answered, "I would love to." And that was the beginning of a long-term friendship.

Remus wandered through Hogwarts a little bewildered from his meeting with Narcissa. He hadn't known what to expect when he had first seen her in the corridor, but he certainly hadn't expected that odd conversation. She was quite a strange woman. Beautiful, but strange. Remus couldn't tell if she was serious about snatching Sirius away from him or not. But it wasn't as if there was anything to be snatched away. Remus didn't have Sirius. Unfortunately, they were just friends.

In his current stage of life, Remus didn't know if he wanted their relationship to change. He was in need of a good friend. What if they took the next step and it ruined things? Remus couldn't bear to lose Sirius' friendship another time. Not now, when he had already lost Alex.

His heart wouldn't rest, though. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself that he didn't want things to change between Sirius and him, his heart insisted otherwise. Especially now that Narcissa had confirmed their break-up. There wasn't anything in their way, except his own cowardice.

He had promised Erin he would talk to Sirius, but he still hadn't gathered the courage to do so. The only thing that would calm his distressed heart would be if Sirius himself confessed his true feelings for him.

Putting those thoughts in the back of his mind, Remus entered his office and picked up a pile of books from the bookshelf, placing them on his desk. He had a lot of work to do for the Order. Dumbledore had asked him to do some research about the Green Flame; the weapon Voldemort was trying to find. He had a little knowledge of it, but not enough to state if it was real or where to find it.

He opened up _Dark Magic – A Guide Throughout The Centuries_ to page fifty-four and began to read a small note about the Green Flame aloud.

"The Green Flame was said to be born in Merlin's time, but no one could prove it. Merlin himself never spoke of it, which still makes people wonder if the Green Flame had born before or after Merlin's time, or if it was real at all." Remus paused to consider this.

He had read somewhere that some people had attributed the Green Flame to the Founders of Hogwarts, but the information was so vague no one could tell for sure. With that thought in mind, he continued to read aloud.

"Rosalind Murphy, a famous historian witch, claims to have found parchments hidden in a cave in old Scotland stating that the Green Flame was born from the conjunction of powers between _Salazar Slytherin_ and _Godric Gryffindor_ when they were still on good terms with each other. They didn't know at the time that they had created the most powerful magical weapon to ever exist in magic, a joining of magic so strong that it had to be divided in three in order to avoid disaster. Godric Gryffindor also did this to prevent Salazar Slytherin from going further with his plans of mass destruction. Salazar never knew the whereabouts of the Green Flame, and Godric Gryffindor seems to have taken the secret to his grave – a place that no one knows of its location. Rowena Ravenclaw, one of Godric's best friends, declared in her memoirs that the Green Flame would appear again when needed, that is to say, only in the face of a great evil.

"An amulet? A stone? A ring? Nobody knows the form of the Green Flame. Probably a mixture of all these things. To this day, the Green Flame remains a mystery that will only be unleashed when our community finds itself faced with the rebirth of an evil wizard or witch."

Remus took a deep breath and pondered about the writer's last words. Voldemort was evil enough. Did that mean the Green Flame was out there, ready to be used? Voldemort was probably counting on that. True or false, the legend of the Green Flame was worthy being checked.

He was so lost in his reading that he didn't notice the handle of his door being turned and someone sliding into the room. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, Remus jumped from his seat and almost knocked down the book. With his hand on his heart, he stared incredulously at Sirius' mischievous smile.

"Sirius!" he exclaimed, his heart thumping in his ears. "You scared me half to death!"

"Oh, come on!" Sirius sat on the corner of the table and spied on Remus' notes. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Remus made a face. "Yes, you did." He grabbed the papers Sirius was reading and put them back on the table. "I don't remember telling you that you could read those."

Sirius crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Still keeping secrets from me? You should know better. Secrets almost ruined our friendship once."

"I'm doing some research about the Green Flame so I'm taking some notes on it."

Sirius didn't seem to believe him. "Why can't I read them?"

"Because I know you. You'll disorganise them," Remus stated.

"I will not!" Sirius denied vehemently, almost believably. Remus shook his head and chuckled. His smile eased Sirius' heart. Sirius hadn't seen Remus smiling like that in a while.

Sirius could see something different in Remus' eyes, but he couldn't tell what. He was intrigued. Instead of asking about it, he decided to begin with a neutral conversation. "So, what have you discovered about the Green Flame so far?"

"Nothing new. Just that maybe it is buried with Godric Gryffindor. Literally," said Remus.

"Hmm... Well, that makes it easier, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"The Founders were all buried here in Hogwarts," Sirius informed. "It's common knowledge. You didn't know?"

Remus sighed. "I do know. That's not the point, Sirius. Not even Dumbledore knows in what part of the castle their graves are hidden. He doesn't even know if the rumour is true."

"Oh, the old man knows it," Sirius stated. "Dumbledore knows a lot more than we think. He just doesn't like to show it."

"If he knows where they are, then why not tell us?"

"I said he knows the fact that their graves are in Hogwarts. I didn't say he knows of their location."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Very nice, Sirius..."

"What?" Sirius smiled sweetly.

Remus just shook his head and sat back on his chair. "You're impossible. I need real clues, not suppositions."

Sirius shrugged. "All we have about the Green Flame are suppositions. We should start from them. We know this castle better than anyone. We could borrow the Marauders Map from Harry and start a treasure hunt! It will be fun!" Sirius winked at Remus. The werewolf's heart leaped. "It will be just like old times."

Remus smiled. "It isn't a treasure hunt."

"A tomb hunt, then. We'll be tomb raiders! It will be exciting!" Sirius exclaimed, and Remus could see in his eyes that he was already excited enough just with the idea of searching the Founders' tombs together. Remus chuckled softly and Sirius grinned. "I'm so glad to see you smiling again," Sirius said. "I missed your smile."

Remus reddened. "You don't need to flatter me. I think your idea is really interesting."

Sirius rose from the table and stopped next to Remus. "But I want to flatter you. All the time. Forever."

Remus felt his face flush even more. The moment he had waited for all of his life had finally come. The day Sirius would declare his love for him. It was like a dream. He held his breath in expectation and waited for Sirius' next words. But none came.

Instead of words, Sirius decided to use his body to prove his point. He grabbed Remus' shoulders and brought him closer, lessening the distance between them and sealing it with a breathtaking kiss. Remus let himself be ravished quite willingly.

"Sirius," he moaned against Sirius' lips.

"Remus..." Sirius' lips slid down Remus' neck, making the werewolf shiver from desire.

"What are you doing?" Remus felt like he had to ask.

Sirius stopped what he was doing and frowned. "What do you think? I'm trying to make out with you... maybe go all the way while we're at it."

Remus felt the exact moment his heart stopped. "What about Narcissa?" That was another thing he had to ask. He needed to get Narcissa out of the picture once and for all, and he needed Sirius to tell him clearly that there was nothing between him and Narcissa anymore.

"We broke up," Sirius said with a sigh. "Narcissa was the one who made me realise my true feelings and she ordered me be honest with myself for the first time in my life and confront them. I did."

"And?" Remus asked with his heart in his mouth.

"I won't lie to you, Remus. I love her."

Remus felt a tight ache in his chest and he thought he would never recover from the shock. His hopes began to die away.

"No, wait!" Sirius amended quickly as he saw the glow in Remus' eyes fade. "I do love her. But I realised that my love for her is different now. There's someone else that I love with all my heart." The glow was back in Remus' eyes again, and so was the hope. Sirius cupped Remus' face in his hands and said heartily, "I love you, Moony."

Remus blinked repeatedly. He didn't want to cry and make a fool of himself, so he tried as hard as he could to hold back his tears. But he didn't hold back the big grin that overtook his lips. It finally happened, the moment he had waited for his entire life. He didn't know what to do with the happiness ballooning inside his heart.

"Say it again," he asked.

Sirius smiled shyly. "I love you. I tried to tell you before, you know, that day in the Hospital Wing. I guess I wasn't very convincing because you didn't react the way I was expecting."

"I thought you meant it as a friend."

Sirius made a face. "I'm losing my touch... What can I say? I'm getting old, and instead of getting wiser, I'm getting stupider. I almost lost you because of my stubbornness in not admitting my feelings for you."

Remus nodded and then rested his head on Sirius' large chest. "You're a dummy."

Sirius embraced him tightly. "I am a dummy that is still waiting for your reply. Impatiently!"

"I love you, too," Remus confessed in a weak voice. "I thought it was obvious."

"Remus, I'm stupid. You need to be very clear about these things otherwise I won't get you at all," Sirius said.

Remus chuckled. "Yes, I know. But I was afraid you would hate me."

Sirius' hug tightened even more around him. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you after we made love. I was scared."

"You really hurt me."

Sirius loosened up his grip on Remus and rested his hands on Remus' waist. He looked deep into Remus' eyes and said, "I know. I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking. I'm such a jerk. But I can see very clearly now. I want to stay by your side, if you'll let me."

Remus stroked Sirius' face tenderly. "I want to be with you, too."

"Since when?" Sirius asked. Remus looked at him confusedly and he added, "Since when have you loved me? James thinks you've been in love with me since our school days."

James was right, but it was embarrassing to admit it. "I..." Remus started timidly. "Do you remember when you told me I was acting weird after Graduation?"

"Yes."

"And you thought it was because I had joined the Death Eaters."

"Yes, I remember," Sirius said impatiently. "So...?"

"I drove myself away from you back then because I was in love with you. So much so that I thought I wouldn't be able to hide it anymore," Remus confessed. "I thought my feelings for you were written all over my face. I decided to distance myself a little, and see if I could get over you."

"Did you?"

"No. When you were arrested, I tried so hard to hate you, but somehow I always kept my faith in you, in your innocence. When I saw you again after all those years... I was so happy. I told myself it was good enough to be by your side again. I thought I didn't need you to love me. But as time went by, my love for you grew to a point that it began to suffocate me again. I wanted you so much. But you already had Narcissa."

"I was so blind... How could I not notice?" Sirius asked himself. "It's a miracle that you still want me, even after the way I pushed you away."

"Do you really want me, Sirius? Even though I'm a werewolf? Even though I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown?" Remus asked anxiously.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I thought you already had a breakdown. I don't know..." Sirius looked at him solemnly, and then smiled. "Of course I want you! Don't think I'll let you go so easily. Not now that I finally have you!"

Remus took the initiative to kiss Sirius this time, which was a pleasant surprise. Sirius' hands fumbled all over Remus in a frantic way. He crushed Remus against the wall and rocked against his body, making Remus hard. They kissed a few times before Sirius asked playfully, "So, am I allowed to go further today?"

Remus smiled dazzlingly; as he answered provocatively, "You might..."

TBC…

A/N: The last part will be the END! Then the second arc will be done. Wow. Almost over. So please, review! Your opinion is very important.


	23. Of Kisses and Goodbyes part 02

Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter related belongs to JK Rowlings and WB. The only thing I created was Erin and this crazy slash plot.

A/N: Thanks a lot to my beta readers: **Jade**, **Alice** and **Dumbledore**. Jade has been with me for ages! Thank you, Jade, for sticking with me! Millions of thanks to my readers, especially **Mon**, that took her time to build a lovely TMH and TRH web page. There are so many people to thank. I even want to thank those who pressured me to continue with this story. XD It's finally here. The last chapter! I hope you like it.

Warning: NC-17. It will be removed after three days.

This chapter is dedicated to my dog and to my London friends.

Chap. 22 – **Of Kisses and Goodbyes** **(part 02)**

James smiled as he observed his two best friends from afar. Sirius' happy behaviour reminded him of the shiny prankster his friend once was. James was reminded of their Hogwarts days when Sirius looked naughtily at him and winked as he put an arm around Remus. Remus looked down shyly, but couldn't quite hide a grin. Although he still looked fragile, James noticed a big difference in Remus' mood. The quietest of the Marauders radiated more confidence in the way he held himself and asserted his opinions. He didn't look as depressed and defeated as he had been after Alex' death. Remus was actually smiling without the sadness that frequently haunted his eyes. 

Though Sirius and Remus hadn't said anything to confirm their status as a couple, James knew from the glances and touches they shared that they were together. Even Lucius had noticed the change in them by saying aloud when he caught Sirius provoking Remus, "Oh, please! Find a bloody room!"

Remus had flushed fiercely while Sirius had smirked at Lucius. And whatever Sirius had wanted to say in return was stifled by Remus' hand on his mouth.

Thus, James knew his friends were all right. What worried him now was _Harry_.

His son seemed to be in deep thought most of the time, lost in a world of his own. Harry constantly looked distracted and his green eyes had lost their usual sparkle. No matter how many times James asked him about it, though, Harry would always smile feebly at him and tell him he had nothing to worry about. That alone preoccupied James and made him think twice before going to Transylvania. But the preparations were all set and he could only imagine how furious Lucius would be if James decided to stay behind after almost throwing a fit about being allowed to go. Besides, hadn't Harry himself had begged for James to go?

He felt uneasy, but even so, James bade Sirius and Remus farewell.

He then turned to Harry with his heart in his mouth. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" His fatherly instinct was strongly advising him that Harry needed him. Just one word and James would abandon his mission to stay with his son.

Harry's expression was impossible to read, though, when he answered, "You were the one who wanted to go in the first place."

James made a face. "Well, yes, but you come first. If you want me to stay, then I'll stay."

Harry seemed to get a little upset. "Why? I'm okay. I'm not a child, you know? I can take care of myself."

"Harry... I'm new at this, but... something tells me you are hiding something from me. Are you really okay?"

Harry sighed. "I'm all right. I told you that already. You know it's been difficult for me. I'll be much better when you come back with the blue rose."

James didn't seem so convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Harry smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I want this to be over soon, that's all."

James caressed his son's head and then hugged him. Harry seemed to find the situation a little awkward as Lucius stared at them with a smirk. After a while, though, Harry's body relaxed in James' arms. James felt Harry tremble slightly and rubbed his back comfortingly. They held each other for a long time. Slowly, they parted and James looked into Harry's eyes and said, "If you need me, just call. I'll come back in the blink of an eye. Promise me, Harry. You'll share your fears with me, and let me help you if you find yourself in need. Okay?"

"I will," Harry said softly, staring at his feet. "Just come back with a solution, please."

James nodded. In that short sentence he understood that the name behind Harry's problem was _Draco_. James knew Harry was still seeing the other boy when he thought nobody was looking. James's instincts had told him to stop those visits, but Lucius had convinced him to let the boys be. Now James wondered if they had done the right thing. But it was too late to worry about that. The only thing to do was to find the blue rose and bring it to Hogwarts.

It was his duty as a father to help Harry. James would do his best to find a solution to Draco's problem. He hugged Harry one last time trying to ignore the pang in his heart, and then entered the waiting carriage. Lucius was already inside tapping his foot on the floor impatiently. Lucius' expression softened when his eyes met his lover's troubled ones. They stared at each other understandingly.

"Just focus on the task ahead. Soon this nightmare will be over," Lucius said, trying to offer James comfort.

James sighed tiredly as he leaned his head on the back of the satin seat and looked through the small window. "Will this ever be over? Things have always been messy as far as I can remember. It looks like no matter how much we try, nothing changes!"

"Things certainly change," Lucius assured him with a conviction that it surprised James. "Draco had the courage to defy everything to be with your son. He even thought of sacrificing himself to save Harry. Your best friend escaped prison and proved his innocence. Now he almost looks like a decent person. And we... well, look at us. I could never, in my wildest dreams, imagine that we would end up together like this. Perhaps there's still a lot to be done, but don't say that things haven't changed. It's an insult to everything we've experienced until now."

James stared at him, deeply shocked and moved by his words. Lucius frowned and asked defensively, "What? Did I say something wrong?"

James shook his head. "On the contrary. You're totally right. I never thought you had it in you."

"That I had what?" Lucius hissed, returning to his unpleasant self.

James chuckled. "Nothing."

He was amazed by the changes in Lucius' character. Day by day, Lucius showed him a new side of himself that James hadn't known existed. Most of the time those changes were subtle, but sometimes they were so apparent that they stunned James and caught him by surprise. The funny thing was that Lucius didn't seem to notice those lapses. They just came out of him naturally. "We won't come back empty handed, right?"

Lucius looked at him decisively. "Of course not."

Severus entered the carriage just then, breaking their intense gaze. He carried a big straw basket and looked distressed. His scowl amused Lucius.

"Don't even start, Lucius," Severus warned him with a grimace.

Lucius sneered. "I haven't said anything. If you keep looking so defensive, then I will definitely feel tempted to bully you."

Severus groaned under his breath. James looked at them, puzzled and a little irritated for not understanding the joke. Noticing his confusion, Lucius explained, "Look at his basket. It's the perfect symbol of love. I bet Erin filled it with food for our journey. Am I wrong, Severus? Who would have thought that grumpy Severus Snape would ever live such a normal, boring, married life?"

Severus made a face. "You're partially right, Lucius. Erin did fill this with food, but she also put other things in it..." Severus pulled off the striped cloth covering the basket and unveiled dozens of wooden stakes and small vials of potions next to meat pies, Butterbeers, chocolate bars, and fruit. "As you can see, my wife likes to take care of _every_ little detail. And by the way, there's nothing boring about our marriage."

Lucius snorted. "It doesn't change the fact that seeing you married is weird and therefore funny."

"What kind of logic is that? You sound like a spoiled brat," Severus mocked.

"They say one should never forget their inner child," Lucius mocked back.

James rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me I'll have to listen to you two the entire journey..."

"I plan to sleep the whole way, Potter," Severus said. "I certainly don't want to spend the rest of the journey looking at you and Lucius. It won't do my stomach any good."

"Now, you...!" James grunted, clenching his fist.

Lucius held James on his seat. "Who's behaving like a child now?" he said, staring at James reprovingly.

James raised an eyebrow in Lucius' direction. "Look who's talking."

"But you're the _Gryffindor_ here, James," said Lucius, with phoney seriousness. "You should set the example."

Severus smirked. "Don't joke around, Lucius. We all know what kind of example Potter and his crew used to set in the past."

"Indeed," Lucius agreed, returning the smirk.

James groaned and crossed his arms, irritated. "Great! Here I am, stuck with two of the most obnoxious people I've ever met. Please, give me a sleeping draught. I don't want to kill myself before we reach our destination."

"Oh, come on, James. Don't take it so personally," Lucius said with a playful smile. "You're so easy to tease."

"Yes, Potter. You're so _easy_," Severus smirked.

"Shut up, _Snivellus_," James grunted.

Severus fumed at the mention of the horrifying teenage nickname invented by the Marauders. He glared at James murderously, hoping he would drop dead on the spot. "So, Potter, who's the _girl_ in your relationship with Lucius? My bets are on _you_," Severus said to provoke James.

"Hey!" James exclaimed, furious.

"Now, Severus, that was just low. I thought you were classier than that," Lucius said. "Besides, it's rather obvious that Potter is the girl."

James shot an evil glare at Lucius, one that said his lover would deeply regret that stupid joke. "Let's see how funny it is when you look for me in bed and end up with your face disfigured," James said, upset.

Severus covered his ears, irritated. "I don't want to hear about that! Please, stupefy me."

"With pleasure!" James exclaimed, pointing his wand at Severus.

Lucius lowered James' hand and declared, "All right! I'll admit it wasn't funny. I'm sorry. Let's just shake hands and call a truce."

"You started this! How do you manage to be so lovely and then act like a total jerk right afterwards?" James asked.

Lucius shrugged. "I can't help it. This is the way I am. The words come out before I can stop them."

"Well, learn to face the consequences then. Maybe next time you'll be able to hold your poisonous tongue," James said, his face red from anger and a little hurt. Lucius sighed, annoyed, and then pulled James closer and kissed him. James tried to struggle at first, but as always, he surrendered in the end.

"You're such an idiot," James muttered, breaking their kiss.

"But you love me even so, don't you?" Lucius teased.

Slumping in his seat, Severus made a face and wondered if he should stupefy himself. "And I'm the one who's changed… You're a whole different person, Lucius. This is going to be a very – long – trip," Severus muttered.

-----------------------------

Sitting comfortably on the sofa of the Gryffindor common room and staring at the fireplace as if she were hypnotised, Hermione sighed for the sixth time that afternoon. She couldn't dismiss the thought that something was wrong with Harry. Ron had tried to convince her otherwise, but she just couldn't forget Harry's strange expression as he said goodbye to his father in the morning. 

She was absolutely certain that Draco was the person behind Harry's distress. She knew Harry had been meeting Draco on the sly. Hermione had backed up those encounters. She wondered if she had done the right thing. Draco wasn't what he used to be. She had hoped that Harry would influence Draco in a positive way, but it seemed that the opposite was happening. Harry was the one being influenced by Draco.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" asked Ron, sitting by her side and putting his arms around her waist. "You're frowning."

"Oh?" she said, making a face. "I'm thinking about Harry. You really don't think he's acting strange?"

Ron shook his head. "No. I mean it's obvious that he's worried about something, but we already know what that something is. To be honest with you, I don't like it. But what can we do? It's his life. You know how stubborn he is."

"But don't you think we should interfere? Friends help each other out. If we see something wrong, isn't it our duty as friends to open his eyes?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess. But you know Harry. Do you think that anything you have to say will make a difference? Do you think you can convince him to stop seeing Malfoy?"

Hermione sighed and slowly shook her head. "No. Harry is blinded by love. He won't listen to us. But still... I'm worried, Ron. Draco wouldn't want Harry to get hurt. We shouldn't have encouraged Harry to meet Draco... Perhaps there are some things that love alone cannot resolve."

Ron held Hermione tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Let's have faith. If things get out of control, then we'll intervene. If Malfoy hurts Harry, I will personally beat him up."

"What if we're too late?" Hermione asked anxiously.

"We won't be. If it makes you feel better, we can spy on Harry from now on, you know, like make sure he isn't doing anything crazy," Ron answered

Her expression lit up. "Yes, that's a good idea! We'll just... play guardian angels. We'll let him do what he wants and only get in the way if we are really needed."

"All right." Ron smiled softly. "Right now, let's talk about something lighter. Like the New Year's Eve party. Dumbledore told us all that tonight we should clear our minds and just enjoy the birth of a new year."

Hermione sat up straight immediately and exclaimed, "I totally forgot about that! I should have sent a singing Happy New Year's card to my parents ages ago!" She pulled Ron away from the sofa and dragged him out of the common room. "Come on! We don't have much time. We are going to the Owlery right now! Is Pig there?"

Ron made a face at the mention of his crazy little owl pet. "Yeah. Pig is probably there."

"Great! We'll mail the card to my parents and then we'll go spying on Harry."

Ron sighed and then answered with a playful, "Yes, dear."

-------------------- 

Soon the night arrived and the Great Hall slowly filled with people coming to celebrate the New Year. Most of the guests were members of the Order with their families and friends. There was a strange atmosphere in the beginning. No one dared to smile, because it seemed wrong to celebrate and be happy in times of war. But after Dumbledore's encouraging speech, the mood changed entirely. The guilt fled when Dumbledore stated that to celebrate life was also a way of fighting against Voldemort's terror. He stated there wasn't anything wrong in celebrating the passage of the year with lots of champagne and cheerful songs, especially because they had won their last battle against the Death Eaters. All the damages in Little Whinging had been successfully repaired and nobody had been killed.

Hogwarts then sprung to life. Professor Flitwick had decorated the Great Hall with a beautiful night sky, colourful lights and star-like snowflakes that never touched the floor. The best silver plates, golden goblets and delicious foods were put on the table. The house-elves had prepared their best recipes. Even the most pessimistic of the group seemed to have lightened-up. The happy singing could be heard from miles away. The centaurs that sympathised with them arrived slowly, almost shyly at first, but they soon relaxed. The cans of beer were passed around. Nearly Headless Nick put on a show with his headless companions, and the ghosts' chorale performed a beautiful New Year's song. Mrs. Weasley seemed to be in a great mood with all of her family gathered around her unharmed. She didn't even mind the red faces of Fred and George caused by too much butterbeer. She seemed a bit flushed herself. She just showed a little discontent as the twins presented their new prank, an instant illusion charm created to distract teachers in class when a student fell asleep. Ron thought the idea was brilliant, as he was a constant victim of classroom slumber himself, and he asked to be put at the top of his brothers' list of deliveries. 

Standing next to Harry, Hermione rolled her eyes at the whole thing. She scowled at Ron for drinking too much and being too loud, and so she took his bottle of butterbeer away. Ron stuck out his tongue at her childishly. Hermione made a face, and then kindly explained to her boyfriend the effects of a hangover – not from personal experience, of course. She had read about them in a book.

On the other side of the room, Sirius told a joke about two Death Eaters and a lamp and the whole table burst into laughter. Hagrid was laughing so hard that he slapped the table and drinks were spilled, but no one seemed to mind. At Sirius' side, Remus flushed fiercely as Sirius' arms wound around his shoulders to bring him closer and whisper in his ear.

Harry was happy just seeing the cheer around him, but somehow his heart wasn't in it, and his smile rarely drove away the worry in his eyes. His father had gone to Transylvania that morning, leaving Harry with a weight in his heart and an anxiety that nothing seemed to ease.

Erin rocked Theo in her arms while listening to something McGonagall was saying, but Harry could tell that she had Severus on her mind. Severus and Lucius had also gone with James in search of Cassandra and the blue rose. Even though Dumbledore told them not to worry, it was hard not to.

Harry prayed for the success of their trip. He just wanted it to work. If there was no blue rose, then chances were that there was no cure for Draco. Harry couldn't even think about such dreadful news. Not now that Draco was in his arms again, but still behaving like a total prick. Harry couldn't wait to wipe that hideous sneer off Draco's handsome face.

Harry turned his attention to Draco, who was the only one isolated from the rest. Draco had chosen to sit at the other end of the table, far away from the fuss, where he quietly ate a piece of chicken pie and drank pumpkin juice – a rather _plebeian_ meal, Harry thought. Even though Draco seemed to be alien to his surroundings, Harry could see his cold silver-blue eyes scanning the room every once in a while, as if watching everything carefully so he could report facts, conversations and people to Voldemort in the future.

Not that Harry would ever allow him to go back to Voldemort. He promised not to let Draco leave his sight, not even for a second.

Being in Draco's company was messing with his head. It was hard to predict Draco's moods, but Harry was learning how to deal with him quite well. He knew now what subjects to avoid and what buttons to press – and to what extent. Mostly, Harry knew exactly how to rile Draco and then use sex to tame him. Draco never looked so submissive as when Harry was inside him, thrusting into him, making Draco moan and cry in ecstasy.

Harry's eyes darkened with desire at the thought. As if feeling his needs, Draco switched his attention to Harry and an electrifying urge passed through them. Draco's body trembled slightly, but he still found strength to sneer in his snooty, but sexy, way. Harry sneered back and they began their usual cat and mouse game right there in the Great Hall.

Harry hated to admit it, but he rather liked their games. He felt a thrill of excitement every time he thought of taming Draco and bringing him to his knees to beg for release. He loved to feel Draco's fingernails scraping his back when he was close to climaxing. Draco had left a big purple hickey on Harry's neck as if to state his possession, as if to say that Harry only thought he was calling all the shots, because the truth was that _Draco_ was the one in charge.

Harry didn't mind being the top or bottom. He didn't mind letting go of his control. The fact remained the same. Master or slave, he had become addicted. Sex between them had never been this wild, this violent, or this needy. Draco had never left as many marks on his body as he did now. Their lovemaking had always been calm, romantic and almost polite, but all the same amazing and satisfying.

Draco's newfound aggression in bed shocked Harry, and he wondered if the old Draco had held back his true desires on purpose. Harry now felt a bit confused about who the real Draco was, and he wondered if the answer would really change the way he truly felt. Besides, be it _Draco_ or _Malfoy_, the blond wanted him just the same.

Draco seemed unaware of it, but his body responded to Harry's as if he already knew all of its secrets.

'_Well_', thought Harry with a bitter smile, '_Draco does know my body well. He just doesn't consciously remember it._'

But instead of the soft tenderness he used to feel from Draco's touch, Harry now felt a darker desire, an urge to own, to possess all of him. To strike, bite, hurt, scratch and fuck him senseless, push him to his limits. _Destroy him_. Until there was nothing left of him. That twisted passion scared Harry. But it also turned him on.

"Harry? Are you all right?" asked Hermione gently, touching him slightly on the shoulder.

Harry looked at her distractedly and frowned. "Yes. Why?" 

"You look like you want to devour Draco," she pointed out in a whisper, and then she grinned at Harry's flushing face and stuttering voice as he tried to deny it.

"I presume things have improved, then," she said with a wink. "After all, I've barely seen you these past couple of days." He didn't notice the hidden questions in her comment, the subtle way she had tried to gain more acknowledge of their relationship.

Harry felt like sinking into his chair. "I'm not sure if things are... improving," Harry muttered, glancing at Draco. "But they are certainly changing..."

Hermione stared at Harry thoughtfully. "Harry... If anything happens, you will tell us. Won't you?" she asked.

Harry looked at her, wondering if she had seen through him. Somehow Harry had the impression that Hermione knew exactly what was going on with him. Harry's eyes were drawn to Draco's again. He sighed. "Nothing is wrong. We are just… adjusting to this new reality."

Hermione nodded. "It must be very difficult for you. Just promise to be careful."

Harry smiled weakly and was relieved when Ron diverted Hermione's attention to something else. Harry couldn't promise that he would be careful. Not anymore. He had already thrown caution out the window the moment he let Draco possess him. The truth was that Draco wasn't the only one tamed when they had sex. Harry also knew how to play Draco's sex toy very well.

The green eyes were drawn to Draco once again. The blond was the picture of boredom. It was only when their eyes met that Harry saw liquid fire in the silver-blue ones, inviting him, daring him to come closer. Harry was more than willing to accept the invitation and let himself be burned.

All of a sudden, Draco's expression changed entirely. The blond looked displeased with something. He made a face at Harry and then turned his head away, irritated. Puzzled, Harry wondered what that was all about until Ginny sat by his side and smiled at him.

"Hi, Harry. It's been a while since the last time we've talked. I missed you," she said brightly, and then more gravely, "I'm sorry about the things that happened. I heard about Little Whinging. I can't wait to grow up and be able to fight, too."

Harry smiled at her. He couldn't imagine such a delicate girl like Ginny joining the war. Then again, she was very resolute and strong. She could become a great strategist. He shook his head at his crazy thoughts. Ginny was too young to join the war. They were all too young.

"I heard about Draco, too." Ginny glanced at Draco and wasn't surprised by his murderous icy stare. "Well, that's the Draco we know. I thought he had changed, but I guess I was wrong. He looks the same to me."

"It isn't him," Harry said, sounding defensive. "Draco did change. It's the damn potion."

"Yes, so I heard. But Harry... why did You-Know-Who do that to him?"

_'To hurt me',_ Harry thought.

It was how he wanted to answer, but he couldn't. Ginny didn't know about their relationship. Harry didn't feel like filling her in, either. So when Draco strode away, Harry didn't think twice before following him. He abruptly excused himself and left the Great Hall, leaving behind a stunned and puzzled Ginny.

Peter and Sam walked behind Draco as well. Harry felt irritated, but he knew there was nothing he could do to ditch them. It wasn't as if they would stop Harry from entering Draco's chambers. Not after Dumbledore had talked to them and given Harry permission to enter Draco's room whenever he wanted, alleging that perhaps Draco could be reminded of their past _friendship_. Harry didn't know what had caused Dumbledore to change his mind, but he was grateful to the Headmaster.

Peter and Sam had never questioned Harry, but they always looked at him with curiosity – and sometimes with distrust, especially when the brunet visited Draco at night.

As the four of them walked through the lonely corridors of the castle, Harry couldn't help thinking that no matter how he viewed the situation, the reality of their new relationship wasn't so good at all. _Draco_ had him wrapped around his finger, not the other way around. Harry could try to deny Draco at first, but in the end he always surrendered. He would die for Draco if asked, and he would do so gladly.

Harry was deeply disturbed and positively scared. Draco had awakened his dark side, one that Harry hadn't known existed, and couldn't control at all. Sadly, though, Harry only wanted more.

Draco had left the door of his room ajar. How could Draco be so certain that Harry would follow him? Harry bit his lower lip, distressed. Stupid question. Obviously, Draco knew that Harry's body was addicted to him. It wasn't as if Harry was trying to hide or suppress his feelings. It was quite the opposite, in fact. Harry felt more and more imprisoned by Draco's spell.

_'I shouldn't be doing this,'_ Harry thought, his hands firmly gripping the doorknob.

"Erm... Potter? Are you ok?" asked Sam.

Harry nodded absent-mindedly. He was still lost in his own gloomy thoughts. '_Walk away,' _he told himself._ 'Walk away and you'll retain some dignity. You'll show him who's in charge. At least pretend. Pretend he doesn't have you on a leash. Walk away. Please.' _

"Whatever you are doing in there, it isn't working," commented Peter nosily. Sam elbowed Peter in the stomach to make his friend shut up. Peter groaned but kept going, "Well, it's true! Malfoy is polite and all, but he's a scary, cold kid. I've never seen a kid with such icy eyes before. Harry, I'm just saying this because we worry about you. I don't think that visiting this kid is doing you any good."

"Peter!" Sam exclaimed. "It isn't our place to say such a thing!"

"It's ok," Harry answered tiredly. He was irritated with Peter's straightforwardness, but what could he say? Peter was right. And yet, no matter how much Harry tried, he couldn't convince himself to walk away. "But answer this for me. Would you turn your back on Sam if he needed your help?"

Peter flushed. "That's... different."

"Would you?" Harry insisted.

"No," Peter answered in a low voice, and then more firmly, "I would do anything to help him, no matter how dangerous the situation was."

Sam opened his eyes wide. He felt a little embarrassed by such strong conviction coming from Peter, but he smiled with the knowledge that his friend would always be there for him. Harry smiled, too.

"That's how I feel about Draco," Harry said. "Do you get it now?"

Peter looked down and nodded.

Harry turned his attention to the door in front of him and entered. The door slowly shut behind him. He found the room covered in darkness. He felt chills run down his spine and his breathing became more laboured. His heart beat unsteadily so he closed his eyes and felt his senses come alive. Luckily he didn't need his wand to defend himself. Harry took a deep breath to try to calm down. Then he waited.

He felt something move up smoothly behind him and he gulped. He wondered what Draco was planning now. What kind of game was set for them tonight?

His glasses were removed and a blindfold covered his eyes. He held his breath for a moment, and then he sniggered, feeling a little nervously. "Is this really necessary? With or without the blindfold, I can't see a thing."

"Everything I do has a purpose," whispered Draco, his lips very close to Harry's right ear. Harry's heart skipped a beat.

"And what is it this time? Kill me?"

Draco sneered. "_Now_ you're worried? After everything you've said to me? After offering me your _life_ on a silver platter? What's the matter, Potter? Don't tell me you're scared."

"I'm not scared!" Harry quickly denied. "I'm just a little..." Harry sighed in frustration at not finding the right words to express his feelings. Of course he wasn't scared. He had a knot in his stomach, and his body was a little shaken, but he was certainly not afraid of Draco. It was only the adrenaline rushing through his body.

The light feathery touch from Draco's hands on his body made him shiver even more, but this time he _knew_ it was from pure pleasure. Draco began to undress Harry slowly, taking his time to caress and kiss Harry's naked skin. The raven-haired boy allowed a strangled moan to escape his lips. It wasn't as if he could hold back his desire anyway, so he might as well enjoy the ride. He heard Draco laughing softly, and he dared to hope that the Draco holding him was his boyfriend and not Voldemort's minion.

"You like this stuff, don't you, Potter?" whispered Draco. "Look at your skin... the hairs on your arms are standing up." Draco ran his fingers along Harry's arms and before Harry knew it, Draco tied his wrists together.

Harry smiled. "So that's your kinky game for the night. This brings back memories."

"Oh, really? Have you tried this before?" Draco sounded a little upset, or so Harry dared to hope. The hard pinch on his nipples was another sign that maybe Draco was jealous.

"No," Harry answered with a husky voice. "I used to tease you about this. I always thought you wanted me like this; blindfolded and tied up. Now I know you actually fantasised about this..."

Draco retracted a little, slightly taken aback. Harry missed his touched and he instantly regretted his words. He shivered, but not from pleasure this time. Suddenly the room had turned very cold.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked, fully knowing what was wrong.

"You know better than this, Potter. You know you shouldn't utter a word about the past or your memories about us. I don't want to know. I don't give a fuck about your vision of the past."

Harry sneered. "So that's it? The almighty Draco Malfoy is scared of a little thing called intimacy? Have you wondered why you feel so upset when I say these kinds of things? It's because deep down you know they are true, and you can feel it in your heart but you can't accept it." Harry felt Draco withdrawing even further away from him. Instead of bowing his head like he always did, Harry decided to keep talking, "If you didn't believe me, you wouldn't feel so bothered."

Draco grunted something that Harry couldn't understand. "I'm just your sex toy, right? My words shouldn't be able to hurt you," Harry pointed out.

"You haven't hurt me! Don't be silly!" Draco protested at once. "I just don't like to hear this sort of nonsense. It's all make-believe. And of course it disturbs me! I was never the person you keep talking about."

Harry sighed. "I'm starting to believe that, too."

"Aha!" Draco exclaimed victoriously. "See what I mean?"

Harry made a face. "In part, yes." He concentrated on getting his wrists free and when they were untied, he took off the blindfold covering his eyes and lit up the candles in the room with a snap of his fingers. Then he lit the fireplace, because the warming spell cast upon the room wasn't enough to keep him warm.

"Hey! Who told you to do that?" Draco complained, annoyed with Harry's display of power. "Why do you have to spoil my fun all the time?"

Harry blinked a few times to get used to the sudden light that hit his eyes, and then he spotted Draco sitting on the bed, pouting like a little kid. , He looked for his glasses, finding them on the bedside table. He grabbed his robes from the floor and put them on. Then he went for his glasses. When he was all set, he walked towards Draco.

The blond sneered. "Please, don't tell me you want to _discuss_ the _relationship_."

"Oh, so you do admit that we are in a relationship?" Harry sneered back.

"Don't be stupid. I was being sarcastic. What we have is only..."

"Sex," Harry completed.

"Yes. And since you spoiled the mood, we won't even have that tonight. So..." Draco waved his hand, "there's the door. Good night."

Harry didn't move an inch from his spot. He crossed his arms and said, "I admit that there's a lot more about you that I didn't know. I thought I knew all of you, but I was wrong. It kind of shocked me at first, but now... it just makes me wonder why you kept this part of you from me."

Draco frowned. "What part?"

"You were passionate before, but never like this," Harry said. "Now there's this fire inside of you that won't be put out. We loved each other a lot, but I never thought we would be able to have sex so many times in a row."

"Are you saying I was _boring_ before?" Draco asked, horrified.

Harry felt amused by the outraged tone of voice. "No, far from that. But... you never held me like this. Before you held me like I was made of glass. Now you don't mind being more aggressive. I kind of... like... that side of you." Harry flushed.

"Oh, so you _do_ like it rough," Draco pointed out with a smirk.

"To my shame, yes. I like it," Harry confessed in such an honest way that it threw Draco for a loop. "And I also like it when you're soft and gentle. I still love all of you. Besides, even when you're rough you're never violent. You never hurt me. Well, not much." Harry made a face. Draco had left some dark hickeys on his body the previous night.

Draco snorted. "You're a masochist. Get this once and for all, Potter. I don't love you." It sounded like the blond was sure of his words, but Harry caught a slight waver in his tone of voice. Or perhaps Harry was hearing things. But he could swear Draco's chin was trembling a little when he said, "I was raised not to love anyone."

"That's ridiculous. Even your father fell in love!"

"You know about that?" Draco asked, surprised. "How?"

Harry cursed his big mouth. He didn't think Draco was prepared to know that Lucius was involved with James. "Well... it's common knowledge in the Order. Love turned your father to the good side."

Draco shook his head. "I refuse to believe that. Who is this miraculous woman anyway?"

Harry gulped. "Erm... I don't know."

"You do know! You looked away. You always look away when you lie," Draco pointed out.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I do? How would you know?"

"Well... I..." Draco stuttered as if he had been caught in the act, but Harry was thrilled. If Draco didn't care about him, he wouldn't bother remembering those things!

But Draco's next words shattered his dreams. "I'm one of Voldemort's best fighters, if not the best. It's my duty to pay attention to the enemies' body language. You're really easy to read, Potter. It's a wonder you're still alive."

"It seems to me you've been paying _extra_ attention to me," Harry smirked.

Draco rolled his eyes. "In your dreams."

They went silent for a moment. They sighed almost simultaneously.

"You bore me," Draco pointed out, muffling a yawn with his hand. "You ruined the night of perversion I had planned for us, Potter. Are you happy? Now I'm just sleepy."

"Then let's sleep. Together."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you hear me? I don't feel like having sex anymore."

"I know. We won't do anything. We are going to sleep, in the truest sense of the word."

"Right. So, goodbye." When Harry didn't move, Draco frowned. "What are you still doing here? You can go now."

"I'm sleeping here," Harry responded calmly

Draco gasped. "What? Why?"

"Just because." Harry smiled, pulled aside the covers and jumped into bed. He looked at Draco and almost laughed at the blond's outraged expression. "What?" Harry provoked him. "Don't tell me you are scared."

"This isn't funny," Draco said between his teeth. "This is just too... too much!"

"Well, you're Draco Malfoy, Voldemort's right hand man. You fear nothing. I'm sure you won't mind spending the night sleeping by my side. If you think about it, I'm the one in danger here. You could kill me while I sleep."

"I might," muttered Draco.

"So... good night." Harry turned on his side, placed his glasses on the bedside table and then closed his eyes. His accelerated heartbeat didn't let him rest, though. With his heart in his mouth, he waited for Draco's next move.

------------------

Draco was stunned. He couldn't believe Potter's audacity! First, he had provoked Draco with the Weasley girl. Not that Draco had been jealous or anything. He was a Malfoy, though, and Malfoys were possessive. Since Draco thought of Harry Potter as _his_ plaything it didn't come as a surprise that Draco had wanted to choke the Weasley _little carrot_ to death for throwing herself at Harry.

Despite everything, Potter had followed him to his room, the place where the stage had been set for another night of forbidden pleasure. Or so Draco had thought. Because Harry Potter had the disgusting habit of ruining Draco's plans every time. And it wasn't enough to ruin his plans of wild sex. No. Potter also had to ruin Draco's beliefs and feelings. That was the second thing about Harry Potter that annoyed Draco to no end.

Most importantly, Draco couldn't believe _himself_ when he was with Potter. The raven-haired young man had given himself freely and willingly. And yet Draco couldn't use him for anything but sex. Draco sneered at the thought. What excused him was that they didn't have ordinary sex, but rather passionate, hot, steamy sex.

Draco felt shivers run down his spine. He glanced at the body lying beside him in bed and snorted. Harry Potter had some nerve. To just lie down by his side as if they weren't enemies, as if they were regular lovers. They just fucked. There shouldn't be any strings attached. Harry didn't seem to understand that though.

Draco wrapped his arms around his shivering body and sighed. Having Potter so close to him was making him nervous. Lying in bed together made it seemed as if they were intimate and important to each other. It made it even harder to draw a line between them. They were enemies and should stay as such. Sleeping together, in the truest sense of the word, would only mess things up. As if Draco wasn't confused enough! As if he already didn't have enough problems convincing himself that Potter was just there to entertain him, not to make his heart beat faster.

Draco's fist clutched at his robe as if that alone would make his heart beat normally again. It wouldn't, of course. Not with Harry Potter so close to him. All Draco could hear was his own unsteady breath. Every movement from the other side of the bed put him on high alert and made his whole body tremble. He cursed himself.

"Draco?"

Draco grunted. "Don't call me that," he complained in vain.

"Can't you sleep?" asked Harry in a whisper.

Draco sneered. "Of course not! How can I sleep with you here?"

"I won't attack you."

"That's not the point, Potter. It's just… too much."

"You already said that," Harry pointed out.

"And I'll keep saying it until you get it," Draco said, sulking.

Harry turned around and rested his elbow on the mattress. He bit his lower lip as if he was thinking about what to say. Draco found that adorable, but instantly berated himself for the thought. They stared silently at each other. Draco saw Harry's beautiful green eyes sparkling in the dim light and his heart beat even faster. Another minute and he would probably pass out. Harry's eyebrows lifted with surprise. Draco wondered what that was all about.

"What?" Draco asked defensively.

Harry stretched out his hand and touched Draco's cold fingers. His sudden move almost made Draco jump out of bed.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, teeth clenched.

"I wanted to make sure of something," Harry said.

"Of what?" Draco snarled.

"You're trembling," Harry stated.

"I am certainly not!" Draco quickly denied. It was an obvious lie. He couldn't stop shaking, and he didn't know why. Perhaps he was getting ill.

"Yes, you are." Harry came closer to him and touched Draco's forehead with the back of his hand. "Do you have a fever?"

Draco thought of pushing Harry away, of making a big fuss and kicking Harry out of his room. He had the right to. If he was smart, it was what he should do. But he didn't do anything. The whole situation had already gotten out of hand. The moment Draco heard the worry in Harry's voice and felt Harry's gentle touch on his forehead he gave up struggling. Indeed, Draco had a fever. The name of his disease was Harry Potter. Harry was his sickness but also his cure. The only things powerful enough to end his feverish state were Harry's kiss and touch.

"Draco?"

Draco closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. Then he opened them again and just stared at Harry for a long time. "Don't do this," he whispered, almost defeated.

Harry frowned. "Don't do what?"

"Don't be kind to me."

"Why not? That's how I am. I can't help worrying about you," Harry said softly. Then he cupped Draco's face and touched their foreheads together. Draco almost forgot to breathe.

"Hate me," Draco pleaded. "Hate me like you did before."

"I never hated you."

"Yes, you did."

"No. You annoyed me. But I never hated you."

"I hate you."

Harry smiled feebly. "I know."

"You confuse me."

"I know."

Draco sighed. "Suddenly, I don't like this game anymore."

"Thank goodness. Me either." Harry placed a soft kiss on Draco's lips. Slowly, it deepened. Draco let himself be kissed, first on his mouth, then his cheeks and finally his neck.

Harry's fingers found Draco's wrists and pinned his hands to the mattress. There was no rush this time, only gentle strokes and sweet kisses. Draco's heart began to melt, but he also felt restless. He swallowed hard as Harry took off his robe and tossed it away. Harry's tongue closed around a pink nipple, making it pop up. The mouth kept descending. Draco's underwear was soon gone as well. Too weak to resist, Draco let himself be ravished. A warm velvet touch engulfed his cock. Draco threw his head back and moaned. His toes curled as a wet finger invaded him. His body moved on its own. His voice came out in an endless moan.

Dazzled, he watched Harry undress himself quickly and then lie on top of him. Their lips met and their bodies rocked together. Draco dug his fingernails into Harry's back and smiled triumphantly when Harry groaned in response. They were close to heaven, but Draco needed more. He needed Harry inside him, thrusting into him, loving him. Driven by desire, he guided Harry's cock inside him. The friction between their bodies and their panting breaths and moans soon brought them to the skies. Draco shuddered, losing control, and came with a hoarse cry, moaning unintelligible things. Harry came a few thrusts later, sheathing himself fully inside Draco, his semen spilling down his thighs.

They recovered rather slowly. When Harry lay down beside him, Draco missed the warmth of his body. He looked at Harry and caught him looking back at him. It was time to throw his usual fit, but somehow Draco couldn't find the strength to do so. Quietly, he reached for a box of tissues that were on top of the bedside table and cleaned himself. Then he offered the box to Harry.

Draco felt that he had to say something or at least do something so he wouldn't be too out of character. But he didn't want to say anything. He was quickly being swept away by slumber. Harry's arms cuddled him. Draco didn't protest or pull away. With eyes half-open, he just looked at Harry. The bastard was smiling cutely. Draco wanted to tell him not to get his hopes up too high, but he didn't think it would do any harm to just let it be that once.

"Is it ok to hold you like this?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded absent-mindedly and Harry gradually relaxed in his arms and slept. Draco closed his eyes, too, but didn't fall asleep right away. His body was pleading for some rest, but his mind wouldn't cease bothering him. No matter how many times he told himself not to allow his heart to be vulnerable, he knew it was a lost battle. He was tired already. He didn't want to resist Harry anymore. His self-hatred didn't stop him from wanting Harry more and more. Draco felt a pang in his heart. He was falling for the Golden Boy, and he was falling hard. But instead of panicking like he thought he would, somehow that knowledge put him at ease. And just like that, he fell asleep.

**THE END** – of the second part!

A/N: So, how was it? I like the ending. It was sweet. Of course, there will be a third part. I think it will call Feels Like Home. I just hope to be able to write it all. XDD Please, review! It's really important to me.


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